People Who Had Terrible Therapists Reveal When They First Realized It
People Who Had Terrible Therapists Reveal When They First Realized It[rebelmouse-image 18357923 is_animated_gif=
Over 40 million people in the United States experience some mental health crisis annually. In addition to medication and other physical treatments, over 50% will seek therapy. A good therapist can provide tools for recovery. But what about a bad one?
Reddit user FE_SMT_DS asked "People who realized they had bad therapists, what were the red flags?"
Here are the stories of people who experienced the downside of seeking help.
Hair Apparent[rebelmouse-image 18357924 is_animated_gif=
"How can you be depressed with such brightly coloured hair?"
Genuine question from a previous therapist.
Misogyny[rebelmouse-image 18357925 is_animated_gif=
Psychiatrist, actually. I was talking about the impact of my dad's alcoholism, and he tried to justify it. "He's a grown man. He can do what he wants!" I got angry, but decided to shrug it off. Then I talked about the financial burden that my mom was stuck with, as a result of my dad's drinking and reckless spending. Again, he defended it: "He can use his money however he likes." I snapped at that point. I told him that my father had a responsibility to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. I also said that my mother shouldn't have to rack up thousands of dollars of debt while he's getting wasted and totalling our car. He started shouting at me about how little I know, how my role as a woman is to not speak out against men, etc. I got fed up, so I called him a quack and walked out.
Think Happy Thoughts[rebelmouse-image 18357926 is_animated_gif=
Every week she'd ask me how things had been that week, and she'd pick out something from what I said and we'd talk over that in detail. But she never seemed to recall an awful lot about the things we'd discussed before. And we never actually moved forward to doing any kind of work or... anything.
I just turned up, talked for an hour, and then left.
I ran out of coverage for the sessions after 6 months and she agreed with me at that point that I hadn't really made any progress at all and that I hadn't succeeded in changing anything really. Her only advice was "Have you tried just not thinking these thoughts?"
She recommended a particular YouTube video about mindfulness as I was leaving for the last time, but also told me I need to spend less time thinking about things and overfocusing.
I don't really know what I'm supposed to take away from that.
Spare the Rod[rebelmouse-image 18357927 is_animated_gif=
Understand I have some deep seeded trust issues from something that went down as a kid. So I wasn't exactly going to spill my guts to this woman.
So she calls in my mother demanding she make me talk. When my mother explains to her I don't trust easy she suggests beating it into me.
Never went back.
Time Thief[rebelmouse-image 18357928 is_animated_gif=
She had a couple who would have the time slot before my appointment, but I'm pretty sure they were all friends because they'd always come out laughing with each other. Also, she used to give them more time than they were supposed to have (which cut into my session time). I was supposed to have 45 minutes, but I usually only got about 20.
Finally, the last straw was, I came in at my appointment time and she was sitting there eating ice cream. She looks at me and says "I'm eating, you have to wait." If I was late to the appointment, I would have had to pay a fee, but if she's late, she gets ice cream...
Bad Advice[rebelmouse-image 18357929 is_animated_gif=
I was 18 and had a bit of a break down at University and dropped out. I lost my part time job because of it and was severely depressed. I'd had a pretty awful time in high school the year before and also moved 15 hours away from the town I grew up in. Life was a hectic hell.
Her answer - I should move out of home. With what means? Didn't matter apparently the problem was I was a mooch on my parents and I needed to get out.
Witness[rebelmouse-image 18356540 is_animated_gif=
I ghosted my last therapist because he kept talking about [his religion] and how [his religion] made him feel better, so it would make me feel better too. After I specifically said I wasn't interested in finding comfort in religion.
After I specifically said that coming from a religious family and the fallout surrounding that was part of the reason I was there. He kept pushing.
So I told him I'd book an appointment with reception and never did.
Replacement[rebelmouse-image 18357930 is_animated_gif=
He replaced my favorite therapist, who had retired to spend more time with his grandchildren.
In our first session, he rolled his eyes and made a joke about jumpers taking up all his time. This was five minutes after we met.
Needless to say, I did not feel comfortable talking about my past suicide attempt with him, or about anything more heavy than the weather. I cancelled our next appointment and waited months to be seen by a different therapist in a different practice. My new therapist does not make jokes about her suicidal patients, and I am actually kind of sad that I'll have to leave her to go to grad school.
