People Share The Most Embarrassing Thing To Ever Happen To Them Going Through Airport Security
Yes. Those are my condoms!
So flying can be a handful and a half. We can't travel with anything but our knickers anymore, well that is what it feels like. Sometimes we forget what we've packed, especially if we've packed in a hurry. It feels like the simplest of necessities is now a HUGE no-no. So once and awhile we're flagged with a thing or two that could raise a few eyebrows. (For no good reason!)
On Quora some people wanted to discuss this by asking....
What's the most embarrassing thing you've experienced while going through airport security?
Check EVERYTHING!
GiphyI was a 14 year old girl on a trip to New York City with our school band. The trip was a lot of fun, but I was exhausted and stressed beyond belief at the end of it (not to mention on my period, which screwed everything up emotionally). It doesn't help that I'm terrified of planes. So when TSA stopped me to check my shoes, I was a little too distracted to remember to empty my water bottle. They dumped it out and had me go though security again. This time, it was a can of Pringles in my sweatshirt pocket. They had me open my bag and take EVERYTHING out (despite no detectors going off), meaning I was showing all my packed underclothes and period supplies to strangers and classmates behind me in line.
That was bad enough until they apparently decided it was a good idea for me to go into the full blown machine that checks for EVERYTHING. I was super stressed at this point (exhaustion and an anxiety disorder really does a doozy), and just started sobbing in front of everyone, which, as a freshman girl in high school, is absolutely horrible. I was so upset with myself for crying that I started crying harder and one of the THREE TSA agents who were watching me suspiciously just kind of realized my plight and was trying to be more sympathetic, which I certainly appreciated, but not enough to stop crying. She's just trying to remain calm and gentle and reassure me that it's just a precaution and everything will be fine.
So I walk into the machine (I'm a freshman on a band trip, what did they expect to find), and, as per expected, they find nothing. I have to refold and repack everything, sobbing the whole while, while being watched by all of the classmates who were behind me as well as a bunch of strangers. So yeah, that'd probably be my most embarrassing TSA story. Isabella M
Rubbed.
Well this just happened to me on June 1. I am about 5′ 10″, broad-shouldered, long brown hair, and olive complexion. I am about 230 lbs with a small beer belly. I look like a out of shape line backer. This is important to the story. So I am flying from Charlotte to Boston. I also get stopped by the TSA. Either going or coming. I was not stopped at Boston so I was going to be stopped at Charlotte. Well I am at the check point. My shoes and belt are in the conveyor.
I am at the big spinning scanning device. I step in put my hands up. The machine whirls, I then am told to step out. I am at that spot where we put your feet down in the painted areas. Just in case you cannot figure this out. The TSA man says to me hold on for a second. He then says I need to see what is under there. He is pointing at my midriff. I say to him "So you want me to drop my pants? Could you at least buy me dinner first?" I was trying to be funny. He did not get the joke. He states "No, under your shirt." My stomach - I lift my shirt to show him my hairy belly lol. He still looks at me.
He then pokes it and rubs it to make sure it was real. So I was a little annoyed as this lovely lady was looking at me. So when I am nervous I tend to use humor. So when this large man is rubbing my stomach to see if it is real I start to purr like a cat. He turned red and the lovely lady started laughing. George S
"YOU. GET BACK IN THAT LINE."
It wasn't security and it wasn't embarrassing but definitely annoying.
I was traveling to Corpus Christi to inspect a ship. With me was the new master of the ship. I had a regular US B1/B2 visa and my companion had a C1/D seaman's visa. We landed at Houston and were waiting in the immigration queue when I saw a sign saying seamen. I told the master you stand in that line. He ducked out of the line and headed for the seamen's queue when a TSA woman yelled at him. "YOU. GET BACK IN THAT LINE." He tried explaining that he was a Seaman but she continued yelling. "I DON'T CARE. DO WHAT I TELL YOU."
So he returned. When in due course we reached the head of the line, I went to one desk and he to another. The immigration officer looked at his passport and told him to go to the seamen's line. Net result was that it took another 30 minutes for him to clear immigration. All thanks to an officious know nothing jobsworth.
On the same trip when we were passing through immigration at Heathrow (required because our connecting flight to Houston was from Gatwick) he was asked why he didn't have a UK visa. I explained to the immigration officer that any seaman holding a Seaman's Book in transit or entering to join a ship did not need a visa.
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
"Ok. Please wait. I'll check with my supervisor."
He was back in five minutes. "Sorry for making you wait and thanks. I learnt something new today."
What a contrast in behavior of officialdom. Arun V
Random Search.
I was in a very abusive relationship for 5 years.
