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People Share Their Best 'You Picked A Fight With The Wrong Person' Stories

People Share Their Best 'You Picked A Fight With The Wrong Person' Stories
Photo by Chris Sabor on Unsplash

People can be like those Kinder Eggs they used to ban in the United States (for some unknown reason). On the outside, you're getting something you think you know. A person might be small, appear timid, or made out of chocolate. It's the inside, however, you need to be wary of. Sometimes a person might be more talented or dangerous than you realize, and the other times they'll probably just embarrass someone who deserves it with those hidden talents.

These are those stories!


Quora posed a question to its users:

What is the best case of "You just picked a fight with the wrong person" that you've witnessed

Samoan Superman

"I was a very young man eating pizza in a small restaurant in the Marina District in San Francisco. It was 1987 the summer time, late at night, and most in the crowd were pretty drunk. Two yuppies with their navy blue shirts and red power ties walk into the restaurant and cut in front of a Samoan and his girlfriend. When the Samoan said something, instead of just saying "I'm sorry," one of them made a smart remark."

"Then I stopped eating my pizza. I knew something bad was going to happen. I have always had good experiences with Samoans. They always treated me with more respect than most people do. But I never met a Samoan who would back down or suffer BS. I had a Samoan friend of mine literally pick me up and throw me into a bar fight, because I told him took martial arts classes, and he wanted to see if they were working."

"The yuppie smart mouthed the Samoan patron some more and threatened to call the police if he did anything. Faster than I could stuff another pizza slice into my mouth the Samoan gentleman did something I did not think was physically possible. He picked the yuppie vertically off his feet then turned him horizontally superman style. He held the yuppie's face over a pizza pie then literally dropped him straight down face first into the pizza."

"The amount of strength it took to literally turn the Yuppie's body side ways seemed amazing. The Samoan turned to me staring at him and said "You one of them?" Shook my head no and went back to eating my pizza. He left with his lady friend."

"The police shortly arrived. No one saw anything. The yuppie's smart suit and tie and big paycheck did not shield him from his big mouth. Be careful what you say, smile and always be respectful."

James Dal Bon

Never Cross A Man That Can Double Check All The Forms

"Once upon a time, my parents hired a company to redo their kitchen. They were basically supposed to change the marble countertops."

"The company was formed by husband, wife and three employees."

"They set up the countertops and soon realized a minor part of the marble did not fit exactly. They had to take the small bit that didn't fit back to their headquarters to redo the work."

"At that point, my parents had already paid 90% of the price."

"One week later they came back without prior notice and gained access to their apartment through the maid, who opened the door to let them finish the job."

"My parents were out on an errand."

"After the contractors finished their job, the owner called my father on his mobile and told him the job was completed."

"Since there had been problems with the execution before, my father told the man that he would come back home in about an hour, check the quality of the final touches and promptly pay the remaining 10% of the price."

"The man went ape and told my father that payment was due on the spot."

"My parents interrupted what they were doing and hurried back home."

"But at this point the contractor was already mad at them and took out every single bit of marble he had put in place and put it all in his van. Never mind the fact that, as I said, 90% was already paid for."

"Upon arriving home, my father noticed that all the stuff he paid for was in the van and being taken away."

"He is a man of action, and promptly put himself in front of the van to impede its exit."

"The contractor did not back down and just ran over my father, who was 65 at the time."

"His bruises were not grave, but he filed criminal suit against the man."

"The problem is that he hired a company, so he didn't know the contractor's name. And to file suit against someone, you must indicate his name, of course."

"The police weren't very eager to determine the identity of the perpetrator. And that's when my parents called me."

"I dived into the matter and found out not only his name and address, but several lawsuits against this guy and his wife. They took several loans and had not repaid them, they sold real estate and did not deliver, they crossed many people in business deals. In short, they owed a lot of people and banks in consequence of morally doubtful behaviour."