Blame Versus Responsibility[rebelmouse-image 18357931 is_animated_gif=
She kept telling me that nothing was my fault. I realized that I should be coming to terms with the things I've done and finding ways to forgive myself for them...how could I do that when she kept telling me it was all due to others?
They didn't make me do any of things I did, or force me to feel a certain way.
Inappropriate[rebelmouse-image 18346828 is_animated_gif=
He asked me the same sexual questions over and over again even though I was there for a suicide attempt over bullying.
Conversion Con[rebelmouse-image 18357932 is_animated_gif=
He essentially said my childhood trauma was the only reason I was gay and suggested therapy to turn me straight again.
Nasty[rebelmouse-image 18357933 is_animated_gif=
Back in 2015 I was going to therapy for my social anxiety and OCD, but at the same time, I had anorexia and it was getting worse very rapidly. I dropped all the way down to 78 pounds. Obviously as my weight loss became more apparent, it became more of a topic of discussion.
I went in for my appointment and the therapist said "So, what did you do this week"? and before I could say anything, she laughed and she said "Well, obviously you didn't spend your time eating." It really ticked me off because it's such a sensitive topic and I was at a point of fragility, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I thought it was really just a nasty comment to say.
Useless[rebelmouse-image 18348278 is_animated_gif=
The fact that after 2 years, he hadn't given me any comfort or reason to suspect I was getting better.
He would just nod and his questions were so unrelated to what I told him. When I told him about domestic abuse once, he said 'and how do you think that makes you feel?' I replied with 'pretty low, I feel useless'. Then he said 'mmm and do you have any siblings'.
Seriously, the guy was useless.
Clean Bill of Health[rebelmouse-image 18357935 is_animated_gif=
When she told me I couldn't possibly be depressed because I take showers.
Money Matters[rebelmouse-image 18357936 is_animated_gif=
She told me multiple times throughout my session that it "would be ok" if I wanted to see someone else, asked me if I was interested in seeing someone else, and proceeded to finish the session 15 minutes early, with the last 5 minutes of the session asking me how I'm going to pay.
Works On Dementors[rebelmouse-image 18357938 is_animated_gif=
My daughter died. I went to a grief therapist who specialized in infant death. During my first visit, she told me I just need to eat chocolate and I would feel better. I kid you not. My husband was in the room with me. At the end of the session she told my husband, "Make sure you get her some chocolate."
We left, I bought a Hershey bar, ate it. Did not feel better. Never went back to her.
Notations[rebelmouse-image 18357939 is_animated_gif=
All her notes were doodles. Like fourth grade style lines and patterns that start in one corner of the page.
I honestly wouldn't have minded if she didn't ask me the same question three sessions in a row and then forget. That's what your notepad could be used for.
2 Strikes, You're Out[rebelmouse-image 18357513 is_animated_gif=
In the first session, she asked about all the details, ALL the details of what caused my trauma. I cried during the session, went home and cried more.
The next week, she told me that I can't be cured, I'll have that trauma and depression forever, and should stop trying to do anything about it.
There was no third session. Not with that person. I found another therapist.
Age of Aquarius[rebelmouse-image 18357940 is_animated_gif=
She started talking about how Saturn was in retrograde. So I kind of smiled politely.
Then she started talking about her horse and I was like, "Yeah, let's bring this back around to me."
HIPAA[rebelmouse-image 18357941 is_animated_gif=
When he broke doctor patient confidentiality and told my dad everything that I said in therapy.
Never see a shrink who is friends with your parents.
People Confess Which Things From Their Childhood They Thought Were Normal Until They Were An Adult
Every family has customs or traditions which are unique to them.
Be it all gathering together to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol every Christmas eve or an annual fried chicken picnic with dark and stormies every fourth of July. They are well aware not everyone does this, which makes it all the more special.
However, depending on the way it was introduced to them, some children are raised to think certain customs or habits done by their family are, indeed, normal.
Only to grow up and realize that theirs might have been the only family in the world which partook in them.
In some cases, this discovery is met with laughs and maybe the tiniest bit of embarrassment.
