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People Share Facts That Could Actually Save A Life

Be the 911....

People Share Facts That Could Actually Save A Life
Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay

Pay attention. When we discuss survival... that is rule number one in my book. Paying attention, being alert and aware of your surroundings can make the simplest and most significant difference between life and death. There are millions of small details that we as humans really need to be made aware of. Saving one's own life and the life of others is far more probable than we think. That's why I love shows like 48 Hours, Dateline and 20/20, they often showcase survivor stories that can impart unknown details showing how we all can be victors in similar situations.

Redditor u/KunJosh wanted everyone to share about some facts that could help people when life leads us to danger by asking.... [Serious] what are some facts that might save your life one day?

Air Source

"Bubbles Up". If ever underwater via accident, your bubbles will go to the source of air.

LeepII

Landings....

If you are on an airplane that lands on water you need to wait until you are outside of the plane to inflate your life jacket. If the door sinks below the water line and you have to swim down you will not be able to do it with an inflated vest. This was a part of the reason so many people died on Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961.

The_Ditcher_3

Stay In

If you get stabbed, don't pull out the knife.

Gnimblwimbl

This is true for anything that's in you. Pulling it out 1) could cause more damage....

2) it's currently blocking the majority of blood flow from what ever it's punctured.

Call fire services and ambulances. I've seen someone impaled who had the railings cut off them and transport to hospital on their side, railings still in so they could be removed safely.

lalagromedontknow

Stay Put

Stay Here Hey You GIF by A Little Late With Lilly SinghGiphy

If someone tries to abduct you, fight back. DO NOT let them take you to the secondary crime scene.

AMerrickanGirl

F. A. S. T. 

The acronym FAST to help you detect a stroke.

F - Facial drooping. Usually on one side.

A - Arm weakness. Have the person attempt to lift their arms, and squeeze your hands. There can be a difference in hand strength.

S - Speech difficulties. Self explanatory. Speech can sound garbled, or they may not be able to get any words out at all.

T - Time. Get medical attention quickly. The faster they get medical attention, the better chance of recovery.

Kitty_Britches

Coal Bruise

Activated charcoal can bind to toxins but it can also bind to medicine. It can both mildly help with overdoses or hinder much needed medication.

Derpinshnofe

I recall an article about a girl who got pregnant after eating activated charcoal ice cream, because it messed with her contraceptive pill.

Jimity2002

Through the Glass....

A tool to break your car's windows can save you from drowning if you end up in the water. Keep one in your glove box.

schnozzberryflop

To add to this, if you're stuck in a car and need to break the window, put the metal buckle of the seat belt around the heel of your shoe and kick the corner of a window with it.

Sudoplays

A spark plug will actually do that - it will shatter the glass.

artemis908

Folgers?

Snow White Coffee GIFGiphy

If your vomit looks like coffee grounds, you have internal bleeding and need to go to the hospital ASAP.

Big-mood-energy

Where are you?

All the technology that 911 has; the address lookup and phone pings and cell tower triangulation; does not make it easy for them to find you. It makes it possible in ideal circumstances.

Know where you are and how to articulate it.

insertcaffeine

Also, teach your children as soon as they're old enough to talk!

Teach them your address, at least the number and road. Teach them your real names, not just Mom and Dad. Teach them one phone number they should know by heart.

And tips for older people, try to keep bearings of your surroundings. Whenever I drive someplace I look up GPS instructions but also remind myself of landmarks and major roads I pass.

On road trips to unfamiliar places I make mental notes of the highway mile markers I pass, so if my car breaks down I can say "I'm on I-66 westbound around mile 71" instead of just being lost. It boggles my mind how people can get lost on the same roads they take for years.

optcynsejo

The Strike!

Vintage Vhs GIF by vhspositiveGiphy

If you're standing out in the open and all of the hair on your head begins to stand up, leave. That area is about to be struck by lightning.

EfficientToeHair

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REDDIT

Seriously Unhinged Wedding Drama
Photo by Manny Becerra on Unsplash

Really good wedding drama doesn’t just happen the day of. It begins with the engagement ring, and the fireworks keep happening throughout the showers, bachelor parties, and the big day itself. These Redditors came together to share their wedding woes—and they’re unhinged enough that they made us want to elope.

1. Second Class Citizen

person holding stainless steel forkPhoto by Ulysse Pointcheval on Unsplash

My husband’s co-worker invited him (plus me) to his wedding. The reception was held at a big park complex with several other receptions/parties happening at the same time. Each had their own banquet room but the outdoor spaces weren’t cordoned off from each other or from the surrounding public park. When we entered the complex building we were asked our names and which wedding, checked off a list, and then each got a hand stamp.

We figured there must be issues with wedding crashers—but I still had a weird feeling about it. After a bit of mingling and watching the wedding party do some photos out the windows, they entered and the two buffet lines opened along opposite walls. We got in line and noticed the servers glanced at our hands. Then I heard one tell a couple behind us that the bride’s line was the other one.

I’m thinking, what?! Yup, guests were fed according to whether they were bride or groom guests. And there was a big difference. The groom’s side had a choice of hot entrees (prime rib or ham), while the bride’s had cold deli tray stuff to make sandwiches. It was obvious that the sides on the bride’s buffet were either homemade or grocery store pre-made stuff and the groom’s obviously higher-end and catered.

They did have shared champagne bottles at the tables, at least. It was so uncomfortable to be sitting there eating with people from the other line. People seemed shocked. I didn’t see anyone make a fuss but we didn’t stay long—we left after the bride and groom dance—before people started to drink more heavily. Later on, my husband mentioned to his co-worker that he’d never seen that at a wedding before.

His reply was astounding. He said his parents didn’t think they should have to shell out for the bride’s side because her family couldn’t afford a nicer meal. I’ve been to some “interesting” weddings, but that was the rudest.

Pistalrose

2. Empathy Doesn’t Cost A Thing

red and white love me heart shaped signagePhoto by Will Greer on Unsplash

This occurred in Austin, Texas. There is a free wedding chapel there with an Italian-sounding name. All the couple has to do is put down a deposit of $200 to hold the date. Once you're married, you go to the office and get your deposit back. And that's it! Free ceremony. Since we booked our wedding over a year in advance, the deposit was $400.

That was fine, since hey, we're getting it back anyway! Cut to six months before our wedding—and tragedy strikes. He was diagnosed with a rare cancer. He passed just one month later. I contacted the free chapel and informed them of what happened. I quite literally received zero condolences and was told that you are only reimbursed the day of your wedding, and not going through with the ceremony would result in forfeiting the deposit.

Even though I literally could not get married as one person was NO LONGER ALIVE, they would not budge. Finally, they sent a check for half the deposit. Mind you, every other vendor refunded me immediately, no questions asked, no certificate to prove it. Including the venue hosting the reception! To this day I can't fathom how a place would want to profit off the loss of a human being.

And how someone could sit there and argue this back and forth all day, again, with no apology for my loss thrown in. I hope it's obvious that this is not about $200 but basic human decency. To essentially penalize someone for their fiancé passing is sick to me.

Dumpcakesbaby

3. Keeping The Receipts

person holding black frying panPhoto by Kevin McCutcheon on Unsplash

My friend is getting married. Her maid of honor planned the bachelorette trip. I honestly think she did well. She asked us our budgets and checked to make sure the prices were okay before booking stuff. One of the events she had for us was a lazy day in, which included hiring a private chef to make us brunch. But just before the party, disaster stuck.

Unfortunately, the chef’s mom passed and they will not be able to do the event. Life happens, they’re working on sending the money back. I thought all was good, we’ll either find some private chef willing to book this soon, or we just change plans—no biggie right? Well…not so fast. I cook and bake a lot. Recently have been doing freelance recipes for a paper and decided I’m going to make my own food blog.

Most of the women in the circle know this, including the maid of honor, because I made her baby shower cake. This is where the drama begins. She messages in the group chat, saying, “Sooo…want to be a private chef and cook brunch for us”? Here’s the deal, I really have NO issue doing that, I like cooking for the ladies. But now this trip turned into a job for at least four hours on site.

That’s plus whatever time I need to make a meal plan, list, and buy food. I also know how much the private chef charged since we already spent the money. So I responded I had no problem doing that, but groceries will need to be paid for, and I want $$—which was still 30% less than the private chef charge. Everyone was fine with that, even offered to help do prep work, grocery shop with me, and clean up after.

I thought we were good—wrong. The maid of honor was “confused” why I’d charge them and by extension the bride. In her mind, I should be doing this because I am a friend, not because I want money. She even said I made her bridal shower cake for free. Well, not true. The bride’s mom actually paid me. So this shouldn’t be an issue.

Then she accused me of causing her extra stress because If I don’t go with it she’ll be scrambling to find someone in time or making a brunch reservation. I told her I’m being reasonable, anyone she finds is going to be five times my price, and she’s putting this on herself. She called me six times in one day over it.

Not long after, I asked about the money we paid her already for the private chef. Specifically, if the PC has already reimbursed her. Again, this is in a group chat. Some hours roll by and someone answers with a meme of the little kid doing math. So then the maid of honor says yes, the chef has. So the natural next question someone asks was, “Well, what do you plan on doing with it? Can you give that money for the brunch, since she’s willing to do it”?

Radio silence from the maid of honor. Then she comes back saying she’s already spent the money on a “bridal gift”. I knew something was up. We asked how much she spent…she won’t say. We can do the math. If you’re giving us $0 back, then we know how much you supposedly spent, dumb-dumb. That’s suspicious. That’s weird.

The group chat is confused because we never agreed to it. It’s rude to spend other people’s money without telling them, etc. She also won’t tell us what it is because it’s “a surprise”. Then again she says it would have been a “wash” if I didn’t ask to get paid. That’s when chaos really breaks loose. The Elle Woods of the group is throwing around words like small claims court.

People have already purchased train or plane tickets (most halfway across the country, or more) at this point. We’re all going just like, “You better have my money or tell me what you spent it on QUICKLY”! No one’s really talking about brunch anymore cause we can figure it out whenever. It’s just food, we’ll be fine. But like—this lady has my money.

One of the women in the chat is the bride’s sister. She texts the bride about this drama. The bride comes back with some disturbing information. She tells us about it in another group chat—one without the maid of honor. We come to find out that the maid of honor has been struggling financially as her husband gambles most of their money away or buys gaming stuff.

They’re falling behind on bill payments. The bride has offered some financial help and as recently as this past weekend offered again. Instead of accepting, the maid of honor said she got some money from her mom (maybe half true) and instead wanted to treat the Bride to nail day for being such a good friend while she’s dealing with her problems.

That was something the bride turned down and told her to save/keep her money. The last text right now in the chat is from the sister that says, “Did you spend our money on your bills”? There is obviously no confirmation for any of this. If she did get some bridal gift worth several hundreds and didn’t tell us, it would be less offensive but she’s still in the wrong for spending group money without a check from us all.

Plus, she was trying to demonize me because she didn’t want to tell the truth. That’s when I decided to investigate on my own. I emailed the women she said she hired as the chef to see if there was any actual transaction. She said she did book with her! But before you cheer too much, last Wednesday the maid of honor called to cancel. As in, the whole bachelorette party is canceled.

I haven’t shared this with the group yet. I’m continuing my fact-finding mission and will come to the party with receipts.

BakersHigh

4. Mas Drama, Por Favor

woman in green crew neck shirt wearing eyeglassesPhoto by Nickolas Nikolic on Unsplash

My wedding is this winter and since my engagement earlier this year there has been nothing short of telenovela-esque drama. My father disowned my brother for cutting into the family business and I have been "banned" from inviting him which I probably would have, had he not called me to curse me out.

My mother and father recently separated so my mother keeps telling me she "only hopes this is my one and only wedding". That’s not the most mortifying part. She also says how we girls "should stick together and be single". I thought she was joking, but no she is not. I have the fifteen voicemails to prove it.

Thirdly, my recently divorced sister said she won't be attending and how inconsiderate of us to get married while she's trying to get her life together. As you can tell, it’s my family causing the most trouble since we got engaged. It would not be an issue if only my winter wedding was not a few months away and the drama is only intensifying.

My mother made a scene at the in-laws' lunch, calling my future mother-in-law "a white, nosey bat". Now my mother-in-law does not feel safe around her. My brother also recently stole some clients from the family business so my father is only tightening the strict banning on my brother. Lastly, my sister has decided not attending isn't enough.

She is forcing one of my vendors to choose between doing business with my fiancé and I or being friends with her. Safe to say, I can finally have my "screw this, let's elope" fantasy out loud now. For twenty people, this is an expensive and emotionally costly event.

Tacosoverdrakos

5. Happily Ever Three Days After

houses on isletPhoto by Rayyu Maldives on Unsplash

Basically, my ex-girlfriend's boss left his wife ON THEIR HONEYMOON, because she and he were having an affair. They had the wedding and flew off to Bali, but he was sneaking off into the bathroom to send my then-girlfriend intimate pics…from his honeymoon. I saw one of the pictures and confronted her.

She admitted to it and messaged him back to tell him that I had found out. His reaction was seriously deranged. My understanding is that he basically came out of the bathroom, told his wife, "I think this was a mistake. We shouldn't have gotten married”, got on a plane, and flew home. Left her there on her own. On her honeymoon. With no explanation.

In the end, I had to be the one to go over to her place and tell her what had really happened because he wouldn't own up to it. So I think the marriage lasted all of about three days.

ImhereforAB

6. Grow Up

man in black suit jacketPhoto by Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash

My best friends were not able to have a big wedding as planned, so they decided to just get married at the registry office and have a big wedding when the pandemic is over. They were allowed to bring eight people with them because of the restrictions, and they wanted to have a small celebration afterward in the backyard of the bride’s parents’ house with the closest family.

Even though it was just a small wedding, they requested everybody to dress properly: men at least with a nice shirt, better a suit; women in a nice summer/cocktail dress or blouse. The groom’s brother told them that he NEEDS to be with them at the registry office, otherwise it would be unfair. Because he wished to be there, they planned to bring both their parents.

So for the registry office, it was gonna be the four parents, the maid of honor, the best man, and both their eldest brothers. The groom has no more siblings, and the bride has three siblings in total. The big day came and everybody was getting ready at the house of the bride’s parents. The groom’s brother arrived with his wife and daughter from a two-hour drive away.

Most of the people were already in their nice clothes and the brother was "surprised" everybody dressed so nicely. He wore sweatpants and a t-shirt. Even his wife and daughter did bring dresses, even though they were "just" at the celebration afterward. He said he did not know about the dress code and blamed his wife for not reminding him—which she did for sure.

The groom ended up driving home (even though they were short on time) to find a suit for his brother. He found one, so his brother was wearing one of his slightly-too-big suits, a shirt, and shoes from the bride’s dad. But still, he insisted he had to come with them to the registry office and showed up in sweatpants. In my eyes, this wasn't even a proper outfit for a normal day.

The whole morning was about him, because a grown man wasn't able to think of a proper outfit for a wedding.

Wrong_Signature2701

7. The Long Con

a woman in a long dress leaning against a wallPhoto by Lance Reis on Unsplash

This story started years ago…. on the day I was born. See, my big sister was the “baby” of the family before I was born. I came along just weeks before she turned nine years old, and almost every day since then it has been a competition between us. When I was in seventh-grade science, I aced science class. On a major test, I was able to name all the major muscles in the body.

At that time, my big sister was a nursing student. My mother asked me not to flaunt my success because my sister was “sad” over not doing as well. Almost every shirt, pair of jeans, etc, I bought, with my own money, ended up on her side of the closet because she “liked it”. My mom clearly favors her, although she will deny it.

Step into the time machine to 20 years ago, when my husband and I got married. Mom wanted every detail of my wedding to be just like my big sister’s. The invitations had to look like hers, the colors of the bridal party had to look the same, the first dance had to be the same song. After decades of living in my sister’s shadow, I finally put my foot down.

I threatened to elope rather than have a church wedding. My mom is very religious, so that was my trump card. She caved, and I was able to get what I wanted. Finally. My big sister was the matron of honor, not by my choice—but because my mom didn’t want my BFF from high school, someone I had been almost a real sister to for over a decade, to take the place of a blood sibling.

During the ceremony, big sis did the first reading. This was about ten minutes after I walked down the aisle and was sitting at the altar with my hubby. I had no idea what she had up her sleeve. My jaw dropped when she announced, before the bible verse, “This is one of the best days of my life. I’m so proud to see my baby sister finally get married, but this morning I found out I’m pregnant”.

There was a scattering of slow but polite applause on my hubby’s side, and my mom almost ran to the podium to embrace her. Even on my side of the church, with my other siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, etc, was quiet. Dad was happy but looked angry. In the video of the wedding, which we watched later, you could clearly hear me say to hubby, “Are you kidding me”?

The rest of the ceremony, big sis cradled her flat tummy. But the story doesn’t end there. Time ticked on, and she never started to show. When mom asked her about it, big sis said she “must have misread the test” because she got her period two days after my wedding. Keep in mind that she is a nurse and it would have been her third pregnancy.

She brushed it off and shrugged her shoulders when a family member said it wasn’t the time to make the announcement. Her husband moved out of the house because of the drama, along with their two toddlers. The divorce soon followed. Last year, my big sister got remarried. It was her third marriage, and even though dad had passed on years earlier, she wanted the entire dramatic walk down the aisle.

She wanted me to be the matron of honor. She was VERY specific about the details of how I would look. I refused to have my mid-back-length hair cut into a bob. I hit the gym for hours almost every day and was able to fit into the backless dress in a size I hadn’t been since high school. It took months, but after 20 years and four kids of my own, I did it. It was an uphill battle.

At the last fitting for my dress, she took a close look at my skin and demanded that I take care of my dry skin so I would look perfect. The day of the ceremony came along, and I was the only member of the bridal party to walk down the aisle. My hair was in a beautiful updo, showing off my back, from the base of my skull to just above my butt.

It was a chilly day, so I kept my coat on until right before I walked. The groom’s side of the church was mostly silent, and there were a few chuckles on our side, but mom let out a gasp when she saw my new tattoos—which completely covered my back—every inch that the dress didn’t cover—and my new tatted “sleeves”. She was furious and shot me angry looks throughout the ceremony.

The tattoos, all henna, washed off within a few days. Revenge is a dish best served cold. And cooked low and slow.

Jenny8765309

8. Too Close For Comfort

man in white and blue crew neck t-shirtPhoto by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash

My partner and I just got engaged this weekend. We already talked about what we would want our wedding to be like and have a pretty good idea what we are going for. We have a rough plan for the location, catering, dress code, and the wedding date. Instead of congratulating us, my brother-in-law went on a rant about us being inconsiderate towards him and his fiancé.

They got engaged in 2020 and are getting married in spring 2022. We are planning to get married in the fall of the same year. According to him, we are destroying his year by also getting married. We assured him several times that we are not planning on getting married before him and also don’t want to get married anywhere close to his wedding date.

Having to justify when we get married felt a little ridiculous to me. My future mother-in-law decided to also tell my fiancé that he should wait longer because it was so unfair that we were getting married 4-5 months after his younger brother did. She also proceeded to tell him that she thought my parents had paid him to marry me which is first of all untrue and second of all extremely hurtful.

We don’t even have invitations yet but the way they behave seriously makes me want to burn theirs.

stormskyy_11

9. The Final Boss Of Mother-In-Laws

woman in white dress standing in front of red flowersPhoto by Elise Wilcox on Unsplash

My mother-in-law is a nice lady but something happens to her when a wedding is announced and she just loses her head.

Here's a list of the crazy things she's tried to pull during three of her son's weddings. My mother-in-law has tried to wear "cream" dresses to all three of her son’s weddings. Some were even lace. Some have sequins and rhinestones. Some were the palest of beige leaning into "champagne”.

She is a nice lady but I don’t know what gets into her head during weddings. She did wear that palest champagne dress to one of them. The bride was too fed up to deal with it anymore. At one wedding she tried to wear a full-length white fishtail ball gown with gold sequined embellishments and rhinestones. The bride burst into tears.

After the first dress debacle, which resulted in a very reserved bride in tears in front of everyone days before the wedding, every couple has pretty much tried to ban her from any further planning participation in their weddings. They devise whole strategies of trying to keep the weddings from her. Whole groups of people practice strategies to not give her information, so she can't mess it up.

Nonetheless, she persists. I've even had to tell her she can't wear what was a girl’s junior-sized mini dress to one of the weddings. The dress was tiny. Maybe a less than 5’ tall teen girl could have worn it appropriately. If she bent down or danced at all, as she is known to do, she would have shamed herself. I’m not being prudish. Ladies can wear short dresses.

Mothers of the groom don't need full-length gowns. She and I are the same height. There was no way it was long enough. We would have all seen her expose herself. And there are other incidents, too. She has shown up with her own dessert and appetizers to one of the weddings. There were four full-sized industrial baking sheets of food.

Her food was not properly refrigerated and in full sun. The event was fully catered by staff. Neither dessert nor appetizers had been asked for. The baking sheets were covered in tin foil and placed on the formal dessert table. This was not like a cookie table some people do, no one was asked to bring food for this wedding. She just decided to start catering it herself.

Her dessert was baked into the tin foil and she messed up the recipe badly. She can make this dessert well, but messed up and brought it anyways to the wedding despite knowing she messed it up. The making of these unwanted goods meant she was an hour late for the wedding and almost missed the wedding in the first place.

She had started these food trays the morning of...again, no one asked for this. She also tried to change the flowers for one wedding, while the bride and groom were overseas. This caused a ton of obvious tension and stress. She also scheduled a vendor at the reception from her personal friend as a "favor to the couple" and the vendor ended up charging the couple thousands for basic service that they didn’t realize they were paying for.

It was ridiculously above market price even for a wedding. They got scammed by her friend. Obviously, they were very annoyed to discover this on their wedding day. For one of the weddings, she decided to throw a huge day before the wedding day party for the whole family, against the couple’s wishes. And throw another huge party the day after the wedding party for the whole family again, against the couple's wishes.

They felt obliged to show up and they really wanted to destress before and after. At another wedding, she went and bought all this decor from thrift stores without the bride's permission. She wanted to be reimbursed for all of it. And yes, some thrift store stuff can be really cool. But this stuff was not. It was junk. So much so that she was storing it on her porch because she didn't want it in her house because it was so dusty and filled with cobwebs.

Well, that was the final straw for the bride. She decided to cancel her own wedding and delayed it for a whole year months before her wedding so they could reschedule everything without the mother-in-law being involved. She wasn't invited to be with the bride when she got ready that day. I don’t think she’s ever been invited to go wedding dress shopping with one of her future daughters-in-law.

Gee, I wonder why?

veggiedelightful

10. Mean Girl

woman doing posePhoto by Rafaella Mendes Diniz on Unsplash

There’s a lot of drama with my fiancé’s sister. She’s always been rude to me and I don’t know why. When I first met her she seemed nice and I liked her, my fiancé’s friends told me to be careful because she always acts that way at the beginning and then she shows her true colors, which she did.

Even my fiancé told me not to trust her and not share much with her because she tends to use and twist whatever she sees and hears from other people. Despite all that, I always treated her with respect and was nice to her, until I got tired of her behavior.

She started with mean looks, mean comments about my accent to other people, not saying hi to me when she saw me, completely ignoring my presence and talking to whoever was next to me but not me, and then she started making comments about my family (we all speak Spanish so we have an accent when we speak in English).

She started saying things to my fiancé like, “Do you even understand what they are saying”?, which he ignored, then she one day just closed the front door when I was walking towards it after watching me struggle with grocery bags, complaining to her friends about how much she wanted me to go away even though I was engaged to her brother.

She's constantly making offensive jokes at lunch with her grandparents, she even insulted me in Spanish and when I called her out for it, she just laughed and ignored me. My fiancé has talked to her multiple times, but nothing changed, she just got defensive and started yelling at him, which seems to be what she does whenever someone tells her something she doesn’t like.

