
We have to admire the snappy, caustic wit that enables people to issue scorching remarks without so much as a blink of their eyes, and we implore you to share the best burns you've ever heard with us!
There is indeed an art to a good insult. If you're looking for some new ones to add to your repertoire, then guess what? You're in luck! People shared their favorites after Redditor JR9045 asked the online community,
"What is your go-to insult?"
"Step-dad absolutely crushing..."
"I've seen better arms on a chair."
Step-dad absolutely crushing the dreams of a friend who had been working out trying to put on muscle."
Savage––I wouldn't want to run into your step-dad in a dark alley.
"A friend asked..."
"I'm slightly overweight.
A friend asked where I was and someone replied, "Probably stuck in a door somewhere."
Even I couldn't stop laughing."
"This was a decade ago..."
"As an Irishman, the term "gobshite" holds a special place in my heart.
The most creative one I've ever heard, though was from my stepfather's uncle the first time we went out to meet his family in Texas when I was 13. I'm a ginger, but freckles only really come out in the sun. When they come out I don't just have freckles. I have Freckles. Obviously spending the summer in the middle of TX, got quite a lot of sun. This lovely, jovial, redneck man took one look at me and said "Goddamn, son, you look like a pig farted on you through a screen door."
This was a decade ago, and I still have never gotten over the sickness of that burn."
That is pretty creative and now I can't get the image it inspires out of my head.
"My husband and I..."
"My husband and I were talking with some guy at a gay bar. Pretty damn sure we didn't know him from Adam. He insisted that we had met him in the past.
He says, "How can you not remember me?"
Hubs: "Don't take it personally, I've forgotten people far more memorable than you."
Ouch. That's a great way to shut someone up.
"I was in a bodega..."
"I was in a bodega with these terrifyingly popular-looking teen girls, and one of them snapped at the other, "Ok, how about talk to me when your ankle socks match."
Like...the SPECIFICITY made me want to die just having received contact burn and I'm a fully grown woman with a baby and a mortgage."
The specificity of an insult could mean that it's a well-crafted insult, and a well-crafted insult will hurt much more.
"Somewhere on this planet..."
"Somewhere on this planet, there is a tree that has spent its entire life producing the oxygen that you have breathed. You need to find that tree and apologize."
"I have a thick skin..."
"I have a thick skin, but someone said I look like Andre' $3000 in debt. It was both the funniest and meanest thing I've heard about myself."
"They really..."
"Lonely people take long and hot showers to get the warmth of those who they need."
They really called me out."
"You know that feeling..."
"You know that feeling when you break the wrist on your dominant arm and you have to wipe with your weak hand? Yeah, you look like the human version of that."
Well, it's clear I need to step up my insult game, but I also don't want to get beat the hell up, so I guess I'll just keep my mouth shut.
Have some favorites of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Various organizations can have any number of followers who are totally devoted to their respective missions, it seems like a cult.
Religions are known for having so many followers who abide by a lifestyle that comports to supporting the faith.
But the same dedication can apply to non-religious organizations.
These were explored when Redditor DrLizardLover asked:
"What isn't a religion but people treat it like it is?"
People in the big picture have their insanely dedicated followers.
Elon, The God
"I spoke vaguely against Elon Musk in a reply to a comment on a video."
"The video has gone viral, and the comment I replied to was pinned. So I get about 3-4 notifications a day of musk simps acting like I've insulted a deity. I've just rolled with it and reminded them he's essentially an oligarch and is inherently not a good dude. They froth."
– Goatfellon
Matinee Idols
"Celebrity worship."
– VisualSeaweed5927
Actor Adulation
"Whatever Jared Leto’s got going on."
– SirMooncake
People find a sense of belonging in social media groups and communities.
Following With The Flow
"People who worship streamers."
– The_bombblows12
Gaming Culture
"Steamer/Twitch culture freaks me out. I've been a gamer my whole life (only 30,) but the gaming scene is so strange to me. I truly hope the people in Twitch chats are nothing like that in real life."
