But eventually, we need to face the facts, and these Redditors are ready to deliver the harsh truths about what it means to be human. SomeWillingness2960 asked:
What is the truth humanity is not ready to hear?
Let’s start with a few of the light ones, before we dive deep in what we’ve been overdue to hear.
Starting off with a very controversial one.
“The air in chip bags is important.”
“They replace the air (which contains oxygen and water vapour) with nitrogen so the chips don't get soggy or oxidise.”
“And they "over inflate" the bags on purpose to cushion the chips from crumbling during packing / transport.”
A universal work struggle.
season 8 episode 23 GIFGiphy“No matter where you work, or what you do for a living, there will always be That Person that nobody can figure out how they got hired, never mind why they are allowed to continue working there.”
“I remember seeing a post on Reddit that seems to answer it. It basically says that to keep most jobs you just need to tick two out of three of the following attributes(I might have misremembered 1)
- You actually show up on time
- Your work is
good/up to standardis not the worst and passable - Your colleagues and bosses
like youdon't hate you the most out of your colleagues
Edit. Adding 4 and 5 based on below discussions which can supercede the above 3 while also ammending the above three slightly
4. It's more difficult to kick you out than to keep you
5. You have some control over those in charge (some kind of relation, having some kind of incriminating evidence, etc)”
What is “normal”, anyway?
“We will never have a good sense of the world's "normal."
News won't focus on it, because it's boring by definition. Social media won't focus on it for the same reason. Word of mouth and fiction too. Statistics may get us close, but they're hard to picture in terms if human experience, and of course, more exciting stats get repeated more.
Our view of the world outside of our own personal experience will always be shaped by the outliers, and there's not much way around it.”
Ok, now it’s time to dive deeper. Prepare yourselves.
This one hurts.
“Most people simply don't care about the things you're passionate about no matter how much you try to convince them that they should be.”
“As I've gotten older I've had to learn that my friends don't find joy in the same things I do. It's nothing personal.”
People Share Which Social Norms Absolutely Baffle Them | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
I’ll never understand this.
Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy Superhero GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy“Much evil not only goes unpunished but is rewarded.”
“Not only that but a lot of evil behaviour is rewarding itself for many people.”
Unfortunate truth.
“The loudest among you are mostly a bunch of wankers. Unfortunately you usually let them lead you.”
“A big part of that is because they tell us what we want to hear.
You ever hear a politician go "We're going to have open borders, lower corporate tax rate, higher sales tax, reduced prison sentences, laws forbidding employers from looking into if they're hiring a criminal, a ban on beef, and we're doing it all because that is what the experts say we should do and I have a giant book of sources on that"? No, because even though that's very much what experts advise, it's not at all what people want to hear.
So instead, when you hear someone going "Don't listen to that guy, what we really need is better border control, huge taxes on corporations, no taxes on the poor, criminals get treated like the scum they are, and corporations are the main ones behind climate change, and don't ask me for sources", you're still much more likely to support him. Because when you want to believe them, they're so much easier to believe.”
Those would be some very smart monkeys.
“There's a good chance that humans simply don't have the capacity to fully understand the universe.
A monkey will never be able to comprehend calculus, macroeconomic theory, or how a car works. It makes sense that we too have an intellectual ceiling that will prevent us from ever understanding how the universe works.”
Ready to face the music? Keep reading.
Oof.
Giphy“Humanity is the largest threat to itself. Not some natural disaster or outside invasion. We will kill ourselves off at this rate.”
“Yes. It's sad that the most successful and intelligent species in the solar system is most likely going to cause its own downfall.”
Same.
“For most people the last thing left of them will be an eroded name on a headstone.”
“I want to be one of those taxidermied drones.”
Username checks out.
“Are you special? Maybe a little bit. Are you as special as you think you are? Certainly not.”
“We are all the same decaying organic matter.”
Humanity may not want to hear these next few, but we have to face them at some point.
