We all know the basic rules of respect when we visit another person's house. But some people seem determined to ignore all respectful rules of society. And for some reason we all have to deal with them.
Here were some of the answers.
51. Not The Oreos!!!!Giphy
My dad is really into church activities, so he thought to bring over one of the Sunday school teachers and a bunch of the kids. My mom would have never let such a thing happen, she hates having strangers wandering around our small house, she wasn't there. This event further solidified her anxiety.
While I was in my room playing Xbox my dad and everyone else were out in the backyard doing whatever. They were coming in and out of the sliding glass door frequently so i didn't think anything of it when i heard it happen one last time before they left.
It turns out that the Sunday school teacher, a young woman who was a recent addition to my dad's church, had come back inside and stole my mom's engagement ring.
She didn't get away with it, but also didn't pawn it, not yet i assumed. The ring was undamaged so my mom wasn't as angry as she was when she discovered it gone.
We also found that two containers of Oreo's were stolen.
My dad never invited church people over again after that.
50. Way To Turn The Tables, Sis
Last night one of my oldest and closest friends came to visit. She's been living in another state for a couple years. We had a little party and by 3am she and her 4 year old daughter we're the only ones left. My boyfriend and I we're ready for bed and told her nicely it was time for her to go, she wouldn't leave. We spent over an hour constantly telling her to go, finally by around 4:30am my boyfriend told her she's making him angry and that she needs to get the f*ck out and go home. She then spent another 30 minutes telling us how hurt her feelings are and that the friendship is over and she'll never be coming back.
49. Don't Steal From My Mom
Stole a joint from my mom's supply. She hardly ever smokes so she was a little upset when one of her two were gone, and she assumed I did it. Normally they can tell if I'm lying and I genuinely had no idea what happened to it until afterwords. Worst part is, the dude who took it was a close friend who tried to play it off like I had no idea what I was talking about. The idiot threw away the wrapper in his trash can and I saw it the day I went over. Called him out on his bullsh*t and he paid me for it, so I got my mom some coffee stuff.
48. Housemate Drama
Had a house with two other roommates, one of the roommates (let's call her Sam) invited an old high school friend over to stay on our couch a few days while she attended a festival here in Tampa. She invited people she met at the festival to come over and have an impromptu "party", then preceded to leave the sliding glass door open.
My other roommate (let's call him Tom) had a dog and she ran out the door. Tom and I had to run around trying to find his poor dog and after a half hour or so scouring the neighborhood we found her. When we collected ourselves back to the house she apologized, but not sincerely. She said and a quote "this wouldn't have happened if you trained your dog better, but I should have closed the door". Didn't say a word, yell or do anything drastic. Poured a whiskey, stared at her with unhinged Jack Nicholson eyes and went back to my room.
47. Too Many Drinks, Please Get Off My ThighGiphy
Wow, mine sounds so tame compared to most here, but, a family friend was in town and dad invited him over to spend the night. He always drinks so much and proceeds to vomit in the bathroom which then reeks for the next couple of days. My parents always had to clean the bathroom. He also kept continuously staring at me and once kept his hand on my thigh and wouldn't leave it alone.
I don't know if my dad ever noticed it, but I've never told them about it. He has been out of a job for years now and hence doesn't come to our town anymore.
46. Pet Litter No-Go
My half-brother had just moved across the country and my parents offered to let him stay in the basement for a bit until he could get his apartment. Now to start off, it was originally just him, his daughter (my niece), and their chocolate lab. It ended up being them, along with 3 cats and two cages of rats.
When they arrived i couldn't even go near the car it smelt so bad. Apparently they had run out of cage litter half way through the trip and was just using laundry as a substitute, old shirts and stuff. The rats had also gotten loose in the uhaul trailer and had made nests in all their stuff. Now why this was a problem was because we had the car in the garage and over the time they were with us the smell started to leak into the house. It was horrible.
They were only supposed to stay for a week, ended up staying for almost a month. We were also dealing with all the pets which didn't make things any easier. They were staying in the basement and by the time they left it was an absolute mess and stunk to high heaven. My brother has no concept of cleaning and leaves garbage everywhere.
Also remember that lab i mentioned they had? First off he didn't get along very well with my parents two dogs, causing lots of fights. Well then he decided to mark his territory all over the house. Peeing on some of my moms nice furniture and even my parents BED! The dog was then banned from the house.
So overall not only did he greatly overstay his welcome but he trashed the basement and left the garage a stinking mess. He then had the gall to say that my parents were being unfair when they complained and said they were judging him and not giving him a chance. Honestly we got lucky after seeing how he destroyed his apartment but thats a whole other story.
45. Unfriendly Animals
I let a bunch of friends stay the night but I was one of the first to sleep. I wake up he next morning and the door is wiiiiiiiide open and everybody is dead asleep. Now I don't care about burglaries but my street has like 10 families of stray cats and one raccoon living on it. My street is like the game of thrones stray cats edition that's how many different families of strays we have wandering around (plus a ton of other evidence I've found pointing to the conclusion that the strays have an unstable hierarchy of warring territories, but that's besides the point) so i was worried like crazy when I had to think about whether any strays wandered in and made a nest in one of my closets or cabinets.
44. Thiiiiiis Is Pretty Much Stalking
This person can NOT take no for an answer. I lived in an apartment as a teenager with my mom so we share walls with people. Meaning you should be quiet. Well this guy would come to my house and spend the night. Middle of the night he would yell random curse words. Throw basketballs off the wall and catch it. Eat all of my families food. It was terrible.
I stopped asking to hangout after that night. Although he tried many times to hangout afterwards. Going as far to just show up to my home. And find the hidden key. And just walk in and force me to hangout. He has also walked right into my home while I was sleeping and woke me up and forced me to hangout.
He also will ask if I can hangout, I'll say no because I don't want to. And he will drive to my home and sit outside of my home until I come out. Honking his horn. (I still live in an apartment so this is very disrespectful) I have threatened to call the cops on him if he does any of this again.
43. This Is Pretty Much Murder Though
Stepmom had back surgery and I was there helping her get around and what not. My stepniece Rose (her bio granddaughter) shows up randomly on the weekend and wants to visit.
After her visit we notice stepmom's pain pills are gone. All of them, even the Tylenol 3. I called her doctor in a panic but the nurse said the doc won't write a new prescription for more pain pills until he saw a police report (which: not true, nurses can be d*cks).
Stepmom refused to call the police because she knew Rose stole them and didn't want to admit it, finally said maybe it was Rose but maybe they were just 'lost'? Three days later I was able to get a new prescription but those were a three terrible days.
Stepmom later died and when her pain pills were stolen a second time. During the funeral, I called the police. Rose admitted to stealing them and selling them for 'fun money' at her college campus but basically got away with it. And I'm no longer welcome at any family functions because I was so mean to Rose.
I stay with my Grandma sometimes, she is quite old and suffers from Alzheimer's, the only languages she can speak/understand are Punjabi and Hindi, we had some other relatives come over and for the entirety of her visit they made fun of her and the her dementia, and proceeded to laugh at her every time she spoke, they did this in both English and Punjabi but my grandmother couldn't catch on to what they were saying and would laugh with them - which would prompt them to make fun of her again. Needless to say, they have never been invited over again.
