People With Deceased Parents Admit What They Wished They Had Done Together[rebelmouse-image 18358307 is_animated_gif=
Losing anyone if life is a difficult thing to go through, especially if its a parent. When your time is cut short with those you love, you begin to feel like some things have gotten pushed aside before you had the chance to share them. Life is short and it's important to prioritize what is truly important.
People who've lost a parent, what is something you wish you'd done before you ran out of time?
This might inspire you to seize the moment and connect with those you love.
Time is so precious that every moment matters[rebelmouse-image 18358308 is_animated_gif=
Even with what I did manage to do before my daddy passed, it still wasn't enough.
I was 28 when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He passed October 31, 2002, 1 year and 8 days after his diagnosis.
We knew it was terminal. So we did everything he wanted. Everything we wanted.
We had time to say goodbye. And time to be at peace with it.
But even now, 16 years later, not a day goes by where I don't have a moment where I wish I could call my daddy and tell him about something that is entirely mundane.
I miss him dearly.
Make time for mom[rebelmouse-image 18358309 is_animated_gif=
My Mom died suddenly while I was away at college. I thought I was a pretty good daughter to her but now that I am an adult I wish I had done more. I really wish I had spent more quality time with her . As a teenager I loved going out with friends and boyfriends but she adored when I wanted to do something, anything with her. I wish I had chosen her more frequently. I never truly appreciated her and all she tried to do for us until I had my own children. I miss you Mom!
Grudges are a waste of your precious time[rebelmouse-image 18358310 is_animated_gif=
Really the best advice I can give is to not take any time for granted. You wouldn't believe how suddenly they can be gone. Love easily and don't hold grudges.
Tell them how you feel[rebelmouse-image 18347587 is_animated_gif=
My dad died suddenly in a car crash.
I wish I could have said "I love you" a lot more. It's true, we don't say it enough, but most importantly we don't say it like we mean it.
The last time I saw him he dropped me off at the bus station and in the hurry of the moment we hugged and he said "I love you my darling princess" and I quickly said "yeah, me too" I closed the car door and something in me said "say it like you mean it" I looked back again and said "Dad, I love you" It took me less than 10 seconds, but it came from the heart, and he knew it, he smiled and said "thank you" that was the last time I saw him.
I wish I would have spend more time with him instead of with my friends, that I would have listened to him more instead of ignoring his parental advice, and I wish I would have said "I love you" more, coming from the heart.
Play cards and ask about views on life[rebelmouse-image 18358311 is_animated_gif=
My mom died when I was 16. So I always knew her as a mom, she was so loving and caring towards us kids
I just wish I had gotten to know her as a person. I never got to know her views on the world because I wasn't smart enough to wonder about those things when I was younger.
That and just played cards with her when she asked.
Some never get to say goodbye[rebelmouse-image 18345173 is_animated_gif=
My Father and Mother both passed within two weeks of each other in October. My father passed in his sleep, I had just talked to him that day. My mother was being put on hospice the morning my father passed, two weeks and she followed him.
If there was anything I wish, it would of been to say goodbye to my father. I did get to spend many nights with my Mother just before she passed talking and saying goodbye.
Keep in touch[rebelmouse-image 18358312 is_animated_gif=
my dad passed away suddenly a couple years ago.
don't fall out of touch with your parents. even if you don't speak to them, know where they are and how to reach them if possible. the day my dad died I couldn't have called him if I wanted to.
Reflect on the past with them[rebelmouse-image 18358313 is_animated_gif=
Spent the time digitizing all dad's USAF photos, and getting stories to go with them. 30 years active duty and another 12 civil service... Lots of imagery on 8mm, 35mm slides, and 35mm film.
Get to know them[rebelmouse-image 18349866 is_animated_gif=
almost ten years since my dad passed, and it wasn't til after he was gone that I realized I didn't know the first real thing about him. hell, I used to buy him shaving cream for father's day cause I didn't know what else he'd want and it seemed like a 'dad' thing.
