Getting one's health in order is a very daunting necessity of life. But getting health, mental and physical, in order is brave. That's why one should never assume or self-diagnose. Google is not your MD!
Redditor u/krisdmc wanted therapists to speak up about some patients that don't seem to understand therapy by asking.... Psychiatrists of Reddit, how did you handle "I know everything, I already diagnosed myself" types of patients?
It was Me!
GiphyI was this patient. I had already been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and it got worse as time went on and I eventually convinced myself that I had paranoid personality disorder and when I told my therapist this she took out her DSM-V and went through all the symptoms with me and explained how some of them I do have but it's because it stemmed from the current anxiety disorder I already have. She did a really good job explaining it and was so sweet and professional. grown-issh
Open-ended.
I'm a therapist and do tons of intake assessments for my agency. I've had numerous people come in like this, and I just ask them what symptoms they notice and how they came to that diagnosis. I keep everything open-ended, and I don't ask leading questions or yes/no questions about symptoms.
I gather information about other situations in their life to get a full picture, and then I make my own diagnosis based on what they say. Rarely do I agree with people, but sometimes, they seem pretty close.
At the end of the assessment, I don't typically share my diagnosis, I just tell them my recommendations for treatment and see if they agree and go from there. rrirwin
The Roasting....
I used to be that type of patient.
I was CONVINCED that I had a panic/anxiety disorder and wouldn't accept anything else for an answer. 3 hours of "roasting" me later, he diagnosed me with BPD.
He was CRUEL but I'm not mad at him. I can't type three hours of arguments in a single comment, but it pretty much went "I did not study psychiatry for you to come into my consult and act like you have the right to diagnose yourself.
I've been here for 15 years and even I make wrong diagnoses every now and then. You do NOT get to pull stunts on me. If you want to pull them, find another therapist."
Left his office in tears but glad that my little bubble of headfoolery was gone.
TLDR: the key is not sugar coating anything. A lie repeated a thousand times does NOT become the truth. Don't let your patient act all nonchalant and simply smack them with the good old truth. BTSAREUSELESSCUNTS
The Master....
I'm a Master's level therapist. A lot of doctors get into pissing matches with clients trying to convince them of their diagnosis. The thing is, I don't bother unless it prevents me from doing the treatment. If I'm effectively treating the same symptoms it doesn't matter.
I do a lot of psycho-education with people with psychosis around the idea that it doesn't matter if I believe your delusions; if the FBI really is following you I can't do anything about it. If it is delusions, the medication is going to help.
TLDR: don't bother getting into a pissing match about it. Build the rapport and work them to the reality later. SvodolaDarkfury
Too Many Pills.
GiphyI wasn't this kind of patient. I was the opposite. Two years after meeting my psychiatrist I was on a bevy of unnecessary drugs. It took me several years to wean off and feel normal again. I needed therapy and help learning coping mechanisms, not medication to fit a diagnosis he gave me after 15 minutes of conversation.
I am a lawyer so I totally understand the whole google diagnosis thing, I see it all the time in my field. But a lot of people have suffered experiences in their lives that have taught them that they need to be their own advocate. And I'll be honest, I'd rather annoy the heck out of a psychiatrist than ever go down the path I was on again. Just because you have an advanced degree doesn't mean you don't have to earn my trust the good old fashioned way, by being respectful and hearing me out.
So this is my recommendation, you hear the person out and build a trusting relationship. Chances are the people coming in all hot and ready with a diagnosis have had a lot of invalidating experiences involving medical professionals. They don't trust you. That's not your fault. But you have to earn the trust to deal. I give this advice from my perspective as my own advocate, and dealing with similar stuff in my field. malapropagandist
Don't Assume. Find Out.
Not a psychiatrist but I am clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety. my ex-friend is one of those bound to be Karen people, she has this 'i looked up the symptoms so I can diagnose it.' vibe to her. one day we were talking about mental disorders (i was stressed and at the moment I needed to talk to someone about it.) and as I was talking about my depression she gave me this look, it was a look of hatred and anger.
She said "you shouldn't act like you have those things, you don't." she started ranting at me that I shouldn't try to special and say I have depression and anxiety because "you don't because you came up and talked to me about it, depressed people are introverts." I stared at her because she thought this, seriously?
I asked her where she learned this and she said: "well, depressed people are sad all the time and so they don't go out or talk to people." I am no longer friends with this person. woah_im_gay_
Be Honest.
I am a doctor, and I was that patient!
Diagnosed myself with depression in medical school, demanded antidepressants from my GP, then carried on miserably with medication that was only half-working.
When I could afford it as an intern, I got a psychiatrist and told her the same thing. But because I knew what depression was SUPPOSED to look like, I gave the "correct" history. So she accepted my diagnosis and we carried on trying to find the right drugs.
She always had a feeling it was actually BPMD, but whenever she asked about symptoms of hypomania, I denied them.
I don't know how much of it was denial (BPMD has much more stigma than depression) or how much of it was me wanting to follow the textbook.
But eventually we reached that point where I let go of the power and let her do the diagnosing. Once we started treatment for BPMD, things got SO much better.
BPMD, not BPD. sunrisechimera
The Reverse.
I am the reverse. I've known I have had some sort of mental health issues since I was a teenager, but didn't think I had much more than depression. So, under the urging of my ex girlfriend, I saw a psychiatrist.
And I was diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder.... and then Generalized Anxiety Disorder.... and then Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.... and then ADHD, over the course of the last three years. This has been over multiple psychiatrists.
I accept that this is probably right. But some part of me to this day questions if I have any of it. lil_Big_G
No to Google!
My longtime psychiatrist recently put a mug that says "Please Do Not Confuse your Google Search with my Medical Degree" on her desk.
I laughed and complimented her on it and she said "PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THIS! They diagnose themselves with something they read online, like i went to medical school, and they argue with me about it."
She told me she gets a good first impression of new patients based on how they react to the mug. Ones she ends up working well with always laugh at it. Whereas the patients who are offended by it usually end up butting heads with her.
My doctor is damn smart, haha. On_Too_Much_Adderall
Don't Wait.
GiphyI've been putting off seeing a psychiatrist because I'm afraid I'm that patient. My wife tried to kill herself back in April (she's doing much better now) and it helped me realize I probably need some help as well. My wife's psychiatrist (who happens to be a friend of ours) told her he'd really love to treat me.
He thinks I have some form of adult ADD among other things, I also had to explain to my wife that a psychiatrist saying he love to treat you isn't exactly a compliment or good news...
I personally think I suffer from situational depression and some form of narcissistic personality disorder. Which is funny because I have a low opinion of my physical self, but I'm very high on my intelligence.
Damn, I should just call and make the appointment. outoftouch49
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.