41. Why My Makeup?
While staying with us over the holidays my husband's relative stole over $300 worth of my makeup. That sounds like a lot, but really it isn't. Basically she took all my favorites that I use daily, stuff I was going to miss right away. She even took a bottle of foundation and we are not remotely the same shade, she's ghostly pale and I bet she looked like a walking fake tan disaster if she wore it.
She did it while I drove another relative to the bus station and was already gone when I got home. Who wants to steal used makeup, including mascara?! I figured she could keep it. I didn't want it back and she did me a favor by stealing something minor and letting me know she's a thief.
40. Respect Service Animals
This happened two days ago. My daughter has epilepsy and we are training her service dog, a process that takes upwards of a year and requires consistency in everything. My wife's friend comes over for dinner and feeds the dog table scraps. One of her requirements for public access is to ignore dropped food or things that smell like food unless she has permission. It will take weeks to recondition her to ignore dropped food again.
Seems like a small thing but there is a reason service dogs cost $30k+, they are a lot of work.
39. Psycho Beach Party
I offered to let the adult daughter of some close friends stay at my house for a few months while she finished her masters. I knew this girl was into partying, smoking weed, drinking etc., but I thought she was generally a responsible adult. After a month or so when she finished her thesis, and no longer needed to attend classes that's when I realized this girl was the furthest thing from a responsible adult.
Weed was very illegal where I lived, but she smoked day and night on my balcony. She dropped a bag of it somewhere in my house, and just casually mentioned it. I've never smoked, so I had no idea what the tiniest zip-loc bag of what looked like dirt and leaves was that I picked up off the ground.
But I was lucky my 2 yo didn't eat it. She left an empty blunt wrap in the bathroom trashcan that she shared with my elementary school aged children. She not only asked for money, she would also take any money I left out for the nanny to go shopping. I found out later she borrowed money from the nanny as well and never paid back.
She was always broke, but partied all night. She wouldn't even wake up until after 6, almost 8pm. She never worked so she ate for free without contributing. All this while implying not so subtly that if I told her parents what she was up to that she'd retaliate somehow. It's been over a year, and I have barely talked to her or her parents since then. I'm genuinely afraid to see them because I think their daughter is psychotic and I just rather not see any of them.
38. Someone's Been Sleeping In My Bed
I have a long distance family members who I never met before staying over my mother's house for a week, this 13 years old kid was always in my room playing on my PlayStation every time I came from work or school, it was annoying because he would be in my bed and always leave a mess in my room and his mother wouldn't do anything about it. The worst part is that in the last day they stayed, the stupid kid dropped his luggage from the stairs and made a hole in the wall and him and the mother act like nothing happened.
37. There's A Robber In My BedGiphy
We let a couple with their young daughter move into our house because they were being evicted. she didn't tell us her boyfriend had severe drug issues.
He stole our wedding bands (husband and i had both lost weight and we were waiting to get them resized until our goals were met) and pawned them along with every PlayStation game we had, most of our kids' movies, my father-in-laws chainsaw we had borrowed and a bunch of other stuff. our house smelled like rancid incense and unwashed socks for the entire time they were there. neither had jobs. in that time they cost us almost 4000 dollars. it was awful. They were there about a month.
36. Here Hold My Drugs Friend
My senior year of college I was living in a 4-bedroom apartment with 3 other college girls. One of my best friends/roommtes, let's call her Lily, had a good heart but a bad habit of making friends with & trusting a rougher crowd, which got her into some sticky situations. There was this guy from her class she would invite over to our apartment to study with. I got weird vibes from him. He confessed to Lilly during one of their study sessions that he once struggled with a heroin habit but was currently working on staying clean. A few weeks later, he showed up at our apartment in the pouring rain & asked to come in. Lily let him in. This guy started freaking out, saying that a van was following him everywhere and he needed somewhere to "hold his stash". He tried to convince Lily to hold his heroin for him ! Apparently he'd fallen back into old habits and expected Lily would be cool with holding it on our apartment until he felt less paranoid. She flushed the heroin down the toilet and never spoke with him again.
35. Ruining My China
This will probably get lost, but here goes..
One of my mums old friends came round for tea for the first time in 10 years. I decided to serve the tea with the best crockery we had, on this beautiful wooden, hand painted tray that my grandmother gave my mum when she was only a young girl.
We had a lovely time, and this women couldn't stop fawning over the "delightful little tray" the whole time. Everything was normal, and nothing seemed amiss at all until she was leaving and said "I've left a little gift for you, I hope you enjoy it!".
Now she hadn't come with any bags, just a purse so we were confused but assumed she'd left a card or something.
I didn't think anything else of it until I was gently wiping down the tray after she had left. There scratched into the wood, with what I can only imagine was a knife, was "[her name] woz 'ere"
WTH? Who does that?! The tray was ruined, the paint was chipped and this name was etched so deeply there wasn't any hope of repairing it. We left her alone for maybe 2 mins to get a cake, and she spent a good 2 hours chatting after that as if she hadn't done anything. How she even did it that quickly or why I don't know.
Safe to say she never came for tea again.
34. And Now I'm Angry
My brother's girlfriend came over for the first time to meet everyone, and my dog (who was a puppy at the time) jumped up on the couch to greet her. She didn't like that, so she picked him up and threw him on the ground. He yelped. I was upstairs when I heard this unfold, and I came barreling down the stairs. My mom did everything in her power to keep me from chewing this chick the f*ck out. I picked up my dog and took him upstairs and kept him there until she left.
They're still dating. I don't think that's something I can ever get past.
33. This Was Not The Party To Crash
At my baby shower with my 1st daughter, an old friend from middle school last minute decided to invite herself and her little son. While I was my living room setting up, she walks in and starts yapping away. Now I never really liked this girl but she always made herself welcome to any and all of my circles of friends (till this day). Anyways, my shirt had lifted up a bit and revealed some of my side.
Mind you I'm fragile in this state. I didn't really want to be a mom yet and I was like 18. This girl is a stick figure since birth. She proceeded to yell out loud... "ewwww you have stretch marks?! I didn't get any." And continued to munch on whatever good she was shoving down her throat. I had and still have no words except...
I hate that b*tch.
32. Blood Is NOT ThickerGiphy
A relative was in the city and needed a place to stay. She didn't tell how many nights. Out of courtesy, we didn't ask because she's a 1st degree relative and might start family drama. She ended up overstaying — 2 weeks. Free everything. My compassionate mom even gave up her room for her. I told my mom that she can sleep on my bed and I'll sleep in the sala but she refused. When I peep in my mom's room, i saw my f*cking leech relative getting ready for bed as if she owns the place. That'll be the last time she'll sleep in our house. F*ck family drama
31. Gold Finch And Linnet Bird
I used to foster and raise baby wildlife in my home. One year I had a little gold finch that had done very well and was a day or two from being released. One of my daughters friends came in the house and little Goldie flew over to where she was in the hallway and landed on the ground. She gave the bird a puzzled look and then quickly lifted her foot and stomped him to death.
I literally freaked out to the point that I don't remember for sure what I did but I think it involved dragging her out of the house by her hair whilst screaming swear words that I normally never use at her.
She was never allowed in my house or near my children again. I would literally cross the street and walk on the other side if I saw her coming.
