Trouble will find us no matter what. Even when we do our best to walk the straight and narrow... or do our best to cover our tracks, the universe will send justice. Justice often is sent in the form of mom and dad or 911. They will be swift and heavy and it makes going home the most nerve wracking experience. Home becomes the enemy but being naughty comes with consequences.
Redditor u/CosmicLuxray wanted everyone to open up some tales about naughty behavior by asking.... What was your "I'm f***ing dead when I get home" moment?
Don't be Dirty!Giphy
When i was a kid (grade 1) we got to wear our halloween costumes to school(i went as a doctor), and my mom told me to not get my costume dirty. Well we had painting time and of course i ended up with paint on the outfit. Hearing my moms words in my head i thought i was going to be in so much trouble, so my best idea was to hide in the cupboards until pick up time. I was so upset i had to show my mom my ruined outfit and cried when she picked me up. She ended up not being mad and we turned the splotches red with paint to make it a more 'realistic ' doctors outfit and all was saved. carrotcart
I was arrested as a teenager for graffiti and malicious damage. My mum had to leave work to come get me out of lock up. That car trip home was horrifying especially because i knew when i got home my old man was going to absolutely tear me a new one for being a damn idiot. goreway
"I'VE SWALLOWED MY CHEWIE!"
More of a 'dead IF I get home' story: My mum always used to say "Don't swallow chewing gum. It will wrap around your heart, and you will die". I can't remember how old I was. I'll say 7 or 8. One day, while out riding my bike, it happened. I accidentally swallowed my chewing gum. I abandoned the bike where I'd stopped it (maybe 100 yards or so from my house.
What use was it to me by then? I was terminal), and screamed "I'VE SWALLOWED MY CHEWIE!" ("chewie" being slang for chewing gum, where I lived). Fearing for what little precious life I might have left in me, I ran home, in floods of hysterical tears. I was hoping to I'd at least have enough time to explain to my mum that I was about to die, and why, rather than have a stranger find me in the street with no explanation, and cause my family to panic.
I didn't die. matildamint
Im pretty old, so this happened a while back, when i was in Jr. High. An occurrance in school.
Just want you to know that i am the living, breathing actual reason why cherry bombs became illegal in Texas.
BTW; Juvie is not that bad if you are admitted as a folk hero. Bebe_Bleau
Every waking minute for the first 25 years of my life.
My mom is a violent sociopath. toidi_diputs
I was SO clever!
Growing up, I had a friend who lived a few doors down from me. 15, I was pretty rebellious and was seeing a guy my family forbade me from seeing (hindsight, they were right for good reasons).
One day, I had the genius idea to tell my parents I was going to my neighborhood friend's house, when really I was walking .5 miles to visit said boy. I was SO clever!
The grand plan came to a halt an hour later when my friend came over to my house asking if I wanted to hangout. Probably should have told the friend I was using her as an alibi... My parents called my phone, and didn't say anything except "come home now", and I just KNEW they knew. I've never had the anxiety like I did walking home that day. thepaige
Was hanging out with some girls when I was 14, one of them was mad I wasn't drinking their beer so she poured it all down my shirt.
I was mortified that my mom would smell it on me, so I washed it in ocean water then hosed it down with "Off" bug spray.
And my Hail Mary worked! Got away with it, LOL. eljefino
Oh I was so damn wrong.
When I was in 7th grade I was dealing with a lot of depression over the year which made me not want to focus in class a lot so I fail 2 of my classes which meant I would have to go to summer school. I was handed a paper stating I had to attend summer school if I want to move on to 8th grade. Obviously me being the scare nervous child I just kept quite about it and hid the paper in my bag. I got home I hop on the Xbox hoping that my parents would just come home make dinner and I could tell them tomorrow when I calmed down.
Oh I was so damn wrong.
My mom practically kick down the door and yelled for my name, she came upstairs saw that I was on the Xbox and she was furious about that and she straight up yelled at me for a good hour. I swear my mom is gonna kill me in my sleep on day and I wouldn't be surprised. msunfair
4th grade troubles....