Hold onto the good memories[rebelmouse-image 18358314 is_animated_gif=
I was 13 (22 Now) My dad was diagnosed with liver cancer and a month later December 9 2009 I believe was supposed to be his chemo start, he passed away that night. He was in a coma for about a week before that, and even his brain became damaged, I wish I could have told him I loved him, and that I'd take care of my mom and younger brother before he was unable to even recognize me anymore.
He was an amazing human being, sometimes he was too perfect, he did everything to get his family settled in Canada. I guess it's my turn to carry on and hopefully he can see that I'm trying. But even til this day, it's hard to move past the thought of him, I recently went though some old videos on a camcorder, I had almost forgot how he smiled and even how he sounded. It was nice to be able to see and hear him.
Gratitude is the best thing to share[rebelmouse-image 18358315 is_animated_gif=
My grandmother was my parental figure she adopted myself and my siblings when we were young, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer in November of 2016 and passed January of 2017 and I just wish I had been able to tell her how truly grateful I am and how blessed I was for all the things she did for me growing up and how proud I was that she molded me into the strong minded and kind hearted person I am, there's not a day goes by where I don't recall one of her many pearls of wisdom she taught me or a fond memory we shared, I wear her gold Celtic band every day and refuse to take it off
Learn from their stories[rebelmouse-image 18358316 is_animated_gif=
He wasn't my biological father, but he was the closest thing I had, so I'm counting it.
I wish I would have listened to his stories more. He had one about delivering sound equipment to the Grateful Dead and I barely remember what he said. He had terminal brain cancer, so he wasn't totally able to communicate in his last few months, but he was able to listen and understand what was happening for the most part. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to visit him due to him living eight hours away, but I did send a letter basically pouring my guts out and his wife read it to him. At least I got that stuff off my chest before he went.
Learning as much as possible before it's too late[rebelmouse-image 18345967 is_animated_gif=
I wish I could have interviewed my dad, or literally spend a whole weekend with him or something, just having him tell me the entire story of hisnlife to the best of his knowledge. He died at 53 when I was 27, and I barely knew anything about his life before he had me. After his death, I gradually found out through his friends and family that he was basically me. We essentially made all the same life choices and mistakes. I wish i could have known more about him, now that I view myself as his "reboot"
It goes both ways. Now is the time to express your love[rebelmouse-image 18345853 is_animated_gif=
I lost my mom when I was 9 so basically everything. My dad is a damn a superhero for raising me solo but there's really no replacing a mother in a daughters life... it's been almost 20 years and I'm still coming up with stuff where I think "sure wish I had a mom to bounce this idea off of". We'll never get to go get our nails done together, gossip about family drama over mimosas, talk about men or life things... I'll never be able to call and announce my engagement, have a mom at my bridal shower, complain about my future husband.... I don't get the mothers wisdom, advice or nurturing.
Mamas, show your daughters how much you love them every single day. Daddies (especially you superstar single daddies), try to remember every girl, no matter how tough, is a sensitive flower sometimes.
Your parents are individuals too![rebelmouse-image 18358317 is_animated_gif=
Get to know them.
Like, really know them.
Also do all the dumb shit kids do with parents. But that's basic. Lost my ma at 14, three years ago - way too often there's a parent's meeting that just saddens me thinking about it.
Mom went through chemo for two years, and I just honestly wish I would have asked her how she felt about it all. Let her cry. What she loved during when she was younger, what her favourite food was, color, favourite way to shuffle cards. Stupid shit my dad can't possible remember all himself.
Nothing is more important than relationships[rebelmouse-image 18358318 is_animated_gif=
My Father, my girlfriend, and I all lived together splitting bills for awhile. Had some personal issues and ended up moving to our own place. Dad ends up moving out of state. Three months later he dies in a car wreck with a BAC of .43. I know it's illogical but I can't stop thinking I could have changed something. Maybe if I had stuck out the personal s*** that made us part ways. That was three years ago. I was 20.
Learn about where you come from[rebelmouse-image 18358319 is_animated_gif=
Learned more about the family history. Had more time to revisit places/people together. Resolved petty differences/habits that blocked deeper connection/understanding.
More hugging[rebelmouse-image 18358320 is_animated_gif=
not a blood parent but he pretty much raised me.
