We throw around the word luck so flippantly. There are many moments in life fueled by luck and often we're so thrilled to experience it, we're just rejoicing. And that is perfectly fine. But life teaches us, we cannot afford to take luck or life for granted. Luck is an understatement when it comes to being unscathed by evil. True evil, walks among us and we interact with the worst of society on the daily and we never even fully comprehend how close to being snuffed out we are. We're all "almost" walking Dateline NBC episodes.
Redditor u/lolita-cake wanted to hear the chilling misconnections tales with life's most vile by asking who was willing to share the following.... People who had a close encounter with a murderer/serial killer, how did it go? How did you find out that person was dangerous?
Some of the following may not be suitable for younger readers. Trigger warnings below.
"holy crap, did you get the same creepy feeling from him I did?"
A childhood friend of mine had this boyfriend that nobody liked. She ran off and eloped with him. He cheated on her a bunch and there was constant drama (my wife worked with her, and we were some of her few childhood friends still in the area so we were pretty close). Like, she'd come spend the night on our couch occasionally and stuff. An obviously unhealthy and likely abusive marriage.
He seemed to mellow out when they had kids. At least there wasn't any more overt drama going on and we think he legitimately stopped cheating. He also got really religious. Something about this creeped my wife and me out and made us hate being around him even more than before. It's like when someone is pretending they're happy but you know it's not real.
Like all the overt anger and drama transformed into something more subtle. On the surface he's turned over a new leaf and is becoming a better person, but it just seems off in a way we can't quite articulate. We tried to be happy for them and supportive, but once they weren't around it was like "holy crap, did you get the same creepy feeling from him I did?"
Then one day he murdered her. Their kids were at a friend's house at the time. There was evidence that he'd been planning this for over a year. He's in prison for life now.
We learned not to ignore any red flags or intuitive creeped-out feelings about people after this. Especially about people married to someone we care about. frumpy_teapot
Do Math not Meth....
I was in high school with this dude who had a reputation for being very hyper and crazy. A lot of people didn't like him but he was not an outcast. For some reason he liked me, and would occasionally ask me to help him with math which I did.
He later moved to another school and I didn't think of him much again. Until he showed up on the news for beheading a dog and carrying its head around in public. Turns out he had also held an autistic man hostage in his apartment and tortured him, all of this was done on a meth fueled rampage. asap-curry
Several years back, I used to work with a guy we'll call James. I never felt unsafe around him, but I don't think he was entirely there mentally. A few years after I quit working there, I ran into my old boss and was talking with him for a bit. Turns out, James had killed his wife, fled the scene, and barricaded himself in a barn. Police surrounded the barn, and he had no way of escaping. When police entered the barn, he pointed a gun at a officer, and the police opened fire on him, killing him. The gun he pointed at police didn't even have any bullets in it. thegreatestsnowman1
This one isn't as dramatic but still kinda freaky.
When I was in high school (uk) there was this guy who just hated me. So damn much. I don't even know why. He was the definition of roadman and just made my life hell whenever he saw me with his bullying. But whatever. He was just a bully with a stupid perm. I could deal.
Later on in year 10 he ended up getting arrested for attempted murder.
Wonder if killing me ever crossed his mind. colespot
When I was in high school/early uni, I had a stalker. We had briefly worked together at a restaurant and he asked me out at one point when I was fifteen and he was twenty. I turned him down and for the next six years he would pop up intermittently to harass me and my then-boyfriend. He would message me to say he was jerking off to my pictures then immediately apologize and tell me he had changed, or would message my ex to meet him somewhere so they could fight (my ex who, for the record, had never met him and did not ever go fight).
Last year, my stalker made the news for committing the first murder of 2019 in our city. I don't know the details, but according to the news he stabbed a friend and then fled, only to be caught soon after waiting for public transit (he was never the sharpest). My ex and I were broken up by that point and boy was that a weird way to reconnect after ~4 months of little contact. It still freaks me out to know that he was capable of murder and that it could have been me or my ex. brighteyeswhitelies
It was 1989....
It was 1989, my dad was driving down a road late at night. He lived in Florida. As he was driving, he saw a woman on the side of the road trying to hitch hike. My dad, being kindhearted, slowed down to give her a ride.
As he slowed down, he had a chill down his spine and had the worst feeling he ever felt. He did not pick up that woman.
That woman was named Aileen Wournos. She killed a man on that road later in the day.
