It's not easy opening up to a therapist, and chemistry is important. Some patients have seriously bad luck, with therapists either not helping or making matters worse - like telling someone who was suicidal that they were simply hungry. WTF?
nick256 asked, [Serious]Did You Ever Regret Talking To A Therapist/Psychiatrist? Why?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
"Thinking happy thoughts" does not help with depression or anxiety.
GiphyYeah, when I was in my late teens this therapist suggested I should only think happy thoughts, that the abuse I received was my own fault for not standing up for myself, and when all of that didn't work she prescribed a high dose of Xanax for me. Literally said she would be beating the s*** out of her own daughter if she found out she was cutting herself like me (back then). I thought this was the norm and she was right, a better therapist later on told me that she was messed up and demanded the company she was with to make sure she wouldn't ever have another client again. Apparently she got many, many complaints as she did this to many of her clients.
This is bad advice.
GiphyHad a therapist who recommended me to go visit my dad whose girlfriend had a month prior tried to strangle me to death, and had abused me for well over a year. I was five at that time.
Props for trying.
GiphyI've been seeing a therapist for a year and it's been great. Some sessions are better than others, but it's helped me considerably with my issues of anxiety and depression.
However, she suggested than I try one of the group classes, and I was hesitant. But I figured that the worst that could happen was a bad experience, and signed up for one.
It went fine until the doctor/teacher asked to share what was bothering us. I was not at all prepared for this. It takes a long time for me to open up to someone other than a doctor about this stuff, I was not remotely okay with sharing this information with total strangers. I basically had an anxiety attack while waiting for my turn, and did my best to hide it when I was asked to speak, but I wasn't able to form coherent sentences. The doctor reminded me to try some of the basic anxiety coping mechanisms and I basically clammed up after that. I spent the rest of the class trying to not dwell on the fact that I had a anxiety attack right in front of people.
I felt worse after that than I did before I stared seeking help. It only really took me a week or so to feel normal again, but there is no way that I'll ever do any kind of group therapy again.
Malpractice 101. Crohn's can cause depression, however.
At around age 12 I started getting terrible, burning stomach aches. All I could do was lay in my bed, waiting for it to go away. Went to my doctor and he "diagnosed" me with lactose-intolerance (I did drink a lot of milk) and depression/anxiety. Made me go to a therapist but I just knew that wasn't the issue. Mentally I was fine, still am. Kept going to these over and over again, learning nothing, while my health state got worse and worse. My body turned to bones, my skin was as pale as a ghost. But no, I was "just sad." (Don't worry, I know depression is more than just being sad.) It almost got to a point where they just about convinced me they were right, and it was just a mental thing. Finally went to a professional and was immediately diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Within a month after receiving treatment, my skin color came back, and I gained around 10-15 pounds after being deathly below what I should have been. It wasn't totally the therapist's fault, but it still made a little upset that I was always just told I was wrong.
"Religious therapist" should be considered an oxymoron.
GiphyI did! I found it really difficult to talk about things and it was emotionally draining.
I'm a reserved kind of guy, and I don't talk about that kind of thing, so opening up was unnatural and too much to deal with for me.
I also saw a Christian therapist, which in hindsight maybe wasn't the best idea for someone questioning their sexuality.
That's not how it works.
GiphyThere was a time when I felt down a lot, so I figured seeing a therapist might be a smart move. She told me emotions are a triangle of happy, sad, and angry if I recall correctly.
"whenever you feel sad or angry, just think about things that make you happy"
That's it, that's all there is to it apparently.
Thanks doc.
Just pray! Pray it all away!
GiphyYes. Husband and I went to marriage counseling after a large marriage altering event. He chose a Christian counselor. I had misgivings, but went anyway.
Chick basically spent every session telling us to read some workbook she was selling (not even one she had written), and then ended in prayer. Yea, not helpful at all. We ended up only going a handful of times and working things out on our own instead.
Well, here we have an ethics violation.
GiphyYes.
So my ex-school has this system where a psychologist will come in and talk to kids that the school thinks needs some therapy. The school pays for the psychologist to assess the student and if the psychologist thinks that the student needs some extra therapy, the school will then allow for extra sessions. I suffer from a lot depression and PTSD but I have a psychiatrist outside of school that helps me so much, but regardless of my improving mental state, the school wants me to see that psychologist that they have just in case.
So I went in there, explained that I am doing really well and that I just want to spend some of my free time I have for myself but the school psychologist didn't want to hear that and continues to question me on and on about stuff and so I eventually told her that yes I do have recurring nightmares of my mother who was abusive sometimes and that affects my sleep a bit, it's no big deal, it doesn't affect my mood or my overall performance at school but the psychologist wanting the money, goes to the school and tells them "She has reoccurring nightmares of her mother and I think she needs some extra therapy," basically exploiting that ONE THING I SAID SO THAT SHE CAN GET MORE MONEY.
