People Share The Stupidest Thing They Have Ever Done
Stupid is as stupid does...
In my family we have something of a mantra: "If you're going to be dumb, you gotta be tough." It's the kind of thing that you wish you didn't have to say, but kids (and teenagers and my brother) have a way of just bringing it out of you.
There have been shenanigans aplenty from all of us. Some of you who follow my work may know about my Indiana Jones facial scar. My brother once knocked himself unconscious because he was convinced he could emulate a scene from Moral Kombat. (Spoiler Alert: He could not.) Grandma burned down the kitchen cooking fish. My sister knocked herself out doing choreography in the shower. Let's just say we're a family full of "tough" people.
Reddit user m0na-l1sa asked:
What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?
Yeah ... there are a lot of "tough" folks in these comments. Kick back (cautiously, please) and enjoy the disasters.
Nailed It!
I once tested out a jammed nail gun on the palm of my hand. It was no longer jammed.
Happy Birthday
GiphyFinally gathered the courage to tell my high school girlfriend that we weren't working and that I wanted to break up...
...via a phone call...
...while forgetting that that particular day was her birthday...
Sophomore year was a ton of fun.
Calm Down, Tony Hawk
When I was 19 my friends and I used to go driving around in my Jeep Wrangler.
One day we decided to skateboard behind it while holding an extension cord. Think similarly to how people water ski behind a boat.
On our first attempt I decided to be the guinea pig since it was my idea.
Things started off fine so they sped up to like 15 or maybe 20 mph.
I decided it was too fast so I jumped off the board and started running while I dropped the cord on the ground.
By some freakish miracle the cord wrapped around my leg and started dragging me.
I was dragged for probably a good 100 feet before they were able to get the driver to stop.
My underwear got melted to my skin and I had to peel it off which was one of the most painful things that's ever happened to me.
I couldn't sleep on my back for a couple weeks.
Road Trip!
A week after getting my license, I decided to take a spontaneous road trip 300 miles to visit a pen pal in the next state over I had never met before.
The stupid part is I told no one I was going - namely my parents because I knew they'd freak - and when I was there, my car spun out while driving and I popped a couple tires.
Well, I got 1 replaced, and the other full of fix-a-flat.
Then my geniusself remembered I had to work the next day, so I decided 'let's see how fast my Civic can go. Maxed the speedometer at 125 for 2 minutes non-stop at one point. With fix-a-flat.
Oh and I totally got lost and didn't make it to work on time and meeting my pen pal wasn't even worth it. It was a time in my life where a lot of relationships I formed then faded into obscurity.
How I managed to make it home, let alone not getting pulled over, is still a mystery to me.
- ZiggoCiP
Revolver
Stole money from a meth head. Then told him about it. Easy way to get a revolver in your face if you're into that sort of thing. To clarify, I was not on meth. Wasn't under the influence at all. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
- nagathenaga
Window Pun
I punched a window out of anger and severed my median nerve causing like 75% paralysis of my right hand and thumb.
I guess that's why they call it window pane.
Old Enough To Know Better
Microwaved my cordless phone to dry it off after dropping it in my toilet. I was in my early 20's.
- Tunafun
Comet
GiphyWhen I was little I ate Comet (the cleaning chemical) because I thought it was mozzarella cheese. I sprinkled it on my pizza and after the first bite quickly realized it wasn't cheese. For those that don't know. Comet is bleach that comes in a green bottle. To my young brain it looked exactly like the mozzarella cheese you would dazzle on a slice of pizza, that would also come in a green bottle. I think I grew up fine since then.
You didn't. Because all this time, you thought it was mozzarella cheese. It's Parmesan cheese in the green can.
OH SONOFA B-
Zucchini Bread
Got really high while home alone and decided to eat my girlfriend's zucchini bread. Basically my high brain only sent a single chew command followed by a instantly regretful swallow. I felt the gigantic chunk of once-chewed bread lodged in my throat immediately.
My first step was to try to take a drink of water to wash it down, and I could literally feel the cold stop halfway down my throat. Then panic set in and I grabbed a chair from the table and tried giving myself the Heimlich to no avail.