My little brother exists today because my dad chose to not pick that woman up. Reddit
I'm in the medical field. A few years ago I was on a forensic psychiatry rotation and went with the psychiatrist to do an assessment at the prison. There was a man there who had been convicted with undeniable evidence that he had brutally raped and murdered a woman. We were there to try to determine whether or not he qualified as a "Dangerous Offender" - in the Canadian legal system this means someone at very high risk of re-offending. In practice this meant we were trying to determine whether he qualified as "psychopathic" - meaning someone who does not experience empathy.
Probably a Psychopath.....
So during the assessment he was friendly, extremely relaxed, casual, and even charming. When asked about specifics of the murder he would brush them off or just make very vague statements. At other times he would just smile or say things like "do you really think I could do something like that?" If I had just met him on the street he probably would have seemed like a very nice guy but being aware of his offense he came across as incredibly unnerving.
TL:DR - met man who was probably a psychopath. He was charming and superficially a nice guy but somehow creepy and unsettling. OGilligan
A Little Different.
I went to school (elementary - high school) with a guy who showed up at his sister's apartment and brutally murdered her for seemingly no reason at all. I believe he stabbed her multiple times.
In school he was always a little "different" but was always nice. I had even hung out with him on several occasions at my house, riding dirt bikes, etc. He was in the church youth group with me. He was really into punk music and heavy metal. I think he started smoking pot and drinking towards the end of high school. But that's all fairly normal. There was nothing about him that ever came across as someone who would one day snap and murder his closest family member.
His sister was a very sweet girl. The saddest part was that her 20 month old son was asleep in his crib in the other room.
Pretty sure he was the one that called the police and turned himself in. ExistentialCircus
A Bad Apple...
Many years ago I worked for a large corporation. I became friendly with a couple of the secretaries who were around my age and we would go out, have lunch, hang out on weekends occasionally. The one girl had tremendous self-confidence and was a go-getter and I really admired how unafraid she was to do anything. I wished I had only a tenth of her charisma and fearlessness.
At least twenty-ish years go by and in that time social media, (FaceBook), became a thing and she was living a great life. She was successful at her corporate career and then changed careers and was also successful there. Got married, had children, big house, got divorced, but still seemed to be doing really well.
One morning I'm watching the news and there's a story about a cop who was shot and killed by his (estranged) girlfriend and the guy was on his cell phone with his daughter when it happened. It was a headliner for a while however, it took a couple of days before I connected the dots and realized the woman who shot and killed her boyfriend, (the retired cop), was this girl from way back when whom I had admired and envied so much. purplesafehandle
I was an addict actively using in the area the Seminole Heights Serial killer was active in. I regularly popped into the McDonalds he worked at to use their ATM or bathroom, and one time he personally (with three other female employees) yelled at me to get out of their bathroom. It was less than 5 minutes from my drug dealers house and his MO at the time was to shoot randomly into cars. I regularly waited in mine 30+ minutes to pick up. He was caught and I saw it on the news while taking my meds at my rehab, told the nurses the whole story! Emma_Stoneddd
There was a time when kidnappings were happening in my home country. I encountered one of the kidnappers at 6 years old, who, true to the stereotype, offered me candy. Lucky for me, the only candy that has ever and can ever entice me to be stupid is Twizzlers. Lucky for me, he only had Nerds and Starburst. I ran off and told him no thanks.
He picked up another boy that night. He killed him. If he'd had Twizzlers, I'd have paused for at least more than the 15 seconds for him to close the distance. Would I have gone with him for a box? I don't know. Do I question my folks letting me walk home at 6? Kind of. It was 5 minutes from school and things were hard.
I think about it all the time. That poor kid who probably liked Starburst. RealDegeneracy
It was my biological dad's 30th birthday and we decided to throw him a surprise party and invited a bunch of people from his work. My brother and I were in our room playing on the Sega Genesis because it was all adults and we just wanted to stay out of their way. While we were playing together, a dude comes in and sits on our bed to watch us play. He said his name was Danny and asked us a bunch of weird questions. "Do you take the bus to school? How old are you? What's your favorite food?" He gave us a bad vibe and just seemed off somehow.
Like he was TOO interested in what we were doing. My mom comes in and sees him in there with us and tells us to go watch movies in her room so my brother and I say goodbye and go to her room instead. A couple months later, my parents were watching the news and Danny is on the TV. He ended up being Daniel Conohan Jr, The Hog Trail Killer. He killed over a dozen homosexual men in our area and had tortured them and left them tied to trees in the woods to die. Vaaca_Del_Muerte
I took a class offered by my local municipality for unemployed young adults. They taught us Digital Marketing and basic web design, and at the end of the class, they were supposed to get us jobs. ANYWAY, a few weeks after that class finished, I saw one of the best students in that class on the TV, being held by police. He had killed his 2 yo by beating her to death for crying. I couldn't believe it! He was very calm and quiet and excelled at everything we did in that class. Never crossed my mind he would do something like that. aballofunicorns
Not my own story but some family friends of ours had an experience with the zodiac killer. They were together in their car on lovers lane or whatever the spot was called where couples went to hook up. The wife got a weird feeling in her gut and begged the husband to leave. He was kind of upset because he was in town for one night from the military so this was their one night together. Finally she convinced him to leave. They told the only other couple at the spot that they were leaving because at the time the zodiac was known to be active so people kept an eye out for each other. Years later the zodiac wrote into the newspaper detailing one of his killings on lover lane.
