You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or so the saying goes.
The same can be said for your interactions with cops, most of whom are perfectly happy to let minor infractions slide––When was the last time you were actually ticketed for jaywalking?––provided you're not a total Karen should you interact them.
Your local police officer likely doesn't care about jaywalking or the fact that you went five miles over the speed limit unless you give him a reason to, as we learned when Redditor Takdel asked police officers: "What stupid law have you enforced just because someone was an a-hole?"
"I was driving..."
GiphyI was driving on the interstate at speed limit (70 mph) when a vehicle overtook me at about 75 mph. This is no big deal except the driver smiled arrogantly and waved as he did it.
I had nothing better to do so I pulled him over with the intention of warning him for going 5 mph over. The driver then proceeds to tell me that it is illegal for me to issue a ticket for 5 mph over the limit due to blah blah blah. I tried to explain that I could, in fact, write the ticket and he remained ADAMANT that I couldn't.
Needless to say that was the first and only time I wrote a ticket for 5 mph over.
"Was at the end of my night shift..."
Cop here. Was at the end of my night shift, about to head home when i heard a crash near the detachment. Went to investigate and saw a couple of guys walking away from a local homeless feeding shelter, and a shopping cart that was thrown at the building nearly breaking the window.
Went to go have what was supposed to be a 5 minute chat about not breaking stuff on your way home from the bar, but one of the guys kept walking away from me. Just said "nope" and "i don't have to stop for you" after i formally detained him. Wouldn't give a name or anything.
Eventually told him its an obstruction charge (which i rarely do because people are kinda jerks a lot of the time) but he kept not saying.
Ended up being arrested for mischief, held overnight in the drunk tank and a $250 ticket for obstructing a peace officer. Because he didn't want to have a 5 minute talk about not being a jerk when drunk.
"How petty are you?"
Former police officer here. there was a law where I worked that banned spitting in public. I only wrote two or three people for it, and it was because the people were huge jerk. Even the prosecutors were like "Really? Expectorating in public? How petty are you?"
"I work in a town..."
I work in a town of 4000 roughly. We have two main Streets that run the entire length of town. One is in the middle of town and is small businesses and residential. The other is main traffic and the road you take if you need to pass through fairly quickly.
Well in ten years I have only written one jaywalking ticket. Just strutted out into traffic without even looking. Car 4 up from me locked them up to avoid hitting her. Chick that jaywalked flipped her the bird. She got the ticket. Plus we have a disorderly conduct ticket that loosely applies to flipping the bird. She got that one to. No traffic control either btw. (lights or stop signs).
Once saw a fellow officer write a ticket for "bald tires" (among several other things) because the driver decided to use his First Amendment right to call the officer a slang racial slur.
"I just finished..."
Excessive noise from a vehicle. I never give that ticket because it's kind of a waste of time compared to what I could be doing, but also most people have the common sense not to be blasting their sh!t at 150 decibels around the fuzz.
I just finished a call at Walmart. It's Walmart so the parking lot is PACKED. people, kids, families everywhere. This truck starts rolling through super slow. Dude had the power stone hooked up to his sound system. Pure dick move.
Pulled him over just have the conversation about respecting others. Guy was a dick.
He got 1100 dollars worth of tickets where he could have gotten a warning if not for the attitude.
"Best case I can think of..."
Best case I can think of is how a guy turned a DUI into a 50k bond. He decided tear my interior door handles off while sitting in my back seat and trying to reassemble the lock so it will work and open the door. Except I was staring at him, telling him to stop, while he said he wasn't doing it. He tried it with both of them. So its two felony counts of damaging government property. Then I couldn't find a spring from the door handle so tampering with evidence which is another felony. Then the car he drove there in was a car he was supposed to be fixing at his job and he wasn't authorized to drive it, especially since it was taken to his shop for an oil change. he worked at a dealership and repaired cars. So he had a felony vehicle theft charge for trying to drive a customers 100k car to his ex-girlfriends house.
