Expatriates living abroad have a slew of reasons for doing so. Spoiler: living in the wealthiest country on Earth and becoming bankrupt while trying take of your own health is NOT a feather in the nation's cap.
Plenty of Redditors are living across the pond as we speak, and plenty proud to be there.
One Reddit post prompted expats to reflect on the moment life in the U.S. became to much. Of course, the decision to do so is a thoughtful one, full of a variety of considerations.
But most did report an identifiable moment, a tipping point which prompted only one next possible step: book some flights.
theiguana_32 asked, "Americans who left the US for political/cultural reasons: what was the final straw? What moment made you go "Okay, I want/need to leave?''
And the List Goes On
"American in Germany here, really, so many things."
"Work environment: 28 days paid vacation and pretty much unlimited sick leave, better work culture."
"Cheaper groceries and services."
"Health care here is the same, but actually covered by my insurance."
"Public transportation is actually usable."
"Long maternal and paternal leave. You get a stipend per child to cover their expenses when you have them."
Giving Too Much to Have Too Little
"Working 4 part time jobs at once. Had no healthcare. Got hit by a car while on my bike 6 weeks before leaving the country to go teach debate at a private foreign academy."
"Lucky all I got was a concussion."
"Leaving was the best decision I ever made. I still work crazy hard, but at least now I have something to show for it."
-- malfight
First World Problems
"Medical debt. Paying $8k for a simple out-patient surgery even with insurance was so infuriating. We left in 2012. We live in Taipei now, where a hospital visit is a couple of dollars and I can have a child without declaring bankruptcy."
-- wakethenight
Starting to Fresh
"College. I realized I could never afford it in the States and didn't want to spend the majority of my adult life paying off a degree I wasn't sure I wanted in the first place."
"Improved my foreign language, ended up switching my major at a European school twice and I'm on my way to graduating soon."
"Will be the first one in my immediate family to graduate with a Bachelor's degree and will have $0 in student debt when I am finished."
Seeing a Myth for What it Is
"I love the idea of America, I just don't like its execution. Way to stressful of a place for me to live and raise my daughter. I'll gladly pay 50% taxes and drastically reduce the chance of accumulating more money than I could ever need in exchange for a far more equitable and moral system."
-- pardi777
The Orange Tip of an Iceberg
"I decided to leave after Trump was elected. Trump is a symptom, not the disease, but it just represented everything that frustrated and saddened me about the country. It was also good timing for me, as I graduated from college about 5 months after Trump was inaugurated. So, I used my grad money to buy a one-way ticket to Taiwan."
-- caseyesac
Not All Expats Cross an Ocean
"The so-called 'election' in 2000 and the fact that Bush killed over a million civilians in Iraq. I moved 7 miles and after a long series of events became a proud Canadian citizen. (I'm an ex-Detroiter.)"
Foot Soldiers Too Important to Leave
"I wish I had the ability to leave. My last straw was having Trump elected president knowing that he had no respect for females, the disabled, and many other groups that I have spent my life working to protect."
"It's hard to be a social worker in a broken system that shows no intent or motivation to change."
A Punch in the Gut
"The 2017 Las Vegas shooting did it for me. All the mass shootings actually, including the one at my university (UCSB), but Las Vegas was the final straw."
"I stopped feeling safe doing everyday activities (going to bars/clubs, attending concerts, shopping at malls). It prevented me from living my life the way I wanted to."
A Difficult to Verbalize Difference
"Maybe I can sum it all up with an experience I had yesterday: I went to a few stores to stock up on some basics. I live in a very diverse city and the stores were packed with people from six continents, every imaginable shade of color."
"Everyone stocking up, everyone with heavy carts. The checkout line in one grocery store stretched across entire store."
"And people were so. goddamn. friendly. Smiles. 'Sorry.' 'After you.' Patience. It was incredible. It was legitimately enough to bring a tear to my eye, and I'm an a**hole."
