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The Real Reasons People Said 'F**k It' And Gave Up On Helping Others

The satisfaction of knowing we helped out someone's situation, no matter how big or small, has a way of making us feel better about ourselves.

That is until we discover what exactly we were "helping" with.

Be it an internet scammer or a dishonest friend, sometimes we find that our money or time might not have gone to the cause we expected it to.

Or was donated under false pretenses...

These experiences can be so frustrating, that it can actually cause some people to stop helping others ever again.


Redditor was curious to hear if anyone gave up on helping others after an unfortunate situation, leading them to ask:
"What was your 'F*** it, done helping others' moment?"

Where Have I Seen That Before...

"I posted a futon on marketplace and the first person that hit me up gave me a sob story about needing something for their kid to sleep on."

"I was only asking $20 for it but they asked if they could get it for free."

"My wife and I agreed to give it away, so I took it to our meeting spot at Home Depot."

"2 days later this guy had the futon posted in marketplace asking $50."

"My wife and I Facebook stalked him and his wife and every time they posted it, we would hijack the listing letting everyone know the story of how they got the futon."

"I don't give sh*t away anymore, no matter the story they give me."- archangelmlg

Circle Of Duplicity...

"I stood by my best friend when she cried to me about her husband cheating."

"And he definitely was cheating."

"They stayed married and said they work through it."

"Six months later she was f*cking my husband behind my back."- superwhovianlock

You Never Know Who You Can Trust...

"Was donating baby/toddler clothes to a mom in need through one of those Facebook donating pages."

"She didn't have a car, I did so I drove 30 minutes away to deliver the stuff all for free."

"Got in a bad accident less than 5 blocks from her house."

"So I texted her to see if she could come get what she was able to because my car was totaled."

"She wouldn't walk the 4 blocks then reported me to the group and got me kicked out for 'not following through'."

"I ended up with a fractured sternum."

"Yeah, f*ck that sh*t, never again."- LifeIsSweetSoAmI·

It Was Ok The First Time...

"I'm a teacher."

"A parent of a former student contacted me in an emergency situation, couldn't afford to pay bills, and needed help."

"She was super helpful to me in my first year teaching, so I asked friends and family to help out and raised her about $2,000."


"Never again."

"She has contacted me every few weeks since then, always with a new reason why she needs more money, and when I offer food and clothing resources, she refuses it."

"It has placed me in such an awkward situation and I regret ever trying to help her out in the first place."- mynameissarah

There Is Such A Thing As Moving Too Fast...

"Met a guy who had hit a rough patch."

"We had great chemistry and he made me laugh."

"Ugh the bar was SO low."

"He gave me a sob story of why he was getting kicked out of his communal house and I offered to let him stay with me because I live alone and have my own place."

"HUGE MISTAKE! "

"He hadn't hit a rough patch, he was the rough patch."

"Barely paid for anything and would get wasted while I was at work and be a total a** hole when I got home."

"Got fired from his job, ate all the food I'd buy and make excuses as to why he hadn't found another job yet."

"The absolute kicker was when I went home for my Nonna's funeral, he treated it like a mini vacation in my place."

"Invited friends over, played music so loud the cops got called and when he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, he was wasted at someone's house at 8 am."

"Never felt better than the day I kicked him out."

"No more financial and emotional abuse."

"Finally felt like my place was mine again."

"I've learned an expensive lesson."

"Don't help people that won't help themselves."

"When nothing is their fault, there's a serious issue."

"Run fast and far."- vikinglizzie

Unwelcome House Guests

"Had a friend years ago who was a bit self centered & prone to stretching the truth, but he was a nice enough guy with a rough backstory and my friend group liked him, so I cut him a lot of slack."

"I like to host and I have friends staying over pretty regularly."

"Back then, I usually had one or two people spending the night on any given day."

"Anyhow, over the span of a couple of years this guy starts abusing that."

"Staying over for days or even weeks at a time, eating my food and drinking my liquor without contributing, that sort of thing."

"While constantly talking about his grand plans and daydreams as if they'd already happened."

"A little sad, but also pretty annoying after a while."

"Anyhow, I sit him down one day and let him know he's gotta head home, and that he's free to come over and hang out but I'm not comfortable with him staying over for the time being."

