I've got a decent amount of animals - some fish, turtles, dogs, etc. - but out of all of them, Optimus Prime is definitely *my* pet.
He's kind of a jerk to everyone else, but a with me he's a the biggest bestest beefaroni boy.
That is an outright lie, this dog is awfully behaved and taught himself how to open doors so he stays letting mosquitos in the house and air conditioning all of South Florida instead of just my living room. I just have a soft spot for him.
But here's the thing - soft spot or not, if someone offered me $50k for this dog, my reaction wouldn't be horror because I just love my "shmoopies" and even can't imagine. I'm not that privileged.
I grew up poor, believe me I've imagined $50k a lot. "Shmoops" might get voted off the island when $50k keeps your babies safe and housed. Relax, animal lovers. Optimus Prime is in no danger of going anywhere.
Nobody is tryna pay $50k to be headbutted and farted at all day.
That fact is precisely why my reaction to someone offering me cash for him would be straight up suspicion.
Optimus is a big beautiful male pit bull with so much muscle that he has abs on his butt.
He doesn't have any official papers, and he's fixed so he can't be used for breeding.
He's not a therapy dog and doesn't do any special tricks (on purpose) and in the time it took me to write this intro he farted so loudly that he scared himself awake and then got so excited by the sudden wake up that he did 3 bunny bounces. It's clear this would not be a high-skilled-labor kind of hire, ya know?
So why would someone want to spend that much money on this dog specifically?
Hmm?
GiphyI'd be suspicious that anyone willing to drop serious money on him was going to try to use his size and strength in dog fights and THAT is not gonna fly with me. Not a chance.
The person offering would have to convince me that they're willing to spend that much money on a giant dumb pit bull for some non-fighting reason and that he would have a dope life. Maybe I'd say yes because they sincerely believe he's the reincarnated spirit of their college bro who died in a horrific skiing accident, and they need to take him on a cross country road trip to fulfill the last thing on their bromantic bucket list?
Maybe.
Reddit user spondgbob asked:
"If someone offered you $50,000 to buy your pet, how would you respond?"
Here's what Reddit has to say.
Outside
"I'd tell them to meet me outside the local PetSmart in an hour and then rush there and buy a hamster or something."
"Kind of my only option since I don't have a pet."
- eleven_eighteen
"You sir, are playing 3D chess while the rest of us are all playing checkers."
- StillAll
GiphyIrrational Love
"Great question."
"Made me think for a second because my immediate answer is no but upon thinking about it, and how badly I need the money, the answer is still no."
"Irrational love is crazy."
- To_Fight_The_Night
"Same."
"I could desperately use that money and there's nothing special about my cats. Took a moment to realize it's completely irrational but I could never part with these idiots."
"The harder question after this is at what price point, if any, would you do it?"
- joyfall
Everything Has A Price
"Everything has a price, and they’re in luck that the price for my blind, deaf, arthritic dog happens to be $50k"
- DoctorDblYou
"I mean $50k is $50k."
- MinnesotaMiller
"Like I get that some people view pets as family, good for them. I don't, so as long as they weren't gonna torture the animal or something, then 100% would do it."
- avelak
Poo Problems
" 'You may have the one that runs from it's own poo after it sh*ts' "
- Blastin-Ass
"Had a cat get spooked while sh*tting... when it finished he managed to nuke 4 rooms :( "
- tuffymon
"I call what my dog does a 'poop-about.' "
"Like a walk-about, but she is pooping as she waddles around the yard sniffing rocks and stuff. She's a weird critter and I love her more than anything."
- cycloptopussy
"One of my earliest memory is having a blast farting in the bathtub... and then..."
"Don't make fun of your pet, your own poop can be very scary and we deserve love no less than more courageous creatures."
- RaccoonyDave·
GiphyBye
"Give it to them."
"I love my aquarium and fish in it. But I could build a sweet aquarium set up with $50k."
- Inner-Nothing7779
"Exactly! I wouldn't sell my dog but I'd give my aquariums away for 50k."
"One of them is a custom that a built a background for and I'd still give it away for 50k."
- RPC3
"Yeah, I would sell my cat in a heartbeat. Call me a narcissist I guess."
"Good thing I dont have kids."
- Maggy_Monster
$100k
"I'll take the $100,000 in cash."
"50k to give him to you and another 50k to take him back tomorrow when you've finally reached your limit and can't keep him anymore."
