What's up with public marriage proposals? I certainly wouldn't want that kind of pressure. But even those aren't the weirdest kind. How about popping the question on a game show? Or pretending to break up with someone, only to propose? And I can't even get a text back...
Champagne_tatertots asked: What's the worst marriage proposal story you've ever heard?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Dad - subtlety master.
My parents. They were in the produce section of a grocery store when my dad says "all our friends are getting married we should too."
My mom thinking he was joking just said yea and moved on with shopping. A couple days later she got to thinking about it and with the serious way he said it had her confused.
She goes to him and asks if it was a serious question or if he really was just kidding around. He responds with "well yea I thought we were engaged now" 34 years later and they're still married.
Next time just stick with "hi mom."
I remember seeing a YouTube video about a guy who proposed on some light-hearted late night game show or something. Everyone was getting into the fun, happy, late-night vibe except the woman, who had a look of pure horror on her face. Eventually she whispers "Can we.....can we talk about this later? Please?"
The juxtaposition between the humiliated couple and the cheesy party backing music, just made it hilariously tragic.
I think I remember that. I think they had only been dating for a month and the lady was wigged out.
Reminds me of the scene from the office when Michael asks Carol to marry him.
"You're trash Brock."
If you wanna say no, say no.
I had a Disneyland proposal. My ex and I went there for Christmas after 4 months of dating. 2nd day we were waiting in line for the haunted Mansion, and he suggested we get a pic on the steps.
I'm standing there trying to smile for a picture and he gets down on one knee and goes at it while a cast member takes a video. People are noticing and cheering for us. I was totally blindsided.
I felt like I had no choice but to say yes, even though I really did not want to. The ring was given to him by a friend, and was ugly, not my style, and not even close to my size.
When we got home he manipulated me into letting him move in with me and I was stuck with him for another year until I managed to move myself away, get some distance, and leave him. It was terrible. I should have risked him leaving me on the side of the road in California instead.
This story sucks, but not because of you, but the way you were pressured into it. A proposal should be private!
I don't know the specifics but it kind of seems like the whole situation would've been fixed by just saying no.
Also if a guy gets you an ugly ring it means he doesn't love you.
Gotta admire the courage.
Our 6th grade English teacher told us of how a kid found a ring in the parking lot and proposed to her.
Um ok.
I'm on good terms with one of my ex-girlfriends, so I got to hear this story of how her husband proposed to her:
They were sitting around their apartment one day and he asks her, "hey, can you get my phone from the bedroom?" Okay, she gets his phone for him.
A minute passes. "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?" She gets him a glass of water. Another minute passes. "Hey, can you bring me that pair of socks on top of my dresser?"
She gets the socks. The ring is in the socks. He proposes. He actually thought he was being romantic. She thought it was weird as f*ck.
Even weirder, she said yes, and they've been married for more than ten years.
This is so weird and funny! What's with the lead up of making her get other things first?
Maybe he forgot which mundane item he'd stashed the ring in.
"Huh.... not the socks.... bring me the cat."
Sounds like a totally healthy relationship.
My buddy's girlfriend kept telling him that he couldn't surprise her. After college, they were planning to move together to another town.
About 6 months before graduation, he told her he wasn't sure about the move or their relationship. She turned around to cry. He called her name, and when she turned back, he was on one knee. Did it to surprise her.
I'm not sure I want to be your boyfriend anymore...
BECAUSE I WANT TO BE YOUR HUSBAND!
This guy's a douche don't marry him.
A friend of my sister had specifically told her boyfriend she hated public proposals and didn't want a bunch of people there, so what does he do but gather their entire extended family to do it. Ugh.
Did she say yes still? I would take that at as a red flag for marriage
They'd been together for years. He's actually a good guy, just committed this one egregious faux pas.
She said no? Good.
One day he drives her to a surprise location for a date. He takes her to this random house in the suburbs with a dog tied up in the front lawn.
He then proceeds to propose and explain how her bought the house of their dreams, dog included, and how they could raise their children here.
The woman (my friend) was so flabbergasted that all she said was something like "wtf, you bought a house and a dog without even telling me?"
He thought he was making this grand romantic gesture, but she was super annoyed that he had apparently arranged their whole lives without even asking for her input.
Needless to say she said no. Last I heard he lived in the house for a bit and then sold it for a loss. No mention of the dog, but I'm hoping it wound up with a good family.
Think fast before you say yes.
My dad walked through the living room and tossed a ring at my mom. 27 years married btw.
"Hey babe, think fast!" chucks ring box at girlfriend.
Nice, Gram.
My grandmother stopped a bad proposal;
After a great night out, my grandfather said "the ring is in the glove box, if you want it"
She demanded he get out of the car and propose like a man. They were married for 60+ years.
How romantic.
Apparently when a friend of mine and his girlfriend got engaged it was because they were arguing in a restaurant and he just said "DO YOU JUST WANT ME TO PROPOSE TO YOU?!".
She apparently took that as an actual proposal and talked about how cute it was to other people. She was a bridezilla during the whole planning stage, they DID get married, and then she admitted that she had cheated on him with an old college boyfriend and was moved out of their apartment before they even hit the 6 month mark.
