People Confess How They Really Feel About Open Relationships
*Content warning: suicide*
The concept of an open relationship is nothing new.
It's just that nobody really spoke of it so openly in the past.
Now people are openly discussing whether monogamy suits them in modern times.
Redditor Jakubeu101 was wondering how people really felt about relationships with more than one lover, so they asked:
"What do you think about open relationships?"
It's certainly not for everyone, especially those who have a tendency to get jealous.
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"Tried it for a year. Didn't work. It's perpetual dating which is the worst. Then they get jealous."
"All the hassle of 2 (or more) relationships needs to be something everyone involved needs to be okay with. It can be done correctly by couples that really know how to communicate and are strong in conflict resolution. (Usually this also means starting in an open relationship and not opening up later on) Unfortunately many couples use 'opening up the relationship' as a solution to avoid the need to communicate better. Those are doomed from the beginning."
"My parents have been together for 40 years, married for 36. A couple weeks ago we went and stayed with one of my dad's childhood friends. As the wine got flowing, she regaled the rest of us with various stories of the shenanigans they got up to with their other friends. My mom was having the time of her life hearing all these stories she'd never heard before. (this was northern Wisconsin in the early 80s, lots of teenage drunken shenanigans)."
"Not for me, but I don't care if everyone's a consenting adult and no one is taken advantage of. The issue IMHO is that if you go from monogamous to open it is shifting the relationship in ways that rarely work, but if you come at it from the start there's decent chances of making it work."
All of It
"I think the idea that you've learned everything and there's nothing else new to know about a person is the first problem. I was in a polyamorous relationship for about a year and even to the end of it was constantly learning things about my partners, their SOs etc."
"I'm now monogamous and married, and years down the road I'm still learning things about my partner. They've lived a whole life before me, it will be many many years before I know 'everything' about them."
"I think it’s one of those things where both partners have to be 100% on board with what it means. There can’t be jealousy and you have to be ok with the idea of your partner sleeping with more people than you possibly. I think most people who consider an open relationship don’t really think about it means so it inevitably fails."
It's not for everybody. Emotions in check first.
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"I'm in one. Going strong almost 8 years. Requires a ton of communication. Also, what counts as an open relationship varies wildly and the boundaries/rules are determined by the people within the relationship. There is no one size fits all."
"I met a guy on tinder that was in an open marriage. We went on a few dates, one of which I was surprised to meet his wife and kids."
"They seemed like a happy family, very content with their arrangement. I enjoyed getting to know the guy, but he started to get impatient with how slowly I was moving. I wasn’t comfortable moving forward physically, so we decided to end it. Fast forward a year later, and he ended up committing suicide."
"His wife wasted no time posting online about how awful he was to her. It seems their 20-year open relationship was his game of control. He was a cheater and an abusive husband. I carry some guilt knowing he used me to upset her, and I sat there with a stupid smile on my face."
"Tried it, she screwed some dudes and when I picked up started getting jealous. Most open couples aren't really open. Usually someone wants it (or just wants to cheat without guilt) and someone's getting dragged into, pretending it's okay. Very few true open relationships, it's proven by how many last more than a year."
Doing It All
"My husband and I did it...very enthusiastically... For about 6 years. We made the decision to try it after 24 years of marriage and because neither of us had had any other partners before we met. For us it was a fantastic experience. We never had issues with jealousy but we had a very strong relationship with a high degree of trust. We definitely saw a lot of marriages fail due to those issues."
"Eventually we sort of... faded out of it tho. It is just a lot of work. Finding people with the right chemistry-the on line dating scenes, going to the clubs, the meet up's that don't always work: it's exhausting. But for us it was definitely worth it. And if my hubby came to me tomorrow saying that he'd met someone he'd like to screw, I'd still be cool with it."
"I personally hate them because of an ex. I was pressured to make our relationship open for months, and I really didn't want to. That wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted to have. I later then found out that she was pushing so hard because she was already sleeping with other guys and wanted a 'guilt free' way to cheat on me, and ended up sleeping with three other people that I am aware of."
"Generally I don't mind them if that's what you want and all parties are okay with that situation. I have a friend who does that and he's never been happier in terms of a relationship with someone. But I will refuse to ever do an open relationship with anyone."
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"I'm genuinely not a fan, i prefer monogamy as I feel a much closer bond can be created between two people rather than a group. however that is not how it is for everyone."
You do you.
Just be honest and really communicate how you're feeling and the boundaries you feel comfortable with.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Stereotypical 'Women's Things' That All Men Should Absolutely Start Doing
Why are men, particularly straight men, so adverse to trying new life things that go against their norm?