"My dog has his own spirit animal, and that spirit animal is a bag of dicks."
"My dog has separation anxiety and a powerful set of lungs."
"I have to drop him off at my mom's house on the way to work so he can be with someone familiar or else he'll be howling all day. He sounds like a dying bison."
"I'm talking loud enough to hear inside your house half a block away. While he's *inside* my house!"
- Tobias_Atwood
Medical Needs
"I'd sell."
"My kitty is old at this point and I worry now. Someone willing to pay $50k for her probably has the money to take care of medical needs that will be coming soon. That's money I dont have."
"I love her, she has been my family for 17 years now, but if she gets sick reality is I'm gonna have to get her put down probably. She'd have a better chance with someone rich to spoil her at the end."
- BlueClouds42
GiphySick Sh*t
"I'm shocked by everyone saying they'd do it?!"
"If someone is willing to pay that much, just imagine the sick sh*t they are planning on doing. No way I could live with myself."
"Would you sell your kid? You can get a lot more than 50k for one of them..."
"I have a hard time believing someone willing to sell a dog for a 'lot of money' wouldn't be tempted to or actually sell a child."
"It's alooooot of money for children, so if money is the motivator...."
- Pepperclue_55
Little Napoleon
"Couldn't sell."
"My a$$hole cat is a jerk, but family. Though I would expect a lot of push to sell him since he is mean to everyone with only rare moments of niceness."
"Plus they whoever got him would likely kill him."
"He is allergic to fish, can't wear a collar even a breakaway one (somehow almost strangled himself twice), sits in the middle of the road if he escapes, eats the random stuff on the ground, randomly attacks people (full on claws, teeth- goes for the veins usually breaks skin and causes a bruise), has diseases, and goes after other animals in the house regardless of size."
"I hate it and get mad at my boyfriend every time he says it, but he jokes that natural selection is trying its best with my cat. He's kind of right."
"He is untrainable and awful, but incredibly cute and everyone wants to pet him (but quickly learn not to go near him.) At least he does not attack kids 5 and under though."
"I wanted to name him lil Napoleon as he is perpetually ready for a battle and a short legged munchkin. I took him in from my sister but couldn't change his name so it became my nickname for him."
- Wolfling
Get Over It
"It is a beta fish that we have had for six days. The kids are currently celebrating it still being alive because they accidentally killed our first fish in about six hours."
"Suffice to say, I’m pretty sure we can get them over it."
"Yes please on the $50,000."
- NurmGurpler
A Pet Is A Pet
"Only pet I have is a single bug."
"Tanks for the moneys. Enjoy your pet fly."
- QuillWellington
"Time to buy a pet dog!"
- EnderEagle420
"Is its name Randall? Randall seems like a good name for a fly"
- therockethornet
Daddy Herman
"I have a daddy-long-legs in a corner of the garage that I've nicknamed Herman, does that count as a pet?"
- TerraVerdigris
"More than what I have. Tell Herman I said hi"
- ItsLegitCraft
"Can someone start a sub for Herman? I feel there is a community here."
- horny4tacos
"I had 2 daddy-long-legs in my bathroom for weeks. They got quite big. Fred and Wilbur. I came in 1 day and Fred was killing Wilbur. Not cool man. Not cool."
- LogicalFallacy77
"Bro don’t sell Herman wtf"
- rich_white_kid
Daddy Long Legs Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyHow Bout...No!
"Well he’s 13. He’s cost us well over 10k in medical bills in that time. At most he has 2 years left. And that’s optimistic."
"So, all things considered, I’d tell them to go f*ck themselves."
"Same. Mine is 14 and such a crotchety ass hat. But I love him more than anything in the whole world and I would fight to keep him with me"
- lonelytrees516
"I believe this is what unconditional love is."
- mr-emery
No Way Kid GIF by MOODMANGiphyF' You And Your Money.
"F*ck you and that money."
- Allenrw3
"Just the right amount of appropriate and poetic."
- stolpie
"My first thought as well."
"My bearded dragon is special needs and if someone wants to pay that much for her i am sure it would be a death sentence. so, no."
- bunnyrut
"Yup, it’s like selling a family member, makes me just wanna say 'f*ck you'."
- MechTitan
"I mean I'd sooner sell some of my family members."
- DOLCICUS
Pet Rock
"I've got a pet rock let me get him from outside for ya."