– kamWise
"Poggers Dude"
"Take this with a grain of salt. But I've met a few other people who have watched twitch. Most of them are a bit nerdy, but nothing crazy."
"But one guy, he was like an attractive, active dude, who you might see on the beach in California going for a surf. He and I were at a barbecue and he was talking about something non gaming related and he said 'poggers dude'. I had to take a second to realize what I heard. Then I started to notice him saying things like 'PogChamp' and some of the other popular twitch phrases. Later come to find out he is like a die hard fan of some esport, can't remember which."
"I realize this isn't quite like a typical twitch chat of what you see on big streams like xqc, mizkif, or others. But still I imagine there are probably some people out there who act like those chats."
– CaptSprinkls
The FB Matriarchy
"Mom groups on facebook."
– Swift_Lad
Anonymous Tippers
"There was a streamer poker game the other night and seeing these guys dump half a million in an hour made me wonder, why are people donating to these people? It's like that Kylie Jenner thing where one of her employee got an accident and she started a gofundme for 150K instead of paying it herself."
– Zorops
Power Play
"Cricket game in india."
– RayTrader03
"Cricket in Australia, too, lol."
– CalypsoContinuum
People flock to this popular financial prospect.
"Multi level marketing."
– Voice_of_Season
Predatory Endeavor
"What upsets me is I sometimes meet people who are genuinely motivated to change their life but completely misguided in what they invest their time and money into and mlm sorta preys on that."
– ultimaIV
A "Sunny" Reference
“ It’s a Pyramid scheme!”
“No, it’s not a Pyramid Scheme, it’s a Reverse Funnel system!”
“…turn it upside down”
“Goddamnit! Sh*t!”
– doobydoodle
Pitch At A Party
"Dude.. I was just at a child's birthday party and this douche was telling my aunt about his wellness products. She said sounds like MLM. No it isn't though because I really believe in the products. Do you have someone encouraging you to sell. No I don't I sell it because it's a high quality product at a reasonable price. Do you make good money? Not yet because we are brand new. What else do you do for work. This is it right now. I'm happy with my regular wellness products. How would you know until you try these? This went on for the entire birthday party. She said I'm Not Interested. And turned the other way. He still pestered her."
"After the party he was asking people if anybody knew my aunt's phone number."
– lumberjackpat19
It's one thing for a person to join a community of like-minded individuals to feel a sense of belonging.
But it's another thing when they lose a sense of themselves completely for their blind devotion.
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There are many things in modern society that are generally accepted but would have been considered taboo as little as ten to twenty years ago.
But even in our supposedly progressive modern age, we still have a long way to go.
Far too many people are still hesitant or afraid to be open about elements of their life, fearing too many people wouldn't consider it "normal."
This idea piqued the curiosity of Redditor Sham-da-man, leading him to reach out to the Reddit community on what needs changing in modern society by asking:
"What needs to be normalized?"
Finding that work/life balance.
Choosing to leave a job during your probation period. The probation period is not just for the company to see if you’re a good fit, but for you to assess the company and see if you actually like it. A lot of employers tend to forget this, and then it is sometimes looked down upon on your CV unfortunately. - User Deleted
"Taking time off work when you’re sick."- HuffleSlut_.
"Being able to go home from work if your tasks are completed."
"Not at 10am because you don't have anything on your plate, but say at 3:45pm after you've busted it all day, completed your items, helped a few co-workers with some things outside of your scope, and are now browsing reddit because you're waiting on people to get back to you before you're able to proceed."- xLenny3x.
It takes a real man to know...
"Men actually having feelings and not have to 'take it like a man'."- Gifigi600.
Sorry, can't help you!
"Not being available at all times."- INTPhoenix.
Saying 'I don’t know enough to have an opinion on this issue' or 'I don’t know'.- LiquidPenChamber1019.
