It's hard to classify what exactly a "d*ck move" is. Really, it could be anything. The only consistency between all recorded d*ck moves in history is the way you feel after it's been done. There's a sense of revolting anger, something that seethes in your gut, and makes you want to say, "Not cool bro."
Fortunately, we can count on the internet to help come to a uniform decision.
Reddit user, u/Apple-Acid, wanted people to dictate what counts as a d*ck move when they asked:
What is something we can all agree on being a "d*ck move" ?
Decide: Free or Deadline?
Not paying someone back or being being difficult when you owe money to someone.
Don't ever give out personal loans. Give out one-time gifts without expectation of repayment. If they pay you back, then you might gift again in the future. Otherwise, it's a one-time thing.
Just Let Them Off. Be Polite.
GiphyGetting on the train before letting other passengers get off the train first.
Same for the elevator. I was going down the elevator once. This one isn't too busy, but occasionally there will be someone waiting to get on when I get off or vice versa, but it's like 1/20 uses. Anyway, I'm going down and the doors open and this older, maybe 60's or 70's-aged lady literally has her face at the door, waiting to get on. Startled me a bit, TBH, because she was like right square in the doorway. She moved off to the side a bit to let me off.
Your Time Is Not More Valuable Than Anyone Else's
Cutting in line when there's no emergency
Although I don't call people out on it, I'm always glad when there is someone else in line who isn't as timid and does so.
Like, Really? You KNOW That's Not Yours.
Taking someone else's lunch from the breakroom fridge.
Had a guy I worked with who was notorious for this. One day he sees me in the break room and goes "I didn't know that was yours, I took a drink from that."
I figured I'd teach him a lesson, so I said "you know I have herpes, right?" He got all bug-eyed and freaked out. Then I thought, I don't want him spreading rumors about me, so I said "I don't. But if I did, you'd be screwed. That's why you don't do that."
If There's No Room, Make Room
Taking up multiple seats on public transit when you can easily sit in one.
(Caveat, it's fine if it's mostly empty.)
This is the worst. Especially if it's someone who put their bag on the seat next to them. I get it, you want your personal space, but we're all in this sardine can together, so we might as well compromise.
You Can't Have Selective Eyesight
Beating another driver to a parking space, even though they were there first (with blinkers on) about to take it.
Like in the movie Fried Green Tomatoes:
"Face it, lady, we're younger and faster."
rams car
"Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."
A few friends and I were eating. Bill came to the table, we all laid out our tip money, and my friends boyfriend started pulling money out of the tip for his meal....The look on my friends faces...
I hope you stopped him.
You misspelled slapped
You misspelled [assassinate].
Whoa...D-Move, Bro.
Standing up to get your bags and crowd the gate door because youre Mr. Bigshot just after flight attendants told everyone to stay seated so medical personnel could evac the guy at the back of the plane who just had a heart attack in front of his kids.
Haven't We Grown Beyond This As A Species?
GiphyThrowing your trash on the floor.
Especially when there's a trash can right over there
It's The Awkwardness That Keeps Money In Your Wallet
Ordering expensive food and/or drinks while out with friends and that guy says at the end "let's split it all evenly"
My wife has a lot of pretty wealthy friends, and we'll go out to group birthday dinners with them sometimes. This is especially a problem if we do tapas because there are a few guys that will just order a sh-t ton of food and expensive plates, expensive wine, and then expect to just split it evenly with everyone. My wife just tells them f-ck that and pays for what we ate. It's awkward.
Redditor Tight_Anywhere6794 wanted to hear about the things parents have said in the past that haunts everyone still, so they asked:
"What insult have your parents said, that is stuck in your head as an adult?"
I've been blessed with the mother I had.
So I can't speak from experience.
But I've heard parenting horror stories.
Bad Expressions
Sad Kid GIF by 1tvGiphy“'You’re so annoying.' Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything."
foppishyyy
Mean Spirited
"What did I do to deserve a fat kid?"
Silosolo
"My parents also mocked me for being fat, and outright physically abused me as in forcefully grabbed my fat child manboobs or slapped me while calling me fat-related names."
"A lot of people at school did it too, so obviously I have a lot of self-image issues like I never let anyone see me without clothes these days. The worst part is that I legitimately internalized a lot of hate, I could never care for myself enough to actually get fit."
FoeWithBenefits
What's My Name?
"My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me."
Discarded_Pariah
"That's awful. You are your own person. You aren't your father."
blksmnr
Unfunny
"'You can't even laugh right.'"