30. Why Would You Even Open My Wine?
Drank a bottle of very important/sentimental wine that we had been saving for an important occasion. I could not believe it. Who does that? Who stays at someone's house and opens up a bottle of wine without asking? He made a big stink about it - how sorry and how apologetic he was about it and how he was already making phone calls to replace it. Fast forward 6 months and I still have not received that replacement bottle.
29. Get Out, Shamwow Plague
He brought an ashtray from the smoking room into the living room, when I specifically told him not to. Then proceeded to spill the ashtray onto my white shag area rug while I was in the bathroom. When I returned, I witnessed him attempting to clean the rug with a Shamwow, using the "punching" technique. I said "What the f*ck, man? I told you not to smoke in here, and the Shamwow only works on things that are wet." (This was when the Shamwow first came out.) So, I go to retrieve the vacuum, and that's when I walk in on him wetting the ashes with a cup of water, because the Shamwow only works on things that are wet. Kicked his ass out, and that spot on my rug was slightly grey until the day I threw it out. F*ck you, Mike.
28. Not Sure Which Is Most Offensive
Back before I had a dog, we had a small apartment and a cat. My cat was never around dogs, she was indoor and outdoor, but none of the neighbors had dogs either. So my friends girlfriend comes over one day, she had been to our place many times before, but this time she brought her dog. I walked out of my bedroom to see a flash of fur (my cat) trying to climb the doorway three times before giving up, running into the room and not coming out for two days. I had to move the litter box and her food in there because she wouldn't come out. I get that pets are our babies, but at least ask.
She also used my tweezers to pluck her eye brows.
27. Not Your Ash Tray
I let my brother stay on my couch when he was evicted from his home. I told him no Smoking. One day I decide to open the windows in the living room which were just behind the couch and I find a bunch of cigarette butts, Burn marks in the wood on the windowsill from were he would put out the butts and one really long burn where a cigarette was set on the windowsill and he must of fallen asleep or forgot about it and it burned down and out on its own. The butt was still sitting there at the end of the burn mark and the ashes from the cigarette were still in place.
26. Pie Plate
My roommates and I lived in a basement suite in a house during our second year of university, with the landlord upstairs.
The landlord was the chillest landlord who ever existed and was fine with us throwing parties every weekend pretty much. She had rented to a group of musicians for years before us and was accustomed to the noise.
One time she came down the set of stairs connecting the upper and lower suites to drop off some mail. The door in our basement is normally locked from the outside so we can't go upstairs through it but she must have forgotten to lock it back up on her way out.
Later that night we noticed that one of our friends, John, had disappeared. His shoes were still by the door so we assumed he had walked outside barefoot. We didn't really make much of it because he suddenly appeared back half an hour later.
The next day the landlord comes down and says that we had an "escapee" last night. We were all confused for a moment but then it all clicks for us at the same time, JOHN!
She recounted the story of what happened to us. Turns out John had been feeling adventurous and without realizing what he was doing, opened the door to the upstairs and walked up. He made his way to the fridge, opened it and started eating handfuls of pie straight from the tin.
Not only was she cool enough to not immediately call the police or put an end to our party, she started talking to him. She asked him how old he was. "19" (we are Canadian so we are legal to drink). She follows up with "how long have you been 19?" Thinking it was his birthday which would explain the excessive drunkenness. His answer to that was "I've been 19 for 2 years. I'm from Campbell River (a small town in BC), where time moves incredibly slowly."
After her laughing at his joke and finishing his handful of life she escorted him back downstairs like nothing had ever happened.
25. Just Left It There
Back in my bachelor days my buddy and I decided to hit the nightlife in some bars in Austin. I was never a big drinker and had a few beers over the course of the evening. He was drinking vodka all night like it was water. Needless to say he was in no condition to drive across town to his place so I told him he could just crash at mine.
Sunday morning and I'm getting ready for church. Knock on the door and ask if he's OK. Told him he could sleep in while I'm gone if he wants to but he just says he's got to get going and quickly leaves. Get back from church a few hours later and the entire apartment smells like shit. Sniff out the source in the guest bed. Evidently the f*cker had woken up during the middle of the night and evacuated a beagle-sized turd into my sheets, rolled them up and then continued sleeping the rest of the night in the same bed he had befouled.
The real WTF -other than sleeping all night next to a rolled up sheet with your own monstrous deuce in it - is that he could have just stayed after I left, cleaned up and I would have probably never known. F*ck you, Warren.
24. Terrible Things
This happened to my friend. She has a koi pond in her backyard that her and her husband built themselves. It's a nice little pond in the ground with rocks and a waterfall. They also have a couple of cats.
They go out of town for a couple weeks and one of her work friends takes care of her house. A few days in this work friend comes over and dumps the entire bag of cat food onto the kitchen floor. Then she decided that the water in the koi pond looked a bit low, so they turn on the hose to top it off. Only they "forget" to turn the hose off when they leave. She never comes back to the house to check on anything.
A couple days later, the neighbor notices that their backyard is flooded and that there's koi swimming around in the yard. They turn off the water and try to catch the koi but are not successful. The koi end up dying or getting away.
Luckily the cats inside were ok. The neighbor calls my friend to tell her what happened.
Let's just say that my friend is not friends with her co-worker anymore.
22. Not The Weight
Happened to us the year after my grandmother passed. I agreed to cook Christmas dinner the first year of her passing, we have a large family and it was a lot to live up to - the woman was a hero at Christmas. We do the starter and dessert in "waves" because there are so many people. Everyone has to bring a chair so we can all sit down together (albeit a bit squashed) for dinner.
My aunt asked if she could invite her sister in law that year, as she was alone on Christmas. After checking it was okay with everyone else, they were welcome to attend. In the end they brought their family of six and each adult child (4) brought their partner. To 'chip in' they brought a small casserole to contribute.
21. My Stuffed Bunny
When I was about 4 I got a stuffed rabbit wearing pajamas from a family friend of ours. We lived in a house that was over a hundred years old, and my parents found the original family who lived there (or rather, their descendants) and we became fast friends. We called her Aunt Janie, even though she wasn't related.
So Aunt Janie sent me the rabbit in pajamas, and I took him everywhere. It took serious work for me not to take him to school. His fur was white as snow, so I named him Sugar.
Sugar was my bro. I told him everything, which as a military kid who moved every year and never got to make serious friends, ended up being quite a bit. Sugar and I loved watching the fish tank my mom had got me, I would just put my rocking chair up right in front of the tank and it was better than TV to me.
So we moved to the arm pit of the US, a little town called Altus, Oklahoma. There was a girl next door who didn't seem very nice, but she had a trampoline, so I was willing to deal with it, on the hopes of getting those sweet, sweet jumpy jumps.
She came over to our house first, just as a "getting to know you" first introduction, and Sugar was pulling recon with me. She asked if she could see my rabbit, and I thought hard: Could I trust her? Should I do it so we could be friends and jump on the trampoline? I decided it couldn't hurt, after all, we were on me and Sug's home turf.
I no sooner handed her my best friend than she snatched him away, tore off both of his arms and ripped him from stem to stern.
It was a long time in my life before I knew pain like that again.
Fortunately, I had a first class trauma surgeon in my family, and Dr. Mom spent a solid 30 minutes in the operating suite (or dining room table, your call) fixing my boy up.
