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People Share Their Instant Online Dating Profile Turnoffs

People Share Their Instant Online Dating Profile Turnoffs
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Making a real-world connection while dating is one thing, but doing it digitally brings an entirely new set of challenges.


This isn't a piece set to put the kabosh to online dating. If you find someone who you connect with, no matter the circumstances be it either in-person or online, then great! You're already better off than most people who are hitting the dating scene. However, there are some differences when you're trying to size up someone online to see if they're compatible or not.

Reddit user, u/SXC365, wanted to hear how you filter through the scrubs when they asked:

You're online dating and read someone's bio, what's an immediate turnoff?

Crimsons Flags On Their Profile Header

The easiest red flag to spot across enemy lines is the one they fly at their highest point: the header of their dating profile. Sometimes, it's innocuous, hidden among some cute descriptors about what their obvious careers or hobbies are. But it's there, waiting to be ignored.

What Are You Trying To Hide?

Having literally no personal information about themselves besides their name, age, and a half dozen emojis. Please, ma'am/sir I would like to know who you are besides what your body looks like.

Neateducks

Profile: Denied!

Likes: laughing, smiling, living <——— wtf yeah most people like the opposite..?

OR

Likes: ask me 😏 Dislikes: ask me😏 Work: ask me😏

kouignie

Advertising Something Else

'Follow me on instagram! /ic3cr3amnut69'

manlikerealities

Alternatively, if their only written info is their Snapchat handle.

I know what you're about.

DiamondBurInTheRough

What's Underneath The Hood?

On the other hand, maybe it isn't so obvious at first glance. These types take a little more digging through their About section to truly understand what they're about.

And it's not good. Not good at all.

Setting Your (Dumb) Standards

When they have requirements like height, weight, and so on.

Clear-Comfortable-54

This is what I came here to say. Having preferences in terms of physical features and personality are one thing. We like what we like, and we dont like what we dont like. That's fair and fine, but to have a bulleted list of requirements in order to even speak to someone is crass and shallow.

BrilliantWeight

"I'm A Bad Boy 4-Lyfe!" - This Person, Probably

When they're flipping off the camera. WHY? Why are you flipping me off?

vc6vWHzrHvb2PY2LyP6b

FINALLY, someone says it! I can't get behind this, never could.

EnVyErix

So many people go hiking or enjoy long walks. Why can't I just find someone who wants to spend their Sundays never getting dressed properly and watching TV all day?

TomasNavarro

Don't worry, as someone that is an enthusiastic, serious hiker, I've found that 80% of OLD profiles that claim to like hiking and long walks mean they like 3-5 mile walks occasionally.

For me that's disappointing, but you might be able to work with it.

somethatwander

Terrible Slogans To Keep An Eye Out For

Fortunately, the most obvious people to avoid online are those who have some sort of motto or lifestyle creedo, blazoned across their header right under their name. It won't be inspiration, motivational, or reasonable, but they'll think it is. Which is all the more reason for you to swipe left and get out before it's too late.

Take Your Time Back

"Don't waste my time"

sjbigs

This one, I just immediately swipe No, like theres your precious time bro

BlueberryB-tch91

Wearing Their Awful Flag Proudly

Any time someone describes themselves as an "a--hole"

I think it's meant to be cute and cheeky but why would I wanna spend time with someone who freely admits they're a jerk?

sleepyhollow_101

Point Is, It's A Bad Quote

"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"

ordinarybloke1963

I remember a stand-up having a great response to this quote.

"This statement was made by Marylin Monroe, who killed herself. That, or she was murdered by the government. All we know is that at least one person really couldn't handle her at her worst."

TogarSucks

Except there's no proof she ever said it.

Tkieron

Have your standards, have your prerequisites, and know what you want in a potential partner. Above all, never feel bad for declining someone because they feel the need to let you know their a d-ck.

Keep your dignity.

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The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient

Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'

surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

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shallow focus of a woman's sad eyes
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

office full of desks and workers

Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.

Eventually they were found.

On the floor.

Under their desk.

Sleeping.

They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.

While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.

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Generally speaking, we watch movies to escape our current realities and be transported to other worlds.

As a result, we don't always walk into movie theaters hoping for a truly authentic or genuine experience.

After all, how many people in real life actually met the love of their life at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day, after hearing them on the radio?

When it comes to historical fiction and dramas, however, some might say the facts and historical accuracy are a bit more important.