Despite all that, I tried to be civil around her for her parents’ sake since we get along really well and love spending time together. That was until one night she went off on me. It started when her parents mentioned our upcoming wedding.

We were talking about guests and she started saying who should go and who shouldn’t, how I should think about their family and not mine when it came to guests (mind you, there will be three times more people from my fiancé’s side than mine), all of this because she wanted to invite her friends, so we tried to tell her that it was our wedding and it was our decision to see who we invite.

She said, “Well, we are paying for it”, which is not true, my fiancé's parents offered to help pay for the wedding and we are incredibly grateful for that, but she’s not giving us anything. She even went as far as saying, “We are just doing this because of your dad”, and that set me off.

A little background: my dad can’t come to the US because he doesn’t have a visa so my fiancé and I decided to do our wedding in Cabo. It was our decision because of course I have to have my dad at my wedding, and Cabo is a beautiful place for a destination wedding.

Going back to that night, after she said that, I just lost it on her. Things went bad really quick. She started yelling, I raised my voice because I was not going to let her talk about my family and wouldn’t let her yell at me, and then my fiancé and I left. We saw her only once after that (of course, she never said hi to me or acknowledged my presence), and we avoided her since then.

Now our wedding is coming up in five months and, of course, she’s going. We didn’t want to invite her but we knew we had to in order to avoid a fight with his parents, but now we just really don’t want to have her there because we know how much she likes to start drama. We’re even more anxious because we rented a villa so both families can be together and make a vacation out of it.

We’ll have it for a full week but we totally forgot about having to deal with her, and now we’re regretting it. My mother-in-law said her daughter will only go for the wedding, but it turns out she decided to go for the full week and made (yes, made), her dad buy her a plane ticket for those dates.

Her mom suggested that we could have a sit-down talk with her to talk about these issues and make sure we “clear the air” so nothing happens during our wedding week, but she also said she can’t promise it’ll go smoothly because her daughter is very difficult to deal with, and I don’t know if I want to do that.

I really don’t want to see her again because I know it’ll turn into a fight if we decide to have that talk, I don’t feel like I want to deal with that.

No_Attention_3308

11. Getting A Head Start On The Drama

brides and bridesmaid looking at the backPhoto by Fernanda Nuso on Unsplash

My wedding is in a few weeks and my bachelorette party was this past weekend. Months ago, when deciding on the trip, I asked everyone if the city we went to worked for everyone, and what price everyone would be comfortable with for an Airbnb. I also mentioned it was entirely optional and that I know it’s a big ask and would completely understand if anyone wanted to or needed to decline.

Everyone seemed excited and wanted to do it. So we all agreed on the city and Airbnb, so I asked everyone to let me know if there was anything anyone did or did not want to do while we were there so I could make an itinerary for us. My sister is my MOH and is a college student so I didn’t want to burden her with planning the trip and figured my other bridesmaids could help me plan.

Long story short, I sent an itinerary to the group a few weeks before the trip asking if it looked okay and to let me know if I should change or add anything. I included time for a scenic hike, pool time (it’s warm this time of year where we were), going downtown/shopping, karaoke bar, etc. I reserved all of our brunch, happy hour, and dinner spots.

I tried to go for more of a girls' weekend away versus a wild bachelorette party. Nothing wrong with a crazier bachelorette party but that’s not really my personality and my friends know that. The consensus from everyone on the itinerary was pretty much “That sounds good, thanks for sending”! No one made any other suggestions to me after I sent the itinerary or in the few months leading up to the trip, so I figured we would go with what I came up with. I was so, so wrong.

Basically, two of my bridesmaids ended up undermining the plan I came up with the entire time and we ended up not doing some of the outings I suggested because they didn’t want to, which is fine, but then wouldn’t offer alternatives. I also feel like they should have let me know back when I sent the itinerary so we could have come up with a different plan and things to do.

And it didn’t end there. One of my other bridesmaids told me that the whole weekend, these two were talking bad about me behind my back, and were mad at me and saying that I didn’t plan a good enough trip for them, etc—just saying some really mean things about me and the trip.

Without going into too much detail as this is already long, one of them was basically just in an obviously horrible mood the whole weekend and the other one snapped at me at one point over me not calling an Uber five minutes earlier than I did.

She caused a scene that ruined the evening while we were out on Saturday that caused us to end the evening early and head back to the Airbnb. That’s not even the worst part.

They were also apparently upset that I didn’t get sashes for everyone to wear or plan an expensive party bus or something. Which maybe I did drop the ball on some of that, but they could have suggested those things and if everyone was down we could have done them.

It seems like they expected me (the bride) to plan their perfect weekend without actually telling me what they wanted to do. I was always under the impression this weekend was more about what the bride wants while of course also being a fun weekend for everyone else too. It seems they have a different take on bachelorette trips/weekends.

Anyway, my feelings are definitely hurt and I honestly don’t know how to proceed from here. These are (I guess I should say were now) good friends of mine so I’m really confused. Part of me is worried they will behave this way on my wedding day and I feel like maybe I should respectfully ask them to step down from being bridesmaids and offer to reimburse them for their dresses.

Part of me also thinks doing that this close to the wedding might just create more stress and I should just leave them as bridesmaids but maybe nicely ask my other bridesmaids to keep them in check on my wedding day. The bridesmaid that informed me of their behavior already said she would do this for me.

Then once the wedding is over I will probably let the “friendships” with these two fizzle out. I would rather focus on my friendships with people who care about me instead of people that treated me like this, especially during what should be one of the greatest times in my life.

It’s unfortunate that they ruined it, but at the end of the day, it’s just a bachelorette party. I’m staying positive and focusing on the fact that I get to marry my best friend in a few short weeks!

Frankstar20

12. She Needs A Taste Of Her Own Medicine

woman in floral-themed cardigan leaning on fence in bokeh photographyPhoto by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

This is driving me absolutely insane. My mother will NOT stop trying to insert her friends into my wedding. Our budget is a firm 15k, so we are cutting a ton of corners and one of those is obviously our guest list. The 15k is our money, all my mother is doing is having it at her house to show off her property. She is, so far, only paying for our day-of coordinator.

However, she keeps trying to guilt trip us into inviting her friends because they’ll give us money. They’re family friends, so I don’t truly mind, but like...I already cut friends of mine off of the list. But that’s not even the craziest part. Just today, she came up to my fiancée and told (not asked, TOLD) her that her friend wanted to come to our taste testing.

Like, what? It’s a taste testing after business hours! If you want to get food with your friend, go out to dinner! My fiancée told her no and she was so taken aback. I am terrified of this happening more and more as we approach our wedding next June.

stereolights

13. Notice Of Termination

three women walking on brown wooden dock near high rise building during daytimePhoto by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

One of my oldest friends and I have been drifting apart over the past three or four years. She's been a bit...weird, to put it nicely. When my fiancé and I got engaged, she texted me and started asking me about what she was wearing as a bridesmaid, etc. The thing is, I hadn't planned on asking her. But, I tend to be too nice, and a bit of a push-over, so I let her join the wedding party.

Yes, I realize that was my initial mess-up. So over the past year, she has become almost unbearable. She has stopped working and refuses to work at all anymore. She has self-diagnosed herself with: PTSD (allegedly from being "tickled too much" as a child), autism, and narcolepsy, along with a slew of other things. The crazy thing is, she doesn't have any of these things.

No doctor has confirmed it, and she switched therapists a couple of times, trying to find someone who would. She's been trying to get disability for these alleged ailments, so that she never has to work again. In the meantime, she has been mooching off her friends and family. She gets people to buy her all sorts of frivolous things; books, lingerie, vape supplies, art supplies, a $500 treadmill—the list goes on.

I've made SO many excuses for her because of our history together. I could probably ignore all that craziness if she hadn't been causing wedding drama too. The dresses I selected for the bridesmaids cost $30. Not $130. $30. I understand that she doesn't have money due to being unemployed, but that's her choice. She has had two years to save for this dress.

I've been gently reminding her to buy her dress over the past couple of months, since our wedding is coming up soon, but she's never got money. Honestly, I feel like if she can get someone to buy her a $500 treadmill and other expensive things she should be able to find a way to get a $30 dress. Not to mention, she owns her own house, lots of name-brand clothes, electronics, and a NEW MERCEDES.

She keeps dropping hints to the rest of the wedding party, hoping someone will pay for her. She's making everyone uncomfortable and angry. And on top of that, she's been messaging my maid of honor, who's planning my bachelorette party, and bossing her around, telling her what is and isn't allowed at the party, etc. It's not her party. So yesterday, I had finally had enough.

I told her, as politely as I possibly could, that she was demoted. I tried to take most of the blame and told her it was based on my own anxieties, and the fact that I felt guilty about adding to her stress and financial burden. Suddenly, she could MAGICALLY pay for everything and wanted to buy her dress. I told her I was sorry, but I'd made my decision and left it at that.

She's been bombarding me with texts and calls ever since, guilt-tripping me and gaslighting me relentlessly. My fiancé, the rest of the wedding party, and my family all encouraged me and thought I made the right choice. If everyone agrees that it was the right thing, then why do I feel so awful? I don't want to let her back in, but I feel terrible...or at least I did until she called my fiancé about it.

creneh1992

14. Stealing The Spotlight

woman in white floral off shoulder dress smilingPhoto by NATHAN MULLET on Unsplash

At my wedding shower, my future bro-in-law and his wife (who got married in April) show up wearing matching Mr and Mrs Shirts. They then promptly seated themselves on the bench at the head of the table that had balloons and decor tied to it for my fiancé and I to sit at during dinner. But it didn't end there.

After we ate, they then moved to the love seat that was sitting in front of the balloon arch and banner that was meant to be for my fiancé and I to open gifts in front of. There was plenty of seating at this shower and yet they waltzed in like they were the main characters.

I was just so irritated but my fiancé says they didn't mean anything by it and I'm overreacting. I didn't say anything to them, but now I'm afraid of what they may do at the wedding.

KatronMarmalade

15. The Big Green Monster

woman in black crew neck shirtPhoto by Maria Lysenko on Unsplash

My future sister-in-law is not a teenager. She's in her early 30s and can't stand that her brother and I are getting more attention than her. My future husband and I hate being in the spotlight for any reason, and aren't really talking about the wedding with anyone other than my amazing mother-in-law who is a professional wedding planner. But at Easter (we went to lunch with his side of the family) a few people asked questions.

Nothing crazy, but asking if a certain outfit would be appropriate, if I have a dress yet, stuff like that. Which I (and everyone else there) consider pretty normal for casual conversation. But not my fiancé's sister. This woman can't stand for there to be attention on anyone other than her.

She interrupted my husband’s grandmother asking about my venue to show us pictures of her cats. The same pictures she showed me the past three times I've seen her. His aunt asked about what I'll be wearing. Before I could answer, she started talking about how "she can't wear heels because she's so tall". How this was relevant I don't know.

But then she started showing off her options for outfits. All of them were either all black or white, for our spring wedding. I know she was looking for a reaction, and I nearly bit through my tongue trying to not give it to her.

But what upset me the most was whenever anyone brought up anything to do with our relationship (the wedding, our marriage, moving in together, etc) she immediately shoehorned her recent (relatively speaking, it happened in November of last year) breakup into the conversation.

They weren't in a super committed relationship, they had been dating on and off, and he just ended the possibility of them getting back together. Not saying that makes it any less heartbreaking, but I didn't think it was appropriate to talk about her break-up from six months ago during a conversation about someone else's wedding.

Like, why can’t she just be happy for us? I've gone out of my way to be nice to her, I made sweaters for those stupid cats to try and get her to like me. But us getting married is a threat to her getting attention, so I'm clearly the enemy.

cottagecore_citty

16. Work-Life Balance

woman in pink tank top and blue denim jeans sitting on yellow chairPhoto by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

I asked my friend of five years to be the maid of honor, she says yes and I let her know the date of the engagement party a month before anyone else. She RSVPs on the invite as going—but two days before the event, she changes to "maybe going". I message her asking if everything is okay and if she got sick. She said she's fine but scared of large crowds, because of Covid.

I tell her not a worry and if she wants to meet for coffee nearby cause we live close to each other. She says she doesn't have the time with her busy schedule. The day after the engagement party, I see that people have tagged her in photos of some food blogger event that is an indoor restaurant that has 40+ people. So I felt betrayed and lied to, but wanted to clear the air.

I asked: “I have been wondering if everything is okay between us”? She replied: “Yep I've been busy”. I said: “It’s just I feel like you have been trying to avoid me lately, and I saw you tagged in photos at restaurants the day after my engagement and I feel cut that you lied to me about being scared of going out”. Her reply was infuriating.

She told me: “What I do with social media is my work. My content and other people's content who tags me is not on 'the day'. It's not even live. They are planned, edited, and promoted content. I'm sorry I cannot live up to your expectations of being available. I should not feel obligated to keep you posted with what I do or be there when you want me to. I have my full-time job as well as my content creation job and networking”. But the worst line of all was yet to come.

She said: “I do this every day and it is difficult to make time for non-content creators”. I said thanks for clarifying—and then she blocked me.

Defiant_Ad6882

17. Hunting For A New Father Figure

man in orange and black backpackPhoto by Matthew Maaskant on Unsplash

My boyfriend and I are planning on getting married this November because we’re moving to a different country due to my boyfriend’s new job offer. We’re very excited to start our lives together so we started telling our family, most of whom are very happy for us. I told my dad we are getting married this November and that I’m very excited to start our life together.

His response was devastating. He told me: “November? No, that’s no good for me. I mean, you have to change the date. You know that November is hunting season and you know I never miss it. I can’t risk saying I’ll be at your wedding and then let you down when I don’t show up because I’m hunting”.

At first, I didn’t even understand what he meant, so I just said, “Well, let me know if you can make it”. But then after I pondered on what he said I became very sad, my very own dad can’t compromise to go to my wedding because he might be going on a camping trip that day. I’m his firstborn and I can’t believe he said that to my face.

Mostly I can’t believe I didn’t stand up for myself and uninvite him from my wedding. He has always been selfish, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get over his initial reaction.

marianavc98

18. You Had One Job

round white floral 4-tiered fondant cakePhoto by Thomas William on Unsplash

My husband and I got married last week. I had been super chill throughout the whole wedding planning and during the actual event. Because I know bad stuff happens and if anything goes wrong, or not exactly how we wanted, it's not that big of a deal and may even make the wedding more memorable for the guests. The one thing that I told my husband I didn't want to happen was I didn't want him smashing cake in my face.

I had a suspicion that he would find it funny to do it, so, during the planning, I flat out told him not to do it. I don't think it's funny, I don't want to mess up my makeup that took hours to apply, and I don't want cake on my expensive wedding dress. I told him I would be livid if he did it. He promised that he wouldn't. Well, come the cake cutting time, what did he do?

Smashed the cake in my face! It got on my dress, and messed up my makeup, just like I knew it would. I'm pretty sure his friends convinced him to do it, not that that makes it any better. I kept it together, went and cleaned myself up, and put on a smile for the rest of the reception. But afterward, I let loose on him.

I yelled at him that this was the ONE THING I asked him not to do, and he promised that he wouldn't. He told me I was being dramatic, that it's not a big deal, and we should just be enjoying our time as newlyweds. So was I being overly dramatic?

Key-Hovercraft-8396

19. November Rain

smiling newly wed couple about to kiss in green fieldPhoto by Elvis Bekmanis on Unsplash

We’ve been together for three years. We started wedding planning in October 2019. My mom and I have always been close, I thought the wedding wouldn't change that. I was so, so wrong.

At the start of wedding planning, she had opinions about EVERYTHING. My parents got married in November, my fiancé and I met in November, so we wanted to have a November wedding. I never wanted a summer wedding or anything outdoors because you can't trust Ohio.

Naturally, my mom had a fit that we wanted to be married in November, cue "It'll be cold. It gets dark at 7 pm you'll have to do pictures early...it's close to Thanksgiving". I can't tell if she had regrets from her own November wedding or what. Then, looking at venues was a nightmare.

She only ever thought about our side of the family and never considered my fiancé’s side when it came to distance and how far people would drive to the venue. When we finally found a venue she complained about us wanting to have an open bar, because our side of the family are not heavy drinkers. The rest of us however like the occasional beverage and want to have a fun wedding.

My fiancé’s parents stepped in and offered to pay for the bar so that way she wouldn't have a say in it anymore. And that’s not the most infuriating part. She keeps upping the guest list with people I don't know and don't want to attend, then complains about how expensive the wedding is getting. I try to explain "more people=more money" but then she suggests cutting my friends list.

Lastly, COVID-19. I was leaning toward postponing the wedding for everyone's safety. My mother feels like she's "lost a year of her life" with the shutdown and restrictions. People were actually losing their lives over the virus and she complains she's lost a year of her's because she can't go to the movies. My fiancé’s grandmother doesn't plan on attending which is a huge deal to me.

When I tell her the option of having a small immediate family-only ceremony this year (she states that the family will be divided and offended if not all my extended cousins come to the small ceremony) and then a reception a year later, she states that it won't be "special" and wants the full effect of my dad walking me down the aisle.

When I tell her we can do another vow renewal type ceremony next year (for the extended cousins and everyone else not invited to the small ceremony) she states it won't be the same since we'll already be married. There is no winning here. I hate not having support from her and feel like no matter what I do someone will be disappointed. I know I can't please everyone.

Fun-Reputation4369

20. Sew Annoying

woman in black and white floral dress sitting on black carPhoto by Taylor Deas-Melesh on Unsplash

Okay, so my mom has been an absolute NIGHTMARE to deal with. From refusing any dress I liked, to demanding she walk me down the aisle since my parents are divorced, to freaking out over us having a sweetheart table instead of a head table, to causing a scene at my bridal shower and crying because I took a picture with my mother-in-law.

So she finally bought a dress at the most expensive boutique in town. Proceeds to hold it over my head for a few months that she’d better be in “all the pictures since she spent soooo much money on her dress”. This dress has been in for a few weeks now, and I’ve encouraged her to get it altered a few times as it’s a very layered dress and prom season is coming up.

The wedding is exactly four weeks from today. She texted me today that she had gone to get her dress altered. She said it was “huge” in both the chest and the waist. Then informs that SHE'S WAITING THREE WEEKS TO GET IT ALTERED BECAUSE SHE PLANS TO LOSE 20lbs.

Now, keep in mind my mom eats out every single day and drinks alcohol like it’s water. She doesn’t exercise. Her weight loss plan? She’s going back to work next week so she’ll be walking more.

I tried to explain to her it takes longer than a week to get a dress altered. She began to argue with me stating that “The seamstress says it’ll only take an hour, they do alterations right at the dress shop”. She refuses to give in. She says there’s no point in getting started on alterations now when she’s going to lose all that weight (which, for the record, she has been saying since she BOUGHT the dress and hasn’t lost any).

Then she changed her story to, “Well, it’ll only take like two stitches since it pretty much fits”. She absolutely refuses to listen to me that she needs to begin alterations, and she can’t wait till the week before the wedding. I’m seriously so frustrated at this point I feel like my head is going to explode.

heysharkdontdothat

21. A Black And White Issue

girl wearing white sleeveless dress beside balloonsPhoto by Senjuti Kundu on Unsplash

I’m really torn by this. My brother is about to be married. I am one of the groomsmen. My wife had informed me that our daughter, who is three, will be wearing a white dress to the wedding. I wasn’t sure if this was appropriate as I thought it was mainly brides and flower girls who would wear white. My wife didn’t care if any little girls wore white at our own wedding and others that she know say they don’t care.

My daughter will be the only child attending amongst about 80ish guests as she is the only grandchild in either family. There are no flower girls or page boys participating in the wedding. I try to be considerate as possible, as obviously it’s not my wedding, so I asked my brother whether there’s an issue with it. And he says it will be. White is strictly for the bride, which I respect.

Her wedding, her rules. And I don’t want any dramas. My wife’s reaction was chilling. She’s calling me out on it, calling me all sorts of names. Saying that I should’ve stood up for my daughter. Saying I should’ve kept my mouth shut and not mentioned anything and just showed up with her wearing her white dress. She wants the bride and groom to pay for a new dress (which was a hand-me-down from the beginning).

I am fine to go and get another dress but now it seems she won’t back down out of principle. I feel I did the right thing. But my wife’s reaction makes it seem like it wasn’t.

permalink

22. Control Freak

woman in green, gold, and red sari dress hiding her right eye while smilingPhoto by Bella Pon Fruitsia on Unsplash

My husband and I are getting married in June, My S.O. is half Scottish, half Indian and my grandma has used disgusting language toward my her because of it. For this reason, she is not invited to the wedding. But she’s not the only problem. My mom is a complete narcissist. She mistreated and neglected me until the age of nine when she abandoned me completely.

My only contact with her from the age of eight until 17 was an occasional letter. I was raised by my grandma. Mom and grandma have always hated each other. My mom however is insisting that she and Grandma have the right to be there. She has basically said that there is nothing I can do to stop them from turning up and I had better accept that.

She is insisting that she be placed in charge so she can fix the mistakes I've made in the planning. She's tried to cancel my venue in order to find a more appropriate one. The decor I've chosen is tacky owing to the fact that I have integrated some of the colorful elements of a traditional Indian wedding including music, and whoever heard of carnations rather than roses for a wedding. Somehow, it gets even more offensive.

In addition, she is insisting that Indian dishes in the buffet will make the whole place smell. My future husband wanted me to wear a sari for the wedding, but I wanted something more western so we came to the compromise that I would wear a white wedding gown for the actual ceremony and then a sari for the reception. This of course is not acceptable to mom, who thinks that since I have recently discovered that I'm pregnant, a white dress is inappropriate—as is the sari.

I have told her that I've spent a year planning this wedding and it is not about her. I am happy with the details as I've planned them and I will not be changing them. She told me that it was going to be a disaster and I would look back and be ashamed of my wedding day. I retorted that it was a chance I would take. I told her that she had her chance to plan her own four weddings and she was so unhappy with my plans she could feel free not to come.

She proceeded to have a full-on meltdown—and what she said was seriously deranged. She was saying that as the mother of the bride it was her special day and now it would be ruined. I reminded her that it was my special day not hers and told her that I only wanted happy supportive family members at the wedding.

It was then leaked to her via another family member what I plan to name my baby. Well, that really set her off. She said giving her such an Indian name was tantamount to negligence. I got over 200 calls emails, texts, and DMs from both her and my grandmother that didn't stop till 4 am. She showed up at my job the next day, having a full-on Karen-esque meltdown.

When I refused to comply with her wishes. I told her to calm down or I would have to call the authorities. She proceeded to destroy my office. My lamp and laptop were broken, office supplies, files, and coffee flew everywhere. I tried to leave the room but she pushed me down. Luckily, one of my colleagues had called 9-1-1 and they took her in.

Meanwhile, at my house, my grandmother had somehow convinced a locksmith to let her into my house. Various food stocks and spices were all over my kitchen and the tandoori (Indian cooking oven) was broken. She wrote several horrible slurs all over my walls in condiments. My house was trashed. My fiancé was livid, he was the maddest I have seen him, and he is not a man prone to temper.

When I got home I was in tears over the mess. His family came over to help tidy. Obviously, we called the authorities on grandma and then we will be suing the locksmith. I've gotten a restraining order and blocked them from my phone and all social media.

In my family, we do a thing called shedding the skin, an Irish wedding tradition, before a wedding. Basically, we make a list of our emotional baggage and burn it over a bonfire symbolically getting rid of it. The theory is that you can't start a new life while holding on to the past.

It's a bit of a party and members of his family and mine were present—but of course, neither my mother nor grandma. I posted a few pics from the event on social media. This morning my cousin called and told me my mother had created a fake account and stolen the pics. She then posted them on FB like they were her pics.

The post said something about "the rehearsal dinner for my darling daughter's wedding" and loads of people had sent her good wishes and congrats. That’s not even the craziest part. She even photoshopped herself into a few—very badly. She then contacted my future sister-in-law and gave her a list of the “disgusting” things I allow my fiancé to do in intimate situations—most of which were lies and none of which is her business.