I found the sessions really unhelpful and it sometimes even cause me panic attacks afterwards because that of a psychologist digs up well buried memories that I have long forgotten back to the surface and pretty much undoing all the ACTUALLY USEFUL THERAPY WORK THAT MY PSYCHIATRIST OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL DID. I got so fed up at one of the sessions that I walked out and my father made a formal complaint to the school board saying that they are forcing me to do unnecessary treatment despite several different requests cancelling therapy sessions.
Takes a lot to be this hangry.
GiphyI was suicidal and the therapist told me I was probably just hungry.
Awkward. And seriously unprofessional.
GiphyYeah. Wife and I went to a marriage counselor. He tried to rub one off when we were talking about our sex life.
On whose side was this therapist?
GiphyYes, very much so. I struggled a lot as a teen with bullying at school and what amounted to what I now recognize as emotional abuse at home. I was very depressed and anxious. I started having thoughts of suicide at age 13. I eventually convinced my parents to let me see a psychiatrist, though they didn't really think there was a problem. I was a HS freshman at the time, so 15-16.
I liked the doctor a lot at first. He was friendly, he really listened to me talk about my issues, and he was the only sympathetic adult in my life at that point - I thought. After a while, he told me the way I was being treated at home was very wrong, and he wanted me to bring my dad in to a session so we could all talk about it together. He felt that if he were mediating the conversation, my dad might actually take my feelings seriously. I thought, "Wow, this is great, I will finally be heard!"
The next time I came in, I brought my dad, but the doc did a complete 180, talking about me with my dad as if I weren't even there. He told him he was doing a good job as a parent, but I was just a bad and rebellious kid who did everything for attention. The best thing to do, he said, was ignore my attention-seeking behaviors and not validate them in any way. He said he didn't believe I was really depressed at all and was faking to get drugs.
A friend had died in a car accident just a few days before, so I was already in an emotionally vulnerable place. Whenever I tried to speak, they'd just talk over me, like I was just some thing, not a person with feelings. I started to cry, so the doctor pointed at me and said, pretty triumphantly, "See! She's crying now because she knows I'm right. I can't be right because I'm old, isn't that right, downhereforyoursoul? You can't stand for an adult to be right!"
I tuned out whatever was being said after that, just quietly cried while they continued discussing me and my issues with authority or whatever. Home life worsened after that because now there was even less of a chance for me to ever be listened to or taken seriously. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol. It was many years before I felt comfortable seeking help again.
That ahole is probably retired or dead by now, but f*ck him. I'm still salty about it.
This is profoundly unhelpful.
GiphyYes, she repeated what I have to do is change my personality. Feeling depressed and anxious is about my personality... Interesting.
Isn't it the therapist's job to recognize signs of abuse?
GiphyYep! My therapist, who is been seeing for a year prior for other reasons, had incredibly unreasonable expectations for a new relationship of mine. Talking about "true love" and how "some people just get so lucky finding 'their person' so young". I remember having misgivings at the time, but continued seeing her. Started having relationship problems so brought him with me to the therapist. Therapist started getting erratic and giving contradictory advice in the same session. Ended up having to dump the therapist before dumping the SO.
Ironically, this therapist is supposedly the best in my area for post-abuse counseling.
When your therapist violates confidentiality...
GiphyYep. As a teen I had a few sessions with a psychologist. I wanted to go in order to talk about some historical trauma but my father was paying for the sessions because he wanted me to figure out how to better adapt to life with his new batshit crazy wife. After a few sessions, I found out that the psychologist was having regular discussions over the phone with my father and disclosing what I was saying during our sessions. I promptly freaked out and then refused to seek psychological help (which I really needed) for close to a decade.
Don't treat patients like customers.
GiphyShe treated me like a product and did her job like it from a checklist. I wasn't in a good mental state at the time and she pushed too many of my buttons. The most notable thing I said to her was "stop regurgitating the same bile you find off of the internet and do your f*cking job."
"What's the most mysterious thing happened in your life that you can't find any explanation for?"
Mom Acting Weird
"My mum is a type 1 diabetic, has been since she was 11 years of age."
"When me and my little brother were very young, I was about 7 and he was 5 , I came into my mum's room to find she was acting extremely strange."
"She looked almost drunk, and wasn’t really responsive."
"I went to pick up her insulin needles to see if she would react to that and she didn’t."
"So I panicked and phoned my Nan who told me to put the phone down and dial 999."
