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People With Deceased Parents Admit What They Wished They Had Done Together

People With Deceased Parents Admit What They Wished They Had Done Together

People With Deceased Parents Admit What They Wished They Had Done Together

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Losing anyone if life is a difficult thing to go through, especially if its a parent. When your time is cut short with those you love, you begin to feel like some things have gotten pushed aside before you had the chance to share them. Life is short and it's important to prioritize what is truly important.

IUsedToHateVeggies asks:

People who've lost a parent, what is something you wish you'd done before you ran out of time?

This might inspire you to seize the moment and connect with those you love.

Time is so precious that every moment matters

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Honestly. Everything.

Even with what I did manage to do before my daddy passed, it still wasn't enough.

I was 28 when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He passed October 31, 2002, 1 year and 8 days after his diagnosis.

We knew it was terminal. So we did everything he wanted. Everything we wanted.

We had time to say goodbye. And time to be at peace with it.

But even now, 16 years later, not a day goes by where I don't have a moment where I wish I could call my daddy and tell him about something that is entirely mundane.

I miss him dearly.

Make time for mom

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My Mom died suddenly while I was away at college. I thought I was a pretty good daughter to her but now that I am an adult I wish I had done more. I really wish I had spent more quality time with her . As a teenager I loved going out with friends and boyfriends but she adored when I wanted to do something, anything with her. I wish I had chosen her more frequently. I never truly appreciated her and all she tried to do for us until I had my own children. I miss you Mom!

Grudges are a waste of your precious time

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Really the best advice I can give is to not take any time for granted. You wouldn't believe how suddenly they can be gone. Love easily and don't hold grudges.

Tell them how you feel

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My dad died suddenly in a car crash.

I wish I could have said "I love you" a lot more. It's true, we don't say it enough, but most importantly we don't say it like we mean it.

The last time I saw him he dropped me off at the bus station and in the hurry of the moment we hugged and he said "I love you my darling princess" and I quickly said "yeah, me too" I closed the car door and something in me said "say it like you mean it" I looked back again and said "Dad, I love you" It took me less than 10 seconds, but it came from the heart, and he knew it, he smiled and said "thank you" that was the last time I saw him.

I wish I would have spend more time with him instead of with my friends, that I would have listened to him more instead of ignoring his parental advice, and I wish I would have said "I love you" more, coming from the heart.

Play cards and ask about views on life

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My mom died when I was 16. So I always knew her as a mom, she was so loving and caring towards us kids

I just wish I had gotten to know her as a person. I never got to know her views on the world because I wasn't smart enough to wonder about those things when I was younger.

That and just played cards with her when she asked.

Some never get to say goodbye

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My Father and Mother both passed within two weeks of each other in October. My father passed in his sleep, I had just talked to him that day. My mother was being put on hospice the morning my father passed, two weeks and she followed him.

If there was anything I wish, it would of been to say goodbye to my father. I did get to spend many nights with my Mother just before she passed talking and saying goodbye.

Keep in touch

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my dad passed away suddenly a couple years ago.

don't fall out of touch with your parents. even if you don't speak to them, know where they are and how to reach them if possible. the day my dad died I couldn't have called him if I wanted to.

Reflect on the past with them

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Spent the time digitizing all dad's USAF photos, and getting stories to go with them. 30 years active duty and another 12 civil service... Lots of imagery on 8mm, 35mm slides, and 35mm film.

Get to know them

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almost ten years since my dad passed, and it wasn't til after he was gone that I realized I didn't know the first real thing about him. hell, I used to buy him shaving cream for father's day cause I didn't know what else he'd want and it seemed like a 'dad' thing.

Hold onto the good memories

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I was 13 (22 Now) My dad was diagnosed with liver cancer and a month later December 9 2009 I believe was supposed to be his chemo start, he passed away that night. He was in a coma for about a week before that, and even his brain became damaged, I wish I could have told him I loved him, and that I'd take care of my mom and younger brother before he was unable to even recognize me anymore.

He was an amazing human being, sometimes he was too perfect, he did everything to get his family settled in Canada. I guess it's my turn to carry on and hopefully he can see that I'm trying. But even til this day, it's hard to move past the thought of him, I recently went though some old videos on a camcorder, I had almost forgot how he smiled and even how he sounded. It was nice to be able to see and hear him.