She then told her that she and her husband were uninvited unless he shaved his beard. She just doesn’t stop!

rowenaravenclaw01

23. An Object Lesson

man in gray suit and woman in white wedding dressPhoto by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash

My sister got engaged about two years ago. I don’t hate her. We were never the closest of sisters due to our age difference but we didn’t hate each other.

Her fiancé (now husband) is a great man. I really am happy for them. So fast forward to the wedding ceremony, when the priest finally said, “Are there any objections,” I stood up and said, “I object (long pause) because this couple is way too cute for each other”! I had no idea the chaos I would stir up.

I really just said it as a joke. I thought it was something we could all laugh about at reception. But I could visibly see the color drain off my sister’s face the moment I stood up. After I finished my little joke, I didn’t really get any laughs. My sister looked away, pretending that she didn’t care but I knew she probably did. I sat down and the ceremony continued.

At the reception, I went to my sister and congratulated her, but she absolutely blew up. She told me my joke wasn’t funny and that I ruined her mood, her happiness, and her special day. I was shocked. It literally wasn’t even that big of a deal. I was joking, not actually objecting. I argued back with those points and she just walked away from me.

This morning, I woke up with tons of notifications from my family members saying I’m a jerk for doing that. But I think everyone was just overreacting, it was truly just a joke.

permalink

24. Upstaging The Upstager

woman wearing black and yellow floral tube-neckline dressPhoto by Danie Franco on Unsplash

My half-sister "Heather" and I never really got along. We both are 24. My father left my mother for her mother and we were born the same month 20 days apart. It has always been weird. It doesn't help that Heather's mom hates me and my mom. By extension, Heather and I didn't have the best relationship.

She has always tried to one-up me. Even though we both have a similar economic background. I can give examples of this but for the sake of the word limit won't write them here. So now my fiancé and I got engaged last month and had our engagement party this Saturday. We had planned it originally as a casual-formal event. Nice dresses but not "I am going to the Met gala ball" nice. More like "We are going to a good restaurant" nice.

Anyway, my cousin says she has to show me something. It was a picture of the dress Heather was going to wear. This dress...Jesus. It can only be described as opulent. It was long and white. Strapless with sewn-in "crystals" and golden accents. I'm pretty sure it's a wedding dress but I can't be 100 percent.

This made me really mad. So I decided…not happening. And I came up with a plan. I started texting people telling them that there had been a change of plans. And that instead of casual formal I decided to make a costume party. My mother's side is crazy for Halloween so they were immediately on board. I told my father via text, and asked for him to relay the message to Heather and her mother—knowing full well that he would forget or leave it to the last minute.

Saturday comes along. Guests start showing up. Most of them in costumes. Some didn't have time to get one. We just provided them with fun hats and cheap wigs. Heather, my dad, and her mother come one hour late. As soon as she notices that everyone was either wearing elaborate costumes or weird accessories and she didn't stand out, she lost it.

Especially when my fiancé came along and inadvertently twisted the knife in. He told her that "her bride dress looked amazing for a cheap costume". She left crying and her mother and my father told me that I was being childish and I could have told Heather myself and not have tasked my father. Whoops!

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25. Photoshop The Whole Man Out

man holding camera taking photosPhoto by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Me and my fiancé Aaron are getting married soon, We got done with wedding planning—although my future mother-in-law basically disagreed with every arrangement we had. But a whole new issue came up recently.

Aaron and I were discussing the wedding photos and my facial scar that I had in my early 20s came up. Aaron suggested that we have this area of my face (where my scar is located) photoshopped, I laughed thinking he was joking—but he said it was for real.

I was taken aback, but he explained that this is what photoshopping is for and that these are wedding photos that last for years and he'd rather them be flawless. I looked at him and asked if he sees my face as a flaw, he immediately apologized and said absolutely not, it's just that all couples point out what should and should not be photoshopped to get the best wedding photos.

But then the dark truth came out. He then admitted it was his mom's suggestion and he saw that she had a point this time. I refused and we began fighting. Aaron said that I was being a huge overreactor and that it was not about the scar itself, but the overall look of the photos, and I was being too sensitive for no reason.

I had an argument with my future mother-in-law after she nicely tried to talk me into considering it, most of the women in the family agreed with her. Aaron kept saying this is what photoshopping is for, and lots of people do it because they're not happy with a certain area in their appearance.

I told them I'm different because I'm not bothered by my appearance nor do I want to change it for any reason or occasion for that matter. They went on to say I need therapy for me to cope with my past trauma but I don't think my refusal has anything to do with it. Aaron is visibly upset with my response.

He said he loves me no matter what and I was ridiculous to be so hung up on this non-issue and holding it against him and his family who want what's best for me. I don't know if this is just my past insecurities popping up and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting and getting offended for no reason.

permalink

26. A Penny For Her Delusional Thoughts

woman wearing black and white hatPhoto by Jan Canty on Unsplash

I have a friend who we'll call Penny. I met Penny at work about three years ago. We quickly hit it off and became good friends. I was supposed to be getting married in January this year but obviously, because of the pandemic, it didn't go ahead. It's now going ahead next January. Penny is one of my bridesmaids. The problem is, I've seriously gone off Penny over the last year.

I'm pretty sure she's a narcissist and boy is she increasingly unpleasant to be around. She needs attention constantly. And I mean constantly. She makes absolutely everything about her, including my bachelorette party. She's a huge show-off, she gloats, she's competitive...the list goes on. She has insisted on taking over from my maid-of-honor in organizing my bachelorette and has told her I have demanded things when I haven't because she wants them.

However, that’s not the biggest problem. The main issue is that she acts totally inappropriately towards my fiancé. We both spent some time with her this weekend and the list of inappropriate comments, touching, and just general behavior is endless. It makes my fiancé feel uncomfortable and obviously makes me feel angry and upset that she clearly thinks this is okay.

She can't bear us to be affectionate towards each other and she tries to get in between us when we do by trying to physically push her way in saying she wants a hug because she's "happy for us". My fiancé had to tell her to stop. But she just keeps it up.

She tried to play footsie with him underneath the table, leaned across and stroked his face, and told him she's missed him (the two have met a handful of times and my fiancé is very quiet and reserved so they haven't really spoken much and my fiancé would not consider her a friend), trying to hug him...the list goes on.

The first time she met my fiancé, she texted me as soon as we got home, saying, “Don't worry I don't fancy him," which I thought was very strange. She then added him on Snapchat and told me, "If you're wondering what the Snapchat I've sent to him is, don't worry, it's just a normal selfie with my daughter." I said to her "Why would I wonder what you've sent him”? And she didn't respond. Very bizarre.

The second time she met him, he came to pick me up from Penny's house. The second she heard his car pull up in the driveway, she physically pushed me out of the way, ran to his car, flung the door open, and literally jumped on him and hugged and kissed him. I was so confused. This continuing behavior coupled with her constant need for attention and validation is really wearing me down.

We're both sick of it and I find it really disrespectful. I have no idea how to broach this with her as I am really terrible at confrontation and to be quite honest, the thought terrifies me. We also have quite a few friends in common and I'm worried they will side with her and think I'm overreacting.

I am also quite confident that she will gaslight me and say it’s just the way she is with everyone and my fiancé is one of her best friends…this is definitely not true.

permalink

27. You Had One Job

woman in white wedding dress standing beside green plantPhoto by Taylor Heery on Unsplash

This happened during this weekend, me being in my early 30s and my girlfriend in her late 20s. I was invited to a wedding ceremony of a colleague and could bring someone with me. I asked my girlfriend whom I've been dating for a year if she would like to join me and she was really happy because she apparently loves weddings.

Since we don't live together, I drove to pick her up so we'd have some time to spare before the ceremony. As she comes out, she looks really beautiful and has obviously put in the time to fix her hair and make-up. She's also wearing an off-white dress that was rather ornate.

As she got in I told her that she looked stunning, but I asked if she could change to a different colored dress for the ceremony. I'm not one for etiquette by far, but one of the few things I have heard everywhere is that you should not wear a white dress to a wedding unless you're the bride. Her reaction was chilling.

She became pretty upset and wanted to know what was wrong with her dress. I said that it would be inappropriate to wear a white or off-white dress unless you're the bride, and that it's like wedding law or something, trying to be lighthearted about it. She rolled her eyes and said that it was an outdated tradition about women and virginity and that when her friends got married everyone wore white and that it's not a big thing anymore.

I told her that I don't know what the dress code is for this ceremony, but since it's not saying "all white clothes" I still thought she should change to another color that’s not white or "almost-white"—because my colleague was getting married and we had no idea how she felt about it.

My girlfriend became really upset and told me that I was trying to control what she was wearing and that I was mistreating her, which honestly made me really upset and hurt. I said something along the lines of, "Well, you shouldn't go to a wedding with someone who mistreats you then," and then I told her to get out of my car.

She began to cry and wanted to apologize and give me a hug, but I just told her to get out, which she did. To clarify we never left the driveway by her home, I did not drop her off in the middle of nowhere or anything like that. I drove off and she called and texted me a bunch. I answered "I don't want to talk right now" and then turned my phone off and attended the ceremony.

The bride was the only one that was wearing white so I feel as if my gut feeling was the right one. When I got home, my phone had blown up with texts from her and her best friend saying that I was being inconsiderate and controlling and should apologize for my behavior.

I've vented to a few friends—most of them agreeing with me but some have said that it was a jerk thing to tell her that she could not wear her dress—because it had nothing to do with me. I feel as if I was in the right since it was my colleague’s wedding and it was better to be safe than sorry.

permalink

28. Timing Is Everything

woman in black and white tank top wearing sunglassesPhoto by Celeste Horrocks on Unsplash

My future husband and I have known each other for four years, and have been together for two. He has never really liked his sister as a person growing up. He and his parents say she's always been lazy and entitled, that she would never take care of herself, her room, or her chores.

They would have to yell at her to get her to shower because she smelled disgusting, and when she moved out, they had to air her room for months because it smelled so bad. Then there's the way she moved out.

She called CPS at 16 on their mom and stepdad to try to say that they were beating her, there was no food in the house, they didn't have clothes that fit, etc. CPS did nothing because it was obvious she was lying. So she whined to the grandparents about how mean everyone was and moved in with them.

So my future husband doesn't talk to his grandparents because he's livid with his sister for pulling all that stuff and upset that they were siding with her. At 18, his sister ran off to another state with her then-boyfriend and cut off contact with basically the entire family. She was No Contact for seven years.

Nobody really talks about the sister to me, and my fiancé barely mentions her, so I forgot she existed for most of our relationship. Recently, my fiancé started talking to his grandparents again. I honestly love the whole family and am so excited to have them all at my wedding, but I don't think too much about his sister because she lives so far away.

Then out of the blue last year, she sends my fiancé’s mom a picture message of a positive pregnancy test. At some point, before the baby is born, she starts talking to the mom saying that having family is important now because of the baby.

Fast forward and the baby is five months old and suddenly her now-husband is a monster and she needs to get the baby away from him. My fiancé doesn't believe her but his mom and step-dad go on a 10-HOUR DRIVE and miss work to pick up her and baby, bring them back 10 more hours, and this girl literally didn't plan at all. so everything she and baby have is on them or in the diaper bag.

They help buy her EVERYTHING; clothes for both of them, diapers, toys, a baby walker, a stroller, you name it. My fiancé’s mother gets his sister a job where she works. My fiancé and I do go over because we already had plans to take his kids, and he ignores his sister the whole time. I ask him that since she's here now if he would be okay with having her at the wedding.

His reaction said it all. He is a HARD NO. I'm okay with it because I'm not even inviting most of my family. A month goes by, things are kind of quiet, so my fiancé’s parents stop over now and again to chat or see the kids. My fiancé’s stepdad complains about how the sister isn't really helpful and has no idea how to even chop vegetables when she helps cook and how they have to show her how to be a functioning adult basically.

Well, it's no surprise to us that my fiancé’s stepdad has had enough and yells at the sister for not helping. She instantly calls her grandparents, who come pick up her, the stuff, the baby, and move her in with them. Again, they make his mom feel like garbage and tell her she's a bad mom, while she’s working a second job to help pay for the sister’s lawyer fees and planning to take her back to her old state for court. So she's still helping her, despite everything.

I personally don't mind my fiancé’s sister as an individual but I'm not a fan of everything. My fiancé is basically saying he doesn't have a sister anymore at this point. Now we're all caught up to last week when my fiancé and I mail out invites because the wedding is in September. We sent one to grandparents with their last name, and didn't say anything about the sister, who still has her ex’s last name.

My fiancé’s mom reached out and asked me if the sister is invited and I tell her that my fiancé is firm on her not being there. He was already upset with her and now he can't stand the actual sight of her. She has begged him to reconsider because her parents are going to blame her for not being in control of her…ADULT CHILDREN?

My fiancé says his grandparents don't have to come and anyone who has a problem with that doesn't have to come and I'm upset because I just want to have an enjoyable wedding. I am just trying to marry the love of my life and have fun with our friends and family. It sucks that people I thought were great are being garbage suddenly right before we get married like, why right now?

artvamp27

29. It Doesn’t Add Up

100 us dollar billPhoto by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

My brother and his fiancée are getting married in September 2023, and I am a bridesmaid. The bride's two sisters are both maids of honor, and are planning the bachelorette weekend trip for August 2023. I appreciate the advanced planning, so everyone has an opportunity to plan and budget for the trip.

But with that being said, we had a poll to determine the budget everyone was comfortable with, the results being: Up to $300—3 votes, Up to $500—2 votes, No preference—4 votes.

So with those with a preference, the maximum of 300$ won out, but we got the itemized budget today and they are requiring $499 from each of the 10 in the bridal party (this doesn’t even include the $100+ for the spa day and $50+ for wine tasting, so we're looking at closer to $700). This itself just made no sense.

Yes, a majority had no preference, but does that mean we automatically pick the most expensive options? With nearly $1,000 just to reserve a table/bottle service at a bar? I’m 24, about to graduate college, work part-time, and have $2,000 in emergency vet debt I’m still paying off. I live paycheck to paycheck, with little left over, so to spend $500+ on two days is just not something I can reasonably/comfortably swing.

Even a year in advance, I just cannot justify spending so much money when I have other responsibilities and bills. To add onto it, the $100+ for a bridesmaid dress, ~$150 for hair/makeup, wedding gift, and ~$200 for lodging for the night of the wedding, it's just getting to be more than I could possibly afford.

How do I say no to this bachelorette party even though they budgeted it out to $499 if all 10 people were to pay? I'd be forcing other people to pay more to cover my not paying, and (living with her) facing the bride-to-be after.

dovah9

30. An Impending Sense Of Doom

woman in white floral dress beside woman in black and white polka dot shirtPhoto by Marius Muresan on Unsplash

My in-laws have always been difficult people, to say the least. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law both fully believe that the world revolves around them, my father-in-law doesn't leave the house and probably won't come to our wedding, and my stepdad-in-law defends the woman to no end instead of helping us get them all on track. The only in-law I like is my brother-in-law who is a gem.

Since the day my fiancé and I got engaged, it was all about my mother-in-law (and a little bit about my sister-in-law). The first thing she asked was when she could announce it on social media and was mad when we said we wanted to announce it first because in her opinion it was her news to share.

We went over there for dinner to celebrate and she talked all about what her dress would be like and how nice her husband would look in his tux and all the pictures she was going to take with him and my sister-in-law. I was then asked when I'd know who our photographer was so that she could reach out about all the different photos she wanted.

There's a long list of other things she’s pulled since then. She threatened to call vendors before or talk to them during the wedding to change things to the way she wants them, like the implementation of a money dance, a special dance for just her and her husband, centerpieces, etc.

She purchased a full ballgown for our casual outdoor wedding without telling us and when she finally did, said, "I'm going to be the belle of the ball! I'm the princess”!

My future sister-in-law pesters us for months about what dress she gets to wear as a bridesmaid (without being asked to be a bridesmaid), never asks about how planning is going otherwise, and then a week ago, backs out of being a bridesmaid after we told her we'd pay for everything so she can focus on getting her own apartment and going back to school.

A few days after she bailed, she buys an extremely formal and very inappropriate bridesmaids dress from a different store. Literally goes to David's Bridal to shop in the bridesmaids' section even though she just said she didn't want to be one.

My aunts decided to throw an engagement party for us a year delayed (because of current world health issues) and my future mother-in-law threw a fit that she wasn't asked to throw one even though we told her countless times that it was a surprise to us (per the invitation) and we didn't ask for one.

And, finally, we've been asked multiple times if we plan to cancel the wedding because she may not be able to walk down the aisle or dance with her son because she refuses to get the surgery to fix her back now that the doctor said she had to go on a diet to be a candidate. This whole time I've felt like this isn't even my wedding anymore because everything I try to plan or get excited about is cloaked in 50 shades of their drama.

Either my fiancé and I are constantly thinking about and worried about their reactions to things or we get berated on the backend for not thinking about them. I told him I didn't want to talk about wedding stuff with them anymore, and he's ok with it. But I am so worried that will just mean a public display of their horrible behavior at the wedding.

It's just all feeling like it isn't even worth it to have this wedding that I've dreamed of because they've done everything in their power to take the joy from me and make it about them. I'm at a loss for what to do, and, short of uninviting them, I just know things will hit the fan that day.

indecisivedogmom

31. All You Had To Do Was Show Up

group of women standing near green plantsPhoto by Zacke Feller on Unsplash

My bridal shower came and went and my childhood best friend (and a bridesmaid) didn't show up. She texted me today and apologized profusely for not coming, because she has been in a horrible mental space. I'm not mad at her, because you can't control that kind of stuff. And I wouldn't want her to come if it was gonna make her sick. I'm just kinda hurt that it happened in general.

We met at eight years old in a karate class and have been best friends since. And when we stopped attending (around age 18), I feel like she stopped reaching out to spend time with me and upkeep our friendship. It was lame, and I was lonely, because she was my only friend, but oh well; you can't force someone to care.

Years later, she started engaging with me more and we started hanging out when we could. But it was a LOT of "Okay, meet you on ‘scheduled day’! Oops, nevermind, now that we've reached ‘scheduled day,’ I just really don't have it in me today”. It quickly became a pet peeve of mine: making promises and not keeping them.

But I just accepted this is how she functions, and when I see her, I see her. It's been like this for over six years. She got married two months ago, and I was a bridesmaid. I was so honored to be a part of her day, and I pulled any strings I could to make sure I was present at every wedding party of hers I was invited to in a town an hour away.

Her day was beautiful and awesome, I had so much fun. MY bridal shower was yesterday, and she didn't show up. No text. Just a no-show. I wasn't worried, cause I know her, so I knew it just meant she was having One Of Those Days. But still. She apologized to me today, and told me she "is still excited to be a bridesmaid, but would understand if I was mad and wanted to have her step down”.

I'm not MAD. But that apology kinda just hurt me a little more. Like...made me realize that she might very well not even show up to my wedding if she's having a bad day. And that's a really awful thought. It just feels really unfair that I feel like I really try to be physically present for her, and when it's my turn, she can't return the favor.

And again, I understand you cannot control your mental illness. You can't always "suck it up" and get stuff done anyway. But yeah argh I'm just really disappointed that she's failing to stand up for me the way I did for her. Like, after all these years, and a whole wedding together lol and it's the same old problem; still can't follow through with the promises.

I can't count on her to be there for me 100%. Still, I let her know that I can still leave a bridesmaid spot open for her, as long as she's able to come. Her answer shattered my heart into a million pieces.

She literally just texted me asking which of two bridesmaid dress options she should buy. Neither are from my list of 20 dresses that I gave everyone. Her reason? “None of those will come in time”. I gave my dress options months ago. My wedding is now three weeks away.

PixelPoff

32. Stalemate

woman in white top wearing eyeglassesPhoto by RepentAnd SeekChristJesus on Unsplash

40 years ago, there was a big incident that was between my parents and my step-grandmother. They don't talk or acknowledge each other. Present day. I am the only one from my side that still talks to my step-grandmother. I absolutely adore her. My fiancé loves her too and we both wanted her at our wedding. I spoke to her about inviting my cousins (her biological grandkids) so she won't be alone.

I told her the ceremony and reception will be at my parents’ house. She has told me that she will not be attending because of my parents and will only come if I held the wedding somewhere else. She doesn't want to act smiley for one day with people she doesn't like. My initial response was that it will make no difference because my parents will be still at the wedding, regardless of the wedding location.

She told me she would only attend the ceremony and then leave, and not stay for the reception.

JHaxFish

33. Winging It

green sleeveless dress hanged on white wallPhoto by MariaBeatrice Alonzi on Unsplash

My wedding is coming up in two months. One of my bridesmaids who I will call Jess and I have been friends for a little over two years, and are in school together. We were really close, we used to always study and do homework together, hang out, things like that. Recently as wedding planning/buying dresses and other plans are needing to be made, I’ve found that Jess has been distancing herself from me for some reason.

This is tough because three of my other bridesmaids are all a part of a group of friends, myself included. This has been primarily led by Jess, and I’ve found now that this has turned into small little backhanded comments about my wedding and how she’s too stressed to deal with it right now, to flat out ignoring me. But, Jess is still currently a bridesmaid in my wedding.

The biggest issue for me right now is the fact that she seems like she doesn’t care. For example, everyone has ordered their dresses already, and she got hers. Jess though has not tried it on saying, “She’ll try it on before the wedding, and if it doesn’t fit, she’ll get something on Amazon”. This rubs me the wrong way because it makes me think she doesn’t care.

I really tried to be accommodating regarding dresses and even offered to pay for them since everyone’s in college and money is tight. The dresses I picked are $80-100 each which is not expensive at all compared to others I’ve seen. This strange behavior from Jess is continuing despite me talking to her to see if she’s okay.

OriginalParfait4081

34. Make Up Your Mind

yellow and black caution wet floor signPhoto by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

My husband and I eloped in 2020. Our wedding is in three weeks in Ireland where I am from and where I live. My in-laws are all in Texas. They have never been super easy people but not the worst—but I couldn’t get them to RSVP to this wedding. I know travel, Covid, etc, so gave them time.

Four days ago we said it was pretty close, and we really needed to give our venue final numbers and didn’t know if any of the five of them were coming. My husband was heartbroken. Pre-pandemic canceling and elopement, his brother was the best man and he had asked him to be again. They confirmed three would come. Then changed to two. Quickly back to three. And then six. But that was nothing compared to what happened next.

At that point, I said that this wasn’t really confirming anything and I was feeling stressed and confused and could I help with anything? I got a screaming phone call and an essay from his alcoholic mom about how this wedding was about their family and I wasn’t making her welcome enough.

My nice girl act cracked and I said that this wasn’t fair on my parents who were hosting, given that my dad is extremely unwell and we are just trying to organize something small and manageable for him (they needed transport, buses to venue, hotel rooms for extra nights that we had to sort).

So now nobody is speaking to me and I am sick to my stomach. I can’t eat or sleep. I never thought it would affect me this bad. My mum is throwing me a bridal shower on Thursday and I feel so embarrassed because I feel I cracked and now our wedding is a mess with potential drama.

PS_20720

35. Who Wants An Invite To The Boring Part Anyway

groom and bride kneeling in front of priest raising The Holy SacramentPhoto by Josh Applegate on Unsplash

This past June, I got married and as I’m sure most brides would agree, I wanted to make sure this day was special. Given unusual protocols posed for Covid-era weddings, the health of our guests was certainly a priority but I also wanted to have as “normal” of a wedding as possible that I had been envisioning for so long. Our ceremony was at a church and the reception was at a separate venue.

The church had very strict capacity limitations which required us to drastically cut our guest list down. We decided to have an intimate ceremony at the church with our wedding party and families, but to invite everyone on our original guest list to the reception. We sent out two different invitations and assumed that those who we were not able to invite to the ceremony would understand the circumstances given the Covid situation.