Table for one.
"Eating alone."- -lmayonnaise.
That might be what YOU think, but...
"Being allowed to disagree with people in your community, and being allowed to agree with people outside your community."
"We are so polarized and political these days."- 604jmv.
Not ashamed to admit it.
'Mental health struggles.'
"Society has come a long way but we still have progress to be made."- JBAnswers26.
Arguably, there's another very pressing issue which needs to be normalized more than anything.
The overuse and expectations of the word "normal."
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Expectations can be a dangerous thing.
It's very easy to be excited for an upcoming movie or TV show, an item of clothing you've been dying to own, or a vacation we've been saving years for.
But sometimes, when reality sets in, whatever it was we were so eagerly looking forward to doesn't always turn out to be everything we'd hoped it would be.
Redditor Tarps-celom was curious what fellow Redditors had sky-high expectations for, only to find themselves let down, and asked:
"What were you really hyped for but completely flopped?"
Is being a grown up all that it's cracked up to be?
"Being an adult."- marr318
"Running my own business."- LB_P
"Having a career, our whole life built up to this..and its just mediocre, and NOBODY knows what they are really doing."- SnooPandas1674.
For all the advancements in technology...
"Power Glove."
"It sucked and I'll never forget it."- Ekh0es.
"Google +"
"They made us to wait for a very long time with invite only feature."
'Ppl forgot about it when it was released."- introvertboyme.
Not worth the price of admission.
"'Dark Tower' movie."- urchisilver.
"M.Night's 'Avatar' movie."
"He broke my heart."- Suspicious-Elk-3631.
So much better the first time.
"Sim city 5.'
"Good God what a horrid mess."
"First week or more of release you were lucky to play because you could only play it online on their servers that were constantly full."
"Then once you hit like 50k people in your city the game was uncontrollable."
"You would literally run out of water and no matter what you did traffic took the shortest path so constant traffic and thus emergency vehicles couldn't move so everything went to hell fast."- InsertBluescreenHere
"Second go round of 'Arrested Development'."
"Deep inside I knew they’d never be able to capture that magic."
"Still, told myself they could."
"Narrator: They couldn’t."- PollyWentlightly
"Should old acquaintance be forgot..."
"Every New Year’s Eve party ever."- PollyWentlightly
When expectations are high, being disappointed is almost inevitable.
Then too, it's entirely possible that our disappointment didn't stem one bit from our sky-high expectations, but simply the fact that what we were so looking forward to turned out to be just plain awful.
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Elon Musk is one of the richest men on the planet. He's also among the most controversial.
In recent weeks, Musk made headlines for his $44 billion buyout of Twitter, which sparked concerns among liberals and civil rights activists who have warned about the consequences of having one person have so much control over public discourse online.
Musk has defended his venture as a bid to protect free speech and while there exist many editorials analyzing his motives in this venture (to say nothing of his others), there are also many people out there who consider him a visionary and have balked at criticisms of him.
We heard from a few of those people after Redditor return2ozma asked the online community,
"Those who defend Elon Musk, why do you feel the need to defend him?"
"All of that stuff..."
"I dont really care about Musk himself. My issue is the sheer hypocrisy."
"People are suddenly saying the speech will be restricted and he will use his power to selectively ban accounts like Big Tech (especially Twitter) haven't been doing that for years."
"MSNBC said that he would use it to promote good info on presidential candidates he likes and hide good info on candidates he doesn't. That he would exaggerate the bad and put it to the front for candidates he hates while doing the opposite for those he likes. like Big Tech (and mainstream media) hasnt been doing that for years."
"People are screaming that billionaires are able to purchase entire media platforms. like Billionaires havent been doing that for years. All of that stuff they were mocking political opponents for suddenly might be used on them, and now it's an issue?"
InvisibleMe21
People have been complaining about the very things you have raised. And also complaining about Musk who has historically proven he is not really a fan of free and open speech.
