Police Officers Describe The Dumbest Ways A Criminal Tried To Escape Custody
If you're American, you have probably heard of the show COPS or seen any of about a million law enforcement reality shows that are on the air at any given time. We've watched bounty hunters chase criminals around a small island and wondered "Where is buddy gonna go? It's an ISLAND."
We've watched more failed fence-jumps than we can count. We've chuckled our way through DUI stops that turned into comedy routines or dance parties. More people try to run away than makes any kind of sense to us, particularly in situations where they're obviously not going to successfully escape. That got us wondering, does this dumb stuff ever actually work? So we turned to Reddit where one user had asked:
Long story short, the answer is no. This dumb stuff almost never works - but it makes for great stories!
Not My Pants
A guy had green in his pocket. He tried to convince me that it wasn't his pair of pants and therefore he couldn't be punished for having drugs in the pockets...
Big Mike And The Little Bike
Knew a guy in college named Big Mike...guy was probably 6'5, 300+ pounds. Anyway, being chased by a campus cop one night he decided that his best bet was to hide.
Imagine a giant human quietly crouched behind a ten-speed bike at an otherwise empty bike rack...yeah, he was caught. Really smart guy, but apparently that did not extend to finding appropriate hiding places.
This Dude Arrested Himself
My Aunt is a cop and she tells this story wherever she goes.
She had gotten a call about a very drunk man singing in the street with an open bottle of beer. She arrives and sees him standing in the middle of the road. She turns on her lights to signify she is in a police car and he runs for it, or attempts to. First, he runs to a house on her left and he hits the mailbox and falls over. Then he proceeds to get up and run to the cop car where he attempts to get in the passenger's side. After trying for a couple of seconds he squats down a bit and bangs on the window and says:
"You have got to help me, there is a cop chasing me and I think they are coming this way."
She proceeded to unlock the rear doors and he gets in and then she locks them again and takes him to the precinct. He spent the night in the holding cell and went home with a warning for being disruptive at 3am and being drunk in a public place. Apparently he didn't remember it at all the next morning.
Truly A Light In The Darkness
Back in the '90's there was a fashion for trainers that had red lights in the sole/heel that lit up with every step. One night we had a call to a burglary and the lad doing the burgling was wearing these trainers. He ran off across some nearby wasteland, helpfully signalling every step.
Running Away From Home
My colleague was about to start the process of writing a ticket and the guy suddenly starts sprinting away, ditching his backpack, hat and coat. Thing is, we were outside his address. We still had his driving license, and his car was still running. He made it one mile down the road before trying to jump a garden fence, failing, bringing the fence down and knocking himself unconscious. Talk about dramatic.
"Quit Running, It's Hot Out Here"
So i'm not a law enforcement officer, but I've worked in a prison for almost 10 years now.
So the answer here is.......any time they try to run.
Like guy, this is a prison. You can only run so far. Sure you may get away with whatever contraband you have, but man, I've seen your face. You've been here 20 years, and I know where you live. Quit running, it's hot out here.
My family owns an automotive shop, we have a big rottweiler that runs loose around our yard when we are closed. This dog is big, strong, and mean (to strangers, he is a f*cking angel to us). This dude is running from the cops, it's Sunday, we are closed, he hopped our fence to get away from the police.
Luckily we were at the shop that day because we were rearranging some racks. Our dog, named Oso (spanish for Bear) ran after him, nearly bit him on the ass. I had to restrain the dog. After I got a hold of the dog, the guy just walked over to the cops f*cking crying.
The cops thought it was hilarious.
Nearly every foot pursuit I've had has been stopped by flora. I don't know what I've done that made mother nature owe me one, but every time I've chased someone I've ended up pulling them out of a bush. One guy I had for DUI took off in the middle of field sobriety tests and ran straight into a thorn bush. Instead of going in after him, I just waited patiently while he freed himself, at which point he just walked over to me and put his hands behind his back.
Had a guy with a warrant for drugs and burglary. He tried to give me his brothers name. Guess he forgot we went to school together since kindergarten.
Confessions Of A Drunken Moron
Not a cop, but a former criminal here. I had gone to a bar with my ex and we got super wasted. Some dudes were following me around and being obnoxious. My ex was playing pool and saw what was going on and came up and cracked the leader of the group over his head with a pool stick. Blood everywhere. He wase on the ground bleeding all over next to a broken pool stick. I had light grey jeans on and they had blood spattered on them. I lived walking distance away from the bar so we both take off running for home. We get separated and I'm running by myself, covered in blood.