I was always covered in bruises, hiding myself, and just so insecure. There was a spell of bad depression I had after being beaten down for so long. I stayed in bed for 8 months straight. Didn't shower much at all and on top of that I had dreadlocks underneath my regular hair.
Because of my lack of hygiene and refusal to leave the bed, the entire back of my hair formed into one matted rats nest clump. I mean it HURT. Bad. I didn't care at the time because I never left home. There were tons of white fuzzy's in my hair from the blankets that I couldn't brush out- it was horrible.
One day my fiancé's father passed away on Thanksgiving morning. We immediately had to fly to Connecticut from Atlanta. As I realize what's happening my anxiety set in. I looked at myself in the mirror and started crying. I was terrified to go outside. Obviously I was dragged out.
During the security check at the airport a TSA agent pulled me aside. They proceeded to "randomly search" me which was fine, but then the male agent touched the back of my hair. "Holy crap" he said. "Hey, *insert female agents name here* come take a look at this." He pulled out a tongue depressor and some gloves and proceeded to dig through my hair because he was convinced I was hiding something in there. He muttered under his breath "how does this happen…"
This drew so much attention to me that I started crying hysterically asking them to please stop. They did and but never apologized. The next morning I shaved my head completely.
Three months later I left my fiancé.
Now my hair is very long, happy and healthy & so am I. Jay R
8 Inches.
GiphyI was traveling with my 15 year old daughter and she had an 8" long knife in her backpack. She didn't know she had it. Nor did I. But the security guard at the scanning machine quickly knew.
Here's how it went down. The security person kept on looking at the image and examining the backpack. She finally demanded we tell her where the knife was hidden. I quickly explained to her that there wasn't any knife. I asked my daughter and she also confirmed no knife existed.
Finally, the security person showed me the image. Sure as shit there was an 8" long knife. I turned to my daughter just as she was finally remembering. She had brought bagels and cream cheese to her class earlier that day. The knife was a regular kitchen table knife she had brought to school to spread the cream cheese. She had tossed the knife into her backpack and completely forgotten about it.
Somehow the knife had worked it's way into the seam of the backpack and could only be seen with the imaging.
We told the security woman our story. She looked at us sternly. She finally was able to dig out the knife and let us go on.
Needless to say I was rather embarrassed. My daughter was just mortified at how lame brained she had been. Thank god I hadn't tried to bust the security guard's chops for having made such a ridiculous accusation that we had a knife. Hill R
When leaving Halifax.
I was leaving Halifax, Nova Scotia after a three-day business trip. I was with a colleague so we arrived at the airport with plenty of time. I stopped at one of the gift shops and bought a bag of salt water taffy for my daughter. I stuffed it the top of my brand new, work-issued laptop bag.
When I went through security, the officer took a long time to scan my laptop bag. He moved the belt back and forth, back and forth before calling over a colleague. The pair of them watched the screen, back and forth at least five times.
Finally I asked if there was a problem. The officer asked me what was in the bag. As I said, I had just received my new work-issued laptop before leaving on this trip so I tried to remember ever thing in the bag — laptop (of course), power supply, mouse, maybe some pens and a notebook. And then I remember! "Salt water taffy!", I yell thinking this is what is causing the hold up. And, being a natural born smart ass, I told the two officers if they wanted some, all they had to do was ask. Ha ha.
Except I was wrong. They weren't worried about the taffy. Now they've called over the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police for you non-Canucks) and there are at least 8 officials looking at the screen — back and forth, back and forth.
By now I'm sure my flight has left. It's at least 10 minutes past departure time. I'd long ago flagged my colleague onward so she's on the plane. And that's how I later find out that she saw them pulling my luggage off the plane, while delaying the flight.
They finally all agreed that I wasn't up to anything nefarious and told me that my laptop bag and I could board.
I didn't understand what concerned them so much until month later.
Laptops were fairly new at the time so not many people had seen the cable used to lock them and I'm sure the numbers on the lock had them scratching their heads. Of course it was the one thing I forgot to tell them was in the bag!
Good times. My colleague teased me about it every time we travelled after that! Susan C
I have never returned to Bolivia.
Back in the 80's, I was flying out of the La Paz airport in Bolivia. Now, La Paz is very close to the Peruvian border and is (was?) a known point for smuggling. This was back in the 80's and the Bolivian police were all on edge. That day I had come down with a low grade fever and my buddy took me to a pharmacia (corner drug store) and asked for some Tylenol or something for my fever and headache. The pharmacist actually sold me the pills individually, folded into a small glassine envelope. You can probably see where this is heading…
So my buddy and I are in the airport waiting for our flight. I am sweating and glassy-eyed with the fever but I notice the security guys watching me. Just before our flight is called, my buddy heads off to make a quick pit stop. That's when the policia come over and take me into custody. We head to the Back Room. I have no idea what they want and at the time I spoke virtually no Spanish. They start searching my bag, taking everything out, and they find the glassine envelope, still with a bit of powdery residue from the pills. Uh-oh.