I wish I'd hugged him more... the last time I saw him, it was soooooo obvious he was planning to kill himself but I was only 12 and I didn't know.
Maybe if I had hugged him tighter, he'd still be here :(
Don't pass up the little moments[rebelmouse-image 18358321 is_animated_gif=
My dad passed away days before my 18th Birthday, no warnings or indication. He asked me to pick him a few films to watch and pick a pizza for him. Kingdom of Heaven, the Running Man and Ghost and a Spicy Mexican deeppan. I was staying at a friend's house that night and woke up in the night at threeish with an overwhelming feeling of dread. I woke later at 6 to find a voicemail from my mum saying he was dead in between sobs.
I wish that I'd stayed home and joined him for movie night. I wish he was going to see me graduate graduate in two months. I wish my last words had been "I love you Dad." rather than "your pizza will be half an hour, I'll see you in the morning."
Sometimes I really envy people who get a chance to say goodbye properly. Other times I feel that that might be worse as they can have to watch their loved ones wither or suffer.
It's the small things you miss the most[rebelmouse-image 18358322 is_animated_gif=
My dad was real ill for a long time before he passed and because of his mental state deteriorating due to his illness, he developed habits and routines that got irritating to be around. We all tried our best and besides the occasional explosion of frustration we knew it was his illness. Anyway, looking back now it all seems so insignificant compared to not having him. I know he's at peace and he's better off, but God what would I do to go back and make him feel appreciated for the younger years when he was a full time dad and a damn good one at that. I wish I'd spent more time around him in his last few months and spent more time talking to him and just communicating.
The sucky thing is with this stuff is that you always think you have more time and finish up taking the small things for granted, but it's always the small things you miss most.
People typically think of cannabis legalization as one of those cut and dry things.
If you don't use marijuana, you probably don't want to legalize it.
If you do use marijuana, you are probably pro-legalization.
... except it's not that simple.
Reddit user SaifurCloudstrife asked:
"Redditors opposed to marijuana legalization and decriminalization: Why?"
Normally when these types of questions are asked, you get a bunch of people who are pro-the-thing chiming in and that absolutely happened here.
Interestingly, that opened up discourse that got people actually talking—probably more than they normally would have. The constant back and forth helped people get down to the core of their beliefs and reasons.
I can't say minds or hearts were changed, or even that people had particularly good reasons (and there were some not-great counter arguments, let's be real) when it came right down to it, but conversations were certainly had...
"It's a drug."
"I have two examples in my close family that clearly show how devastating pot can be. This attitude to marijuana reminds me of the attitude towards cocaine in the mid to late seventies when everyone thought it was harmless 'nose candy.' "
"I'm against sentences for drug possession but many people would benefit from dealers serving 3-5 for selling pot."
"Honestly, I think everyone against it should come to Canada for a visit. It's been legal here for 4 years and absolutely NONE of the spooky stories have come true."
"The only real differences is that people buy their weed in nice, clean stores with clear labels and not on street corners and our tax dollars don't go towards harassing people for a weekend indulgence."Giphy
"It stinks and makes people lazy."
"And often the weed smokers don't care if they are a pain in the butt to others and that kind of apathy is a huge no for me."Giphy
"I live in WA, where rec weed is legal."
"I rarely ever smell pot smoke. And I have the nose of a bloodhound."
"Yes, more often than as a teen when it was still illegal, but far less than any amount to be pro-prohibition about it."
"Plus, I mean, there's lots of smells I f*cking hate but wouldn't enact harmful laws over- Axe body spray being one."
"Laws can be made regarding where you can smoke."
"In Australia you can't smoke inside or within a certain distance to entryways. The only space you smell smoke is at an outdoor pub, designated smoking areas and occasionally when walking."
"It took years, but people become accustomed to new rules. Knowing Americans though, you guys will be on the brink of civil war if they brought in similar restrictions."
It's TOO Good
"I've read that the potency in pot these days is a hell of a lot stronger compared to say 20 or 30 yrs ago."
"The huge increase in THC levels should be a huge concern for people. The pot being legalized today is not the same I smoked when I was much younger."