"And they had empty apartments in Copacabana, a very prized area of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil."

"I gave the Police the name of the guy and, on the side, purchased some of the credits against them owned by financial institutions."

"I represented my parents in the criminal lawsuit against these people and got them sentenced to jail (the husband) and reparation (the wife)."

"But I also pursued the exaction of the debts I bought and, six years later, I got one of their apartments as repayment of one of the debts."

"Now I am still waiting for judicial decision on the second apartment. It seems I will also take this one."

"The best part is that I paid only 25 thousand reais to buy the credit and the apartments are worth, together, a little under 1 million reais."

"This guy should not have run over my dear father… I bet this is one decision he regrets every day."

Victor Wolszczak

You Never Know Who Might've Won A Boxing Competition Before

"Actually didn't witness the fight, but the results were quite interesting."

"Was just thinking about this call yesterday, while driving by a skateboard park. It was near the end of my career, but a rather unique call. Not really sure why we even responded as it was a pretty simple medical call. Perhaps the ambulances were all delayed? We got called to a skate board park for an injury, expecting a broken bone or scrapes and bruises we found instead a big kid over 6 feet with a broken nose. The RCMP officer on scene was having a good chuckle when he introduced the patient, saying this guy likes to start fights with girls."

"There were about half a dozen other people hanging around both friends of the guy and this young girl on scene. As my guys were treating the patient I was getting some information on what happened. The girl was visiting from California with some friends here in British Columbia and they went down to the local skate board park for some fun and exercise. The girl was around 5 ft. 5 in. as best I recall and not very big, but a rather attractive young lady in her late teens."

"Seems that this guy is a bit of a bully and takes a liking to this cute gal visiting her local friends. The girl is however not impressed by his rather crude advances. They have a bit of a discussion and the guy winds up grabbing her and saying something along the lines of, "Why don't you suck my --?" as he goes to lay his hands on her. The next thing he knows he is on the ground with a broken nose."

"So in the conversation with the girl and her friends it comes out that she is here to participate in a boxing competition tomorrow. Well it seems she certainly has the skills for it, I wished her luck."

Dan Cook

Reddit Users Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience

Never Cross The Nana...

"...What you have to understand about my "Nana" is she strived to weigh more than a 100 pounds all her life, only weighed 102 pounds when she was pregnant with my mom, but she was relatively tall for a lady, so she looked like a rail! People mistook her size, later her age, as weakness, what they didn't realize is- she had grown up on a 98 acre working farm, had worked alongside share-croppers on the next farm over (she swore her Daddy worked the family harder), had 9 brothers and sisters, and could out eat me any day of the week, she was not a wilting flower!"

"When I was in school my "Nana" was always the first car in the pick-up line, she never wanted to be late to anything! I was in junior high, probably the middle of 8th grade, I always had my book bag ready and rushed out the door when the bell rang, because I knew she was waiting. One afternoon, I got to her car and realized that I had left a book in the school, so I turned around and ran back in. When I came out the side door of the school, I was met by the assistant principal."

"He was a big, burly, gruff man and he grabbed my arm (fatal error), so he could fuss at me. I immediately thought, "oh, crap, you've screwed up!" About the time I finished my thought, I heard her car door slam, I tried to hurry him up, because I knew this was about to get ugly! Then, I see a little bony finger with pink fingernail polish come over his shoulder, tap, tap, tap, and these weren't the kind of taps you use at church, I'm pretty sure she was going for blood!"

"He spun around there stood my "Nana" standing with her arms folded, foot tapping, and a look that would give Satan chills. In a fury and missing the obvious clues that were in front of him, he started telling her about my "misdeed" of going back in the building and complaining about her being the first person there and how I should hurry up since she was blocking the pick up lane. At this point, she put her finger up in his face and said, "shut up, little man!" He straightened up like he was going to correct her, he didn't realize that she was just giving him time to pray, "YOU put your hands on my grandbaby, her momma, her daddy, her poppy, and me don't put our hands on her and YOU SURE AS HELL AIN'T… AND another thing, I'll park where ever and for however long I want to in this school parking lot and she can go in and out of this building as many times as she wants to, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?????"