Shortly after our wedding, I caught wind from many people that a few gals from one particular group of friends had been complaining during the entire reception about not being invited to our ceremony. Keep in mind, I am definitely not SUPER close with these gals but I do see them fairly frequently socially. While a big part of me felt like this was ridiculous and very rude of them to complain so blatantly, I chose to reach out to these gals to apologize if I had unintentionally made them feel excluded.

I explained that there were capacity limitations with the church so we, unfortunately, could only include a small group of people for the ceremony part of the day. In a lot of ways, I do not feel that I owed them any apology but I wanted to take the high road and clear the air because I certainly did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

After reaching out to apologize, I did not hear back whatsoever. I followed up a few weeks later to say, “Hey! Did you get my voicemail and text from last month? Just wanted to make sure and to again apologize for any misunderstandings about the ceremony. Would love to see you & catch up if you’re around”! Again, I was left with crickets.

It began to bother me after not hearing back so, after several more weeks passed, I reached out one last time saying something along the lines of, “Hi, so sorry to reach out yet again but I am a little worried that I haven’t heard back from you? Is everything ok”? Sure enough, radio silence.

This past week, over a month after that last text, I got a weird response from one of the gals essentially along the lines of, “I’m at a loss of words and haven’t known how to respond but didn’t want to keep you in the dark any longer. I was bummed about the ceremony and decided to take a step away from being your friend. Hope you’re doing well”! Well…that’s that, I guess.

Silly-Ear-9447

36. Money Can’t Buy Happiness—Or A Good Wedding

man and woman kissing inside roomPhoto by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

First off, the bride and groom are lovely people and deserve no shame for any of this. They were failed by circumstances, their terrible vendors and a petty ex-husband. The bride has a very young toddler with an ex-husband. She was getting remarried shortly after a divorce.

The ex-husband was never spoken of but there were many references in speeches to how happy everyone was that the bride could finally be happy, how she got her prince charming and found such a good man. The bride was in tears, as was the maid-of-honor, the father etc. We as guests assumed the previous marriage had not gone well.

It’s a hot and muggy summer day. This is an expensive outdoor venue. Pulling up, you can tell they paid an outrageous amount of money for the place. The ceremony is supposed to start, the bride and groom have taken all their pre-wedding photos. There’s just one problem. Guests are waiting sitting in 90-degree full sun, baking and just melting in formal wedding attire.

There was a small appetizer tray and a few pitchers of water for guests as they arrived but it had long been pulled for everyone to get to their seats for the ceremony to start. The ceremony is supposed to start, and then there is a delay and we hear the generic orchestra music start back up again.

We can all see the bride and bridesmaids through the clear windows of the building. They are standing in line waiting to go but official people are scurrying about. More delays, and more delays.

It’s a full hour of everyone sitting and staring at the bride, waiting for this wedding to start. By the way, she had on a beautiful designer gown that was completely beaded from head to toe. She looked lovely. The groom and groomsmen are awkwardly standing at the alter the entire time. There is a lot of very worried shuffling going on between the bridesmaids and groomsmen groups.

At this point, I'm starting to wonder if older relatives are going to pass out. People start going inside the venue to fetch glasses of water and going to the bathroom for older people and pregnant ladies of which there were quite a few. The venue coordinator is very angry about this for a seriously stupid reason.

He wants no one to see the hall. The hall that everyone can see through 40 feet of clear glass windows with all the tables facing the ceremony site. The hall that everyone had to walk through to get to the outdoor garden in the first place. He starts barking orders at guests and yelling at them to leave the hall, water, and bathrooms behind.

He’s very forceful about it and rude. He actually at some point starts locking doors so people cannot enter. This is the only bathroom option on site. They do not put out more water for people outside at this point. Eventually, the wedding ceremony starts and the bride’s toddler is led out to participate in the ceremony.

During the ceremony, the DJ/sound guy massively fumbles the sound system. It cut in and out through the entire 40-minute ceremony loudly screeching and going silent the entire time. People were holding their ears in pain. I have no idea why the man didn't just turn the stupid system off.

It was painful and ruined any sort of videography the couple could have had. He never stops playing with the system. It was bad and if he wasn't the DJ for later on, I think he probably should have been fired on the spot. The ceremony is finished up and the couple are very clearly delighted and just so happy to be married.

The groom carries his new stepchild down the aisle with them—but there was something that we didn’t know...

We found out later, the bride's ex-husband had the toddler prior to the ceremony and had not brought/handed over the child several hours after he was supposed to for the wedding. He had clearly tried to spite the bride and groom by not showing up and delaying the ceremony start time over an hour because of his spite.

The bride insisted she was not getting married without her child in attendance. Pretty reasonable, and she stayed remarkably poised through the whole thing all considering. I suspect there was probably quite a bit of high drama behind the scenes finding that toddler and getting the child to the ceremony site.

Later, we the plebeians are all allowed by the event coordinator to enter the hall and find our seats. It’s a lot of people and a large wedding. The couple have clearly spent a lot of money on this. We all desperately gulp our ice water at the tables. I'm drinking mine when I make a chilling discovery.

I notice shards of glass in my water. I politely find a server and give them my glass and request a new one. Everyone at the tables starts eying their drinks. Then food service comes out. It's painfully slow. It takes well over an hour for everyone to get food. Everything is bland, unsalted, unsauced, and small meager portions. The cooked vegetables are raw. The potatoes are clearly instant.

What’s worse is we can't identify what meat we're eating. It's almost inedible. We eventually figure out eating two different types of sliced meat. We were all hungry. The cake was cut and served. Although beautiful, it was equally dreadful and stale. More speeches start and everyone cries about how great the groom is and how happy they are the bride found someone so wonderful.

It’s starting to get painfully awkward at this point. I and other guests are starting to wonder what sort of monster she was previously married to. Then the best man also makes an awkward speech saying he’s never seen the groom as happy as when he announced he was engaged to the bride. Here's the tricky thing.

The groom had also been previously engaged the year before to another woman. They had been engaged a long time. They broke up after some lifestyle differences. Which, fair enough, better to break up before than after the wedding. But the best man kept talking about how he had never seen the groom so happy to be engaged and in such a "healthy supportive relationship”.

Well, that was awkward. Talking about how his friend had just bloomed in the last year with the love of a good woman. Again also the groomsman talking about how he was so happy he could call the bride a friend and wanted them all to be a happy friend group together with him and their wives.

It should be noted the previous fiancé was also a nice lady, but they just decided to choose different life paths. So the highlight by the groomsmen of how much the groom loved this new woman and was soooo much happier after all these years was just a bit cringey. It felt a bit like he was saying he hated the other fiancé and this new one was so much better.

Through all of this, the bride and groom are just staring into each other’s eyes totally in love holding their toddler, and being a happy little family. Obviously, everyone was happy for them, but maybe the speeches could have been a bit more tactful about previous relationships. But the night wasn’t over yet.

Then comes the DJ with his music for dancing. He has decided he is going to crank the music all the way up in a concrete-built reception hall. The music is blaring. Again the sound system is not set up properly and the bass is vibrating the floors. It's physically painful to the ears again, something was clearly not balanced correctly with the speakers. No one can hear anyone speak. It’s bad.

People are screaming at each other in conversation. It's metal rock concert loud. It was bad enough after we left the wedding, I had ringing ears for hours after. I think it genuinely damaged my hearing. People begin to flee the reception room and the majority of all guests begin to stand in the foyer next to the bathrooms.

It’s actually a bit comical, if it wasn’t so sad. There are easily a hundred or more guests standing in the small foyer talking and drinking. The reception hall is essentially 25% full at this point. Everyone else has run away. The DJ still never read the room. All night, he kept the volume at the same level. Max. A few people try to dance.

But eventually, most of the guests tire of standing in the foyer and are hungry from lack of edible food. People start to leave at 8 pm. The evening wedding was supposed to start at 5 pm. We stayed as long as we could but by 9:30, nearly everyone was gone. It felt like it would be inappropriate to stay longer as the vendors had started cleaning up.

The venue also failed to set out the wedding favors in time for the guests. Nearly every guest had left without taking the custom bottled wedding favors. Walking away, I thought about all the money and time the couple had spent. They easily spent more than $50k, I would guess more on what was essentially a four-hour wedding day.

It was a beautiful venue, and with beautiful photo opportunities, a beautiful bride in a beautiful custom designer dress, and a happy groom. Everyone was thrilled for the couple. It had all the potential to be an amazing party. Honestly, if I had unlimited funds in the future I might have done something very similar for my own wedding. Even down to the decor and gown the bride chose. It was all of very good taste.

That’s when I determined, even if I had the funds, I wouldn't do this for myself in the future. I don't think my family are wedding people. I would be so disappointed if everyone had left my wedding four hours after they showed up. So much expense for so little in return. I would be absolutely crushed. Nope, I'm not setting myself up for that disappointment.

I'm probably going to elope somewhere in a fabulous destination. That way I can enjoy the experience and the expense of my own wedding. Family is welcome to join us for a barbecue after.

veggiedelightful

37. A Bloody Mess

woman in white dress holding white and blue floral ceramic bowl with foodPhoto by Kadyn Pierce on Unsplash

This happened almost 10 years ago, but I still think about it from time to time. I was the wedding date to my male friend's family wedding. Let's call my date, J. It was a beautiful wedding at a hotel casino. As I only knew J and a couple other guests, I did not know what to expect. Turns out, his family really liked to party hard.

Before long, hard drinks and homemade moonshine were being passed around, mainly amongst the groomsmen and J. They all became incredibly rowdy rather quickly and after the cake was cut, the groom grabbed a handful of cake and shoved/punched J in the face with it. This is when drama erupted.

The cake to the face was meant to be fun and not malicious, but it caused J to start bleeding out of his nose profusely. Roughhousing can go too far, especially when intoxicated. Well, J became irate at being embarrassed and physically hurt by his cousin. He started yelling, then stormed out of the ballroom.

On his way to the bathroom, he sprayed blood all over the welcoming sign and then punched the metal door handle. It was one of those long horizontal push bars. Casino/hotel employees ended up having to rope off that area to sanitize and clean the blood. I felt really bad about that.

J went to the bathroom to clean up while still kicking up a fuss and many of us, including his mom and myself, followed him trying to help clean him up and calm him down. It soon became clear that no one was going to get him to calm down and he was too far gone to be reasonable.

His cousin tried to apologize many times, but J wasn't hearing it. Which is understandable considering J's present state. J's mom convinced us to leave him be and let him calm down without everyone around. I ended up going to hang out with some of the less rowdy cousins. I tried to wait for J outside, but it was getting really late and his mom told me that I could go back to our hotel room.

I was later woken up by J's mom, telling me that J had been taken by officers and that we would bail him out in the morning. I was upset by this, but there was nothing I could do but wait to figure out what happened in the morning. When I went to the county lock-up the next day, J came walking out in jeans and boots...that was it.

He had swollen hands and his button-up shirt he wore to the wedding was missing. I couldn't believe what had happened. I found out that he had ripped his shirt off due to getting so much blood on it, then left the casino and was wandering around outside because he was still messed up and angry.

He hit the side of the building with his fist and that's why one hand was messed up, and the other hand was swollen from when he hit the metal bar on the door. The authorities had picked him up outside the hotel. After picking him up from the lock-up, I drove us a few hours back home and then J went straight to the hospital for his hands.

He ended up shattering one of his wrists, I believe he still has a metal screw in it to keep it together, and he also broke a part of one hand, and a few fingers. I cannot remember the exact number of broken bits, but basically, he broke his hands and a wrist.

As far as I know, there is no animosity between J and his cousin. J knows he was off the rails and that if he had not been drinking so much moonshine, then the situation would have been very different. This was nowhere near my most favorite wedding I have been to, but it sure has the craziest story attached to it!

FenixStormRose

38. Thanks For Nothing

clear wine glasses on tablePhoto by Fabio Sangregorio on Unsplash

My husband’s cousin who lives near us is getting married to a lady that none of us want him to marry. She’s a boundary-stomping weirdo who has to control every situation and has very little idea of what she’s doing or social skills. First of all, the wedding is on Black Friday. Like, what the heck.

They want the rehearsal dinner on Thanksgiving, which is seriously rude, and also, we have Thanksgiving with my family since my parents are hosting. So, I’m livid. Now, they’ve decided that we need an extra rehearsal on Wednesday at a time none of us can attend. I think the bride scheduled it this way because she likes to be a victim and cause drama.

The best man (a close friend) is now no longer part of the wedding party. The bride has had beef with his wife for over a year and blocked her on everything a year ago before expecting her to do all of the wedding planning since it’s her day job. I wasn’t aware of any of this until she contacted me a little over a week ago super stressed over this and I told her to stand up for herself.

Her and her husband don’t deserve all the terrible treatment they were getting. Like, the bride was furious that the groom was getting a separate bachelor party from her? Wow. But the icing on the cake?

Right now, my husband and I are experiencing symptoms of Covid. We are both vaccinated, but I’m honestly hoping this gives us an out of the wedding. My husband says there’s no way we won’t be able to go, but I can dream.

Cinnabonnyowo

39. Don’t Tell The Bride

woman in white long sleeve shirt with white flower headbandPhoto by Rikonavt on Unsplash

This is a story about my cousin’s wedding last night. Nothing too horrible happened. However, there was a lot of talk going around at the wedding that perhaps some of the readers who are having a future wedding can avoid. So my cousin. She is utterly gorgeous. Extremely smart. And came from a super wealthy family. She is one everyone would be jealous of and was jealous of growing up.

Her wedding was expected to be no less than extravagant—and boy were expectations not met. Of course, she was the most stunning bride you ever saw, like right from a magazine and her ceremony was cute and simple. However, apparently unbeknownst to the rest of the family, her father (who was paying for the wedding) lost all his money the year before.

The cocktail hour with appetizers only lasted 15 minutes as they did not prepare enough apps for the entire hour between the ceremony and dinner. Our family is massive party people and an open bar is expected at any wedding when we are in attendance. Apparently, there were drinks only for up to $1,500 and that ran out also before the cocktail hour ended again.

So 30 minutes before the dinner was served, she had 150 guests tipsy, hungry, and bored. Something needed to happen. Some ran back to their cars to grab wallets. I was informed ahead of time that the bar had a limit and brought a TON of booze with me. I don’t drink but I knew it would be an issue and everyone sure enjoyed the things I brought.

Finally, dinner was served. It was supposed to be a steak filet mignon or chicken thing. Unfortunately, the steak was barely edible though. I ordered it and didn’t like the gravy they put on top. My mother didn’t like it, my father didn’t like it. Luckily my husband ordered the chicken so we all split that. But many people were again, left unsatisfied by dinner.

Thank goodness they had a dessert table…with only 50 cupcakes which were gone in five minutes once people discovered it. My sister started complaining the loudest (she works in hospitality) about how poorly this is all going. My other sister starts getting in her face about how this isn’t her wedding and none of this matters…the rest of the guests were divided.

What really got people complaining was when there was a huge gap between the dancing and the dinner. It was over an hour until the first dance and people could finally enter the dance floor. With no free booze or food, what were people supposed to do? We stood around and mingled, but most of the conversation was about how long we had to wait to dance.

During this time, grandma had a few too many and threw up and passed out in a car. She is frail and has dementia so she wasn’t keeping track of what she was drinking. Two glasses of vino put her out. But her mistake made things even worse.

After the first dances, they invited all the married couples to come to the floor and then do the year call-out, so at the end of the song, the couple who has been married the longest is dancing with the newlyweds and that is supposed to bring good luck and a long marriage.

Well, the DJ started the song and everyone went out, but he was quickly informed to not call out the years as the couple who has been married the longest (my grandparents) would not be dancing. A very big disappointment to both my grandpa and the bride. Once the dancing started going, the complaining didn’t stop.

See, the newlywed couple loved country music. So the DJ played four country songs back to back and that cleared the dance floor as no one else really liked that genre of music. Luckily my cousins stepped in and requested some “classic” wedding songs which got the party going. However, whenever a slow song was played…it was country and people were grumbling about it.

I don’t know how the rest of the night ended as I left a bit early. I said goodbye to the bride and she asked if I had fun which of course, you had to say yes. But overall, I have never been to a wedding with so many people complaining and unhappy. As long as the bride never finds out, people will forget and it will be remembered as a magical night.

Marowo14

40. Turning On A Dime

woman in green spaghetti strap dressPhoto by Diah Ayu on Unsplash

My best friend, let’s call her W, has been a staple person in my life since middle school. she’s been there through all of my relationships, heartbreak, and exciting moments and now she does not want to be my friend any longer. W became a pretty key member of our friend group at the beginning of 2021.

She came and hung out with my boyfriend and I multiple times a week and then would hang out with me and my BF and his best friend all weekend. We went on summer trips together and had a standing girls' night ever week. My boyfriend’s best friend, we will call him R, broke up with his long-term girlfriend of seven years back in March 2021, and of course, started going through women like no one’s business.

Long story short, W had her first time with R even though my boyfriend and I told her it was a horrible idea. R gave W a lot of heartache but she wanted to remain in the friend group because she didn’t want him to have the power to take her friends away from her. Now it’s been over three months since they got with each other and they both have their own partners now.

Except we don’t like W’s partner because he’s already showing red flags around us. He also doesn’t like her to come hang out with us on her own, and then if she does, he gets very upset with her and she leaves early. Yesterday, I bridesmaid proposed to W. Her reaction was devastating.

She says yes, but then spills the beans about how she hates R and never wants to see him again even though he will also be in the wedding. She texts me six hours later, saying she can no longer be my friend so she will not be at the wedding. I responded, telling her how much I loved her and want her there and she said it didn’t matter because of how much she hates R and apparently also my fiancé now.

I’m trying to just move on and not let her take my joy but it’s hard. Am I crazy to think it could all be her partner talking in her ear?

meremare

41. A Lesson In Rolling With The Punches

person in white gloves holding persons handPhoto by Daniel Lloyd Blunk-Fernández on Unsplash

The mother of a good friend of mine is getting married next weekend. She's been widowed for about four years and has met a lovely man. We're in semi-lockdown so there are restrictions on numbers, etc, that they are following strictly. The drama? She fell over last week and broke her wrist and fractured her leg. She has a cast on one arm and a moon boot on one leg!

But they don't want to put it off so she's going to be limping down the aisle on her son's arm, happy as can be. She’s 78, he’s 82.

LissyVee

42. Unsupervised Minor

woman raising her handsPhoto by Tanner Boriack on Unsplash

I am getting married in less than two weeks now. My soon-to-be mother-in-law has not been involved in any wedding planning, and didn’t come to my bridal shower. Yesterday, my fiancé and I went to their house for a little while and his younger sister (13) showed him her dress for the wedding, which is bright white. My dress isn’t even this white.

I know that it’s not her fault because she probably doesn’t know not to wear white, but I am annoyed with my mother-in-law for not telling her to choose a different dress for the wedding, especially when she didn’t ask me if it was okay. If they had asked I might have said it was fine. It just doesn’t feel good that she didn’t consider asking me how I felt about it.

I wouldn’t ask her to change it now, I just keep wondering if it’s wrong of me to be annoyed about it?

Worldly-Nectarine-34

43. The Bait And Switch

two woman standing beside woman sitting in front of tablePhoto by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash

My fiancé and I are planning our wedding. Three years ago, I moved across state lines five hours away from my hometown to be with my fiancé. Originally, when we started planning this wedding, we wanted it to be midway for the families (three hours for each of the families), however my family insisted that it's fine to go do it where we live now and the drive is not a problem, and if it is they don't have to come.

I'm thinking great, it's so nice that they are being flexible on this. It made planning everything else so much easier. The problem comes when we were planning the rehearsal dinner. My fiancé and I are private people, we are welcoming extended family to the wedding despite us wanting to keep the wedding small. With all the extended family invites, and random family friends, we have about 70 people.

We were happy with this number and were excited for our rehearsal dinner to be the core group of 30 we had initially wanted the wedding to be. We had this planned already, and everything was going smoothly until I went home for my bridal shower and mentioned that the rehearsal dinner is only 30 people.

At that point, my mom and stepfather are absolutely disgusted with me. They said you can't do that, all those people are coming from our state to see you, you have to invite them to the rehearsal. She kept telling me that they are booking a flight and a hotel to be at your wedding, so I need to invite them to the rehearsal as well.

That this needs to be treated as a destination wedding for MY side of the family. I kept getting harassed about this until I gave in. I told my fiancé about this and he got angry because this was the ONLY intimate moment we will probably ever have with all our close friends.

It's wrong to only invite one-half of the guest list and WE have made that drive the day of and stayed overnight at a hotel and left the next day, there's no need for them to be there for two full days early.

pulchritudinousss

44. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

a white and black dressPhoto by Rosemary Williams on Unsplash

I need help deciding if I should tell my maid of honor I don’t want her in my wedding anymore or if I’m just overreacting. I am getting married in five months and have been having some issues with my maid of honor. So let’s start off with dress shopping.

I planned way in advance to go dress shopping and with restrictions, I was only allowed to have three people with me so I chose my maid of honor, my mom, and my sister. Day of, my maid of honor calls me one hour before the appointment to tell me she could not come because she is fighting with her boyfriend.

I just asked maybe she would like to come along anyways and vent while we shop as it was a big day for me and really wanted her opinion that day. She still said no and that was that. I ended up buying a dress that day and afterward, she has not yet asked me about that day or if I found anything. Next would be my bridal party’s dress shopping.

Day of, she called and told me she couldn’t make it due to she was having a mental breakdown I asked what was going on and she didn’t want to talk about it so I gave her some space. I have asked her plenty of times if she was doing okay and she said she’s fine. She has also given me a hard time with what she could wear for the wedding.

I let all the girls choose their style of dress as long as the color was the same but she said since she’s a maid of honor she should be able to decide what she wants to wear. I have talked to her about everything and told her how I felt like she didn’t want to be a part of the wedding and I said it would be totally fine if she wanted out but she said she wanted to be a part of it and a part of every step but her actions say otherwise.

After that talk, she still hasn’t reached out about anything. She told me she was planning something for me, but when I asked one of my bridesmaids about it, they said nope. I also found out my bridesmaids are planning my bachelorette party and wedding shower and that she hasn’t reached out to help with that.

I also don’t want or expect her to do any of that I just want her to be there for the important parts I just don’t get why she would lie.

Fluffy-Contest6757

45. Rubbing It In

selective focus photography white and pink isle flower arrangementPhoto by Shardayyy Photography on Unsplash

My sister got married last Saturday. It was a nightmare. She and my mom spent nearly the entire year in the lead-up to the event talking about it. This wouldn’t have bothered me if it was excitement fueling all of those conversations, but instead, it was stress. I’ve never seen the appeal of a big wedding, but watching this play out has solidified my point of view.

My husband and I got married in a small ceremony in front of only close family and friends (maybe 25 people there at most), hosted a slightly bigger reception for others we also wanted to celebrate with, and called it a day. There was no anxiety about planning, no looming dread that this perfect day we had built up in our heads might not go 100% as planned. Just us celebrating our love with people we love.

My sister’s wedding was the antithesis of that. It was over the top. The guest list was already massive, and then she allowed children there on top of that. If you can imagine 200+ people plus kids running around what is supposed to be a peaceful event and NOT get anxious, I envy you. I already knew the whole thing was going to go terribly, as much as I hate to say it.

You can’t welcome that level of mayhem while also having your itinerary planned down to the minute. There was nothing intimate or personal. It seemed she was inviting “friends” she hadn’t spoken to in years just to fill out more seats. The whole thing was ostentatious and I have no idea who she was trying to impress.

Myself and the rest of our siblings are all in similar financial situations. Just because you have the money to pay for something doesn’t mean you should. My husband and I were ready to head home right after the ceremony, but we played nice and stuck around. At one point over the course of the night, she ended up in tears, unsurprisingly.

I got roped into trying to comfort her, and I asked my sister if it was worth it. Was all the planning and stress and money dropped on this event worth the final outcome. My mom told me that my attitude the entire day had been terrible, the comments from my husband and I were distasteful, and that the question I had asked was awful and rude.