Sugar is still my point man for life.
20. Terrible Things
I had a contractor build my deck many years ago. He brought his wife and children on the last two days of work, his wife sat in the car and his kids hung out in our unfinished muddy backyard. Then he asked if his little girls could play IN my house because the yard was messy. I was at work but said yes go ahead and let them inside. His wife fixed lunch and dinner in there and they made themselves at home. When the deck was done, he overcharged me because he said I had too much money and he needed to support his wife and children. It turns out he thought if the family was there I wouldn't discuss financial issues with him. I did discuss the overcharge, paid him what we agreed upon, not the extra amount. As a thank you for hiring him he accused me of being a selfish greedy person. Sigh.
My husband's uncle's wife died. They were married for thirty years, total sweethearts, and he was devastated. Aunt Dot was wonderful, everyone loved her. He couldn't cope being alone so he put an ad out on match.com and the first woman to reply, he married. She is the definition of white trash. He brought her to our house to stay for a long weekend to help us put in a deck in our backyard and so we could meet her. She decided to buy a puppy on the drive over, which wasn't potty trained.
It was a Pomeranian and I thought it was full grown and house broken. I'm at work when they arrive. I come home to piss puddles all over my living room, with her sitting on my couch on a new laptop he bought her. She wasn't watching her puppy, just letting it roam. I was in the kitchen at first and didn't see what her puppy has done. Within five minutes, she told me how Aunt Dot's adult children were terrible and trying to take his money, that they didn't approve of her and on and on. Then I saw the dog. I have two dogs myself but she had locked them outside. Needless to say, their weekend was cut short and left early.
My partner's friend was staying with us and brought his large dog. One night his dog tore up one of the beds pillows. Instead of letting us know, he just stuffed the pillow and feathers into the pillow case to hide it. He left the next day and I went to wash the sheets. I pulled the pillow out of the case and completely covered the room in feathers. It was 3 months ago and I am still finding feathers floating around.
We give him a lot of grief for it.
I was just reminded about what happen a month later, involving the same guest, 'Kevin.'
So Kevin comes back to stay with us for their fantasy draft. All the guys in the league are in town to draft and party so we are hosting two guys, Kevin and we'll call the other guy 'Paul'. I have known both for years, we all went to college together, it's cool. Saturday is their big day to golf and draft but it was also a really big day for me. I had been running for a year (never exercised before) and had trained hard for 6 weeks to run a 15k that Saturday. So the run goes great, I'm lazy the rest of the day. Meanwhile the guys are golfing, drinking, gambling on golfing and drinking. They rush home to change and head to a specific wing place that has fantasy draft specials. I'm home when they come to change and meet another member of the league, 'Mic,' who has known Kevin since they were kids. He's pretty tipsy but we talk about running, he's been training for a full marathon that's in 2 weeks. So they leave and I go to bed before they come back.
17. Disgusting Humans
Had a "friend" staying with us for awhile. She was trying to get back on her feet. I had just adopted a new kitten, about 10 weeks old. One day, I am standing in the kitchen, talking with said 'friend' when I hear my new kitty meowing, loudly, but sounds kind of muffled. I proceed to start looking around for her. She sounded distressed. Said "friend" just stands there, with a kind of crooked smile. So, I asked her where the kitten was. She said she had no idea. The meows are getting less and less, and I am walking all over the place, waiting for the next meow to lead me to her.
She.Was.In.The.Freezer. WTF? I pretty much screamed at the psycho, upon retrieving my shivering, confused and miserable kitten, "WTF did you do???" She smiled and said, "I thought you knew, cats love to be cold!" I told her, well, that's just great, and since she claimed to love and understand cats so much, she will appreciate how cold she would be tonight...on the street....out of my house. I told her she had about 10 min to get her sh*t and get out or not only would she be getting an *ss kicking, I would be calling the police regarding her cruelty to animals. She left. Kitty survived to be 18 yrs old.
They all come home pretty dinged up which is totally fine. Turns out Mic is going to crash on the other couch, he definitely couldn't drive. My partner gets in the shower in our master bathroom that is only accessed through our master bedroom, super common. I'm exhausted bed and all the sudden someone busts through our door and into the bathroom, it's Mic. He starts vomiting chicken wings into to sink, not in the toilet next to it, into the f*cking sink. All the while my partner is yelling at him to move to the toilet. Side note; we do have another bathroom, that was closer to him and empty. Anyway, both Kevin and Paul rush to 'help' and try to shove to food down the bathroom drain, because you know, we have a garbage disposal in our bathroom...Finally they began scooping it out into a trash bag. I remained in bed with my back turned and pretended to be asleep.
After the chicken-sink fiasco, Mic settled down and passed out. My partner finally got into bed and apologized, had a little laugh began to fall asleep. Not even 60 seconds passed before the silence was broken with Mic screaming, "IM GOING TO SH*T MYSELF". Of course you are, Mic, of course you are. He was ushered to the proper bathroom, he used the toilet correctly to the best of our knowledge, crisis averted! Right?
Fast forward 15 minutes to us being woken up by a heated argument in our living room. Mic was at it again....this time choosing the laundry room as the ideal spot to vomit. Thankfully, he was redirected away from my washer and dryer I had just paid off and threw up in the bathroom. He was convinced he was being guest of the year by choosing the washing machine, instead of throwing up on the sheets. His argument was based off of fact water is connected to the washer, washer is connected to the sewer, so on and so forth. Mic, your logic is f*cking infallible. No one agreed for obvious reasons, but he is a lawyer and he put together a pretty convincing argument in person. Impressive.
After that argument, he was found sitting in our garage in the dark because he felt "unwelcome".. The next morning he left before anyone woke up and sent my partner a passive aggressive apology.
Thanks Kevin for inviting your friend to crash with us.
16. The Fight
My mother was in the middle of her fight with cancer - she had been flown overseas a few times, was in the middle of chemo and radiation, all while trying to work and take care of my elderly grandmother. She is one of the kindest and most compassionate people in our community so everyone was rightfully really concerned about her and her well being.
Except for her uncle - who came to the house frequently just to complain about his nonexistent medical 'issues' without asking ONCE how she was doing. Even on days when she was laying in a darkened bedroom shivering on a summer day and couldn't come out to greet him because she felt so poorly - he''d still sit in our living room and loudly whine about how his Dr told him he'd have to change his diet for his blood pressure. She is the one who patiently listened and sympathised with his bullshit the most but did he return a pixel of her compassion? Of course not.
My mom has been in remission for years now and it still fills me with fury what a selfish narcissistic idiot bastard he is. He's dead to me.
15. Iron Liver
One of my former D&D players emptied a few pocketfuls of dirt, sod, and mud into our bathtub and bathroom sink.
It caused an extremely slow drain for months while we tried to figure it out. And honestly, we still can't understand why he did it.
ALSO: We are recovering alcoholics, and he would leave half full handles of whiskey (good stuff, too) for "just in case y'all change your minds and wanna stop being pussies."
Then we have the friend who tried to convince my wife and I to swing. We are not into that scene at all, and there is a limited number of times you can tell me that you want to fuck my wife (that number is 1). And trying to get me too drunk to stop you is a bad call, because I had an iron liver at the time, and I will long outlast you.