Indeed, part of the ongoing grudge over Shakespeare In Love's surprise Oscar victory over Saving Private Ryan was the latter was applauded for its accuracy, while the victor was anything but.

However, what probably helped in Shakespeare In Love's upset despite its many historical inaccuracies was that when push came to shove, it was a very good movie.

Redditor Agreeable-Beach-3009 was curious to hear what other films people thought were so good, that their anachronisms and inaccuracies should be overlooked, leading them to ask:

"What's a historically inaccurate movie that gets a pass because of how good it is?"

You Mean, Rasputin WASN'T A Demonic Sorcerer?

"'Anastasia'."

"Can you imagine getting murdered, then a movie gets made implying the woman who claimed your identity was the real deal and had to fight a freaky wizard's curse, and there were two knockoff movies made in the same year?"

"Songs were boppin tho."- vworpstageleft

"CRETACEOUS Park" Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It...

"Most of the dinosaurs you see in 'Jurassic Park' are actually from the Cretaceous Period."- 3loodwolf117

First Hand Accounts Were Probably A Bit Hard To Come By...

"Gladiator."- chewie8291

"Almost nothing about the movie 'Gladiator' is historically accurate, but it doesn't matter."

"S tier historical drama."- Pixelated_Penguin808

Russell Crowe Gladiator GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Those Costumes Though!

"Amadeus."- Sgtp3ppers

"I feel like 'Amadeus' gets a pass because it's an adaptation of a stage play and as an adaptation, it's not trying to be historically accurate but to instead tell a great story, which it does phenomenally."- LadicusRex

Making His Lies Even More Far Fetched...

"Catch Me If You Can."- Bender_Wiggin

"While it all being bullsh*t does take some of the magic out of it, it’s still an entertaining story."

"And the soundtrack absolutely slaps."- rnilbog

It's Safe To Assume The Spanish Inquisition Had A Lot Less Singing And Dancing...

"History of the world part I."- whopper68

"Rome didn't have bullsh*t artists collecting unemployment?"

"Did Mel Brooks lie to me?"- CrunchyDonut42

Giphy

Good Delivery Can Disguise Almost Anything...

"Tombstone."

"But I really do love it."- Iwouldntifiwereme

"Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"

"The Life of Brian."- Visible_Claim_388

"'He’s not the messiah he’s just a naughty boy'."- dcrico20

For One Thing, Dogs Can't Talk...

"Balto?"- rmr236

"I love how the premise is that the little girl is telling the story as an old woman, but she was unconscious the whole time."

"She’s definitely pulling that shi* out of her a**."- TheFufe10

sad shame GIFGiphy

There Is, Indeed, A Sucker Born Every Minute. Including Many Who Thought This Movie Told The Truth...

"'The Greatest Showman' makes PT Barnum look like a better person than he was in real life."- viridianvenus

He Was A Man Of Many Talents... This Wasn't One Of Them...

"Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."- nogoat23

"That movie crosses the absurd into awesome, and I love it."- FactoryOfBradness

Stretching It...

"A Knights Tale."- SoCalRc

"I always wondered how Queen never admitted to stealing such a banger from hundreds of years ago."- londoner4life

heath ledger love GIFGiphy

Some Of The Irish Accents Were Less Than Authentic As Well...

"'Gangs of New York'."

"Historically accurate setting, costumes and some characters/gangs, but the plot and the events supporting it are largely fictional."

"Damn good movie though."- Lieutenant_Skittles

Tom Cruise Swinging A Sword Is More Than Enough For Some People...

"The Last Samurai."- The Last Samurai

"I was surprised at how good this movie was when I saw it this year for the first time."

"The costumes, action, and acting were all quite good."- OutlawQuill

More Memorable Than The Truth?

"The 1970 production 'Tora, Tora, Tora' pulled off one of the great cons of modern cinematography."

"It convinced an entire generation of Americans that after the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese Admiral Yamamoto had said 'I fear that all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve'."

"There is no evidence that the quote was ever spoken by Yamamoto."

"But it was so perfect and convincing that subsequent Hollywood movies released in 2001 (Pearl Harbor) and 2019 (Midway) unquestioningly passed it off as legitimate."- InstrumentRated

Movies are, first and foremost, a source of entertainment.

As a result, most viewers pay no mind at all to all the complaints historians and scholars may have about them.

If you're looking for speedy answers for a history test or essay, it's best to stick to the textbooks and not rely on Spielberg or Scorcese.