My call was from his ex-girlfriend (and two neighbors called) because he was screaming outside her door. He got public drunk and disorderly conduct for that. He was trying to hide when I got there but he was on the second floor of the apartment so he got another charge of obstruction. He also got the DUI charge so his license was pretty much gone because it was his 3 or 4th DUI.
Only charge that got dropped was tampering with evidence because it was too petty. I figured most of it would be dismissed, but his lawyer was horrible. He stayed in jail for like a month because his wealthy parents were tired of it and he drove that 100k car through their closed garage before he drove it to his ex-girlfriends house.
"I pulled a car over..."
I pulled a car over because he had a cover over his license plate that used to be clear (clear covers are legal), but had been damaged by the sun and weather to the point that you could barely read the plate under it (that's not legal). I stopped him with the intent of just letting him know of the problem and writing him a warning. When I told him why I stopped him, he picked up a book from his passenger seat with our state code of laws in it and asked me to show him where in the book it said he couldn't have a faded cover.
He was a real @ss about it too. I told him I wasn't going to go through his book looking for the statute but that I would go back to my car and write down the statute number for him and that he could look it up for himself. Well guess what, our warning tickets don't have a space for the statute number, but our real tickets do. So he got a ticket with the statute number on it. He paid his $100 fine without coming to court.
"We have a small children's..."
We have a small children's garden/park in our city. I was walking through one day and saw a guy picking cherry tomatoes off the plant and eating them. They're for looks and not eating and there's a sign at the entrance that says that. I politely told him to stop eating the tomatoes and pointed out the sign to him, explaining that the fruiting plants were there for the kids to see and that any food that comes from them will he picked and given to a homeless shelter. He didn't agree and picked another tomato and ate it right in front of me. I remembered that our city has an ordinance called "Intentional damage to city owned shrubs and trees" which carries around a $450 fine. He got a ticket for it that day. It's the only time anyone can ever remember that statute being used.
"It was a busy night..."
Firsthand patrol story here:
It was a busy night a few years back, and some idiot was running around lighting anything flammable on fire (dumpsters, couches, mattresses, you name it). We ended up with guys escorting fire trucks through the neighborhood just soaking down anything that could conceivably be ignited because nobody could find this guy. I was part of the group searching for him.
I passed by an apartment complex and heard a solid "thud" against the side of my patrol car. I looked over and saw a shirtless, curly haired drunk guy standing in his doorway laughing. I stopped the car to inspect for damage and planned to have a little chat with the guy if there wasn't any damage, mostly to advise him that he should (1) probably stay inside because he is drunk and (2) not throw footballs at police vehicles. He was an absolute jerk from start to finish.
Long story short, we have a city ordinance entitled "throwing missiles into a street," which is usually used to get people to stop blocking a street if they're playing ball in it. He is the only person I know of to actually be charged under that ordinance.
"What's an unspoken rule on a first date?"
EyeContact, And Not With Your Screen...
"Your phone is not part of the date."- Wonderful-Note9289
"Don't be on your phone the whole time."
"And don't talk about your ex."- HoW-LoNg-DoCtOR-YES
Think Very Carefully Before That Second Round
"Don’t drink too much."- drivethruhell
"Had a date like this."
"Within the first 90 minutes they had taken like three shots, and were on their third drink."
"I understand wanting to calm your nerves, but damn."
"The whole 'you need to play catch up LOL' isn't as cute as you think it is."
"We did not go on any other dates."- mothershipq
Drink GIFGiphyThere Is no Scent More Intoxicating Than Your Own...
"Have a shower beforehand."- Porriz
"And take it easy with the perfume/cologne."
Your date shouldn't smell you before they see you."- imnotlouise
No One Likes A Moocher...
"Don't order any extras plates to eat at home with your mom when the other is paying."- lil_wavey999
Always Be On The Same Page...
"Both should know it is a date."- mosquitohater2023
"I met a woman at an out of town festival through a friend of mine that she was hooking up with."