"This argument has been rolled out again and again since I was in elementary school (~30 years ago) and I never understood it."
"THC is remarkably non-toxic, it's so much less toxic than many common substances people ingest on a regular basis (aspirin, and plenty of other OTC meds, as examples), to the point where actual THC toxicity is caused by physical rather than chemical/metabolic actions."
"Smoked cannabis is also much easier to titrate (dose appropriately), since the effects are nearly instantaneous - take a couple hits and you'll know if you've had enough within seconds."Giphy
"As opposed to an accidental edible overdose where you might not know for a couple hours that you've taken a heroic dose."
"So a higher % of THC by weight in cannabis flower shouldn't be an issue, especially considering that back in D.A.R.E. they used to tell us that smoking cannabis was SO MUCH WORSE than smoking tobacco."
"Cannabis was supposedly so much 'harsher,' one joint contains 'toxins' equivalent to an entire pack of cigs, etc...which is total bull, but even if that were true...wouldn't that mean that stronger cannabis is less harmful, since you don't have to smoke so much to achieve the desired effect?"
"Can't have it both ways."
It is high potency because it is illegal. It's easier to transport a half pound of skunk than 10 pounds of trash weed."
"Look at states that have legalized. There are low thc strains available and easily accessible."
"Because dipsh*ts will start smoking it in public places where others can not really avoid it, like is the case with cigarettes currently."
"Also yes: F*ck cigarettes."
"Yep my problem is drugs in public."
"I do not care if you do drugs as long as your doing them in a private place. I don't want to breathe in your smoke and get lung cancer."
"I don't especially care what folks get up to on their own, it's when they make everyone around them a participant that it aggravates me."
"Plus, depending on the setting, it's really inconsiderate."
"I have a friend whose job does random drug testing and he left a bar because a bunch of folks were smoking inside and he was worried about work."Giphy
Go Away, Government!
"I'm for legalization but as someone that worked for corporate cannabis, I'd loathe seeing those scums run the market."
"My state Governor tried writing a recreational cannabis bill on their own terms since we are surrounded by recreational territories."
"They stated they didn't want it to lead to a ballot measure because that's worst case scenario (didnt think voters were educated) than proceeded to write the most comically bad legalization bill that existed - before completely dropping it because they couldn't write a competent law."
"I am about as anti pot as they come, but if they are going to legalize it, why wouldn't they make it legal to grow your own? (Rhetorical- I know the answer… same reason "they" are legalizing it… tax money)"
"This is what I am screaming. For them it's only about money."
"They are waiting for the rich to install a profit making infrastructure before they let us peasants enjoy anything."Giphy
"If I had any good reason it's because idiots insist it's not addictive and it doesn't impede your senses. So they drive and do dangerous sh*t while high."
"My issue isn't the severity of the impediment. It's that people refuse to admit that it does alter the mind."
"I already have one person insist they smoke weed and drive because they know their body."
"Now imagine if someone openly said that about alcohol and how you'd react. It's a really dumb mentality to have."
"If anything I'd push for it to be illegalized ALONG WITH alcohol and cigarettes."
"But prohibition taught us that is not the way to go."Giphy
The Same Path As Alcohol
"I believe that if it was legalized, it would become a much bigger part in society, much like how alcohol is now."
"I do have a problem with public drinking and personally view alcohol as much worse compared to marijuana."
"However, since drinking is already so ingrained in our society, it's not like we can get rid of it. I'm just hoping that weed doesn't follow in the same path as alcohol."Giphy
"Im so sick of all these CBD oil pyramid schemes popping up!"
"The testimonials are all, 'I broke my spine in half and had to get it surgically fused together. Now all I have to do is rub a drop of CBD on it, and the pain is gone!' "
"And I'm not against it, I actually use high grade CBD at night to help me sleep. I fucking hate going through a rep though, they always try to hard sell me on topical CBD for my back pain that's like $80 for a little jar, or $30 bath bombs."
"I have discs squeezing out of my spine, I'm pretty sure a dab of hemp oil is gonna do jack shit for that."
"And the cancer patient abuse!"