I stood up and for the first time in my life I could see the darkness coming in from the outside of my vision. I could feel myself starting to pass out and decided to go for broke and just shoved my entire hand down my throat and broke it up.
Took a huge gasp, saw stars, and had throat skin under finger nails. Throat hurt for a good couple weeks, but at least I'm alive.
No Panty Lines
There was a girl I asked to see a jazz concert with. I thought she just liked me like a friend. When I picked her up, she asked if I liked her dress, I said "yeah!" and she said "I'm not wearing panties under here." I didn't miss a beat and said "Oh, right, to avoid lines. Right." And we saw the concert and I dropped her off. Realized the next morning how stupid I was.
Always Account For Wind
When I was 11 the kids on the other side of the back fence were being aholes, throwing stuff at me and talking stuff. so I decided to grab my moms pepper spray and spray them. I didn't take the wind into account and it sprayed right back in my face.
Why A Potato?
In my freshman year of high school I rolled a potato with my phone number on it to my crush in the cafeteria.
Never got a call.
The Nasal Rinse
I was smoking and after showering still smelled it, so I tilted my head back under the sink to pour water into my nostrils... Practically drowned.
- A2029
In Writing
GiphyWe got a new, powerful and metal ceiling fan.
I tried to touch it as slightly as possible, just to feel it brush my fingertips.
Doctor said it did not need stitches, and it healed on its own. He just cleaned the wound and taped it.
He also said I am an idiot, and asked if I needed that in writing.
People Break Down Which Major Historical Events Many Folks Don't Realize Happened Around The Same Time
History is fascinating, because while we're busy thinking about important events, sometimes we lose context of how long ago that event actually happened.
We might forget that two important figures in history were alive at the same time, or we might picture an event as if it happened 100 years ago instead of 20.
Remembering the context in which these events happened makes them all the more powerful.
Redditor drichm2599 asked:
"What are two historical events most people don't realize happened at about the same time?"
Diary of a Young Girl
"Anne Frank was born the same year as actor James Hong, who attended the Oscars [this year]."
- CityAbsurdia
Oxford May Be Older Than You Think
"Oxford University is older than the Incan Empire."
- Iknowr1te
"It sounds crazy until you know that the Inca were from late medieval and early modern history, rather than ancient history."
- David_bowman_starman
Galileo at Harvard
"There was a six-year period in which Galileo could have taught at Harvard."
- monkeydo54
Vienna 1913
"Hitler, Stalin, Trotsky, Tito, Freud, and Archduke Franz Ferdinand all lived in Vienna in 1913."
- AdamBombKelley
"So a communist, a socialist, a fascist, and a monarchist walk into a bar..."
- nuclear-launch-codes
"Freud: Clearly all their thoughts dwell on their mothers."
- Guy_with_Numbers
The Guillotine Isn't So Outdated
"The last execution by guillotine in France and the release of the first 'Star Wars' movie took place in the same year (1977)."
- justanotherstr4nger
Meanwhile, 'Toy Story 3' Was Released 13 Years Ago...
"The most recent execution by firing squad in the U.S. took place the same day 'Toy Story 3' was released in 2010."
- ScorpionX-123
The Samurai Address
"There was a 22-year period when Abraham Lincoln could have sent a fax to a Samurai."
"The fax machine was invented in 1843. The samurai were abolished in 1867. Abraham Lincoln died in 1865."
- SnooGrapes2914
Egyptian Civilization
"Wooly mammoths were still around when the Egyptians were building the pyramids."
- BaconReceptacle
"Cleopatra was born closer to the moon landing than to the pyramids being built. By a lot."
- Selith87
"We generally do not appreciate how long the ancient Egyptian civilization was around. Narmer, Pharaoh of the First Dynasty of the Early Dynastic Period, lived over 3,200 years before Pharaoh Cleopatra VII Philopator died, ending the line of the Ptolemaic Dynasty. And there are Pharaohs before Narmer, such as Iry-Hor, a candidate for the earliest person whose name we know."