I haven't spoken to either her or my sister since.

ImageNo1045

46. Cry Uncle

man in blue button up shirtPhoto by engin akyurt on Unsplash

My mother had four sisters and five brothers biologically. She is adopted but invited all of her siblings and the ones who were going to attend RSVPed like normal people. The wedding was five days long and on the second day, one of my uncles turns up. We are going to call him Vincent. My husband Bill is the one who greets him, and he is very dismissive, he pretends that he doesn't know Bill.

A couple of hours later we come downstairs, we have dolled up and it is basically time to start kicking off the celebrations. We come downstairs and we hug everyone who was present. My mother results in telling Vincent that this is the Groom (Bill) and Vincent suddenly has a moment of clarity and blurts out, "I did not think you would have recognized me".

We proceeded outside to do a prayer recognizing the Earth as the mother who nurtures and provides for us. I heard him exclaim to the Priest that the women in his family do not know how to do anything right. For the Turmeric ceremony, Vincent started yelling at my second oldest sister—there are four of us.

He was yelling because according to him we were not doing things the right way. Like he knew better than the priest. When he put the turmeric on me, he basically was hitting me and he told me he is just going to the “Om Namah Shivay” mantra because he does not want my marriage to fail because my family did not have the sense to do things the right way.

All of my cousins who came to the wedding were given a role. My sisters were front and center but that is because we live in different countries and are absurdly close, and we are sisters. On Saturday I did his name tag/place holder thingie, while my sister did my hair. And when I walked in with an absurdly heavy and big three-piece Indian lehenga, he called me fat out loud.

My twin's fiancée was ticked off and spoke to him. He boasted about his wealth to one of my mother's friends. That resulted in the biggest insult of all: telling people that my mother has only achieved something because of his help. He also told people that my mother sleeps around.

Just after the Hindu Ceremony, he pulled my mother aside and yelled at her, telling her that had we (Bill and myself) invited his kids personally they would have come and they would have the same amount of fun as my other cousins. At the group photo, he proceeded in directing everyone on what to do, and continuously shouted at me "Can't you smile”?

I basically had a panic attack and fainted. I had also only had two hours of sleep. He told the priest that he was the black sheep of the family to which the priest responded, "Well, have you done anything to be the black sheep”? Basically, if he was the black sheep of the family he would not have been invited.

Our wedding favors were placed in little bags with the recipients' names on them. A few people were late, so he ended up taking multiple programmes and other people's wedding favors (my grandmother saw and was happy to report back). Then, he found my mother once more and told her that he would not stay for the Humanist wedding because he is very religious.

What does a Humanist wedding have to do with religion? I do not know. Since then, he says that he regrets not having brought his family to the wedding and they would definitely be coming for my twin's wedding. Cannot wait for what he does or says next...

How do you manage people like this? I wished he had stayed home with his obnoxious family. He always gives me weird vibes.

silentobserver08

47. It’s A Wedding, Not A Surprise Party

people raising wine glass in selective focus photographyPhoto by Al Elmes on Unsplash

I got married this Saturday, it was a beautiful sunset ceremony by a bay. My sister-in-law was invited over a year ago, but declined to attend both the ceremony and reception because she was trying to quit drinking. Fine, totally understandable. I was disappointed but understood.

My mother-in-law convinces her to at least attend the ceremony and then leave before the reception. I say sure, no extra charge for chairs. The wedding happens, and my husband and I appear for our grand entrance after photos. That's when I see her.

My sister-in-law is standing at the doorway where we are supposed to enter with a drink in her hand. After the dance and dinner, my sister-in-law and her children and husband are still there. My mother-in-law comes over to apologize for her daughter and says, "Well at least so-and-so isn't here so sister-in-law can take their place”!

I responded, "No, actually there is a final count and so-and-so was already removed so they are three extra I get to pay for because everyone else had the decency to RSVP and show up”. My mother-in-law is between a rock and a hard place.

My husband turns to me and says, "Honey, I'm super angry at this too, but I can't kick my sister out. It's a bad look. And we can't let her crashing ruin our night”. He's right, of course. We have an amazing night and honeymoon. But it was still really annoying.

educatedvegetable

48. Betty Vs. Veronica

man standing near the woman walking in party during nighttimePhoto by Andreas Rønningen on Unsplash

Background: I grew up in a pretty affluent neighborhood with lots of jockeying for power positions in social/economic areas. Think high school on steroids. I was casual friends with ‘Betty,’ whose family lived in one of the most modest homes. Her mom ‘Kathy’ is a nurse and her dad ‘Ken’ is a mechanic.

They were hippy-ish with a modest house, and modest spending (comparatively). Not into the neighborhood scene. They did a lot of DIY which was considered déclassé. Years later I ended up working at the same place as Betty and we became good friends. So, Betty gets engaged to ‘Bob’ who was also raised in the old neighborhood.

He’s a few years older and I didn’t remember him growing up but is a great down-to-earth person as well, which surprised me because his family members that I knew were really vested in the hierarchy of the neighborhood.

His mom ‘Veronica’ was into the whole entitled Queen Bee stuff. Even my mom who had leanings in that direction thought she was too much. Betty and Bob wanted a small, quiet wedding which they planned on paying for themselves. Veronica was insistent that they have a bigger one that she and Bob’s dad ‘Vernon’ would pay for.

Betty and Bob conceded to keep the peace but told her they wouldn’t ask Betty’s parents to contribute to something they didn’t want. The only things out of Veronica’s hands were Betty and Bob doing the invitations and transportation from the church to Veronica’s house which Ken and Kathy offered to arrange. Veronica told people she was ‘hopeful’ the cars would be ‘decent’.

Veronica went all out. Everything had to be “the best”. Multiple tents, sit-down meals, flowers from the fanciest florist, a big band, and a wooden dance floor laid over their pool, copious decorations. Everything was formal and elegant and, I will admit, beautiful, if that’s your style.

Veronica, throughout the whole wedding lead-up, was snobby about Ken and Kathy not contributing financially—but in an infuriating passive-aggressive way. Like telling people, “We’re so happy to be able to provide a lovely wedding since Betty’s parents can’t”. And, “It’s a shame Ken and Kathy haven’t been as fortunate as we are. It must be difficult for them”.

I went with Betty to almost all the planning (she told me she needed the moral support to not tell Veronica off) so I heard this stuff for myself as well as getting reports from my mom who is in on the neighborhood gossip. Veronica explained the “situation” to anyone who’d listen. It was really important to her that people understand that her money and taste was an incredible gift. She was rude to the service people too, in a patronizing way.

Day of the wedding: Pictures weren’t too bad if you discounted Veronica’s trying to tell the photographer what to do and Vernon making ‘jokes’ about the cost of the wedding in a way designed to point out he’d paid for it. The ceremony was lovely though. Now, the rest of the story is put together from both things I witnessed and from others.

That’s where things really hit the fan. The wedding party was in front of the church with guests spilling out behind. The cars taking the bridal party to the house start pulling up—every one a classic, perfectly restored, convertible—even if you knew little about cars you knew these were special. Quite a buzz from the crowd.

Veronica was told three of them were Ken’s. Every time someone gushed about the cars, she looked like she had indigestion. We get back to the house and there’s a reception line. Veronica meets guests on Betty’s side who are publicly known and wealthy. These are people she aspires to.

Veronica and Vernon are sitting at a table with Betty’s honorary ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ who, they learn, share business ventures with Ken and Kathy—business ventures out of Vernon’s range. They meet a local leading political figure who gushes about his friendship with Ken and Kathy and their charitable contributions to various city programs.

Veronica is looking stressed. Also, she’s had a few glasses of champagne. Veronica (with her Queen Bee cohort) runs into Betty’s brother ‘Karl’ and flat out says how it’s a shame Kathy and Ken couldn’t contribute to giving Bob and Betty their dream wedding (the one they didn’t want).

She was so upset over losing, in her head, some level of superiority that she was more overt than usual. Showing off for her friends and drinking probably factored in too. Karl knew exactly what to reply to put her in her place. He says, “They probably felt the house was enough”.

Yeah, Kathy and Ken gave Betty and Bob a house worth easily three-quarters of a million. They just weren’t people who thought an enormous amount of money spent on a wedding was worthwhile, especially since Betty and Bob didn’t actually want one. Or the kind to brag about a gift.

Veronica’s so-called friends gleefully spread the news. People kept mentioning Ken and Kathy’s generosity to Vernon and Veronica. Vernon stopped ‘joking’ about how much the wedding cost. Veronica spent the whole reception with that ‘I’m angry but I’m going to plaster on a happy face look’. Kept cracking. She still gets that look when the wedding is mentioned.

Pistalrose

49. Say Yes To The Dress And No To The Man

woman in white floral wedding dressPhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Me and my fiancé are getting married soon. Wedding planning has so far been going alright except for a few things he and I argued about like the venue and flower girl. Now we've been arguing about my wedding dress.

This might sound cliché but ever since I was young, I dreamed of having my own beautiful wedding dress, I can afford it but my fiancé thinks it's not okay to waste a couple of thousands on a dress I'm only going to wear once. Yes, he might have a point there, but for one, this is the typical price for wedding dresses.

And two, because it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing then why not make sure it's special? My fiancé still wasn't convinced and suggested I rent a dress instead of buying one. He started saying that I'm being irresponsible with money and brought up how much money I've already put aside to "rent a face" (he means makeup) and wear "fake" hair (he means extensions).

I have this vision of what I want to look like on my wedding and I think that it's my right as a bride. I went ahead and purchased the dress, but a day later I found out that it was missing from my closet. I freaked out—but what he told me made me feel even worse. He said he returned it and got the money back.

I was shocked I asked him why he did that and he said he thought the dress was ridiculously expensive and that was wasting money and AGAIN suggested I go rent one. I blew up and went off on him which I've never done before. He literally took a few steps back and told me to calm down. I said he had no right, I'm the one paying for the freaking dress.

He got upset and said that there's no "I'm paying for it myself" in marriage and that my attitude is setting the tone for what type of dynamic we'll have in our marriage. He kept on about how I must expect to him to pay for everything while I keep "my money" or spend it irresponsibly (yet I never tell him how to spend his money).

I responded that he gets zero say in how I spend my money whatsoever. He told me that I should grow up and stop with the "dream wedding dress" cliché then stormed off to call his mom who chewed me out saying she won't let me ruin her son's financial stability with how I deal with money generally.

She too urged me to rent a dress or buy a cheaper one, way cheaper than the one I picked and move on—but I declined.

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50. You Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

shallow focus photo of cakePhoto by Nicole Boekestijn on Unsplash

My friend Cassie has always loved my cakes and asked me to make eight for her wedding late last year. We agreed they’d be one-tier cakes to be used as table centerpieces, I loved the idea! We agreed that they’d be decorated in a particular way that wasn’t too elaborate. I was happy with the arrangement and super excited by the prospect!

In early January, she decided she wanted three-tier cakes instead and wanted them decorated much more intricately. The intricacy wanted is nowhere near my ability. I don’t really have the free time to learn how to do it either, I have a lot on my plate in my day-to-day life and I knew even doing the one-tier cakes would be a little tricky but absolutely manageable.

I politely said I couldn’t do that and tried to offer a compromise. I offered to find a way to do three-tier cakes, but more simplistic than she’d have liked. I also offered to get her in contact with a skilled friend of mine who I knew could do what she wanted, she’d have to pay but the price would’ve been extremely good and they’d be beautiful cakes. Worth every penny!

She got very angry at this compromise effort. She called me selfish and told me I was sabotaging her big day. Then demanded I do it for her while getting a few of her friends to send me rude and disheartening messages. This was heartbreaking for me but I told her I could no longer do the cakes and she got angrier. We haven’t talked since that—until yesterday.

I received a message yesterday, acting like nothing happened, asking me to do the cakes again because I owed her. She said I’d be a useless friend if I didn’t. I declined and she chewed me out again saying things that were unnecessary and I’d rather not repeat. I’d had enough, this had already been stressful for me and I hated being dragged into it.

I messaged her fiancé Adam sending him some screenshots asking if he’d please make her stop lashing out. She was hurting but I didn’t deserve the things said. I didn’t get a reply until today when he apologized profusely. What he told me next made my blood run cold.

He told me she’d done this to another friend before me and this was “the straw that broke the camel's back” for him and he was going to call off the wedding until they’d been to counseling together. I thanked him for being understanding but a few hours later Cassie and her friends started harassing and threatening me. It's been horrible.

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Most of us can't deny that going to the movie theater is a fun experience, but we also can't deny that the concession prices have become kind of outrageous.

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Taylor Flowe/Unsplash

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We’ve all had our moments where we think we’re in the right—and we’ve certainly all had our moments where we know we’re in the wrong, even if we only realize it after. Even so, there are some situations that are so bizarre we don’t know if we’re being a jerk or not about them.

Enter: Reddit. Here, these posters share their weirdest woes and strangest arguments.

1. Locked And Loaded

a woman with long hair and piercings on her headPhoto by Kateryna Hliznitsova on Unsplash

My brother-in-law Sammy lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago. He moved in with us and brought his twin 18-year-old daughters, Olivia and Sloane, with him a couple of months ago. His sister (my wife) and I have one 16-year-old daughter, Zoey, and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine. There is one huge problem now.

Olivia and Sloane have no respect for Zoey's privacy, none. They used to walk into her room and take everything they could get their hands on. Makeup, phone accessories, clothes, school laptop, etc. Zoey complained a lot and I've already asked the girls to respect Zoey's privacy and stop taking things. My wife and Sammy saw no issue with this kind of thing, though. After all, they're girls and this is typical teenage behavior. I completely disagreed.

The last straw was when Zoey bought a $60 makeup kit that looks like a paint set that she saved up for over a month and Sloane took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it. I don't know much about makeup but that's what Zoey said when she found the kit on her bed and was crying. I told my wife and she said she'd ask Sloane to apologize.

I then got Zoey a lock after I found she was moving valuable belongings out of the house because of this incident. Sammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy, and the girls were extremely upset. Sammy asked about it and I straight up told him. His reaction infuriated me. He said: "My daughters aren't thieves!!! It's normal that girls of the same age borrow each other’s stuff."

He said Zoey could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from Walmart and shouldn't even be buying expensive makeup in the first place. He suggested my wife take care of this "defect" in Zoey's personality of trying to appear older than she is. He also accused me of being overprotective and babying Zoey with this level of enablement. But that was just the beginning.

I told him this is between me and my wife, but she shamed me for putting a lock on Zoey's door too. She said I was preventing Zoey’s cousins from "spending time" with her, saying I was supposed to treat them like daughters. She demanded I remove it, but I said the lock does not get removed until her brother and his daughters are out of our house.

She got mad I was implying we kick them out and said her family will hate me for this. so I reminded her that I let Sammy and his family move in, which is something her OWN family refused to do. If it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home. Everyone's been giving me and Zoey silent treatment and my wife is very much upset over this.

OnlyInQuebec9

2. What, This Old Thing?

blue vintage car on road during daytimePhoto by Doug Watanabe on Unsplash

I had a 1967 Impala four-door that I bought in February 2019. A couple of months ago, I bought my first house that had a 2.5-car garage. I moved the car in and started tearing it down for a complete restoration. I had the body in one bay and the chassis in another, plus the whole garage filled with parts. About two months ago, my girlfriend came to live with me and the whole time, she has hated that car.

She wants to park in the garage but I have two acres of land with a lot of nice places to park under shady trees or even in the barn if it has to be inside. I tell her tough luck, it’s my house and it’s not like I can just throw it back together real quick. Anyways I was out of town for a couple of days on a business trip for the small local company I work for.

When I got back, my girlfriend was all smiles. Making me food all the time, doing all the chores, all that. I thought maybe she just was happy to have me home. But then I made a chilling realization. I didn’t see her car in its usual spot. I asked her where she parked so I could make sure I mow that area and keep it clean, and she said not to worry…because she parked in the garage.

I asked how and she told me to go check it out. Turns out that while I was gone she hired some people to come over and move everything related to that car, including the drivetrain, body, chassis, and all parts, and take it to the local dump/scrapyard. I was absolutely dumbfounded. I had spent over 11k on that car including new parts, services, and the car itself. I knew what I had to do.

I told her that I was going to be taking her to court for that. She brushed me off like I was being dramatic. I told her that it was done between us and to pack her things and leave. I admit I was really angry but I did end up getting a lawyer, and as I have all the receipts for all that money spent and I have her on my house's security cam footage letting the guys in and watching them take it all, I think I can win.

Her family and friends are absolutely blowing me up saying it’s just a stupid old piece of junk and that she cannot pay back all that money I spent, and that I should just let it go. But I have been putting all my time, effort, and money into that car for a year and a half now and goddarnit if I am not going to get justice for what she did.

Jimothyisyouruncle

3. Pick On Somebody Your Own Size

woman holding magnifying glassPhoto by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

I am a high schooler with a weekend job at a coffee shop. My co-workers who work weekends are: James, the owner’s son, who goes to my school. He's a shift manager but it's not a real formal thing. He's a friendly guy. And then there’s Danielle, who is a college student who sometimes works weekends too. So, sometimes customers will come in and just be angry about such little stuff.

Like literally get angry about nothing. I don’t know if they’re in a bad mood already and looking for someone to take it out on or what, but it's a lot. Like, how sad do you have to be to be a grown man taking your anger out on high school and college kids? Recently, James and I were joking about having a little fun with them and hopefully getting them off our backs.

So one day I was at work and some guy was having a temper tantrum about how we don't make the coffee hot enough...which I couldn't do a thing about, because I gave it to him right out of the machine. James came in and was like, "Sir is there a problem here?" and the guy started ranting at him too. Here’s where we started to turn the tables.

He looked at me and said, "This is unacceptable, you're fired." I started acting real sad, like "No please don't fire me, my family needs the money, I need this job, pleaseeee" and he played up being a jerk, telling me to take off my apron and leave. The angry guy started to backtrack, like "It isn't that big of a problem, you don't need to fire her over it. I didn't mean it."

James was like "No, we pride ourselves on the best customer service." Of course, after all that drama I still had my job, we were just acting. And we've done it a couple of times, whenever a customer will lose their temper at Danielle or I, James will storm in and "fire" us. And almost every time, the person who had come in angry will apologize and say that they didn't mean it.

It's kind of satisfying, making people realize their actions might actually have consequences.

throwRA-fhfsveyary

4. Daddy Issues

woman in black and white long sleeve shirt sitting beside brown tree during daytimePhoto by Dan Senior on Unsplash

My step-daughter, Madeline, was about a year old when I married her mother, Jessica. Madeline’s father passed before she was born. Madeline is currently 15, and she’s rebelling at almost everything. She did something bad, so while picking her up, I set a punishment up for her. Then she said “You’re not my dad. I don’t have to follow you.”

Honestly, I got a bit hurt from that. But I understand that she didn’t mean it, and that she’d probably change. I just replied, “I’m still your guardian for the next three years, and as long as you’re in my house, you have to follow my rules.” That happened about two days ago. So our family was going grocery shopping when Madeline said “I’m hungry. I need food.”

I decide to be extremely cheeky and say “Hi Hungry, I’m not your dad.” My son just started to laugh uncontrollably. My daughter was just quiet with embarrassment. And my wife was berating me and telling me “Not to stoop down to her level.” I honestly thought it was a funny dad joke, and my son agrees, but who knows.

DadJokeAITA

5. Mood Swings

woman using dumbbellsPhoto by CATHY PHAM on Unsplash

My wife is pregnant with our daughter. Initially, we were really happy and excited about it. But then, it all goes wrong. She starts acting like a nut job. She gets angry and irritated at small things, insults me when she doesn't like the food I make, starts acting insecure, and accuses me of losing my attraction for her. For example, she wanted to eat chicken sandwiches for dinner last week.

Well, I made chicken sandwiches. So she eats all the sandwiches, leaves me nothing, and told me that they tasted like garbage. If she didn't like them, why did she have to eat everything? When I asked her this, she told me that she was hungry. Ok fine. She does this every time. Eats everything I make and calls it garbage. I don't argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week and I really want to have some peace when I'm home.

So, yesterday, a random girl starts flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks. I rejected her and told her that I was married. And when I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologize. That’s when I learned the dark truth. When I asked her what happened, she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty.

So they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and ask me out. And I passed. Yay?!!? I'm really angry. I'm done with her antics.

Stupidtest_

6. Show Me The Money

grayscale photo of man with mouth openPhoto by Alessandro Bellone on Unsplash

My aunt and uncle are paying for my cousin’s college. My dad had a college fund for me, but he had stipulations, like he wanted nothing below a B for grades and to pre-approve any classes I take, weekly meetings to discuss grades, and a bunch of other stuff. Which would be fine if you have a normal dad. Mine isn't. My father is secretly a nightmare.

My dad has a temper, and I spent 6th-12th grade stressed out about grades and being screamed at or grounded over things that sometimes weren't even my fault, like a teacher not updating online grading and an assignment being marked "missing" because of it. I also dealt with getting my backpack and locker randomly searched by him for no reason besides "to make sure I'm not hiding anything ."

So I decided to pay for school myself. I didn't feel like constantly worrying that he'd disapprove of a class or a grade and decide not to pay, which I could totally see him doing. I'd rather be in debt than have him control me for four more years. I just finished my first year. My family got together recently and, well, sometimes they're nosy. They were talking about my cousin’s school.

My uncle looked at my dad and said, "Well how much is school costing you?" My reply was perfect. I said, "What are you asking him for? I'm the one paying for it." Later on my dad was ticked off and said that it was out of line to say that and that I embarrassed him. I didn't do it to embarrass him, I was just being honest. He doesn't even know how much tuition is, so he was the wrong person to ask.

yeasothat

7. Bringing Home The Bacon

bowl of vegetable saladsPhoto by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

I’m a dad who loves his daughter to pieces but I’m struggling to see eye to eye with my teenager and wife on this one. We’ve always been a meat-eating family. We live in the rural Midwest and bacon for breakfast is pretty much a given. This year, my 14-year-old daughter decided to go vegan, and I jumped on to her support team with enthusiasm.

We learned how to substitute ingredients, cook new things, try new things, I adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc. None of this has been a problem for me. Until recently, something changed. She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load it in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger (teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it) and said that that was HER pan for vegan food.

I was completely floored and said, kiddo this here is a family pan, older than you, it’s not YOUR pan. She asked me to purchase her a pan that she can solely use for vegan food. I didn’t want her to feel weird about food, so I said sure, and ordered her a few colored ones that are only for her. The reason they’re colored is so it helps me remember that I’m not to touch them unless I’m cooking vegan. But then it got weird.

That wasn’t good enough. Now apparently the dishwasher is “contaminated” with animal product and the fridge has “bacon grease fingers” on it (because I eat bacon and then touch the fridge) and she’s asked me and her mom to completely stop eating meat at home. I don’t mean I literally touch the fridge with greasy bacon hands, because I wash my hands, but it’s clearly enough that it upsets my daughter.

Frankly, I’m on team heck no, but her mom is much more amenable and strongly wants me to consider taking our daughter up on the request. My wife’s reasoning is that both our parents live close so we can eat meat products there, and that she doesn’t want our daughter to feel uncomfortable in the kitchen. My daughter says she is fine with cheese and butter in the fridge, but it’s specifically meat products that make her feel sick.

Now I’m sorry for her, but I feel like she just needs to adapt and live side by side, because I’m not going to stop eating bacon in my own house.

frustratingbaconeate

8. Hero Of The Day

macbook pro displaying group of peoplePhoto by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash

My older sister and her fiancé were planning for over a year for their wedding to be this month. Obviously because of the pandemic, they can’t have the wedding as planned, but they still would like to get married, so they decided on a “Zoom” wedding where all of the family/friends would just call in to watch the officiant, my sister, and her fiancé.

