Reddiotr IvLiv wondered what would you say to God as mental health professional by asking...
Psychologists of Reddit, if you had God as a patient, how would you diagnose him based on his actions described in the Bible?
A Little Chat First.
"I asked a psychologist (and very religious) friend something similar to this once. Her response?"
"A general rule of psychology with few exceptions is to not diagnose a patient you've never even had a conversation with. It doesn't matter what actions you can see. Or what accounts you're given. Or even the writings left behind. Trying to diagnose someone sight unseen is sloppy."
"She ranked it on par with those posts you see all over reddit or Facebook or Tumblr where people will diagnose fictional characters with tons of mental disorders. It's a fun thought exercise, but that's the best it could be."
"Usually it's just obnoxious to see someone claim that every personality quirk a hero displays is actually a symptom of their autism/ADHD/ PTSD/ manic- depressive disorder."
"The anthropologist in me also would like to add that many disorders are culturally defined and that we cannot assume a non-human entity would have the same psychology as a human. It's too anthropomorphic. Maybe everything God does is actually completely normal for a God, and a God that acts more rational by human standards would be the one with the mental disorder."
"Now is this all a long winded way to avoid answering the question? Yes it is. But I still found it worth a thought."
The Cosmics....
"Cosmic vanity."
"He created an entire planet of life for the sole purpose of worshiping him and living by his doctrine."
"Also psychopath."
Where to Begin.
"Floods? Plagues? Telling his followers to murder their sons? Sending his own son to Earth so he can be crucified? Sending people that don't follow his random rules to hell to be tortured for eternity? Psychopath anyone?"
The "Experiment"
Giphy"I'm not a psychologist but I've read the entire bible. Dude sounds like a massive narcissist with a superiority complex. He literally created humans just to praise and worship him. And whenever they slip up, eternal torture. Just for the lolz I guess."
"Another theory is that the God of the bible is like a kid stomping on ants for fun, and essentially the whole world is his fun "experiment." This one makes a bit more sense, imo. XD"
Severe Behavior.
"Homicidal maniac."
"Crap man, I respect your decisions, but she ate an APPLE my guy."
Forget Diagnosis...
Screw diagnosis, dude would be getting some serious meds right away. (Not a psychologist, but you make a bear kill 42 kids for teasing a bald guy, there's issues)."
No Need to Punish.
"A narcissist with an emphasis on abuse. The relationship between follower and God mimics spousal abuse to a T. No matter how horrible God treats his followers, they all claim they deserve the punishment he gives as it is their fault and God does it because he loves them. If only they were better then he wouldn't need to punish them."
Toxic.
Giphy"Reprehensible bully with seriously toxic jealousy."
"I'm an actual psychologist. God would have the first legit case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka "Multiple Personalities") given how many authors have written as "Him" over the last 6,000 years."
He's batty and insane.
"Antisocial personality disorder. He's batty and insane."
"Been there. I've had so many clients tell me that they're God."
"So probably schizophrenia."
How Meta.
Giphy"God complex."
mkkart
"Meta question, if you are able to diagnose God, could you even diagnose him with his an illness named after him."
"Like, could you diagnose Narcissus with narcissistic personality disorder?"
Mavikiu
Wink. Wink.
"I see what you did there God I am not falling for that I want to go to heaven."
Ikon701
"1000 IQ God trying to catch people slipping."
ogprichard
"Yeah good thing I would only diagnose God with being good wink wink."
quavo-fan
"Abraham put that knife down right now."
"The old testament makes God look like a psycho, but I sometimes wonder if it might not have gone down something like this:"
"Abraham put that knife down right now."
"But Lord, you commanded me to sacrifice my son --"
"I keep telling you, the voices you hear after eating those mushrooms that grow on the riverbank aren't me."
I_throw_socks_at_cat
So erratic.
"Bipolar, just any time I read the damn thing and god is involved I just think "he has bipolar." Jesus is pretty chill though except when he cursed the fig tree for all eternity for not having any figs. God on the other hand is just unpredictably erratic."
ElephantsOnTurtle
Darn Kids.