"For some reason I was so frightened and confused I didn’t, and sent my little brother outside to get help while I tried to get my mum to respond to me."
"My brother came back in crying saying he couldn’t find anyone and then about five minuets later this woman just walked into my mum's bedroom, called me by my name, and my brothers, said she knew my mum and help is coming, she was calm, soft-spoken and had a warm feeling about her."
"I didn’t recognize this woman and neither did my brother."
"Shortly after the ambulance arrived and got my mum's sugar levels back up."
"And when I went to find the woman, she was gone."
"Like literally gone."
"When my mum came round I explained to her about this mysterious woman and what she looked like."
"And my mum had absolutely no idea who she was, and we never saw her again."
"If she didn’t help us my mum would have died eventually."
"Still gives me shivers now."- leeshouse90
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire Neon Rated GIF by NEONGiphyPsychic, or lucky?
"When I was around 18 a friend and I were traveling in Europe."
"We were walking along a pleasant, quiet street in Rome one day and saw an elderly homeless man sitting on the street."
"He said to us if he could guess our date of birth could we give him some money?"
"Of course we said ok."
"He did it! "
"He told us both our correct dates of birth!"
"Never met him before and never saw him again."- robertodurian
Some Unfinished Work, Maybe?
"I was at my mother in law's flat in Hungary."
"Fyi I don't speak Hungarian, so I couldn't be aware of any of this."
"I tend to go to bed later that my wife, and for the first couple of nights, I had trouble falling asleep because around midnight I could hear the neighbor upstairs."
"It's an old block of flats made under the communist era, walls are incredibly thin."
"Walk in high heels, which was very annoying."
"I could also hear little objects fall on the floor, and I told my wife it sounded like the plastic buttons you have on some clothes."
"She looked at me funny and told me her niece hated to sleep in that room because she was scared by the noises coming from upstairs."
"I said that was a bit exaggerated, and I thought it was until my wife told me the flat upstairs had been empty for the past at least 4 years."
"Neighbor died years before that, and guess what?"
"She was a tailor, always nicely dressed and wearing high heels."- mimzou
High Heels Shoes GIF by Real Housewives Of CheshireGiphyGone Without A Trace
"When I was a kid, I participated in Big Brothers Big Sisters, which if you don't know what that is it's pretty much just a mentorship program in the US."
"I basically just hung out with this dude Chris for a couple hours a week."
"We'd go to the movies, out to eat, he'd help me with my homework, that kinda thing."
"One day, he tells me that he's going to Baltimore for a couple weeks and when I should expect him back."
"The day rolls around and I give him a call to see if he's back yet."
"A man whose voice I didn't recognize answered and I asked if Chris was there."
"He said no."
"I asked him when Chris would be back just kinda thinking it was someone staying at his house or watching his dogs or something."
"But he said that I had the wrong number, that he and his wife had lived there for years, and there was never a Chris there."
"I double checked in the phonebook to see if it was the right number which it was because I had it circled."
"I was confused so I just said sorry and hung up, and I never heard from Chris ever again."- theautomemoriesdoll
A Clever Distraction?
"When I was 10 or so I was staying at my grandma's over the summer break and we were having breakfast."
"We barely started eating when the phone rang."
"She left the dining room and I followed her thinking that maybe they were my parents calling."
"When we returned most of the food was gone."
"She asked me if I ate while she was on the phone and I said 'no'."
"There was no one else home and there were no pets."
"My grandma just shook it off saying we might have eaten more than she remembered but I am absolutely positive that I had at most two bites of my toast by the time the phone rang."- queenliz2fr
Hungry Good Morning GIF by HBO MaxGiphyMystery Benefactor
"Every month around the 5th I get a letter with exactly 23 dollars."
"No note, no return address."
"I’ve asked family, relatives, friends, the two past occupants of this apartment."
"Nobody knows anything about it."
"It is not addressed to me, but to my unique postal address."
"The total is now exactly 1886, I have just stashed it all in a box."
"I do not want to spend it in case it is cursed."- Puzzleheaded_Ad928
A Comforting Sign
"My grandmother always loved roses and had them growing in her back yard."
"She died in a December and when we were gathered at her house for the funeral my father happened to look out the back window and saw a bright red rose had blossomed."
"It stood out brightly against the snow."
"He brought it in and put it in a vase on the kitchen table."
"We all left for the funeral and when we came back the rose was on the living room floor."
"No one had been in the house while we were gone."
"My father is the most hard-headed person alive but he was convinced it was his mothers way of telling him she was all right."- regular6drunk7
Mystery Portal?
"We have a built in wardrobe in our bedroom."
