People Explain What 'Rich People Sh*t' They Do Even Though They're Not Rich
Reddit user Abbas_Noorani asked: 'what is some rich sh*t you do even though you are not rich?'
When I started college, I had every intention of cooking all my meals. It became very apparent very quickly that I simply didn't have the time to accomplish this, and I became the Takeout Queen.
I ordered food constantly. Between getting a monthly "allowance" from my dad (intended to go towards groceries), finding coupons taped to my apartment door everyday, and essentially being "allowed" to tip less than handsomely since I was a college student, I was able to afford this.
When I graduated and moved into my own place, things changed. I was too old to not tip properly, I didn't get any supplementary money from my family, and I had more expenses, such as rent. Still, I continued to order food, and it became my main expense.
My friends tell me the way I order food is only meant for "rich people." I have to skimp on everything else in order to have enough saved to support this. It's definitely true, but I don't think this habit will ever change.
I'm not the only one that does "rich people stuff." Redditors do lots of things that is classified that way, despite not being rich, and they are ready to share their stories.
It all started when Redditor Abbas_Noorani 16 asked:
"What is some rich sh*t you do even though you are not rich?"
"Food. I buy what I want and I try new stuff. I like cooking."
"Grocery shopping without concern for budget is what made me realize I had made it back in the day. Good times."
"Now I have hard budgets again and it truly sucks. You question every damn decision and convince yourself to do without or downgrade to the lowest priced quality."
"On the same boat. The other day I looked at expensive butter that I used to stock up on without even thinking twice and sighed."
"Forget to cancel my free trial."
"Damn. Thanks for the reminder."
"I'm still a member of AOL."
"I leave the fridge door open when getting the butter out even though my dad said it would cost billions and send us to the streets."
"I leave the front door open when I pop out to grab my mail. Took me years of living on my own to realize the AC bill doesn’t shoot up by hundreds of dollars if I do that."
"Buy the good toilet paper."
"Good toilet paper. Can't stand cheapo toilet paper, you give yourself a surprise when your finger goes through the paper when wiping your chuff. Don't get me started on that stuff they used to have in hospitals! It was awful - sandpaper that didn't soak up but rather moved stuff 🤐"
Clean And Sweep
"I have a maid that comes weekly. I've found that my sanity is worth the cost."
"Weekly? Oo la la!"
"My thermostat stays at the temperature setting of what is most comfortable to me and nothing will change that."
"Lol this really outlined how different climates can be. My thought was "Yeah, I'm going to be as cozy and warm as I want and not freeze in the comfort of my own home.""
"Some days I have two sandwiches at lunch. I smile as I watch all my fellow proletariat eating their single sandwich."
"Brotip: Cut your sandwich an infinite number of times and rearrange the pieces into two full sandwiches. Don't give your money away to Big Sandwich!"
"Paying for car cleaning."
"Justified, tho my dad would kill me."
The Big Cheese
"I sometimes buy name brand cheese instead of the store brand."
"Tillamook or nothing for me! I’ll buy store brand beans and paper towels and other stuff. But not for my cheese!"
"We have a garage fridge that is full of all different kinds of beverages."
"It's not the fridge itself, it's keeping it stocked!"
A House Is A Home
"I own a house...."
"Oh damn rich people sh*t."
"We shouldn't be able to joke about owning a modest home being rich people sh*t. Anyone who works full time should be able to afford a home."
"I buy the gel comfort pens. Makes me feel I'm a higher class when writing at work. Smooth crisp consistent ink."
"I have gotten into arguments over people stealing my G2 .07."
"I buy small trash bags for the bathroom trash bins. My whole family uses grocery bags, but I don’t like how they always rip at the bottom."
– Deleted User
"No Margarine in my house, Butter Only, and lots of it. My arteries think I'm rich."
"I have HBO but I don’t watch it."
"I have Netflix, Prime, Hulu, and Disney Plus. Don’t watch any of it. Watch YouTube all the time and I’m too stupid to get Premium."
Now, that's the definition of having money to burn!
Of course, I wouldn't know. I need to save money for my food!
"Reddit user ella-es-julia asked: 'Men Break Down The Weirdest Things Someone's Ever Said To Them After Sex'"
People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.
Maybe it's the euphoria.
Maybe it's the adrenaline.
Maybe it's the tequila.
It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.
Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.
Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"
The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"
Morbid Much?In Bed Home GIFGiphy
"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."
"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."