"Disappointed in his kids."
fermat1432
"Haha. So disappointed that he allows them to die in completely avoidable situations and condemns them to hell."
LATER4LUS
"delusions of grandeur"
"Probably an unpopular post, but: nothing."
"A key criteria for diagnosing someone for most things is that the problem needs to cause "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."
"It's an important step for dismissing false positives--that's why someone who spends their weekends dressing up like a dog is one thing, but a person who shows up at work to pee on everything and howl at the moon has issues."
"Considering that, at least insofar as the Bible is concerned, God has absolutely no distress or impairment, it would be pretty hard to justify diagnosing him with something."
"I mean, would you diagnose the Queen of England with "delusions of grandeur" because she insists that she's the Queen of England? Probably not. Same thing here, just on a bigger scale."
PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING
The Bottom of the barrel...
""Psychotic depression from his profound loneliness, and we are his resultant psychosis.
crossedword
"Like, for real. You're an all powerful, all knowing entity born out of nothing, and all that surrounds you is dark vast nothingness. Of course you'd go insane, you want to see anything, have a purpose. So you make humans. Modeled after the only thing you've ever known, yourself. If God is real, maybe we are just his own delirium."
ague_doctor
Which Book?
"It really depends on which book of the Bible you're reading. I feel God in the New Testament was probably when the drugs started kicking in and he wasn't so angry anymore. Either that or he had a well-hidden Alcohol Use Disorder early on (drunk on power?) but he straightened up once he had a kid."
vampedvixen
The Litany.
"If you look at it like a relationship, he's an abuser. Look at the signs.
• "always "testing" you""
• "doesn't want you to associate with people He doesn't accept and will shut you from His kingdom if you do so"
• wants your complete dedication at any cost to you""
• ""demands you do things because "He loves you"
• ""has a plan for you that you have no say in
• you are not allowed to do a great number of things or He'll smite you; however unless you literally beg for forgiveness, to hell with you"
• "creates a perfect being (Satan) and then says if you do anything like that guy, you are bad."
"The guy is a disaster. So many people are in an abusive relationship with someone that doesn't even exist."
my_hat_is_fat
You're Crazy. That's All.
Giphy"ITT: the general consensus seems to be sociopathic malignant narcissist with extreme anger issues and major bipolar disorder with a history of close relations abuse, with a possibility of borderline personality disorder."
weretomato
These are some interesting theories. Do you have something to share? Let us know in the comments below.
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People who've had bad encounters with someone they've never met shared their experiences when Redditor Jemuzu8304 asked:
"Whats the most f'ked up thing a complete stranger has done to you?"
Drivers and passengers recall their rude interactions.
The Prank
"One time I was in south Philly and a car pulled up with two guys in it. They called out to me asking for directions so I walked over. As I was explaining where to go the dude in the passenger seat spit in my face and they sped off."
– the_humbL_lion
Willing Victim
"You just reminded me of a similarly gross interaction:"
"Years ago after a doctor's appointment, I got into my car and turned it on, at which point a small child started leaning/sitting on the hood. His heavily pregnant mother stood by doing nothing, apparently distracted by her phone. I rolled down my window, and asked if she would mind getting her child off of my car, as I needed to leave, and was concerned he could get hurt."
"She asked if I had insurance. Confused, I answered '...yes?', to which she said 'Well I hope you DO hit him so I can get some MONEY!' She proceeded to lean in through my passenger window, and started spitting on me. The kid was no longer on my car, and I desperately wanted to get away from her, so I put my car in reverse. She then hurled her pregnant belly into my sideview mirror, and shrieked in such an exaggerated way, as if I had hit her."
"I eventually found a new doctor."
– TheHaydnPorter
Unwanted Car Wash
"Stopped at a red light one time. Someone from a building adjacent to the light threw a bag of ice and water on my car, from a few stories up. Dented the roof and shattered the windshield."
"Wasn't even a nice car, I was driving a Dodge neon sh*tbox."
– IAmPandaKerman
You never know the capabilities of strangers you encounter.
