Yes children are beautiful gifts and being able to be parents is a miracle.
So many people long for the chance to build a family of their own with screaming children.
Whether a family is built through blood or adoption, it doesn't matter, it's a dream fulfilled.
But that doesn't mean it has to be for everybody.
We all don't have to be parents and many people really shouldn't, so let's support the people who choose themselves just as much as we support families.
Redditoronlinebeingwanted the childless to say their piece by asking...
Redditors that plan to probably not have kids, what are your reasons?
Enough Said.
Giphy"I was a teacher."
CatrionaPatricia
"I teach high school, and I have noticed that percentage of married teachers without kids is much higher than the average population. I think spending six to seven hours a day with kids really drives home how difficult having kids is, and that it is not a decision to make lightly."
Workacct1999
Legacy.
"I'm horrible at handling stress and sleep deprivation, and I probably have a genetic disorder that I absolutely don't want to pass on."
bonita__applebum
"I have so much crap in my family, from cancer to dementia that I'd be terrified to pass along."
JimBobSandoval
Disorders.
"Diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I've seen r/raisedbynarcissists and I am not putting any kid through that."
buzz_darkyear69
"Narcissism is very complicated, and it's also a spectrum. Narcissistic people are perfectly capable of being good people."
Animalgirlmep
So Many Reasons.
"Couldn't afford raising kids. Didn't have good upbringing so wouldn't know how to raise one. And the fear of pregnancy messing up my body. "
Smokeyeyemiss
"At some point I might've been on the fence about having kids, but there was a thread on AskReddit that went along the lines of, 'What's the worst part of pregnancy that nobody talks about?'"
"That's how I, an adult woman who's taken multiple iterations of sex ed, first heard about shit like massive tears, about being intentionally cut open from your anus to vagina to give the kid more room to escape, and never being able to hold your pee ever again. No thanks dude."
Not for Me.
Giphy"I don't feel like sacrificing my life for them. I salute all of you, people, who do this. But tell me honestly, wouldn't the world be a better place, if people only made kids when they want to have kids instead of just doing what is expected of them? "
AzarTheGreat
Born Free!
"My wife and I like our freedom and money."
PM_GUITAR_PICKS
"My husband and I have use-it-or-lose-it time off to burn before the end of the year, and we were talking about what to do with it. Neither of us really felt like taking a staycation, because we knew we'd just end up working. So after talking about if for like ten minutes, we went to Costco's website and booked a trip to Hawaii. We leave right after Thanksgiving."
ObscureEmoji
Never felt like it.
"I've never had that 'I really want kids feeling.' Ever. I'm in my thirties, if it were going to come it would have been here by now, and there's no way I could blithely create a whole new human hoping it turned out hunky dory without actually wanting them."
"I mean of course it makes life in the performing arts more feasible without kids, I don't have to worry about my already-fragile body taking serious damage, I can sleep, I can save money, etc etc but if I wanted kids, those "reasons" wouldn't matter."
"The only reason that matters is that I just don't want kids. The same way I don't want a parrot — they're amazing for other people, but I don't want one in my house."
"Edit: I was briefly pregnant when I was 27. It's not "different when it's your own." I got sterilized at 29 and I am still consciously grateful at least once a week that I can live my life on my terms without being paranoid about another accident."
Subtlety87
Crappy Choices.
"I know how crappy this sounds but if my child came out autistic or with some severe mental issues, I just couldn't do it and it's not fair to them, my wife, or any of their siblings that would be guilted into taking care of them when I die."
SHROOMHEAD666
"I was married in my 20s and it came to light fairly quickly that her gene pool was going to make any children we had a coin flip. Knowing what struggles she was facing, we decided early on that we couldn't do that to a child and just live with it if they turned out having the same or similar issues."
"I got used to the idea of never having kids pretty easily and embraced it soon after that. When my wife passed away, I actively looked for partners without children and found a girl with similar preferences. 10 years later, we are very happy with our decisions."
Darth_Corleone
Witnessing the Truth.
"I was open to it until my brother and sister-in-law had kids. Nope. Not a chance. They have no time to themselves, they're always tired, they've aged terribly, they don't get to do things that they want any more. They love it and my niece and nephew are lovely, but that's as close to that lifestyle as I'm willing to get."
Resentments.
Giphy"With my current mindset, I'd be an awful mom. Resenting my kids for my lost freedom. But who knows, I might grow out of it."
wanderforward
18+ years
"Every once in awhile I check in with myself and try to imagine the most amount of time per day that I would be willing to commit to parenting for 18+ years (but obviously more so in the first 5-10) and it's never more than 20-30 minutes... I feel like I would have to be okay with giving up at least 4-6 hours for it to even be a possibility worth thinking about."
