In my family we have something of a mantra: "If you're going to be dumb, you gotta be tough." It's the kind of thing that you wish you didn't have to say, but kids (and teenagers and my brother) have a way of just bringing it out of you.
There have been shenanigans aplenty from all of us. Some of you who follow my work may know about my Indiana Jones facial scar. My brother once knocked himself unconscious because he was convinced he could emulate a scene from Moral Kombat. (Spoiler Alert: He could not.) Grandma burned down the kitchen cooking fish. My sister knocked herself out doing choreography in the shower. Let's just say we're a family full of "tough" people.
Reddit user m0na-l1sa asked:
What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?
Yeah ... there are a lot of "tough" folks in these comments. Kick back (cautiously, please) and enjoy the disasters.
Nailed It!
I once tested out a jammed nail gun on the palm of my hand. It was no longer jammed.
Happy Birthday
GiphyFinally gathered the courage to tell my high school girlfriend that we weren't working and that I wanted to break up...
...via a phone call...
...while forgetting that that particular day was her birthday...
Sophomore year was a ton of fun.
Calm Down, Tony Hawk
When I was 19 my friends and I used to go driving around in my Jeep Wrangler.
One day we decided to skateboard behind it while holding an extension cord. Think similarly to how people water ski behind a boat.
On our first attempt I decided to be the guinea pig since it was my idea.
Things started off fine so they sped up to like 15 or maybe 20 mph.
I decided it was too fast so I jumped off the board and started running while I dropped the cord on the ground.
By some freakish miracle the cord wrapped around my leg and started dragging me.
I was dragged for probably a good 100 feet before they were able to get the driver to stop.
My underwear got melted to my skin and I had to peel it off which was one of the most painful things that's ever happened to me.
I couldn't sleep on my back for a couple weeks.
Road Trip!
A week after getting my license, I decided to take a spontaneous road trip 300 miles to visit a pen pal in the next state over I had never met before.
The stupid part is I told no one I was going - namely my parents because I knew they'd freak - and when I was there, my car spun out while driving and I popped a couple tires.
Well, I got 1 replaced, and the other full of fix-a-flat.
Then my geniusself remembered I had to work the next day, so I decided 'let's see how fast my Civic can go. Maxed the speedometer at 125 for 2 minutes non-stop at one point. With fix-a-flat.
Oh and I totally got lost and didn't make it to work on time and meeting my pen pal wasn't even worth it. It was a time in my life where a lot of relationships I formed then faded into obscurity.
How I managed to make it home, let alone not getting pulled over, is still a mystery to me.
- ZiggoCiP
Revolver
Stole money from a meth head. Then told him about it. Easy way to get a revolver in your face if you're into that sort of thing. To clarify, I was not on meth. Wasn't under the influence at all. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
- nagathenaga
Window Pun
I punched a window out of anger and severed my median nerve causing like 75% paralysis of my right hand and thumb.
I guess that's why they call it window pane.
Old Enough To Know Better
Microwaved my cordless phone to dry it off after dropping it in my toilet. I was in my early 20's.
- Tunafun
Comet
GiphyWhen I was little I ate Comet (the cleaning chemical) because I thought it was mozzarella cheese. I sprinkled it on my pizza and after the first bite quickly realized it wasn't cheese. For those that don't know. Comet is bleach that comes in a green bottle. To my young brain it looked exactly like the mozzarella cheese you would dazzle on a slice of pizza, that would also come in a green bottle. I think I grew up fine since then.
You didn't. Because all this time, you thought it was mozzarella cheese. It's Parmesan cheese in the green can.
OH SONOFA B-
Zucchini Bread
Got really high while home alone and decided to eat my girlfriend's zucchini bread. Basically my high brain only sent a single chew command followed by a instantly regretful swallow. I felt the gigantic chunk of once-chewed bread lodged in my throat immediately.
My first step was to try to take a drink of water to wash it down, and I could literally feel the cold stop halfway down my throat. Then panic set in and I grabbed a chair from the table and tried giving myself the Heimlich to no avail.