A cop comes out of nowhere and grabs me and puts me in the car. I am super drunk and being obnoxious about everything. Turns out I had a warrant. They take me in to the station to book me. I was sitting alone in booking handcuffed to the bench for what felt like forever. I decide that since I only live a couple houses up from the police station I can slip the cuff and make a run for it. So I do. I get almost to the exit and all of a sudden I'm smooshed up against the wall. Before I know it I am double-cuffed to the bench.
In my drunk mind I thought this would totally go smoothly. Didn't really work out. Glad those days are behind me.
Not a cop myself, but one told me this story when he was helping me recover my stolen bike (a great story itself).
Some kid stole a bike and took off with this cop giving chase. It's kid on bike vs man on foot, but after about 30 seconds the kid throws down the bike and takes off on foot. I guess he thought if he left the bike they'd leave him alone?
Anyways, the cop just grabs the bike, hops on and runs him down on the bike that he stole. Insta-justice.
There were some people ice skating on a pond that was off limits. We showed up and everyone got off the pond except for 1 guy. He skated with glee as he taunted us and yelling:
"You can't do anything to me if I stay out here!"
One of the responding officers had played ice hockey in college. He asked the crowd,
_"Does anyone have a size 9 hockey skate"? _
Someone offered their skates. The officer put them on and skated with fury right at the rogue skater. The rogue skater tried to get away, then he tried to surrender but the die had been cast. The hockey playing police officer checked the guy and sent him flying.
We arrested him for. Where did he think he was going to go? He was on a freaking pond.
Don't Laugh From Your Hiding Place
Went to a domestic in the middle of the night with the boyfriend long gone by the time we arrived. After chatting with the girlfriend for 20 minutes I did a quick walk through the yard to say I made an effort. Yard has a few piles of scrap and 4 rusted cars. I can't see anyone, so turn to leave and walk straight into a massive spider web.
I screamed and the boyfriend/offender hiding under a pile of metal sheets laughs.
Was an ex-manager at a movie theater.
Some young adults/teenagers decided they wanted to steal something, so they tried to steal a wet floor sign (one that was like 10 years old and was filthy)
What they didn't account for was that we were hosting a police event, there were K9 units, police officers in full uniform, we even had 2 officers on horseback in the parking lot.
So 3 these people are trying to get away on foot and half of them on skateboard. The 3 or so on foot are being chased by a good dozen police officers.
2 are trying to get away on skateboard..and had horseback mounted police chasing them.
All of them were caught within 5 minutes.
Have you ever seen mounted horseback police chase down a perp? It's glorious.
Championship Wrestler, Terrible At Fences
I was working Oktoberfest with another MP, driving around in a golf cart making sure no one got out of hand. We notice one guy in particular who has all the signs. Yelling, aggressive, spilling beer (you have to be pretty drunk to spill a $7 beer.) So we start driving over to make sure someone in his group can keep control over him.
He sees us coming and takes off running.
The entire event is surrounded by a 10 foot chain link fence. There are 2 openings, the main entrance/exit in the front and a staff entrance on one side. He starts running for the staff entrance. We drive behind him, but start to notice he's not quite headed for the giant opening in the fence. Instead, he ends up about 6 feet to the right of it and just starts climbing the fence. We just rolled through the opening and waited for him to drop on the other side.
That was the easy part, though. The hard part was getting the cuffs on the f*cker. It took 3 grown men. We found out later he was a state champion wrestler in high school.
Saw a well known local (who had a warrant) going into his house, so I shouted to him. He turned, looked and scurried inside his house and locked the door.
_"Mark, come and answer I know you are in there." _
A fake high pitched voice replied:
_"Mark isn't here!" _
I told him how stupid he sounded but he still wouldn't answer the door. Ended up kicking the door in and breaking the frame.
I didn't know people were this stupid until I did this job!
The Best And Worst
I have both a best and worst, all from the same party.
Setting the scene:
It's New Years Eve and we are at a big high school party - everyone is getting absolutely hammered and I was splitting a handle with one other guy and we are doing a great job at that. Naturally, the cops show up and everyone tries to run or hide. A lot of us try to hide upstairs and get caught.
My buddy (who I split the handle of captain with) is being led down the steps in front of me by a cop that knows him from loads of previous issues in this small borough. He decides to make a break for it since his house is down the street.
He gets to the front door - locked.
Back door - locked.
Jumps off the deck - onto his face.
Tries the garage - locked.