"Egyptian culture existed for over three millennia, evolving, changing, sometimes enduring massive fractures, collapses, and invasions. Either via conquest or being conquered, they had an uncanny ability to absorb the cultures of other peoples into their own, creating this mutable yet eternal cultural identity."
"The gods of Egypt were old by the time Hatshepsut sent her expedition to Punt. They were even older when Ramesses II fought the Battle of Kadesh. By the time the Roman Republic was founded, they were ancient."
"Ancient Egypt existed for a really f**king long time."
- Nerevar1924
The Dinosaur Timeline
"One that trips me out is that T-rexes are closer to being alive with us than they would be to the Stegosaurus."
“Tyrannosaurus lived 68 - 66 million years ago, and Stegosaurus lived 155 - 145 million years ago. That puts the gap between those two, 77 million years and 66 million years between the Tyrannosaurus and us.”
"Insane, as I always think of dinosaurs being around in the same basic time period."
- Rollotommasi5
Historical Overlaps
"Joe Biden was alive when Nikola Tesla died."
- Shevek99
"Ancient" Civilizations
"The founding of the capital of the Aztec civilization in Tenochtitlan (which would become the foundation for Mexico City a few centuries later) and the beginning of the 100 Years War over in Europe are only about a decade apart (~1325 vs. ~1338)."
"In fact, the major civilizations of the Americas that were ultimately taken down by European conquests and diseases all roughly rose and fell over the course of the 11th through 16th centuries."
"I always find it funny if someone refers to the Incan, Mayan, or Aztec civilizations with words like 'ancient', considering they rose and fell during the same periods as the Mongolian and Ottoman empires, and we don't typically call those ancient."
- rizhail
The Summer of '69
"In 1969 in August Hurricane Camille hit the northern coast of the Gulf of Mexico, the rain storm at Woodstock was part of that storm, and Manson’s group had just gone on the murder spree. The US was as crazy as ever."
- BinxMcGee
So Eerie
"The iconic cover photo of the Beatles' 'Abbey Road' album was taken on the same day as the Manson murders."
- President_Calhoun
Take Me Out to the Ballgame
"Fenway Park opened the same week that the Titanic sunk."
- redsoxsteve9
Kind of Wild
"We are more years in the future from the release of the movie 'Back to the Future' than the movie traveled back in time."
"If we traveled back in time the same amount of years they did, you could still get a VHS copy of 'Back to the Future' in a bargain bin."
- McFeely_Smackup
While we may know these different pieces of history, it's fascinating to think about how they all fit together into the world's timeline. Some of it's interesting, but some of it feels mind-bendingly surreal.
Pizza is one of those foods that nearly anyone can agree is good, even if we can't find a middle-ground on toppings.
However, one phenomenon that confuses a lot of people are the pizza lovers who choose to eat their pizza with a fork and a knife.
But the cutlery fans argue that there are good reasons to skip picking up that slice of pie next time.
Curious, Redditor Ok-Treacle-9312 asked:
"People who eat pizza with a knife and fork... Why?"
Clean Hands
"I eat donuts with whatever I can pierce them with, whether that be a fork, knife, chopsticks, or whatever. I just hate getting my fingers dirty."
"Pizza barely gets a pass because you can hold the crust."
"But if grease drips onto my hand somehow, it's irritating."
- Bjorn2Fall
Protect That Keyboard
"Typically I'd do it because I'm working at my PC and don't want to have to wipe my hands off every time I need to type something."
- Hrekires
Mindful Eating
"I use a fork and knife to slow me down."
- NairobiMuzungu
No More Overeating
"Using the fork and knife slows me down, it gives me more time to realize I'm filling up, and I end up stopping before I overeat."
- whomp1970
Depends on the Pizza
"Depends on the pizza, if it's thick and unwieldy absolutely laden with toppings, I might reach for a fork. But if it's a standard slice, I'm picking it up."
- StanYelnats3
Beating the Heat
"I'll use a knife and a fork when I want it right now, but if I bite into it when it’s too hot, the cheese will slap itself onto my chin, and I’ll scream."
