Being a police officer means putting your life on the line for the safety of others. That itself should be enough to send many officers home every night with thoughts of, "Oh man, that was crazy." Occasionally, though, there are those nights where it's all just a little too much. You find yourself saying to you or your partner, "Oh...sh*t."
(TRIGGER WARNING: Some stories involve gunshot wounds and suicide.)
Reddit user, u/ilkersever, wanted to hear the best of the worst when they asked:
Police officers of reddit, what was your "oh sh*t" moment?
Perhaps Not The Most Comfortable Bed
We were looking for a guy who stole guns from his ex and found him under a pile of clothes in a closet at a different house. Unfortunately there was like 7 kids sleeping in the same room so I start getting them out of there while my partner cuffs the guy who is pretending to sleep. We decide to drag him out and I go to move the mattress to get it out of the way and we find the stolen guns under where the kids were sleeping.
A Surprise To Remember
My husband has been a police officer for over 20 years. One night he was patrolling the downtown area when he noticed a purse someone had left behind. He opened the bag to check for id and found a turd. Some lady took a big a-- sh-t in her handbag and left it behind. He'll talk about autopsies and burnt bodies, but that is the one story he would rather forget.
Not What It Appears
This happened August of last year, was about 1-2 in the morning when a 911 hang up call came in where all that was heard was screaming and swearing.
I was the closest unit, riding alone as my partner had been voluntold for another assignment that set of days, so when I got out into the area, I was initially waiting for backup however as I was walking up to the house, I heard several voices screaming.
Rushing up to the house, the first thing I noticed was blood.... everywhere. The floor, the walls, the door, all covered to shoulder height. A distraught woman screamed and pointed me towards the living room.
Once I get into the living room, I see a male and female on a couch, both covered in blood. The male had a massive laceration on his right forearm, and the female had taken a belt and snake wrapped it around his arm to try and stop the bleeding. Seeing how the belt was applied, I knew it wasn't doing anything to stop the blood flow, so I pulled out my tourniquet and as I prepped it said to the guy "This is gonna hurt like hell, but it'll stop the bleeding"
I applied the tourniquet just above the top of his bicep, and knew it was on properly when he told me his hand had started to go numb. It was at that point I noticed a second deep gash on his tricep that went down to the bone.
It took EMS about 15 minutes to get to the house, and the paramedic made it abundantly clear that had I not applied the tourniquet, the male would have bled out long before they were able to get there.
In the end, turns out the guy had come home drunk, and forgot his keys... climbed up to a second story window and punched his way into the house, with near deadly results.
Not What It Appeared To Be
As a rookie I was responding to an alarm at restaurant that was supposed to be "haunted by a women" The first officer that arrived was an older officer that didn't do much and didn't ever get excited on the radio. As soon as he arrived he asked for a second unit in a high pitched tone. As I pulled in he had his shotgun out and he was leaned up over his hood. My first thought was " oh sh-t someone is breaking in ".
When I ran up to him and asked what up. All he said was as he pulled up and his lights hit the building a women jumped off the roof and disappeared. He was clearly shook. Me and another officer checked the building and found no evidence that someone had been there. It made an impression on me and I never went back to the restaurant at night without another officer.
Improper Testing
I was a rookie cop in a small town. I was driving to a check on a report of a large group of kids causing a disturbance at a school parking lot late at night. I realized I had not tested my PA speaker, which I planned on using to disperse the crowd. On my way to the call, slowly rolling down a residential street at 2am with my windows down, I decide to tap my PA mic a couple times to check it. First two taps, can't tell if its working. I slow down. I tap the mic several more times. Definitely hear the loud speakers that time. At that moment, I hear "what the f-ck are you doing?!" I look out my passenger window and see this old dude sitting on his porch in his underwear, looking pissed. Our eyes locked, I realized I had no decent excuse for clicking my loud speaker in a quiet neighborhood in the middle of the night, so I didn't say anything back to him and I floored it up the road.
Definitely an oh sh-t moment at the time (maybe different than what OP is looking for but I get tired of traditional "war stories"). The awkward on this encounter was through the roof.
Nothing Better To Do In The Countryside
I worked in a pretty rural farming community. One night some time after midnight we get a call of some young men shooting Amish horses and maybe some cows.