As they became agitated, I immediately understood the situation - they thought I was high and was smuggling dope. Not speaking the language, I had visions of being dragged off to a dank South American prison. In desperation, I grabbed the hand of the nearest guard and pressed it to my fevered forehead as the word "Enfermo!" (sick) somehow emerged from the recesses of memory of my middle school Spanish class.
Meanwhile, my buddy had finished his business and was wildly searching for me as the loudspeaker announced final boarding for our flight. He burst into the Back Room and explained in rapid fire Spanish why I was glassy eyed and why I had the glassine envelope. He was convincing enough that they released me (even though we both very much did fit the stereotypical image of druggy American hippies). I grabbed up all my stuff and somehow managed to get it all stuffed into my bag as we sprinted across the tarmac to the plane.
I have never returned to Bolivia. Nick T
It's Only Peanut Butter....
Not so much embarrassing but funny My friend Holly and I went to Sanibel Island last weekend for a short getaway. We went to a small grocery to get snacks and some bagels for breakfast. The day we left we were sorting out the leftovers for our carry ons and she took the bagels and a jar of peanut butter that we had bought for the bagels. I don't think we opened it, I didn't use any.
We get to the airport to go home and her bag is pulled aside. They swab her hands and we stand there while the TSA agent reaches in and pulls out our jar of Jif. I didn't even know it was not allowed, but the funny part is when she asked us, "If you would like, you may step out of security to eat this, then re-enter when you are ready." EAT a whole jar of peanut butter? Even with two of us, how in the world? Imagine how you'd feel after shotgunning half a jar of peanut butter, green around the gills, that's how.
We declined, but I thought it would be a funny sight to see two forty something women scooping peanut butter out of a jar with their bare hands and eating it just to keep it from being tossed. Melissa O
Christmastime in Florida!
GiphyI was returning home from my vacation in Florida after Christmas. Everything was going fine until will got to the security checkout and I was stopped by the TSA officers. I had no clue what was happening. I was terrified and my brother who was waiting for me on the other side was utterly confused. My brother and I asked what was happening, and we were told that I was getting a pat down. My brother asked why, but they did not respond and they told him to wait.
They said that they found a suspicious item near my private parts. For the record, it was a pad. On the screen where your body was scanned, it was the obvious shape of a pad. Even one of the officers asked me if it was! I was so embarrassed. I was holding up the whole line and a male TSA officer proceeded to try to do a pat down on my private parts. I immediately said "No!" and I requested that a female officer do it because I did not want a male to be touching my privates. The man scoffed and called over the female officer to pat me down. First, she rubbed my upper thighs and then rubbed in between my legs. This was absolutely humiliating and one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. It only gets worse though.
She proceeded to stick her whole hand in my underwear on both sides. She then literally grabbed my butt. I told her to please stop as that was very uncomfortable, but she said it was "just protocol." I was then tested for bomb residue and was begrudgingly released. They said "Oh, I guess it was just a pad. You're free to go." I was crying the whole flight after that, and it still haunts me to this day. It was absolutely embarrassing and quite frankly disgusting! Kylie Marie E
A Bridge Too Far....
I personally have never felt embarrassed going through airport security. I have, however, seen TSA agents checking my bags become embarrassed when I went through airport security.
I was coming home from a get-together of the extended poly family. I had a sound in my toiletries bag. It showed up on the X-ray, of course, and caused the X-ray tech to pull my bag for hand screening.
So the poor TSA guy opens my bag, takes out the sound, and starts waving it in the air saying "What is this? Is it a weapon?"
I tell him, no, it's not a weapon, it's a sex toy.
"A sex toy?" He says. "What kind of sex toy?"
So I explain it to him.
Poor guy was mortified. He looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him up.
I always thought TSA agents were basically impossible to embarrass. Apparently, a sound is a bridge too far.
Adults Who Still Need A Stuffed Animal To Go To Sleep Share Their Experiences
Reddit user Old-Horse1185 asked: '34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental object. Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?'
Stuffies, plushies, stuffed animals, or plush toys; whatever you might call them, we likely all can remember a fluffy friend we had in our childhood.
But some adults might have carried their childhood friend into adulthood, or even made others along the way, and they might even still go to sleep with them at night, too.
Redditor Old-Horse1185 asked:
"34 percent of adults sleep with a stuffed animal or other sentimental objects."
"Are you one of these people? What do you sleep with?"