I stood up and for the first time in my life I could see the darkness coming in from the outside of my vision. I could feel myself starting to pass out and decided to go for broke and just shoved my entire hand down my throat and broke it up.
Took a huge gasp, saw stars, and had throat skin under finger nails. Throat hurt for a good couple weeks, but at least I'm alive.
No Panty Lines
There was a girl I asked to see a jazz concert with. I thought she just liked me like a friend. When I picked her up, she asked if I liked her dress, I said "yeah!" and she said "I'm not wearing panties under here." I didn't miss a beat and said "Oh, right, to avoid lines. Right." And we saw the concert and I dropped her off. Realized the next morning how stupid I was.
Always Account For Wind
When I was 11 the kids on the other side of the back fence were being aholes, throwing stuff at me and talking stuff. so I decided to grab my moms pepper spray and spray them. I didn't take the wind into account and it sprayed right back in my face.
Why A Potato?
In my freshman year of high school I rolled a potato with my phone number on it to my crush in the cafeteria.
Never got a call.
The Nasal Rinse
I was smoking and after showering still smelled it, so I tilted my head back under the sink to pour water into my nostrils... Practically drowned.
- A2029
In Writing
GiphyWe got a new, powerful and metal ceiling fan.
I tried to touch it as slightly as possible, just to feel it brush my fingertips.
Doctor said it did not need stitches, and it healed on its own. He just cleaned the wound and taped it.
He also said I am an idiot, and asked if I needed that in writing.
Redditor P-o-t-a-t-o-o wanted to hear what shocking things we've heard people say they think is truth.
So they asked:
"What is the stupidest thing a large amount of people believe in?"
I'm still stunned to meet Flat Earthers. I mean...
Careless...
Rich Get Richer Make America Great Again GIF by Creative CourageGiphy"That influencers, politicians and businesses are genuinely interested in you and your lives."
badblackguy
Doesn't Hurt
"We have blue blood and it turns red when exposed to oxygen."
gladiiisss
"I remember being literally taught this in elementary school. And the whole different areas of the tongue's taste buds are for specific flavors. I had a first grade teacher encourage us to pull out strands of our hair claiming it 'doesn't hurt.' So many lies. And I got in trouble for ever questioning them."
The_Geekachu
Obvious
"MLMs."
Specialist_Watch1081
"Lots of people who are actively in MLMs also believe MLM's are stupid. They just believe their MLM somehow is not an MLM because it's called something else like 'network marketing' or they are an 'independent distributor.'"
ReturnedAndReported
"I don't know how people can make it this far in life in modern society and still not be able to spot the obvious scams."
silenttd
The Fixer
"A college dropout with tax evasion case will fix the Philippine economy again. 31 million people actually believed this."
Aggravating-Ice6053
"Can confirm. Im a Filipino living in the Philippines. It's absolute hell in here. BBM supporters call it the "golden era" but I swear, we struggle to buy food right now, considering that you're middle class. Imagine the poor people living here. What's worse is we fought for this back in 1986 to make sure the reign of the Marcoses never happen again."
"Hundreds and Thousands of lives lost all for nothing. That's what stupidity and bribery does."
"I'm really glad that other people are aware of this issue, and not just us Filipinos. Gives us a sense of hope that hopefully one day we can bounce back from this. Honestly a lot of Filipinos have already migrated to other countries, so that should give you an idea what kind of situation the Philippines is in right now."
Mimble_Amagi
Seconds Off
Time Mma GIF by UFCGiphy'''I'll be there in 5 minutes.'"
Blonde_girl713
"'I'm on my way right now.""
Fine_Cheek_4106
Being on time... just say you're gonna be late if that's the issue.
Not a Knockout
Knock Out Chloroform GIF by Bailingguo NewsGiphy"That a little bit of chloroform on a rag over someone's nose and mouth for a few seconds renders them unconscious. Totally not from first hand experience."
rone007
Not so far fetched...
"Scientology."
