
Police Officers Describe The Dumbest Ways A Criminal Tried To Escape Custody
[rebelmouse-image 18358617 is_animated_gif=If you're American, you have probably heard of the show COPS or seen any of about a million law enforcement reality shows that are on the air at any given time. We've watched bounty hunters chase criminals around a small island and wondered "Where is buddy gonna go? It's an ISLAND."
We've watched more failed fence-jumps than we can count. We've chuckled our way through DUI stops that turned into comedy routines or dance parties. More people try to run away than makes any kind of sense to us, particularly in situations where they're obviously not going to successfully escape. That got us wondering, does this dumb stuff ever actually work? So we turned to Reddit where one user had asked:
Police Officers of Reddit, what's the dumbest way a criminal tried to get away from you?
Long story short, the answer is no. This dumb stuff almost never works - but it makes for great stories!
Not My Pants
[rebelmouse-image 18358618 is_animated_gif=A guy had green in his pocket. He tried to convince me that it wasn't his pair of pants and therefore he couldn't be punished for having drugs in the pockets...
Big Mike And The Little Bike
[rebelmouse-image 18355091 is_animated_gif=Knew a guy in college named Big Mike...guy was probably 6'5, 300+ pounds. Anyway, being chased by a campus cop one night he decided that his best bet was to hide.
Imagine a giant human quietly crouched behind a ten-speed bike at an otherwise empty bike rack...yeah, he was caught. Really smart guy, but apparently that did not extend to finding appropriate hiding places.
This Dude Arrested Himself
[rebelmouse-image 18358619 is_animated_gif=My Aunt is a cop and she tells this story wherever she goes.
She had gotten a call about a very drunk man singing in the street with an open bottle of beer. She arrives and sees him standing in the middle of the road. She turns on her lights to signify she is in a police car and he runs for it, or attempts to. First, he runs to a house on her left and he hits the mailbox and falls over. Then he proceeds to get up and run to the cop car where he attempts to get in the passenger's side. After trying for a couple of seconds he squats down a bit and bangs on the window and says:
"You have got to help me, there is a cop chasing me and I think they are coming this way."
She proceeded to unlock the rear doors and he gets in and then she locks them again and takes him to the precinct. He spent the night in the holding cell and went home with a warning for being disruptive at 3am and being drunk in a public place. Apparently he didn't remember it at all the next morning.
Truly A Light In The Darkness
[rebelmouse-image 18358620 is_animated_gif=Back in the '90's there was a fashion for trainers that had red lights in the sole/heel that lit up with every step. One night we had a call to a burglary and the lad doing the burgling was wearing these trainers. He ran off across some nearby wasteland, helpfully signalling every step.
Running Away From Home
[rebelmouse-image 18358621 is_animated_gif=My colleague was about to start the process of writing a ticket and the guy suddenly starts sprinting away, ditching his backpack, hat and coat. Thing is, we were outside his address. We still had his driving license, and his car was still running. He made it one mile down the road before trying to jump a garden fence, failing, bringing the fence down and knocking himself unconscious. Talk about dramatic.
"Quit Running, It's Hot Out Here"
[rebelmouse-image 18358622 is_animated_gif=So i'm not a law enforcement officer, but I've worked in a prison for almost 10 years now.
So the answer here is.......any time they try to run.
Like guy, this is a prison. You can only run so far. Sure you may get away with whatever contraband you have, but man, I've seen your face. You've been here 20 years, and I know where you live. Quit running, it's hot out here.
Good Puppers
[rebelmouse-image 18356275 is_animated_gif=My family owns an automotive shop, we have a big rottweiler that runs loose around our yard when we are closed. This dog is big, strong, and mean (to strangers, he is a f*cking angel to us). This dude is running from the cops, it's Sunday, we are closed, he hopped our fence to get away from the police.
Luckily we were at the shop that day because we were rearranging some racks. Our dog, named Oso (spanish for Bear) ran after him, nearly bit him on the ass. I had to restrain the dog. After I got a hold of the dog, the guy just walked over to the cops f*cking crying.
The cops thought it was hilarious.
Thanks, Nature!