Thanks a lot for that.
Earth Day GIF by Lil DickyGiphy“Earth will cease to exist and it's likely that humanity will go extinct at some point. The andromeda galaxy will collide with the Milky Way and the sun will increase in size, engulfing the earth as it makes its transition to its next stage in the star cycle.
Before any of that happens, the surface of the earth will be too hot to contain water and we could wipe each other out with nuclear weapons any day of the week.”
This SHOULD be common sense…
“If you put yourself in a dangerous situation through sheer recklessness, you're responsible for the consequences.
Example: If you ride your motorcycle without a helmet, get in an accident, and suffer preventable injuries. That's on you for intentionally disregarding your own safety. Obviously, if someone else caused the accident, that's in no way your fault. Choosing not to protect yourself is.”
Well that’s depressing.
“No matter what ideology, what governing principle, what laws, what sense of social justice society runs by, evil is always going to thrive and exist no matter what. The protests that people carry out in every other corner of the world, the people who give away their lives fighting for social justice (me being one of them) have their dreams of realising a world where equality exists among peoole from all kinds. But History shows us that it was never like that, and it will never be like that. Even if it is attained, then it can't be sustained. Evil is going to thrive in some way or the other. That's just human nature.
That said, we keep on our good fight. We keep on demanding and seeking justice and giving in our best, because that's what we do. We rage in the face of dying light, and if we have to Die ourselves, we die trying.”
….woah.
Always Sunny Dennisreynolds GIF by hero0fwarGiphy“You are a different person in each person's mind. Their reality of "you" is not what you really are. On the same note, you can work as hard as you can to be the best human being on Earth and be kind to everyone you meet, you will always be the worst a**hole for someone. And that's ok."
Now for some more space-related terrors.
“Long after we'll be gone, the sun will go supernova. It will annihilate every matter in the entire solar system. Not even dust will remain of us or anything we've achieved unless we dominate space travel before that. Until the universe itself expands beyond life speed, causing matter to cease to exist.
Our only hope is that universe becomes compressed after a massive expansion and a new big bang happens, resetting time itself.”
Well, I hope y’all aren’t too messed up from reading that. Especially that first one about the chip bags. How dare they.
But in all seriousness, just do your part to make our world a better place. That’s all we can do.
Let's be real, we all wanna be special. And some of us are willing to do or say ANYTHING to make themselves feel that way. Usually that leads to some bizarre claims that are meant to be impressive, when in reality, it's probably something that they need to do some inner work on. But that's just my hippie side speaking.
Here are a list of claims that people say to assure themselves that they're different. Am I being cynical? Probably. NotAGoodUsernamelol asked:
Whats something people commonly brag about but isn't actually impressive?
Honestly, the things these first few people brag about are probably just the things that they need to fix.
Crying is not something to brag about.
“People who one up you on how sh*t they think their life is.
Whenever you say you are tired, they counter with "oh I only slept for 3 hours last night" or they brag about how many times they've cried recently, skipped meals, etc.
It's really only a particular kind of person that does this sort of behavior, the attention seeker."
I didn’t know trauma was a competition.
Understand I Get It GIF by Hyper RPG
Giphy
“When people brag about something that happened to them that was worse than what happened to you."
“Oh my god, this. My family is messed up, and I've been registered in CPS' system since about a week before I was born. Mom is a drug addict, dad is abusive, sister is paranoid schizophrenic. Whole ordeal. I got super lucky, and I'm really well off by now. So you can't really tell my background unless I share it.
I did once, to my classmates at lunch break, after a question of why I lived alone in an apt so early (16), and I explained a little bit, and answered all questions that came up.
Lo and behold, this one girl always had something to one up me with. I told the fascinating story of how my dad kidnapped me, and how my mom drove 8 hours to «kidnap» me back. Fun stuff. She interrupted, saying how her dad always forces her to go to soccer practice, and she knows exactly how I would have felt…
Sure, being forced into activities you don't want to at all is messed up, but like… What?????"