- darcreaven
"Outside? Mines housebroken... I can probably get 75k for it"
- runningwaffles19
"Your pet rock is probably in your POH menagerie."
- GrosseTuque
season 8 episode 3 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphyNo.. But Why?
" 'LOL why?'."
"One of my dogs is terrified of everything, including house plants, ceiling fans, wind in the trees, invisible greebles, and sometimes her own food bowl. I’m told that when I leave the room she follows me as far as she can and then stands around looking awkward until I come back. So I can’t imagine why anyone would pay that sum of money to take on that level of neuroses."
"The other dog I could see someone wanting, but she’s still a shelter mutt with no sense of personal space and nuclear farts. So…. Why?"
"The answer is no either way, but I’d love to hear their reasoning."
"Decline and research more about my pet to see why would somebody offer that much for a pet"
- FaithlessnessOk1530
"ohhh! 200 IQ response!"
- vegdeg
"I mean, maybe my pet could be working for the government beating up a scientist who is mistaken for a pharmacist and makes inventions that are so genius but his stupidity makes them fail."
- FaithlessnessOk1530
"This was my exact thought"
- disrunner93
Time to be honest with yourself—would you do it?
What would your reaction be?
Let's argue in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Since silent films began, we have been inundated with love story after love story, where happily ever afters are easily doled out.
Pop culture has molded the idea of romance and pleasure for everyone... just around the riverbend, it seems.
And guess what?
It's all a lie.
Sorry, that came off as bitter.
Actually, I'm not sorry. I am bitter.
Damn you, Julia Roberts, for the unrealistic expectations you've passed on to us through all your movies.
Redditor dwightanddilbert wanted to discuss and dig into the truth about how we've been duped on matters of the heart and lust, so they asked:
"What’s the biggest lie pop culture taught us about sex and romance?"
I learned long ago to give up on the movie love dream. But they're still fun to watch.
Being Real
bad romance....Giphy"That love is easy and relationships will have romance just fall into your lap if it's meant to be. Real life is not a movie and it gives people a very wrong image of what a healthy relationship looks like."
trevmc1
Happily Now...
"That there is a point you reach where you get your Happily Ever After. Then you just get to coast. That's not how relationships work - it's not the moment he tells you at the NYE party how he loves that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out or when you get married in a big ballgown."
"It's all the little moments, the everyday caring, the small affections and the avoidances of trust pitfalls. They add up to a Happily Now. But there's not a point you can hang your hat up and say, 'Okay. I got this marriage thing sorted out. Now I get to do whatever I want.'"
Carl__Gordon_Jenkins
“What about sleep?!?!”
"That we’re supposed to have long sex sessions. Honestly a good 15-20 mins is pretty good for me."
ItsMeThereHair
"When I was 20ish I was in a car with a few coworkers. A couple of them got to talking about longest active session. The girl was 18 hours and the guy said 24 hours."
"All I could think was 'what about sleep?!?!' ( I’ve always loved sleeping). At the time I was with my now hubby and back then we were more the under 5 minute get the job done types. Now we appreciate longer sessions but I’m ready to tap out at 20 minutes. If we get to 45, he’s out of luck."
Environmental-Car481
Know the Difference
"Persistence usually isn't romantic. It's usually creepy."
Pissed_Off_Pacifist
"Yep, thanks for mentioning it. I wasted many, many years pursuing that one guy I thought was the one. His friends liked me. He made compliments on my looks and on my skills. Everything seemed promising, so why didn't it turn out the way I wanted?"
"Well, surprisingly, some people just aren't romantically interested in you, no matter how much work you put into it. So easy to understand, but so hard to accept. Neither my stubbornness nor a miracle could turn the friendship we had into a relationship. Plus, I must've seemed desperate, which is unattractive as hell."
"It's okay to take your time, but it's also necessary to know when move on. Really just better for everyone."
OneGhastlyGhoul
Shut Up!
Disney Wedding GIFGiphy"For the love of God, DO NOT interrupt a wedding. It will not go how you think it will."
dcbluestar
"As a joke at our friend's wedding some girl stood up and said wait. Literally every head turned around so fast and although it was known to the bride and groom as a joke I think everyone was thinking wtf and she was about as red as a tomato."
Kyell
The drama queen in me knows it would be wrong, but who wouldn't love to witness a wedding interruption?!?!
Magic
Anne Hathaway Actors On Actors GIF by PBS SoCalGiphy"If you just take off your glasses and put your hair down, you'll be Anne Hathaway."
Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Gross Truth
"That there's no such thing as clean up afterwards. Everyone just has a slight, post-coital, glisten and that's about as far as it goes. No awkward wet waddle. No wet spot on the mattress that gets cold way too quickly so you both bend your bodies around it so you can still snuggle without touching it."
"No sex towel that probably should've been washed about two weeks ago and is getting to the point where it might make a worthy substitute for a crowbar with how stiff it is."
"Oh, and if you do it in a horror movie, you're 100% gonna die."
ACalcifiedHeart
Calm Down
"That sex always has to be very serious and profound. And I don't mean serious as in commitment, but as in how we behave. Some of the best sex I have ever had has involved cracking jokes."
Needydadthrowaway
"Or sleepy sex where the nights too late but you both just want to crank it out and sleep."
hogtiedcantalope
It can work...
"Opposites attract."
chingudo
"This is actually really untrue. While it is possible, and also, in my opinion, really rare for opposites to attract, they definitely do not a majority of the time. We tend to fall for people who are like-minded to us. People who have similar values, morals, thoughts, etc... to us."
AwesomeKitty6842
"So I married an opposite. Has not been easy but I think has been really good for both of us overall. That being said if it ever fell apart I would 100% look for someone more like me. Everything, and I mean everything, is a lot of work and requires so much communication between us."
notgreatnotbadsoso
Get a Chance
Brendon Urie Flirt GIF by Panic! At The DiscoGiphy"Two extremes:"
"1- If you're a stalker, they'll eventually give you a chance."
"2- If you're the nice guy/the best friend, they'll eventually give you a chance."
"#2 messed me up for a very long time."
plasma_dan
Lesson learned. Never trust the love stories in pop culture.
And fairytales lie!!
Being single is not a crime.
It can in fact be a super power.
Alone, with no one to hold you down.
But no matter how powerful, you still have to explain why you can't find a partner.
Like, why are you so emotionally deficient you can't find someone to care about you?
It's all a mess no matter the answer.
So let's hear from the singles best of the best.
Redditor XqueezeMePlease wanted to hear the answers about why they do life alone, so they asked:
"What to respond when someone asks 'Why are you still single?'"
Single and unloveable.
That's my Tinder title.
Too much?
Truth
The Gregory Brothers Writing It Down GIF by VidConGiphy"'Because I have raging personality flaws that I'm unwilling to work on.'"
"Usually prevents any follow up questions."
cesar_chris
"As a couple"
"'Have you seen the economy!?'"
YuuHikari
"In this economy?? Hahaha but I know people that live together 'as a couple' just because is cheaper then separate. I live in Brazil, but I know Brazilians in Portugal that live in 3 couples in a small 3 bedroom condo, just because 6 peoples working to share a rent is the only way to make the month."
aldeboy
Stay Calm
"Social anxiety."
Ornery_Bug_4108
"Yeh, too anxious to talk even approach and even then I know that while I am trying to manage it, I don’t feel like I’m loveable or attractive because of it, but of course that could be the dysthymia talking. So why bother, I’ve just been learning how to be by myself seeing as that’s where things are heading."
SayJose
Let's Date
"I don't meet people (who could be potential partners), and I think more and more that I am not a 'date' type of person."
visnjapile
"You missed the arranged marriage era it might have worked out for you, perhaps you could borrow someone’s overbearing Mother to find you a match."
Cryptoglue
"I have a couple of coworkers, one is Bangladeshi, the other is Indian. Their parents were like 'times are changing, you can marry for love if you want and we'll support you' and my coworkers were like 'wtf, you mean I'd have to DATE? F**k that, please find me a husband.'"
"Anyway one is now happily married and the other is constantly roasting her dad because he keeps offering her deadbeats riding on their dad's coattails."
Halospite
Picky
Alicia Silverstone Cherilyn Horowitz GIF by filmeditorGiphy"Go full on Cher from Clueless: 'You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!'"
AlanaByrd
God Bless 'Clueless.'
Drama!
Braxton Family Values Drama GIF by WE tvGiphy"Because I'd rather be alone and happy than dealing with someone else’s f**kin’ work drama and emotional problems. LOL."
Schnozzletov
"Being in a relationship seems so exhausting, I've been single for several years now and have absolutely no urge to date."
arrjaay
MY MONEY!!