- senorbane
Dental Issues
"I don't have a single freaking tooth left in my head. Just about anything I eat requires a sharp knife."
- Pitiful-Signal8063
"I've got plenty of teeth, but the ones in the front don't do a good job of meeting. So if I try to eat pizza without a fork and knife, my first bite doesn't go completely through the toppings, I pull the pizza away from my mouth... and all the toppings on the slice fall in my lap."
- the_quark
Good Point
"You ever tried to lift a slab of deep dish to your face?"
- Wazula23
Because, Italy
"That's the normal way of eating a traditional Italian pizza."
- ViridianKumquat
"I just watched an Anthony Bourdain episode, and everyone at this Naples pizza place was eating with a knife and fork."
- WiseTree710
"It's a perfectly valid and convenient way to consume pizza."
"Source: I'm Italian."
- Colosso95
Listen to Seinfeld
"How do you eat it? With your hands? (scoffs)."
- kofed62181
Preferences Matter
"Maybe because they want to?"
- Mentalfloss1
Social Perspective
"It looks neater, if you are in a setting with people you want to impress and want to come across as super tidy then a knife and fork would look okay."
- Usual-Constant-3744
Messy Situations
"Sometimes I have a little too many (inconvenient) ingredients on my pizza that make it hard to eat it with just my hands."
- UnicornPopPile
Signs of Aging
"Because I instinctively take unmanageable bites if I'm manhandling food. That was okay before I hit 40 and my metabolism lost its sense of adventure."
- Automatic-Choice-794
Enjoy the Food
"Mainly, it forces me to slow down and appreciate the pizza instead of just shoving it in."
"Also, it makes eating pizza more of a sensory experience. I can feel and hear how crunchy or thick the crust is by cutting into it. I can tell how much sauce is on it by how much I have to spoon it up after cutting. I can also see how stringy the cheese is by having to twirl it around my fork."
- Ok-Resource-7640
This just goes to show that we all have our preferences, even when it comes to how we want to eat our pizza.
Now, the most important thing is to respect everyone's choices here... and maybe go grab a slice of pizza for lunch.
People Who've Spent Time In A Psych Ward Describe The Strangest Things They Ever Witnessed
Patients who have severe mental illnesses can pose a physical threat to themselves and to others, which is why they are often sent to psychiatric care facilities.
Those who have visited these institutions or individuals who work in one know firsthand how intense some of these patients can be.
Curious to hear examples from those who've witnessed extremely unusual behavior at these facilities had plenty to share when Redditor N3SSDOGGDOGG asked:
"People who have spent time in a Psych Ward what is the craziest thing you’ve witnessed?"
One thing is certain. There is never a dull moment.
Consequences Of Enabling Drug Addiction
"In our tiny community some kids are smelly because typically the parents are addicts who either didn't pay their water bill, don't own a washer/dryer or are too brain dead to care. The nearest laundromat is now 30 miles away because the local one got broken into and robbed too many times by. Our school is awesome, there are staff members who do laundry for these kids and make sure they get showers. It's discreet so they're not ridiculed. I hate how our society enables addiction and even celebrates drug use, but I don't know how we can fix it at this point. It's gotten completely out of hand."
– Marisleysis33
Taking You To A Live Commercial
"My brother-in-law had a stint in a psych ward a little over a year ago, and on a particularly manic day they were in the middle of the community room and started singing."
“I have a structured settlement and I need cash now”
"This was then met by about 40-50 psych patients shouting back."
“CALL J.G. WENTWORTH!!! 877-CASH-NOW!!!”
"After getting a few verses in the orderlies stepped in and kindly requested they stop, which was kinda a shame since it sounded like they were all having a good time."
– MikeMars1225
Select Highlights
"I've worked in one for about 2 years now. The staff are just as crazy."
"Here's some highlights"
"Patient got into the ceiling, couldn't get them down for a while."
"Patient milked themself into their coffee. Did you know some anti-psychotics make you lactate?"
"The entire adolescent unit escaping because maintenence forgot to lock the gate. Don't worry. They all came back eventually."
"And myself getting a concussion from a patient trying to escape, they weren't successful, but at least I didn't work for 6 weeks."
