In this day and age the internet can be a dangerous place. I am floored by how many people have asked to be publicly scorched. The cruelty level of the keyboard misfits out there is deranged. But yet, clearly some of us are too bored and need to suffer more. Let's see the results...
30 Rock GIFYou Look...
"You look like how touching wet food in the sink feels"
Was the one that got me but my favourite was...
"You look like broke a** Dr strange, Dr spare change".
take a pic
Someone once said I looked like a sexually deprived lesbian. (I'm male btw)
Another said I looked like the after-pic from a crystal meth PSA.
Think we need a picture to make sure.
Hey Mindy
the mindy project GIF by HULUGiphyI'm Indian and my caption was "I got a D on my transcript and I'm tired. Go ahead." and the whole comment section calling me Mindy Failing.
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Ok, a few of those actually made my breath stop. I would've needed my therapist on speed dial after reading some of that. Was that meant to be comedy? I think some people need some mental evaluation. Let's see how much worse it could get...
Laid Bare
Someone telling me I should shave my beard because it looked terrible.
Despite everyone who had seen me with and without a beard saying it look great and really suited me.
I relayed this to the commenter.
He responded "How bad is your bare face for them to say that then?!"
Head Games
When I smile I get super deep forehead wrinkles and prior to posting I hadn't been insecure about these - 5 years later I'm still super insecure about them and have bangs to hide them because I got like 8 different comments about them.
Moral of the story - don't post on roast me if you aren't prepared to unlock a new insecurity.
I didn't expect this to get attention so I want to make it clear that I'm barely insecure about them anymore and I'm not salty at roastme or anything- a lot of their roasts were hilarious. I just wanted to warn anyone who thinks they have tough skin to make sure you actually do before posting there.
Thanks so much for the kind words and awards though.
Good Greens
You look like the word lettuce.
Edit: For the people who want to know what that looks like. Here is the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/eda3kw/19yo_history_student_forever_alone_and_with_a/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share it's my old account that got deleted.
Dead Inside
Big Brother Omg GIF by Global TVGiphySomeone told me "you look like someone went into the mii creator and set your eyes as far apart as they could go." I laughed but I also died.
Seriously?!
I posted a buddy a few years back, mentioned he was in the Navy with me and the best one was "I bet your two dads get excited every time there's on knock on their door, only to be majorly disappointed that it's you and not a folded flag"
Diet Time
flying harry potter GIFGiphyAs a kind of fat guy with glasses, probably the most eviscerating comment I got was "looks like Harry Potter has let himself go"
I mean, pretty easy, but also pretty universally understood.
Ouch
I posted on an old account years ago the only comment I got was:
No.
Actually that is the harshest I read here. It would be impossible to hit or offend me with any comment but just receiving a No. and everyone follows suit, no upvotes (except for that comment) completely ignored. Not even worth a second of people's time.
Future Plans
I'm from India, I posted when I was in my second year of engineering. Someone commented that I shouldn't be wasting time on engineering as I'll end up in tech support. I graduated last year and guess what, I'm working as a tech support specialist. Fml.
I Don't Care
Clueless Movie Whatever GIF by filmeditorGiphy"if your acne was brail it would read daddy was mean to me."
The point of roastme is not to be true, its to be funny, and that one was funny. I have acne scars but as long as they don't bother you, it will hardly bother anyone else, at least not anyone worth bothering.
Face Day?
I never posted but I remember a 40-something fitness model posting on r/RoastMe obviously trying to boost her already high confidence. Her post was cocky, asking for people to try to find something wrong with her. Her body was amazing and she was an attractive person but someone commented "Looks like you skipped face day" and this comment LIVES in my mind rent free. So freaking great.
Smile
I posted a pic of me on an unrelated subreddit and everyone started saying how messed up my teeth were and I had no idea they were so bad. I got invisalign like 4 years later because reddit bullied me 😂.
This is why I could never post on there. There's numerous things I already hate about my face, body, and personality and I'm not concerned about anyone pointing that out. It's the stuff I don't see that I don't want to find out.
Too Far
So I don't regret it but someone said my hairline is so far back that even Rosa Parks wouldn't sit on it which I'd great lol.
This is the kind of stuff I love reading. Genuinely clever. I wouldn't even be mad.
Damn bro, this one had me in tears. I gotta save this one too use for later.
Muppet People
muppets GIFGiphyMy dumb butt posted on there thinking it would be funny and got my pride completely curb stomped, I think the best comment I got was "you look like a Muppet designed to teach children about lesbians."
I am saving this comment. It usually takes 2-6 months for me to wind up cycling through my saved crap. See you then.
Peel Away
Definitely didn't destroy me, but someone told me I look like I could cosplay as an onion. I have no idea what it means, but I think it's hilarious.
Look up Seigward of Catarina (if you don't know who he is) and just assume thats what they mean. Seigward is best onion.
Tears...
I didn't have much issue with mine, I have never been one that let people's words bother me. But I used to live with a girl who after she saw mine and the clever responses I got tried to do her own, and she was reduced to tears by how just outright mean some of the comments were.
Ok. Thems is all fighting words. We would be throwing down if someone had the audacity to throw half of that nonsense at me. Be kind y'all. Things are too heavy right now.
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