Other times, it's no laughing matter.
"What's something about your childhood that you thought was normal at the time but realiszd as an adult that it wasn't?"
Seemed Like A Good Idea, Until You Read Why...
"Having a cooler in the car."
"My parents always packed one, there were cokes and waters in it."
"The weird part was there was also always beer in it."
"Didn't matter if we were going 12 hours or 1 hour, they packed a cooler."
"Didn't realize how much my mom was drinking until years later when she become a non-functioning alcoholic."- IslandsOnTheCoast·
Dad Of The Year!
"When i was a kid I thought that all the Korean candy stores were free."
"Like you could go in, take what you wanted and leave."
"I would make friends with other Korean kids, take them to my favorite candy stores and tell them to help themselves. which they did."
"So apparently, whenever we'd visit my family in Korea, my dad would talk to all the candy shop owners in the neighborhood and tell them to put anything me or my friends took, on a tab."
"Maybe it was because i barely even spoke korean, but that whole situation just seemed perfectly f*ckin normal to my oblivious little self."- yaybunz
Boundaries Exist For A Reason
"In hind sight I realize that what I thought was 'freedom' was actually neglect."
"Kids aren't supposed to be left to themselves in such a degree that they end up raising themselves."
"From personal experience doing so leads to a lot of misunderstandings on how things are supposed to be."- Hattkake·
A Little Sensitivity Does Go A Long Way
"Being really sensitive to people's emotions because you never know if they could be in a bad mood."
"Turns out I learned that from my dad to make sure I don't make it worse."- UpstairsDifficult966
Think Carefully If You Have What It Takes To Be A Parent...
"Parents aren't supposed to make fun of their kids, complain about what they have to do for their children, and break down when they don't feel validated by their own child."- Doobledorf
"My mom never cooked, and there would be a lot of nights where I went without food because she didn't buy any."
"I thought it was normal for a mom to sleep the majority of the day."
"In reality she was always f*cked up on painkillers."
"Then, with my grandmother, she was controlling over whatever clothes, shoes, and how my hair looked."
"I always had to look like a good Christian boy."- Additional-Soup3853
"I was in college before I learned that you don't have to get your mother a gift for your birthday because 'she's the one that did all the work that day'."- lylertila
Kind Of Sad To Think Self-Sufficiency Is So Rare...
"Being able to fix things myself."
"My dad is an engineer and throughout my childhood we'd come up with random creative projects to build stuff, he'd show me how to fix things and what safety precautions to look out for."
"Now if something happens at my flat I know how to fix it (or I call my dad and he'll guide me)."
"My boyfriend and friends have no idea how I know this stuff or how to do these things themselves, I always thank my Dad!"
"It's great because I get to save a lot of money, and I've saved money for my friends too!"
"Also, it means a lot to me because at the time and the town I was in girls weren't encouraged to do engineering, but my dad didn't care."
'I was little girl and thought it was essential for me to know how to do these things myself."
'I think he also hoped I'd one day become an engineer!"- imhere2913
Sadly, Not As Common As You Thiink...
"My parents were happily married and our home was happy and loving."- IllChampionship5
"Actually liking your parents/siblings/family."
"Almost everyone I know can't stand the people they grew up with, which I find strange."- ThatDukeGuy
Making A Custom Even More Meaningful
"Every Christmas my parents would buy me and my siblings one Christmas ornament to decorate the tree, which typically highlighted a special event or something important or a topic we were highly interested in that year."
"The tree started off rather bare at first, but after five kids and twenty-five years, that thing was filled from top to bottom, and shows a history of our lives."
"I thought it was how everyone decorated family home Christmas trees for awhile, but apparently it’s pretty unique to us."- RummelNation
Leading To A Massive Vocabulary No Doubt...
"Having a room full of dictionaries."
"I was baffled when I met kids in secondary school (as an adult doing a teacher training course at the time) who didn't even understand the basics of how to use one in their own language, let alone a two-language one."
"My dad was a translator so growing up it was just a normal thing, and I would sometimes just take one and look up random words in different languages for fun."- MrLuxarina
Unbelievable That This Isn't Normal
"Being taught to care about everybody, regardless of race, religion, or politics."