These guys are the worst.
“That they're an ‘alpha’. Mate, if you're telling me, you're not one.”
“It's funny if you consider for a moment that the term ''alpha male'' came from a misconception made by a guy studying wolves, who tried warning people that he messed up and that there is no such thing as an ''alpha wolf'', ''beta wolf'' or ''omega wolf''. Turns out he was just not aware that the whole pack that he was studying at the time was quite literally one family of wolves, not several in one pack, so naturally the head of the family is...well...the head of the family. He tried his best to warn us, but the damage had already been done because some meathead discovered his first paper and glossed over the second one.”
Speaking of people who desperately want to be cool, here are a few more certified bad*sses.
To be fair, I’m also scared to ask the clerk where the chips are.
“How badass they are, or what they would do if confronted with a situation. Not always the case, but is pretty common.
We get it, you would knock their @ss out and confront someone if they said X to you, but you were also afraid to ask the store clerk where the chips aisle was at Walmart."
“I have an employee who is constantly telling about how he's beat someone up or threatening to. He's late 50s obese, has high blood pressure and would drop like a sack of sh*t if he ever got punched by a teenager. He keeps threatening his daughters boyfriend, and can't understand why his daughter wants to leave home as soon as she turns 18. It's just embarrassing."
At least be a little interesting.
Studying Big Brain GIF
Giphy
“Their IQ when they clearly aren't intellectually interesting in any way.”
“Years ago someone at work commented that I thought I was 'so smart' when I fixed the printer. Thought it was just banter so I responded that my IQ was at least 90! The rest of my time there he commented to everyone about how I bragged about my IQ. Couldn't correct him without making him look bad. Just told people that he was just annoyed that the printer seemed to hate him so it seemed like an inside joke.”
This is just concerning.
“How much they can drink. Good for you, bro! Enjoy your 30 pack... Makes me sad.”
“I feel like that comes from playing drinking games when you're young and you first start drinking. If you're able to drink more and keep playing for longer you're seen as good/better compared to if you're completely wasted after 2-3 beers.”
People Who Made A Lot Of Money From Something Totally Random | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
How is this even possible?
“That they haven't read a book since high school. Or that they can barely read/do math.”
“I can't imagine stopping reading? It's so weird. Even like audio books or something. How do you manage to avoid books your whole life after high school.”
Bragging at work does nothing for your reputation. Trust me, your boss isn’t gonna give you that raise for bragging.
Why would any teacher want this?
Season 8 Teacher GIF by Friends
Giphy
“As a teacher, hearing other teachers brag about how hard it is to pass their class. Like, you're just bad at your job."
“Man, I make it hard to FAIL my class. Especially this past year and seeing how much nonsense my kids have to put up with at home, as long as they showed me they were actively trying, they passed.
Some still managed to fail, though.”
Overworking is not impressive.
“How many unused PTO hours they have.
Seriously. Overworking us not a good brag. And letting a company NOT have to pay you your guaranteed benefits... nope.”
“I mean, as long as they use them by the end of the year. Otherwise, it's just leaving money on the table and that's just idiotic.”
Stay away from dumpster fires.
“Getting in trouble. This chick at work would tell us tales of her weird roommate and the everyday dumb sh*t they got themselves into. She thought it was cool, everyone else thought their life was a dumpster fire."
“They are fun to encounter on the internet but once they appear in real life there is a huge chance you will get pulled into their bullsh*t misadventures of misery. I like reading random strangers messy stuff here on reddit but that as close as I would like to get, got enough messy MFers to deal with in my life already."
Sometimes you have to wonder why people thought these were valid things to brag about in the first place.
These people can be toxic af.
time tech GIF
Giphy
“I've realized that I just automatically stop listening to gamers who feel the need to brag about how much a** they kicked in multiplayer games.
Congratulations, you accomplished literally nothing of real value.
