People Reveal The Petty Thing They'd Do To Annoy People If They Got Rich
You know, one of the things we all fantasize about is returning to our high school reunions so incredibly rich that we make all the people who called us losers look bad. And better yet, we want to be rich enough to do whatever we want. Especially to those people that riled us up.
Redditor Zularis asked the good people of the internet:
Here were some of the most deliciously petty answers.
President For Your Thoughts?
Buy up every $1 coin of the most obscure President I can find, then bribe people obnoxiously. "Would a couple of Millard Fillmores change your mind?"
It Works For Me!
Use the "Why dont you just buy a new one?" in every situation possible
Start an Instagram account that shows me living a joyous life that only the top 0.1% of the world could live. Write captions that declare money doesn't matter. Use hashtags like #liveauthentic and #eatpraylove.
Use None Of It
Invite friends out to dinner and when they politely reach for the tab, let them pay.
Works Every Time!
I would tell people that I got rich by receiving money from a Nigerian prince by answering to his e-mail!
Two Trailer Park Girls Go Round The Outside
I'd buy all the property surrounding my old neighbor and convert them into a trailer park.
I'll Buy A New One
In the middle of bumper to bumper traffic, just get out of my car and walk away.
Bumper To Wealth
Buy the most expensive sports car and drive 10 mph below the speed limit everywhere I go.
It's Smart To Wear Layers
Upon meeting new people, I would take my glove off to show respect before I shook their hand, only to reveal yet another glove to shake their peasant hand with.
Here She Is, Boys
I would hire four ripped dudes to carry me around in a palanquin. I'm almost positive I wouldn't be breaking any laws. People on the subway may not be happy about it though.
I'd make lengthy YouTube ads flaunting all my fancy s* while telling you that I'm going to tell you how I did it but never actually doing that. Looking at you Tai Lopez
Life Is Hard
Take out a bundle of hundreds everytime I pay and complain about not having enough.
You'll Know My Face
Put up billboards all across town of me just smiling.
I'd be incredibly nice and generous to the point where you feel you could never actually pay me back for all the things I've offered you that you can't help but get resentful.
Make Everyone Suffer
I would hire hundreds of actors to stand in line and order just a cup of coffee at Starbucks during the morning rush.
Sucks To Be You
When my uncle became a stay at home dad, people thought he was leeching off of my aunt and living like a 'rich white boy' (their words). So, he started saying shit just to screw with them. If they asked him 'oh what did you do today' he'd say 'well, I got up by noon. Isn't that great?'
It made everyone so mad, but there was nothing they could do. So if it were me, I'd make little comments just to piss people off.
What They're Doing To Me, Now
Tell them money doesn't matter.
The Mess Is In Your Minds
I have ALWAYS wanted to do this - have a big, beautiful house, keep it absolutely pristine and clean. Then invite people over and say, "Sorry about the mess, it's a disaster here."
Pretty Much Our Lives Now
I often fantasize about winning the lottery, and then getting jobs at sh-tty places. I would wait for the boss to act like an -ss hole, as bosses do. Then I would tear them a new one, tell them what everyone is afraid to say to them, and then go home.
Evil. Just Evil.
I would employ a group of 50 or so people to find my brothers and walk slowly in from of them for the rest of their lives.
Spite Is Powerful
If I saw someone looking at something on the shelf in a shop then I'd very politely squeeze in and take all of the stock of said item for myself before they could. Maybe multiple times in a row to the same person if I was feeling especially petty.
Also very aggressively play supermarket sweep.
New Items Afoot
Always told myself I wanted to be rich enough to wear a new pair of socks everyday.
Used To Fancy Things
I'd buy all the plates at fancy political fundraising events, and bus in droves of homeless people to eat. I'd be sure to displace all the other rich people who usually like to suck up and buy off politicians. WTF is the politician gonna have to say about it? Think they've got the balls to complain about altruism like that?
It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's...Insulting Me...?
Buy a helicopter for work commute purposes and paint the bottom to say " so long peasants!!!"
Wealth Changes Everything
If i was a millionaire I'd keep a stack of benjamins in my wallet at all times for the sole purpose of paying people to stop talking. Whenever someone says something that annoys me, I'll whip out a crisp new bill, hand it to them, and casually retort "if i pay you $100, will you shut the f-ck up?"