No Kids.
"I don't like kids. I fear that they'll end up having a social-limiting condition that would make or difficult for them through life. I fear for my wife's pregnancy and all the risks that go with it. I fear that, no matter what, they'll end up in a gang or just freaking loser."
"I grew up with amazing Friends, raised the same but each got deviated into different stuff (obviously) but some went directly to the crapper. Bad economy in my country to have a kid."
Redna_VanLee
Money Issues
"2 reasons - I live very nicely with only myself to take care of, but it is paycheck-to-paycheck. Again, not struggling, but it's just comfortable enough for me. It wouldn't be realistic to bring a huge burden to that. I also worry a bit about how much of my mental illness they'd inherit."
SamuraiPanda201
Not Me
Happy Kids Say The Darndest Things GIF by CBSGiphy"I don't see me ever finding someone to have kids with, and I personally think with the way my life currently is it wouldn't be fair to adopt or get a surrogate etc."
evilabed24
We like our time...
"My husband and I were upfront with each other from the beginning... neither of us should be parents. I love kids. They’re great. I like giving them back to their owners more. Mental and physical illness don’t run in our families, it gallops like a racehorse."
"Bipolar, clinical depression, suicide, schizophrenia, arthritis, heart disease, diabetes, addiction, autoimmune disorders, and cancer are throughout both family trees. Men on my maternal side tend to drop dead of massive heart attacks before 65. That’s not a fair playing field to plop a child onto and I couldn’t do it."
"We're also poor and deeply selfish. We like our time. On top of all that I know my temperament. I stress easily and break down sometimes, becoming nonfunctional. I couldn’t bring a child into the world with the knowledge they’d resent me as a parent."
inmyotherpants79
Stability
"Okay so it might be a slightly different answer to what you'd expect from that question, but well. I'd like to have kids, but I don't want them to be genetically mine; even though I'd love to experience pregnancy myself, I think that if I had a life stable enough to be able to support a child, I don't see why I shouldn't adopt one that is already born and is in need of a loving family."
improdige
Little Lives
"I think I'd be a great dad, but internally I'd hate the crap out of it and probably resent myself. Kids are the worst they are narcissistic little messes who basically keep you locked in stagnant while they grow up for 18 years. I don't like taking care of my responsibilities now, and you want me to take on more responsibilities? With their little lives on the line? No thanks, my gf and dog are enough responsibilities for me."
i_*uckin_luv_it_mate
Unfair
"I don’t like kids, for one. I’m also disabled and my condition causes a lot of pain and fatigue so I wouldn’t be able to do it anyway. It just wouldn’t be fair."
LoveAndDynamite
I had ruined her life...
"My mother and grandmother constantly told me that having kids would ruin my life. I never could figure out when it would be a good time to ruin my life. So instead of 3 kids and no money, I have no kids and 3 money. Actually 7 houses and a dog. And, yes, my mother constantly told me that, as first born, I had ruined her life. She could not become the air force pilot, archaeologist, race car driver that she wanted to be."
inkseep1
Hell No!
Parks And Recreation Nbc GIF by HULUGiphy"I saw my older sister give birth (she wanted family around super hippie chick) that was more than enough to put me off."
WellieThomas
Aggressive...
"I aggressively do not want kids. Other people's kids annoy me with their sounds and fluids, and I know that mine would annoy me ten times more with it being always in my face and needing constant attention. I'm glad there's people out there who can give kids happy, loving homes, and I don't hate kids (they just make me uncomfortable and gross me out) but maaaaaan it is not for me at all."
dal_segno
Children are a huge responsibility and they're not for everyone. People have very valid reasons for wanting them and for wanting to avoid them at all costs. Both points of view are completely valid.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.
I tripped on a dead tree branch.
The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.
My belongings were strewn about.
And my to-go burger was dead.
A simple walk.
A simple dead branch.
And almost lights out.
Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:
"How did you almost die?"
Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.
We're always moments from the end on highways.
Back in the Day...
Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."
ChristmasKid88
On the Disk
"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."
EatA**FromBack
"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."
dimlylit_
Saved
"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."
loztriforce
"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."
coffeejunki
Shucked
"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."
"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."
datnetcoder
Finding Tracks
College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."
danvo5
Bears are a no go for me.
Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!
Several Strikes
Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."
"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."
lizard_king0000
Oh Barb
"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."
"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"
CharismaticAlbino
Climb Up
"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."
Yugan-Dali
Blood Loss
"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"
Material_Cry1697
These were some tremendously close calls.
Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.