"Why not?"
xepci0
"That’s basically my response when my extended family asks this. They all have that small town, hurry up and settle down mentality, and are ALWAYS on my case about being single with no kids whenever I visit. Took me far too long to realize some of them are actually jealous. My money is MY MONEY. My time is MY TIME. I don’t have to confer with anyone before making a decision."
Thesqueegeable
I live alone...
"I tell the truth. I'm shy and don't really meet new people. I've not added to my friend group, aside from partners of existing friends, in about 20 years. At work I have acquaintances from work - they're nice people but I don't communicate with them outside of work. I live alone, I work mainly alone, I don't have any hobbies or interest groups."
Shi*BritGit
Tragedy
"Dating in your 30s and 40s is either a game of 'Find the fault or tragedy' or taking on being a step-parent. I really don’t want to deal with either. My tragedy is I worked 10-16 hours a day, six days a week from 20-38, and it ruined two long-term relationships. Retired at 40, no regrets.FortyandDone
"It is hard to meet people in their 40s without kids or horrible issues! I actually got really lucky and found someone on tinder of all places lol. It took a year though. When I was single I didn’t have a lot of people ask me why. But I have resting b*tch face so maybe that was a factor. lol."
tnicole1976
Thank you, Next...
Flying Kiss Flirting GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I'd take it as a compliment as that means you don't have any obvious bad qualities that would make you undatable to them. Nobody would ever ask me that question lol as there are many obvious reasons they could come up with."
Hatedbythemasses
Being single isn't the worst.
Do you have any reasons why being single is a positive? Let us know in the comments below.
Let's face it, when emotions are running high and something important is at stake, we're bound to make mistakes and either say or do the wrong thing.
This might even be especially true of parents.
But even if our angriest and most vulnerable moments, there are things we should never, ever say to a child.
Redditor son_of_x asked:
"What are things parents should never say to their children?"
Exposure Therapy
"Don’t make your kids do the things you’re afraid to face."
"When I was a kid, my mom dumped all that s**t on me. Rent was late? I had to face the landlord. She’d try to convince me it was a fun game, like see how fast you can run to his door, drop a check in the mail slot, and run back to the car."
"Even at ten years old, I knew it wasn’t a d**n game. All she was doing was transferring her anxiety directly to me."
"Be honest with your kid about the s**tty situations you might be in, but don’t make them carry the weight in your place."
- Ineedyoursway
They're to Blame
"NEVER tell a child that the divorce is their fault."
- ashabranch
"I remember back when I was like 10, my mom didn’t take me to school one morning because she was upset that the clothes in my dresser weren’t folded."
"My dad had to take me to school instead. And on the way there, he yelled, 'You’re tearing this family apart!’"
"I’m like... Bro, if unfolded clothes in a dresser are what tears this family apart, then you all have other sh*t to be concerned about."
- _mike_hunt
Life: Ruined
"'Having you ruined my life,' is the worst I ever heard."
- Tough_Stretch
No Accountability
"'I don't remember that, that never happened!' when a kid brings up a past trauma."
- dafrstofus
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) [96] is the healthiest human I know with the caveat that she has the usual ailments that affect old arteries, etc. She has three sons, my Dear Husband (70), a slightly older, quasi-celebrity brother, and a younger brother. They work like animals. They can’t help it, although they should try."
"Every single time my husband brings up a childhood memory, my MIL rebuffs it by saying the incident he’s recalling never happened. No one’s allowed to have a memory but her."
"It drives my husband (and me) up a wall. We live fairly close to her, but he struggles so much with spending time with her because of this."
"She just tells him, 'That’s not true.' Instead of embracing what he and they remember, she shuts them down."
- l31l4j4d3
Controlling Diet
"My mom stuck me on this super restrictive diet when I was 11. The entire diet was the whole reason I struggled with eating disorders in my childhood."
"I brought it up in therapy at 17 and at first, she claimed it never happened. Then she remembered talking to doctors about my weight, then googling diets for children, and then putting me on a diet sounded like something she would've done... but it still didn't happen."
"Gotta love her. But, to be honest, I can't even say I love my mom."
"I was the neglected child as she had four other kids, and I'm the middle one. After some point, I stopped wanting my mom's approval for anything."
"I actually had my therapist ask me what a good mother-daughter relationship would look like to me if we were to ever get close, and I honestly couldn't answer."