1smartchickey1_1
"I’ll never forget watching the South Park episode about Scientology and thinking 'haha yeah this cannot be real, this stuff is way too far fetched.' And then I googled it and googled the instruments they use for Scientology and who some well known names are that were who were part of Scientology and I was completely shocked."
Conz_
Representation
"That millionaire politicians will represent the working class."
TheBatjedi
"I absolutely hate the concept of 'he is not in it for money, he already has enough' when talking about rich politicians. Please show me a single multi-billionaire who is not constantly trying to get richer. No one suddenly flips a switch from from exploitative capitalist to public servant. Every single rich politician is only interested in getting more wealth/money and to think otherwise is naive."
Al_Tilly_the_Bum
Be Nice
"That screaming at whichever hapless employee had to answer your call will magically get a supervisor on the line."
"It might work in a few places, but the person you want to talk to is probably too busy to deal with you (or they don’t care), and the person you’re cursing out is being paid to handle calls so their boss don’t have to do that on top of their actual job, too."
"At least that’s been the case at most of the places where I’ve worked. (Note: I have never worked in a call center, so no, there wasn’t a supervisor standing by.)"
"Incidentally, when I was a partial owner of a small business, anyone who was abusive to an employee was banned, full stop. I refused to tolerate that nonsense."
"Edit: holy cow, this blew up. Remember to be nice to the people who did show up for work and are trying to help you…their hands may be tied."
littlelostangeles
Smile...
John Candy Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"That 'mental illnesses aren't real.'"
guitarist4hire
"A few years back, I remember talking to a coworker one day about a really bad depression episode I was having and my boss overheard, he scoffed and was like 'Depression? Just think happy thoughts and be happy.'"
Bacon-Manning
How are we so gullible?
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor dxadr0sx wanted to talk about the people who freak us out.
So they asked:
"Who are the scariest types of people?"
Any "type" of person is capable of crazy. That's just fact.
So Easy
GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"The scariest kind of person would be someone who manipulates, and lies like it were normal because they’ll easily get you to do things and make you think it was your idea."
noley23056
Tattletales
'"Friends' at work who are the first to go and tell everyone your personal business along with running their mouth to the bosses about everything behind your back. Act like best friends in person but really try and use the friendship to gain an upper hand at work."
ciahawkeye
"Happened to me, and I just cannot fathom why. We were interns who had absolutely no chance of being hired--as per the laws in our country as related to our job--, so I have no idea as to why that person tried to bully me and gossip behind my back."
DiligentBloke
Fabrications
"True gaslighters. Not someone who made a mistake in remembering something but someone who literally reconstructs reality and tells you that's the way it's always been. Tells you you said things you didn't say, changes around what they said, so many changes that it ends up being a complete fabrication that they believe it the truth."
"Then they tell you you're gaslighting them because you don't agree with the fabrication. You have to go no contact or you will go fully insane being led on this merry dance and trying to get them back to reality."
ChillWisdom
YOU
"Those obsessed with another person to an extreme point, be it a celebrity or an ordinary person."
swxttie
"I know someone who got stalked. I almost never saw the said person without the stalker. The stalker just appeared everywhere and every time, always tried to appear friendly and never went away no matter what. It was an insanely scary thing to witness."
Bocote
No Limits
Angry Bbc Two GIF by BBCGiphy"People who have nothing to lose."
GummyZerg
"It sounds like a movie cliche but these people are legit dangerous if you make them mad. They just don't care what happens to them, that's what makes them so dangerous."
Noggin-a-Floggin
Oh those nothing to lose types freak me out.
Hands Down
Melissa Mccarthy Fight GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"People who feel justified in using violence every time they get the least bit annoyed."
EspressoBooksCats
"Especially during clubbing. It's like some people go there to find the tiniest excuse just to start a fight."
KenzoAtreides
Too Soon
"In my experience someone who calls you their best friend after just meeting them. Happened to me twice. They are usually manipulative and abusive."
lesita6865
"You know what scares me the most about your post? I’m mostly without friends these days and struggle to make/maintain friendships in general, so if I did meet someone who instantly declared me their best friend I’d probably be excited instead of raising an eyebrow."