And people were shocked when his best friend said that he would not give them their blessing... sounds like dude was right not to.
My teeth itch.
Me and my sister went to watch twilight new moon when it first came out and when we walked into the theatre this guy and girl were up in front of the whole theatre giving a speech about how she was his lamb and he was a lion a la first twilight cringe Edward speech to Bella.
He proposed, she said yes, and they then proceeded to sit down and watch that mess of a movie. I was shook and I still feel the cringe to this day. It wasn't even a nice theatre lmao
What year is it again?
I CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER THIS ONE (but it's actually a really sad answer)
My housemate just told me about how one of her friends back home just got engaged.
My housemate comes from a *very* religious community. Like, they have their own shops, restaurants, their own college. They used to have their own high school but it got shut down for some reason.
Anyway, the friend's fiancé proposed to her 20+ times over the course of several months. The church encouraged him to keep on harassing her, and the church shamed her into giving in.
They told her that it was her "duty" as a woman to get married and have children, and that she was getting too old anyway (she's 27!).
Eventually the friend broke down and agreed to marry him. All of her female friends, her sister and her mother are all trying to convince her not to go through with it, but she's made up her mind.
I think they're getting married in April.
the friend's fiancé proposed to her 20+ times over the course of several months. The church encouraged him to keep on harassing her, and the church shamed her into giving in. They told her that it was her "duty" as a woman to get married and have children, and that she was getting too old anyway (she's 27!).
Yikes. I feel so bad for her.
I do too. It's a really sad situation.
I think the saddest part is that she's started to believe what the church told her. She says that breaking off the engagement would be "selfish, because it would be denying her fiancé a wife."
Awww.
Not bad, just so so silly, and it's all mine
My husband and I had gone to our favorite lake, and he was beyond nervous. I knew it was coming because he's just not able to surprise me lol.
So we get to our spot, and he just stands there shivering with me on his arm, looking over the lake and watching a pair of geese mosey around near us.
Eventually, he asked me if he should pick up a stick that was laying nearby to throw at the geese. My "wtf no?!" shriek startled the geese to go into the water and lazily swim away.
After a few more minutes, he stuttered, "so.. uhh, you wanna marry me?" I knew it was coming, but still my mind went blank, and I replied after staring at him for a minute, "well duh". So we're definitely meant for each other!
He later told me the suggested goose assault was his panicked minds' idea to get him on his knee. What a goof, he didn't have a ring and that just wasn't our style anyway.
We were together 6 years at the time and had been discussing marriage for a while, so his fear was pretty unfounded lol
Married 2 years now, he's my forever person, and now I subconsciously associate geese with romance 😂 ❤
Why not, right?
I know I'm late but I think my wife and I qualify. We were living together, I was working full time and in school, she's working 3-11 shift and 7 months pregnant.
She just had a health scare and we were laying in bed on Tuesday morning discussing that if something happened to her, her abusive father could, potentially gain custody of our child.
Finally, laying there, I looked at her and said "you know, if we were married it wouldn't be an issue". She said, "are you serious" and I replied with "yes." She thought about it for a minute and said, "sure, let's do it."
We looked at our schedules and decided we would shower and go and get our marriage license before she had to go to work. I found a Justice of the Peace that would perform our ceremony the following Sunday (5 days later).
We told our immediate family who we wanted to attend (my Mom and best friend, her sister, Aunt, and best friend). Somehow, my mother made my wife's dress in 5 days.
Sunday we were married in an old, run down courtroom by a very nice JoP. Then we had our friends over for pizza and soda.
March will be 20 years.
Dad moves fast.
Not really a bad story, but we tease our parents for it all the time. My dad basically told my mom he wanted to marry her the night they met at a party hosted by my aunt (dad's sister).
My mom was like "heehee okay" and they started dating pretty much immediately. Keep in mind they didn't really know each other beforehand, and this dialogue happened after a few drinks.
Later, my dad "proposed" to her with a ring he made out of a napkin while waiting for her to show up to a dinner date, and they made it official with an engagement ring they found together at an antique store.
They're still happily married today with 4 kids (including me), so I guess all's well that ends well.
Somewhat of a cute story, but they're both lucky it worked out, haha.
Smooth.
My sister's husband proposed to her by sitting next to her, taking out the ring, sliding it over to her, and saying "here".
She's really big on romantic proposals. She would have loved the whole restaurant reservation, tapping the glass, proposal speech, and getting on one knee scene.
So it kind of crushed her because it seemed like he didnt make an effort. Not sure what his perspective is.
Yes or no, right now.
This isn't a terrible proposal but more one with a funny twist. My parents where celebrating New Year and my dad in the emotion of the moment said to my mom that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her that why didn't they get married.
There was no ring... Just the thought and the moment. My mom said she was going to think about it. After a month of not mentioning the topic again and my dad all anxious about what did she have to think so much about, asked her if she had already had enough time to think.
She asked "about what?"... Dad: "about we getting married" to which my mom answered "ohh that was serious?" She then took another month to this time really think about it and said yes. 30+ years now and happily married.
Fail.
My ex lied that he was going to get deported. Gave me a ring that "was his grandmother's" Which was missing a bunch of stones and not resized.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
