When reflecting on failed relationships, do you ever wonder if you've missed any indication the person you used to share a bed with was not a good match?
"What 'Red Flags' did you totally miss in your past relationships? And why?"
A person's lack of trust in a relationships is indicative of a larger issue.
Checks Phone
"She insisted on checking my phone all the time, but I was never allowed to touch her phone, ever."
Phone With X-Rated Content
"when one month into the relationship I discovered nudes of other women on his phone and that he still had Tinder. when three months into the relationship he went though my text messages and read through old conversations I had with someone before I even started seeing him and somehow made me feel guilty about it, and four months into the relationship when he cheated on me for no reason other than that he could in the moment and he was drunk. it took me three years to break up with him."
Addicts who will not get help are bad candidates for love.
It's Not Up To Us To Change People
"I was too new to realize that you can't 'fix' an addict."
– sabboo
Serial Drinker
"That somehow there was always a good reason to drink. Later he became lazier and stopped pretending to have a reason and just drank the whole time out of habit."
– Annabenc
Appropriate Metaphor
"I'm half convinced zombies are a metaphor for addicts. They look like your loved one which why you don't immediately recognize them as a bottomless pit of hunger that will either get close enough to try to bite you and turn you into one of them or simply tear chunks out of you until there's nothing left."
Mommie Dearest
"I married a mom's boy. I didn't see the problem at first but things got weird quickly. She controlled him and our marriage."
"It took 15 years and couple of kids, but I left that situation. The funny part is, after the divorce, she and I got along quite well."
– 629mrsn
Gaslighting is a common problem in relationships that people unfortunately are unable to identify early on.
Getting Territorial
"He 'didn't get jealous' but he also didn't want me to hang out with male friends. Or, in fact, other people in general. One time he came to pick me up from the cinema, saw I'd been there with a friend, and got so mad on the drive home that he punched the steering wheel. That was...a thing."
"He also took advantage of my mental health problems to not only gaslight me but to make him look like the better person and to make me out to be crazy. I didn't realise the extent of it until ages later when I was in a healthy relationship! Lesson time: if someone is constantly making you feel uneasy and vulnerable, they are not your friend, let alone your partner."
– Botentbo
Foreigners Explain Which Parts Of American Culture Seem Strange | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Textbook Move
"YES. The whole 'I'm not controlling you because I'm not directly 'forbidding' anything; I'll just find ways to emotionally punish you after, until you can't muster up the energy anymore' game. A classic. Your world shrinks month by month, seemingly by choice, and one day you look up and realize you have nowhere else to turn. Textbook."
"If they're yelling anything like 'I'm not controlling!' or 'I don't get jealous!' at you, it's a red flag. This is NOT a debate that needs to happen in healthy relationships. You're not crazy, you're just being gaslighted. Sure sign to GTFO."
Mental Health Denier
"First bf I had, he was 24 I was 18. Was the only person outside my family who I told about my depression after I was diagnosed with it. He said that was a fake disease. Because this was many years ago and on the media, there wasnt much info about it like nowadays, I believed him. One time he went out with me and my sister, he took us home but he was extremely wasted. He crashed against a wall and the car was a total loss."
"At that moment I felt like sh*t because of his car and because 'this wouldnt have happened if he wouldn't have taken us home'. Months later he used to laugh about the accident because his parents bought him a new car. He was always joking about how we 'defeat death', and later confessed to me that he knew the brakes were not working properly that night. I was so f'king pissed cause my sister and I could have died. Overall the guy was a complete a**hole and I am glad we only dated for 9 months. After that I have never dated with anyone who drives after drinking, nor with anyone who believes mental health issues are fake."
Analyzing Happiness
"The constant teasing and diminishment of what made me happy wasn't a misunderstanding. I wasn't miserable because I just needed to lighten up. I didn't realize it at the time because I didn't realize I grew up with a parent who did that to me, so I though this was normal behavior and I was bad for not appreciating it."
They were pretty much difficult people to live with.
I Just Want Muffins
"Yeah my first red flag... I liked to randomly buy muffins from a shop below us. They were like 1.50 and delicious. Would buy them maybe twice a week at most. Boyfriend told me to stop buying muffins that I was waisting my money on junk food and they aren't healthy and I'll get fat. Wish I would have stood up for myself then. Cause who the f'k cares if I want to buy myself a yummy snack once in a while."
"That was the first thing he tried to control. Followed by about 2 years of emotional abuse and sexual assault. Similar to you, couldn't do anything right. Would stop saying I love you but said, 'I maybe could love you if...' If I tried to get him to stop touching me he'd throw a fit. Dude, you've been rubbing my boobs for 2 HOURS. Terrible. I got out but the abuse sticks with you. I'm really sorry sorry for your trauma."
Never Satisifed
"She complained a lot of things and had often strong opinions, i liked it in the beginning and thought she just has „pepper in the buttocks". Well she just liked to complain a lot and no matter why i did, i could never get her fully satisfied."
No Motivation
"Complete and total lack of ambition. He would complain about his job and finances, yet did nothing to change his circumstances. I would tell him to take advantage of his days off start some classes or courses that would help him in the future, I told him I could handle us financially until he was done and when he was done it would be my turn…His days off were spent playing video games and smoking weed."
"We would talk about all the dreams we had for our future. He was supportive when we talked about it but when I started putting in the work, getting promotions, bringing in more money, he became resentful. I would tell myself he was in a funk, it was just a phase, NOPE this was a personality. He couldn't walk the talk."
"6 years of missing this enormous Red flag went by…but when I left, everything I had worked towards was coming to fruition."
– nonafett
Not People-Friendly
"He didn't have any friends. I thought he was a misunderstood loner but he was actually just hard to be around."
Many in the thread said red flags are often there but are ignored.
This was true for a friend of mine who was in an emotionally abusive relationship. She recognized all the signs telling her she needed out of that relationship, but she stayed with him because, "he was working on changing to be a better person."
She held him to that promise for three years and realized he was not making any effort to change at all, but she refused to see it because she "loved him."
She eventually left him and is now happily married. Her only regret was the fact that she wasted a lot of time ignoring what her gut had been telling her all along.
It was a good reminder we should trust our instincts more.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.