[rebelmouse-image 18358623 is_animated_gif=Nearly every foot pursuit I've had has been stopped by flora. I don't know what I've done that made mother nature owe me one, but every time I've chased someone I've ended up pulling them out of a bush. One guy I had for DUI took off in the middle of field sobriety tests and ran straight into a thorn bush. Instead of going in after him, I just waited patiently while he freed himself, at which point he just walked over to me and put his hands behind his back.
Dude...
[rebelmouse-image 18358624 is_animated_gif=Had a guy with a warrant for drugs and burglary. He tried to give me his brothers name. Guess he forgot we went to school together since kindergarten.
Confessions Of A Drunken Moron
[rebelmouse-image 18348680 is_animated_gif=Not a cop, but a former criminal here. I had gone to a bar with my ex and we got super wasted. Some dudes were following me around and being obnoxious. My ex was playing pool and saw what was going on and came up and cracked the leader of the group over his head with a pool stick. Blood everywhere. He wase on the ground bleeding all over next to a broken pool stick. I had light grey jeans on and they had blood spattered on them. I lived walking distance away from the bar so we both take off running for home. We get separated and I'm running by myself, covered in blood.
A cop comes out of nowhere and grabs me and puts me in the car. I am super drunk and being obnoxious about everything. Turns out I had a warrant. They take me in to the station to book me. I was sitting alone in booking handcuffed to the bench for what felt like forever. I decide that since I only live a couple houses up from the police station I can slip the cuff and make a run for it. So I do. I get almost to the exit and all of a sudden I'm smooshed up against the wall. Before I know it I am double-cuffed to the bench.
In my drunk mind I thought this would totally go smoothly. Didn't really work out. Glad those days are behind me.
Insta-Justice!
[rebelmouse-image 18358625 is_animated_gif=Not a cop myself, but one told me this story when he was helping me recover my stolen bike (a great story itself).
Some kid stole a bike and took off with this cop giving chase. It's kid on bike vs man on foot, but after about 30 seconds the kid throws down the bike and takes off on foot. I guess he thought if he left the bike they'd leave him alone?
Anyways, the cop just grabs the bike, hops on and runs him down on the bike that he stole. Insta-justice.
Ice Hockey
[rebelmouse-image 18358626 is_animated_gif=There were some people ice skating on a pond that was off limits. We showed up and everyone got off the pond except for 1 guy. He skated with glee as he taunted us and yelling:
"You can't do anything to me if I stay out here!"
One of the responding officers had played ice hockey in college. He asked the crowd,
_"Does anyone have a size 9 hockey skate"? _
Someone offered their skates. The officer put them on and skated with fury right at the rogue skater. The rogue skater tried to get away, then he tried to surrender but the die had been cast. The hockey playing police officer checked the guy and sent him flying.
We arrested him for. Where did he think he was going to go? He was on a freaking pond.
Don't Laugh From Your Hiding Place
[rebelmouse-image 18358627 is_animated_gif=Went to a domestic in the middle of the night with the boyfriend long gone by the time we arrived. After chatting with the girlfriend for 20 minutes I did a quick walk through the yard to say I made an effort. Yard has a few piles of scrap and 4 rusted cars. I can't see anyone, so turn to leave and walk straight into a massive spider web.
I screamed and the boyfriend/offender hiding under a pile of metal sheets laughs.
Promptly arrested.
"It's Glorious."
[rebelmouse-image 18358628 is_animated_gif=Was an ex-manager at a movie theater.
Some young adults/teenagers decided they wanted to steal something, so they tried to steal a wet floor sign (one that was like 10 years old and was filthy)
What they didn't account for was that we were hosting a police event, there were K9 units, police officers in full uniform, we even had 2 officers on horseback in the parking lot.
So 3 these people are trying to get away on foot and half of them on skateboard. The 3 or so on foot are being chased by a good dozen police officers.
2 are trying to get away on skateboard..and had horseback mounted police chasing them.
All of them were caught within 5 minutes.
Have you ever seen mounted horseback police chase down a perp? It's glorious.
Championship Wrestler, Terrible At Fences
[rebelmouse-image 18358631 is_animated_gif=I was working Oktoberfest with another MP, driving around in a golf cart making sure no one got out of hand. We notice one guy in particular who has all the signs. Yelling, aggressive, spilling beer (you have to be pretty drunk to spill a $7 beer.) So we start driving over to make sure someone in his group can keep control over him.