The Twin Bond
"My twin sister died when I was 18. Ten years later, I still sleep with her unicorn pillow pet, she gets a nice spot on the bed, and I'd never be with someone who made me feel bad about having it. Only my girlfriend is trusted enough to give pillow pet a bath."
- insomniacinsanity
"My twin brother died when we were seven, and I used to have a specific stuffie that was given to him by an American lady who worked in the hospital he was in, but it got damaged in a house move when I was a teenager and was unsalvageable."
"It was a limited-run stuffie that you could only get in a specific American store in the 90s, so it was basically irreplaceable. My husband, 10+ years later and without letting on, tracked one down and paid a silly amount of money to have it shipped to the UK and gave it to me for Christmas a couple of years ago."
"I sleep with it every d**n night. I'm mid-30s, and I'll never stop."
- beesandsids
Keeping Them Close
"My partner passed away a few weeks ago, and I now cuddle his shirts that still have his scent. When my son spends the night with his grandparents, I also cuddle w his blanket or the pillow he sleeps on."
- anonmomanonnin
Cuddles and Fidgets
"My grandma made me a pillow when I was born. She sewed the pillow together and the pillow case, which had kittens all over it."
"I’m 33 years now she passed when I was 31, and I sleep with the same pillow in my arms every night."
"The pillow case is worn to bits because I guess I use it as a fidget thing I rub in between my fingers. Yes, I’m weird."
- Valuable_Panda_4228
From the Beyond
"I bought my wife a big stuffed seal for our first Valentine's Day. This seal has a slight green tint to it, so we named him Sealo Green. She had Sealo for a couple of years before she passed away."
"I hug Seal-o every night and pray to my wife, tell her about my day, things coming up, etc. I'll start using her perfume on Sealo soon, so I can smell her while I pray to her. My heart can't take it right now."
- Cubbycupcake-Uther
A Gift from Grandma
"I am one. My grandma gave all the grandkids a cat plush. A cat food brand had a promotion, if you bought enough cat food you'd get a free plushie. With 14 grandkids, a lot of food was bought to get there. Her cats didn't complain though, lol (laughing out loud)."
"I still sleep with it, it's a feeling of comfort, safety, and home."
- DavyJonesLocker2
An Evolving Friendship
"Stuffed dog I've had since my mom was squeezing him while giving birth to me. That dog has seen some s**t."
"He's a 'Sad Sam,' and his eyes used to break my heart when I was a kid, so I buried him under other stuffed animals or made him face the wall so I wouldn't have to look at him."
"Then I felt really guilty because I didn't want him to feel punished when all he wanted was to be loved. So I've been sleeping with him for almost 40 years now."
"I recently bought an original one off eBay to see the comparison and man, I have loved the daylights out of that dog!"
- dumdadumdumAHHH
A Special Bond
"I now sleep with my girlfriend's stuffed bunny she has had since birth. He’s my best friend now! I love you, Bootstin!!"
- silversauce
"Aww, that's awesome. My partner is the only person I've ever been with who didn't make me feel like crap for still having my blanket. When I travel, I leave it with them, and I think they probably cuddle up with it as much as I do after a rough day."
- the_Ozz
Keeping a Partner Close
"Sometimes when I take a nap and my wife doesn't, I'll take her pillow to sleep with because I like the smell."
"It smells like baby powder, vanilla, and her."
- TrailerParkPrepper
Very Considerate
"Huge jellycat bears. I don’t even wanna, but I’m just afraid I’ll hurt their feelings if I don’t."
- CommonAd9606
"As a kid, I routinely slept with a zillion stuffed animals on the bed because I didn’t want any of them to feel left out."
- PumaGranite
"As a kid? I'm 26 and still have to hug them all as I go to sleep or they'll feel left out!"
- Scymber
Lower Back Pain
"I sleep with a body pillow (plain cover). Doctor recommended it a few years ago to help with my lower back pain and it really does help."
- HappyTimeHollis
"I sleep with a body pillow but it's an alligator. My grandparents gave it to me when I was 11 years old. It has a huge open mouth you can put your arm through or use to prop your phone. Had it 24 years. Love it to death."
- smoretank
Full Body Support
"Squishmallows. I have sciatica and they're great for when I go to bed. I put one between my knees at night (side sleeper) and I snuggle up with one."
- Raging_Utahn
Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty
"I'm not one to sleep with plushies, but my cat likes to snuggle up to me and sleep with his fluffy little head on my shoulder."
- imaybeacatIRL
"Cats have to count. My previous cat actually slept as the little spoon, snuggled in my arms."