My sister didn’t want to be in charge of hosting the Zoom call because she thought it would stress her out, so she asked me to and I gladly accepted. She and her fiancé decided to invite everyone they originally wanted to, and it was a very big list. When we were going over the list, my sister mentioned to me that she wanted everyone else to be muted for the majority of the wedding, as she was worried that others would talk over her and her fiancé and “overshadow” them on their big day “that was already scaled down.”

However, her and her fiancé said that I should unmute everyone at one point so everyone could talk and have a nice time with each other. Fast-forward to the day of the wedding—everyone is muted during the ceremony which goes great, and so I then unmute everyone and ask them to please raise a hand if they’d like to talk so it doesn’t get confusing.

My cousin (around my age) starts waving his hand crazily, and he’s with his long-time girlfriend. He’s a very gregarious guy, so I was not surprised. Then, he says stuff like “The bride and groom are such an inspiration, it’s given me the courage to do this....” then he turns to his girlfriend and pulls out a box that is the size of an engagement ring box?? I immediately saw this as him trying to take the spotlight.

This is something that he’s done since we were kids. For example, he would secretly mess up my sister’s or my drawings if the adults would praise ours. So, I booted him off of the call before he could do it. Then I quickly announced that my cousin had technical difficulties and would not be joining again. Everyone else accepted this and went about talking, and my sister and her husband did too.

The rest of the wedding went smoothly—except for the fact that my cousin kept texting me angrily saying that he finally wanted to propose as a surprise with family all around and I ruined it. My aunt and uncle texted me the same.

Additional-Pizza-805

9. Sophie’s Choice

man in white scrub suit lying on hospital bedPhoto by Mufid Majnun on Unsplash

Context: My older sister and I lost our dad a year ago. He was my only parent; mom was never in my or my sister's life. Dad left money (inheritance) for me and my sister, and she used it to get new cars and renovate her house. I live with my aunt right now because my brother-in-law didn't let me stay with my sister. I'm planning on using my money to pay for college tuition.

I've always wanted to be a doctor but haven't decided which branch yet. My sister and I haven't been close. It started after she got married to her chronically ill husband who she allowed to make backhanded comments about dad and mock his illness and make a scene at his funeral. I've distanced myself, but my sister kept visiting a lot lately and venting about her husband’s condition.

He's been in and out of the hospital for heart problems and is in need of surgery. She brought up my inheritance money several times but I end up cutting off the conversation. She then straight-up asked if I could help pay for her husband's surgery and said she'd pay It back in less than a year. I felt uneasy because if I give her money, there's no guarantee she'll pay it back before it's time for me to apply for college.

I felt I was risking my future, and I refused to help. It turned so ugly in the blink of an eye. She had a meltdown at my aunt's house, calling me heartless, cruel with no empathy. She said that her husband's health should be a priority and I needed to help because education is nothing compared to someone's health. She asked if I'd be happy to see her as a widow and my nephew with no father.

My aunt suggested others pay, but most of them cut my sister and her husband off long ago. I argued that her husband's poor health isn't my fault after she kept blaming and guilt-tripping me. She kept crying and although my aunt decided to stay out of it, she said that I should be prepared for permanent damage in my relationship with my sister if I don't help her now.

My sister has been sending texts and pictures of her family, telling me this is what I was saying no to, a happy healthy family with a healthy husband and father. I cried and felt like I was being selfish, not a good aunt and sister. I asked my friend and he said let them sell the cars and all the luxurious stuff they bought to afford the surgery. He warned me if I give them money I'll never get it back and may not be able to go to medical school.

Home-Time-6077

10. You Get What You Put In

men's gray crew-neck long-sleeve shirtPhoto by Tom Morel on Unsplash

So my son had a long-distance girlfriend recently for about two years. She was great, a really nice girl and we all loved her and welcomed her with open arms. She was flying here constantly to visit him, like a weekend a month. However, he didn’t lift a finger to go visit her. I tried talking to him about it several times and told him he should really start looking into flying over to her instead of expecting her to do all the traveling.

He said no. And my wife probably had something to do with it as she constantly told him she was afraid of him flying. I spoke to them both and said this girl is great for him, she was willing to move over to our country too, but said there was one condition and that was he’d have to fly over to her country too, which is fair enough. He said no, he didn’t want to fly or travel anywhere.

My son was becoming lazier and lazier, eventually telling his girlfriend and us that he was perfectly fine never traveling anywhere including holidays, etc. It came back to bite him. Last week, he told us she’s dumped him. I went on her Facebook page as we’re all still friends—she wrote us an apology letter about how she’s upset it didn’t work out but these things happen, so we’re on good terms.

It looks like she’s with a new guy already. Me and my wife have no doubt she was seeing him while still in a relationship with my son. But I had to make a scandalous revelation. I confessed to them both that I actually agree with her decision and he should have expected it. He did not treat her properly and I hope he learns lessons for the next one because he needs to make more of an effort.

I said he deserves this for his lack of effort in the relationship and for essentially just allowing this girl to spend all her money and time coming here all the time. My wife and son are very upset that I said this. Very, very upset and my wife says I am being horrible. Well, I stand by what I said.

inappropriatedress

11. I’ll Go My Own Way

woman in black academic gown standing on green grass field during daytimePhoto by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

I was raised by parents who believed (religiously and also culturally) in rigid gender roles. Dad should work, mom should stay home with the kids. I’m the only girl and have three brothers. Because of their expectation that I’d stay home with kids, they never valued my education, educational achievements or emphasized things beyond domestic skills.

I’m the second youngest. By the time I was in high school, my two older brothers had gone to the college of their choice, with my parents fully covering tuition, books, an off-campus apartment, and other living expenses. They eventually did the same for my younger brother. I was told I wasn’t allowed to apply for college. So I came up with a plan of my own. I did so in secret and got accepted with a partial scholarship. I didn’t tell them I was moving out until a week before I left.

I did this with essentially nothing but what a few friends gave to me that their parents bought “them” for college. I took engineering and had to work, take on debt, and struggle. My parents and I have barely spoken for years. I’m married now and expecting our first child, and they asked to meet up. We met at a park, and they said they were “Sorry if they caused me pain” but would like a relationship now.

I asked them specifically what they were sorry for. They wouldn’t elaborate and just said they wanted to move forward. I said that wasn’t sufficient. In the end, I said they could prove they were sorry by forwarding me the $100K my degree and college expenses cost, just like they did for my brothers. My mom burst into tears, my dad said I wasn’t being serious and I just left.

Since then, I’ve been getting calls from my brothers telling me I’m being immature and hurtful. I don’t think so at all.

DaisyChained89

12. Just Desserts

green and pink plastic containerPhoto by Ello on Unsplash

Me and two other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills. The only thing we don’t split costs on is groceries. Everyone’s in charge of buying their own food and we don’t touch whatever doesn’t belong to us in the fridge. We put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up. This issue has been going on for almost a year and I’m sick of it.

One of my roommates, Ray, keeps taking my food. I get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing (they have my name written on it), or my stuff finishes too quick. My gallon of milk for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste. But it seems to finish after a week even though I’ve only drank it once or twice.

I confronted Ray about this lots of times and that’s caused a lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me I’m crazy even though it’s so obvious. My other roommate and I carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so I know it’s not him. It’s always after we get back home and Ray’s already left for work that I notice my food’s gone.

My roommate’s also had a similar problem but not as often as I do. I’m guessing this is because Ray doesn’t like what he buys. The funny thing is Ray buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what’s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it. Last week, my milk was nearly empty again and I got fed up. I don’t regret what I did.

I went to the store and bought regular dairy milk. I drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one I bought. This was to catch/prove Ray is the one taking it…since he’s lactose intolerant. The next day, Saturday, we get back from work and Ray is steaming. He yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 minutes with diarrhea because of my milk; he was using it to make a shake.

I only responded with “So then you’re the one who’s been taking it?” He freaking exploded. Yeah, he admitted he was “sometimes” drinking my milk and eating my food but he was madder that I switched kinds of milk than the fact that he was caught. I told him I wouldn’t have done that if he’d just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of trying to make it seem like I was making it up.

My roommate backed me up and thought it was kind of funny he got payback for taking from us. It’s a little tense right now and my roommate told me Ray is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out. Little does he know, we’re both looking to move somewhere else together cause we are sick of his antics. However, I told some buddies what happened and a few think I was a jerk for that. I feel like I’m not in the wrong here.

gottmilk_

13. Family First

girl in blue and green crew neck shirt smilingPhoto by Levi Meir Clancy on Unsplash

I’m 30 and my 12-year-old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sister for the time being. She is a really great kid and to be honest, I feel in a lot of ways like she’s my own kid because my mom and dad don’t speak English, so I kind of had to raise my sister in ways that they couldn’t.

It’s hard to explain but I’m sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean. My mom and dad are great parents, but having an English-speaking person to guide you through stuff when you live in an English-speaking country is invaluable, and my sister trusts me with stuff she won’t necessarily trust my parents with. Anyway, my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a T-shirt because it’s hot.

My girlfriend waited until my sister had left the area—but not the room—and made a face. Then she said something that made my blood boil. She said, “Maybe feed her less, her thighs are kinda chunky.” I saw red and told her to shut up and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby, but who says stuff like that about a 12-year-old girl?

Since then, literally. Everybody. I. Know. has been texting me that I’m a bad boyfriend and asking how can I disrespect my girlfriend like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock, everybody is expecting ME to apologize.

bluebells-in-disguis

14. Money Changes Everything

white and red calendar on white wallPhoto by Waldemar on Unsplash

I recently won a bunch of money. I won’t say exactly how much but it’s in the millions. It makes me feel funny even typing this. It’s enough to change the life of myself and my family. My ex-wife is the mother of my two kids. She is an amazing woman and good to the bone. We divorced six years ago because I had an affair with my current partner.

I was in a low place in my life and I messed up. She was in incredible pain but—like a saint—she allowed me to still see our kids who mean the world to me, allowed our divorce to be as pain-free as possible despite the fact that I know she was hurting. She still is close with my parents. She is respectful to me although she refuses to talk to my girlfriend.

She was actually the first person I phoned after my mom and pops after I found out I won the lottery. She was pleased for me, joked that I could take the kids on a world round trip, and that was that. Nothing else. As soon as I won, I knew I wanted to give her a significant amount. I still love her. She’s the mother of my babies and I feel like this is some small tiny way I can show her that I’m not a complete screw-up.

She deserves to know that I care despite my mistakes. She also works an awful job in the public library which pays her peanuts. She would actually be able to pursue her hobbies this way. Give our kids a better life between us. I haven’t discussed this with my ex yet, but I have with my parents, who strongly agree, and my lawyer who was very surprised but on board. But there was one person who objected…

Long story short, when I told my girlfriend, she was livid. Screaming that I’m disrespecting her, accusing me of still being in love with my ex-wife. By the way, I’m not in love with her. We’ve both grown apart, but of course, I still love her for being an excellent co-parenting partner and mother to my kids. My girlfriend is threatening to break up with me, and to be honest I’m feeling incredibly relieved over the threats. I don’t plan on changing my plans.

binkies123

15. The Weight Of The World

silver fork and knife on platePhoto by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Someone got the brilliant idea to make an office diet bet, with people pooling in their money to see who can lose the most weight by Thanksgiving. I am one of seven people not participating. There are lots of pregnant people, some bodybuilders, and people who maintained their weight who aren't interested. However, since I've visibly gained weight, they thought I'd want to participate.

I didn't. Jen, in charge of everything, kept dropping by to remind me to turn in my form and my money. I said "No thanks." Jen wouldn't drop it. Other people got involved, asking me why not all the time, it'll be fun! Don't be scared, I'd "feel better" and "look better" (I told them no, I wouldn't) and it's a great way to bond, we're all in it together, it's like Weight Watchers!

"I'm not interested," and then eventually, "I. Said. No. Drop it." But it was so far from over. They decided I wanted them to convince me. Two weeks into the bet, they tried to trick me onto the scale to "shock" me. I contacted HR, people finally backed down. I'm eating my food one day (rice and beans), and people sitting with me start dropping hints that how they feel so much better now that they aren't eating carby comfort food all the time.

I said "I'm glad you feel better." They took this as a sign that I "knew" I'd "feel better" again and started up saying I could still join in. I finally snapped and revealed my secret. I said, "You guys suck. I'm a recovering anorexic. I get one whiff of competition and start starving myself for days and start puking up what I do eat until I'd have to get my third oral surgery to remove rotting teeth. Does that sound worth it to you?"

Chorus of "wow" and "we were just joking." I said "No, you weren't just joking. Congratulations, by the way. After you all wouldn't stop, I weighed myself for the first time in seven years and didn't eat for two days. Does that make you all feel good?" None of them would look me in the eye, so I just went home for the day. I got a call from the women in HR, who were shockingly supportive of me.

One of the bodybuilder guys stepped up and said he's witnessed a lot of the harassment and he doesn't blame me for my outburst. A few others did too. However, they had to cancel the diet bet (I didn't ask them to) and people are blaming me. Saying that I can't take a joke, it wasn't "that deep"—and it gets even more infuriating. The girls present said they no longer feel "safe" working with me because I obviously have mental issues.

One of them made a big stink about "politically correct” stuff and how I'm the typical hypersensitive millennial. I go back and forth on this all day, thinking I should have just swallowed my anger and gone back to HR or just stopped eating lunch in the office or whatever. I didn't mean to ruin anyone's fun but I also feel justified in pushing back on their harassment.

cassiesfurcoat

16. House Hunters

trees beside white housePhoto by Phil Hearing on Unsplash

I have a friend who purchased a house late last year. It's an awesome two-story townhouse and I've been over there plenty of times to help out with moving/decorating and for hanging out. Her parents purchased the house for her and her partner. I truly have no issue with this as the housing market is terrible for buyers so more power to them for being homeowners.

I recently, unfortunately, inherited my parents’ house, which is a three-bedroom out in the sticks. The issue: We went appliance shopping because most of the stuff in the house was 10-15 years old. We were standing with an employee who I had asked to recommend some smaller items like toasters and kettles when the employee asked if I was moving out as general chit-chat.

I told him I was moving, and he asked whether I bought or rented. I told him bought, because it was just easier and less awkward than telling him I inherited the house. He told me that was cool and began talking about the toasters again when my friend cut in that I had inherited my house, not purchased it. The employee went quiet and I gave her a "what was that" face.

I was taken aback, and she continued on saying "Yeah, I purchased my house." I asked "Does it really matter? I'm here to buy some kitchen appliances, not tell this guy my personal issues." She grinned and said, "It's just for the record," which made me more confused and annoyed. You can probably see where this is going. I replied, "Oh okay then, if it's just for the record, your parents purchased your house for you."

The employee quickly retreated and my friend walked outside of the shop. I caught up with her and she said I was a massive jerk for pointing out she couldn't afford to own without her parents’ help. I returned with a very similar "My parents also helped me with getting a house too, just in a really terrible way." AKA, dying. My partner agrees with me, saying that she's the one who opened that door, but our other friends are split almost 50/50.

Sadhouse27

17. A Kiss Is Just A Kiss

woman in blue denim jacket and white pantsPhoto by Ilya Shishikhin on Unsplash

I study drama at university, and my boyfriend is in the same course. My boyfriend is a really good-looking guy, but he doesn't seem to know it. He gets a lot of attention from girls and for the most part, doesn't seem to get that they're flirting with him. I'm not generally annoyed by this, and never really say anything. However, there's one girl in our class, let's call her Victoria, who is obsessed with my boyfriend.

She goes out of her way to be paired with him in group activities (for example, if the professor picks groups by numbering us 1, 2, 3, she will move herself to be in the same number as him) and she recently stepped down from a main role in a play we're doing so she could be in a more minor one, simply because this character has a romance with my boyfriend.

I know this is the case, because I've heard her say to her friends that she thinks he's hot and whatnot. I've never said anything to her about it, because she seems pretty insecure (always complaining about how she thinks she's ugly) and I don't see it as a big deal because my boyfriend doesn't care. However, we recently performed the play and had a small afterparty.

She got slightly tipsy was bragging about how she “definitely felt something” when they kissed in the play and she's “going to ask him if he felt the same.” I rolled my eyes and again ignored it, until she actually went up to my boyfriend. When she went up to him I was there too. Victoria started saying that she knows he must have felt a spark, he's a really good kisser, etc.

I snapped. I sort of shouted at her that “You sound incredibly desperate, going after somebody else's boyfriend. You're pathetic if you think a stage kiss means you should be together.” She looked super embarrassed and walked away, and I later heard she'd gone home crying. I feel like a jerk because she's obviously insecure and whatnot, and her friends haven't stopped calling me a witch since.

abc_throwaway

18. Can’t Bury The Hatchet

well-lit house at nightPhoto by Juliana Malta on Unsplash

Some backstory: I had been dating my ex-fiancé Sarah for four years. We had been planning to get married but I found out recently that she cheated on me. She begged me to give her another chance but I broke it off. The problem was that being cheated on is, in my mind, completely emasculating and humiliating. So I never told anyone that was the reason we broke up.

For obvious reasons, Sarah also didn’t tell people we broke up because she cheated. So people have “blamed” me for the breakup, including my mom. They just see that I dumped her out of the blue. I’ve gone very strict no contact with Sarah after I discovered she was cheating on me. Sarah has been talking with my mom and has convinced her that if we could talk one more time, we would be able to reconcile.

My mom has been applying pressure on me to talk with Sarah but I’ve explained that there’s no chance we will ever get back together. So tonight I go over to my mom’s place because she’s hosting family for Christmas Eve. I’m there for a bit talking with my aunts and uncles and cousins when the doorbell rings. I look outside to a heart-stopping sight.

I can see it’s Sarah. I ask what the heck is going on and my mom says she invited Sarah so we can work this out in the spirit of the holidays. I’m angry now because the only way to explain my side of the story is to tell everyone I was cheated on. Complete humiliation in front of my whole family. So as my mom goes to the front door, I go into the bathroom.

My mom starts knocking on the door saying that I need to come out and talk to my ex like an adult. I say screw it, kick out the window screen, get in my car, and go home. My mom called a short while ago saying she’s cutting ties with me over my behavior (she’s really fixated on me jumping out of a window) and that Sarah will always be like a child to her.

My sister also called me after to ream me out for ruining Christmas. I broke down and told her that Sarah cheated on me which is why I dumped her and didn’t want to see her under any circumstances. She called me a big jerk who was lying to cover for myself.

holidayholethrow

19. Between A Rock And A Hard Place

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in gray sweaterPhoto by Renate Vanaga on Unsplash

Okay, this is the worst. I’m losing sleep over this. I’m getting married in a week to an awesome woman, and I cannot wait to be her husband, we are so excited. My brother is gay, but my family doesn’t know, only me and my parents know. I come from a very old-school traditional family, so the old part of the family, grandparents, and some aunts/uncles still have last century’s mind, and the younger portion, cousins/siblings are open-minded and are living in the present.

So my brother has been dating his boyfriend for six months now, the dude is great, I’m so happy my brother found a great guy. But it’s kind of a secret, as he hasn’t told my family he is gay. I’ve been telling him for years that he should come out, cause I know it stresses him a lot, and I think it will make him feel better not to hide anymore, plus I bet a few family members already know anyway.

But he disagrees cause he knows a part of the family won’t accept it and it will be a lot of drama. I see the opposite. I see it as the sooner you know who the idiots are, the sooner we can cut them from our lives. I have no interest in having someone in my life that doesn’t accept my brother being gay. Anyway, that’s his decision not mine, so for now he won’t say anything.

Until a few weeks ago—that’s when he dropped a big revelation on me. He said he wants to bring his boyfriend to my wedding. I was not expecting that, to be honest. So he went from 0 to 100 pretty fast. If it was any other occasion I would be supportive obviously, but I don’t think my wedding day is the day to do that. Imagine all the drama and gossip that would happen.

And I don’t want to get the attention away from my fiancée, that’s her day. And I don’t want to have to worry about that on my wedding day, and I think it’s a pretty good reason. I asked him why my wedding day, and he said it’s because he wants to celebrate love with the two people he loves the most, me and his boyfriend. This is ruining me.

I would fight my whole family for my brother and never speak to them again if I had to, but my wedding day is supposed to be a celebration, not a family fight, and I can’t do this to my wife, that might ruin our future. I didn’t even tell her. She is already stressed out, I don’t want to make it even worse. With a heavy heart, I asked him to please come alone to the wedding, and that I hope he understands me.

He started crying and left my house without saying anything. The next day I got a text and he said “Don’t worry, going alone.” I tried calling him but he didn’t answer me, and my parents don’t seem to know what’s happening because they didn’t say anything. He eventually called me back a few days later, we spoke, he said he understands my side, but things are still weird between us. This is the worst situation of my life.

macacaralho

20. The Buck Stops Here

a group of people sitting around a table with foodPhoto by Spencer Davis on Unsplash

I lost my wife in a car accident. She was 51. I was in deep mourning for about a year after. I met my new girlfriend, Chelsea, around January. Chelsea was the one who made me laugh for the first time after my wife passed. She’s smart as heck (three Ivy League degrees), has a dark sense of humor that I love, is a terrific cook, and overall an amazing woman who I can imagine spending the rest of my life with.

She is also on the heavier side, a fact that becomes relevant later. I have two young adult children, a boy named Evan and a girl named Alice. They were well aware that I had gotten a new girlfriend before I first introduced them to Chelsea this summer. She got along immediately with Evan, but Alice was very, very standoffish. After that initial meeting, I asked Alice if there was something wrong but she denied it.

Chelsea made a few more attempts to get to know Alice but they were all rudely rejected. Evan and Alice both came home for Thanksgiving dinner. I asked Alice to please be polite during the meal since she’s always been rude in her interactions with Chelsea even though Chelsea has been nothing but gracious in return. The dinner was going as well as it could have for the first 10 minutes, although I noticed Alice glaring at Chelsea the entire time.

When Chelsea went to grab her third helping of mashed potatoes, Alice said “Don’t you think you’ve eaten enough, you fat pig?” Chelsea started sobbing immediately and ran off into the bedroom. I felt my face turn red and told Alice to get out. About half an hour after Alice left, I texted her stating that I would no longer pay her tuition unless she apologizes to Chelsea and Chelsea accepts her apology.

Alice must have assumed that I was bluffing because she instead doubled down on her behavior. I then logged into her university’s tuition payment website, canceled next semester’s tuition, and sent Alice the screenshots. She called me crying and begging me to reconsider…but I told her my mind was made up.

ecrpa3943

21. Something’s Fishy

selective focus photography of goldfishPhoto by pouria oskuie on Unsplash

My classmate recently made a TikTok and she showed it to a group of people at lunchtime. They were next to our table so I overheard the girl say, "Hey look at my TikTok I made, come check it out" and in it she explains how she "rescued" goldfish from the pet store and released them into the ocean so they can live free.

I was horrified upon hearing this. I love fish and have several aquariums so I'm fairly knowledgeable on them. I walk over and I ask her to show me the video. She asked me why and I said, "You realize you're actually an idiot right? This is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.” Her friend says, "Well that's just rude, why would you say that?” To which I had to explain that goldfish are freshwater fish. They can't survive the ocean because it’s saltwater, so all of those goldfish were goners in minutes.

Lastly, you never release animals into the wild. There are goldfish that are destroying our rivers and lakes because of idiots like her. I later get called into the principal's office, where he told me I was expected to apologize. I said no, I stand by what I said. Screw ignorant people who destroy the environment. My parents were called over and I got sent home. I might get suspended.

Sensitive-Fun-99

22. Marking His Territory

woman in black tank top wearing silver ringPhoto by Jez Timms on Unsplash

My dad passed suddenly about a year ago, and my mom found this really nice guy that she’s started seeing. I’m 23 and going into my final year of college. My mom’s boyfriend has two daughters, ages 15 and 13. My mom has stepped in to be a mother figure to them, and the boyfriend has stepped into my extended family, becoming everyone’s favorite uncle. And while I’m glad everyone else is comfortable, I’m not.