We had a general location, direction of travel, color of car, no make or model. I found a car of the same color in the vicinity. I called it out and initiated a traffic stop. About that time I was joined by several cars from multiple jurisdictions.
We conducted a full felony stop at gunpoint. As I was taking one of the suspects to my car, my sergeant tells me that this is obviously the wrong vehicle. The occupants of the vehicle ended up being under 21 and had consumed some alcoholic beverages that night.
We explained to him the reason for the stop was that we take minors consuming alcohol very serious in our County.
Never did find a vehicle that was shooting the horses and cows.
Saying Good-Bye To Family
Not me but my dad. This was when he was a relatively new cop. Responded to a car crash, potentially fatal. Arrived at the scene and realized that the victim was my uncle, his sister's husband. The wreck was too bad, there wasn't much they could do. He had to watch his brother-in-law die.
"Oh Sh*t" By Association
During the first week of ride-alongs right out of the academy, one of my best friends responds to a disturbance at a hotel. The whole week up until this had been pretty fluff. He, the officer who was training him, and another, all pile into an elevator and go up a few floors to where the disturbance was.
The elevator door opens and there is a guy standing waiting for them with a gun. All 4 open fire like something out of a movie. Officers walked away without a scratch. C
An "oh sh-t" moment for him and a "what the f-ck" moment for me as he told me over a few beers the next day. Talk about earning your keep from day one"Nightmares For Days"
Went to an accident call about a sports car wrapped around a tree. The car and tree were engulfed in a massive fireball. One of the residents nearby managed to save the driver but received third degree burns on his hands in the process.
Couldn't save the passenger and I didn't make it in time to do anything. She melted to the seat. Driver was shit faced and had no idea. I had nightmares for days and still remember the smell.
What Could Have Been...
American officer here, Midwest. I was backing up another officer on his traffic stop, it was about 1 AM. Driver was very intoxicated. Other subjects were in the vehicle. Each person in the vehicle is well known to us for gun violence and drug trafficking.
After securing the driver for his violations we determined contraband was in the vehicle from driver admission, observing and open bottle of alcohol, and smell of burnt cannabis (it's illegal in my state to possess cannabis at this time).
We ask thr two to exit the vehicle for a search. As they begin to exit they jump out and knock an officer down, hurting his elbow and knee. They then take off running in seperate directions.
3 officers take off after one, catch him. He was tazed due to resistance and posessing a stolen firearm. (For note he is a convicted felon)
I took off after the other subject, by myself without realizing it. I chase him on foot for about a block. I'm about 10 feet from him, not gaining or losing ground but keeping pace. I see him reach into his back waist band and profuce a handgun.
Out of reaction I start to unholster my firearm. Before I even draw down on him he begins to turn towards me.
For some reason, whether by accident or intentionally I really dont know, he dropped the gun. We paused and just looked at each other for probably a whole second.
He began running again and I re holstered and continued running after him. This epic heart thumping chase ended with him tripping over a gutter and my catching him with no actual force being used.
Also my catch was a convicted felon and the firearm was stolen.
P.s I typrrd from mobile so please excuse typos.
Tough To Put Down
Got a call for a emotionally disturbed person. Arrive on scene and a 350lb man built like an NFL lineman is passed out of on the floor face down. His wife says he suffers from PTSD from the first Iraq war and that he was an army ranger. He had been drinking heavily. His son is on scene and about 16 years old. The man begins to wake up and proceeds to smash his forehead into the ground, repeatedly. We call for an ambulance. A small pool of blood begins to form on the floor. The wife grabs a rag and goes to wipe it up when this guy's head jerks up real quick, his face contorted in rage. He grabs the wife by the neck and throws her clear across the room onto the couch. We immediately jump on him but he is preternaturally strong.
There are four of us and we are each fighting one limb. The kid jumps in and helps us get two sets of cuffs on him because one set was not wide enough to connect his wrists behind his back. I ride in the ambulance to the hospital with him while he glares at me angrily reciting his military registration number and telling me I won't get any information out of him and that I'm a towel head (I don't remotely look like I'm from the region). The entire ride I hope that he doesn't break out of the cuffs. If I'm being honest, I'm not sure we would've gained control of him if the kid hadn't helped.
Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, And Dodge
Was on a traffic stop. My Sergeant came and backed me up due to having to possibly tow the vehicle. My Sergeants vehicle was behind mine and we were both in the right lane. My Sergeant was sitting in his car and I exited my car to go talk to him. As I walked closer to his car I heard a vehicle's engine rev all the way out but I couldn't see it.
For a split second I knew what was going to happen and though oh sh-t but couldn't react fast enough. The vehicle I heard smashed into the back of my Sergeants SUV which struck me, throwing me into the road. The driver was completely hammered and didn't have a license. This happened last Sunday and I have surgery in a couple weeks for my knee and my Sergeant has a broken back.
Power To Do Many Things
It was actually before I was sworn in, still as a cadet in the Highway Patrol: Loading live rounds into my service revolver for the first time.
Like, these could kill someone.
Rough Start
I pulled up on a teen sleeping in a vehicle at the end of a country road. When I ran the license plate, I found out that he was reported as a runaway. The doors on the vehicle were locked, so I knocked on the window to wake him up. Once he woke up and realized what was going on, he shot himself in the mouth with a rifle he had hidden under his blanket. Rough way to start my shift.
Sometimes, You Just Need To Talk
Was doing a welfare check at a house for a suicidal male. Only person living at the house, car in driveway, and house was locked up. Gathered some more info and was told where a key was. Opened the door, announced myself and starting searching the house expecting to find a dead body. Opened a closet door and the guy was hiding in there with a rifle next to him.
If he wanted me dead I wouldn't be typing this. Dude was having some issues. Sat and talked for about half an hour. Told me he heard me but didn't want to talk to anyone. Got him the help he needed.
Are you a police officer with a story to tell that would blow minds? Share it with us.
Hiring Managers Explain Which Mistakes Make Them Want To Throw Away Someone's Resume
A resume is so much more than just a simple list of your work experience.
Indeed, your resume is the first step in getting your foot in the door to your dream job, highlighting not only your past experience but your skill set, as well as things about you that will make recruiters want to get to know you more.
On the flip side, sometimes there are things on your resume that will automatically send you to the reject pile.
Of course, this is bound to include common, careless mistakes such as spelling and grammar errors or missing vital information, such as a phone number or email.
However, no two hiring managers will have the same set of red flags they look for on a resume. This can make finding a format that will please everyone something of a fool's errand.
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsense
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphyMake Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
"'Very meticulous and attentive to detials'."- papparmane
Read Book Club GIFGiphyMake Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
"An email address like DankMeister420@."- Kibitznik
the messengers aol GIFGiphyNever Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115
Im Out Breaking News GIF by Homes.comGiphyAll About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhoh
text texting GIF by Fifth HarmonyGiphyChoose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.
People Explain Which Things Were Once Highly Respected But Are Now Seen As A Complete Joke
In a world that keeps moving forward, many things change. People who seemed heroic fall from grace, inventions that were once useful are forgotten, and basic human rights are either ignored or taken for granted.
One way we've seen this happen is by thinking about all the people and things that were once highly respected that are now basically seen as a joke.
It all started when Redditor WildAnimus asked:
"What is something that was once highly respected but is now a complete joke?"
My Life As A Social Media Star
"Privacy. I know you're allowed to film pretty much everything, everywhere, all the time but do y'all really need to?"
– Reasonable-While-101
"And when you even mention that it's weird and rude to film people in public, a bunch of a**holes will jump all over you saying that "yOu HaVe No ExPeCtAtIoN oF pRiVaCy In PuBlIc". Like yeah, no one is saying you should go to jail or something, but could we all maybe try to respect one another a little more?"
– SchemeMoist
The High Offices
"Being US President"
– ral365
"I'll add being a Supreme Court Judge"
– p-terydatctyl
"I think this also extends to public office in general."
– joedotphp
Cheaters Never Prosper
"Lance Armstrong"
– ShakeyB2
"If he had admitted to use of steroids after the first accusation, I think people would have been a lot more forgiving. It’s the sh*t he did to his accusers that makes him a sh*t human"
– tjcoe4
"We sure found out how his arms got so strong."
– Zestyclose-Trash8556
The "News"
"Being a journalist. Said as someone who aspired to be one and am so thankful that I didn’t end up one."
– NarwhalSignificant22
"Journalism."
"Theres a reason we call it "The Media" and not "The News". The goal is no longer to inform, but to entertain."