I'm more referring to gamers who insist on being toxic about it. It's one thing if someone wants to gush about their updated wardrobe, as I completely understand the feel-good sensation that comes from that, but I stop affording someone attention when they start going off.
Let THEM do the bragging.
“Anyone who won't shut up about stuff that their friends/relatives did. Excessive bragging is annoying enough on it's own, but it's extra annoying coming from someone who didn't even put in the work to achieve things in the first place.”
Enjoy your life a bit.
“How hard they work.
I work 2 jobs, I'm a hardworking person. You should be like me.
No, I want a job to support myself not to live my life just to work. Seen a tweet where it says something along the line of we work 60 years just to live and enjoy 12 years. By then our body would be half broken down and unable to participate in a lot of activities.”
Imagine if a woman did this?
“Body count. Once had a man tell me he slept with over 200 women. Don't know if people commonly brag about how many people they've slept with, but this guy seemed to think it would impress me. The only thing it did was raise a red flag parade, so I marched the hell away.”
My unsolicited advice is to not try to make yourself special or impressive, but focus on what makes you special on your own. You don’t need other peoples’ validation to make yourself feel good.
Then again, if you wanna brag about being a dumpster fire, that’s your prerogative.
Turns out, a lot of people feel similarly. Thanks, Reddit. Rainbow_crusader asked:
What is something that utterly disgusts you?
Clearly, I’m not alone with the food-related disgust.
Literally my least favorite thing in the world.
“Food that's in the sink when you clean/wash the dishes after eating.”
“I used to be a dishwasher in a few restaurants as a teenager. I don't care if I'm homeless I'm never doing that job again.. the worst was at the retirement home.”
Ew, people actually do this?
streaming tv show GIF by HULUGiphy“I used to work as a janitor and it gave me a new perspective on the public for sure.
People who leave pee or sh*t on the seat. Making it pretty much unusable for anyone sitting. Accidents happen, but you can at least wipe things down with toilet paper for most things. You're washing your hands after anyway, hopefully, so it's not gross to clean up your own mess.
In the past, I may have blamed these incidents on kids or someone disabled who couldn't help it, but seeing who comes in and out first hand I now know it's mostly able-bodied adults and even my own co-workers.
These are also the same people who put their boogers under tables and on walls and spit their gum in the urinals and water fountains knowing full well it's not going anywhere until I pick out.
And a habit that is a double whammy for me because I'm also getting into environmental protection: throwing cigarette butts absolutely anywhere except a bin or tray. And no, an empty plant pot someone placed by their door or a bowl left on the table is not an ashtray (good god the places I used to clean those things out of). Not only was your mouth all over it, but when it degrades (slowly) it contaminates the soil and nearby water sources with microplastics, carcinogens, and other chemicals that have proven to stunt the reproduction of plants, microbes, amphibians, and fish. Oh, and it causes fires on roadsides. Plus it just looks trashy and stinks!
This stuff disgusts me so much that I've ended relationships over it, I am just not compatible with anyone who has the mindset to leave their bodily fluids and trash on things other people use with no thought."
Be kind to your furbabies.
“For me I'm especially peeved by people putting their pets through needless stress or endangering them because something is "cute". Obese pets, pets displaying stress behaviours (lots of lizards do "cute" things if they're terrified), taking pets on car rides where they're loose in the vehicle just for the hell of it, letting inappropriate pets "play together" (like someone getting their snake and dog to stay on the couch together). It's horrible.
A girl in a group I'm in killed her pet snake recently because she dropped it in the car, it tried to hide & got crushed under a plastic panel.”
The worst kind of people.
“People who are nasty to service staff and retail workers. They make me feel sick.”
“I (18 F) work a retail job where lots of older people come in. Today alone:
A creepy old man called me sunshine. Another creepy old man called me sweetheart. Another one called me darling. A man tried to guide my movement past him by moving his hand towards the small of my back (I stepped aside so he didnt touch me). Too many men winked at me.