Rid of the Bootstraps
"The problem was that every job I had, no matter my insistence, I was expected to go above and beyond, work overtime, constantly seeking promotions, etc. Basically, making work my life. The expectations became exhausting."
"I knew from frequent trips and a network of European friends through studying abroad, that the work-life balance in many European countries is better."
We All Remember that Confirmation Hearing...
"When Betsy DeVos became Secretary of Education. I was in my last semester of college to become a teacher and began applying abroad." -- Ethel12
GOTTA HAVE IT
"It wasn't a primary driver by any means, but holy f*ck it didn't realize how much time and energy it was eating up in my daily life: rampant consumerism. Not from me, but from witnessing people doing it and trying to tell them about how spend within their means."
"I was just surprised on the nonsensical nature of it, and how it was everywhere. I moved to London, and I legit didn't see a pickup truck for 4 months. And when I finally saw one, there was sh*t in the back."
"Compared to Atlanta rush hour traffic where pickups are just as common as cars, and almost all of them aren't carrying anything."
-- bitwaba
When Individualism Feels More Like Selfish
"I find my countrymen to be kind of insufferable. Even the good ones. I just think Americans are generally not very conscientious people."
"I left for pretty much all the same reasons everyone else has listed. Near free healthcare, better quality of life, very straight forward interviews, and I've been able to get a master's degree here for free. Even the dating scene is better."
"I have no plans on returning. I do miss doing outdoorsy stuff in the US though."
-- BobisBadA**
Existential Threats
"I left towards the end of the Bush administration, but his reelection is what made me realize I had to go."
"I'm gay, and seeing someone win reelection in large part because he campaigned on a constitutional amendment to ban me from marrying was too insulting to take."
-- mylesleo
Strategic Decision-Making
"I left for Canada after I realized how much the War on Terror was costing the US. This was around 2006-2007."
"It occurred to me that that level of military expenditure is unsustainable, and that sooner or later Americans would pay the price. Bush was borrowing the money to shift the costs into the future."
-- jz187
Because of Guns. Nuff Said.
"It was my mum's decision. I was held at gunpoint by a neighbor, at the age of ten. Because some boys knocked on his door and ran away. He came out of his house packing heat, and took the first children he saw hostage."
"He rang our parents, we lived just round the corner. When the police came my mum assumed he would be arrested. Nope."
"My mum was threatened with arrest for swearing. We moved to England soon after, it's lovely here."
-- cfcnotbummer
It Sets In
"Working in field hospice in rural Louisiana. I was like 'I can't die here.'"
"Honestly I'd rather die in prison than in a Medicaid nursing home in rural Louisiana."
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
People Share The Best Examples Of 'Whoever Designed This Must Not Even Use Their Own Product'
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay |
You know, I've seen countless "no texting while driving campaigns" and I agree with the premise. I think it is dangerous not to have your eyes on the road. That's how accidents happen. With that said, don't car manufacturers think it's counterintuitive to include touchscreens instead of knobs or dials in new cars these days? You have to take your eyes off the road to adjust anything. I think it's hazardous, especially if you happen to be driving in inclement weather.
After Redditor TheTenthDimension asked the online community, "What's your best example of 'Whoever designed this must not use their own product'?" people shared some suggestions.
"I've personally worked on projects..."
<p>Here's a fun one. We just installed a bunch of new Kronos badge readers at work. The type you swipe your ID card to clock in and out. Everyone at work wears a lanyard that is attached at the top middle by a plastic strap, and your badge must always be displayed while at work.</p><p>Anyway when you go to swipe your badge in the new reader the card reader slot is too deep because the lanyard attachment on your badge hits the slot and prevents you from fully swiping your ID so you have to take your ID fully off the lanyard to get it to swipe now.</p><p>I've personally worked on projects at the Kronos headquarters, when I saw this design flaw I was not surprised one bit, between that and the usability of their web portals it seemed pretty par for the course for Kronos.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqn3t0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Brancher</a></p>"I have a fan..."
