Psychologists Imagine How They Would Diagnose God Based On The Bible

popular

Dear God... let's chat.

Reddiotr u/IvLiv wondered what would you say to God as mental health professional by asking.... Psychologists of Reddit, if you had God as a patient, how would you diagnose him based on his actions described in the Bible?


Highway Choices.

Giphy

You want it your way or the highway..... to hell.

buckeyespud

A Little Chat First. 

I asked a psychologist (and very religious) friend something similar to this once. Her response?

A general rule of psychology with few exceptions is to not diagnose a patient you've never even had a conversation with. It doesn't matter what actions you can see. Or what accounts you're given. Or even the writings left behind. Trying to diagnose someone sight unseen is sloppy.

She ranked it on par with those posts you see all over reddit or Facebook or Tumblr where people will diagnose fictional characters with tons of mental disorders. It's a fun thought exercise, but that's the best it could be.

Usually it's just obnoxious to see someone claim that every personality quirk a hero displays is actually a symptom of their autism/ADHD/ PTSD/ manic- depressive disorder.

The anthropologist in me also would like to add that many disorders are culturally defined and that we cannot assume a non-human entity would have the same psychology as a human. It's too anthropomorphic. Maybe everything God does is actually completely normal for a God, and a God that acts more rational by human standards would be the one with the mental disorder.

Now is this all a long winded way to avoid answering the question? Yes it is. But I still found it worth a thought.

MisterComrade

The Cosmics....

Cosmic vanity.

He created an entire planet of life for the sole purpose of worshiping him and living by his doctrine.

Also psychopath.

grim698

Where to Begin.

Floods? Plagues? Telling his followers to murder their sons? Sending his own son to Earth so he can be crucified? Sending people that don't follow his random rules to hell to be tortured for eternity? Psychopath anyone?

Mad_Squid

The "Experiment"

Giphy

I'm not a psychologist but I've read the entire bible. Dude sounds like a massive narcissist with a superiority complex. He literally created humans just to praise and worship him. And whenever they slip up, eternal torture. Just for the lolz I guess.

Another theory is that the God of the bible is like a kid stomping on ants for fun, and essentially the whole world is his fun "experiment." This one makes a bit more sense, imo. XD

SauceBeUponHim

Severe Behavior. 

Homicidal maniac.

ohnoitsmchl

Crap man, I respect your decisions, but she ate an APPLE my guy.

MonoBlackMTG

Forget Diagnosis...

Screw diagnosis, dude would be getting some serious meds right away. (Not a psychologist, but you make a bear kill 42 kids for teasing a bald guy, there's issues).

dxrey65

No Need to Punish. 

A narcissist with an emphasis on abuse. The relationship between follower and God mimics spousal abuse to a T. No matter how horrible God treats his followers, they all claim they deserve the punishment he gives as it is their fault and God does it because he loves them. If only they were better then he wouldn't need to punish them.

MyNameIsRoosevelt

Toxic.

Giphy

Reprehensible bully with seriously toxic jealousy.

morlansictorrent

I'm an actual psychologist. God would have the first legit case of Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka "Multiple Personalities") given how many authors have written as "Him" over the last 6,000 years.

Mangar1

He's batty and insane.

Antisocial personality disorder. He's batty and insane.

WavyWavyAlien

Been there. I've had so many clients tell me that they're God.

So probably schizophrenia.

SweetPickleRelish

How Meta.

Giphy

God complex.

mkkart

Meta question, if you are able to diagnose God, could you even diagnose him with his an illness named after him.

Like, could you diagnose Narcissus with narcissistic personality disorder?

Mavikiu

Wink. Wink. 

I see what you did there God I am not falling for that I want to go to heaven.

Ikon701

1000 IQ God trying to catch people slipping.

ogprichard

Yeah good thing I would only diagnose God with being good wink wink.

quavo-fan

"Abraham put that knife down right now."

The old testament makes God look like a psycho, but I sometimes wonder if it might not have gone down something like this:

"Abraham put that knife down right now."

"But Lord, you commanded me to sacrifice my son --"

"I keep telling you, the voices you hear after eating those mushrooms that grow on the riverbank aren't me."

I_throw_socks_at_cat

So erratic. 

Bipolar, just any time I read the damn thing and god is involved I just think "he has bipolar." Jesus is pretty chill though except when he cursed the fig tree for all eternity for not having any figs. God on the other hand is just unpredictably erratic.

ElephantsOnTurtle

Darn Kids.

Giphy

Disappointed in his kids.

fermat1432

Haha. So disappointed that he allows them to die in completely avoidable situations and condemns them to hell.

LATER4LUS

"delusions of grandeur"

Probably an unpopular post, but: nothing.

A key criteria for diagnosing someone for most things is that the problem needs to cause "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning."

It's an important step for dismissing false positives--that's why someone who spends their weekends dressing up like a dog is one thing, but a person who shows up at work to pee on everything and howl at the moon has issues.

Considering that, at least insofar as the Bible is concerned, God has absolutely no distress or impairment, it would be pretty hard to justify diagnosing him with something.

I mean, would you diagnose the Queen of England with "delusions of grandeur" because she insists that she's the Queen of England? Probably not. Same thing here, just on a bigger scale.

PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING

The Bottom of the barrel...

Psychotic depression from his profound loneliness, and we are his resultant psychosis.

crossedword

Like, for real. You're an all powerful, all knowing entity born out of nothing, and all that surrounds you is dark vast nothingness. Of course you'd go insane, you want to see anything, have a purpose. So you make humans. Modeled after the only thing you've ever known, yourself. If God is real, maybe we are just his own delirium.

ague_doctor

Which Book?

It really depends on which book of the Bible you're reading. I feel God in the New Testament was probably when the drugs started kicking in and he wasn't so angry anymore. Either that or he had a well-hidden Alcohol Use Disorder early on (drunk on power?) but he straightened up once he had a kid.

vampedvixen

The Litany. 

If you look at it like a relationship, he's an abuser. Look at the signs.

• always "testing" you

• doesn't want you to associate with people He doesn't accept and will shut you from His kingdom if you do so

• wants your complete dedication at any cost to you

• demands you do things because "He loves you"

• has a plan for you that you have no say in

• you are not allowed to do a great number of things or He'll smite you; however unless you literally beg for forgiveness, to hell with you

• creates a perfect being (Satan) and then says if you do anything like that guy, you are bad.

The guy is a disaster. So many people are in an abusive relationship with someone that doesn't even exist.

my_hat_is_fat

You're Crazy. That's All.

Giphy

ITT: the general consensus seems to be sociopathic malignant narcissist with extreme anger issues and major bipolar disorder with a history of close relations abuse, with a possibility of borderline personality disorder.

weretomato

REDDIT

You May Also Like
Hi friend— subscribe to my mailing list to get inbox updates of news, funnies, and sweepstakes.
—George Takei