14. Someone's Been Sleeping In My Bed
While my family was on a beach trip, we let our babysitters babysit the house and cats for one week. We trusted them, or so we thought we did. While my family was at this beach, the babysitters and her sisters (who were in high school at the time) held a party. They didn't clean up very well, so there was a cigarette burn on our living room carpet, blood on the bathroom wall, and our beds were not made properly. My dad went berserk and they ended up having to pay for all new locks to the house and a new carpet. They could've been f*cked harder, but I guess my dad decided against it. 2k in damage would make them learn their lesson. I remember my dad saying the worst part was knowing that he was pissed someone had the nerve to put out a cigarette butt on someone else's carpet. So yeah that's pretty damn disrespectful.
13. He Knows What He's Doing
I can't remember who it was, it was a family member. My son was around 2 and he was getting himself an apple or an orange. He'd get it off the counter, peel the sticker off, wash it, and proceed to peel it or just eat it. Well as he was washing his fruit, a guest goes to him and takes his fruit, and tells him he's too young to be getting his own food. I tell them I taught him how to get a snack and it's okay if he wants to eat some fruit. They insist that he should ask first and when he said please, they washed it and prepared the fruit for him.
To me that's disrespectful because I teach my son how to take care of himself and he gets so happy when he can do more things for himself, and they took that away from him and made him beg for something that was already his.
12. Task Management
Not my home, but we were having a "friendsgiving" at our friends apartment, who ill call H. Now, mind you, this lady had been cooking non-stop by herself a thanksgiving feast. Turkey, sides, some pies, everything. Girl had been working hard to make this awesome feast(which i might add was delicious). The one thing she didn't get to was stuffing, so she asked someone if they could bring stuffing. One guy volunteers the day before (he chose to do this, it's important to remember that) to bring stuffing. Come the time to eat, stuffing man isn't there. Foods all laid out wait to be eaten, but stuffing man is like 10 minutes late. Finally, we get a call saying he's picking up his stuffing and coming over. Great, we can wait a little more. He arrives and what does he have? A box of stuffing. Not made. He literally went to the store,and bought a box of stuffing, without having even made it. When we asked him what he was doing with the box, he said "Oh, H can just make it for us." At that point, we all wanted to give him some slaps to the face. H made the stuffing, but you could tell that it seriously pissed her off and I don't blame her.
Ever since that, we literally don't give him any task or duties in terms of organizing fun things. Anytime he asks why we don't trust him, we just tell him to stuff it.
11. Chris Chris Chris
Back in college my 4 friends and I rented a house and between the 5 of us we had enough friends to throw pretty big house parties, like 150-200 people that we all knew pretty well. So we trusted them and we would leave our rooms open if people wanted to chill in them. The first few parties went fine, until one of my roommates met this kid we'll call Chris. This f*cking kid. Of course the roommate that met him has the worst judge of character.
First, my friends in the line for the bathroom tell me they think there's funny business going on in there, so I start banging on the door. Chris walks out with a girl claiming he "can't concentrate" with my banging, so I tell him, "good, knock it off".
Then my roommate catches Chris heading into his room, which was empty, with a girl who was very clearly too drunk to make any decisions. So he kicked them out immediately and told Chris to get out of our house.
We thought he had left, but since my bed is hidden in my room and we didn't think he'd have the audacity to climb over all the shit I put in front of it to specifically block people from going to my bed, we didn't notice him there. So when we finally see that he's LYING in my bed, I tell him to get the f*ck off. In the process, he drunkenly spills an entire beer can on my pillows and mattress.
I have a weird tick about my specific sleeping habits, so I couldn't sleep for days. It took everything in me not to punch the sh*t out of this idiot.
10. This Is MY HOUSE
I'm a very easy going host. I'm the type to stay up til 4am trying to keep the conversation afloat because I never feel the need to tell people to leave. Essentially, friends can come and go as they please, eat, drink, smoke what they want, and be merry. Open door policy
One night my gf and I ordered pizza for us and we expected to be alone. A friend came over unexpected. That's fine.. I smoked him up (his idea) , we chilled out. He ate more than either of us, and didn't pitch. That's fine, random act of pizza, and as I said, open door policy as he's a friend.
Then when I went to get a final slice, he immediately laid out across the couch, put his feet where I had just sat and told me I should 'sit up when I eat' and told me to sit elsewhere.
What started as me politely asking him to let me sit and eat and ended with me telling him to fuck off and that I'll sit wherever I damn please in my house.
He told me I was being rude and refused to move.
I told him if he didn't move, I was going to become significantly more rude.
He didn't move.
We don't hang out much anymore.
Last i heard from he messaged me out of the blue to try and buy weed off of me. Just an all around stand up guy.
9. Saving A Girl
Not at my house, but me and a few friends had went to this really large party in high school. There was this young girl (probably only 15 y/o) that one of my friends' younger sisters said they were a total b*tch in school, so we initially avoided her. Fast forward a few hours later, we find her slumped in a corner on the ground with two creepy dudes looking way too old to be at a high school party talking to her in a disgusting manner.
Staying true to girl code, I didn't care at this point who she was - no one deserves this while inebriated. We have one of our guy friends shove them off her and we get her up to take her home. She was very drunk and I think someone or herself had given her something to make her sluggish(?). I'm unsure, but it was definitely not just her being drunk, her eyes were very dilated too and she couldn't stand well. We call it a night, find her older sister's number in her phone and drop her off at her house. We explained the situation and the sister thanked us. A few days later, she herself also thanked us and now she is one of our good friends.
8. UK Problems
When I was about 13, a guy from school joined the same cricket club as me in my village (despite living nowhere near), so my mum would pick us both us from school, feed us at home then we would walk up to the club.
Whilst playing football in the garden before training started, he accidentally kicked the ball over the fence in to my elderly neighbours garden. I asked him to be careful as they often spent time in the garden and had asked us to be careful with balls many times before.
He decided to get every ball in my garden and kick or throw them over the fence (including rock hard cricket and hockey balls) , one by one until there were none left while saying nothing, just staring at me. Still irritates me to this day.
7. The Single Worst Guest
He walked past me doing work on an outlet and turned the breaker back on cause it was dark. Shocked me. (Told him the breaker is off don't touch it.) I now use lockout/tagout in my house.
He did laundry while i was working on the drain piping under the house. Drenched me with laundry water. (Told him not to use any water, he didn't know the laundry machine used water.)
He locked the door every time he went through it. One time he locked everyone out when we were having a party in the back yard.
He put his foot through the wall while playing his computer game because the wall felt funny.
He leaned on the soap holder tile, 5 minutes after we retiled the bathroom, knocking it off and chipping the glazing on the bathtub.
He turned the AC off cause he was cold then left the house on a 95 degree day.
He locked the front door but didn't close it on a 95 degree day. Let the dog out, took hours to find her.
6. The Moves Bro
Probably late for this, but its just too good of a story to pass on. Also not sure it counts as disrespectful, but here it goes.
When I was 18 or so, I awoke one Sunday morning just in time for lunch and I heard voices from the living room, which suggested we were having guests over for lunch. No biggie, I'll just go glare at my plate and try not to vomit the shots from last night, apologize and head to my room!
