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When I was a kid, the movie Planet of the Apes terrified me. The image of the ape people in the movie was ingrained in me because I thought they were coming to get me.


Why did I feel so threatened, you ask?

It's because whenever I misbehaved – I was a handful up until I was around eight-years-old – my mother would call for the "mountain people" to take me back because the mountain was where my parents found me as an infant.

My mom used to fake dial, and I had until the seventh digit for me to apologize for my bad behavior.

So when I saw the movie, I thought the apes were the "mountain people." Scary.

Curious about what strangers believed when they were younger, Redditor MamaHotWheels asked:

"What's the most delusional belief you held as a child?"

Where You Live

As kids, these Redditors believed the location of their residence corresponded to their street or district zones, or the weather was specific to where they lived.

State Of Address

"We moved to a town when I was five that had a neighborhood with streets named after states. We had moved from out of state and ended up living on the street with the name of the state we'd moved from. I assumed anyone who moved from out of state had to live on the street corresponding to the state they came from."

EndoShota

Dialing It In

"Similar to this, my first experience as a kid with using a phone where you had to dial 9 for an outside line was at school. Our school District was District 9, so I just assumed that's why we had to dial 9 to use the phone. Also, lived in a town where our zip code was 97503, and at the time our area code was 503 on our phone number, so of course I assumed that everyone's must match like that. A lot of weird coincidences that my child brain just took as fact."

Jasmanian-Devil

Rainy Regions

"That if it was raining at my house, it must be raining on the entire world."

uswforever

"I thought it was only raining in our town, just our town, then my brothers told me it rained other places at the same time, and I went to the other extreme, thinking the same as you did."

Pastawench

Are You What You Eat?

These Redditors had earlier misconceptions about the foods we eat – including a common fear that swallowing seeds would result in unspeakable horrors.

It's Hard To Stomach

"If you accidentally swallowed a watermelon seed you would grow one in your belly."

alexandranichole0

"And if you swallowed your gum your stomach would stick to itself."

Aelaer

'Tis The Wrong Seasons

"That salt and pepper cancel each other out. Too much salt? Add some pepper to the dish. Same if you did too much pepper - just add salt!"

"I ruined many family dinners."

kittywine

The Caffeine Effect

"my dad would always drink coffee before going to bed, so I thought coffee was like hot chocolate for adults. I only clicked that coffee is supposed to give you energy and should not be taken before bed when I was over 20ish. Turns out caffeine does not affect my dad. I still forget sometimes and take coffee before bed and then regret it as I wait out the insomnia."

MMXXfan

When In Rum

"That a rum and coke was a 'roman coke.' Mom just said it fast. Figured the ancients just liked their coke that way."

conchshell1

Myths And Mysterious Circumstances

We all believed in Father Christmas and the Easter Bunny, but did anyone believe in warlocks and witches, live-action superheroes, and unsettling phenomena?

These Redditors will tell you all about it.

The Coven Is Comin'

"If I didn't sleep with my whole body covered by my blanket, witches would come in through my window at night and kidnap me. As long as I was under the covers they couldn't find me. Tbh, I can't say it's delusional because I'm still here so it clearly didn't NOT work..."

IlliniBone54

Heroes

"Power Rangers were real because if they weren't, it would have been a cartoon."

SaltierThanAll

Preparing To Go Missing

"I mentally prepared myself on how to survive in the bermuda triangle. Like it was going to be my number one problem in my life."

"A kid from North East Ohio..."

huggiesupreme

Having a childlike sense of wonder is endearing, but as we get older and wiser, all that innocence gradually fades away. And sometimes it's for the better.

But being jaded is not cute, and neither is believing in mountain people coming to take you away.

To this day, my mother has no recollection of her cruel and unusual punishment she tormented me with. Selective memory, perhaps?

Thanks, mom!

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".

Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.

U/cperr310 asked: What's the dumbest thing you or someone you know has said?



First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.

Well, that’s awkward.

I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".

Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.

Xeeke

....no. No it’s not.

War Guy GIF Giphy

In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries

"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"

Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol

Papapsie

Fake but also real but also demonic?

A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.

HotelRoom5172648B

But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.

Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.

Starr_fall

Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.​

Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?

angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY Giphy

After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.

Onbakeplatinum

Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.

Rysilk

Uhhhhh that’s racist af.

Not to me but my husband.

He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.

My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."

...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.

HelloxOctober

Just gonna leave this one here....

"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."

The_questcoast

Well that’s a new one.

A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."

Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.

Tricky_Ad_8459

But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.​

I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.

alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy

A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.

A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?

In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.

Relikter

Ah yes, the two types of guitars.

Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.

Yankstraveler

Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.

CCC_037

Did you change your birthday?

At the bank.

Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?

Me: Yes

T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?

M: Yes

T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?

M: laughing I sure as hell hope so

That_one_air_guy

I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.

Newport, obviously.

I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come

Image by Gianni Crestani from Pixabay

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