<p>I have a fan with a bright LED light that shows what setting it's on. Luckily, there's a 'sleep' mode that makes the light dimmer. Except another light comes on to let you know sleep mode is on, and that one is at full brightness. Just... why?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqpcsw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArtemisJQ</a></p>"Engineers must have forgotten..."
<p>All TVs without at least the basic controls on the TV. Engineers must have forgotten the possibility of breaking or losing the remote.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqi1tq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">willbeach8890</a></p>"Straps can stretch out..."
<p>BRAS.</p><p>Straps can stretch out during a long day's wear. Whose brilliant idea was it to put the adjusters in the <span style="background-color: initial;">back</span> where you can't see or reach them?</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqlzt3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aphid61</a></p>"For someone who has a really hard time..."
<p>The system to get help with mental health, like anxiety and depression. For someone who has a really hard time with making phone calls, it's tough to get help when every step requires more phone calls and appointments. Not to mention how expensive counseling is.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqsuv0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ipomoeatricolor</a></p>"To make matters worse..."
<p><span>We got these new pin pads where I work and the slide part for the credit cards is at a 45-degree angle instead of completely sideways or completely up and down. To make matters worse a light illuminates the slide area, but when you're looking at it from the perspective of the customer it makes it look like there's nowhere to slide the card at all due to where the angle of the light hits. I've seen people struggle for thirty seconds trying to find where to slide their cards before I have to show them. Unfortunately, there are some functions where a customer has to slide their card and not insert the chip. The cherry on top is that these pin pads do not have tap to pay or Apple/Samsung pay functionality...</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqjbqf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Grand_Corgi</a></p>"Bathrooms in brand new..."
<p>Bathrooms in brand new (and fairly expensive) homes seem to be designed for women by men who have no idea what the majority of women (and some men) really need.</p><ol><li>nice vanities but no real storage.</li><li>walk-in closets that you access through the bathroom, so if one of you is using the toilet, you either walk in on them or wait until they're finished before you can get to the closet.</li><li>beautiful walk-in showers with completely inadequate space for shampoo and etc</li><li>beautiful walk-in showers with nowhere to put your foot when you shave.</li></ol><p><span>Not about the bathroom, but in those walk-in closets, nothing configured for dresses or long coats.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjrm865?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">product52403</a></p>"The volume control..."
<p>The volume control on a car radio should always be a twist knob, not a slider on a screen. There's no way to use a slider without taking your eyes off the road.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjrik9s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">picksandchooses</a></p>"I can't think of anything more infurating..."
<p>McGraw-Hill products.</p><p>I can't think of anything more infuriating and less educational. My teachers use them for absolutely everything.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqsj9w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SuckMyClock</a></p>"I once stayed..."
<p>I once stayed in a "trendy" "designer" hotel which was clearly designed by someone who had never stayed in a hotel. The only lights were dim as hell mood lighting, and the windows were floor-to-ceiling with blackout blinds but no net curtains, so if you needed to see anything clearly then your only option was to have zero privacy. Never staying there again!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzwoa5/whats_your_best_example_of_whoever_designed_this/gjqf041?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">inflatablefish</a></p>If only all the things we excelled at were also the very things we loved to do most. But sadly, that is not the way it goes.
Instead, some horrible force of the universe made you way better at, say, sewing the holes of pants than playing guitar. The universe can be a spiteful, fickle jerk.
