Have you ever had someone ask you a question that's waaaaay TMI? And have those questions become things that have been asked of you over and over again in your life? These Redditors know that struggle, and are revealing the questions that make them grind their gears.
u/Master-Salamander asked: What is a question you wish people wouldn't ask you?
The real struggle.
'What do you do for a living?'
I got fired 6 months ago from my job and despite a few interviews and lots of applications, I'm sh*t out of luck so far. Now suddenly nearly everyone I meet is super interested in what I do for a living, I swear they would never ask that before. I hate having to tell people I'm unemployed.
Tall people probs.
Giphy
"How's the weather up there?"
My friend, who's also 6'7" responds with, "Do you play mini-golf?"
Awkward.
"What happened to your neck?" I have a big scar at my throat, had my thyroids removed because of cancer. It's never fun to tell the story and people are all like "oh sh*t, I'm so sorry" after that. Definitely a way to kill the mood!
Ignorant AND sexist.
As a single dad, I wish people wouldn't ask me about my son's mother. 9 times out of 10, they just want gossip.
My mother died when I was a child, people made idiotic assumptions about my fathers ability to parent. "Feed the kids, you know they don't eat at home", "honey do you wanna talk about girl things?", "oh what's the name of your maid? I know you can't keep a house this clean".
That's personal.
Giphy
I am married and we have one young child
"Is he going to get a brother/sister anytime soon?" ... or some other variation, especially from someone you barely know or just met.
Listen, everything about having kids is personal, from the act of procreation to the impact on your life to the financial considerations. Not to mention the feelings about it from the parents, which may not always be aligned. Like please, I told you my kid's name and how old he is, now you wanna bypass superficial acquaintance small talk and go right to deeply personal plans for our life? FOH
A tough interview question.
"Are you a felon?"
I made a mistake a few years back while defending my little sister. I have a final job interview today after a series of interviews for a web developer position and I'm absolutely dreading answering this question.
This isn't entirely the same but it is more similar than it seems. Someone was applying to work for my father and they hadn't worked for quite a long time which was why they couldn't find a job. It turned out that they had been the primary caregiver of a relative the whole time and when my father heard this he hired them on the spot. Even an employer can sympathise with someone who has sacrificed for their loved ones.
Seriously, don't ask people about this.
"When are you going to have children?" Or variations of that question.
I used to be polite and now I start talking about all of the tests and treatments we have gone through to still have no children.
Well Martha, if you didn't want to hear in detail about my ovaries and my husband's motility, why did you even ask?
I always hope it will shock them out of asking someone else such a personal and sometimes painful question.
Think before you speak.
Giphy
I've had a speech impediment since I was able to talk. I stutter on words at seemingly random times, really no specific pattern or sound, when I get nervous or pressure is really high. As a kid I couldn't string more than a few words together, but through school and into college it got much better. As an adult I really don't have many issues in normal conversation, but I absolutely hate having to introduce myself in a group setting (conference meeting, etc.). I seem to stutter on my name 90% of the time. It's pretty embarrassing.
Anyway, the question I hate is when someone asks, "Did you forget your name?" Ugh. I don't know what kind of rock they've lived under, but it completely turns me off from that person for years. Mostly it's meant to be a harmless joke, but if they'd simply put one and one together they'd realize how thoughtless the comment was.
Anyway, that's it.
Stop.
Why are you wasting your time doing [something that I enjoy doing]?
Why are you wasting time worrying about what I'm doing?
A sensitive topic.
How is everything going with the adoption process?
I put on a brave face and answer optimistically when in reality the process has not been going well. I know people are genuinely interested and don't mean harm, but it's a tough question to answer without breaking down.
Sounds like paranoia.
Giphy
"Are you a psychopath? Have you ever killed someone? Please don't kill me!"
Girl. We've been hanging out and talking together in class for months now. The people in our school are nice to me, therefore I am chill and nice with them. I have 3 friend groups and am very social with everyone. Also, why tf would I kill anyone? What benefit would I get out of killing someone? I'd feel like sh*t afterwards, so what's the point? Chill, you're worrying yourself over nothing.
You don't know their story.
"Don't you ever want to meet your real parents?"
Yes, I'm adopted. No, that does not mean I consider my parents to be my fake parents or some dumb shit. My "real" parents are the ones that have been there for me, supported me throughout my life. Not the ones that donated their genetic material.
F*ck MLMs.
If I want to be a #bossbabe and be my own boss. Or to try their new weight loss coffee. F*ck MLMs, man.
\I should also add that when people ask me if I'm feeling better today, it really pisses me off. For context, I have a couple of chronic illnesses and I am never feeling better because they will never go away, thanks for asking, Karen.