– AlphaTangoFoxtrt
"It really is difficult to find a solution to the lack of real journalism. We got here because people would rather be entertained or enraged than informed."
– IErant
"Journalism. They were once defenders of the common man, seekers of truth and justice. Now they write bull sh*t about whatever is trending on f*cking Twitter and whatever propaganda the corporate overlords want them to push."
– NoseApprehensive5154
Inflation Will Do That
"Making 20 dollars an hour at your job"
– chronicsully91
"I remember thinking when I was younger “I’d be happy if I made 40k a year.” I make a lot more than that and am only just getting by."
– shocktard
"For my wife to be a stay-at-home mom like both of us want, I would have to make almost $40 an hour"
– Fyrrys
Don't Speak...Please
"Elon Musk. Man had a hell of a reputation for being a real-life Tony Stark. Then he started unraveling it all with the cave diver incident. (Your opinion may differ, the diver incident is when he went from "eh, he's cool I guess" to "he's a total jacka**" for me, at least.)"
"More recently he's completely tossed any shred of reputation he has by being a COVID denier, getting fully in bed with right wingers. being an utter sh*theel with the Ukraine war, and now his utter incompetence is fully on display with the Twitter takeover, taking a company that was previously doing just fine and tanking it in almost record time."
"(And of course, everything coming out about his legacy, like how he was let go from PayPal because he had no idea what the hell he was doing"
– We1tfunk
"Honestly I never really clicked onto just how much of a super villain he is until GTA online parodied him in their facilities DLC. Looking back, yeah it's a total likeness. A megalomaniac with all the money and a crazy tech start up plot to terrorise the world, and he gets foiled by a few weebs wearing a princess mask and body armour. It's the best metaphor for the 21st century I've ever witnessed actually"
– Flaky_Tumbleweed3598
Still Worth It?
"Netflix"
"Supposed to end the high cost cable, now its essentially just a channel you subscribe to"
– Yoshinoyachicken
"That was inevitable."
"What wasn't inevitable was cancelling every show before it even has a chance."
– Ender_Skywalker
"I blame all the studios pulling their shows to instead put them on their own crappy streaming service."
– kabukistar
"That's not Netflix's fault though. That is every single studio that exists thinking they can have their own paid service, after fighting tooth and nail against it for two decades. Netflix proved streaming works and now everyone wants Netflix's pie."
– SheriffBartholomew
"They did well and then HBO max happened and then everyone and their mother pulled their content for their own streaming service. Now you have 10 different subs with one or two shows worth watching and lots of sh*t"
– Kaizen420
Winner, Winner!
"The Academy Awards! I used to stay up late to watch the end & was so invested in the outcome!! For the past few years I haven't seen a single one of the nominated movies and feel so "meh" about the whole thing."
– lialoren
"I think the Academy Awards and the Grammies are in the same boat. People have woken up to the fact that the awards are rigged and who wants to watch that? It's a shame really."
– BasicB*tchBarb
"The veil has been lifted on most award shows. The more they try to compensate and include people who aren't attached to big studios the more they realize those people could care less about their award shows."
"The awards shows seem to be nothing more than big-name artists showing face to represent their studio. The shows are starting to see the flaw in their business model. You cant give awards to people who don't respect the award and you can't get someone to respect the award unless it's profitable."
"If the award doesn't get more eyes on your art or you aren't working on the next project participating in the show doesn't help you."
– Pencilowner
Teach Me Tonight
"Working in a school"
– Intelligent_Case_809
"Soon to be former teacher, this one absolutely rings true in my experience. I will have only been in it for 3 years, I have no idea how anyone in their right minds would make a career out it considering the current state of education"
– Verifiable_Human
That is completely tragic!
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Finding a career is not easy.
And many professions are stressful and prone to burnout.
So what do we do?
Apparently, we keep going.
We have to work in order to get money and survive, right?
But some career choices just don't seem to be worth the coin.
The folks on Reddit stepped up to help us avoid certain career paths.
Redditor kk-sahinul wanted to chat about the jobs that make the money not worth it, so they asked:
"What profession do you find unhealthy?"
I worked as a waiter. That's all I say.
Heavy lifting...
construction GIFGiphy"Construction, breathing in all kinds of dust all day, working in weird positions, heavy lifting, loud, dangerous tools and so on."
thatsoneuglybaby
On the Road Again...