This is in an 8 hour shift. The worst one (besides the ballant sexual harassment) is "smile, pretty girls smile."
Hate my job, can’t wait to leave it.”
Speaking of gross people, here are a few that definitely won’t be getting good karma anytime soon.
Please don’t do this.
Lying Mohawk Girls GIF by CBCGiphy“Cheating on a spouse and home wreckers who go after married people almost exclusively.”
“Hate this too. Had someone text me asking for someone else and when I said wrong number she kept texting me if I wanna hook up even after I mentioned I was married. Had to block her because she kept texting and calling insisting my wife would never know. If we hooked up since she was from out of town. Supposedly the guy who gave her the number was from tinder.”
As a mentally ill person, this is disgusting.
“There's a current trend on TikTok where people are pretending to have mental health issues and various cognitive disabilities for internet clout.
Once such trend is to fake Dissociative Identity Disorder, and create a number of quirky alters with tropey backstories straight out of the worst young adult novels.
It's honestly disgusting that people are doing this and profiteering from it. Mental health has been romanticised far too much, and this takes it to a new level in which people actually feign it as some kind of sick role play fetish. It's f*cked up.”
They need to stop making these shows.
“Those addiction shows where they show drug addicted people injecting themselves with a needle. I always get the shivers even thinking about it. Even now.”
“Why aren't they helping them instead?”
If you’re the type of person who engages in these things, maybe consider stopping? Just a suggestion.
Too many kids.
Animated GIFGiphy“People that randomly father kids with no means of support or care about the child itself."
“And the most ignorant part is the fathers that get angry at the fact that they have so many kids. Like it's the kids fault that they are born and like it's the women's fault that they just keep getting pregnant as if he has no part in it. You think by the 5th kid he'd get the picture that sex = kid you have to spend money on."
Watch out for your surroundings.
“People with no common courtesy. Like people who walk extremely slow in large groups or can't take 2 seconds to hold the door open behind them. Makes me mad.”
“People at the grocery store who feel the need to check every line item of their 25-mile-long receipt whilst standing in the middle of the exit door so nobody else can get out.”
There IS no point to it.
“Racism, I honestly do not understand the point of it. What does anyone get out of it other than sadness and hatred for each other. I pity those who are set on the idea that they are better than one another in every way just because the other are of different colo(u)r.”
Humans can be pretty gross. The world can be pretty gross. But it’s up to us as individuals to take the steps needed to change and grow.
Let’s make the world a better place. Also, stop faking mental illnesses. That’s just weird.
Such as the fact that they don't believe in science or facts. Though they use science to get through their daily lives (internet, transportation, medication, etc.), somehow, part of the population is convinced that the virus is a conspiracy created just to inconvenience them.
We're all familiar with such folks. That's why Redditor u/yenake asked, "What is the dumbest Coronavirus theory you heard from someone?"
20. Follow the money...
That it was invented by anyone. You're a ****ng idiot if you're suggesting people are out here bioengineering diseases in secret and also not selling a cure that works.
I never heard the melanin theory....
I just remember early on when cases were still low there were black people who truly believed they couldn't get it because they have more melanin in their skin...and now the black community unfortunately has some of the most cases so look how that turned out
Reversable masks!
That wearing the mask blue side out protects others, while wearing the white side out protects yourself.
The one thing leaders will cooperate on
That viruses in general don't exist and that Corona was invented to take away fundamental rights in my country. Sure, the countries in the world can never agree on anything, but suddenly they can all work together and fake a global pandemic to take away rights from people in one country.
Viruses aren't homophobic
Hey, remember that priest that said Coronavirus is God's punishment for the gays. And then he caught it.
If he truly believes what he said, the only logical conclusion must be that he's gay.
Everyone needs to wear a mask
That it's a conspiracy to kill off black people by restricting our breathing with the masks, and that all white people are in on it.