"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."
"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"
"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."
"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"
"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."
"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."
"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."
Damn it's Good
"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"
"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."
"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."
A Binding Contract
"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."
"Still together 5 years later!"
It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.
And it all starts with a handshake.
Sleep on It
“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"
"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."
"This is the best one."
"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."
"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."
"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"
"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."
"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”
"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"
"I married her, we still goin' at it."
Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Giving compliments is pretty easy, although most of us don't do it often enough.
Accepting compliments can be much harder.
Too many of us immediately shift into disclaimers to explain why we don't deserve the praise.
But we just need to say thank you—even if the compliment is a little odd.
Reddit user callmejari asked:
"What's the weirdest compliment you have received?"
"Someone once told me that my voice was so soothing, it could put a crying baby sloth to sleep."
What About My Sneeze?
"'Your cough sounds nice' Was just a random girl on the train."
"Still throws me off 2 years later."
Hope It’s Not SpongeBob
"A 5-year-old kid told me he liked me because I looked like a cartoon."
“You look like Post Malone but when he was poor.”
The Better To Blow With
"Someone once told me my nostrils were a nice size."
"I have nice wide birthing hips."
"I'm a guy."
"You got the foundation for it, you're just missing the plumbing."
"'I like you because I'm into unattractive guys'. Thanks?"
Wrong Hemisphere, But Thanks
"When I was 16 working the drive thru—'You’re the prettiest Arabic girl I’ve ever seen'."
"I’m Mexican. But thank you ma’am."
Was His Name Vlad?
"'You've got beautiful veins'."
"By the guy that injected my contrast before an MRI."
~ Reblax837Werner Herzog Halloween GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy
It Keeps My Teeth In Place
"Some random NYC man told me I had a nice chin once. I still think about him."
Never Skip Leg Day
"I was told by a woman walking behind me on stairs that I had great calves."
"It was kind of weird at the time."
Not The BBQ Ones
"'I like your ribs'."
"From random girl at a pool party during a music festival."
Cleaning Up On Aisle 5
"I delivered bread to grocery stores in the 90’s and when I decided to change routes, the young lady who had always checked me in told me she’d really miss the sound of my voice."
"One time I was at the doctor for some lower back pain getting an ultra sound and the tech looked me dead in the eye and said 'You have really nice kidneys. They're very plump.'"
"Best strange compliment I ever received."
"'You walk like a cat'."
"'Aww... You sneeze just like a cat!'."
A compliment is a compliment, right?
What's the weirdest compliment you've received?
We can all agree that, as fun as it's supposed to be, the dating scene can be really, really hard.
Here's the secret: as hard as the dating scene can be to navigate, some of the trouble lies with us. We may not to be able to find a long-term partner or a date at all because of something that we're doing.
But when a friend is in this situation, it can be really hard to tell them the brutal truth about their dating history.
Redditor teekzer asked:
"What is causing your friend to remain single that you don't have the heart to tell them?"
"He keeps hanging on to the past and spending all his time hanging out with ex-girlfriends who are unavailable, or women who like him but he doesn’t romantically like."
"I always wondered why she couldn't get a date because she is gorgeous until I saw her flirting with someone."
"The first night they met, flirted, and swapped numbers. Then, she was immediately clingy, talking in a baby voice to him, and making baby noises."
"I can smell them. Everyone can smell them."
"You should find a way to tell them, it might hurt but they'll appreciate it."
The Nice Guy Mindset
"He really is not as nice of a person as he thinks he is."
"The ones who claim this rarely are."
"The people they like aren’t real. They are idealized, cartoonish caricatures. Now my friend himself has a lot to offer in my opinion, but he is looking for a person who doesn’t exist. Hard to find something that’s not there."
"I have a friend who started dating his flatmate after being really into her for a while, and then after a week or two said something like, 'Dating you doesn't feel as good as I thought it would,' TO HER."
"He basically torpedoed his own potential relationship because of his own ideal fantasy, and to be honest, I don't know if he actually realized he'd created an unrealistic standard in his own head."
"He's been single for the last decade, his mental health has only got worse in the time I've known him despite therapy, and I think he's probably so detached from 'appropriate dating behavior' at this point that he could be single for the rest of his life."
"Brother-in-law, not friend. But he makes the same jokes about poop and farts all the time. Like, constantly."
"Yes, some women like potty humor, but they usually also want it to be funny."
"He is also very negative; finds insult or something wrong with any situation."