Art, Forced Upon
<p>"Not me but - my friend has taken piano lessons since he was 6 years old and is f***ing amazing at it. But it was much more of a 'parents with high expectations forcing him to take lessons' sort of deal."</p><p>"He hates playing the piano, which is really sad...and his parents kind of suck"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6kydd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SnooMarzipans9028</a></p>Conditions for Very Good Work Ethic
<p>"Cleaning. I f***ing hate it, so when I do it, I make sure not even the smallest stain is left so I can postpone the next session as long as possible." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6mfa5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">avadakabi***</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I have a weird quirk where, when I get sick, I have a compulsion to clean. Its like my brain says 'you are already miserable, you may as well do stuff that you hate so you don't have to be made miserable later, when you are feeling better.'"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My wife has gotten to the point where she almost looks forward to me getting sick because she knows the house will be spotless by the end of the day." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6p160?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BranWafr</a></p>The Introvert's Dilemma
<p>"Being nice to people. I can be very pleasant if needed, but it's also very draining." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ktfn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nomadinlimbo</a><span></span></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"This is me as well! People are so surprised when I tell them that I identify as an introvert."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"People need to understand that being an introvert is not necessarily always about an inability to act naturally in groups, sometimes it's more about how hard that might be. When I've spent time in social situations I feel completely drained afterwards." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6yg6n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DorneForPresident</a></p>The Debate Goes On
<p>"Coding. Never make your favorite hobby your job, kids!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6nv49?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mortambulist</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Too late. Turned my hobby into my college major and then into my job. Now I don't like doing it anymore lol." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7kqs5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SpecialChain</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Eh, or do. Often it works out. I held off going into tech precisely for that reason and did physics instead. Hated it and switched."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I enjoy my job, it happens." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7fs07?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ApprehensiveSand</a></p>Can't Decide If Kafka Would Be Proud or Devastated
<p>"Bureaucratic red tape type paper work. I guess I am just very good at filling out tons of forms and papers. Also sort of part of my job."</p><p>"I don't like it, but I am very good at it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6m9x4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BigBearSD</a></p>The Go-To Friend
<p>"I am fantastic at moving furniture, either around the house, or from one home to another. I don't f*** up walls, and I can definitely get that bureau of yours through the doorway."</p><p>"But don't call me and ask me to help you move sh**, I'm busy that day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ng58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">InternetKidsAreMean</a></p>Bad at Parties
<p>"Being analytical. Life would be so much easier if I could turn my brain off and just have a knee jerk emotional reaction to everything like society expects right now."</p><p>"Pro tip: when asked about a current hot topic, 'I'm waiting for the whole story to come out' is not the correct answer."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj705jt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FuerGrisaOstDrauka</a></p>Doomed to Phone Duty
<p>"I'm good at customer service, helping people on the phone, etc. but those jobs are soul sucking black holes" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6r01i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheRealOcsiban</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"I so feel this. I've had a few customer service jobs, and I was very good at them but I f***ing HATE customers, entitled little sh**s, every last one of them, even the nice ones. Instead of picking up the phone or standing at the desk thinking 'how can I help?' I'd just be thinking 'WHAT do you want NOW?'"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"But I was good at it, and as I think it's due to me genuinely liking to listen to people's problems and help them (just not in a customer service setting) I decided to retrain as a Psychologist." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7pach?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Zhylia</a></p>Hospitality Trumps Laziness, For a Night
<p>"Cooking. I only cook for other people (I love throwing parties) but when I'm eating by myself it's takeout, ramen, and frozen meatballs all day. The idea of slaving over a stove for hours when I just want to grab a bowl of canned junk food and go back to watching youtube videos irritates me."</p><blockquote>Cook smarter, not harder<br></blockquote><p>"Still too much work."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6z7fl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ryeshoes</a></p>The Logical End of the Game
<p>"Monopoly, like freakishly good at it. I'll win every game. But people are going to hate me..." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj6ohmr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sadpanda___</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My oldest son is like that. No one in the family will play with him anymore." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj753qh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">momtimesthree</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"This is the way. The trick to monopoly is to grind the other players into dust. Slowly. Brutishly. Inevitably."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Then you never have to play the wretched game again and as a bonus you've ruined the game for others. You must do your part to break the cycle of familial abuse that is monopoly." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kwvdr2/whats_something_youre_really_good_at_but_dont/gj7fjh3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nefariousinnature</a></p>Image by analogicus from Pixabay |
Society is an odd conundrum when you attempt to wrap your head around it. This phenomena typically occurs whenever you witness a new trend or share experience and everyone seems to go along with it. Only much later, when you think about it with a bit of critical thinking, do you notice something might be off.