Like things women do.
Do men have a beauty regime?
Do you have regular mental health checks?
Do you and your friends talk about your feelings?
You REALLY should.
Men can learn so much from the daily aspects of a woman's life.
Redditor st_new34 wanted to hear about all the things men can learn from women, so they asked:
"What's a women's thing men should absolutely start doing?"
I'm interested in this list.
Aren't most things unisex now?
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"As a former cook and current welder; hand lotioning."
"My dad refused to use hand lotion for a while and he kept getting big cracks in his knuckles. The cold would destroy his skin. He would only put lotion on when it was basically bleeding, by which point it can’t really do much help."
"Getting checked out by a specialist. There’s a reason colon cancer has a higher mortality rate among men when it’s actually one of the most preventable cancers. The thought of having a colonoscopy done makes them squirm."
"In the US you can also arrange for a Cologuard screening, where you literally just mail in your poop and get tested for certain colon cancers. It shouldn't replace regularly scheduled colonoscopies, but it can be done between them."
"Problem with cologuard is screening is 100% covered. If it the cologuard positive, you have to get a diagnostic colonoscopy which is subject to deductibles and copays. If you go with a screening colonoscopy in the first place you pay nothing."
"Sewing. Sewing is awesome. I learned basic sewing to make some bow ties for my wedding and it's an extremely rewarding skill that allows you to repair clothes, save money, and it's superb meditation."
"Not only repairing clothes, but basic tailoring. I learned how to do it on YouTube and it’s a game changer as a guy with broad shoulders that make every shirt fit like a trash bag."
"Putting a blanket on your lap while you work. It's life changing."
"A few days ago my wife brought a whole a** double duvet into the living room because it’s winter now. I thought she was mad but it’s cozy as s**t, I’ve got the dog under here."
"In my house we have an assortment of couch blankets. You really need more than one because you'll want to have one on the couch while the other is in the wash."
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"Complimenting each other."
"I do this with my co workers. 'Looking sharp today Phil' is all it takes to make a day."
I love a good compliment.
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"Yoga, especially as you get older, wish I had started sooner."
"My husband never really did pedicures before we met and the fist time I did one for him he was in love with it. I used a scraper to get the dead skin off his heels (he calls them hooves haha) and he was horrified how much came off. He’ll even inspect my work now and say 'this toenail is a little jagged do want me to look a mess??' He likes being pampered and I’m happy to do it for him!"
Feels so Good
"I was trying on jeans for work the other day and I found this magical material that stretches but looks like denim. I was gushing over them and my wife laughed and said a lot of women’s jeans use that material and a lot of hers are the same. Men should discover these jeans!"
"Edit: A lot of responses are about the inferior quality. Fair enough but I work retail and am constantly squatting to fill shelves etc so I’ll take comfort over durability any day. Especially when I’ve got a bit of an a** on me, customers don’t need to be walking around the corner and catching a plumber’s crack unexpectedly!"
"I work in a kitchen full of men and it's quite sad to listen to them tell each other that they can't cry. Or that they are not supposed to do so. I don't know who came up with this but I fight that 'concept' every chance I get. As a result, most of them feel safe to share their emotions with me. Even crying."
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"Make noise during sex. Not even dirty talk, any words of encouragement would be enough."
Well, that is a lot to process.
Men... take notes and start breaking some of these 'norms.'
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down The Smallest Things That Made Someone Unattractive To Them
The reason why some single people are unable to find love can be loosely attributed to either one of the following.
Person A might be difficult or overbearing and can potentially scare off certain people.
Or, Person B might be really picky and refuses to make compromises once they start a new relationship.
For the latter individual, it can be an idiosyncratic thing about the other person that can be enough to be a turn-off.
Curious to hear what some of these examples could be, Redditor DrDecane asked:
"What's the smallest thing that made someone unattractive for you?"
These Redditors found it challenging trying to make awkward romantic situations work.
The Silent Partner
"I once went on a date with a man who literally only spoke when responding to a question, answered as briefly and evasively as possible, and offered no reciprocating questions or remarks."
"At the end of a 45 minute struggle when we parted ways, while I was still trying to figure out why a person with such crippling social anxiety would subject himself to an interaction so far outside his ability to handle, he asked if we could see each other again sometime."