The Violent Thief
"I got held up at gun point 2 weeks ago in philly 10 feet from the door to my friends apartment. They stole both our watches. My watch was given to me by my dead uncle. https://imgur.com/a/V59aebW"
– xcpain93
Hit By A Hard Object
"Reminds me of something. Some a**hole tossed a lock, like the combination type out of a car at me and hit me in the knee. I had trouble walking correctly for damn near a month."
"I always thought if they'd have stopped at a light I'd have hurled that b*tch right back."
"Good thing they didn't. I wasn't in any condition for a fight."
– Ok_Relationship_705
Moving Targets
"I also have a drive-by experience but it was with a f'king paintball gun. My friend and I were in freshmen year, just walking to the park to play some ball and with no warning he suddenly recoils and shouts in pain. I had no clue what happened. He reaches at his back and when he turns around I see a bright red paint splat on his white shirt. I look up and see the car that just passed us turns around, pulls up next to us with the kid in the passenger seat hanging the gun out window saying 'Sorry bro, I’m just so surgical with this thing,' and speeds off. Pretty hilarious story in hindsight within our friend group now, but at the time we were pissed. Luckily we got their plates and the cops showed up at their house and they got in trouble. F'kers."
– zakxk
Wrong Target
"I was about 11 and me and some friends were standing on a small bridge over a lake. All of a sudden I was picked up and thrown over the railing into the lake below. I tried to grab onto anything I could as I fell and scrapped my arms up pretty good. I still have scars 30 years later. So I swim to the side and some older kid comes up to me and just say - sorry, I thought you were someone else."
– discostud1515
Attacks happen when you least expect it.
Random Attack
"Punched me, for no reason. I was standing. Waiting for the community bus. A stranger got out of the car and punched me. I filed the Police report but nothing happen."
– Hallo-Mapskollegen
Hitting The Elderly
"My grandmother was at the movies and a guy walking up the aisle punched her in the side of the head. He told the cops he was mad because he was on a bad blind date."
"Like...great excuse to wallop a 75-year-old woman minding her own business."
– BarracudaImpossible4
The Ferrari Guys
"Had a similar thing happen when I was in Downtown Los Angeles. I was crossing the street and just came up onto the sidewalk. Some dude in a Ferrari steps out of the car, walks up to me and tries to swing on me in broad daylight. I sidestepped this dude, and he then spun to try to hit me again, calling me a motherf**ker and not to dodge. I caught him with a nut shot with my foot and doubled him over."
"His buddy hops out of the car, and another of his buddies (I assume) gets up from the side of the sidewalk and both are yelling at me, and I'm like, 'ah, f'k, I'm not ready for this.'"
"These absolute legends who had been watching all this sh*t go down just appear out of nowhere and jump these guys for me. Like, six different people from out of the woodwork. Nutshot and Scrub (Ferrari guys) hop in the car and just take off, scraping the car and taking the right side view mirror off. Their (assumedly) other homeboy gets left behind, but he tries to stumblef'k his a** away after having taken a couple of hits to the head. One of the guys who helped me jogs up and punts this dude in the side right after he falls over, doubling him up. Meanwhile, everybody else is checking on me and making sure I'm good."
"Cops show up, detain us, figure out what's going on, let us go, and arrest homie that couldn't get away. Come to find out, these guys have been doing this for weeks, and the people who helped me were local residents who had been on the lookout for Nutshot. Arrested homie later squealed, and all the guys involved got a couple of years for aggravated assault."
– feronen
My bad interactions with strangers were all random but definitely premeditated assaults.
I was mugged twice in New York City while I was typically minding my own business.
Also, while I was in Barcelona, I had a team of youths pick-pocket me and run off with my wallet containing my passport and credit cards. Fortunately, the friend I was with saw what happened and ran off after them. She sucker-punched the young lady who had my wallet, causing her to drop it.
Be careful out there, folks!
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"And that's just one star, the nearest one to us, in a galaxy containing billions of stars, which is just one of billions of galaxies."
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"Far bigger than we can begin to comprehend."- Qabbalah
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