Still waiting on that Rapture
In my moms words "Coronavirus was created by the shadow elite and as agents of the devil And bIg pharma they're going to make billions of dollars off the vaccine and the vaccine, which is synonymous with the mark of the beast, will contain bio chips,poison, and gene altering compounds that will fill our bodies with cancer all while making us their slaves and we will suffer for the remainder of our time on earth until the rapture begins and we are sentenced to hell on earth."
Stay away from my knee fluid
That doctors made up Covid-19 so they could steal synovial fluid off people and sell it in the black market. Just a drop of this fluid is worth billions, and all medical staff are out to lie to you ate steal your knee synovial fluid.
The aliens did it
party dancing GIFGiphyMy cousin said that the reason the virus started was due to the space defense system failing to stop an alien from reaching Earth.
Some presidential advice
You should inject yourself with cleaning supplies to ward away covid.
Thanks Donald, that's really helpful. What should if there's a fire? Open all the windows and doors, and wait inside for help?
The world doesn't revolve around you
That it doesn't exist because "I don't know anyone who has it"
I had a few customers say something similar. "I've never met someone that had it." You can imagine their surprise when I said "well, now you have." The responses were everything from incredibly dismissive to revulsion to genuine fear.
Phones aren't even that reliable
Wire inside masks (the one that on certain masks you have to push down to make tighter over your nose) is connected to 5G towers and is making the coronavirus worse. Coworker was dead serious, too.
That's incredible tech if you can get reliable connections from stuff in a 5-pack at the dollar store. Wish Sprint was that reliable.
Spoiler - there's no chip
One of my cousins told me that 5G chips are directly inserted in the masks offered by institutions and you get directly infected by wearing the masks.
I asked him to prove it to me by showing me a 5G chip in one of the masks.
They were a no show
In March my country's health minister basically said that Corona will all blow over by April. When asked what will be different in April, he responded something to the effect of "The messiah will come in April".
Spoiler alert: no messiah. (I could be somewhat foggy on the details.)
Where'd they get that idea?
Coronavirus can spread through in-game voicechat
Had a friend hang up on me when I told her I tested positve
I'll take my chances
some people seriously believe that corona virus can be cured by drinking cow urine
I'd rather take my chances with the virus.
How to lose a crush immediately
A guy I knew and liked told me to my face that 5G towers were giving people Covid. Nothing I said would shift him In that belief. In the end I just told him that was what Flatards would say and he took massive offence. Haven't seen him since
The source does not exist
That 'COVID-19' stands for 'China Originating Viral Infectious Disease - (batch) 19.' WHO confirmed it and everything apparently. No sources available when I asked for them.
Drink your beers in peace
You can get corona from the beer corona people actually believed and tried to ban the beer
If the Corona beer company went out of business because of human stupidity I would literally design a rocket and **** off into space somewhere else.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
The Chanel Bandit.
GiphyThis is about 15 years ago but the office I worked in instituted a scent free policy. One woman, who was already insufferable, was so offended by it that she snuck in her perfume collection.
She'd walk down the halls and spray perfume into empty offices or cubicles when no one was looking or before everyone arrived in the morning.
This went on for well over a month or two and we had no idea who was responsible. My coworkers and I started referring to this mysterious person as the Chanel Bandit.
She was finally caught on camera in the act. She'd left for three weeks vacation and was unaware that we had installed cameras after a break in. Some of us already suspected her, as the Chanel Bandit mysteriously stopped spraying while she was away.
She quit right after she was caught. None of us were sad to see that cedar scented psycho leave. stoic_minotaur
Daycare.
I worked in childcare, and they had hired a new assistant/trainee teacher for my room (each room has 2 teachers). She just constantly argued about the dumbest crap, and always tried to argue with me about both company and state childcare policies because "that's dumb." Also was late every day her first week there. It all just started adding up until I was changing diapers and she was holding a 2 yr old child on her lap.