"They were a bad cook. They didn’t use SEASONINGS! It’s not an allergy thing either. They made good money too it’s not a poverty thing. Literally they liked plain chicken breast no seasonings and dry as bone. He made me a 'taco' that consisted of only unseasoned hamburger in a plain ( not even warm) taco shell 🌮. No salsa , no cheese, no cilantro.. greasy meat in a room temp shell."
"I’m not cooking 3 meals a day for 2 people for the rest of my life and I sure as sh*t ain’t eating his satanic creations."
"I dated a girl that had a catch phrase. I think she uses Reddit and the catch phrase is very distinct so on the off chance she sees this I won’t say it. It didn’t make a lot of sense, think if someone were to say 'If you’re there, then you’ve made it!'”
"Except she would say it in response to all sorts of random situations where it wasn’t at all appropriate. Whenever someone complimented her or me, if you talked about plans you had. Just randomly tossing it out on conversations."
"It became a turn off so quickly because I just could not wrap my head around why she said it so often. I got sick of hearing it from her. Legitimately one of the biggest reasons we broke up."
Some dates are just unkisseable.
"White stuff in the mouth corners."
"Went to dinner, they started chewing kinda loud with their mouth open. I have misophonia, so it's probably even worse for me when someone does that. Immediate no."
The Sloppy Friend
"My husband’s best friend can’t eat without getting food all over his face and making gross noises while chewing. He also is a SUPER loud drunk. And walks out of the bathroom and back to the conversation while still simultaneously zipping/buttoning his jeans and buckling his belt."
"Really sweet, funny guy and a wonderful friend to both of us. But I cannot even imagine dating him. It would probably end in murder."
"Jesus, I dated a guy who ate like a bird...there was food EVERYWHERE by the time the meal was done. Flinging it around somehow without me actually seeing him do it. A sneaky flinger. Picture a parakeet beak deep in a food tray filled with seeds. Just chucking the seeds. Dig, eat, fling, nope, don't like that one bite, fling over the shoulder..."
"Dude cringed when I brought out a beach towel and put it on my new couch before we started eating dinner. As I was spreading the towel, I looked him dead in the eyes and declared, 'if you damage my new, $2,500 couch, you are dead.'"
Unsolicited texts and photos aren't always the way into one's heart.
Not The Way To Start The Morning
"He sent me selfies every morning with his good morning text."
"Yesssssss. So awkward. Like, am I supposed to send one back? Every day?"
"We hadn’t even met in person yet."
It took a vacation for these Redditors to realize they were not with the kind of people they'd want to ever share a life with.
Realization During A Vacation
"On a trip to the islands. HE WAS STEALING BATHROOM TOWELS and putting all the sugar and tea packets into his bag. He was telling me to hurry and stock up as well😐 I asked him if he really planned to steal 'thousands of a** towels..' he stopped packing. This was an eye opener to me. I was turned off and we are no longer together.😎"
Demeaning The Workers
"They went from an 11/10 to a 0/10 because they decided to berate and belittle the people who were helping us with our luggage as we got on and started our boat cruise. The rest of the trip was awkward af"
At the risk of sounding shallow, years ago I briefly dated a tennis player whose winsome personality won my heart.
However, I noticed something really peculiar about him. Every time we were out walking, I noticed he had the tendency of leaning into me whenever I was on his left side while walking in tandem.
When I casually asked him about his frequent need for getting awkwardly close, he explained that his gait was affected by a condition that left him with one leg shorter than the other.
After we completed that day's rendezvous together, I subsequently ghosted him.
Okay, I fully admit my shallowness in that situation.
I'm not proud of it.
Sometimes adulting is incredibly hard, especially when we're going through a trying time or are struggling with our health or mental health.
These pieces of advice may seem simple on the surface, but especially during the hard times, they could create a meaningful change for someone.
Redditor TheSensibleTurtle asked:
"What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?"
"It came from Reddit, funnily enough."
"'Set limits for what you’re prepared to give, because people who take don’t have limits for how much they’re prepared to take.'"
"I’ve definitely applied it to my life. Unfortunately, there are several people I know who have yet to apply it to theirs."
"Never lend money you can't afford to ever see again. Also, loan money with the expectation that you're never going to see it again."
"The single most important decision you will make in life is your partner."
Know What You Want
"If it's not a clear yes, then it's a no."
"Nothing is permanent. Jobs, relationships, good times, and bad times."
"Something I say to myself when making big decisions."
"In relationships: It's not you and your significant other against each other. It's both of you against the problem."
Time After Time
"A very rich friend of mine told me that he can buy or access almost anything at this stage of his life, except time. Make the most of every moment."