"We were lower middle-class farmers and we played with everyone."
"Everybody was welcome in my parents home."
"We had a ginormous garden and my parents gave our neighbors food out of it."
"My parents taught if you give out love, it’s returned 10 fold."
"Needless to say that bit us in the butt some times."
"But my parents died living and believing that."- SCGranny64
Not Exactly Normal, But Far too Commonplace
"When it would rain we would put pots and pans down to catch the drips."
'I would be sent to go have a slumber party with cousins whenever the electricity would get cut off due to nonpayment."
"I thought it was commonplace for people to go thru stuff like that."- RacksDiciprine
Ultimately, everyone's childhood is unique.
Many are grateful to learn just how unusual or special their childhood is.
For others, the discovery proves to be far too little too late.
Do you have something to add? Let us know in the comments.
People Share The All-Time Funniest Examples Of Misheard Lyrics They've Ever Heard
It might be super easy to find the lyrics to a song now that we've all got the entirety of the internet in our pockets, but it didn't used to be so simple. Unless you owned the album, and it was one that actually came with the lyrics on the sleeve/in the case, you just kind of had to guess if the words were unclear.
This led to some extremely amusing, and sometimes mortifyingly embarrassing, misheard lyrics.
Redditor 23andrewb asked:
"What's the your favorite example of misheard lyrics?"
"Jimi Hendix Purple Haze: ''scuse me while I kiss this guy'"
"Roommate back in the day, who would have been about 18 in 1970, told me that Hendrix was aware of the alternate interpretation, and he would gesture at Noel Redding and say ''scuse me while I kiss this guy.'"
Bad Moon Rising
"CCR - bad mood rising 'There's a bathroom on the right.'"
"That's what I thought as a kid. Still say it now because it's funny."
What A Wonderful World
"I see skies of blue And clouds of white The bright blessed day The dogs say goodnight"
"I woke up my dog laughing at this one."
"Did the dog say good night?"
Why Is Everyone Singing About Lorain?
"I want to know, have you ever seen Lorain."
"I can see Clearly now, Lorain is gone!"
"And I wonder, still I wonder. Who'll stop Lorain."
"I can't stand Lorain, on my window..."
"As a child I used to sing 'I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone' and always wondered what poor Lorraine did that was so bad."
Gimme The Beach Boys
"Give me The Beach Boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your Rock and Roll…"
"Wait that’s not the actual lyric?"
"Hahah. Nope! Beat Boys"
Moves Like Jagger
"'remove my jacket' Instead of 'moves like jagger' Boy I felt dumb."
"Moobs like Jagger."
"I’ve got the moose vagina! I got that moose vagina! I got that moOose vagina"
"I guess it rains down in Africa?"
"I’m still somewhat embarrassed to say that I thought it was 'god bless the maids down in Africa'. Thought it was some sort of weird political statement."
"I wept the drains down in aaafrica isn't right then?"
"I always heard it as 'I miss the rains down in Africa' and thought that sounded so lovely and melancholic. I was so disappointed by the real lyric lmao"
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
"Hit me with a wet sock, FIRE AWAY!!!!!"
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am i to disagree"
"Can't argue that!"
Applause ... or Applesauce?
"When I was 14 my dad was driving me to my boyfriends house. On the way over “Applause” by Lady Gaga came on & my dad sang 'I live for the applesauce applesauce applesauce.' I busted out laughing and mocking him."
"Laughed so hard he turned the car around and took me home."
"Regulate - Nate Dogg + Warren G. "I can't believe, they're taking Lawrence Welk".
"I used to hear this song and wonder 'Why is a smooth Gangsta like Warren G listening to Lawrence Welk, and why are these thugs stealing his Lawrence Welk records specifically?'"
"Then someone corrected me. 'They're taking Warren's wealth.'"
Here I Go Again
"Song: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. Lyric: 'Like a drifter I was born to wear cologne'"
"My favorite misheard lyric is 'Hold me closer, Tony Danza' instead of 'Hold me closer, tiny dancer' by Elton John."
"Count the head lice on the highway."
Reelin' In The Years
"Steely Dan, instead of 'Are you reelin' in the years?', got 'Are you really into yeast?'"
