Image by Robinraj Premchand from Pixabay

I have never understood the idea behind a roast. Even the famous one's from the Friar's Club make no sense to me. I already have enough self-loathing for two lifetimes. The last thing I need is being ridiculed and lambasted during a public flogging. And I have a good sense of humor for sure, but people can be cruel. Why would one open up the opportunity to internet terrorists?

Redditor u/KingKaos420- wanted to hear about that one particular comment that broke the camel's back by asking... People who have posted on r/RoastMe and regretted it, what was the comment that destroyed you?

In this day and age the internet can be a dangerous place. I am floored by how many people have asked to be publicly scorched. The cruelty level of the keyboard misfits out there is deranged. But yet, clearly some of us are too bored and need to suffer more. Let's see the results...


30 Rock GIF Giphy

"I bet they use that septum ring to pull you away from the buffet lines."


You Look...

"You look like how touching wet food in the sink feels"

Was the one that got me but my favourite was...

"You look like broke a** Dr strange, Dr spare change".


take a pic

Someone once said I looked like a sexually deprived lesbian. (I'm male btw)

Another said I looked like the after-pic from a crystal meth PSA.


Think we need a picture to make sure.


Hey Mindy

the mindy project GIF by HULU Giphy

I'm Indian and my caption was "I got a D on my transcript and I'm tired. Go ahead." and the whole comment section calling me Mindy Failing.


Ok, a few of those actually made my breath stop. I would've needed my therapist on speed dial after reading some of that. Was that meant to be comedy? I think some people need some mental evaluation. Let's see how much worse it could get...

Laid Bare

Someone telling me I should shave my beard because it looked terrible.

Despite everyone who had seen me with and without a beard saying it look great and really suited me.

I relayed this to the commenter.

He responded "How bad is your bare face for them to say that then?!"


Head Games

When I smile I get super deep forehead wrinkles and prior to posting I hadn't been insecure about these - 5 years later I'm still super insecure about them and have bangs to hide them because I got like 8 different comments about them.

Moral of the story - don't post on roast me if you aren't prepared to unlock a new insecurity.

I didn't expect this to get attention so I want to make it clear that I'm barely insecure about them anymore and I'm not salty at roastme or anything- a lot of their roasts were hilarious. I just wanted to warn anyone who thinks they have tough skin to make sure you actually do before posting there.

Thanks so much for the kind words and awards though.


Good Greens

You look like the word lettuce.

Edit: For the people who want to know what that looks like. Here is the post: it's my old account that got deleted.


Dead Inside

Big Brother Omg GIF by Global TV Giphy

Someone told me "you look like someone went into the mii creator and set your eyes as far apart as they could go." I laughed but I also died.



I posted a buddy a few years back, mentioned he was in the Navy with me and the best one was "I bet your two dads get excited every time there's on knock on their door, only to be majorly disappointed that it's you and not a folded flag"

Here is the post.


Ouch. That one made my jaw drop.


Diet Time

flying harry potter GIF Giphy

As a kind of fat guy with glasses, probably the most eviscerating comment I got was "looks like Harry Potter has let himself go"

I mean, pretty easy, but also pretty universally understood.


Ok. Thems is all fighting words. We would be throwing down if someone had the audacity to throw half of that nonsense at me. Be kind y'all. Things are too heavy right now.

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Image by ming dai from Pixabay

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Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.

Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.

U/Imaginary_East5786 asked: What was the weirdest thing the weird kid did at school?

​Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.

Was it worth it?

peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy

He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.


Scientific method:

> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'

> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended

> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended

> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended


Uhhh what was the intention here?

He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.


​Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.

Boom theret.

At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."

So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.


I hope there was no overlap in the columns.

Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy

She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.


2 separate lists or just the 1?


Same list 2 columns lol.


Holy crap.

Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could*t was wild.

This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.


​Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.

Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.

Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.

A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.


Every school had the cat girl.

cat dragging GIF Giphy

The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.

Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.



Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.


I was exactly this kind of weird.

He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.

The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.


I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man

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