"She ended up taking too many shrooms and I spent an hour with her helping her to feel calmer."
"She is a traveling nurse and was going to be in my city in a few weeks so we exchange numbers and when she gets in town she asked if I want to get some sushi."
"Happy to make a new friend, we meet up, talk a lot about my friend that she’s hooking up with telling funny stories about him."
"Eventually it comes up that I’m leaving the next day for a 3 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend and she screams, 'I thought this was a f*cking date!'"
"Reeeeaaallly awkward."- redmoskeeto
Dating Wtf GIF by MaxGiphyBe Open And Transparent...
"Not a rule but never make the other person carry the conversation."
"You're both here to make an effort and give each other the respect."
"If you both want different things then let it be said after."
"No need to hurt someone's self-respect for your ego."- Arkjump
"Be there with honest intentions and nothing else."- S-Vagus
Or At Least Be Willing To Share
"Don’t order 3 full meals."- WinkMartindale
"AND expecting him to pay for all of it."
"I mean sure if you want to take some home for your mom, you pay for that yourself."- Widowhawk·
GiphyBe Prepared For A Lack Of Shared Interests...
"Leave the coin collection at home, wow her with that on the second date."- IronLion11·
Choose Your Activities Carefully
"Don't go to the movies or a fancy dinner on your first date if you don't already know this person."
"The movies is a place where you sit in silence for 2 hours staring straight ahead."
"That does not give you any opportunity to get to know the other person."
"A sit down dinner can be perfectly fine, but if you know within the first 10 minutes that you have no desire to spend any more time in this person's presence, you're stuck through the rest of the meal."
"First dates should always be intentionally short with an option to extend."
"Coffee, froyo, drinks, things that can turn into an hour of talking or 'would you like to grab a bite to eat?'"- baltinerdist
Get Your Emotions Under Control
"Don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then accidentally think about your ex while in there, have to fight back tears, and then come back to the table after way too long, with puffy red eyes."
"Whoops." - Reddit
Sad That 70S Show GIF by LaffGiphyJust Be Open And Honest... To an Extent...
"Don't: Unload on your date about your trauma."
"Gotta keep that sh*t under wraps until at least date 5."
"Do: Be yourself, unless your whole personality teeters on your traumatic history--in that case, self-deprecating humor will suffice until you can successfully abandon all hope and sit in your car for an hour to cry afterward."-Deep-Essay-4829
A Conversation Is A Two-Way Street
"Usually when asked a question I’d answer it and then hit her with a 'what about you?'"
"To ensure that I wasn’t dominating the convo."
"Let the other person speak."- bumboclawt
... NOPE...
"Bring an egg, uncooked, in your pocket."
"Casually let it fall out at the end of the date."
"This establishes you as a breadwinner, who else has the money to just carry eggs around in their pockets?"
"When your date, inevitably, wants to know more about the egg just shrug it off."
"You're not here to brag, your egg does that for you."- wearywarrior
Broken Heart Love GIF by Share It AgainGiphyIf there is one rule absolutely everyone should follow when going on a first date, it's not being beholden to rules, spoken or unspoken.
After all, the best romances are often the ones which happen organically.
Love cannot be forced.
Not to startle any of you, but death stalks us.
We all have nightmares about diseases and murderers.
But what if, in the end, we just choke on a pickle we inhaled too fast?
Maybe instead of a pickle, a little coleslaw would have been the wiser choice.
We'll never know.
The most minute things can send us packing.
Redditor SuffocatedByThighs wanted to discuss the things that can extinguish our lives in the most basic ways, so they asked:
"What simple mistake has ended lives?"
Tripping over untied shoelaces.
It can break your neck.
TIE YOUR SHOES!!!
Off the Rocks
On No Falling GIF by Outside TVGiphy"There have been too many instances of rock climbers rappelling off of the ends of their ropes, which could have been easily avoided by tying stopper knots at the ends of their ropes."