Shimmies between the garage and the fence to keep running. Makes it to the gravel driveway and falls several times on his face.
The cop was just casually walking behind him and finally picks him up on the third or fourth fall. My buddy walks in the door, handcuffed, screaming "motherf*cker tasered me!" The officer did not. He just fell repeatedly. He also ended up with alcohol poisoning.
*Now for the good one: *
While all of this was going on, my other friend slipped into the basement where he found a massive pile of dirty laundry, slipped in and proceeded to watch an entire basketball game through an eye hole he made while all his friends were upstairs getting arrested and picked up by parents.
Ok I am NOT a cop but...
I was once boating on a lake not long ago and noticed a boat that just seemed overcrowded to me. It also look pretty low in the water. Thinking it might be taking on water I went to see if they needed help.
As I got close I see a big splash and hear a kah-ploosh. As I pulled alongside one of them says "sh*t... he's not a cop. Quick get the green" One guy jumps over the side and dives only to come up empty handed.
I was wearing an old _The Police _concert shirt.
Window Removal Service
Served a warrant at a residence in an upscale neighborhood (or what passes for upscale in rural Oklahoma). One of VERY few homes in our city/state that actually had a basement. The wanted individual was hiding in said basement. The door to the basement was hidden as part of (behind) the pantry. Once he realized we discovered the basement access, in a panic, he tried to escape out of the tiny basement (slider) window. Wasn't a big dude, but that opening was small and he got himself stuck. I mean REALLY stuck.
We wound up having to have the window completely removed with him in it, and then cut him out of the frame.
We've all said something stupid, let's not lie to ourselves.
It's okay to say something stupid. It showcases the real person on the inside, that we're all flawed, imperfect, and made of cooky combinations of words that don't necessarily line up to make sense. Sometimes we're nervous in a situation, other times we're just hitting 'Quick Reply' in our brains and what comes out doens't work, but whatever the reason, you for sure are going to remember it, late at night, for the rest of your life.
What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?
You may not have to change your home address because of these moments, but you should probably reconsider how many public outings you go to afterwards.
Should Probably Never Shop At That Store Again
"When the cashier said "Have a nice day", and I replied with "No, thanks".
"Background: I wasnt thinking straight that day, and thought they said "Do you want a bag"
That's. How. Twins. Work?
"Her: the twins are 3 years old"
"Me: Both of them?"
"Oh no this unearthed a memory i had buried from kindergarten lmao"
"We had a set of twins in our classroom and once on their birthday party I said "your brother got such a cool party, i hope yours is nice like this too" to one of them and he was like "yeah, this one"
"4 year old me was not a very bright kid"
That's. How. Death. Works...
"Watching the documentary 'The Last Dance' when a Kobe interview pops up -"
"Me: "Wow, they must have filmed this before Kobe died."
"My wife: "Yeah, obviously…."
The cringe comes out of nowhere, and you're not even sure how you were able to ask something so incredibly stupid, but here you are. Lounging in the stupid air.
You Should Have Asked What "Nothing" Tastes Like Next
"In my head I was wondering what one pound of water would look like in terms of volume. What I said out loud however was "How much does a pound of water weigh?"
Keep Up With Me
"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check."
"In my car."
"Which I had driven to work."
Black Is White, White Is Black
"I don't understand why people place bets on who wins, why not just place bets on who loses?"
"Yeah took me a minute to register what I said..."
And then there's these stories, where the person is probably better off cutting off any human contact henceforth going forward. These are rough to get through, folks.
Should Probably Have A Chat With HR After This
"I was about 4 months into my current job, feeling confident being fresh off the contract-to-hire period, now moved into a coveted full time role. While walking back to my office from the morning kanban I was stopped by my boss, head peeking out of the office:"
"Boss: "Hey TheMediator, do you have a sec?"
"Me: "For you, I've got lots of secs!"
"Boss: wide-eyes, mouth dropped"
"If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase "lots of secs" out loud. Preferably, not to your boss though."
You Don't Need College Anymore. Go Home. Bury Your Head In The Sand.
"In my freshman year of college I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester one girl walked from the coed showers to her dorm room in her towel still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says…"
"I know I look stunning…(sarcastically)"
"To which I replied, "don't flatter yourself."
"I had to slid a note under her door explaining I was tongue tied as she was beautiful and I meant to say "don't be hard on yourself, you look great." (Or something to that nature). We became good friends."
It's In The Descriptor?
"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."
"It's been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."