Going against society can be strained, difficult, like pulling back a sticker that's been on way too long, however sometimes it's necessary to get rid of what we probably shouldn't be so welcoming of.
People Break Down The Cruelest Thing A Family Member Has Ever Said To Them
In a perfect world, family has your back harder than anyone else.
In the real world, it can sometimes be your family that cuts deeper than anyone else. Intentional or not, the people closest to you have the ability to seriously super suck.
No, you're not the only one who has dealt with a mom who just, for the life of themselves, can't NOT be critical. Or a dad who just always seemed chronically underwhelmed by you.
Too Young To Have Problems
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMjM3Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzU4OTQ4Nn0.IS0f7DOIDbguteBysLtbbRK28ICbWY8p6Q7DuQ0H_Yk/img.gif?width=980" id="09640" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0b52e8847e8a71ba3bd6f885e7e10ac0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />sad carry on GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphy<p>As a child (13) i was diagnosed with kidney cancer. </p><p>The news hit me pretty hard because, as a kid that had lost family to cancer, I knew how serious it was. My diagnosis threw me into horrid depression.</p><p>The mother of my step father (so step grandma) laughed at me when the news got to her because "You're too young to have problems so just get over it."</p><p>My mother was flabbergasted. She already hated the woman. Probably a factor in us cutting her completely out of our life once my step father passed - he had already been in the hospital for 2 years at that point and he hated watching the two of them (my mother and his mother) fight. </p><p>My mother sparred telling him for the sake of peace. He died without ever knowing what his mom said. </p><p>I'm still in and out of remission, currently doing good. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhlwlc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">metalicoe</a></p>"Like You Ruined Mine"
<p>When I (a married adult) told my father I was expecting a baby he said: </p><p>"Get an abortion, a kid will ruin your life, like you ruined mine." </p><p>Broke my heart. My kids are the two best things that have ever happened to me and my husband. </p><p>They are adults now and I cannot for the life of me ever understand how a parent could feel the way my father feels, much less understand why he would say such a vile thing. </p><p>It says more about him than me. His loss.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhmzb3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Veganmon</a></p>Not The Call OP Was Expecting
<p>Toxic childhood, my mother had no parenting skills. </p><p>When I was 15 she assaulted me pretty terribly for asking if she would buy groceries because I hadn't eaten in a few days. I moved out the next day and couch surfed for a long time. </p><p>After putting myself through university and getting an advanced honors degree, she called me... to tell me that I'm stuck up and think I'm better than my family.</p><p> I'm doing well now. I have a lovely wife who loves me, a good job even through the pandemic, and I haven't spoken to my family in a long time, which is for the best. </p><p>Still struggling through that for sure (guilt, anger, etc.), but doing alright with it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhojy7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AwkwardCranberry7</a></p>Too Ugly, Too Dark
<p>My mom wouldn't ever let me go to parties with her and my dad when I was a kid. She brings my sister and little brother though because they have light skin (we're from Asia).</p><p>One day I dressed up and got ready because everyone else did. And then she asked me "Why are you getting ready?" and I asked why "Aren't we going to a party?". She stared at me and told me "No... you're too ugly" in our language.</p><p>I'm 21 now and our relationship has never been the same since. I aged well though thankfully but it still stings whenever I remember it.</p><p>I also remember our most recent fight - I was mad that my sister who graduated college more than 5 years ago now still gets allowance while I, still in school, with full units, with a full scholarship, am working for my own bills and allowance.</p><p>None of my siblings had to work while they're studying. Now she even gets my savings and gets mad at me whenever I ask for it back. </p><p>I know my life's sucky right now but after I'm done with school, I'm planning on going no-contact with everyone and will build my own life and hopefully find people who truly love me.<br></p><p><span></span>Sorry for the rant. It's nice to let out a little sometimes when I can.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhkl3l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">artmxs</a></p>Not Exactly Worried About A Rapist's Review