Drink Your Water
"I had a friend's mom down my childhood street that insisted this was the curative agent for all that ailed you. And most of the time, she was not wrong."
"Indigestion? Water. Constipated? One tall glass of water every hour at least. Headache? Water."
"Her kid got the flu and his mom was like, 'I'm not taking him to the doctor. What are they gonna do? Tell him to drink water and eat food? I'm not paying 20 bucks and waiting an hour to hear that."
Gossip Goes Both Ways
"People who gossip about others to you, gossip about you to others."
Communication Is Key
"You have the right to tell someone how they make you feel."
"Never attempt to fix a plumbing problem when the hardware store is closed."
"It was from my dad. I am pretty sure that he learned it the hard way!"
You Are Worth More
"Your job doesn't define you."
"Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."
"If you can just barely afford a house then you can’t afford it really. Something for new homeowners to bear in mind."
"Have some friends that bought a very expensive house. They used every bit of what they were able to be loaned. They now work just to be able to live in the house. Tried to tell them that if the majority of their income goes to the mortgage, then they can't afford the house."
“'Just do the things that make you happy and don’t do the things that don’t make you happy.'"
"From an ex-boyfriend who said this to me years ago. It’s so simple but kind of blew my anxious little self’s mind."
Don't Listen to Them
"'Don’t take criticisms from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.'"
"I suffer from insecurities and have had people make some horrendous comments to me in my life. Someone once told me the above quote and it made something click in my head. From then on, things have been a h**l of a lot better."
While some of these tips appear resoundingly simple, they could be a real life-changer if put into practice.
People Divulge The Scariest Thing That's Ever Happened To Them in Broad Daylight
It's understandable why so many people are afraid of the dark.
There is no clear sight ahead, no telling who might be around, not to mention being even more attuned to every sound you hear in your periphery.
There's simply no telling what may happen to you when you're out alone in the dark.
Unfortunately, nothing can stop the same things from happening to you in broad daylight.
Indeed, the most terrifying things many people ever experienced happened when the sun was shining high.
"What's the scariest thing that has ever happened to you during broad daylight?"
Never Trust Strangers
"When I was around 8, a man approached me in a busy park and asked if I wanted to come see his pet dog."
"He was pointing to a wooded area to the side of the park."
"I now know that in that woods is an abandoned rail line."
"Luckily I had enough common sense to say no and run to an adult."
"I shudder to think what could have happened now."- foxfaced95
You Meet All Kinds Of People At A Bus Stop
"I once was at a bus station in the morning, waiting for the bus that would take me to University."
"I was looking straight ahead when I felt a huge pain in my ear."
"I turned around and realized a guy had just punched me on the ear."
"I looked at him and the look in his eyes was terrifying."
"He was like on drugs or something."
"Never met the guy."
"I screamed 'what the f*ck?'"
"And then something unrealistic happened: a bus pulled over (not mine) and the driver who must have witnessed the scene hopped off, told the guy 'you don’t hit girls!' and jumped on him to fight."
"I was shocked."
"The bus I was supposed to take arrived and I ran inside."- elratoncitohermoso
The World We Live In
"For context, I live in Lebanon."
"The scariest day of my life was August 4, 2020."
"Let me explain."
"So it was about 6:00 PM, and I was walking to the living room to watch TV."
"(I was about 13 at the time) Then, the ground started shaking."
"I thought it was in my head. because I always get randomly dizzy. "
"So I held onto the wall, and the wall was asking to."
"I then screamed to alert mother and sister (my father was at work) and then all hell broke loose."
"I hear a loud explosion sound that rang in my ears, and a carpet hit me in the face."
"I look outside and see a huge purple cloud of smoke."
"Turns out I had just witnessed one of the biggest non-nuclear explosions to have been recorded."
"Killed over 200 people, 7,000 injured, and 300,000 left homeless."- jshayya184
It Happens More Often Than We Realize
'I once witnessed a police shootout directly across the street from me."
"I remember my girlfriend at the time not having the good sense to duck out of the way so I had to grab her and drag her to the ground then into a doorway to stay out of the line of fire."- Factsaretheonlytruth
What A Tragedy
Was out for a walk with my family when a drive-by happened a few doors down."
"No one in the house was hurt, but an old man was jogging on the sidewalk and was killed by the shooting."
"Wrong place, wrong time."- EdithWhartonsFarts
Nightmares Come To Life
"When I was probably around 7 or 8 I had an overwhelming fear of being kidnapped to the point where I’d duck down in the backseat of the car so that anyone passing us wouldn’t see me."