LZRDLZRD
Seconds
"I worked at a tire place for a summer and the first thing they told me was 'See that torque wrench? One mistake with this and you can kill a whole family in a matter of seconds.' I thought well, better take this thing seriously."
FrenchMicrowave
"Man for a second I was thinking 'F**k you'd have to swing that thing around fast to take out an entire family' and just bluescreened on the idea of changing a tire."
lurking_my_a**_off
How Vexing...
"THERAC-25. The world’s deadliest software error. Cost several radiation patients their lives by administering lethal amounts of radiation, and for a while, the doctors didn’t even know."
Longjumping_Event_59
"THERAC-25 suffered a particularly vexing sort of error known as a race condition. Essentially, the circuit required multiple inputs in a particular sequence, but sometimes the timing of that sequence could get thrown out of whack and it would lead to all sorts of nonsensical output."
"This is less than ideal when all you're doing is manipulating pixels, but when your software is handling radiation beams you really don't want this to happen."
"Even more vexing is that race conditions are frequently heisenbugs, which can vanish altogether when one attempts to study them. If you don't have a good idea of what's causing the error, you may never cotton on to what sort of bad input is required to test it. Under those circumstances, it's easy to write them off as imaginary, only to then find."
dancingmadkoschei
Heavy Drifting
"Leaving the stranded vehicle on the road in winter and trying to walk to get help. It happens in rural parts of our province once or twice a year and they find the body a few days later. They get disoriented and freeze."
Regina_Runner
"I got blown off a road in high winds. Heavy drifting. Less than a mile from a friend's house after I had turned around. Drifts made it impossible to complete the trip. Trying to run a mile in full blizzard conditions was a fight for my life as an in-shape 24-year-old male athlete.
"rotyag
Simple Slips
Uh Oh Omg GIF by BounceGiphy"Almost any simple mistake can end a life if you're an anesthesiologist, that's how my grandpa died in his early 60s."
dwserps
Any second. Any moment.
Stay vigilant people.
Celibacy could be better...
Oh My Wow GIFGiphy"Not being honest with doctors about Viagra. It has many dangerous drug interactions and can cause a lot of problems from what I’ve heard. Trust me the doctor ain’t gonna judge you guys, they have seen many more embarrassing things. And it would suck to die because you wanted to hide something just for it to be later stated in your death certificate."
The_upsetti_spagetti
Check the Numbers
"As a healthcare worker, giving the wrong amount of insulin."
UzumakiHorror
"During the first shift of my first clinical rotation in nursing school, I watched a nurse draw up insulin out of an auto-injector pen that was CLEARLY marked to specifically not do that AND she was drastically wrong about the dosage and almost killed a guy by giving him essentially like a hundred times the intended dose."
someguynamedg
Stay In
"Pulling the knife out of someone."
rcadephantom
"Yeah, I did that but it was a broken tree branch that had impaled my leg. Without even thinking I pulled it out. Blood started gushing so I pulled off my shirt and tied it into a pressure bandage. I was lucky I didn’t bleed to death."
Olddog_Newtricks2001
"Shock is an IQ reducer. I once sliced a bit off the side of my hand with a broken glass, and sort of dazedly picked off the piece of me and tried to stick it back on. It did not work."
UncannyTarotSpread
Stay Dirty
"Mixing cleaning ingredients."
Jonnysource
"My dad was trying to unclog his kitchen drain and mixed drain cleaners by adding one then adding another a few minutes later. It started bubbling and he began coughing intensely. I heard him coughing from the other room, saw what happened, and opened the nearby window to get rid of the chlorine gas he just produced."
"I forgot there was a large hive of wasps that had moved into that window and they did not appreciate this unexpected interruption. I took him to the emergency room for the gas exposure and it was tough explaining that the wasp stings were not why we were there."
CharmingTuber
Dear God
Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy"A friend’s husband locked himself out of their home. He tried to get in through a window that had security bars. While squeezing through his foot slipped and he essentially hung himself on the window sill."
Cokej01
Life is fleeting. Here is proof.
LIVE!! But live smart.