Oh Good Lord...
"Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his moms funeral."
"Jesus Christ this is the worst one on this thread. What was his response?"
"He looked at me and then the casket and kind of smirked. I awkwardly started to try and explain and just said "I'm an idiot. You know I love you. Talk to you in a bit." He makes fun of me now and I can't stop laughing. It's a positive painful memory."
Own up to your mistakes. You'll garner more respect by acknowledging the awkward things you say, however, it's perfectly fine to laugh about it in the moment. That's probably the easiest way to escape the deep, deep shame.
The advice "fake it til you make it," though often said with at least a hint of sarcasm, does carry quite a bit of wisdom.
By simply putting one foot in front of the other, weathering the chaos of not knowing what's happening as you learn as fast as possible, we can find ourselves further than we expected.
Once we're there, reaping the fruits of all our "faking," we somehow begin to take on a new identity in people's eyes They assume we've always been in control and known what was going on. They defer to us for advice.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. So we keep on faking it.
Redditor espectro11 asked:
"What's your 'I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far' moment?"
Many Redditors discussed their experiences navigating the intimidating environment of job applications, interviews, and offers.
Oh Right, Getting Paid
"I gave my resume to fancy private school (I'm a teacher, but new to the field) and I didn't expect a call back. But they called me today to ask my expected salary and I said 'I don't know what the average is. Let me Google it.' "
"Ya girl was not prepared."
"When I went for a walk-in interview looking like crap and they hired me on the spot. I get they were hiring for a new store, but they up and said 'if you want the job it's yours, when can you start?' "
"Deada** didn't think I'd make it that far."
Outside the Box
"Years ago I was applying to a bunch of copywriting jobs and feeling frustrated because I wasnt hearing back from any of the places I was applying to."
"It was especially frustrating because I was putting in all this time on cover letters and I felt like nobody was even reading them, so I said, 'Fu** it, I'm gonna write one that is more me.' I thought it was a dumb idea and never imagined that it would work, but somehow it did."
"I applied with this cover letter and the subject line "Copywriter: Will Work for Beer" to a job that I was very underqualified for. It managed to catch the eye of the headhunter for the ad agency and was enough to get me an interview. Shortly after that I was hired and ended up working there for a few years, but I remember thinking on my first day, 'I can't believe that actually worked.' "
Just Not the Right Fit
"An interview at Google. The 20 years younger than me was describing the peer review system."
"I responded with 'Jesus, that sounds awful.' "
"I did not get the job."
Others also shared experiences that centered on their working lives. But these stories weren't about being hired or interviewed.
These were accounts of long-developing success stories that they never would have predicted.
A Winding Road
"My entire legal career"
"I have four degrees and a 10 year career in commerical litigation. I just wrapped up a $200mil trusts lawsuit."
"I started at uni doing theatre and stand up comedy. I have no fu**ing idea where I turned to get here."
"Started at a very small company doing sales straight out of college. I went about messaging big corporate players (who obviously would never do business with us since our size) and was laughed at by my new colleagues for even trying."
"2 weeks later My boss was asking me what we (a team of 6) should say on the conference call with Toshiba Buyers."
Putting Fires Out
"Me at work. I feel like every issue that comes up has me unprepared. But I am always praised for my good work."
"So, I assume I have imposter syndrome and keep doing what I am doing."
So next time you find yourself ruling a possibility out completely, maybe take just a few seconds to imagine it actually occurred and prepare.
You just never know.
I'm going to be perfectly honest––I'm a city boy. I'm not a huge fan of hiking or camping. I happen to be a huge fan of running water. Have you heard of it? It's great. Highly recommended.
I've also, on a more humorous note, watched far too many horror films over the years and don't particularly like idea of running off into the woods only to piss off some demon that was perfectly fine until I arrived. I also have immense respect for our friendly neighborhood serial killers and demonstrate this regularly by staying out of their territory.
Those who love the great outdoors had plenty to share after Redditor Your_Normal_Loser asked the online community, "
Hikers of Reddit, what is the weirdest or creepiest thing you've come across while hiking?"
"The only reason..."
"When we were exploring the Australian Outback as university students, my friend and I found an old, tightly wrapped plastic bag with five or six damaged wallets along shrubbery at the base of a cliff.
The only reason we opened it up was because we were so remote - hundreds of kilometres from any town or tourist attraction - that it was strange to see garbage out there. All the cards were in female names and birthdates placed them in their late teens to early 20s. Some lived in the Northern Territory but one was in Sydney and another from Queensland. At the time we figured rock climbers must have stored their valuables in the bag and then lost track of it. I'll never forget the strange look the police officer gave us when we handed them in."