He sees us coming and takes off running.
The entire event is surrounded by a 10 foot chain link fence. There are 2 openings, the main entrance/exit in the front and a staff entrance on one side. He starts running for the staff entrance. We drive behind him, but start to notice he's not quite headed for the giant opening in the fence. Instead, he ends up about 6 feet to the right of it and just starts climbing the fence. We just rolled through the opening and waited for him to drop on the other side.
That was the easy part, though. The hard part was getting the cuffs on the f*cker. It took 3 grown men. We found out later he was a state champion wrestler in high school.
Hi, Mark!
[rebelmouse-image 18358632 is_animated_gif=Saw a well known local (who had a warrant) going into his house, so I shouted to him. He turned, looked and scurried inside his house and locked the door.
Whilst shouting:
_"Mark, come and answer I know you are in there." _
A fake high pitched voice replied:
_"Mark isn't here!" _
I told him how stupid he sounded but he still wouldn't answer the door. Ended up kicking the door in and breaking the frame.
I didn't know people were this stupid until I did this job!
The Best And Worst
[rebelmouse-image 18358633 is_animated_gif=I have both a best and worst, all from the same party.
Setting the scene:
It's New Years Eve and we are at a big high school party - everyone is getting absolutely hammered and I was splitting a handle with one other guy and we are doing a great job at that. Naturally, the cops show up and everyone tries to run or hide. A lot of us try to hide upstairs and get caught.
The Worst:
My buddy (who I split the handle of captain with) is being led down the steps in front of me by a cop that knows him from loads of previous issues in this small borough. He decides to make a break for it since his house is down the street.
He gets to the front door - locked.
Back door - locked.
Jumps off the deck - onto his face.
Tries the garage - locked.
Shimmies between the garage and the fence to keep running. Makes it to the gravel driveway and falls several times on his face.
The cop was just casually walking behind him and finally picks him up on the third or fourth fall. My buddy walks in the door, handcuffed, screaming "motherf*cker tasered me!" The officer did not. He just fell repeatedly. He also ended up with alcohol poisoning.
*Now for the good one: *
While all of this was going on, my other friend slipped into the basement where he found a massive pile of dirty laundry, slipped in and proceeded to watch an entire basketball game through an eye hole he made while all his friends were upstairs getting arrested and picked up by parents.
The Police
[rebelmouse-image 18358634 is_animated_gif=Ok I am NOT a cop but...
I was once boating on a lake not long ago and noticed a boat that just seemed overcrowded to me. It also look pretty low in the water. Thinking it might be taking on water I went to see if they needed help.
As I got close I see a big splash and hear a kah-ploosh. As I pulled alongside one of them says "sh*t... he's not a cop. Quick get the green" One guy jumps over the side and dives only to come up empty handed.
I was wearing an old _The Police _concert shirt.
Window Removal Service
[rebelmouse-image 18358635 is_animated_gif=Served a warrant at a residence in an upscale neighborhood (or what passes for upscale in rural Oklahoma). One of VERY few homes in our city/state that actually had a basement. The wanted individual was hiding in said basement. The door to the basement was hidden as part of (behind) the pantry. Once he realized we discovered the basement access, in a panic, he tried to escape out of the tiny basement (slider) window. Wasn't a big dude, but that opening was small and he got himself stuck. I mean REALLY stuck.
We wound up having to have the window completely removed with him in it, and then cut him out of the frame.
H/T: Reddit
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
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When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"

These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
– secretkpr
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
– PowerstrokeMe
Big-Hearted Mom
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
– spetzie55
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
– tonydanzascaulk
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
– needsawholecroissant
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
– Kursch50
True Parentification
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
– lb47513343
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
– mopedarmy
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
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TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
– BuddhistSlater
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
– merryman1
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"Just sh*t"
– HatFromStraw
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
– ExtraBitterSpecial
Powerful Insecurity
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
– tenamonth
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
– FinnProtoyeen
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
– DrowningInBrokeness
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
– kmartfreak
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
– Afreshnewsketckbook
Listlessness
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
– Aistadar
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
- KnlghtLlghts
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
– Electrical_Age_336
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
– sunfacer
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
– AlterEdward
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
– sagieday
Help Yourself
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
– DavosLostFingers
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
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