"A lot of people hate him..."
"I don't defend him. But when people make assumptions and straight up lie, I will call them out for it. A lot of people hate him, just because it's trendy to do so. In reality they don't know anything about him."
[deleted]
I mean, that's fine. But, when people make up lies to prop up Elon, I hope you have that same enthusiasm for the truth.
"If you're reading this..."
"If you’re reading this, then you’re old enough to know that mainstream media sets the mood for the perception of public figures, but also that that mood is never some objectively accurate measure of the persons overall goodness or badness. Media is like fashion: winds change."
"So don’t come at me saying “why does your opinion differ from the sentiment I happen to have read in the news lately?” That is inherently a dumb question."
"Real answer: Because when he says his goal is to make life interplanetary and spread consciousness to the stars, I believe that’s genuine."
"I honestly don’t understand how you can justify believing he’s not driven to make the world a better place: his motivation leaks through every single endeavor he undertakes."
Do you really think it’s a coincidence that the same guy who popularized electric cars is also pushing forward other optimistic, utopian-aiming tech like solar energy, high-speed rail and tunnel infrastructure, brain-computer interfaces, space exploration, and uncensorable Internet?"
"To that, I say: what an extraordinary coincidence that the guy who’s supposedly a fraud and big danger to humanity is simultaneously involved in so many things that a real tech-oriented humanist would be. Extraordinary coincidence!"
"The real question is, 1) why the hate? and 2) given the above how can you actually justify thinking he’s not genuinely all about advancing the human race?"
"I fear y’all only hate him because he’s a bit autistic, combined with jealousy, but especially combined with the fact he’s been getting piled on a lot."
adamisom
You can certainly make an argument that mainstream media doesn't like him but many people just don't like the man's attitude and entitlement.
"He can be a real jerk. He does things I don't agree with, and is famous enough that a lot of his personal life is public. And the people attacking him seem to forget that he has a right to be himself. If he were running for public office then we should worry about what he believes, but until then, let him be him."
"He's on the autism spectrum, and so am I, so I guess I'm a little sensitive to the fact that his brain works differently, and he sees things differently, and he gets attacked for it. I defend him against people who attack him for being different because in many ways I feel like I'm defending my right to be different and see the world in a way that others do not."
AlsoNotTheMamma
While I do not find Elon in any way shape or form to be a role model of mine, I do applaud your reasoned and level headed response.
"If he gets us to Mars..."
"If he gets us to Mars in the next decade or so, I think he will be every young kid's role model whether we like it or not."
"The important thing for me is that he's not perfect, and I don't expect him to be. Flawed people can accomplish great things if they work hard. And have access to money."
AlsoNotTheMamma
The key here, of course, is money. If you don't have any money, what can you actually do?
"I wouldn’t say I like Musk as a person either but that doesn’t mean I would discredit all of the massive advancements in innovation and technology he has done for the world."
rbui5000
Safe to say he's very much a "love him or hate him" sort of figure. There is no in-between.
"I don't get the blind hate..."
"I don't get the blind hate or blind love of him. I am amazed by what he has achieved in a number of areas, he's clearly a brilliant clear thinker in terms of engineering, but he's still flawed. He says and does things I don't like, but so far the world is a much better place because of him."
mother-a-god
Granted, all the billionaire hate is justified. Is the world actually better when Musk symbolizes so much of its inequality?
"He's not someone I admire or desire to emulate. However, the world's innovation is driven by people like this guy, and as controversial as he is he does a lot of good things."
[deleted]
Can you elaborate on this for people who don't follow him?
"I don't really defend him. I just think self driving electric cars and rockets are pretty cool."
Rorty
Okay, fair! Those things are indeed pretty cool.
There's no doubt that Elon Musk is one of the most polarizing figures in the world. How he'll continue to effect the world we live in remains to be seen but whatever lies in store for us is bound to have significant impacts on society at large.
Have opinions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
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