"It's weird to think that the one thing I wanted my entire childhood, I don't want now. At least not with my biological mother."
"My boyfriend's mom, on the other hand, is amazing, and I love the mother-daughter-like relationship we have. I'm still in awe that I even found a family that loves me as if I were their biological kid."
- pumpkinthighs
Whose Opinion?
"Your opinion doesn’t matter."
"That one still haunts me and is the reason I never speak up."
- TapReasonable2678
Foster Care Warnings
"Threaten to send them to live in foster care if they don't do what the parent wants. My mother used to use that threat if she saw me picking my nose. I didn't realize how f**ked up that was until I was an adult."
- adeon
"I remember my mom doing this. That I need to just stay in my room and be quiet, or she'd send me away. F**ked me up, man. I was probably around six."
- Substantial_Part_952
Body-Shaming
"This is kind of a low bar as far as bad things my parents did goes (they also hit us for far dumber reasons than not eating our food)."
"When I was a kid, my parents were very controlling. Now, that meant, among other things, that they didn't let me go outside, for fear that neighbor kids would wander by and I'd hear things that went against my parents' ideologies. It also meant that they controlled exactly what and how much I ate. As in, if I didn't want to clean my plate, I was beaten."
"Well, I was also a fat kid, and given how much control I had over both my food intake and the exercise I could do (since I couldn't go outside), I didn't have much say in the matter."
"My parents gave me so much s**t about it over the years, though. Like, even if you were allowed to have some agency in your life, you shouldn't get that kind of s**t. It was pretty miserable."
"Anyway, when I went away to college, I was finally on my own, and I took charge of that. Everybody was warning me about the freshman 15, but I was looking at my intake. That's not great of course, but I lost a couple of pounds. Not even that much."
"And then I went back home for winter break, and my parents were all, 'Oh, you're too thin, you need to eat more,' and I was like, 'No, I'm good, thanks.' At one point, my dad said, 'Eat more or I'm kicking you out of my house.'"
"And so I gained that weight back over the break, and by the end, they were back to giving me s**t about it."
"So, I dunno. Maybe don't be such a d**k about your kid's weight. Certainly not with demands and expectations that oscillate between two extremes like they did."
- Aperture_T
Mind Games
"'Until you start paying bills, you have no rights, so you’re d**n right I’m coming into your room whenever I feel like it, and I can take anything I want from it, too, because it’s actually mine.'"
"'You’re too stupid and lazy to be able to make it in the real world. And if someone ever did hire you, they’d fire you as soon as they realized what a mistake they’d made.'"
"'You have no idea how much you cost me. I could do X, Y, or Z things if I didn’t always have to pay for your crap.'"
"'We’re free thinkers in this house,' but then rages when I express a thought/opinion that’s different than theirs."
"'You’re just a kid, what do you have to be depressed about?' or 'You have nothing to be depressed about.'"
"After I told a doctor how I was actually feeling, they said, 'You can’t be that stressed, you’re just a kid! Are you trying to make me look like a bad parent?!'"
"Yes, I’m in therapy now."
- Ki-Larah
Useless
"Don't tell kids they're useless. The variant I used to get from Dad was posed as a question, 'Are you good for ANYTHING?!'"
" I mean, how was eight-year-old me supposed to answer that?"
"High school valedictorian, graduated from one of the US services academies, have a good, steady career, and live 2000 miles from where I grew up (wonder why?). But I was more into reading than outdoor sports, hunting, or working in our garden all summer, so not 'manly' enough for him at the time."
"It took until my mid-50s before we became close, and he passed away two months ago. Lots of wasted time."
- JEFFinSoCal
Intentional Provocation
"My dad antagonizing me purposely and then saying, 'dOn'T bE sO sEnSiTiVe,' when I get upset about the s**t he says."
- LianOLis
An Important Reminder
"Moms, stop criticizing your body in front of your daughters!!"
- buceethevampslayer
"Seriously! My mother would say that she hated her body and that we looked 'so alike' in the same breath, it was very damaging."
- 97ratsinatrenchcoat
Comparison Culture
"Comparing them to others, talking about their weight, focusing on the negatives or their wrongdoings, constantly dismissing them, unwilling to hear their opinions because of the 'I'm right, you're wrong' mentality."
"There's so much."
- The_gentle_one
Confusing Lessons
"Always punishing and complaining about what you shouldn't do, but never saying or rewarding what you should."