Living in Fantasy Land
"He lies to himself about almost everything. He lives in fantasy land."
"He thinks he's in the gym five days a week, eats great, climbs mountains, goes camping, and makes loads of money."
"In reality, he's at the pub five days a week, over eats like s??t, went on one hike in January, can't hold a job, and lives paycheck to paycheck..."
"If you were to confront him with this reality, it wouldn't even get through to him."
"The type of guys she claims she likes isn't what she's actually attracted to."
"She keeps saying how much she loves shy introverted sensitive guys but when she finds one and dates him suddenly, she's like, 'He's not outgoing enough, doesn't speak his mind enough, and is too shy!'"
"I kind of think she has this 'I can fix him' syndrome and doesn't really acknowledge it. Like, she's attracted to the idea of a typical shy guy but thinks once they're in a relationship they'll suddenly be more open and turn into the guy she actually wants. That's not how it works!"
"She is so lovely. So kind, so generous, and so beautiful. But her crippling lack of self-esteem is so huge, it's visible from space, and her anxiety (and I'm 99% sure her undiagnosed ADHD) means that when she's at all nervous, she talks at 100 miles an hour in several directions at once."
"It's like being handed eight happy Labrador puppies to try and hold in your arms. I so badly want her to be happy and feel fulfilled but even I find it tiring sometimes."
The Negative Attitude
"I have two of these."
"One is the most talented, smartest, wonderful person I know and I wish I could pull the gremlins out of their brain so they could be happy."
"The other is self-fulfilling proficiency f**king up their life. He's not unlovable, or ugly, or uncared for, but walking through the world expecting rejection at all turns and living in a fog of negativity is what makes him unattractive to be around."
"So-and-so isn't hotter than you, that's not the reason they're getting more friends and lovers, but they are more positive and interested than you, and people are attracted to that company."
Just Pure Arrogance
"For my husband’s friend, it’s the selfish arrogance. I want what I want, and the subtext was that he never cared about what his girlfriend wanted."
"He would only go places he wanted to go, which never included her friends or family. He wanted to spend all his money on 'collectibles' related to sci-fi movies, DVDs, figurines etc."
"Engagement rings were a waste of money, investing, or buying a house ditto, no compromises were possible, he said NO, and no discussions were entertained."
"His opinion on every topic was the correct one, and he was not interested in your opinion, or listening to extra facts he did not know that might change his mind."
"He was once young and good-looking, and he thought he could find someone else when she walked when he was 32. They had dated for close to a decade. During the relationship, he had started to stack on the weight and losing his hair and he was not able to find a replacement."
"Now he is 49 and hasn’t had a girlfriend since. He still has not bought a house and they cost double what they did when they were dating, and his rent has tripled. He does have a copy of all his favorite movies in every format: VHS, DVD, AND BlueRay, a whole bedroom is dedicated to storing them, if you can get in there. His house is a hoarder's paradise."
"He says the reason no one wants him is because he is fat and bald, and it does not help, but it’s not the major turnoff."
"As for his ex, I don't really know what happened to her. She left all of us behind when they broke up. I did hear she got married, but no updates after that. She is a sweetheart, I wish all the good things for her."
Impossible to Move Forward
"Summarizing two types of my single friends:"
"Super successful, smart, funny, and good-looking. They also tend to go for folks who leave them on read for days. Their insecurities are their worst enemies and I think are the biggest factor of them chasing after partners who don’t want to be partners."
"Other friends don’t know how to commit to anything, including a job. It almost feels like a 'it’ll happen when it happens' type of ideology and so they don’t even try to make things happen? They act like things will happen on their own? So they’ll meet a person and then that’s it. Meet cute dead in the water."
"Desperation. From laughing way too hard at mediocre jokes to bringing up marriage on the first date, she reeks of it."
"We have all tried talking to her about it to no avail. The sad thing is that if she was just her regular funny, smart, relaxed self, then men would be falling over themselves trying to get her number."
A Want List
"Her standards are excessively too high. She brings nothing to a relationship. She's a walking contradiction, all of which is why she is single."
"I think it's great to have standards and high standards but hers is just a checklist of wants."
"He’s convinced women won’t like him because he’s short. I keep telling him I know plenty of guys just as short as him in great relationships, I’ve dated guys as short as him in the past. He just refuses to believe it."
"I dated a guy who was four feet, nine inches, and I'm five feet, four inches. He had such an amazing strong personality that you never noticed his height."