"Smoking or ingesting edibles with THC for pain management and appetite is super helpful for cancer patients, but cbd wont do anything. Not to mention getting an ounce of good weed wont set you back much, but getting a tiny vial of cbd can set you back a couple hundred bucks."
"With our healthcare system in the states, we know damn well cancer patients are already in a hole of debt. I'm worried legalizing will encourage these CBD lies."
"It's the new snake oil."
"My MIL is that person. She's was touting its Indica strains ability to outright cure cancer the last I saw her."
"Cancer patients get hit very hard with the cannabis oil scams. What kind of evil sh*t do you need to be to take advantage of desperate people?"
"I agree with you about people thinking its the grand cure all, but that's why I feel we SHOULD legalize."
"The main reason I want it legalize is so they can do more research on the things it does help. It's effect on tremors alone is fascinating."Giphy
So what have we really learned here? I'm not really certain.
Lots of people's reasons seemed under-informed, but just as many people had legitimate concerns.
Sure, those concerns could just as easily be applied to alcohol, but lots of Redditors admitted that and seemed to take LARGER issue with alcohol than cannabis. It was honestly difficult to find anyone (aside from the smell people) who was 100% against it.
And that, dear reader, is possibly the biggest takeaway from this. Attitudes are changing.
Sorry, D.A.R.E.—looks like we said yes to drugs. Well, cannabis at least.
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Chosen family is family. Sometimes they are the closest and most important family. Just because you share blood with someone, doesn't mean you have to form a bond.
That's why best friends are so important.
BFFs are forged in many ways. They're there for you in triumph and sorrow. They hold your hand. T
They know where the bodies are buried because they helped bury them. That's why it's so heartbreaking to lose them.
It's just a bitter pill to swallow when it's a relationship you thought was going to be endless.
Redditor FindingDale wanted to hear all the reasons why sometimes we just have to say goodbye to certain people in life, by asking:
How did you lose your best friend?
I've lost a few besties. Some through death. Some through personal growth and some just because it was time. That was an important lesson. Just like lovers, friends also outgrow one another.
I'm ExhaustedI Cant Modern Family GIF by HULUGiphy
"I got tired of it being all about her all of the time. I couldn't tell her anything in my life good or bad because she would make it about herself." ~ Wide-Fig-1063
"He was the passenger in a single-car accident. The driver was drunk, showing off, and drifting on an unfamiliar dirt road in California. They found the car at the bottom of a 70-foot cliff. Everyone in the car walked away except my friend, who died instantly."
"He was already passed out drunk himself so he likely didn't feel anything, but it was still such a terrible senseless way to go. That was 10 years ago last June. He was barely 21, the nicest guy you'd ever meet, and one hell of a bassist. Miss ya, Jake." ~ FormerLurker3
"Best friends since we were 12. Best Man at my wedding when we were 28. Day after the wedding he never spoke to me again. No explanation. Calls and texts went unanswered. He would avoid being at any social event I would be at, which was a few because we had the same circle of friends. Tried for two years to keep that friendship alive." ~ Tionek
"I had a weird dynamic to continue because of trauma. We had been friends for most of our lives (26 years) and every conversation was all about her. I was fine with that because she had a traumatic childhood and I knew she wasn't super socially with it. I'm happy to listen when my friends need it."
"Then she just unloaded on me saying I wasn't listening enough to her problems and how I had mistreated her by not asking enough pointed questions about abuse she had suffered as a kid. This was days after a three hour call where she did all the talking and it was mostly about her abuse."
"I was six months pregnant at the time and all I could think was "do I really have the bandwidth to take care of two babies?" I haven't spoken to her since." ~ keepinitcornmeal
It's WeirdFriends Tv GIFGiphy
"His wife tried to sleep with me. I didn't let it happen and I told him about it. They reconciled and had more kids, then it got weird whenever I was around so we drifted apart." ~ mycowild
Yeah, beware the partner of a loved one who is trying to trap you in a scandal. They are shady. Take that drama and run fast and far.