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUzMjM3MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTM2ODk0NX0.NMwYKi-EBJ9bpQ0GUjxSNKu3y9KRzGNdk4qeHWrC8H4/img.gif?width=980" id="afb3c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="67bb89c5864aed944e8e133953536cf1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="444" />cat illustration GIFGiphy<p>I'm a pale woman with dark body hair. My mother saw that I hadn't shaved my legs in a while and said: <br>"You need to shave that hair off, what happen if you get attacked and they rush you to emergency and the doctors have to see that hair?<br>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhunb9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">grindelvvald</a></p>Beat Me Stupid
<p>My dad told me if I didn't change my attitude my future husband would beat me stupid. </p><p>I'm actually married to a very smart and kind man. My father is, and always has been, a piece of sh*t. </p><p>Me always being strong was what made my father hate me even more. He was abusive and would hit us. So this was a common thing he would say to break me down.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhaawj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">postylowkeyokey</a></p>Too Stupid, Naïve and Immature
<p>When I was in middle school I applied for a college training type program. They help you apply, gain knowledge etc while you're still in school. </p><p>On the way to the interview my dad told me he was wasting his money, gas and time on something so ridiculous, because I was too stupid, naïve and immature to ever be accepted into this program, let alone graduate hs or make it to college.</p><p>I spent that entire ride bawling my eyes out, aced that interview, and had my first two years of college paid for. F*ck you dad.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhf1sq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GothSpite</a></p>What Do You Even Contribute?
<p>I (23f) got a notice in the mail saying that my insurance company was lowering my rates on car and rental policies. I told my mom (53) and she said, "rental? What do you even contribute to the house?"</p><p>I'm 23 years old, I'm a medical biller and make a decent salary for someone who has two years experience but not enough to move out yet. When my dad passed away at age 49 from cancer five years ago, I helped my mom a lot by helping her settle my dad's will, help her make financial decisions, cook, clean, signed us up for medical insurance, help my older brother (26) with his and her taxes I also helped him apply for school financial aid. I was a teenager. </p><p>I took time off of work take care of her after two major surgeries because my brother didn't feel "comfortable". I would drive him to places too. We use to share a car and I paid for over $100 a month for gas and he would only give me $20. </p><p>I snapped at my mom because I know if I didn't step up my older brother wouldn't even do anything. I told her everything I did and still do for this family. I don't mind that they rely on me to help them but I'm not going to set myself on fire to keep them warm anymore. </p><p>My mom did apologize and she didn't realize how much I did for her and my older brother. I accept the apology but those words still sting my heart.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhl6qx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Calypos_Luna</a></p>I Left For A Reason
<p>I tracked down my estranged mother a couple years ago after she had been gone from my life since I was 5. When she figured out who I was, her response was: <br>"I don't have a daughter. I left for a reason." </p><p>Then she hung up the phone and I just stood there in my living room trying not to cry. It hurt, but I made it 34 years without her and I have every intention of continuing to do so.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhizb4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">feralhippie</a></p>She Took My Hand And Said...
<p>When I was 9 I adored my older sister (8 years older than me). I just wanted to be like her in every way. </p><p>One day I did something (probably an annoying little sister thing) and she took my hand, led me to my room and told me, "you don't understand how powerful the word hate is yet but you one day will and you should know I hate you. 100% hate you." </p><p>She said it so matter of factly and just walked out. It broke my heart. Changed me from that day forward.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhx4d9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KaEcold</a></p>After Mom Died
<p>After my mother died, my first cousin's wife told me that I was no longer a member of the family because I was adopted (as an infant, FYI) and the death of my mother severed my membership in the family. I was 41 when she said this to me.</p><p>For an adopted child—at least for me, fear of rejection is an early childhood trauma you can't escape. I had WONDERFUL adoptive parents. </p><p>When she said that to me I half expected them to rise from the grave to defend me. They loved me, I am secure in that. But the knowledge that she felt that way and nobody else shut her down still hurts.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l3pq4q/serious_what_is_the_most_cruel_thing_a_family/gkhtkyn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CartoonistSpecific75</a></p>