That must be infuriating.
Giphy
When I was pregnant sooo many people (almost everyone, even people I barely knew) asked me if it was planned or not and if I was happy about it. How do people not understand how deeply personal a question that is? On a superficial level you are asking me what happened while I was having sex, on a more serious level you are asking if the best thing that ever happened to me was a mistake, even insinuating that I'm too dumb to not get pregnant...
Literally one person, out of friends and family and coworkers, just said "oh congratulations!" when he (a coworker) found out. Everyone else gave me a worried look and said "are you happy about it?" Wtf?
So hypocritical.
Why is it taking you so long to graduate? And why can't you work a REAL job during grad school? F*ck you for those questions when you ask them every month or so. Grad school takes a longer time than a Bachelor degree, and takes up every moment of free time I have with research and writing. A REAL job is why I am going to grad school in the first place, and I am supplementing as much much as I can with the 3-4 jobs I have any given semester.
Then: oh you aren't gonna get paid enough right out of grad school. You better start applying to Taco Bell. From the same people too ashamed and complaining I don't have a REAL job while in grad school. Excuse me but food service is a REAL job, it just doesn't pay as much as my critics want. But now suddenly it's acceptable. From people in my family, and I'm the first to go for a graduate degree. Freaking hypocritical.
Redditor ChrisVIII wanted to discuss the best ways to make living better, in the most simple of ways.
They asked:
"What improved your quality of life so much, you wish you did it sooner?"
Pay attention in school.
Don't drink and drive.
Two very small and life altering decisions I wish I could've done better.
Walk Away
"Walking. After years of trying to run, I simply started walking. 5-7 miles a day in good weather. It is literally life changing in terms of mental and physical health." ~ Merlin560
GiphyAdopt...
"Adopted my block. (adoptoneblock.org) Instead of being sad about trash everywhere, I go out a couple times a week with a grabber and a bucket and just clean it up. Fresh air, a chance to connect with neighbors in a positive way, eyes on the street, neighborhood looks nicer and feels safer, zero downside."
"Adoptoneblock might only be in Oregon, but a picker is like 20 bucks for a good one (I recommend Arcmate brand; they're metal inside and last forever) and 5-gallon buckets are everywhere. Even if you only do the block around your house, it makes a huge difference. Imagine if every block got adopted." ~ binkkit
"helping people out"
"I stopped saying yes to things I didn't want to do." ~ VinnyRuns
"Holy sh*t me too! I used to do hair and eventually once I was working for myself I would say yes to literally everything all the time. Including 'helping people out' and stuff like that. I loved making people happy but I eventually got more and more miserable and ended up with a pretty heavy drug addiction."
"A bunch of years later and some really helpful therapy and I work a job that I actually love and no longer do hair for anyone other than my girlfriend or very close family. Only took 16 years of doing something I didn't really love to finally break and make the changes I needed to get what I want out of life." ~ arcaneresistance
Sail Away
"Taking a yearly vacation. My family never traveled growing up so I didn't know what I was missing out on but I have a good paying job with time off benefits and my wife and I have been taking a vacation every year since we got married, even if it's just something simple the time away from the usual day-to-day does wonders." ~ brshimp
Push No
"Turning off all push notifications except for essentials like financial apps or important contacts." ~ cyan_reynolds
GiphyI'm learning so much already.
And HOW do I turn off those notifications?
Swallow
"Swallowed my pride and got a blue collar job. For almost 20 years I followed my mother's advice, work inside so it's warm when it's cold outside and cool when it's warm outside. Now I deliver packages outside and the weather doesn't bother me. I have no boss on my shoulder and I can do my job however I want." ~ veldrinshade
Restful Nights
"CPAP machine. If you snore at all, you owe it to yourself to get a sleep study and see what is going on. It literally changed my life getting one. I went from constant caffeine throughout the day just to function to feeling rested for the first time in years. Especially if you are overweight like I am, your heart is stopping multiple times an hour as you struggle to breathe while snoring."
"It sucks getting used to the machine (especially if you have to wear the full face mask), but man that first night of actual deep sleep will be life changing. I cannot recommend it enough and I have convinced at least 5 people that I know to get one and they all say the same thing, should have done it years ago." ~ bonez59054
The Top View
"Quit my job and moved to the mountains. I realized I cared more about what I did with my free time than whatever work I did, so I got a job where my SO and I wanted to live. We live in a cute mountain town now and every day watching the sunrise at home gives me 1000% more happiness than anything ever in Illinois." ~ starciv14
Water and bedding are essentials to happy living.
Don't be afraid, you can always start doing better now.
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