"I did find kissing standing up weird; the motions are so different when it's swapped."
"The relationship ended for other reasons than his height."
Alternatively, Open to Feedback
"I had a friend who finally did just ask. He came up to the girls in our group and just let us have an open conversation. I'm sure it was awkward and uncomfortable for him, but we gently laid out some issues. He cut his hair, got some new clothes, and (the big one) started therapy."
"A couple of years later, guess who's got a wife and a wonderful child?"
It's so disheartening to see the people we care about unable to have something that they would find so fulfilling like a long-term relationship.
But it's even worse when the reasons behind it are things they could work on, if we only had the guts to tell them or if they were open to hearing it.
As foreigners who travel, it's easy to be overcome by culture shock while taking in the sights of different countries.
But we may behave in ways that are completely normal for us back home but are not acceptable in the places we're visiting.
Which makes sense.
There are rules and restrictions we should be aware of before we arrive in a foreign country.
Redditor fittingpenguin solicited input from strangers online to weigh in on conflicting international rules by asking:
"What’s the craziest yet still legal thing in your country?
You probably didn't know these were actual rules.
"A direct ancestor/descendant or spouse of an individual cannot file a theft complaint against that individual except if it's essential documents, like an ID."
Who's The Baby Daddy?
"I always thought the paternity test one was worse for France. Your not allowed to perform one even if you've good suspicion the child may not be yours and you could be liable to child support for another person's kid."
Bees Take The Lead
"In Germany, you are allowed to enter private property to follow your honey bee swarm if the swarm is escaping and looking for a new hive."
"this is actually the case in lots of countries, where I am they can legally enter your yard to come to get them."
Things get very specific and downright shocking.
Gotta Be Pitch-Perfect
"In Belgium, anybody can sing or play an instrument in the Streets. In the city of Leuven however, you can be fined if you play your instrument off-key."
"To be fair to Leuven, with all the students running around doing it, I don't blame them."
Careful The Things You Say
"Someone can be found guilty of defamation even if what that person said or wrote is 100 percent true."
"Japan. e.g. if you expose someone for having an affair, that person can sue you for defamation. I suppose it's an expectation of privacy. The only exception is if it's in the "public interest" to know this information."
"You can freely walk, bike or ski in the nature on any private property. As long as it's not counted as a breach of domestic peace or you are not ruining their crop field or something. For example, even though you see a sign 'private property' in the forest. You are free to go pick mushrooms and berries there. Or you can even fish there freely (only with basic worm fishing rod though) if there's a lake on the property. You can even set up a tent on someone's private property for a short time (1-2 nights) as long as you aren't littering or disturbing anyone for example being noisy or on the way. The country is Finland, and these things are in the Finnish constitution as 'every man's/everyone's rights.'"
What happens if you break the law? There doesn't seem to be consequences here.
"I don't know if it's really crazy, I personally think it's good and reasonable, but here in germany it's not punishable to escape from prison."
"Of course in reality they might charge you with other things like property damage or assault etc. if you damage something or someone on the way out but the act of breaking out itself can't prolong your sentence because the need to be free is a fundamental human desire."
The Warden's Story
"I watched a doc on European prisons some years back and in a Croatian prison they talked to the warden. He told a story about a man who escaped. A week or so after the escape the prison received a package containing the man’s prison uniform."
"Since he had committed no crimes while escaping (just walked out the doors) and while an escapee, the only thing they could have charged him with was stealing his prison uniform. But since he returned it, there was nothing to charge and he just had to finish out his original sentence."
Leaving Civilly Is Not A Crime
"Basically, the normal rules of society apply. If you punch a guard to get past them, that's still a crime. If they leave you unattended with the door open or you sneak out under a lorry, that isn't a crime. They can still catch you and return you, but you can't be charged with attempted or successful escape, just any crimes committed in the process."
It's The Soldiers' Call
"Also Germany, soldiers are allowed to disobey orders if they think it violates human dignity. There are other nations with similar rules or even obligations regarding human rights and violation of geneva convention, but protecting even their own dignity is unique (I think)"
This doesn't have legal consequences but slurping noodles at the dinner table is perfectly acceptable in Japan.
As a matter of fact, the Japanese encourage it.
The Japanese believe that eating noodles while they're piping hot is the best way to enjoy them.
Also, what is perceived as rude etiquette in other countries is actually a sign of validation that the cook prepared the dish well.