– NeverlandEnding
Character Performance
"The funniest thing I ever saw (spent total of about three years in in my teens and early 20's): a kid in seclusion who was having a genuinely good time making staff's life a living nightmare while he was in there, took apart the plastic mattress, tore the foam inside into small pieces, donned the empty mattress and started yelling 'I'M GUMBY, DAMMIT!' while tossing the pieces of foam around like confetti. Even most of the staff were laughing about it."
– t_portch
Physical violence seemed to be a common occurrence.
He Had A Violent Streak
"Not a patient but an employee. Had a 16 year old kid come in who was about 6'2 220 pounds. Built like a linebacker. I found out since he was technically a child he somehow ended up at an autism school for children with very little security. He ended up inflicting a TBI on one of the teachers and got sent to us. The kid had a violent streak the likes I hadn't seen before, he knew he was stronger than most and liked to fight unprovoked and it always took 4 to 6 people to restrain him. I never seen a patient spend more time than him in the 'safety room' an incredibly small padded room with nothing in it. His parents wouldnt authorize his move somewhere else and they wouldn't take him home either. We were not equipt for someone with his level of violence. So there he sat... For one and a half years..."
"It wasn't like a single incident that was crazy, it was the entire situation."
– DisagreeableFool
David And Wendy
"I was in an adolescent inpatient facility for 30 days. One kid named David who was very tall for his age, I think he was only 13. He insisted on watching Friday the 13th movies on movie nights and everyone was afraid to disagree with him because of his violent nature and frequent homicidal fantasies. He hated taking his meds, and probably 2 or 3 times a week he'd brawl with the psych nurses over it. No joke, it took 5 to 6 large grown men to overcome this kid. He was scary."
– better-off-ted
A Mother's Experience
"My mother worked in an asylum in Ireland when she was about 15. This was in the early 60s. She loved working there, despite the fact that some of the patients would physically try and kill her. One patient always stuck out to her, every day he would tell my mum he was going to kill her when she finished work. She knew he loved music, so would tell him she was out dancing that night, and could he wait until the next day, which he agreed to. The next day he would forget what he had said, and would threaten her again, and she'd say the say thing again. This went on for a couple of years that she worked there."
– tiredandstupid82
Turns out some patients weren't seeing a change of scenery any time soon.
Fighting To Stay
"I work inpatient and we had someone who was in for 2 1/2 years. They would try to take him out but he would start fighting immediately and eventually said he preferred it."
– Deathdad
Simon
I was a social worker at an institution that had a hall for what we called 'lifers,' it was essentially for people who had no hopes of ever being released due to their conditions. Anyway, my hall had 14 beds and it was full. There was this one guy who was huge. He was 6’7 and about 350. His name was Simon. He suffered from drug-induced schizophrenia and had bipolar disorder. He talked to himself all day, but never talked to others. All the other men in the ward were scared of him."
"It was my day to do first shift. I got there early to start on some paperwork I needed to finish. When I got my keys in the door, I heard Simon hit the door with his fists. I looked through the tiny window on the door and he and the hall was covered in blood. I panicked and called security for backup because I thought he had killed somebody."
"Turns out, Simon was in the throes of an extreme manic episode and had managed to walk the literal soles of his feet off. Other medication he was on thinned his blood and led to him bleeding all over the place."
"We checked the camera footage and he had walked and talked all night. The orderly (who was fired that day) had slept through his whole shift and never heard Simon walking back and forth."
– CamillaCream02
Some of these examples sound like they could patients in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, without Nurse Ratched tormenting them.
But props to the real humans who are compassionate and look after those who can't function alone in society.
Even before these far too frequent cases of violence in schools, not all students felt safe going to school every day.
As bullying continues to be an ongoing problem, with students being bullied by fellow students and teachers alike.
Sadly, bullying has become so commonplace that many students and teachers might witness it and not think much of it.
Every now and then, however, people will witness something happening within the presumably safe walls of a school which still keeps them awake at night.
Something so shocking or horrific that should simply never happen anywhere... let alone in a school.