Boy was I in for a treat. The guest, as it turned out, was a son of a family friend I never knew we had. A judge my parents knew. His son was a bodybuilder, his body chiseled from bronze head to toe. To boot, I'd put his IQ just a tad over "solid f*cking zero". I am just so hungover and trying to snap out of this madness that I forget not to laugh when he starts recounting the importance of his bodybuilding achievements for the greater community, because "the world will know that us [nationality] are the strongest in all of [continent]". The rest of the table is dead silent. Mind you, none of us have ANY interest in any of this. We take hospitality pretty seriously where I'm from so no one is making a fuss out of this.
A couple of minutes pass, he tells (not asks!) my grandma to go make him an omelette because lunch didn't exactly cover his macros for the meal. More out of confusion than hospitality, she proceeds to make him his damn omelette. He wolfs it down within a minute and we proceed to sit on the terrace and try to move on to more normal topics.
He's stealing the show. Also, he steals my laptop (literally walked into my room, took it, and brought it to the terrace) and puts on a deep house mix, to the amazement of my grandma and parents. You could hear a pin drop, and you could also see him bobbing his head to the rhythm. We are beyond confused at this point.
But then comes the coup de grace. After babbling on for hours, he excuses himself, walks 3 meters over to the lawn, takes off his shirt AND STARTS DOING PUSHUPS. Bam. Right there. No one is talking, the most awkward silence in history only interrupted by his "UHM"s and "AHH"s. The guy is loud.
He left a couple of hours later, and got arrested on drug charges the following year. I'd like to think he is still in the correctional system somewhere, warning his fellow inmates of the importance of bodybuilding.
Smoked $30 worth of my excellent marijuana in 2.5 hours, alone while i finished work...then said we could "switch to mine"...that...was mine?! How was she still walking and talking?!
Slept in the living room til 3pm. Complained about my dog, and pouted and got all "ugh whatever never mind" when it became apparent that she likes milk, not cream in her coffee (I offered to go get milk but noooo it was "fine"). But my final straw was realizing she's one of those people who doesn't understand shower curtains, and thus flooded the bathroom each morning.
She hasn't been back. Somehow I just never have the space.
4. Keep Away
Been a couple, both recent, both with people I used to know but haven't met in years.
One guy was here at a party and tried hitting on a girl. It didn't work. A while later he sees me talking to her, figures it's my fault, and decides to punch me in the stomach.
Another one arrived at a party unannounced, high on meth, foaming at the mouth, with fresh blood on his jacket. Things were going fine until someone questioned him about who's blood it was, and he proudly said he beat someone up over a stolen phone and left them in a ditch. After trying for a long time to make him tell us where this was he got agitated. Luckily three pretty burly guys who were there offered to help him leave.
Neither of them are welcome back.
3. Boundaries, Friends!
Couple neighbors of mine. This was July 4th last year and my family really loves fireworks, as it kinda brings us all together which is something that doesn't happen often due to our schedules.
Anyway, we invite our neighbors over to enjoy the show and just hang out with us on our lawn. The father of their family literally walks inside our house, goes to our fridge and cracks open a beer without so much as asking, (fyi, the drinks for the neighborhood were in a cooler outside and everyone was aware of this), and then proceeds to recline on our couch and turn on a movie.
His wife and kids tried to take over lighting all the fireworks, which is my job that I hold pretty dear. At that point, we just politely asked them to leave, seeing how they overstepped their boundaries pretty hard. The reaction was calling us ungrateful *sshats that don't know how to party. They don't come around often anymore.
2. A Drunk Arrival
About two years ago, I threw a Christmas party with a few of my friends from college. One of them arrived late, and brought her new boyfriend along so we could all meet him. The thing is that they'd been drinking beforehand, and the guy was completely drunk. He was so loud, and so obnoxious, that within a few minutes some of my earlier guests wanted to leave.
When I brought some of the guests out, I saw that my friend's drunk boyfriend had done a terrible job parking his car. Not only was it blocking my gate, but it was also parked on the sidewalk. I came back in, pretty ticked off, and then I saw that the guy was already asleep on my couch. He. Was. That. Wasted. I tried getting my friend (his girlfriend) to wake him up, but she just shrugged me off and said, "He's not getting up now."
I'm truly angry at this point, but it was the holidays, and it didn't seem like a fight worth having, so I just let them be on the couch while I entertained my other guests. Hours later, after almost everyone had left, I tell my friend that it's time to wake up her boyfriend and go. I walk them out, happy to be almost rid of them. But then. The guy's car won't start. He was at it for maybe 15 minutes--turned the key, checked under the hood, everything, but the car just would not start. Somehow, without my permission, my friend tells her boyfriend that the two of them just crash on my couch. At that point I'm just so done with them that I don't even put up a fight. Because all this happened at around 3am, during a rainy night in December, and the three of us spent the next 45 minutes pushing this guy's pick up off the sidewalk and into an acceptable parking position.
My friend and that guy are still together, and I don't host Christmas parties anymore.
1. Our Worst Nightmare, Honestly
Late to the party- gf's best friend said her and her dad were having fight over how she was parenting her 3 year old and asked to stay on my gf's couch for "just a couple days until things get better" which turned into just over 2 weeks. About a week after the friend left, my gf and her kids start getting these strange welts on their legs and back.
My gf ran into her friend's dad at work and he thanked her for helping out while the house got "treated." He said he didn't want his grandson playing in the house because he didn't know how safe it actually was for a toddler. My gf said "oh yeah. No problem. I forgot- What was it treated for again?" And he said "bedbugs."
It clicked why they had the welts and she left for break and called me.
That evening, my gf and I started looking around the couch and found a bunch of small bedbugs. We went through the bag of kid's clothes the friend left- found bugs in it.
My gf called the friend and said she was cleaning and asked her to come over to get the rest of her things. We confronted the friend when she showed up and the friend said she didn't think it was a big deal because she didn't see any on her or her son when they left to come stay (wtf).
I was furious and after huge fight with the friend, she's helping pay for the treatments at my gf's place.
Well that was a close call. That is everyone's main life mantra. If you really think about it, you'll know it to be true. Everyday we live, is another day we've survived, and death isn't the only thing we frequently sidestep. I have lost track of the amount of times my heart has almost gotten me into trouble. If I had been able to be with the people I thought I wanted in the past, I'd be in a mental ward right about now. Dodging a bullet doesn't even begin to cover it.Redditor u/Not-an-Ocelot wanted to hear about the times that have made people give some extra thanks by asking... What's the biggest bullet you've ever dodged?