- disapprovingfox
The Long-Distance Relationship
"I am a guy, I recently got to sleep with a stuffed animal for a week, I won't go into the details as to why or how, just know that I lovvveeeed it. I would get called a weirdo if I confess to this to the world, so I have kept this to myself and my bestie only."
"The stuffed animal was a large teddy bear, since then it has been taken away and now it is placed in the living room, my bedroom has one small stuffed toy that I sleep with, it's not super large and not as comfortable as the teddy but it works."
"It makes me feel good and less alone, the closest person in the world to me is 700km away, what I'm about to say is weird but hugging the teddy and pretending it's her makes me calm and makes me want to sleep."
- uninformed-but-smart
Build a Friend... with IKEA
"Ikea Hippo, Ikea Elephant. The Ikea bigs are the superior sleep companion. I also have the shark, but he is not right for my shoulder when cuddling so he guards."
- pm-me-neckbeards
"I also keep my Ikea shark on guard at night! The Ikea octopus is the guard when I sleep at my boyfriend’s house."
- jeff-buckleys-teeth
A Comfort Become Real
"When I was a toddler, I got a stuffed animal as a present from my uncle. It was a light brown rabbit with button eyes and ears with rainbow stripes on the inside. I'm unsure of when I got it, but I was either one to two years old or four years old."
"I don't know how or why, but it had a distinct scent, not particularly noticeable unless you shoved your face in its fur, like I did, haha. As I grew up, I needed to have this rabbit with me or I would not be able to sleep. I remember this one time when I couldn't find it in time for bed, and I was so distressed trying to fall asleep that I started hallucinating."
"Over time she lost an eye, her ears became frayed, her fur fell out in patches, and she looks like a well-loved creature (because she is) or hot garbage, depending on who you ask."
" Even in my rebellious teen years, I couldn't pretend to dislike her because the scent and texture of her fur gave me a feeling of comfort and safety, even when it felt like everyone was against me."
"I live by myself now at age 34 and you better believe I still keep her in my bed. The scent is gone but sometimes I can trick my brain into thinking it's still there, and when I touch the texture of her fur, I will still get a wave of comfort and reassurance the same way I did as a child."
"It's amazing not only how humans will bond with anything, but also the effect these things will have on a person."
"This got sappy, my apologies."
"PS: Her name is Ninni."
- Mwuuh
"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'"
"I'm reminded of this quote from 'The Velveteen Rabbit.'"
- tinycole2971
While everyone might feel a little silly about their sleeping arrangements, most of those who still sleep with a cuddly friend have spent a great deal of their life with their companion already.
From sentimental reasons to physical needs, everyone needs comforted from time to time, and there's nothing quite like the unconditional love of a favorite stuffie friend.
Working remotely from home certainly has its advantages, including not having to endure traffic and deal with coworker drama.
But many people found that during the pandemic, the isolation of working from home left little to be desired.
People who have jobs requiring them to commute every day and arrive at the workplace are given the opportunity to be social and feel like they're a part of society.
But being a part of a work environment can come with its own unique occupational hazards.
Curious to hear from strangers in the workforce, Redditor AMGBOI69420 asked:
"What’s the most f'ked up thing you’ve seen at work?"
People in medical professions draw on their endless list of shocking events.
The Crazy Patient
"I was sorting all the psych patients that were hospitalized in my state, and got to this guy: a teenager or maybe a bit older, and he got sent to the ward because he suddenly got aggressive and started to have some episodes that he squirmed in pain/took off his clothes and things like that. Before being hospitalized he was complaining about these things, but nothing the medics did was working and nothing wrong was found, so it should be a psychiatric issue, no?"
"Wrong, he was put in the ward for 2 or so years and lost a lot of his life, being considered insane, because he developed a rare spinal cancer that was hard to detect and caused him extreme pain. Really f'ked up, I don't remember what happened to him afterward, but I not really optimistic that it had an happy ending."
– vtomal
The First Aid Officer Who Couldn't Unsee These
"I was a first aid officer in a corporate job."
"Elderly pedestrian hit by a car in our car park: compound tib fib fracture that tore through her calf muscle"
"Deep laceration with arterial bleeding after some idiot from another department tripped and dropped a metal first aid down a flight of stairs during a fire drill."
– W2ttsy
Patient Left Against Medical Advice
"Patient comes in to the ER, gets full sepsis workup. His chemistries are all f'ked up, he required a manual white cell count because his was so high the analyzer basically said 'WTF?!', his urine was full of white cells and bacteria. You know, your classic 'old person UTI that's gone septic.' We figure he's going to be admitted. Nope, they send him home. Mind you, this was not a case of 'patient left AMA (against medical advice),' this was just the doctor said 'Yeah, seems like you've got a UTI. Go home and drink some cranberry juice.'"