"This very large man was now trembling and repeating "yes, ma'am, I do," in a near catatonic state. She looked at me and nodded towards the car, needless to say I ran and got in because this was not the first, nor the last time I'd seen "Nana" in action. She got in the car, still mumbling under her breath, "just who the hell does he think he is???"

"My "Nana" was active right up until the end of her 90 years on this earth..."

Autumn Cole

"Have yee got a problem with me food, pal?"

"I was serving in the Reserves (Territorial Army as it was back then), and was getting some breakfast in the mess at Grantham. Some Americans were on the base, and a trio of them were eating, poking around at some black pudding (blood pudding). They weren't quite sure what it was, so I explained."

"They blew their top. "It's pig what? That's terrible!" they exclaimed, and one of them stormed off to the counter. "I wanna speak to the chef" he spouted. The server replied, "are you sure?". Clearly, he didn't relish the thought of disturbing the chef. "Of course I'm goddamed sure, the chef is trying to poison us with his barbarian food" the American spat. The server disappeared into the kitchen, and the American sat down."

"Shortly afterwards, the Chef came storming out of the kitchen."

"He was 6 foot 5, built like a brick sh*thouse, and bore a Scots Guards tattoo on his forearm. He spied the Yanks."

"Striding over to the table, he growled in the thickest and most menacing Glaswegian accent, "have yee got a problem with me food, pal?" The American all decided to look at their boots."

"He put his face inches from the nearest soldier. "I said, have YEE got a problem with me FOOD, pal?". The table all shook their heads and muttered about the weather. The chef turned about, and headed back to the kitchen. The 3 Americans all lost their appetites and left the mess."

"Breakfast with a slice of humble pie."

Thomas Anderson

...Batman?

"My friend whom everyone calls Doc, has 2 Ph.D's and is a very low key person, entered a convenient store wth me one afternoon. Doc is 57 years old and average build. He later told me he saw these 2 early 20's jitterbugs casing him in the store. As we left, we each went to our own vehicle. He said he saw them following him to his truck. As he went to get in, one pulled a gun from his pocket and said I'll take your money. Doc's back was to the guy at this time."

"He immediately spun around, side kicked the guy and sent him over the curb whereupon he hit his head and was out. We later found out the guy got 3 broken ribs as well."

"I saw what happened and asked him, where did you learn that ? He said I'll tell you later. Having to know I followed him home whereupon he showed me he held 4 black belts in 4 different styles of martial arts. That wasn't the best of it as he was always careful for no one to see him shirtless. I always wondered why until this moment."

"He pulled back his shirt, he was a Yakuza. These guys definitely picked the wrong guy on this day. The other guy, well he ran off. Funny thing was I heard several people harass the kid that he let an older man kick his a--. Doc told the observers not to call the cops. He said I'm sure the kid is embarrassed enough."

George Sachs

Never Bother A Kid Reading

"I've been teaching anger management classes for a decade. Many people in the classes are there because they've done something legally notable but have never offended before and show little to no likelihood of offending again. From these classes I have so many stories to share, but one in particular stands out."

"A 16-year-old tall slender boy showed up one day for class. He was polite, quiet, committed to paying attention and did a great job earning his certificate. He didn't really want to share his story during introductions. He generally shared that he got in a fight at school."

"Later in the day after a lot of vulnerability was demonstrated by many of the participants, the boy raised his hand and asked if he could talk. Of course, I gave him the floor."

"He explained he had been bullied at school for as long as he could remember. He was beaten up often by the same groups and this lasted for years throughout elementary school and high school."