I see a child biting another child and say "you need to go help them" as I have a child in the middle of a very explosive poopy diaper change up on the changing table and can't leave him there obviously. She doesn't get up. I repeat it, and she says "Well I have this kid on my lap" so I say "take him off your lap". She responds "he's strong" like this grown adult is unable to move a 2 year old off her lap because of some weird super strength. Then the child bites the other child again and at that point I'm mad and tell her to get up and help them now.
She then proceeds to say "So what, I have to watch these 4 kids while you just have ONE up on the table?!" like I'm somehow supposed to have multiple children on the table at once to make her job of sitting on the floor making sure kids don't get bit twice in a row easier, and our ratios were 4:1 anyways. I finished my diaper change, stuck my head out the door to my supervisor and told her "get this lady out of my room" and they did after and wrote her up after reviewing the footage of the incident. She was fired for no call no showing the next week. I've worked with a lot of idiots in childcare but she was so crappy in such a short amount of time. ameliadenice
Never Friends.
I have a coworker who's very old-fashioned and strongly believes that males and females cannot be friends. Well, it just so happens that my manager and I, a male and a female, happen to get along quite well because of our similar ages and interests. She reported me to the other managers for it and accused me of sleeping with him. rosatenena
3 Down for Daniel!
GiphyThis guy named Daniel I used to work with at McDonald's in high school. He let everyone know he worked out and enjoyed being on the football team. He had this thing about taking 5 poops a day. He would walk by on his way back from the toilet, chest out, shoulders back and triumphantly announce "that's poop number 3!"... damn Daniel. KillerKackwurst4
Memory Jog.
I had a packager operator I worked with on the machine I run. He did okay but every Monday I would have to basically retrain him on the packager controls. I guess he had an excuse though because he had a TBI from a motorcycle wreck years before. Once I jogged his memory he did good for the rest of the week. weedful_things
Gross.
I had a guy at work make a bunch of gross comments in a full break room. My husband was sitting in the break room waiting for me. Heard all of it, i walked right into HR and listed the 30 some people in this normally really quiet lunch room. That dude was so gross. Kantotheotter
"Top right corner, click on the straight line."
I worked with a guy who couldn't learn new skills. When he started he had to learn new programs and processes, just like anyone would at almost any job. He couldn't pick up on it, whether it was where to click in a software to get a certain result or how to fill out a report.
Everyone on my team took turns showing him the ropes and it never sunk in. I remember being so frustrated because he could not figure out how to minimize a window.
"Top right corner, click on the straight line." It took like 3-4 seconds for him to drag the mouse to the corner and then he'd hover around it but never on it.
Super nice guy, but impossible to work and collaborate with on projects because so much time was wasted. elevenghosts
Retail Laaaaaaazzzzzy.....
GiphyI worked with someone in retail. He was my boss, and not a particularly bad guy, but he was a control freak who had to interject his opinion during every conversation anyone was having with a customer.
This also went as far as him being in the middle of helping someone himself, stopping helping that customer to lean over to my till to "help" me with my transaction even though there was no indication I needed help and had worked there for over 5 years.
This "help" would be in the form of him telling me what button to hit next on the till to telling a customer they were wrong to have any given opinion on a topic to telling customers that their choice of entertainment they were purchasing wasn't what they were after, even if they specifically came into the store for that specific item.
He was also laaaaazzzzy as hell! Not a bad guy, but holy hell do I not miss working with him. Mendunbar
Don't be like Dan.
GiphyHis name was Dan. Dan was 37 working at a dead end job as a lab specimen processor in a windowless room for 9 hours a day. He ate only Burger King, but without the lettuce because that's "rabbit food." He drank literally a gallon of Mountain Dew a day, and was confused as to why people were horrified by that. "There's water in it" he would say. Apparently if he ate corn he would vomit and have to go to the hospital.