When I was in 4th grade, this guy used to kick me in my shin every single day. One day I snapped. I borrowed my friend's perfume, sprayed it in the kid's eyes, punched him a few times, then walked off the school bus like a G. I went to daycare directly after school, and the bus driver ended up parking there so that she could rinse the kid's eyes with water. The director of the daycare center called my mom and I just knew I'd get into so much trouble.
Once I told my parents the whole story, they weren't mad. I also didn't get in trouble at school because I had a good reputation. I had a good relationship with my principal and all of my teachers, so they knew that I had been pushed to that point. I have no regrets. TheLocaChica05
I set my school on fire.
I was with some friends who had a lighter after school. There was a large amount of white fluffy balls that i think come from some sort of tree during spring. They began talking about how you can burn a dandelion and it'll have a cool effect. Naturally my eyes went to the field which they noticed. We gathered up a small handful and lit it on the cement not the field.
We weren't completely stupid but the wind carried the burning embers to the field next to us and suddenly the sky went black from smoke. We ran like idiots and where caught a couple blocks away.
Got ticketed and a court date. I walked home that day. Not out of having a lack of funds for the bus but wanting to buy some time. Anon761
Moms not Happy....Giphy
In 5th grade we were on the computer during some free time before school ended (1998, so being on the computer was a big deal). My friend happened upon an unblocked porn site, and we dared him to set one of the pictures as the computer background. He resisted, resisted, and with the peer pressure of 4 boys aged 10-11 years old, he quickly did it as the bell rang. We thought it was hilarious.... our moms did not. Wu-TangJedi
I was 7 years old and I was sent to my room for some reason. We lived in a one-story house so it occurred to me that I could open the window, push the screen out, and go to my friend's house accords the street. It felt good to escape for a moment but I knew I was in for it when I went back home. And I was. buzzmebrotendo
It was a dark day.
I skipped school to hang out with my boyfriend. He convinced me that I sounded just like my mom on the phone so I should call into school and pose as my mom saying I was sick. So I did. The office lady took the info and I thought that's that.
10 minutes later I get a call at my boyfriend's house from my mom. Office lady knew something was off and called my mom at work. Mom knew where I'd be and called my step-dad to go get me. He was already down the block by the time she called me at his house. I still remember the icy chill of her voice when I got on the phone. It was a dark day. bnbdp
We knew we were damn dead.
Well it was my friend's birthday and we all were at his house. Our friend who was 17 (we were fish, he was a junior) picked all 5 of us up at midnight and we drove around. We ended up in my friends neighborhood around 2:30am and the speed limit was like 35 and our driver decides 85 is close enough to the limit. We see lights and all crapped ourselves. The cop interrogated our driver and questioned why we were out past curfew.
Anyway we got a warning and we all unpoop ourselves. The cop is walking to his car to leave when one of our friends recognized the cop as his neighbor and yelled "Officer ___ it's me your neighbor." We all just looked at him. He claims to this day he was the one to get us out of being put into juvie. Anyway we get home to the lights on in the kitchen and the bedrooms. We knew we were damn dead. Reddit
We were fish on a school trip. Dad had told me not to swim into the blue because I have one pec which is smaller than the other. I was determined to prove him wrong. Ended up being abducted and in a fish tank in a dentist's office in Sydney.
My dad eventually came to pick me up with this weird girl he met underway. He was glad to see me, I though he would've killed me. GeneralBamisoep
I skipped school and my mom texted me in all caps
"YOU SKIPPED SCHOOL??"
Turns out I forgot I had life 360 on my phone. BillOnMyPoopButt69
"Hey I'm up stairs"
I received a detention for doing something bad in 3rd grade. As I was walking home from school I noticed my dad's car in the driveway when he normally wouldn't be home for another 2-3 hours. I just knew, I knew why he was home early. Walked in the front door and I instantly hear "Hey I'm up stairs". Never got a detention again after that. SeriesLive
The Koolaid Man.
Well i was already home and it was thanksgiving morning. Mom worked nights and was on her way home. Me and my brother fought often and this day we started fighting in our narrow hallway. He grabs me to i guess put me in a headlock or something and i lower my body and stick my butt out and he proceeds to push me against the wall and my entire butt goes through it like the koolaid man.
