We've all been hurt.
But is forgiveness necessary for our personal betterment?
Some food for thought.
Redditor 080tyrion, who allowed members of the online community to be as candid as they wanted when they asked:
"What would you say is the one thing you won't forgive a person for?"
"My father..."
"My father calling the police on me after his girlfriend moved in and he changed the locks while all my stuff was in the house still."
You are better off away. What kind of parent does that to their kid?
"I don't need..."
"My mom "forgetting" I had cancer and never once called me for 9 months during my treatment. She was never around anyways and would forget my birthday so I guess I should have expected it. Haven't talk to her in about a year. I don't need that toxicity in my life."
Going no-contact sounds like it was a great choice.
"My wife's family..."
"My wife's family taking my distress at losing my wife at 39 as weakness and trying to take advantage to get whatever they could. Nope can't forget that one."
It sounds like they never respected your wife, either.
"My stepmom..."
"My stepmom cheating on my dad. He's such a good guy and has done so much for her, including adopting her son from a previous marriage, and she destroyed him."
Wow. Hopefully your dad has healed.
"My dog dodged it..."
"Yesterday someone took a swing at my puppy with a skateboard because he was trying to show him his ball."
"My dog dodged it and it looked like his world collapsed, he couldn't grasp the fact that a human would try to hurt him."
A horrible human. Poor dog.
"I had a hysterectomy..."
"I had a hysterectomy at the ripe age of 32, and never had a chance to have children with my husband. My sister is a alcoholic and she gets very mean when she's drunk. She was upset with me one evening and she was leaving me message after message because I wouldn't pick up. I listen to one, I probably shouldn't have. She said " You will never know what it's like to have children, you wouldn't have been a good mom." Pretty much saying I deserve it. She's 48 and knows better. But I don't think I can forgive her, she goes too far. But she's in rehab now for her tenth time."
You deserve better than that.
"The father of my child..."
"The father of my child cheated on me with my mum. They are now living together as a couple. I can never forgive them."
Who could blame you?
"It always amazes me..."
"Child abuse. Emotional or Physical. It always amazes me to see people who have suffered so much abuse as a child decide to live a life very different than their parents. They make the crucial decision to end the cycle of abuse by learning more effective strategies of parenting rather than imitating their parents by taking out their anger on their children. I have the utmost respect for those individuals that decide to overcome their tragic childhood by being exceptional parents. By taking responsibility and learning to be a better parent, you end the cycle of abuse and save generations of heartache."
Sorry for your struggles. Condolences.
"My sister gave us..."
"My sister gave us three days notice that we were being evicted, and that's only because my dad confronted her with the eviction notice he found. Had he not snooped, we would have been completely caught by surprise. It's annoying because we found out that night that my grandmother and aunt, had been sending my sister money the entire time we lived with them to help us get back on our feet. We could have used that money for gas, which we had to beg her for. We could have used that money for my parents to get to job interviews that they had, but couldn't get to because of no gas, or car troubles."
"I used to be a different person, and being homeless fundamentally changed me as a person. It absolutely destroyed my social skills, and my self esteem. Since the first time of being homeless, I've been homeless 2 or three times after that. It's a bit of a blur."
"They never liked me..."
"I can't forgive my now alienated spouse's family for all literally lining up to kick me when I was down."
"They never liked me, my husband at a low point had an affair and every member of his immediate family took that to mean it was now open season on me and each unleashed every verbal disgusting assault they could, all within weeks of my life having crumbled around me as I knew it."
"My husband worked his ass off in the YEARS after to earn back my trust and respect, he was an incredibly damaged human from his upbringing in such a family. Therapy and more therapy. I lived years in agony out of love and respect for him, trying to make it through the mire that my life had become, but I cannot bring myself to try to reconcile with people who literally saw me grasping for reasons to still live and decided to grind their heels into my fingers. They killed any chance of being in my life and the lives of my children for good."
We understand where these people are coming from.
Do you have similar experiences? Share them in the comments below.