"My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong. Told her I'm engaged and hoped she could at least be happy I'm happy and she ghosted everyone to the point the family thought died. She's a mess."
BlindEditor
"I'll never understand parents that are so hard on their own children that they can't even be happy for them. So their sole function is to bring misery to their offspring?"
macabre_irony
Evil
Oh My God Wow GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy"My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbor. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years."
Ilookbetterthanyou
Good Lord. How do people like this exist?
Tragic.
HIM
"She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner. The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day."
rot_grl
10 Years Old
"When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said 'If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat.'"
"Never forgot it. Talked to her about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from 'That never happened' to 'Oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever' and finally 'Yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that.'"
"Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was '[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.' I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung."
SpiderP*bes
Failures
“'You’re the biggest mistake I ever made.' - my mother when I was 5. I’m 32 now and it’s been the undercurrent for our relationship ever since, constantly wondering if anything I’ve achieved or struggled for is something she’s genuinely proud of or just relieved to say I wasn’t a total failure on her part."
thefaehost
Generational Issues
"Not a parent but a grandparent, I was adopted when I was 12 years old (my parents were both drug addicts so I was in and out of foster care most of my life) my adopted mother's father turned to me on Christmas Eve when no one else was around and said 'My daughter should have never adopted you, she should have let you stay on the streets where you belong'… he got nicer as he got older and sicker but I couldn’t find it in myself to forget what he said even almost 10 years later. Went to the funeral for moral support but was indifferent about his passing."
samweather227
Just Me
Sad Kids GIF by Cian DucrotGiphy"I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was 'If you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror.'"
Responsible_Fly_3565
Some people should never have children.
Awful.
"What is something you no longer have patience for?"
Off The Clock Means OFF THE CLOCK!
"Working outside of work hours."
"I used to go above and beyond, now I only put in what is required."
"Life is too short to live only to work."- Chesterfieldcat
"The working world."
"My life doesn’t revolve around working here and it never will."
"It will never be a part of my identity."
"I come in, do the job, make money, go home."
"Don’t expect me to come to all the work happy hours so I can pretend how much I love working here."- nuclearsalt
Some Things Just Don't Get A Free Pass
"Sh*tty people getting a pass 'because they're family'."- cgulash
angry homer simpson GIFGiphySay What You Mean, Not What You Feel
"Having to guess what people REALLY mean by something they said."
"I take everything people say at face value now and don't replay conversations in my head to find out the real meaning anymore."
"Be passive-aggressive if you want to but talk to me like an adult if you really have a problem."- WateredDownSalt
EYES ON THE ROAD!
"People who text and drive."
"You're driving a giant piece of metal propelled by explosive liquid."
"Pay attention."- MasterfulNothasie
The Only Life That Should Concern You Is Your Own
"People and groups of people that only talk about other people."- Turf98
"People who can’t mind their fucking business and are always worried about what other people are doing."
"If it doesn’t effect you, f*ck off."
"It’s literally free."- wackwackwackjpg
GIF by WWEGiphySome People Didn't Mind Social Distancing
"People invading my personal space."- Mighty-Foreskin
Influence Can Be Dangerous
"Anything that has “influencer” in it."- chemistcarpenter
Indoor Voices People...
"Streamers screaming, losing their sh*t, breaking things, and having tantrums."
"I used to think this was so funny now I just can't stand it; I can't even watch a streamer if I notice they're not using their normal talking voice." - Reddit
Fail Oh No GIF by G2 EsportsGiphyTaking Responsibility Is A Sign Of Maturity
"People who constantly blame others for the situation they are in."- SuvenPan
Time Is Precious And Shouldn't Be Wasted
"Waiting on people who are constantly late to plans."
"I will wait 15 minutes then excuse myself."- Dabbles-In-Irony
There's Multi-Tasking, And Then There's Just Being Rude...
"People being on their phone while in a conversation with you."
"Seriously."
"Put your phone away!"- rosieblinkstime
Phone GIF by Poehlmann FitnessGiphyIt Takes So Much More Effort To Be Nasty...
"Bad manners, unkindness and general rudeness."
"It costs nothing to be a nice person and from someone who works in a customer-facing industry, attitudes, sadly, appear to be getting worse."
"It really makes me cross."- Bellamiles85
At Least They're Being Transparent
"Medicine commercials with worse side-effects than the thing being cured."- mrbbrj
Wasting our time and thoughts about things that we know can only bring us down is simply no way to get through life.
It's essential to live our lives by taking the present moment for what it is: a present.