"On the bright side I’m extremely introverted and have ADHD so that tends to weed out highly demanding friendships quite a bit haha."
Crankylosaurus
That Age
"Teenagers are scary at every stage of your life. When you are a child you are scared of them because they are bigger than you, when you are a teenager you are scared because you are constantly surrounded by them, and when you are an adult you are scared of them because you know from experience how reckless and stupid they are."
zirittusit
So Enticing
"A charming sociopath. I have a hunch that I know one, and I call their behavior 'turning on the charm' to get things to go their way. I can tell when they are going to ask me for something because I see their behavior switch."
gecalab740
"A lot of the time though, a psychopath's charm is obviously superficial - but throw high intelligence into the mix and you have a truly terrifying combination."
undeadermonkey
"Some of the best advice I ever got was to think of charm as a verb. When someone is charming you, they are taking an action."
kifferella
THEM
Politics Lies GIF by PEEKASSOGiphy"Lie with straight face and have no empathy."
Trick-Pair1680
"People who feel no empathy or guilt are the scariest. Who knows what they'll do next."
Themanwhofarts
Just like I said earlier. All humans basically.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor HornedOwlsNest was curious to hear which video games were ideally suited for couples to play together, leading them to ask:
"What is the best video game for couples to play?"
Divinity Original Sin 2
"Divinity Original Sin 2 was perfectfor me and my significant other since we are both intoD&D."-Jurelover
Portal
"Portal and Portal 2"- Pm_me_fluffy_stuff
Dead By Daylight
"My SO and I play 'Dead by Daylight' as survivors."
"We get frustrated together when the killer is good, and we cheer together when the killer is bad."
"Perfect bonding experience."- NihilisticMind
Gang Beasts
"'Gang Beasts', trust me you will laugh yourselves to death."- CheekyFeller
City Beef GIF by Gang BeastsGiphyOvercooked
"'Overcooked', if you love a cooperation challenge."
"It could also ruin your relationship."
"Also, for those looking for a similar experience with less stress, you might try 'Diner Bros', though I think it's only on Steam/PC at the moment."- Decimaelstrom
Castle Crashers
"'Castle Crashers'"- OpulentOwl·
Snipperclips
"Snipperclips."
"It’s for two people and it’s where people work together."- mcboy973
Happy Well Done GIF by LaffGiphyDon't Starve Together
"My wife and I play 'Dont Starve Together' a lot on the PC."
"We both have our own PCs and it is such a great time."
"Besides DST, my wife and I love playing single player detective games where you need to solve an overarching mystery."
"We get addicted and we must complete it together and she usually watches and helps solve while I do the actual playing."
"They are a slow burn with hardly any action and are great to spend time with a partner on."
"Examples are, 'The Painscreek Killings' and 'Return of the Obra Dinn' as our two favorites we spent dedicated time together on."- LOSTonABC
So Many To Choose From!
"If your SO is into action games: 'Borderlands', 'Sniper Elite', 'Left 4 Dead'."
"Also 'Battle Royales'."
"If your SO is into non-violent games: 'Stardew Valley', 'Factorio', 'Minecraft', 'Terraria, Starbound', 'Don't Starve Together', etc."
"If your SO is not used to videogames: Story driven games you can play together such as 'The Red Strings Club', 'Oxenfree', 'Life is Strange', Telltale games in general."
"If your SO is into board games/party games: 'Monster Prom', 'Tricky Towers', 'Town of Salem', etc."
"Would also recommend: 'Dungeon of the Endless', coop tower defense dungeon crawler, and 'The Escapists 2', silly prison break sim."- Jurelover
They say a little competition is healthy in every relationship.
And is there really a better outlet to take out one's frustrations on your partner than Street Fighter
Then too, if the Black Mirror episode 'Striking Vipers' taught us anything, video games can result in some surprisingly sexy outcomes...