He would tell me he firmly believed that man and dinosaur roamed the earth at the same time, along with many other "theories" that came from his "gut." One day we got into a political argument before the 2016 election where he said "if Bernie Sanders is elected president, there will be a civil war, and I will not hesitate to kill you and your family." Dan was fired. I got out of there as soon as I could. Don't be like Dan. RedTiger013
"too nice."
My old supervisor. She was that special brand of "too nice." Laughing was her nervous tic and hoo boy it was CONSTANT. She was incapable of being assertive which is not the best quality for someone whose job is telling other people what to do. The best she could do was be passive-aggressively nice when she REALLY needed something done which just made everyone dislike her. ApocalypseWednesday
Don't talk to me....
GiphyMy coworker likes to initiate conversations, then does long pauses where you go to say something back, then he cuts you off and keeps talking. He has entire conversations almost entirely by himself. He also likes to make changes to my paperwork before its turned in.... ends up riddled with spelling mistakes while he tries to make the content look smarter. Fortunately its all electronically stamped with who made revisions. inu_yasha
About the Boy....
Worked with a girl who would sometimes just lay in the floor and play on her phone. She would routinely flip out about something her boy friend did and just start screaming curse words, sometimes in front of customers. She was eventually fired for smoking weed while on the clock. AtlantaFieldClowns
Trash.
I had a manager once who dumped trash on my desk my third day there. She said it was to remind me that taking out the trash was part of my job description (it wasn't, I was a research assistant at a mortgage firm). itkat16
Stop Thinking.
Not necessarily a "co-worker" but my old supervisor literally told me not to think, even if it's wrong that I do things her way, and not to ask questions because I should already know what to do. I had just gotten the position. mutantandproud95
SMH....
GiphyFast food. Third shift. The only other employee stayed in the bathroom doing blow. MollyXDanger502
The Arrogant.
When I was an intern, there was this old shrew who would call people into her office (my cube shared a thin wall), gossip, then call those people in to tell them what was said, etc.
She would try to frame people for sh!t she did wrong. She was so arrogant. And she refused to adapt to workforce modernization. Example: she refused to learn how to hyperlink in emails, documents, etc. A real ray of sunshine she was! mandz_camz24
most crazy is a lady.....
I have several bad ones but the one that drives me the most crazy is a lady who creates problems just so she can solve them. Ugh. She takes a simple job, finds the one tiny issue, blows that up and freaks everyone out and then "solves" it so she can be the hero. Just take the 1 minute to fix the issue in the first place. It would save the literal hours she spends working everyone up so she can be their savior. SylkoZakurra
Being at Walmart.
GiphyMy worst co-worker was one I worked with when I was a cashier at Walmart. She approached me and asked me to cash out her paycheck. I was still new at the job and never got training on how to do that function. She was sympathetic, so she walked me through how to do it. Transaction over and done, I go on about my day.
I get called back a couple of days later by my managers and they circled me in an office and accused me of stealing. After tears, video tapes, and telling them what happened they told me that apparently this coworker of mine had stolen not only from me, but several other people that day as well. They just wanted to confirm I wasn't in on the deal.
Forget Walmart, and forget that woman for almost getting me arrested. jellojock
I fired him that day.
Hired a cook on a good recommendation. He was just fine the first two weeks. Then I noticed food going missing. Then supplies started going missing. Then a customer told me that he had been adding auto 30% tips his food purchases. When I looked at the books, I saw that he had been adding 30% tips to ALL the credit card sales.
And the cash rings were off from what should have been sold. I fired him that day.
The next day he came in and apologized. Said he was on drugs and was going to rehab. I wished him well. Then next day he tried to break in after close and was caught. Idiot. Sirnando138
LAWYER PLEASE!!!
GiphyThe HR manager at my last job had zero training, education or experience in HR. She was argumentative, passive aggressive and incompetent. Toward the end she asked me "Why are you being resistant?" and "You're not being a team player." when I was advocating for client safety. I was the second person in less than a year to leave and hire an attorney. miken322
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.