Why?Peering Looking GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying." ~ NagromTrebloc
"It was October 16, 2015. I was working from home that day when I saw a call from him at around 9:15am. I had to ignore the call because I was in an online meeting. At 2pm my Dad calls my phone, which is unusual since he knows I'm working. I answer it."
"He is speaking quietly and very calmly. He says, "Son, I love you very much. I have some terrible news. Jared passed away this morning." Jared's wife was calling me from his phone to say she found him dead. I couldn't process what he was saying."
"I said, "That's not funny. Jared, his wife and me and my wife were supposed to meet up next weekend for dinner." Jared had sleep apnea surgery that same week. He had taken a painkiller and Benadryl together. It stopped his heart. He died 2 days before his 40th birthday. We were friends since grade school."
"We did everything together, he was my brother. He was the best man at my wedding earlier that year. I had just shared my son's heartbeat with him via a text message 2 days before. Jared was so excited to be his crazy uncle. I miss him every single day." ~ SnooCapers1425
"Codependency. I became basically obsessed with her and it just became too toxic. I had to cut it off because it was eating me up inside and she didn't deserve how I was treating her." ~ SuccessfulEggplant82
"Good on you for recognizing the problem you were having. It takes a lot (and I mean a crap ton) for an individual to come to this realization. Most people like to live in denial or fight it. I did the same thing and by the time I realized it, it was to late. I hope your able to get through it." ~ Nakanon85
"I noticed that he never came to my place to catch up. I stopped going over to his place to see how long until he noticed.... It's been 5 years now 🤷♂️." ~ Mr_Nonesuch
"Over the years I have observed in number of friendships that its always me that makes the call. They always are delighted to hear from me. If I organise something they come. They just don't make the effort. I have been best man five times so I don't think that its because the friendships are not valued. I don't know, am I missing something?" ~ Yarray2
"My ex wife. Even after we split we stayed close, co-parenting, helping each other out. She died 3.5 years ago. I could have made peace I think but after her death and our daughter was living with me full time I found out about how abusive my ex had been to her when I was around and it felt like losing her all over."
"Like I thought I knew who she was in the 13 years we'd had both together and separated, but it turns out I knew nothing. Now I'm just angry about it, like how dare you get to do this crap and then leave me to clean up your mess."
"How dare you have peace when my daughter has nothing but struggles and therapy. I felt like we were robbed of the good person, the good mother I thought she was." ~ Scarecrowqueen
Far Far Away...Jake Gyllenhaal Reaction GIF by MOODMANGiphy
"Friend moved to the other side of the planet, with their spouse, to be nearer to both their families. I never understood what real friendship was before friend was in my life; and now they're alive, but not here." ~ ClutchCrgo
One of the natural parts of life... saying goodbye. Or in some cases getting ghosted and forgotten. Either way, chin up.
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Humans have had an undeniably significant impact on our environment and the other species that inhabit the planet with us.
What might happen if humans weren't here to exert that influence, though?
What if we never had?
Reddit user Mompkey asked:
"Which species do you think would be dominant if humans didn't exist?"
"Wolves. They can, and have, successfully adapted to most of the various biomes on the planet."
"There's a reason we domesticated them and took them everywhere with us."Giphy
- Everything is garbage
- Garbage is delicious"
"I would agree, but now I'm wondering if our presence is the reason cockroaches have thrived as well as they have."Giphy
"Sharks, they are the dominant species on 3/4 of the Earth's surface already, they have survived mass extinctions and would thrive even more without humans mucking up their habitat."Giphy
"Humans are the only species that seek to dominate others. Other animals just want to live in the balance of nature. They're just trying to survive, they don't have time to take over the world."
"Pinky and The Brain theme song played in my head."Giphy
"We've killed off so many throughout history but of the ones that remains intelligence and versatility would be the key factors. Their food supply and habitat would greatly increase in our absence so with this being said.........primates."
"We are simply the superior primate therefore we are the dominant species. That opposable thumb is a mf when you have a large brain."
"Wouldn't it be just another off shoot of humans like the Neanderthal or heidelbergensis?"Giphy
While we'll probably never know definitively which species would truly thrive without us around, it's still fun to speculate.
Do you have thoughts?
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