"Two days later, the same patient comes in, with the same complaint. Gets the same blood and urine tests. While I'm doing the manual white cell count, the phone rings. It's the reference lab down the street. The blood cultures on the patient I'm currently working on from two days prior have come up positive. I take the notification and call the ER to let them know. Us labbies figure he's going to be admitted for sure this time. Come to find out, they sent him home again. (Again, not an AMA, a 'Go home and drink some cranberry juice.')"
– coffeeblossom
Those in customer service share their shocking eye-witness accounts.
Trailblazer
"I worked at one of the busiest Walmarts in the country during Spring Break for 6 years... I wouldn't even know where to begin."
"I guess the drunk lady leaving the bathroom with her pants around her ankles while actively sh*tting as she walked across the front of the building and back outside into the wild."
"None of the workers wanted to deal with it so they parked a shopping cart over each turd until the cleaning crew came in."
– UncleGrako
Slimy Salespeople
"Worked at a Nissan dealership where most salespeople where slimy POS. One senior citizen with a veteran ballcap was working on a deal for a car for his grandkid. Nice old guy got tired and fell asleep in the chair waiting for the salesguy to work out the deal with the sales managers. One of the managers from the bullpen walks by and farts right in the sleeping old mans face then runs back to the bullpen where everyone was watching and laughing. It was disgusting, I told the sales guy who I knew was a Iraq vet. He went to the bull pen and screamed in the face of every single one of those f'kers. He screamed so much at them I thought he was gonna pass out."
– adrielago
Work environments can be extremely dangerous.
"Once saw someone step into a bucket of hot fryer oil, it got into their shoes and everything. Was so bad that when they took the shoe off it peeled of skin with it. The person had 2nd and I believe 3rd degree burns. He never came back but I saw the pictures and it was horrific."
– Mrlionscruff
"I worked at a printing manufacturer and saw something like this happen in person, the guy had his right arm shredded. The wrench in his other hand stopping the machine is the only reason he didn't go all the way through. Later that month a 2400lbs paper roll was dropped on a coworker in front of me. I'm glad to be out of that job."
– Beullersghost
Threatening The Employee
"I worked at a Goodwill for a few years, we had lots of drug addicts trying to shoot up in the changing room and had an occasional OD."
"But the most shocking thing I experienced was the amount of times people physically threatened or attacked me or my co-workers when we refused their donations. Getting in our faces and trying to push us around, one guy tried to hit someone with a car. Another one threw a picture frame that narrowly missed smashing my supervisor's head, another threw such a temper tantrum that he smashed an entire set of chairs and a kitchen table."
"There was also someone who called the police because we changed the prices on soft-cover books."
– carefulwithyrbananas
T.M.I.
"Saw one guy drop dead (office job)"
"One get an arm cut off (Pulp mill)"
"One get de-gloved (Paper mill)"
"But the winner was the day we walked into work at an auto parts store and found the assistant manager f'king another assistant manager. Just going at it."
– Bigdaddyjlove1
Mechanical Nightmare
"Box cutting job saw a guy die after losing his arm to the machine. I still to this day dont know how my room mate at the time kept going to work for another few weeks before quitting."
"We'd go to work stoned off our a**es everyday. And seeing that guy die was a nope for me. I knew it was far to easy for the same mistake to happen to me stoned. Wasn't gonna get sucked in and die for 15 bucks an hr."
"Any heavy machinery related jobs since Ive made sure to ask about work related accidents and how common they are along with when the last one happened."
– idontneedjug
When I was a parade performer at certain theme park, we performed on a day when it was reportedly record-breaking heat, and some of my fellow performers who were dancing atop a couple of the floats collapsed and passed out from heat stroke in view of guests.
It was the scariest thing to see several paramedics bursting onto the scene and taking these unconscious young performers being carried away in stretchers.
Since then, the park instituted a code-90 protocol where the choreography was modified whenever the temperature hit 90 degrees.
Be it desperation, self-indulgence, or simply optimism, many people never leave home without a condom.
If the chances of "getting lucky" are much more likely at some places than others, one never knows where or when they might hit it off with someone.
Including a funeral.
Bizarre and tasteless as that sounds, a recent study reportedly showed that 1 in 8 men under the age of 35 do, in fact, bring condoms with them when attending a funeral, "just in case".
Whether or not these condoms were used, however, is another story entirely.
"After a recent study found 1 in 8 men under 35 admit to taking condoms to funerals "just in case", what's your experience with this?"
Select Crowd...
"I went to my grandma's funeral and hit it off with this hot nurse."
"Things were going great until my brother pulled me aside and said it was my second cousin."