"I always heard 'reelin' in the East' but like your version better, lol"
You Oughta Know
"'It's not fair, to deny me Of the crosseyed bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know' -Alanis Morissette"
"How could you take her crosseyed bear Dave Coulier"
Have you ever embarrassingly misheard the lyrics to a song? How long did it take for you to realize, or for someone to correct you? Let us know in the comments.
All jobs are important. If they weren’t, those jobs wouldn’t exist.
However, some people view their profession as so important that they begin to develop a superiority complex.
This can be true for all professions, but Redditors maintain it’s more common in certain professions.
It all started when Redditor nameisMark asked:
“What profession attracts douchebags the most?”
“Clerks in high-end fashion boutiques. So snotty and pretentious, I mean...you work for them, you are NOT them. And most likely your clients are wealthier than you. Chill the f**k down.”
“Some are fine but others act like youre the one who doesnt belong there. Like lol bruh you just work there. It's not like you can even afford anything inside. Which is no big deal but don't act like you're gatekeeping that store”
“Love the folks in high-end watch stores who have a huge ego about working at the mall and can’t afford a single product there.”
"I remember when I bought my first house. COULD have bought one much sooner, but was just doing the young person thing of moving around for job promotions, etc. (Keep in mind, I was still only 29 when the below story happened.)"
"I was not/am not definitely not part of the generation that considered (outside of work) dressing down as wearing some khakis and a button up. Nope. I'll wear my sweats and a hoodie. Thanks."
"Anyway, I went to the furniture store closest (less than five minutes away) not because it seemed like the nicest place, but because it was close. A salesman asks "Can you afford anything in here?" The very stereotypical salesman - either in his 50s or aged terribly, probably weighed 2x-3x more than me, can tell he has 14 cents in his savings account - too. Not like some world-class salesman working on Wall Street."
"I wanted to tell him I had more money in my pocket than he has in his entire life, but I just turned around and walked away."
The Clique Game
"Doctor here. Nearly half or more of my colleagues are a**holes"
"Medicine and the hospital environment is high school all over again, and the lounge is the cafeteria."
"The academic system they pass through to get to medical school does not reward good personality or balance."
Please Don't Convince Me
"Any sales job. The competitive nature of the job means that the more confident and pushy you are, the more successful you are. It draws a certain personality type."
"Assumptive language is one of the most off-putting aspects of the dating world, imo. If I get the feeling you’re trying to sell me on going out/going home with you I definitely don’t want to."
Power Over The People
"Anybody in the criminal justice system. The amount of power they have over the general public or incarcerated individuals is horrifying and exploited far too often. These people also tend to adopt a gang mentality worse than the people they arrest"
"Speaking as someone who’s got incarcerated immediate family, 80% prison guards my family has dealt with are violent thugs and should be in prison themselves for the heinous things theyve done."
"I'm A Professional"
"Fitness trainers… particularly male ones. My f*cking god. I don’t know if it’s the steroids or testosterone but jesus christ."
"Honestly I’m a female persona trainer, but the first interview I had with a male fitness trainer was awful. He kept talking about how he basically knew everything there was to know in the fitness industry, which is ridiculous because it’s an ever evolving science. Anyway, if I’m generalizing I completely agree. Although I have met some extremely kind male fitness trainers as well."
"Internet and Phone companies. (Rogers/Bell in Canada)"
"I don't know about most but I am starting to really not like civil engineers. My current pick."
Abuse Of Power
"bouncers. And I've never been in trouble with the law in my life or been in a fight etc but I've seen enough of them in action just being abusive power trippers and escalating situations needlessly. It's often akin to school yard bullying."
Money, Money, Money
"anything to do with money: bank, insurance ...etc"
"How has no one said finance, my goodness."
"Kimberly may be busy posting pictures of her "girl boss" mug while boasting about her ability to run her own company on her own time while being a super mom but I dont want her ugly leggings, crappy skincare or oil of oregano I can use to cure asthma, crowsfeet and the flu. Kimber is insufferable and I need to go to my real job that actually pays the bills."
"I'm Your Biggest Fan"
"This should be way higher. Paparazzi are scum."
"Hey that’s not fair what did pizza ever do to you"
What Happened To Beside Manner?