Pay Attention<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDQyNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MTEyMDI3OH0.BmVGAHwjbS_vMDkx2jetH_zBsPpphZ3tZp5VJjeyhD4/img.gif?width=980" id="0dcaa" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0ab54e83bfb77d5fefdb176242259411" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="275" />joe jonas relief GIFGiphy<p>I was a teen driver not paying attention at an intersection at the crest of a hill with low visibility when the light turned green. </p>
A Passed Mandate<p>This one just materialized yesterday, actually.</p><p>About a year ago at my job I was offered to switch from my current team where I was established for a few years, had seniority, etc. for a new department that just started to kick it off, write processes, basically start from square 1. A lot more work for the same amount of pay. I figured forget it and went.<span></span></p>
Too Many Idiots<p>I took my wife to an indoor shooting range in 2014. I had been at this range many times, and safety was always their top priority. They made you sit through a safety video, take a quiz, and get a temporary certification before they allowed you onto the range.</p><ul><li>Place got really busy and their safety policy became less stringent as time went on.</li><li>I noticed that the lane next to us had 3 people in it (already a violation).</li><li>Two big guys and one tiny woman probably her in 20's. They were handing her various firearms and laughing when she couldn't handle the recoil (big violation there, and incredibly irresponsible).</li><li>This girl was muzzle-sweeping everyone (another huge violation)</li><li>I got a bad feeling, told my wife to pack it up because we were leaving</li><li>As soon as we started walking away, BANG, that girl had fired a round right where my wife was standing just a few seconds prior</li><li>I told the range officers that they needed to get in there and do something about those idiots, and that we weren't coming back</li></ul><p>I have only been to a range a few times since that happened, and now I don't even go at all. Too many idiots. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohqu3v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> A_Garbage_Account</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/A_Garbage_Account/" target="_blank"></a></p>
buzz CRACK buzz...<p>I was out kayaking on a lake and several bullets whizzed by me. There was a distinct <em>buzz CRACK buzz</em> sound as it went by. I think some people were just out plinking in their back yard, adjacent to the lake, and didn't think a backstop was necessary. This also happened to me a few weeks later when I was paddling on a small stream. Bullets whizzed by above the bank, just over my head. <span></span></p>
Flight 103<p>I was booked on Pan Am flight 103 which went down over Locherbie Scotland. I didn't have a premonition or anything supernatural. I just decided to cancel my seat. Didn't think anything of it until the plane went down and my mother had written down my flight plan and reminded me. This was back in the day when you could cancel without a penalty up to a couple of days in advance.</p><p><strong><em>EDIT: </em></strong>You Know, when I posted my response I didn't realize how many comments I would get that involved people who were impacted by this sad event. <span></span></p>
Zapped<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDQ0MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NDY0MjY1MX0.Dj7w7DePtmC1CgiaJwmNIifD129RWS3T3j5acsHBIiU/img.gif?width=980" id="d6220" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b7cea1508bfde66080975250c5e9dcf1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="266" />Season 4 Zap GIF by Rick and MortyGiphy<p>I was subletting an apartment in college and got zapped by the electric stove. Gave notice immediately and moved out with very clear reasons why I was moving out. The building burnt a few weeks later. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/goi3ew7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sadandshy</a></p>
Katrina<p>2005, my friend and I evacuated New Orleans 2 days before Hurricane Katrina and drove to Mississippi with the little money we had. We were trying to decided on where to stay for the night and it was between a mid range hotel or the really cheap motel. Decided to spend a little more for the hotel. During the night the eye of the storm came through Mississippi and flattened the roof of the motel we decided against. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohyomx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">kylexy929</a></p>
Delete Tinder<p>I matched with a guy on Tinder who played for the Atlanta Falcons. He was really charming and seemed nice. He asked me to fly down to Atlantic City for Memorial Day weekend, said he would pay for everything (airfare, hotel, food, etc.) but I had never met him before and he refused to give me his phone number. I was uncomfortable flying to meet a stranger so I told him no. Two weeks later he was on the news for kicking (and killing) his girlfriend's dog. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohwwcf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coldestjeans67</a></p>
A Yamaha Pancake<p>Physically? A bus. I grew up in Bermuda, and since it is such a small island cars are limited to one per family, and everyone drives mopeds. I was driving into town, and came up to a red light behind a bus. As is tradition, I scooted around the bus to be in the front of the line of traffic. Literally 2 seconds later a second bus smashed into the back of the first bus at like 30 mph.</p>
D-I-V-O-R-C-E<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDM0Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNTg5MDA0M30.mkwHiDROST0_hPO3i_EgY_PCWrX60u9MZ-c4FzHjZz0/img.gif?width=980" id="aa6ce" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="99ab09a1baf770607fa2d8286e6a574b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="281" />phaedra parks bye felicia GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy<p>My ex.</p><p>He got engaged right after me and proceeded to cheat on her the entire time until she broke up with him. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohy29x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlamEv</a></p>
When your time is up, your time is up. And when we march off into the afterlife it feels like everyone wants one of two or two things. People want to go out in a blaze of glory and/or in peace and without pain. I don't know if both is possible but I'll choose option two please. What I know for sure is I definitely don't want to be smoted by a stupid death. Like, Lord, please don't let me die choking on fried chicken and an XL frozen Appletini at the Dallas BBQ because I was laughing to hard at my own jokes. Please.Redditor u/BlueD_ wanted everyone to fess up about the times they almost met their maker in a less than dignified manner by asking... What's the dumbest way you almost died?
Torn...<p>Hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while I was operating it.</p><p>Shirt tore but it threw me a meter onto track just behind it. I crawled off in time before it came back around. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktz0m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GottaGoSmash</a></p>
The Lump<p>Born with a lump in my throat that was blocking my airway. It was so bad that I was turning purple from air loss by 3 months old, but the doctors kept telling my mom they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally was rushed to children's hospital where they did emergency laser surgery to remove the lump. Almost died to complete incompetence, thankfully the people at children's were much more capable. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktt1d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Leroy_Spankinz</a></p>
So Wrong...<p>I was playing at some church camp as a teenager. They had us running around in the dark.</p><p>Well, they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and I ran into it at neck height.</p><p>You know in cartoons when someone runs into something and their feet fly up even with their body and they fall down? I'm pretty sure that happened to me.</p>
the baby....<p>I was born super premature and would apparently never stop crying and every doctor was just like "she's a baby, she's crying just because" until my parents took me to the children's hospital and then a doctor was like "yeah, she's dying. Surgery now." I was born with a double hernia. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnm5xj4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> vampyreprincess</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/vampyreprincess/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p>
Just Walk<p>Almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because I was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway. Someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards.</p><p>Don't run in abandoned buildings. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnl26xv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coldnymph</a></p>
Evil Mango<p>When I was 19, I ate a mango and it was a large piece and it got stuck in my throat. I started to choke. I found it hard to breathe and couldn't talk. My brother did the heimlich manuever on me and the mango came out. I laughed about it a minute later because imagine "defeated by mango" written as your reason for death. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkx7o3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Spiderman230</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Spiderman230/" target="_blank"></a></p>
The Day is Out<p>Using a pickaxe while tired. Was using the flat end to break up dirt. It got stuck. I yanked it, causing my feet to slip on the dirt while I basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end. My arms shot out and I landed in a push up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest.</p><p>I called it a day after that. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlkzi1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ProbablyYourButt</a></p>
Do Vodka<p>I was very sad and drank lots and lots of rum. I woke up covered in vomit all over my bed, I had probably vomited multiple times in my sleep. I was alone.</p><p>I could have choked on my spew and died.</p><p>I avoid rum now. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlcg7n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">writingwithmovement</a></p>
NEVER!<p>I felt incredible pain in my abdomen and laid in bed a week hoping it would go away. By the time I asked to go to the hospital I was in Sepsis. I was out of my head in pain, couldn't eat, high fever, etc.</p><p>Apparently I had a bout with diverticulitis. I had no idea what that was. Mine perforated and my white blood cell count was insane. The perforation was pouring toxins into my body cavity. They didn't do surgery, they only ran a tube down in my back to drain the 'death sludge' from my body. My kidneys and my bladder were trying to shut down. I'll never forget that pain for as long as I live.<span></span></p>
In the Shallow...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4MDY0OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MDAxOTk3Mn0.UFH9fBx9qg1viY44abzSICqYdsMRrU2ep9zMiWwgRIc/img.gif?width=980" id="c2bd9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5ea60e1b2ffcfafbe156c7564d4eccb5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Lady Gaga Oscars GIF by SkyGiphy<p>Played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim, father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child i was i immediately went in further and sank just as quick. luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard, so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out.</p><p>the next day my parents bought me floaties. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkvz1j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArnoNyhm44</a></p>
We may not know it, but sometimes things that seem routine or are just one of our personal habits can really hold back our lives.