'You know who shows up at funerals for old people? "
"Family members."- bumblef**kglobal
"I remember seeing a really hot chick at my grandmother's funeral."
"Immediately thought was I should chat her up."
"Then my brain went to, 'What if she's family and we just never met?'"
"I just went back to mourning."- VideoGameDana
Okay then...
"Once I was dating a girl whose dad absolutely forbid us from dating."
"Like, would lock his daughter in her room and take her phone to make sure we did not communicate."
"She told me when we spoke for a moment at Starbucks that she would date me if her dad was out of the picture."
"He died is a car crash on the freeway, and since her mom liked me invited me to the funeral."
"My girl and I sat next to each other at the funeral and couldn't wait, got it on in the parking lot of the funeral home."
"Condom was necessary."- crunchysquare
car studio GIF by ZI ItalyGiphyNever The Funeral, Always The Wake
"Ngl, some of the best parties I’ve been to have been wakes."
"In no way disrespectful, they were a celebration of the person’s life and also a massive tension release after grimness of the funeral itself."
"So I’m not surprised some people take a condom just in case."
"I’ve never done it, but I didn’t often expect to get laid regardless of situation."- Goryokaku
Oops...
"Proudly in the 7 out of 8 camp."
"But the 1 in 8 aren’t wrong."
"Heard through the family grapevine that one of my female cousins met a dude at a funeral and they banged it out the same night."
"Also turns out they were related (what’re the odds at the funeral of a relative? )."
"Distant enough they would never see each other again (different branches of her family), close enough that their family photo albums have overlapping people."- ESQBOJaguar
If You Really Think About It...
"Biologically speaking mourning/death triggers mating instincts as though that death tells the lizard brain in us that we need to procreate because death is scary."
"Scum'ically speaking, funerals typically leave people especially women in a state of fragility that leaves them vulnerable to suggestion and coercion."
"Socially speaking, some people, both men and women, seek comfort and company after/during a mourning period and when two people engage in comforting each other emotionally through a death it can trigger chemicals in the brain that cause the idea of connection or chemistry which can inevitably lead to copulation."- KURO-K1SH1
Season 18 Episode 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyBetter Safe Than Sorry!
"If you forget to bring a condom you increase the chance of casual sex with 10.000%."
"It’s a well-known fact."- Mukkeman
Not Just Men...
"I'm not a man and I've taken condoms 'just in case' pretty much anywhere."
"I've told folks to take condoms 'just in case' to a festival who I was sure would never have a one night stand and who I had never even seen mingle with any man/woman."
"It's a safety."
"The thing costs less than a dollar, but if anything somehow would happen, not having it could cost you your healthiness or independence/freedom due to a child being your new responsibility."
"Unless you absolutely, 100% am sure you will not be having sex that day, and no one will be able to change your mind - carry a condom."
"And having visited a funeral is likely not impactful enough to everyone to make them absolutely sure of that."-deterministic_lynx
It Is, Indeed, A Source Of Comfort...
"I'm a woman, but I'm going to point out that grief affects everyone differently."
"Some people get an intense need for sex when they are grieving, I speak from experience here."
"Perhaps they're carrying them everywhere already, but choosing to take some specifically to a funeral makes perfect sense to me."- Sexy-Snowflake
"My bf's son died, and his sex drive was significantly higher around that time period, I think it's just a way men deal with stress."- Arielxxxlee
"There is no 'wrong' way to grieve."- Noctudeit
Sexy Ava Gardner GIF by Turner Classic MoviesGiphyAlways Listen To Your Mother...
"When I turned 15 my mom told me to always have a condom in my wallet just in case."
"That was before people realized it was really bad to keep it in your wallet."
"So yeah I’ve been pretty much everywhere with one 'just in case'."- euphoria110
If It's Already There, Why Take It Out?
"I do too."
"I'm not going to remove the random condom that is in my wallet just because I'm going to a funeral."
"Not that I ever needed one, I'm still a virgin BTW."- azarbi
When One Life Ends, Another Begins...
"I’ve heard that the proximity of death increases the desire to make new life."
"Anecdotally, my FIL and MIL met at a funeral and 9 months later my husband was born."- KerouacsGirlfriend
Lionel Messi Hug GIF by FC BarcelonaGiphyNot SPECIFICALLY Funerals...
"We bring condoms everywhere, 'just in case', not only the funeral, you silly!"- WeetIkVeelNL
No one should be judged if they happen to have a condom with them when attending a funeral.
After all, should the moment arise, better to be prepared and safe.
On the other hand, if any of these people are attending the funeral with the intention of "getting lucky", that's just... yeah...