He isn’t a bad guy, I’m just still grieving my father and it feels like he’s trying to replace him. He tries to set rules for me, things like chores and curfew, that my dad specifically didn’t because he thought they were ridiculous for an adult. The boyfriend thinks it’s only fair because I have siblings now. I think it’s ridiculous to have the same rules apply because of our age differences.

He’s also trying to get me to share my stuff with his kids. They aren’t lacking for anything but he thinks it’s only fair because “family.” I live in the basement of my mom’s house and I have since I was 15. When you come in the front door there’s a door to the basement and the stairs to go into the house, so it’s pretty separate. So last night I with some friends and got home at 2 am.

I had nothing to do until 3 pm today since classes aren’t until next week and my new job starts in two weeks. This has never been a big deal with my parents. I shot my mom a text and went to bed. Tonight though, man, the boyfriend flipped. I got a lecture and sent to my room and “possible loss of car privileges.” I snapped and gave him a big piece of my mind.

I told him I’m leaving the city after I graduate. I told him I’m glad my mom found a new partner but that I am not and will not be looking for a new father figure, and he needs to respect that. I told him that he needs to respect me as an adult or that I won’t want to have a relationship with him. He told my family and they think I’m the jerk.

Permalink

23. Getting Testy

man wearing black and teal dress suit standing near gray wallPhoto by Gregory Hayes on Unsplash

My brother is a very hard-working man, and at 27 he is now very wealthy and doing well for himself. He’s been with this girl for six months and throughout the time we have gotten close because we both like hair, makeup, and shopping. I never knew there was anything wrong with their relationship—until she texted me last week, saying while she would love to hang out, she thinks it’ll be inappropriate because she and my brother broke up.

I asked her why and she said she was sick and tired of “auditioning” to prove she was with him for the right reasons. This is when the lid got blown off all my brother’s issues. She went on to say that my brother is paranoid she’s after his money so he would test her like leaving out his bank statements on their bed and getting upset when she picked them up. Or going out to eat at high-end restaurants he requested and leaving his wallet at home on purpose to make her pay the bill and prove she’s not going out with him for money.

He would also never buy her gifts and then question her when she asked why he doesn’t. I was shocked so I had to hear my brother’s perspective. We spoke and he told me everything she said was true and that there’s nothing wrong with making sure his girlfriend is with him for the right reasons. He said he left his bank statements on the bed and was peeking through the door to see if she would be curious.

When he saw her pick up the papers he knew in his gut she was using him for his money, so he set up the restaurant idea to see if she would get upset at paying a $500 bill, which she was. I asked him if he thinks her being an elementary school teacher could’ve contributed to her being upset at a $500 bill at a restaurant he wanted to go to, and he said no.

He said the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she asked him why he hasn’t bought her a single gift since they’ve started dating when she bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car. He said he knew she was just discreetly asking him to buy her an expensive gift. He confronted her and said he thinks she was with him for his money.

In response, she said, “Let me do us both a favor” and dumped him and blocked him. He’s upset about the “gold-digging witch,” and when I laughed he called me a jerk. He said I would never understand what’s it’s like being a rich man and being used. I get that concern, but I told him if he thinks any woman will be okay with his tests and auditions he’s delusional as heck.

If he doesn’t want to be used for his money he should start dating people as wealthy as him or leave lower-income people alone if he’s not going to be genuine in his relationships unless they pass his “tests.”

shwnwneneb2929

24. It Skips A Generation

last will and testament white printer paperPhoto by Melinda Gimpel on Unsplash

My mother passed when I was 16, and my dad married another woman two years later. My grandparents, my dad's parents, HATE my stepmother. I really don't like her either. Even after my half-siblings were born, my grandparents never warmed up to her. My grandparents are quite wealthy, and my father has been banking on this inheritance for a while.

He has even been not paying into his retirement because he's so sure that he will inherit the millions. I just found out on Saturday that I'm getting the majority of my grandparents’ estate. My father is getting a token amount of $50,000, so he can't dispute it. My grandparents made me promise not to give out any money after, and I intend to keep my word.

But I do feel really guilty that my father just spends his money as it's coming in because he's relying on money he won't get. I also found out my dad is in a lot of debt.

gruyerech

25. What Goes Around Comes Around

silhouette photo of a man with hat standing near concrete building at daytimePhoto by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash

A while ago I was cuffed at work in front of my boss and co-workers. It was the most humiliating thing I've ever experienced. I later learned at the station that I was being charged with multiple felonies. This came as a huge surprise. Luckily I was able to keep my wits and lawyer up instead of speaking with the detective. For $13,000, which completely wiped my savings, I was able to retain a defense attorney.

It cost me everything and I was unable to pay my bond. This resulted in me staying in the slammer a total of 54 days. At a status hearing, my attorney presented video evidence of me gassing up my car three hours away from where the incidents took place and I ended up having all my charges dismissed. When I finally got out, I came to some horrific realizations.

I learned that I had lost my job, was in the process of being evicted, and my son was in the state's care. His mother is an addict and I haven't spoken to my own parents in nearly 15 years. They wouldn't let him go to my girlfriend because they didn't consider her family. Since my release, I've learned that I can't sue the government and no one cares that I was locked up for 54 days because the detective did poor investigation work.

I've gone to the local press about this and was told that what happened to me happens quite a bit. They took down my info but never followed up. So what I did was create a website sharing my story. I also uploaded the official report and some other documents from the discovery. Literally, the only reason why they took me in was that an eyewitness said they saw me.

If the detective had done his job, he could have verified that I wasn't even in town on the day the incident took place. This is what ticks me off the most. My life was ruined because of a lazy employee. I'm writing this now because my website is now ranked #2 on the first page of search results when you type in my town's name.

I live in a touristy town and we attract a lot of visitors over the summer. My web traffic has more than quadrupled, and apparently, it's gotten someone high up's attention. I received a cease and desist letter recently, which I showed to my attorney. He said sharing my experience online isn’t wrong and that everything I had stated was a fact or my own opinion, protecting me from a defamation lawsuit. Then I got quite the surprise.

Yesterday I received a visit from two officers and the detective who detained me. He apologized, stating "mistakes can happen." They then talked to me about my website and asked if I could remove it. I said I would delete it on the condition that the detective leave his job and never do work in that field again. Suffice to say, that isn't happening.

After the visit I received, I'm more angry that the only reason the detective apologized to me was to get me to take down my website. I don't plan to and the only one supporting this is my girlfriend. My friends think I'm being spiteful, and have suggested that I just delete it.

AnonymousMeese

26. By Any Other Name

chicken on trayPhoto by Jason Leung on Unsplash

I met my boyfriend three ago. Before me, he was with his high school sweetheart. They fell out of love and broke up. A year later, we started dating. His mom, however, was still heartbroken about it. I was very understanding and thought she needed time to get to know me. The ex basically grew up with them and they saw her as a part of the family. But that doesn’t excuse what she did.

For the first year of my relationship, his mom would call me the ex’s name, until boyfriend got angry once and told her to be nice. She laughed it off and said it was just a habit. After that, she started calling me the wrong name, Janet instead of Jenny. I corrected her a couple of times but she seemed to like hurting me so I ignored it later. Then I got my revenge.

My boyfriend has two sisters, and a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving we were invited to BBQ at the older sister’s house. I was in the kitchen with my boyfriend’s mom, the sisters, and one of their husbands. The older sister then talked about how my boyfriend praised my cooking to her husband and the mom was listening. She then said out loud “SURE! Why don’t we let Janet make the turkey this year?” The sisters giggled and looked at each other.

I simply said, “That’s a great idea!” I didn’t tell my boyfriend what happened. On Thanksgiving, we went to his mom’s house with the usual dessert, not with the turkey. His mom was shocked I didn’t bring it; everybody was shocked. I had the perfect reply. I said “What? I thought Janet was bringing the turkey!” There was yelling, crying, and then we got kicked out.

My boyfriend is so angry with me he hasn’t talked to me since. I think it’s over, to be honest. But I still don’t think I did anything wrong!

Throwawaygivings

27. Yeah, Mind Your Own Business

white mall buildingPhoto by mauro arrue on Unsplash

I was in a higher-end department store today and happened to end up next to two teenaged girls while shopping. One of the girls had picked out a pair of VERY expensive boots and they were both fawning over them. Second girl must have looked at the price tag and asks boots girl if she’s really gonna spend that much on boots. Girl with boots says something along the lines of “It’s fine, I have my dad’s credit card, I’m not paying.”

This instantly caught my attention because THAT’S NOT HER CARD. I’ve told my son multiple times he’s never allowed to use my card so I’m interested to see how this girl thinks she’s going to get away with it. However, I had split up from the girls at this point because they had found something else. We end up at the same register (me behind) and I see her total hit well over four digits.

The girl is about to swipe her card. I decide that I can’t let her get away with something like this. Someone has to parent this kid if no one else will. I tell the cashier that isn’t her card but her father’s and I’m not sure she has permission. The girl and friend turn and glare at me, giving me possibly the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen. I swear this girl was going to throw a tantrum right there, I don’t think she was ever told no.

The girl tells the cashier her father gave her the card to shop with because it’s the store’s credit card and it gives him the points. Now that I’ve pointed out it wasn’t hers, the cashier tells her she can’t use that card. The girl tries to show ID to prove they have the same last name (yeah that will help) and I tell her it’s still wrong. She says she has permission and tells me to mind my own business.

I tell her that it is my business that she’s doing something wrong and needs to pay with her own card or I call the authorities. Girl is angry now and people are glaring at me. She uses her own card and leaves crying. Even the cashier looks mad at me and I tell my husband when I get home, only for him to agree I was in the wrong. Now I’m not so sure…

aljsdhnrthrow

28. Both Sides Now

woman sitting on wing chairPhoto by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash

I am the by-product of my parents’ extra-marital affair. Both of them had spouses at the time. My birth mother got pregnant and had to tell her husband as he was overseas when I was conceived so there was no way I was his. A few months after I was born, they decided not to divorce their spouses. I was given to my grandparents on my mother’s side.

Throughout this, my birth father was secretly paying child support without his wife's knowledge. Both my parents had other children. My dad's side knows nothing about me but my siblings on my mom's side were told that I am adopted by my grandparents. Recently I decided that I wanted to know more about my dad's family and I sent friend requests to one of my siblings and my dad so I could get to know him.

He freaked out and contacted my birth mom and they asked to speak to me over Skype. They both told me that they couldn’t risk staying in contact with me and told me that they were going no-contact and to please respect it and move on with my life. Well, I did pretty much the opposite. I contacted my dad's wife and shared screenshots of our conversations and told her everything.

She is now divorcing him, while on my mother's side I told both my siblings, who then went on to tell the extended family—including her husband's side. So now they are separated and my siblings hate my mother. Currently, the lives of my siblings on both sides have been upturned and after the satisfaction has worn off, I feel like I unnecessarily hurt them through my parents.

childgonenuclear

29. Mom Versus Dad

woman in black and white dress sitting on concrete stairsPhoto by Zhivko Minkov on Unsplash

I have three girls who are 8, 10, and 12 years old. Their mother walked out on us for another man when our youngest was around four. My ex still stays in contact, though, and pays child support. A few weeks ago while doing laundry, I saw red spots on my eldest’s underwear. I asked her if she knew about it, and she cried and told me she tried to call her mom, but my ex didn't call back.

She'd been stuffing toilet paper in her underwear, hoping that would work. I explained to her that periods are nothing to be ashamed of, and found some great resources online for us to review together. I took her to the store to pick out brands of feminine products she wanted to use (she picked Playtex Sport because she's a gymnast). After we were done, I decided I should do the same thing with my other two.

My 12-year-old volunteered to be part of preparing them, and we made a whole night of it; it was wonderful, and I learned a lot. I even learned what a menstrual cup is, and how they benefit the environment. The other day, my ex called back. I'll usually arrange a video chat and leave the room so they can have some alone time, and when they're done chatting, I'll come back in to talk boring co-parenting stuff like school, bills, etc. Then it all went wrong.

This last time, my ex was FURIOUS with me for talking about periods with the girls. She shouted at me that I was sick and perverted, why didn't I call her myself if I knew it was so urgent, I could've called one of their grandmas/aunts. However, my mom has dementia, while her mom and sisters call me a loser because I teach kindergarten, so I'm not fond of them.

My ex told me I was being immature and should have just toughed it out for the girls. This really annoyed me, so I shouted back that maybe if she wasn't such a deadbeat and answered her phone once in a while, she could have handled this. I brought up everything she does that hurts them; she hasn't been to a single soccer game, piano recital, or gymnastics meet in two years, every other weekend when they come home from her house, they go straight to their rooms, only to emerge hours later asking me why she loves her new husband more than them, and what did they do to make her leave.

My ex responded by saying I should tell them it's not their fault I couldn't satisfy her, and I screamed and yelled while she just smirked and pointed behind me, saying "Look what you did." When I turned around, my stomach dropped. My eight-year-old and 10-year-old were standing in the doorway, crying. It broke my heart. I never shout, so I know I scared them.

My 12-year-old stormed in and started screaming at her mom, and while I appreciate her sticking up for me, this is not a battle I want her fighting. My ex hung up before I could fully de-escalate the situation, and let's just say the girls have been given free rein of the ice cream and limitless hours of video games, because I feel so bad. I even watched all the Twilight movies with them, so don't say I don't love them.

aitapostthrowaway

30. Know Your Worth

woman in gray cardigan and pink floral dress holding black coated wirePhoto by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

I'm a software engineer with a full-time job and a side hustle of doing freelance coding work in my own time. I've always been the type to have a side hustle I put a lot of my free time into; I get really bored sitting idle. My freelance hourly rates are $60 an hour, and at my full-time job my hourly pay works out to about $40 an hour. So that's how I value my time.

Anyway, over Christmas vacation, I was staying at my parents’ house. My cousin was also staying over with her three young kids from Christmas to New Year's. I'd been planning on doing some work on my freelance projects when I had free time in the mornings when my family had no plans. I wasn't in any rush; I was already ahead of schedule on them all, but I didn't really have anything else to do.

It was in a really rural area and it's like an hour's drive to the nearest anything. Then my cousin and her husband asked if I could babysit all day for three days so they could visit some friends in the area and hang out with just adults. I said I had planned on doing freelance work at the library, and she offered to pay me to babysit. I said I could if they got close to my freelance rates.

She wanted a number, and although my freelance rates are $60 I didn't feel like that was right, as it was high. But I didn't want to go too low; honestly babysitting three kids would be harder for me than the routine coding work I had for my freelance project. I don't know a lot about kids and I've never babysat for long, and I had a feeling it would be stressful and difficult.

So I said $35, which is below what I make hourly at work, and that is the bare minimum I'd value my time for if that time is spent doing difficult work. She went crazy. She said that's a ridiculous rate for babysitting, that I was entitled and being selfish, that I'm trying to take advantage of how she didn't have other options, etc. I said that's way below what I'd be making if I had the time to do my own work, and I'd be putting off my own work to babysit.

Her husband then got mad at me saying that I was a 24-year-old girl, that I'm darn near a child myself, that my time is not worth that much and it's childish to say that it was. He said that I was a stupid girl for not knowing that babysitting costs like 15 an hour, and when I grew up and have kids of my own I will see how stupid I was being. I was kind of done with being called stupid so I just told them I hoped they could find someone else.

My mom thinks that I asked for something offensive, and my cousin and her husband obviously did too.

HENNYDEFN

31. Not The Man For The Job

a man taking a picture with a cameraPhoto by Samuel Rios on Unsplash

I'm a dog groomer, and I take lots of photos of dogs all day to put on my Facebook and Instagram, it's "my thing" if that makes sense. A cut and a photo with every appointment. I very seldom shoot things other than dogs even if I have a nice set up. A friend got married a few days ago and, wanting to save money, asked if I'd shoot it for them.

I told him it's not really my forte but he convinced me by saying he didn't care if they were perfect. They were on a shoestring budget and I agreed to shoot it for $250, which is nothing for a 10-hour event. On the day of, I'm driving around following the bride as she goes from appointment to appointment before the ceremony, taking photos along the way.

I shoot the ceremony itself, and during the reception, I'm photographing speeches and people mingling. I started around 11 am and was due to finish around 7:30 pm. Around 5 pm, food is being served and I was told I cannot stop to eat because I need to be taking pictures; in fact, they didn't save me a spot at any table. I'm getting tired and at this point kind of regretting doing this for next to nothing.

It's also unbelievably hot. The venue is in an old veteran's legion and it's like 110F and there's no AC. I told the groom I need to take off for 20 minutes to get something to eat and drink. There's no open bar or anything, I can't even get water and my two water bottles are long empty. He tells me I need to either be the photographer, or leave without pay.

With the heat, being hungry, being generally annoyed at the circumstances, I asked if he was sure, and he said yes, so I deleted all the photos I took in front of him and took off, saying I'm not his photographer anymore. If I was to be paid $250, honestly at that point I would have paid $250 just for a glass of cold water and somewhere to sit for 5 minutes.

They went right on their honeymoon and they've all been off of social media, but a lot of people have been posting on their wall asking about photos with zero responses.

Icy-Reserve6995

32. Stay-At-Home Dad

a person wearing a mask and sitting at a deskPhoto by Samsung Memory on Unsplash

My much older sister called me saying that her work had an emergency and she needs to get there ASAP and needed me to watch her kids because “no one else can.” I rushed over there just to find her husband locked in his game room playing video games. I asked her why she called me over if he was home and she said he didn’t want to “babysit” because it was his only day off.

Sister left, and I started hanging with the kids. I was changing the baby’s diaper and the other kids wanted a snack. I told them to go ask their dad to make them a snack since the baby had a pretty big dump and it was going to take me a while to clean him up. I can’t believe what he said. Their dad sent them back upstairs and told them to ask me again.

After cleaning the baby up I made the kids a snack and their dad came out to eat and told me not to let the kids interrupt him on his day off. (By the way, he works part-time from home, six days a week). I kind of snapped at him and told him it was MY day off too and that he’s a useless father and husband if his wife has to rely on her teenage sister rather than her own husband.

He started telling me I was disrespectful and didn’t understand how hard parenting is, and I told him he clearly doesn’t understand how hard it is either, since he considers parenting his own children “babysitting.” He ended up kicking me out and apparently my sister was forced to come home because he told her she needed to figure it out since I’m her sister.

I feel like I may be the jerk here because my sister is mad at me, her husband is mad at me, my mom is mad at me for causing drama, but my dad thinks it’s funny and agrees with me. I definitely didn’t need to call him names but I just hate this guy so much. We have argued about things in the past as well so we already don’t have a great relationship.

My sister is saying I need to apologize to him and he is threatening to never let me into the kids’ lives if I keep disrespecting him.

Throwaway9876-57

33. Running Out Of Time

grayscale photo of car with flowersPhoto by panyawat auitpol on Unsplash

I'm the VP of Sales at a software company, and one of our sales development rep’s parents passed at the beginning of April. Sadly they were involved in a car crash and both lost their lives. Now, the employee in question is a very young, 22-year-old guy and has been with us for about 10 months now. He's a great employee and we were thinking about promotions in the next ~6 months for him.

His job is a high-paying one for a new grad, about ~90k with commission and base, so we expect a lot from this position. Because of the accident, we let him take a one-month paid leave of absence from work. It took a heartbreaking twist. He's returned a few weeks ago and his performance is severely lacking. He's super unmotivated, not cold calling, not reaching out to prospects for the last two-three weeks enough since he's come back.

Our whole management team has noticed this and we decided to let him go because we feel like he'd need months and months to be able to produce again and we just can't wait that long. We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news. He was very calm and very rude about it. Told us to go screw ourselves, got up and went to his desk, grabbed his few things, and left.

I thought this was very unprofessional and again, extremely rude. I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said we are the jerks with no hearts.

Resident_Occasion

34. Those Look Familiar

a washer and dryer in a roomPhoto by PlanetCare on Unsplash

My 20-year-old daughter and her fiancé are currently staying with us. I love my daughter but she is very difficult, and I can’t stand her fiancé. I gave them a deadline to move out because I can’t take this anymore. They got into a massive fight the other day while my wife was out. I guess a pair of my wife’s underwear got in with their laundry and she thought he was cheating.

I think the fact she immediately jumped to cheating shows how bad their relationship is. She was waving the underwear around and I recognized them because they had a floral print, but I just let this ridiculous fight go on. My wife came home after about 30 minutes and said they were hers. My wife asked if I didn’t realize they were hers and I accidentally laughed.

My daughter burst into tears and won’t talk to me. Her fiancé said we’re messed up and left the house, but my wife thought it was funny.

Permalink

35. No Son Of Mine

white wooden kitchen cabinetPhoto by Jason Leung on Unsplash

My daughter-in-law and son have three children aged three years, two years, and four months. My son convinced her to be a stay-at-home mom and sell her business by telling her how good of a childhood he had and how happy my marriage was without telling her (which I today found out) that our arrangement was everything before 9 am and after 5 pm was split 50/50, and I got Sundays off entirely as a mom.

On my last visit, I noticed my daughter-in-law was struggling mentally so me, my sister, and her girlfriend pooled our money together and paid for a spa weekend for them while we’d babysit the kids for her birthday last weekend. I was preparing on Thursday evening for the kids to arrive when my daughter-in-law rang me. As soon as I picked up, I knew something was very wrong.

She was holding back tears and said they wouldn’t be going to the spa weekend because my son’s friend came to town and he said he wanted to spend the weekend with his friends catching up instead. I pressed her a little and was talking a little to her about her situation. That’s when she came clean about him doing no chores, having no date nights, and her basically doing all of the child care because “that’s what stay-at-home moms do.”

I was honestly disgusted. I convinced her to drop off the kids to me and bring a friend to the spa. I even dipped into my savings to give her $500 to buy herself something nice. When she dropped off the kids, I begged her to tell me where my son was. After five minutes of me pleading, she told me he was at the bar. She left for the spa while I left for this bar.

She knew I was going there while my sister was taking care of the kids. Here’s where I might be the jerk. I walked in, sat down next to the group, and asked my son: “Did I fail you as a mother or was it your father because we both thought your partner comes before your friends.” My son is angry at me for humiliating him and sticking my nose in his marriage. Maybe I should have stayed out, I don’t know.

Classic-Goose-8228

36. Meddling Mother-In-Law

sun rays of woman's facePhoto by freestocks on Unsplash

I married my husband a year ago. His mom is snoopy and annoying. She can't help it, that is “just how she is,” as my dear in-laws say. My husband and I purchased a new house recently, but my mother-in-law kept pushing to get an emergency key from us. She promised that she would only use it in an “emergency,” but at our last apartment, she kept walking in on us at all hours of the day, sometimes in very compromising positions.

I just couldn't trust her, so I sent her a fake key (after she kept pushing) and she had a smug smile on her face after I hand-delivered it to her. Days go by, and then at Christmas dinner, she angrily called me out about this fake key. She shamed me for doing this in front of everyone, but I knew I had her. Defending myself, I asked how she found out it was fake.

She said she came over a few days ago at 4:00 pm while my husband and I were out. I reminded her, "Didn't you promise you wouldn't use it unless there's an emergency? So you tried to get in when there was no emergency and you broke the promise you made to us?" She looked red in the face. My other family members started staring and some even laughed at her.

She suddenly got up from her seat and rushed into the kitchen where she had a huge meltdown so loud the next-door neighbors must've heard. Literally, I've never heard a 60-year-old woman throw a tantrum like that. Needless to say, dinner went awkwardly after that and my husband and his sister were giving me looks. My husband went off on me in the car and said I lied, manipulated, and humiliated his mom.

He said he wouldn't have let me get away with it had he known. We had an argument and he is demanding I apologize to his mom for my childish behavior and for ruining Christmas dinner for the whole family.