He described the exact car and said there were two couples left and he was going to take both out before one of the couples went up to the other and gave them a heads up before leaving. Right when they left he killed the couple that stayed. Every detail of the night from the date to the cars to the time of night matched up perfectly so they knew it was them who left just in time. jmill0420
Years ago I went with my Mum to visit a friend of hers. Sat bored out of my mind while they sipped their tea cups and waffled on all afternoon. The friend's rather weird adult son, quite a bit older than me was also there in the house but didn't really engage much, I barely spoke more than a few polite sentences to him.
My parents didn't tell me till years later but he started stalking me. They would hear all sorts of sounds at night. I had no idea, just carried on as usual. Biked to school, stayed after for gymnastics, biked to the pool for swimming, etc. I'm not sure how long it lasted.
FFWD a few years, a young girl in our town went missing after school. A week or so later they found her body dumped. You guessed it, it wound up being the son of my Mums' friend. That's when they told me what had happened. Apparently my Mum finally caught him and a word was had with his parents. MamaBear4485
When I was a kid my mom was stalked by an ex who eventually killed her, his own 3-year-old daughter, and himself. I knew this guy for 1.5-2 years prior to the murders, but I remember the first time something really struck me as 'off' about him.
I came home from school and found him in our house (he'd broken in, but I didn't know that at the time) going through things in my mom's bedroom. He was acting kind of manic, like he was ruffling through things but not actually doing anything particular and not looking or taking anything. He kept talking to me about how he thought of me as his daughter (news to me, we got along but weren't close) and blah blah emotional stuff. It was weird but he seemed volatile somehow, like he wasn't all there, so I just acted agreeable and started talking as normally as possible about the chores I needed to do before my mom got home from work and left him in the room alone. He left the house shortly after without another word.
I told my mom about it when she got home, and she was pretty disturbed. Turns out she had just broken up with him (and taken back his key to our house) earlier that day and hadn't told me yet. We realized he had broken into the house (through the garage, iirc), and at a time when he knew I would be there alone.
That was the beginning of nearly a year of stalking and several break-ins, eventually ending in him murdering her and his daughter before pulling the classic 'death by cop.' SteamboatMcGee
When I was a kid back in the 80's, a friend of mine and his friend up around the corner from me were offered money by a guy to go up the field with him. I can't remember the specifics as it's along time ago and I was very young, but I think he offered him money to pick blackberries.
My friend said no but the other boy said yes and went with him. His body was found the next day - he had been stabbed to death. He was only 8 years old. I remember the months that followed every parent was super weary about leaving any of us play on the streets.
The kids name was Kyle Curran. It happened in Waterford, Ireland. throwaway57373662
This isn't an exciting story, but I used to work at an on campus hotel for a Big 12 University. When classes weren't in session, the entire building would be locked down-- only the desk clerk could let you in or out.
We had a spree killer stay with us for almost a week. I was interviewed by the police to see if I had any information that would help them. I said he used doors like a normal person. Barflyerdammit
My dad and step mom at the time allowed a guy to move in with them after he got out of prison for a non violent crime. At first, he seemed grateful to them and would help them out by doing chores or helping my dad in his shop. After being around awhile the guy seemed to like me and would flirt occasionally. He had this fake persona of a Christian trying to turn his life around and after awhile I caught on to his crap.
After months of my parents treating him as one of their own, he left them with debts and moved out while they were at work one day. After hearing of this and other inappropriate things he said about me and our family in general, I'd had enough and took it upon myself to message him and tell him what exactly I thought and I did not mince words. Two months later, he shot a man at point blank range in the face and walked away as if nothing had happened. I still think about that from time to time and how lucky my family and I are. jadednicole
A neighbor during my childhood was convicted over a triple murder. She had been in an argument with some people about a horse she owned. My sister had had sleep-overs with her daughter up until her dogs had killed and eaten another neighbors dog. Her partner, also convicted, intimidated the family who's dog was killed and my parents banned us from going to their house. One day they didn't live there anymore and soon after the murders came to light. AussieArlenBales
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.