The Best Real-Life Examples Of 'Never Interrupt An Enemy While They're Making A Mistake'
People will trip themselves up eventually.
Because liars and lunatics always make mistakes.
They may be small mistakes, but they leave just enough room to expose their wicked ways.
Sure we all want to fight off an enemy and be the victor.
But sometimes the victor's greatest weapon is nothing but a little patience.
Then, we celebrate with a smile as we watch the crumble.
And maybe we have a little victory dance.
Redditor Spinksy48 wanted to understand the fun of letting your opponent lose by just doing nothing, so they asked:
"What is your 'never interrupt an enemy while they are making a mistake' moment?"
If the story starts to get really crazy, just wait for a break.
Then ask a question from the beginning.
I guarantee you know more of the lie than they do.
Just keep talking, friend.
Gotcha
Dashcam Hello GIF by TranscendGiphy"I let the lady who changed lanes into me run her mouth about how I rear-ended her before pulling the cop aside to show him my DashCam footage."
ThrowingChicken
A Cherry Wave
"I was accused by a neighbor of reversing out of my drive and hitting his car. He gave me the date and time I had allegedly done it and pointed to a (small) scrape on my car that supposedly matched perfectly the location of the dent on his. This was 7 weeks after the alleged event, by the way."
"I said it wasn't me but told him to contact his insurance and we'd see what they said. A few weeks later I get a letter from my insurance asking what had happened, to which I responded with the date I had bought my car (and updated my insurance) - two weeks after the supposed bump."
"He never spoke to me again but I used to give him a cheery wave every time I saw him glowering at his window."
Gazcobain
Speak Once
"In a meeting with my project manager who has not been in the office or worked a proper full day for MONTHS, she has increasingly been annoyed by people bypassing her to get things done by telling me and her other direct reports what to do."
"I was about to answer a question for stakeholders, and she told me to let her speak one sentence and will let me have my bit. I did as I was told, and she told the stakeholder a completely wrong thing about the system we were handling and made a complete fool out of herself. She got sacked this month."
choiaera
We Hated Each Other
"Guy stole a presentation from me, this is 25 years ago. We hated each other. When he started presenting I realized I had made a huge error, didn’t say anything. Let him get through it. Asked him about the error, but he couldn’t answer. This was in front of COO. Got fired, not for just that, he was an overall douche. This was before everyone was on PCs, and had one printer in one room."
Bmilvis
Whoops
Office Space GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"When a coworker who I hated got fired a few weeks after I decided to stop fixing his mistakes even if it impacted a client."
Hrekires
It's always thrilling to see the bad colleagues go!
Bye. Bye. Bye.
I will see you on the 15th
Idiot Reaction GIFGiphy"Not my story, but several years ago my older brother was fighting for custody of his son with his ex-wife. As the first custody hearing date approached, they were exchanging [un]pleasantries over text and my brother ended up saying something along the lines of, 'I'm not continuing this conversation. I will see you on the 15th.' The ex-wife told him, 'The hearing is on the 25th dumba**.'"
"So of course instead of correcting her, my brother just allowed her to keep thinking it was the wrong date, and she missed the first hearing entirely. It became the first of many mistakes she made in the court system that eventually led to my brother and the woman who is now his second wife winning full custody of his son."
Damn_Furries
Follow the Prints
"I'm working on a job site and the architect is there one day. I've been given some light fixtures for the sconces in a leasing office lobby. The fixtures are meant to be hung from a ceiling, they can't be installed on a wall. I attempt to convey this to the architect, but he brushes me off and just tells me to follow the prints."
"I turn to the apprentice and say, well you heard the man, put them up. A bit later, we hear the crashing of glass. The architect asks what was that? I said your light fixture. As I picked up a broom and dustpan to go clean up."
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
No Debt
"As I was being fired from a job, the district manager requested we record the conversation. He thought I was gonna be very upset, so I obliged. Then when he started to tell me why I was being fired he started with, 'You are gonna be graduating college soon, and we want to make sure we get ahead of you leaving us.'"
"I very calmly asked him to send me the recording right after he said that. Then later that day I called a lawyer. I now have no student loan debt."
JRTHEAMAZING
The Screams
"I reminded my ex-wife the divorce court was the next day and was invited to Get F**ked. So I went by myself, she failed to appear and pissed off the Judge so he asked what would be my desired outcome for assets and Custody of the kids. He wrote down whatever I wanted and I could hear her screams when she read the Orders from 3500km away."
comfortablynumb15
Silence
"There's a thing in law enforcement/legalese called a spontaneous utterance. Many many people will bury their own cases with these while bi*ching and moaning at their arresting officer on the way to jail."
raccoonsonbicycles
That last one is good knowledge to have in the back pocket.