"He leaves, I think it went remarkably well, and head out to work."

"And it turns out that he broke in while I was away at work and stole a bunch of my sister's things because 'his birthday was coming up and neither of us even thought to get him a gift'."

"It takes a special person to rationalize how burglarizing someone is really their fault."

"Anyway, all slack and sympathy went out the window immediately."

"Called the cops and he's dead to me."- bada**_panda

Signed Contract

"In my freshman year of college, my friend of about two years got kicked out of his parents house. He said he needed somewhere to stay "for the night" till his parents cooled off."

"I said you can stay a week if you want but more than that and you'll need to pay me rent (he made pretty good money, more than me even). I was kind of hoping to find someone to split the bills with anyway."

"A week rolls by and he hasn't even looked for another place. His parents aren't letting him come back."

"I ask him if he's going to stay, he says "if it's alright with you" I say sure, just pay me half the cost of the apt every month. He said he can't (I know damn well he can). I say "well then you gotta go"

"He asked if he could stay another week. I said no. He got pissed at me for that. I then got pissed at him for getting pissed at me. I gave you a place to stay and you are mad at me??? Totally ended the friendship."

"Never let anyone into your place unless you have a signed contract."

Reddit

Mower Problems

"Had a newish neighbor ask if he could borrow our lawn mower....sure. Well more or less every week he would come and get it out of our garage, use it to cut his grass, put it away without cleaning it or adding gas. In the fall we "mentioned" it was a good time to get deals on a new mower. He never talked to us again." -

FireandIceT·

Written Agreements


"When my dad was in nursing school, he had a big group over for a finals studying session and one of his classmates couldn't get a sitter. Well, at the time he had four kids and I was 14 and he asked if I could wrangle her kid and my siblings to keep them out of the way of everyone studying. The plan for the siblings was cartoon movies, some popcorn, dinner later. The plans for my father's classmate's kids was... I can watch them for free, no problem."

"She showed up with FIVE kids. I now had eight under eight year olds to wrangle and I got yelled at every time one of her kids got near the study group. They were screaming, yelling, messy, hitting each other, biting my siblings demons. After four hours, I was sick of it, the kids were hungry and the adults asked ME what was for dinner."

"After a while, it became obvious that dad and company weren't studying- they were talking, laughing, and I could hear them making fun of me. So I gathered up the classmate's kids, walked them over to the group, and said "well, since you're done, I'm done watching your kids" and just went into my room and shut the door."

"As the oldest kid, I was ALWAYS volunteered by my parents to babysit kids I didn't even know the names of. It got old REAL fast."

"Now if someone asks me to babysit because they heard that I have 18 brothers and sisters, I demand $50 up front and a written agreement that I get an extra $10 for every hour +$10 per kid. I haven't babysat in ages."

heyomeatballs

Put Foot Down

"We have helped out my sister n law a few times with money/bills. Never a lot, $50 here, $100 there. Usually for some bill to avoid services being cut off. I’m usually the more heartfelt one in my marriage, but I ended up being the one to put my foot down."

"Went over to her apartment once. She had two big flat screen TVs, new couch, new fridge, kids on PlayStation or whatever console she got them. It was all Rent-a-Center stuff, but that was the end for me."

"I didn’t have any of those things myself, not to mention the incredibly bad financial decision those things were with the high interest rate. Part of me felt like I was taking food out of her kids mouths, but realized that no, her poor decisions were doing that."

"The situation, on both sides, is way more complicated than I can put into just a couple of paragraphs as you can imagine. I want to help others and still do, but it is hard to keep supporting those that refuse to make any attempts to help themselves. I mentioned below she has started to do things differently. We’ve since lent her money again and she has always paid us back when she said she would. She still has a long way to go and a lot of challenges ahead of her, but we love her and will support her efforts as best we can."

red_eye_rob

Generosity can't be forced.

An act of generosity is meaningless if someone is trying to get something out of it.

At the same time, no one should expect generosity, but instead be appreciative and grateful when it's given.

One can only hope that the people in these stories who took advantage of the generosity of others might stop and contemplate how their selfishness might have negatively affected those who genuinely need the help.


People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.