"What was the most f**ked up thing you saw at your school?"
A Stupid Dare, Or Just Plain Stupidity?
"The ambulance in front of the school because two guys glued their eyelids shut with a quick-dry adhesive."- Teapunk00
An Accident That Should Never Have Happened
"A new kid at our school grabbed the art teacher's scissors and threw them over a dividing wall when the teacher left the room."
"They hit some girl in a different art class on the other side and one of the blades went through her cheek."
"We were held after class until he finally confessed, and we saw the police at the school later."
"He had been at our school for about a week, and we never saw him again after that day."- HairyDowntown
There's A Reason They Warn You Not To Play With Your Food
"Some guy got a concussion because someone threw a kiwi(fruit) and he got hit in the head."- BobbyLeFourbe
What Lesson Could They Have Possibly Learned?
"Some kids were punching a mason jar lid that we used to seal a jar with some bug in it."
"They were doing it as some sort of whose tougher test."
"When the teacher sees this and sees they have small scratches on their knuckles she proceeds to tell them that the bug was poisonous and they will die very soon since they drew blood punching the lid."
"We were maybe 10 at the time."
'She made them write goodbye notes to their parents and make goodbye speeches to the class."
"We were all tripping because we believed her too."
"It was wild."- country728
The List Goes On and On...
"Middle school:"
"Girl had the sewing machine needle go right through her finger."
"The left with the needle and thread just hanging out."
"Another kid had an exacto knife stabbed right into his wrist, by accident, so close to the artery."
"High school:"
"Girl was run over by a bus."
"It backed over her, then pulled forward over her again!"
"We had fundraisers and pep rallies for her."
"She made a full recovery and is still playing sports at almost 40 now."
"Sex in the bathroom."
"Endangered turtle was found during construction."
"All construction had to stop until the turtle moved out."
"PE teacher…you know how that one goes."- Dyltra
What A Way To Go
"The EMTs wheeling out the Spanish teacher after she had died in the girl's bathroom of a heart attack."- CapG_13
So Many Questions...
"A jeep ended up in the swimming pool."
"The student crashed through the wall during lunch, rumors about DUI flew, but never did find out exactly what happened."- Taladrac
Things Aren't Always What They Seem...
"When I was at 1-2 grades, we had this extremely friendly janitor, who could be found in his small office, and he would close the door and give you some candies."
"I heard about this, and never believed my friends, but I decided to go see him on one of the brakes."
"I know what you think, but stay with me."
"I knocked, he opened and asked me what my name was, and what I would like to do when I grow up, he gave me 2 candies and said thank you for visiting."
"Yep, just a normal dude who likes kids."
"Also, we had computer class where we were taught stuff like paint, word, PowerPoint."
"We had about 20 pentium 1 computers."
"One day, all the computers were gone, disappeared."
"And so was he, the candy giving nice dude."- EastOrganization2392
Strangest Thing About This Was That He Wasn't Watching It...
"Some guy in college sat in front of me in a studio."
"We were on stools so there was no back to the chair."
"He had his phone in his back pocket, screen facing out with porn playing on his phone, he had his headphones on."
"I wasn’t the only one who noticed, but I certainly didn’t want to break the silence by telling him."- ireallyamtired
Some Would Say They Deserved Much Worse...
"A bald girl crying as she walked to class."
"Someone had stolen her wig and run away with it."
"They knew she had brain cancer and couldn't chase after them."
"The wig was only returned after a popular boy made the girls give it to him."
"The girl died a few months later."
"Only bright side was that the girls who stole her wig had to change schools because no one would let them forget what a bunch of monsters they are."
"Play stupid games win endless harassment because you bullied the quiet dying girl who was nice to everyone."- godwins_law_34
So Much Wasted Talent
"We had a teammate drop dead mid-run during basketball practice in 8th grade."
"It turned out he had an undiagnosed heart defect and he just had a sudden heart attack with no warnings."- fightwallace
Everyone has at least one or two unpleasant memories from their time at school.
These sorts of things, however, no one should ever have to witness anywhere, at any time in their lives.