"Yeah I know."
"So one day my brother and I rode with my mom to the bank to deposit some checks or whatever else she had to do."
"I was scared sh*tless of somebody opening up the car door and grabbing me."
"This older dude pulls up next to us, gets out of his car, and proceeds to walk over to cup his hands on the window to look into the car."
'I about sh*t my pants."- rkcorinth
So Many Questions
"I was out back at work smoking a cigarette and this spray-painted van rolled up right next to me asking if we were gonna use some paint cans left over from the remodel."
"When he rolled down his window I saw that he too was completely covered in spray paint."
"I told him I didn’t know if he could take them and I started walking away and the dude in the van followed right next to me with his door open talking to me and I freaked and f*cking ran."- devilshibata
Why You NEVER Play on Train Tracks
"So when I was 12, me and my friends thought it would be epic to climb up the side of a stopped train and go to the top."
"Once we got up there we gazed amongst the clouds, starred onto the city scapes, it felt so high up."
"Our hearts raced as we jumped over the 4 foot gaps in between train carts, we were high on life."
"My friends were in front of me jumping between carts, and suddenly as I was mid-air, the train jolted forward causing me to miss my jump and come crashing down tumbling in-between the train carts."
"I don't remember much about the fall, all I remember was that I smashed my head against something and then woke up moments later confused and in so much pain."
"So there I was, massive headache, confused as hell, under a slow but moving train, the under belly of the train just scraping against my back."
"I start to crawl my way out of the first space of the two carts but I realize I don't have time so I lay there contemplating whether I can crawl in-between the wheels of the length of the cart."
"I cant, it's too narrow, so I wait for the 2nd space in-between the next two carts for what felt like a life time."
"My heart was racing so fast, I was feeling light headed, I was in shock."
"As it approaches I start crawling, at this point the train is picking up speed so either I go now or I stay and pray to god nothing catches onto me and rips me to shreds."
"The opening approaches and I crawl over the rails. As I stumble over the rails I see the massive train wheel inches away from my legs."
"I made it out just barely."
"So close that the wheel caught my shoe and tore it up."
"But it wasn't over."
"After getting out from under the train, I take a deep breath of relief and stare up to the sky thinking 'holy f*ck I almost died'."
"Then I hear a loud horn, flip over and looked to my right."
"There was another oncoming train."
"There was another set of tracks."
"I realized I couldn't get up in time because of how fast that train was approaching, so I had no choice but to lay in the middle of the two trains and hope to god nothing bad happened."
"Scariest 5 minutes of my life."- mvfsullivan
"Someone tried to pull me into his car in Broad daylight in Southampton."- TheToyGirl
ALWAYS Tell Your Parents. ALWAYS.
"Got harassed by a grown man when I was 13."
"My local Wal-Mart used to have a McDonald's and my mom let me borrow her debit card to go and get a snack."
"I ordered and paid, this man, probably 40s, came up to the counter, smiled at me."
"I sort of ignored him."
"I had my mom's debit card in my hand and my hand resting on the counter."
"Her debit card had her photo on the back of it."
"He reached over and rotated my wrist and said, 'you look a lot younger in real life than in your photo'."
"I didn't know what to do so I stared at him and he chuckled at me, all the time holding me by the wrist."
"He grinned at me and said, 'what, do don't want to talk? You just want to eat? You like burgers?"
"Again, I was so scared I couldn't move, couldn't react."
"He was holding me by the wrist."
"So I just stared at him. He kept smirking and chuckling at me. "
"Then his friend came over and joined him, asked what he was doing. "
"Guy 1 says, 'trying to have a conversation with my young friend here but she doesn't seem very interested'."
"Guy 2 looked at me, looked at his friend holding me by the wrist...and he laughed. Said I obviously had good taste to ignore his friend."
"The whole time this is happening we're standing at the counter of this McDonalds and no one even noticed."
"Not one person saw a scared pre-teen girl being literally clutched by a grown man, kept in place by two."
"Finally my order was placed on the counter and I took the bag."
"The first man still hadn't let me go. "
"I told him, 'my mom is waiting, I have to go now'."
"And he tightened his grip."
"I was looking around, trying to find a way to be helped."
"I had lost my voice."
"I couldn't speak."
"I was so scared."
"And then I saw my mom through the crowd and called out for her."
"Guy 1 let go of me at once and he and his friend walked off."
"I ran to my mom."
"I didn't tell her what happened."
"I never have."
"I don't know why."- carmelacorleone
Always stay alert, no matter where you are, or the time of day.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.