You see... this is why I wouldn't go mess around in the Australian Outback.
I also may or may not have watched Wolf Creek one too many times.
"A recliner on a small hill with a hole dug out in the middle and water bottles all over the place."
"A trashed campsite..."
"A trashed campsite complete with the tent cut open...
...do you report these things, or what?"
Or maybe not... you might want to turn back.
"The walls were completely plastered..."
"I was walking in a thick forest and came across an opening. In the center there was a shack made of lumber, with a bench built into it that was slightly leaned back.
The walls were completely plastered in porn."
Well... that's one way to get off.
"The man stopped talking..."
"I was backpacking with a few friends. A few days in the middle of nowhere, a man approached our camp as we were cooking dinner to say hi. We talked about our routes for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, he told us that he had had a vasectomy in his 30s after his 2nd child. Then somehow his wife had gotten pregnant with his 3rd child. He didn't believe this was possible, so he demanded a DNA test to see if he was actually the father. He was. Still, he explained that he had his doubts and thought that his wife must have fixed the DNA test.
My friends and I were in our 20s and had no idea why this guy was telling us this. We all just nodded and smiled.
The man stopped talking and then just walked away into the night."
"I stepped in..."
"I stepped in and fell over a cow carcass on a night hike. It was a bright moonlit night but I didn't see it in the shadows. Thankfully it was mostly dry."
"We still have no idea..."
"I was in the woods with three friends at night. A friend's house was nearby and I was getting hungry so I went inside to find some food. Another friend came inside with me. Two friends were still outside.
Later on, one of the two who outside came in and sees the indoor friend on the couch next to me. They panic and immediately run back outside.
I poke my head out the door asking what's going on, only to hear them yell as loudly as they can, "THAT'S NOT KEVIN"
Everyone comes inside and calms down a bit, and the story comes out. They thought the friend who was indoors with me (Kevin) had been outside with them this entire time. Why? Because in the darkness of the woods they saw a silhouette about the same height walking alongside them silently, then at some point it ran away and they were chasing it thinking Kevin was running off for some reason. The reason my friend yelled, "That's not Kevin" was to stop the last outdoor friend from chasing whoever was out there deeper into the woods.
We still have no idea who that was or why they didn't even speak."
This story sent a chill running down my spine.
Who was that?!
Perhaps figuring it out would be even scarier.
"Went hiking with my dad..."
"Went hiking with my dad one day over a ridge. A girl from the group in front of us tripped and slid down one side and was just able to hold on to the tiniest branch from the only tree around. Had she slid down all the way she certainly would be dead or massively injured!"
"I was trying to make my way across..."
"I was hiking in Washington sometime in December. I was trying to make my way across a river but the bridge was out. I was walking along the shore looking for a shallow spot but couldn't find one. I saw some footprints leading down the bank, my thought was that someone was trying to do what I was doing and decided to track the prints to see if they crossed. It was not easy but I followed the prints for about a mile. As I approached what looked like a crossing I heard a loud BANG like a stick hitting a tree. I froze for a few seconds and heard no other noises. I just slowly back up keeping my eyes on the other side of the river. Could not shake the feeling that I was being watched. Got the hell out of there quick as I could."
There are few feelings creepier than the feeling of being watched. It makes you feel like you've been violated in some way.
Thankfully you got out of there!
"I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment..."
"I was hiking with some friends, and I saw a cluster of butterflies on the ground. I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment until I realized they were congregating on a pool of blood. It turns out that someone had been hiking on the bluffs above earlier that day, and had fallen off and died."
Sooo... still want to go hiking or camping? None of this changed your mind? None of it?
It was nice knowing you. I'll stick with my running water.
Have some creepy stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Have some experiences of your own? Have you also survived the hospitality industry? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments below!
Time is of the essence. And time is not definable. Those are lessons we learn as we get older; as times passes and fluctuates in front of us.
Time is always fleeting yet always catches up to us. I find myself shocked when I wake up on certain days and realize I'm a particular age of my parent that sticks out for me.
Like, how did that happen? I guess I should just be thankful I'm still here to witness it all.
Redditor u/TW1103 wanted to discuss the meaning... of time and all of its affects by asking:
What fact really puts the scale of time into an insane perspective?
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy
"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV TimeSeason 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Storywilliam shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy
"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.