"I imagine trucking comes with a lot of problems."
Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"My grandfather was a trucker his whole life, he started his own business and raised 3 kids off of trucking. It killed him."
"Sleep deprivation, sitting still for 10+ hours at a time, an endless stream of black coffee and later energy drinks to stay alert, eating nothing but fast food and truck stop fare."
"And even when he was 'home,' the phone rang non-stop, usually brokers asking him to run another load from VA to CA."
"And to top it all off, he would be gone for weeks at a time, missing significant chunks of his children’s lives. And all of this, just to enjoy retirement for 2 years before dying of total kidney failure."
ChallengeLate1947
Toxic
"Welding, did that for 15 years. Breathing in toxic fumes all day sneeze into a kleenex and it would be black."
Consistent-Panic-996
"My dad was a welder and after retiring got lung cancer and caught it early, but lost part of a lung. Luckily my husband is a lawyer and has a friend that does personal injury lawyer specializing in asbestos so my dad has been getting settlements from over a dozen companies. The companies were required to put $ in a fund for settlements."
ketomachine
Too Much
"EMT. Those hours are unbelievable."
Jrk16
"Why are 24 hour shifts so common in medicine? There is ample evidence that mental performance declines over even an 8 hour shift, let alone 24hrs. Seems that of all professions this is one where you'd want everyone to be sharp and fresh as much as possible."
Johnny_B_GOODBOI
"And the lack of sleep, the caffeine intake, the trauma, the assaults, the gas station food."
austinh1999
The Fields
couple dancing GIFGiphy"Farmers. My dad was exposed to toxic herbicides/pesticides and his doctors attributed his terminal stomach cancer to his decades of exposure."
username987654321a
"And that doesn’t even get into the insanely dangerous machinery they work with. I’ve read some real horror stories about guys getting caught in equipment and that’s all, folks."
kittyness02
Farmers are necessary. But not fun apparently.
Chronic
Doctor Hospital GIF by LCLGiphy"Healthcare workers, chronic lack of sleep due to understaffing, potentially combative patients, various communicable diseases, sometimes threats from patients/their families."
HollyRoller66
Shaken & Stirred
"Bartending. There are so many alcoholics on both sides of the bar you become friends with. It can be difficult to keep yourself in check."
Mowings1
"I bartended for 10 years. Stopped almost exactly a year ago and while I loved being in that industry, getting out made me realize that drinking almost every day and doing drugs just to keep being able to handle those crazy weekend shifts wasn’t as fun as I justified it to be in my head. LOL."
freakybe
Not Safe
"Bouncer/Security. In my younger days I spent time as a bouncer, bar-back, and concert security. Nothing like having a drunken a** take swings at you for trying to do your job. Or getting blind-sided by a beer bottle to the head, etc. 100% not a long term sustainable role."
Toxikfoxx
Hazards
"Service work. Healthcare & K-12 teaching particularly. Medicine sucks due to inept healthcare & residency. My mother’s a teacher - overworked, underpaid."
Saint2th
"Where I am the schools are filled with lots of environmental hazards that really are unsafe to work around let alone have kids at everyday (mold, asbestos etc) it's unreal."
"People turn a blind eye or say it's not there but I grew up exploring every corner of that big old school... it's there. My mom was a teacher for four decades, got a different rare cancer 2x. The second one killed her. Underpaid is an understatement."
Bureaucrat_hell-loop
All of Us...
"Pretty much any job you don't like doing, which seems to be most for the majority of people. Forcing yourself to get up everyday to go do a job you hate just so you can break even at the end of the month."
chickadeedeedee_
Do what you love. If you can. And perhaps try to avoid some of these whenever possible.
Do you have any jobs to add? Let us know in the comments below.
I'll gobble up pretty much anything.
But I do have my limits.
All people have culinary limitations.
Some menus, as fabulously touted as they are, just don't do it for everybody.
Everything popular is not everybody's cup of tea... or cake, for that matter.
Redditor Complete-Sweet5222 wanted to discuss the menu, so they asked:
"What is the most overrated cuisine?"
I won't do french cuisine. No snails. No way.
That's just me.