One little change to cut those things, or to include new things, can really change the quality of our lives for the better. We have to be willing to drop old routines, which is hard and scary; and we need to be willing to accept new ideas into our space, which is also hard and scary.
New Body Parts<p>The kidney transplant I just received on Monday (Feb 15, 2021).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/wanderingwiccan/" target="_blank">wanderingwiccan</a></p><p>It's amazing isn't it? Going on 17 years with mine and couldn't agree more. I'll never forget how miserable I was when my kidneys were failing and I started dialysis. </p><p>Those memories serve as added motivation to keep healthy now. Life is good. Best wishes to you moving forward!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/realTurdFergusun/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">realTurdFergusun</a></p>
Out Vs. In<p>Giving up on trying to cure being a introvert and just being happy</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RedditerAbc123/" target="_blank">RedditerAbc123</a></p><p>Introverts have just as much fun there are just fewer witnesses</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/minisis85/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">minisis85</a></p><p>Accepting yourself is truly liberating.</p><p>There's one important aspect of being an introvert or extrovert. As an introvert, you recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being around people.</p><p>I occasionally enjoy being around people, and I'm good at being social. I even perform music in public. However, when I'm done with all that, I go home and have to unwind. If I go long periods of time without enough alone time, I start getting progressively more irritated and frustrated.</p><p>I actually feel happy and at peace when I'm alone. Other people will tell me they feel lonely, or like their apartment feels empty. For me it's a direct source of happiness, this isolation and peace. I don't want a family, a partner or even pets. I don't even like hearing neighbors around. Solitude is freedom.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sunsetdive/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sunsetdive</a></p>
Git That Mental Health<p>I did therapy for around three years, and I recommend it to folks to try at least once in their life. It can take a little time, as a lot of it comes down to having the right therapist who can get through to you, (advice: if you need to switch to a diff. Therapist or, at any time want to simply take a week or two off, during the process- voice that to your therapist.)</p><p>Wishing you all the best on your journey, there were times I'd second guess myself if it was "working" right away, but trust the process, you'll take a lot from the experience & learn a ton about yourself!</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Puzzleheaded_Stress7/" target="_blank">Puzzleheaded_Stress7</a></p>
I Am Not Everybody's Parent<p>I stopped caring so much.</p><p>For as long as I remember I've felt a burden of responsibility to my parents, my brother, to myself. Throughout my whole life my parents have relied on me to be the voice of reason, to be the one who has sound mind, to be the one good with finances, to give them advice. It's not healthy for a kid to be put under that kind of pressure, and it just built and built until they filed for bankruptcy in 2017, and when I burned out at work last year.</p><p>I went to therapy for a bit (for the 3rd time lol) after I burned out and realized that I'm putting up such a high bar of responsibility for myself and it makes, and made, my life ridiculously miserable.</p><p>I'm still working and going to school, but having a more relaxed attitude and almost forcing myself to procrastinate on my schoolwork has made my life so much more enjoyable.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CozysMyName/" target="_blank">CozysMyName</a></p>
The Superpower Of Sobriety<p>Quitting alcohol. My life has completely changed in only the best ways. Most notably Ive accomplished all of my dreams.</p><p> I went back to school and earned my bachelor's, found the love of my life and got married, lost a bunch of weight and somehow look like I've aged backwards. Now my only problem is coming up with new dreams.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Billlliejean/" target="_blank">Billlliejean</a></p>
A Career Separate From Hostile Energy<p>For years I was convinced I chose the wrong career, and I was getting extreme anxiety, had to pull the car over a couple times going to work because of panic attacks. </p><p>Lockdown happens a year ago and all my stress disappeared and I realized I love my career, I just HATE office living and commuting. My biggest fear is the pandemic ending and being forced back into that terrible office culture.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/feral_philosopher/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">feral_philosopher</a></p>
Just Space To Remember<p>I've found that journaling helps me remember stuff a lot better. Also, on bad days, I get the catharsis of ranting without having to subject one of my friends to it. </p><p>I can also look back on past events and maybe figure out how I can do things differently or just reminisce. </p><p>Getting my feelings on paper or even a word document helps me deal with things, somehow. I stopped when things got real around last March since writing "I didn't do much today" every day was getting old.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Soulfire1123/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Soulfire1123</a></p>
Just A Better Life<p>My biological mother is an abusive drug addicted, alcoholic who put everything, including her other daughter, above her youngest child. </p><p>When i was 11, child services placed me with my Dad and his partner (my Mum, for all purposes of the word except birthing.) </p><p>In Australia, previously I was in N.Z. Its been a bumpy road, but I'm now 19, living out of home, have my license, own car, stable job and am studying at uni. I couldn't have done it without my parents, and i have the loving, caring, supportive Mum I craved as a child.</p><p>There was ten minutes where i didnt know if i was going into foster care or with my Dad, and it was the scariest ten minutes of my life, but ultimately that decision was the best thing that happened to me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/lildee_19/" target="_blank">lildee_19</a></p>
Physical = Mental<p>Losing a significant amount of weight. My overall health is so much better. I sleep like the dead every night, when before I suffered badly from insomnia. </p><p>My blood pressure has come down to normal levels. I'm no longer pre-diabetic. I have cut back on the amount of medication I have to take, which obviously means I have money to spend that I didn't before. </p><p>I love exercising, even when I was morbidly obese, I enjoyed walking. Now I enjoy walking and I can walk so much further and faster than I could before. Another thing is the major change in my mental health. I was in a very dark space, and I realized the other day how much more positive my outlook in life has become.</p><p>10/10 reccomend. My journey has been slow, but it has been so worth it!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Smart-Connection6154/" target="_blank">Smart-Connection6154</a></p>
A Partnership For The Ages<p>Finally telling my best friend that I was in love with them. We've been dating for two years now and every moment is like living in a dream. They're sitting next to me right now cluelessly singing out loud with headphones in and I'm OBSESSED.</p><p>Also, Covid has allowed me to drive around the country while working remotely and actually do a lot of the hikes that have always been on my bucket list. It really changed my life by reaffirming my long term goals (stay healthy, get outdoors when I can).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sodapuppy/" target="_blank">sodapuppy</a></p>
The photographers, DJs, officiates, and planners of the wedding industry hold a unique perspective.
They get to witness the lead-up to the couple's important, deeply symbolic day. Sitting at the table in that context offers those industry professionals a glimpse of the mundane dynamics of couples before the big event.