Gratitude is the best thing to share

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My grandmother was my parental figure she adopted myself and my siblings when we were young, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer in November of 2016 and passed January of 2017 and I just wish I had been able to tell her how truly grateful I am and how blessed I was for all the things she did for me growing up and how proud I was that she molded me into the strong minded and kind hearted person I am, there's not a day goes by where I don't recall one of her many pearls of wisdom she taught me or a fond memory we shared, I wear her gold Celtic band every day and refuse to take it off

Learn from their stories

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He wasn't my biological father, but he was the closest thing I had, so I'm counting it.

I wish I would have listened to his stories more. He had one about delivering sound equipment to the Grateful Dead and I barely remember what he said. He had terminal brain cancer, so he wasn't totally able to communicate in his last few months, but he was able to listen and understand what was happening for the most part. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to visit him due to him living eight hours away, but I did send a letter basically pouring my guts out and his wife read it to him. At least I got that stuff off my chest before he went.

Learning as much as possible before it's too late

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I wish I could have interviewed my dad, or literally spend a whole weekend with him or something, just having him tell me the entire story of hisnlife to the best of his knowledge. He died at 53 when I was 27, and I barely knew anything about his life before he had me. After his death, I gradually found out through his friends and family that he was basically me. We essentially made all the same life choices and mistakes. I wish i could have known more about him, now that I view myself as his "reboot"

It goes both ways. Now is the time to express your love

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I lost my mom when I was 9 so basically everything. My dad is a damn a superhero for raising me solo but there's really no replacing a mother in a daughters life... it's been almost 20 years and I'm still coming up with stuff where I think "sure wish I had a mom to bounce this idea off of". We'll never get to go get our nails done together, gossip about family drama over mimosas, talk about men or life things... I'll never be able to call and announce my engagement, have a mom at my bridal shower, complain about my future husband.... I don't get the mothers wisdom, advice or nurturing.

Mamas, show your daughters how much you love them every single day. Daddies (especially you superstar single daddies), try to remember every girl, no matter how tough, is a sensitive flower sometimes.

Your parents are individuals too!

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Get to know them.

Like, really know them.

Also do all the dumb shit kids do with parents. But that's basic. Lost my ma at 14, three years ago - way too often there's a parent's meeting that just saddens me thinking about it.

Mom went through chemo for two years, and I just honestly wish I would have asked her how she felt about it all. Let her cry. What she loved during when she was younger, what her favourite food was, color, favourite way to shuffle cards. Stupid shit my dad can't possible remember all himself.

Nothing is more important than relationships

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My Father, my girlfriend, and I all lived together splitting bills for awhile. Had some personal issues and ended up moving to our own place. Dad ends up moving out of state. Three months later he dies in a car wreck with a BAC of .43. I know it's illogical but I can't stop thinking I could have changed something. Maybe if I had stuck out the personal s*** that made us part ways. That was three years ago. I was 20.

Learn about where you come from

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Learned more about the family history. Had more time to revisit places/people together. Resolved petty differences/habits that blocked deeper connection/understanding.

More hugging

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not a blood parent but he pretty much raised me.

I wish I'd hugged him more... the last time I saw him, it was soooooo obvious he was planning to kill himself but I was only 12 and I didn't know.

Maybe if I had hugged him tighter, he'd still be here :(

Don't pass up the little moments

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My dad passed away days before my 18th Birthday, no warnings or indication. He asked me to pick him a few films to watch and pick a pizza for him. Kingdom of Heaven, the Running Man and Ghost and a Spicy Mexican deeppan. I was staying at a friend's house that night and woke up in the night at threeish with an overwhelming feeling of dread. I woke later at 6 to find a voicemail from my mum saying he was dead in between sobs.

I wish that I'd stayed home and joined him for movie night. I wish he was going to see me graduate graduate in two months. I wish my last words had been "I love you Dad." rather than "your pizza will be half an hour, I'll see you in the morning."

Sometimes I really envy people who get a chance to say goodbye properly. Other times I feel that that might be worse as they can have to watch their loved ones wither or suffer.

It's the small things you miss the most

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My dad was real ill for a long time before he passed and because of his mental state deteriorating due to his illness, he developed habits and routines that got irritating to be around. We all tried our best and besides the occasional explosion of frustration we knew it was his illness. Anyway, looking back now it all seems so insignificant compared to not having him. I know he's at peace and he's better off, but God what would I do to go back and make him feel appreciated for the younger years when he was a full time dad and a damn good one at that. I wish I'd spent more time around him in his last few months and spent more time talking to him and just communicating.

The sucky thing is with this stuff is that you always think you have more time and finish up taking the small things for granted, but it's always the small things you miss most.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.