"About a month ago our cat had managed to get herself inside and I must have closed the door."
"I heard her meowing and I opened the door and she jumped out and walked off."
"Silly cat."
"I closed the wardrobe door."
"Less than five minutes later I hear a meow in the wardrobe, I open the door and to my surprise, our cat jumps out again and walks off."
"My partner and I were both stunned as there is no way into the wardrobe with the doors closed."
"Neither of us have any idea how this happened."- TorthOrc
Cat Jumping GIFGiphyLost Time
"I had just picked up a coworker from her house heading to work.'
"We are just talking and chatting, "how'd your weekend go" type of stuff."
"We are maybe 5 miles away from her house, when all of a sudden, we realize we are in town pulling into works parking lot."
"We both kinda look at each other not sure what happened."
"We had gone near 20 miles in a blink of an eye."
"And what cemented this experience as something that I actually happened, and not just simply losing track of time, IS THE TIME!"
"It should have taken us almost half an hour to get to work."
"Instead the time from when I picked her up was 2:30."
"And the time when we got to the building was 2:40."
"There is no way in HELL!"
"We couldn't have gotten there that fast."
"From that point on we both called that experience the time when we Jumped, like from the movie Jumper."
"I have no explanation why."
"I'll also state, I don't believe in the paranormal or supernatural."
"So this experience is one of those things that makes me question my own sanity."- belac4862
car dark GIFGiphyThere must be an explanation for these circumstances...
Even if it's not an explanation that will make any sense, otherworldly or not.
What is a great example of 'f*ck around and find out'"?
Never Be Afraid To Seek Help
"Hey remember how they said drugs can ruin your f*cking life?"
"Turns out that was true."- WowAPenguin
They Put Up Those Walls For A Reason
"People who die after going over the safety fence at zoo, or basically any safety fence."- Solid_Refrigerator16
They Can't Say They Weren't Warned...
"Those who go deep cave diving and ignore the warning signs."- somekindofmiracle
cave GIFGiphyNever Stand Behind Them...
"Jacka**es who come to the stables I ride at and act weird around horses."
"Those animals play no games."- clem82
Is It Really Worth It?
"Running of the Bulls in Spain."
"The videos each year of the people getting completely annihilated by the bulls is a great example."- getagrooving
Never Get Too Big For Your Britches...
"When I was young I boxed and eventually got into golden gloves."
"I got a few wins under my belt and said I wanted to fight someone legit, someone who would be a real challenge."
"An opportunity came up to fight someone very good, a guy who'd eventually win regional and state and later go pro."
"At this point I'd not lost or even been knocked down, so my confidence was high, that is until he knocked me the hell out very early in the fight and taught me that there are BIG differences in the different talent levels of fighting."-Reddit
episode 2 boxing GIF by Archie ComicsGiphySharks might be the least of your problems...
"Go swimming outside the flags in Australia."- d*ckflip1980
Clown Behavior
"When people were dressing up like clowns to scare people."
"It kinda stopped after one got shot."- BigMaraJeff2
Or With Anything Dangerous...
"Playing with electricity."- tlmega124
Jack Nicholson Hair GIF by MOODMANGiphyThey Won't Harm You If You Won't Harm Them...
"People that approach wildlife in state parks."- Rider-of-Rohaan42
Best To Keep Hands And Feet Out Of Moving Vehicles...
"Your boss at the warehouse is constantly telling you to keep your feet within the confines of your vehicle, and not to hang them, and to stay clear when walking, because if you don't, a 6,000 pound+ vehicle impacting a fixed surface will turn your foot into spaghetti sauce."
"Do not f*ck around, ever, with industrial vehicles."
"Follow all guidelines, always."
"A powered ride-on pallet jack weighs as much as 2-3 small cars, when fully loaded."
"It will absolutely ruin you if you don't operate safely."- SpaceCorpse
Still Probably Best Not To Do It At All!
"My uncle was a high-profile defense attorney specializing in folks who were arrested for drug trafficking."
"The greatest advice he ever gave to me was, if you want to smuggle ANYTHING, you can do it one time."
"Just once."
"After that, you will be caught and you will be f*cked."- redoctober2021
Confusing On So Many Levels...
"Trying to armed rob a gun store."- VagabondTexan
You'd Think People Would Have Learned By Now...
"Taking Julius Caesar hostage."- EgoSenatus
caesar GIFGiphyNo One Is Invincible...
"Ye saying he can’t be dropped by Adidas, then immediately getting dropped by Adidas."- Admin_Untold
It's one thing to make a mistake after being a bit too hasty, and not giving something enough thought.
But if you end up in the ER after being urged not to do something, and well aware of what might happen, don't expect too many flowers...