- RoDeltaR
The Perfect Rebuttal
"'I brought you into this world. I can take you out of it,' was my mom's favorite."
- belle254
"What I wish I would have said back: 'No, you can't. You'd be arrested, and the world would view you as a monster and a psychopath.'"
- Narren_C
While parenting carries with it a lot of demands, there are certain things that absolutely should not be done, including statements that should never be uttered.
It's clear the damaging impact they have when they are used. Avoid them at all cost.
Not all knowledge is power.
Some knowledge is straight-up horror-inducing.
I mean, I suppose it's good to know as much bad stuff as possible so we can try to avoid it all.
Redditor Possible_Hawk495 wanted to hear about all of the worst possible things in life, so they asked:
"What is a disturbing fact you wish you never knew?"
I'm not sure I'm ready for this...
"WARNING - The following is not for the faint of heart or anyone under 17. Or anyone with a pulse probably..."
Preferences
Whitney Houston Reaction GIFGiphy"It's illegal in India to find out the gender of your baby, because so many prefer boys over girls."
dont_u_know
"Just like China, they don't think long term enough about it."
Rock_of_Spaces
While You Were Sleeping
"That one can be aware they are in coma and not able to get out of it. I get anxious just thinking about it."
tooshyforreddit
"I’ve been in a coma, it’s different experiences based on the conditions, I believe. I was in it when I had multiple organ failure when I was 22."
"Even though you’re aware, I wouldn’t equate my experience to being fully aware and stuck. It kind of feels like when you wake up from a very very deep nap, and things seem fuzzy. Weirdly enough being in that state for a few week was some of the most peaceful my body ever felt being honest."
JelloisYummy
Horrifying
"Just how painful and torturous extreme radiation sickness is."
Scarfs-Fur-Frumpkin
"Between that video and the scene in HBO’s Chernobyl where the firefighter is screaming for help in the hospital as his skin falls off, I have learned not to be too cavalier about the use of nuclear armaments or nuclear safety."
aspidities_87
The usual suspects...
"After any significant natural disaster or conflict starts up, human traffickers swarm to the country looking for unattended children. Law enforcement will start watching ports of entry for the usual suspects... the usual suspects."
Ausramm
Good Lord
Red Carpet Teeth GIF by Recording Academy / GRAMMYsGiphy"A toddler's adult teeth are right below their eyes."
SuvenPan
"Yeah, I saw a photograph of a small child's skull with part of the area around the jaw removed and it's just packed with teeth."
CRtwenty
My teeth were where? OMG!
From the Inside
"Tarantula hawks are giant flying wasps that sting tarantulas, inducing paralysis. They then drag the paralyzed tarantula back to their nest and lay eggs in them. The eggs hatch, and the larvae slowly devour the still-alive, paralyzed tarantula from the inside."
GlassHalfFullofAcid
Fatality
"Rabies. Just everything about rabies."
spade13F
"Once you're symptomatic, 99.99% fatality rate and that 'lucky' iota that survive in medically-induced comas end up with permanent neurological damage. Also, the horrifying hallucinations."
Tiny_Parfait
"Rabies is pretty interesting. if you are vaccinated then it's 100% preventable, if not your chance of dying is 99.9%."
Unaccounted_fart
After the Hatch
"I remember watching an episode of the show Monsters Inside Me where this 16-year-old kid was doing something outside and a fly flew into his eye. It only made contact for about a microsecond, but it was enough time for it to lay eggs. After they hatched they started eating his eye from the inside and he was starting to go blind until a doctor finally figured out what was wrong."
"Just imagine that, getting your eye eaten from the inside and losing your sight all because a fly very briefly made contact with you. Ever since I learned about this I get really paranoid when there is a fly around my face because of the fact that this could possibly happen to me."
-eDgAR-
The Spine Attack
"A guy I used to work with had either a condition or got a virus (I don't remember which, this was about 20 years ago) that attacked his spine; he went to bed fine and woke up the next day totally paralyzed from the waist down. He spent the rest of his life in a wheelchair. There was no slow progression, just walking fine one day and completely unable to walk the next."
"I just looked up his obituary (he passed in 2011) he apparently had Transverse Myelitis that led him to become paralyzed."
A911owner
Put it Back
Giphy"Seems obvious when you think about it, but after an autopsy, they don't put everything back where they found it. It goes in a bag in the abdominal cavity."
clevebeat
Well I'll never sleep again.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.