"I'm assuming he had changed a lot as he grew because the boy in my class seemed gentle but not necessarily an "easy target." Kids can be cruel, of course, but it's often the case that bullies choose targets that wouldn't stand a chance at defending themselves. In my mind, this boy was once an easy target, but no more! Even though he grew up, sprouted tall, somehow he kept the target image even though he was developing into a strapping young man."

"One day in the cafeteria he was reading a book and a neighbouring table of boys started picking on him. He ignored them until it was no longer possible. Then he got up to walk away. They pursued him and were throwing pennies and trash at him. They called him worthless, and garbage, and other demeaning things."

"At one point one of the bullies said something that the boy couldn't ignore. At this point the boy stopped walking away and turned to face the group of bullies. He walked towards them and asked who had said the one specific comment. Proudly and immediately one of the bullies claimed responsibility. Without another word, the boy punched the bully in the face. It was one shot but it shattered the bully's jaw and knocked him out. The boy was suspended and mandated to take anger management classes."

"To my knowledge he had never been violent before or since. In that moment, however, it was as if he was standing up against all the years of abuse and all the bullies."

"It wasn't a "fight" per se, but I would definitely say that the bully "picked on" the wrong person at the wrong time. This one bully certainly wasn't every bully in the boy's past, but he most certainly received the boy's wrath as if he was."

"I can't say what the boy did was right. But I understand what drove him to react the way he did. Insofar as he was defending himself, I'm glad he was done being a victim. Often the trouble with being passive in the face of threats is that you'll explode at some point. And he did..."

Juliana Trichilo Cina

Never Think You're Too Big For Your Britches

"...I worked at GT for awhile. We had this Chinese fellow there who was a graduate assistant. This guy was the most stereotypical "Chinese graduate student" you've ever seen. Google "Chinese graduate student" and I'm pretty sure his picture would come up. I'll call him Li"

"Except"

"This guy could fight."

"Really, really fight."

"The school had their athletic complex, and there was a guy that taught kung fu."

"I'm pretty sure you have seen the type. Arrogant, has to be the center of attention, couldn't stand anyone calling him on anything."

"Well I see Li walk past and he's going to attend the class. Since the weight machines I want to use are over there, I follow. I'm on the leg press and the guy starts his class."

"Five minutes in an Li points out something that the instructor says is wrong."

"Instructor asks:"

"How would you do it?""

"Li gets up and demonstrates. The guy doesn't like getting showed up."

"Well in a fight that would never work."

"Li points out again, he's wrong."

"The instructor gets mad and tells Li to put up or shut up."

"At this point, I want to reflect that maybe, just maybe, when the Chinese student who muddles his way through English who's already shown you up once already says something, challenging him is a bad idea, but I digress..."

"Li gets up and takes off his sweatshirt. I've always seen him in long sleeved dress shirts. This guy is cut. He's solid muscle."

"They start sparring. It's at this point I realize that Li has this guy licked. Not just licked, but Li isn't even trying. The "instructor" is throwing everything he has at him. Nothing is connecting."

"Finally the instructor says "come on and hit me if you can" because at this point, Li's just been dodging and blocking."

"There's a slap as Li catches the guy's right ear."

"Now the instructor is mad. He goes at him again."

"Another two slaps, and the instructor is holding both his ears."

"Li isn't even sweating."

"Holy crap."

"Li "plays" with him for about another minute. Somehow the "instructor" gets close enough to try to lift him off the ground."

"This is a mistake."

"He drives an elbow down hard into this guy's back. There's a yell. Li explodes on this guy. The whole time I'm thinking about Jet Li or Anyone I've seen in Chinese action movies."

"Guy is knocked off the mats. He's hurt. Li isn't even sweating. After that. He just turns, grabs his top and walked off."

"He stuck around school for another year, got his PhD and went back to China. I really wish I could find him today."

Ryan Fernandez

These were some surprising stories.

Do you have a similar experience you'd like to share? Let us know in the comments.

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.