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Psychologists Imagine How They Would Diagnose God Based On The Bible

Dear God... let's chat.

Psychologists Imagine How They Would Diagnose God Based On The Bible

Reddiotr IvLiv wondered what would you say to God as mental health professional by asking...

Psychologists of Reddit, if you had God as a patient, how would you diagnose him based on his actions described in the Bible?

Highway Choices.


"You want it your way or the highway..... to hell."


A Little Chat First. 

"I asked a psychologist (and very religious) friend something similar to this once. Her response?"

"A general rule of psychology with few exceptions is to not diagnose a patient you've never even had a conversation with. It doesn't matter what actions you can see. Or what accounts you're given. Or even the writings left behind. Trying to diagnose someone sight unseen is sloppy."

"She ranked it on par with those posts you see all over reddit or Facebook or Tumblr where people will diagnose fictional characters with tons of mental disorders. It's a fun thought exercise, but that's the best it could be."

"Usually it's just obnoxious to see someone claim that every personality quirk a hero displays is actually a symptom of their autism/ADHD/ PTSD/ manic- depressive disorder."

"The anthropologist in me also would like to add that many disorders are culturally defined and that we cannot assume a non-human entity would have the same psychology as a human. It's too anthropomorphic. Maybe everything God does is actually completely normal for a God, and a God that acts more rational by human standards would be the one with the mental disorder."

"Now is this all a long winded way to avoid answering the question? Yes it is. But I still found it worth a thought."


The Cosmics....

"Cosmic vanity."

"He created an entire planet of life for the sole purpose of worshiping him and living by his doctrine."

"Also psychopath."


Where to Begin.

"Floods? Plagues? Telling his followers to murder their sons? Sending his own son to Earth so he can be crucified? Sending people that don't follow his random rules to hell to be tortured for eternity? Psychopath anyone?"


The "Experiment"


"I'm not a psychologist but I've read the entire bible. Dude sounds like a massive narcissist with a superiority complex. He literally created humans just to praise and worship him. And whenever they slip up, eternal torture. Just for the lolz I guess."

"Another theory is that the God of the bible is like a kid stomping on ants for fun, and essentially the whole world is his fun "experiment." This one makes a bit more sense, imo. XD"


Severe Behavior. 

"Homicidal maniac."


"Crap man, I respect your decisions, but she ate an APPLE my guy."


Forget Diagnosis...

Screw diagnosis, dude would be getting some serious meds right away. (Not a psychologist, but you make a bear kill 42 kids for teasing a bald guy, there's issues)."


No Need to Punish. 

"A narcissist with an emphasis on abuse. The relationship between follower and God mimics spousal abuse to a T. No matter how horrible God treats his followers, they all claim they deserve the punishment he gives as it is their fault and God does it because he loves them. If only they were better then he wouldn't need to punish them."




"Reprehensible bully with seriously toxic jealousy."


"I'm an actual psychologist. God would have the first legit case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka "Multiple Personalities") given how many authors have written as "Him" over the last 6,000 years."


He's batty and insane.

"Antisocial personality disorder. He's batty and insane."


"Been there. I've had so many clients tell me that they're God."

"So probably schizophrenia."


How Meta.


"God complex."


"Meta question, if you are able to diagnose God, could you even diagnose him with his an illness named after him."

"Like, could you diagnose Narcissus with narcissistic personality disorder?"


Wink. Wink. 

"I see what you did there God I am not falling for that I want to go to heaven."


"1000 IQ God trying to catch people slipping."


"Yeah good thing I would only diagnose God with being good wink wink."


"Abraham put that knife down right now."

"The old testament makes God look like a psycho, but I sometimes wonder if it might not have gone down something like this:"

"Abraham put that knife down right now."

"But Lord, you commanded me to sacrifice my son --"

"I keep telling you, the voices you hear after eating those mushrooms that grow on the riverbank aren't me."


So erratic. 

"Bipolar, just any time I read the damn thing and god is involved I just think "he has bipolar." Jesus is pretty chill though except when he cursed the fig tree for all eternity for not having any figs. God on the other hand is just unpredictably erratic."


Darn Kids.

"Disappointed in his kids."


"Haha. So disappointed that he allows them to die in completely avoidable situations and condemns them to hell."


"delusions of grandeur"

"Probably an unpopular post, but: nothing."

"A key criteria for diagnosing someone for most things is that the problem needs to cause "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."

"It's an important step for dismissing false positives--that's why someone who spends their weekends dressing up like a dog is one thing, but a person who shows up at work to pee on everything and howl at the moon has issues."

"Considering that, at least insofar as the Bible is concerned, God has absolutely no distress or impairment, it would be pretty hard to justify diagnosing him with something."

"I mean, would you diagnose the Queen of England with "delusions of grandeur" because she insists that she's the Queen of England? Probably not. Same thing here, just on a bigger scale."


The Bottom of the barrel...

""Psychotic depression from his profound loneliness, and we are his resultant psychosis.


"Like, for real. You're an all powerful, all knowing entity born out of nothing, and all that surrounds you is dark vast nothingness. Of course you'd go insane, you want to see anything, have a purpose. So you make humans. Modeled after the only thing you've ever known, yourself. If God is real, maybe we are just his own delirium."


Which Book?

"It really depends on which book of the Bible you're reading. I feel God in the New Testament was probably when the drugs started kicking in and he wasn't so angry anymore. Either that or he had a well-hidden Alcohol Use Disorder early on (drunk on power?) but he straightened up once he had a kid."


The Litany. 

"If you look at it like a relationship, he's an abuser. Look at the signs.

• "always "testing" you""

• "doesn't want you to associate with people He doesn't accept and will shut you from His kingdom if you do so"

• wants your complete dedication at any cost to you""

• ""demands you do things because "He loves you"

• ""has a plan for you that you have no say in

• you are not allowed to do a great number of things or He'll smite you; however unless you literally beg for forgiveness, to hell with you"

• "creates a perfect being (Satan) and then says if you do anything like that guy, you are bad."

"The guy is a disaster. So many people are in an abusive relationship with someone that doesn't even exist."


You're Crazy. That's All.


"ITT: the general consensus seems to be sociopathic malignant narcissist with extreme anger issues and major bipolar disorder with a history of close relations abuse, with a possibility of borderline personality disorder."


These are some interesting theories. Do you have something to share? Let us know in the comments below.

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People Who Actually Died And Were Revived Share Their Experiences

"Reddit user AlaskaStiletto asked: 'Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?'"

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."


"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."


Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314


"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.