“Worked healthcare IT.
I've never met a surgeon that who wasn't putting literally every bit of effort they had into "The World's Biggest D-bag" contest.”
“I met one briefly who wore a big medallion, presumably by choice”
Yeah, I saw that coming!
Do you have any more to add? Let us know in the comments below.
People Break Down The Most Beautiful Places To Visit In The United States
America the beautiful.
So much to see. So much to experience.
Just because we don't have exotic oceans and ancient history doesn't mean there isn't majesty to take in.
There are many vacations to put together.
And now we don't have to use a paper map to plan.
Our apps and GPS have it all planned out.
Redditor driedkitten wanted to compare notes about the greatest ways to see the USA, so they asked:
"Where is the most beautiful place in the United States?"
So far the cliffs of California is my favorite part of the US.
The Fallsniagara falls GIFGiphy
"Subjective of course, but Crater Lake is certainly a sight to behold."
"My home state of Oregon is full of beautiful places, South Umpqua falls, Illinois River, and Multnomah falls. Are some favorites."
"A tie for Acadia, Hoh rainforest, and Rainier in the fall."
"I was going to say Acadia. It's very underrated for some reason. My mom's friend by coincidence ended up being my English professor in college and we went on a trip to see family in ME. We stopped at Acadia for a day and she said it reminded her a lot of her visit to Greece."
"Hoh rainforest is absolutely devastatingly beautiful. Hiked the whole Hoh river trail when I was 17 and it's still near the top of the list for my favorite things I've ever done."
"Glacier national park. I was continuously in awe that the place was real life."
"The vistas of this road, on a motorcycle, were beyond breathtaking to experience. Would 100% do it again. Being on a bike allowed for stops at the waterfalls where there was no room for vehicles to pull over, and the views from the tunnels under the road were supernatural."
The Road Ahead
"There is a stretch of the Navajo reservation where there is no cell service, AM or FM radio reception. The road stretches before you for miles surrounded by red rocks touching blue sky. The buzzing undercurrent of modern connectivity fades away and your brain can be truly still."
"We did a little unscheduled off-roading in that area when we came to a road closed barrier. A Navajo couple pulled up alongside us while we pondered the dirt road heading roughly in the direction we wanted to go and assured us it was passable. Really lonely place... but wonderful."
On a Clear DayMountain GIF by Sunshine VillageGiphy
"If I stand right at the doorjamb of my front door on a clear day, I have a beautiful view. I owned this house for 15 years before I figured that out. You can't see it from any other position in the doorway, or if you're outside."
Mountains are hot. That is all.
See the CountryHappy Dance GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy
"Depends on what you’re looking for. The United States is a big place."
"For me - Hawaii is hard to beat."
"Zion National Park is the most well-known place in Utah. But my entire state is an outdoorsman's paradise. LOTs of beautiful scenery in both the northern and southern parts of the state."
"Totally!!! And it’s very different. I personally prefer Southern Utah because the red rocks make me feel like I’m on Mars. But I grew up in the salt lake valley, so the mountains lost a lot of their majesty. But if I’m being honest, I miss them terribly."
Smell the old growth
"I’m incredibly biased, but the most beautiful place is the California redwoods. Drive up 101, and then detour towards Petrolia. There is absolutely nothing like it. Roll down your windows and drive 35mph. Smell the old growth. Stop at the pull out. Take a small hike. It’s worth it."
"Yes, 100%. My brother lives in McKinleyville and I am going to see him the end of April. Can't wait. It's my happy place. They are like the Grand Canyon and Niagara Falls... you have to see them to believe them. Those redwoods are something else!"
"Yosemite! You drive thru the tunnel and come out the other side. Looks like heaven/Utopia."
"Did a hike in Yosemite on January 1 last year. A spectacular way to start the year. I had seen photos of it, seen it in movies, watched countless videos on Youtube about it but -nothing- prepares you for the sight of El Cap as you turn that corner. I was very nearly moved to tears."
AmazingEpisode 1 Boat GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"The Shenandoah Valley. Its an amazing place if you're an outdoorsman. Hiking, fishing, hunting, bird watching, camping."
All the wonders of the world. I may have to check all of these out.
What did we miss? Let us know in the comments below.