Fancy Schmancy
Chrissy Teigen Cupcake GIF by Billboard Music AwardsGiphy"Fancy cupcakes. Every ‘designer’ cupcake I’ve had has been incredibly dry. I just don’t get why they charge $5-$10 per serving, but the quality of the cake is below a Walmart sheet cake."
ThoseArentCarrots
"I make cupcakes sometimes. Over baking and day old baked products tend to dry out. A lot of the fancy desserts take time to build, which means the cupcakes have been sitting out for a while."
Stinkerma
Shock
"Not really a cuisine per se, but ‘shock food.' You know those giant milkshakes with whole slices of cake and candy on top, or quadruple cheeseburgers with so much cheese it’s running everywhere. It’s just not practical/tasty and really only exists to get a cool picture."
viillanelles
"I made the mistake of getting one of those milkshakes exactly once. It was fun to get and then you realize you just paid 20 bucks for a normal milkshake and grocery store sheet cake."
ceigetank
Be Simple
"Complicated burgers. Some a good but others have far to much on to eat without disassembly or using a knife and fork."
MedicalUprising
"Also I hate when they have overly elaborate names. I want to verbally order a cheeseburger, not the ‘big wet sloppy double daddy burger.'"
Guava_
"I totally agree. I hate being embarrassed to order something. There used to be an ice cream shop that had funky names for sizes. I had to stop going because I could not stop giggling at having to say 'no, I don’t want a zinger, I would like a zooper.”
bakay138
Premiums...
"Our family has been restaurant investors for 40 years. High end French cuisine using offal or organ meats."
"These dishes are pushed because the costs of these types of meats are very low and produce a huge profit margin. Also, the lack of experience with guests cooking these types of dishes for themselves mean very few patrons complain about authenticity. Usually a chef will throw his/her twist in the menu."
"Most customers can tell the difference between a great pizza and a mediocre one. They'll remember a great steak - but a restaurant may be paying huge premiums to fly that Waygu in from Japan or for your Flintstone tomahawk. Whereas, a local butcher shop will gladly unload offal and such with glee due to low demand. You'd be surprised as to how little we paid for cow brains for example."
rayrayrayray
No Silver?
gold GIFGiphy"Gold-flaked cuisine."
bushbeanbuddy
"God, why did it take me so long to realize you were talking about literal flakes of gold? I read this three times and thought, 'What a weird way to describe fried food.'"
bygollyollie
Gold is meant to spend not eat.
Price Point
Excited Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"The most expensive dishes. 'Yeah, man these diamonds sautéed in truffle oil and emerald dust are good, but do you have a cheeseburger?'"
gmen_forever
For All...
“'Something for everyone' restaurants. Anywhere where the menu has a ridiculously extensive offering. If I’m flipping multiple pages and not even halfway, I just know everything is about to taste questionable."
low_power_mode
"Several of my local Mexican restaurants have 8-page menus. All the dishes use some combination of tortillas, cheese, peppers, onions, avocados, beans, chicken, and beef, it's just the proportions and presentation that differ from one to another!"
MatttheBruinsfan
Pork Scents
"No cuisine, but I am sick of the whole 'bacon life' meme. It was funny for a couple of decades, but enough already. Bacon 'flavored' anything is disgusting."
SirReal_Realities
"One time in college I ordered bacon flavored popcorn."
"When I popped it in the communal microwave it smelled so awful that we had to open all the windows and evacuate until it had aired out enough for us to Febreze the rest away. It tasted like death. A couple guys threatened to beat me up if I popped any more. Some things just don't need to be bacon flavored. Popcorn is one of them."
Waffle_Maestro
Portions
"Rather than pick on a specific nationality or style of cuisine I'll talk about presentation."
"Any restaurant where portion sizes get smaller as the price goes up is the very height of epicurean pretentiousness. Like if they actually serve you enough food to be satisfied, it might as well be McDonald's."
"I spent a lot of years working in restaurants, and the ironic thing is what's on your plate is by far the smallest expense in serving that plate to you. There's no reason for tiny portions other than pretentious do*chebaggery."
McFeely_Smackup
Shrimp Then?
"Lobster. It’s fine, it’s just not really worth it’s cost imo. I also like eating it in things rather than by itself. The lobster rolls I had in Maine were much better than lobster straight up."
babythrottlepop
Food should be more affordable.
Do you have and foodie quibbles you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.