Checkinout2022

37. Used And Excused

laughing people in partyPhoto by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

This happened just a few hours ago. I am a 19-year-old man. On Thursday, a person I had a major crush on in high school (but who rejected me) messaged me out of the blue. She had never contacted me without my contacting her first, and at one point I realized she had had me blocked on social media, so I found it odd that she was suddenly being friendly.

After sending a couple of greetings/questions about how I've been, she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the drinks. The drinking age where we are is 19, and she and the people who were going to chill were all 18. I thought it was silly that my being a month older meant I could buy drinks and they couldn't, so I said I would love to go.

She said, "Thanks, I'll pick you up at seven!" 7 o'clock rolled around and she texted me to say she was in front of my house. I went out dressed and ready to chill with some people, and she drove me to the store. When we got there, I asked what she wanted me to get, and she told me to get Budweiser. I hid my disappointment as well as I could, but it was her party so I went in and bought two cases of 24.

I got back in the car and said, "Let's party.” She went eerily quiet. I noticed that she wasn't driving towards her neighborhood, but rather back towards mine. I thought she had moved or something, but didn't want to press the issue. When she turned down my street I finally figured it out. She was being purposefully vague about the invitation because she wanted me to get the drinks but she wanted a way out when she told me I wasn't actually invited in the first place.

She stopped in front of my house, leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said "Thanks!" in her best voice. I asked when she was going to tell me I wasn't invited. She feigned surprise and said that she never intended to invite me in the first place. I sat in silence for a long awkward minute. Then I did the only thing I could to regain power. I picked up the drinks and walked towards my front door.

She got out of her car and frantically tried to re-invite me to the party, but I told her that what she did was the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. I opened my front door, slammed it a bit too hard, and went back to my room. Now I have text messages from all of her friends and her asking me why I'm being such a jerk.

I don't think I’m a jerk for reacting the way I did, but if you haven't figured it out, I'm not amazing socially…so I'm not sure.

irrationaloffer

38. Equal But Different

fan of 100 U.S. dollar banknotesPhoto by Alexander Mils on Unsplash

I graduated from college four years ago and live at home with my parents. My sister graduated two years ago and also lives with my parents. We both got jobs pretty much straight out of college. I pay my parents $800/month in rent since my first paycheck. I'm really emotionally charged right now. Last night my parents were talking loudly about their financial problems in the living room.

I overheard and I offered to help by paying more in rent (I was thinking $900-1,000) since it covers utilities/phone/internet. My parents were grateful. Now, prior to this, I never asked my how much sister pays in rent. I always figured my parents charged us the same. So absentmindedly I asked a follow-up question. Me: How much is [my sister] paying [for rent]?

My mom: Nothing. (Long pause.) Me: What do you mean she doesn't pay rent? My Dad (visibly angry): Your sister doesn't pay a thing! My dad explained how my sister recently bought a brand new car and hasn't paid insurance on it so my dad had to pay for it. She doesn't pay rent. She doesn't pay utilities/phone/anything. So for the past two years, she's been living rent-free while I've been paying my parents.

So later that night we had a family sit-down talk. My sister didn't want to pay rent, especially at how much I was paying. She offered $100. My parents suggested she pay $300, I pay $800, which my sister and I both rejected. The conversation ended with this: Sister: SCREW YOU. I'M TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE. So my sister storms off to her room and it's now me and my parents in the living room.

I'm extremely upset at this because it's massively unfair. My mom is upset that everyone's angry at each other and my dad's angry my sister won't pay rent and she won't move out, and both my parents don't want the authorities involved. So I say my part before leaving. Me: I'm not going to pay any more rent until she does. (It's only fair right?) And if I do pay rent, I pay whatever she's paying.

My mom: What if she pays $300 and you pay $800— Me: No. My mom: But, we really need the money... Me: That's too bad. I get up and go off to my room. So this morning my dad comes in tells me that I'M A JERK FOR NOT PAYING RENT. That I should pay rent because it's the right thing to do and all this. I'm like, "What the heck? Make my sister pay rent!"

My mom, who's listening in.: “You've seen her! She won't listen to us!" Me: WELL THAT'S TOO BAD. My mom (really angry): WELL WE WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM IF YOU DIDN'T TRY TO MAKE YOUR SISTER PAY RENT. That was the last straw that blew it for me. I slammed the door on my parents. As I'm typing this my parents are in the living room discussing how both their children are rotten.

Permalink

39. Think Before You Speak

man and woman hugging each otherPhoto by Candice Picard on Unsplash

This whole saga started because my husband took my last name. A couple of weeks ago, he got his workplace to change it, and his co-workers found out. About half of them think this is the funniest thing ever and about half are deeply offended. This one woman, Brenda, is in the offended half, and has made that clear. He and I are in a group chat with his co-workers where we organize carpooling.

It is very helpful to us, so we can't leave the chat. Since he changed his name, my husband and I have been dealing with a lot of dumb jokes in the chat, which we have been mostly ignoring. Yesterday Brenda and I got into a bit of a spat. I messaged the group asking if someone could take my husband home since I wouldn't be back from work until late and needed the car.

One of his other co-workers agreed, and I thought that was that. Brenda messages the group saying, "Maybe if you spent less time at work and more time being a wife, your husband wouldn't come into work with dirty shirts." I took this as a bad joke initially. My husband is a rural mail carrier, so his shirts look like shirts worn by someone in 90-degree heat on dusty roads.

I do wash them, but there's only so much to be done. Me: I could make cleaning those shirts my full-time job and it wouldn't do much. Brenda: You won't be married very long if you keep trying to be the man in the relationship. I'd be embarrassed as a wife if I did so little for my husband. Me: Well I work more hours and pay the bills, so I think he can Oxy-Clean his own shirts if it's so important.

Brenda: Maybe you should learn to take proper care of your husband or you'll find yourself divorced. Me: I'll let you know when I need relationship advice from someone who is 42 and single. Now apparently Brenda is going around and saying that I "mocked her for being single in her 40s." I don't care if someone is single in their 40s, but I think it's absolute idiocy that she can call me a bad wife but I can't point out she has no frame of reference.

CourageClassic6141

40. Mother Knows Best

woman in gray crew neck shirt beside baby in gray onesiePhoto by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

I'm 19 years old and I have a three-week-old baby girl. I do still live with my parents, but since I pay rent equally, they say I can have just as much of a say in who comes and goes from the house as they do. I've never actually taken advantage of this rule until recently. I have a brother who's 26 and his wife is 24. They're "crunchy parents" to an eight-month-old.

They use reusable wipes/nappies, think formula is the epitome of evil, the list just goes on. I'm the complete opposite: pacifiers, supplementing with formula due to low supply, disposable wipes, and nappies. They are completely against the products I use and often give me things like my sister-in-law’s breastmilk in bags, disposable nappies their child has grown out of, etc.

I've used some but it's not really my cup of tea. On Monday night, my brother and sister-in-law were minding my baby for me since it was my birthday and my baby’s father (not together, very close friends and co-parents) took me to get some dinner in one of my favorite fast food places. It was great and really relaxing. When I got home that evening, my sister-in-law said that she did some cleaning and "threw out anything I don't need." This immediately gave me red flags.

They were in a hurry to get out the door and left almost immediately. When I went into the nursery, every disposable nappy and wipe pack was gone and replaced with some reusable cloth ones. Same with my formula. There were eight tubs and all of it was gone. I'm not able to replace them at the moment and solely breastfeeding isn't sustainable for us.

I was extremely angry and I just turned my phone off to avoid being mean to my sister-in-law. She and my brother came over yesterday to collect something they forgot and that was when I confronted her. I told her she has to replace everything she dumped. When she said she can't afford to, I said fine, just get out and don't come back until I've been reimbursed or everything is replaced with the original items.

My brother thinks I'm being a massive jerk. Our parents think I’m being completely reasonable here but they think telling her essentially not to come back is taking it too far.

CrunchySiL

41. Strings Attached

man and woman holding hands focus photoPhoto by Jeremy Wong Weddings on Unsplash

I hate wedding culture. My fiancée and I thought we would escape the drama and money by having a small thing. Well, family started trying to throw money at us to make it bigger and more spectacular. We were surprised, but it was a good surprise. Then the demands started coming out. They wanted this, they wanted that, they wanted this person to come, these colors, dresses can't do this, this person has to be flower girl, this person HAS to be a groomsman, etc., etc.

Suddenly it didn't feel like our wedding, but an excuse for our families to have a family reunion. We put our foot down and said: Thank you all for your kindness and generosity when it comes to our wedding. Unfortunately, it looks like we may not have been on the same page as the rest of you. When we were offered money for this wedding, we did not realize it came with strings attached.

With so many requests and so many demands from people we didn't expect would think they had a say in our wedding, we have decided to give everyone their money back. Our understanding of what a gift is must be very different. If you would like to give us money without strings attached or requests or demands, we will gracefully accept it.

But if you believe a gift should come with stipulations, we must regretfully and politely decline. This has caused an epic storm. To the point where I have people saying they will never come to our wedding (honestly, not the worst thing in the world), that we are spoiled, all this. My parents are rather upset about it, but my fiancée’s family (who never made any demands and gave us a small cash gift) said we did the right thing.

We are halfway to canceling the whole party and just absconding into the wilderness to do the wedding the way we want.

weddingofmy

42. Attention-Seeker

man in red shirt watching tvPhoto by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

I’m a nurse and working 50-ish hours a week in pediatric ICU. I cry at least once a week because that stuff is hard. My salary pays our bills. All of them. My husband has a degree but isn't looking for a job. He works two days a week at the grocery store. Spends most of his time playing video games. Today was supposed to be A Good Day.

I had been begging my husband to swap his Saturday shift to literally anything else so that we could have days off together. We haven't had a weekend together since our wedding 18 months ago. Today was supposed to be our first Saturday off together. We were going to go to an animal sanctuary. He starts the day by going to breakfast with his best friend.

He left before I even woke up. I wake up around 9 and realize he is not home. I call. He says he's helping his friend set up some lights and that the weather is too rainy for the animal sanctuary anyway. He gets home at 1ish. Lies around. Plays some video games, promising we would cook dinner together tonight. Leaves again at 5:00 to help the same friend with something else.

I go grocery shopping. I don't drive because of medical issues, but I walk there and back in the rain. I get home, realize I've left my keys inside. Call my husband, knowing he's five minutes away. He says he will leave in a minute. I sit in the rain and the cold. 45 minutes later, I call again. He hasn't left yet. He finally agrees to come and let me in the house, so he drives up, presses the clicker to let me in the garage, and leaves again.

At 10, I called to see where he is. His friend answers. His friend says he is driving out to do something an hour away. It's 10.30. I am going to bed. I have sent him a text that I am upset and don't want to speak to him tonight and would rather he leave me alone. As far as I am concerned, if he can't value me more than his best friend on the first day off he and I have shared in a year and a half, he can go sleep in his friend’s bed instead.

MsPuddleDuck

43. Harsh, But Fair

black haired man making facePhoto by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

My family had a small get-together at my house. One of my wife’s friends, who is about 45 years old, was over. We aren’t too close to her since she lives pretty far away. Anyway, she was over our house and she started complimenting my son, who is 19. It starts off innocent but as time goes on it gets more and more crossing the line. When we were out on my deck she starts telling my son to take his shirt off.

“What’s the point of going to the gym if no one will see it?” My son is visibly uncomfortable and tries to shut her down. She repeatedly is asking and is getting more aggressive with it. I interject and I am like, “Hey Kathy, I think you are a bit too old and ugly for my son." This got her upset really quickly, and she excuses herself to the bathroom and starts crying.

My wife goes to comfort her, and then later she leaves. At the end of it my wife is super angry with me for saying that, that I should have said, “looks like you had too much to drink” or something else. I told my wife, that Kathy works a corporate job and has had training on this and knows better. And our son was uncomfortable. He is 18+ but he doesn't know how to deal with an adult-adult, let alone someone saying that in our house.

I told my wife flat out that if I was to invite a guy friend and he was to ask to see our daughter in a bikini, my wife would have called the authorities. She says its different. I tell her that I was way kinder to Kathy than I would have been if a guy said something like that to our daughter. I told my wife that Kathy needs to apologize to my son before she can ever come into our house again.

throwDad224

44. Performative Dating

man standing against the wall holding his facePhoto by Mitchell Griest on Unsplash

This issue is honestly making me frustrated. Almost everyone is saying I am in the wrong, people are talking behind my back and I genuinely don't know if what I did was correct or not. I just feel so lost. I am 17 and suffered a major accident while cycling when I was 13. I have two really deep, long facial scars. I have been bullied really bad because of it.

I am tall, ugly, and intimidating to most girls. But there is this girl I had known since middle school. Let's call her Becky. I had a really, really big crush on her until a few days ago. I thought she was genuinely sweet and amazing. My family is incredibly supportive so they urged me to ask her out. I can play a guitar so I made this whole song for her. I went to the neighboring city to get her favorite chocolate and stuff like that.

This was the first time I felt like really going and asking someone out in my life, and I felt that regardless of what I do, she will see me for who I am and at least accept me as a friend. I was over the moon when she ended up accepting me. We went to a fancy restaurant, had a fun time together, and walked for 30 minutes. She was really sweet to me.

The next week or so was honestly heaven. People started noticing me, even her friends seemed friendly with me, I honestly cried every day because I felt so fortunate to get so much love. Then it all broke down. A friend of hers sent screenshots to me of her Instagram, and I honestly felt betrayed and disgusted. She had posts saying “Fulfilled his lifelong wish by being his Valentine's." 'Making his day by finally helping him interact with my friends,” “He is ugly but beautiful people accept ugly people,” “#uglypeoplematter,” etc.

Becky's friend then explained to me that she apparently wanted a good social media image and had thus asked all her friends to be kind to me and tolerate me until the first week of March. Then they were supposed to distance themselves from me. She apparently wanted to win some stupid “positive role model” award for her college application because she was lagging behind in community service and thought playing with my feelings for a few days wouldn't hurt.

I was in tears. My blood was boiling. And then I went and made what might have been a huge mistake. I researched about this award and found a Facebook page about it online. I wrote into them and explained the whole situation. She is apparently crying a lot because she received a message from the committee saying her nomination was withdrawn. I am now even more ostracized in school, but honestly I have no remorse whatsoever and feel far more satisfied.

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45. No Call, No Show

person holding incensePhoto by Simon Zhu on Unsplash

I own a vape shop. We're a small business, only 12 employees. One of my employees, Peggy, was supposed to open yesterday. Peggy has recently been promoted to manager after two solid years of good work as a cashier. I really thought she could handle the responsibility. So, I wake up three hours after the place should be open, and I have 22 notifications on the store Facebook page.

Customers have been trying to come shop, but the store is closed. Employees are showing up to work, but they're locked out. I call Peggy, and get no response. I text her, same thing. So I go in and open the store. An hour before her shift was supposed to be over, she calls me back. I ask her if she's ok, and she says she needed to "take a mental health day and do some self-care."

I'm still pretty angry this point, but I'm trying to be understanding as I know how important mental health can be. So I ask her why she didn't call me as soon as she knew she needed the day off. Her response: "I didn't have enough spoons in my drawer for that." Frankly, I don’t know what that means. But it seems to me like she's saying she cannot be trusted to handle the responsibility of opening the store in the AM.

So I told her that she had two choices: Go back to her old position, with her old pay, or I fire her completely. She's calling me all sorts of "-ists" now, and says I'm discriminating against her due to her poor mental health and her gender. None of this would have been a problem if she simply took two minutes to call out. I would have got up and opened the store on time.

But this no-call/no-show stuff is not the way to run a successful business. I think I might be the jerk here, because I am taking away her promotion over something she really had no control over. But at the same time, she really could have called me.

Absolut_Failure

46. She Who Laughs Last

woman in hot tubPhoto by paje victoria on Unsplash

So it was my birthday a couple of months ago, and I had a party. Got some gifts. My friend Mandy got a “super cute bikini” for me. I liked it and said thanks. Later, I went to the community pool with my roommate and wore the bikini. When I got in the water, my roommate immediately is like, “Uhm girl.” I look and see that this bikini is now kind of see-through.

Haha, good joke Mandy. Anyway, Mandy invited me over to her place to hang out with her and her boyfriend and a few others. Most leave later on and we’re still hanging out. That’s when I’m like, “Hey, what if we get in your hot tub?” I go change into the bikini after them and meet her boyfriend in the hot tub while she’s getting new drinks.

I hop in. Immediately, he’s looking at my chest. I pretend I don’t notice and just make small talk. She comes out a few minutes after and just looks in shock. Eventually, she gets in. “Uhh, is that the one I bought?” “Yeah, I love it. I wear it everywhere.” I make up some stuff about how I wore it to the beach, some party with lots of guys, etc. and she’s just like “oh.”

We’re in the tub for 20-30 minutes. Eventually, we get out and change. She approached me after and was like, “Uhm I’m sorry, I thought you’d notice. But it goes kind of see-through.” I’m like, “Yeah I know. Why’d you buy me a see-through bathing suit?” She was like, “It’s a joke. Wait, you knew? So you just spent the last 30 minutes flashing my boyfriend on purpose?” I reply that I’m just wearing my birthday gift from her.

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47. All In The Family

white flowers on white ceramic plate on tablePhoto by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

We had a family dinner this evening. My family has four kids in total: me, my elder sister who is 29, my younger sister who is 24, and my youngest brother who is 22. Extended family attended our family dinner. So all of our significant others, our cousins, aunts, and uncles, etc. During the dinner, my elder sister and youngest brother got into a mild disagreement.

My sister seemed—at least to me—to be coming across as very aggressive out of frustration and losing said argument. The two of them were too absorbed in their argument to realize the rest of us were getting a bit fed up. Eventually, my sister got really fed up and said “Shut up, I’m not going to argue with a 22-year old-virgin.” My brother hadn’t done any personal attacks up until that point, it was completely unprovoked.

I immediately told my sister to grow up and that she was making an embarrassment of herself. She only got worse from there. She replied by saying everyone knows he’s a virgin and she didn’t say anything wrong. This annoyed me as my brother definitely has confidence issues and doesn’t need to be made fun of like this. So I got a bitter revenge.

I responded by saying how she slept with well over a hundred men while she was in college, and that since everyone in the family knows this, it’s not a big deal right? Turns out her husband didn’t know this amazingly, I genuinely assumed he must have known. He left the party angrily saying my sister mislead him about her past. My family is now blaming me for their marital problems.

I refuse to accept I did anything wrong. My sister hurt my brother in front of everyone, all I did was give her a taste of her own medicine.

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48. Have Your Wedding Cake And Eat It Too

gray and beige gazebo near green leafed treePhoto by Jeremy Wong Weddings on Unsplash

One of my best friends, Carla, is getting married soon. It’s only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they’ve been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property. They wanted it because it’s private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff.

Of course, I said yes, she and her fiancé Rick were very happy. Thing is, Carla and I do have a history. We went out on and off in college but decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife, we got married, Carla met Rick and now here they are. My wife knows I went out with Carla back in college and she didn’t care. Carla still went to our wedding and everything.

I never knew if Rick was told or not, it’s not my relationship and therefore not my business to say anything, so I never did. Well, Rick found out recently—and it went BADLY. What I heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him (no idea why) that we used to date. Not only that, but apparently Carla said a couple of years ago she was still in love with me when she was already dating Rick.

I don’t have actual confirmation if that’s exactly what he was told. All Carla’s told me is that Rick was told about our past and he’s angry at her for never saying anything. It became quite a drama and I didn’t hear from her for over a month until now. She told me they’re going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on, but Rick requested that I not attend.

It sucks but I totally get why he wouldn’t be comfortable. But I had one question: Where are they going to hold the wedding, then? To my surprise, she said they still want it at our place. Rick said so to and in my mind I’m going “He doesn’t want the guy who dated his fiancée years ago at the wedding, but still wants the wedding at his house.”

My wife and I are expected to just...not be at our home that weekend, And I told Carla no. They’re going to have to find someplace else since we’re not going to simply leave our home to them for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons but it just doesn’t make sense. Rick doesn’t want me around because he’s not comfortable but is comfortable enough to have their wedding at my house?

They really want their wedding here though and because of that, I’ve been bugged by not only her but also Rick and some friends who think I’m being a petty jerk for not letting them have the wedding here anymore. Honestly don’t think that I am, it just doesn’t make sense at all to have to leave our own place for a wedding we’re no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable.

Still, I’m being accused of sabotaging their wedding and Rick believes it’s the least I can do after “everything.” But like, what did I do?

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49. Gaming The System

woman holding phonePhoto by Daria Nepriakhina 🇺🇦 on Unsplash

My older sister Jane is married to Bob and they have two kids, a boy and a girl. My niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all. They fight as siblings do but nothing big. I love them. Now for about two years, I did live with my sister. It was a miserable time that really affected our relationship. She saw me as free labor, money, and babysitting.

Even when I managed to get a small part-time job, she demanded I hand over nearly half my pay or get out. She took complete advantage of me. I moved out as soon as I could and we have little contact outside of family gatherings. After I moved out, she started complaining how "She has no help with the kids and never gets a break!" I babysit sometimes but I have made it clear, just because I am off work doesn't mean I want an eight-hour day with my niece and nephew.

Anyway, she then started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid. Not a kid but a teenager. I pressed her for more information on this. Her answer blew my mind. She wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live-in babysitter for her kids. This is her logic: "I want a kid around 16 or 17, you know someone who may have been in the system for a while.”

According to her, they can share a room with my nephew (she only has a three-bedroom house) or sleep in the garage. They can help her with housework, chores, cooking, and help her with her business. (She bakes and sells cookies). Also babysit the kids so she and Bob can go out sometimes or have some alone time. They'll be so grateful for a home and won't complain.

She won't have to pay them at all. And then when they turn 18, she can just sign up for another foster kid! A teenager will be so much easier than a little kid, they will be grateful just to have a roof, food, siblings if they have been separated from their real ones, and clothes. I was horrified! Told her it was a horrible idea! She didn't listen to me. She went on with it anyway.

About a month ago, a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister. She had put me down as a character witness or something like that. I knew exactly what to say. I immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when I lived with her. The lady thanked me. My sister called crying saying that she wouldn't be considered for any adoptions or fosters.

The social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren't a good fit. She asked if I said anything and I told the truth. She went off on me, hung up, and we haven't spoken since. She has sent some angry texts. A couple of family members are on her side. They think foster kids are dogs or something and would be so happy just to have a roof and would gladly do all the housework.

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50. You Can’t Choose Your Family

pregnant near doorPhoto by Camylla Battani on Unsplash

I dated a guy, Joe, for three months before he left me to go back to his ex, Kim. Right after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant and now I’m at 24 weeks. I let him know and he was ecstatic. Turns out his girlfriend had fertility issues and would likely never be able to get pregnant naturally and he has always wanted to be a father. Getting back together was out of the question for both of us, so he’s still with his girlfriend.

At the initial appointment, we found out I was having twins. According to Joe, when he told Kim she had a mental breakdown about her infertility and wanted to talk to me. I met them at their house and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children’s stepmother. Then it took an enormous nosedive.

She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to formula feed so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy and one girl, and that she wanted the kid to call her Mama since they would be calling me Mommy. I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body, then left.

Kim continued to be overbearing, texting me every day about my eating habits, exercise habits, and complaining about how her job wouldn’t let her take maternity leave. At the virtual genetics counseling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history…which wasn’t even relevant.

When it came time for my 20-week scan, they allowed me one guest and Joe suggested I take Kim instead of him, which I refused to do. Joe did end up coming and he found out the gender because I wanted to keep it a surprise for me so we could throw a gender reveal party. I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then Kim put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins “the non-traditional way,” and how blessed she was.

I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut. Then came the last straw. Kim threw a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn’t even invited. She also announced that she’s having a baby shower. I commented on her posts and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, that the kids weren’t hers, and that Joe didn’t have any claim or custody of the kids until they are born.

I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seeing either of them until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner. He and Kim and some of her friends and family are saying I’m a jerk, and her mother even called and insisted I give her one of my babies like this is The Parent Trap.

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