Pets are cute, but also...they're weird.
Most of the time they're weird because they're kinda dumb, but occasionally they do something so smart that it puts you on high alert.
u/OvertOperation asked Reddit:
What's the most creepily intelligent thing your pet has ever done?
Here were the weirdest answers.
My dad has always had problems with throwing his back out and it usually makes him unable to move for several weeks. Anyways, one time when he threw out his back, my dog grabbed a blanket in her mouth and slowly spread it over my dad while he was sleeping. We were all amazed and gave her a treat.
Snitches Get Stitches
Woke me up and brought me outside to under the deck, where he very obviously showed me the cat that got out and was hiding under there. He looked at the cat, then back at me, then at the cat, then back at me.
My friend's dog knows he's not allowed onto one very specific carpeted area in the house and he knows never to step onto that area. How does he like to be a smart-ss about it? He grabs his favorite toy, casually tosses it onto said carpeted area, looks at us, and gives us the "well my toy's there and I have to step onto the carpet to get it". He does it so slowly and so deliberately that you know he's being a complete smarta** about it. I can't help but laugh every time he does it which is not often. He typically does it when he's desperate for our play because he knows he'll get a laugh and a positive reaction out of it.
The Cat, The Watch, And The Fridge-drobe
When I was younger I lost a watch that I really loved. Around that time my cat developed a habit of using his front paws to reach under the fridge and just scramble around under there like crazy. He was seriously obsessed and did that for almost a year, until one night he pulled out a tray that had been under the fridge, and on it was my watch. After that he never touched the fridge again. He was a good boy.
Imitation To Insult
There was a time when, coming back from a trip, the balls of my feet were swollen and it hurt going up and down the stairs. My cat would actually imitate me by limping up and down the stairs (taking the steps one at a time) while meowing pitifully. I swear if he could talk, he would've said something like "see, this is how stupid you look."
My cousin had a koi fish pond and two dogs. One night the dogs started barking during the middle of the night really loud and urgently, and they almost never bark at anything. My cousin and her parents knew something was weird and went out to check.
One of the fish somehow managed to jump out the pond and was flopping around next to the water on the concrete, and one dog was trying to help it back in the water with his nose while the other was barking for my cousin or her parents to help.
Once they watched them place the fish in the water, they went back in the kennels to sleep. They would watch the pond a lot from then on.
Not my pet but the dog of a farmer in my grandma's town that recently had given birth to puppies. When we were strolling around by the farm we saw the dog and said to her: "hey, show us your puppies!" next thing we know, the dog ran around the farm and came back with all her cute little puppies and let us play with them. What a wonderful day.
Let The Right One In
My 13 lb ginger cat always had to be near me. Some of the doors in my house didn't latch, and he learned to open them by using his body as a battering ram. Okay, fine. So one day I'm in a closed room with a door that does latch, and I hear the doorknob rattle. It rattles for a bit then turns, and the cat pops the door open with his weight and saunters in.
I miss him.
Hide And Go F Yourself
I actually have a story for this. I taught my dog to play hide and seek. I made him sit in the kitchen while I hid a rawhide somewhere in the house. He would then search until he found it and would then bring it back to me. I would then tell him to hide it and he would. One day I was searching for the damn rawhide for like 10 mins and could not find it. Searched everywhere. Eventually I had to give up totally confused. Next morning I open a dresser drawer to get a pair of shorts and there it is. He saw a slightly cracked drawer, dropped it in, closed it, and outsmarted a human. I was very proud.
Problem Solving 101
I watched my Australian Shepherd problem solve how to get her tennis balls that get stuck under the furniture out by taking another tennis ball and rolling it to knock the stuck one out. She seemed very pleased with herself.
Rock in a rocking chair. I thought my living room was haunted for weeks.
He has to take antibiotics for ten days. They are pills.
In the beginning, i was wondering why he wasnt getting better. Turns out, the a**hole was keeping them in his cheek or under his tongue and spitting them out under the closet.
So now i hold him until he swallows and then i check his mouth.
It's really one of those times i wish i could explain to him why i am 'torturing' him with eye drops and painkillers and whatnot. YOU ARE A SENIOR KITIZEN AND YOU HAVE A SEVERE COLD. Stop spitting things out!
On the other hand, he has never scratched or bitten me, just struggles and pulls away.he is a very sweet cat.
Cat Toy Armory
my cat can open doors. She understands that turning to knob unlatches the door. it takes her a few tries, but she does it all the time now, getting into the office, where she isn't allowed. I have also found her cat toy stash. I have no idea why, but she hides her favorite toys in a few caches around my apartment
Not mine, by my mother had two cats in Hawaii before I was born. She would tell stories about how one, Epo, was very intelligent, and the other, Popokie, was as dumb as a bag of rocks. Made a great pair.
She would talk about how they'd be playing out back and she would call them in for dinner. Epo would immediately show up, but Popokie would be lost in her very small backyard
She would just look at Epo and say: "Epo, go get Popokie!"
And Epo would run out and guide Popokie into the house and to his food dish so that he could have dinner.
Same sort of thing if she had no idea where Popokie was. She would just tell Epo to find him, and Epo would go search the house and bring Popokie to her.
Faked to have a paw injury so I'd carry him around the house.
If I called my girlfriend at around 9 PM on a Friday, my dog would always get excited and head to the truck.
I was stationed in Shanghai for about a year, but lived for years in Thailand with my GF and my dog.
Whenever I had a long weekend I'd fly back to Thailand. My dog quickly picked up on the idea that whenever my GF switched from speaking Thai to English, she was talking to me. I would call her when I arrived at the airport on a Friday evening, as it was only about 15 minutes from our home, and she'd come pick me up.
My dog was able to put this whole scenario together and went ape-sh-t whenever I called on a Friday evening and he would immediately head for the truck to go pick me up. When I would call her at other hours of the day, he would look at her like he knew who she was talking to, but he knew that it didn't mean that I was coming home.
Smart And Tricky
While at the park playing fetch, my dog spotted a squirrel and took off after it into the woods. I couldn't find her for the life of me so my mom and I started driving around to look for her and checking our home voicemail every 10 minutes in case someone found her and called the number on her tags. 2 hours go by and we decide to go home to eat before continuing our search.
Turns out she walked the 3 miles back home from the park and snuck under the backyard deck and up the deck stairs and was waiting at the back door for us upon our return.
I was in my closet getting dressed, and my Doberman came, obviously wanting me to follow him.
I did, in a hurry, and found my kid with a handful of screws that someone, one of the decorators probably, had left in the bay window. She was about to put them in her mouth.
Kid was two. That was the best dog.
My dog once started barking at the door, like someone was about to knock or come in, while I was eating. I got up to see who was there and it was no one. I went back and some of my food was on the ground, being shared by the dog and two cats. I think one of the cats knocked some off, so they worked together as a team to steal my food.
I had a cat once who knew that to get water from the faucet in the sink she would tap on the handle (not the faucet) and look at me. If she had opposable thumbs she would have turned it herself. Other cats would just look at the faucet and wait. She also would leap on her brother if he started to scratch the edge of the sofa, to get him to stop, knowing it was not allowed. She also not only recognized herself in the mirror, but would use it to groom the hair on her back that she couldn't see otherwise.
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
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It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/