Well a few minutes later my mother pulls up and i decided to take it on the chin and tell her what happened before she saw it for herself Huskimbo9
(Progress reports are the bane of society)
It was eighth grade and I had gotten a D on my progress report (progress reports are the bane of society) and your parents had to sign them for the school. I sat in the grocery store parking lot while my dad screamed at me for getting a D. Swear to god I felt like I was tilting on an axis. He went into the store and it was dead quiet. I cried the whole way back. I knew he was going to tell all his friends about it too.
It was absolutely the worst, and I'm not a bad kid. To this day my parents getting progress reports or report cards terrifies me even if i get something like a 79 in fear of the screaming.
Edit: wow I know everyone never expects it but I REALLY didn't expect this to be seen by so many people and have them relate as well. It makes me sad that this is a universal thing but at least we can band together. Sharknado92
"Where the hell were you that day?"Giphy
My parents didn't let me date. As a girl-obsessed high school kid, one day I decided to ditch my $3,000 SAT course that my parents paid for and hang out with this girl I was crushing on. I lied to my parents that I was going to do some after-class group study with some people in my class afterwards so I could earn a few more hours to be with this girl. Everything went fine that day. My parents didn't doubt me a bit.
The trouble came a week later. I forgot to hide any "evidence" that I wasn't in class off my desk (used movie tickets, receipts from Panda Express, etc.), and while I was in school, my mom discovered those things in my room. When I came home, my mom's mood suddenly changed, and she scarily asked me, "Where the hell were you that day?" and handed me all the "evidences" and lashed out on me for three hours for wasting my precious time on girls while I should be focusing on schoolwork. My parents and I didn't talk to each other for two weeks after they discovered that I lied.
It was one of the sweatiest moments of my life. TuxedoCatSupremacist
Food is a totally subjective thing. What has one person drooling might leave another dry-heaving just thinking about.
Having said that, some stuff is just plain ... wrong.
Have you ever eaten something that hit you so wrong that it kind of upset your soul? Something so foul and sacrilegious that even years later you get a little bit angry thinking about it?
Something that made your tastebuds cry out for you to avenge them?
Then this is the article for you.
Reddit user PhillyGirlLovesBagel asked:
"What's the worst food you've ever tried?"
Friends, your hunger deserved better.
The Worst Burger On EarthHungry Kate Hudson GIF by filmeditorGiphy
"In the Dominican Republic, there is a mountain in Puerto Plata called Isabel de Torres. On that mountain there is a restaurant."
"That restaurant sells the worst goddamn burgers you will ever eat in your life."
"Would just like to say, don't be discouraged from visiting the Dominican Republic. The people, culture, scenery, and food there are all amazing!"
"Take it from me, I lived there for six years. 9/10, would recommend. Just seriously - AVOID THIS BURGER."
"They were so bad I almost puked after the first bite and our entire party left. The patty (if you could even call it that) was burnt to a crisp."
"The patty itself looked and tasted like a mix if rice, eggplant, and beef. It also had way too much 'sauce,' which was just a mix of the cheapest available ketchup and those like liquid cheeses that come in a bottle at fast food places."
"Other than that, the burger had tomato, arugula, and burnt cheddar cheese. I really, REALLY, cannot overstate how bad it was."
"The worst thing is that this wasn't a one off with the restaurant. We were a group of five and we all ordered a burger (there were like three things on the menu), and they all came out the same. We left."
When Mom Was Outdisgusted go away GIFGiphy
"There was a week where my mom was out so my dad had to cook for my brother and I. His first day he made chili."
"By chili I mean that he browned some beef, threw it in a pot with water and added one single packet of chili seasoning to the water and served it to us."
"We had frozen pizza the rest of the week."
Moms CookingSchitts Creek No GIF by CBCGiphy
"My ex mother-in-laws meatloaf."
"She literally just pressed ground beef into a square baking pan and threw it in the oven. Zero spices. Zero anything but hot ground beef."
"She also made 'baked spaghetti' which was her take on baked ziti. It was cooked spaghetti noodles with plain tomato sauce in a pan and baked."
"She was so terrified of the 'negative health effects' of salt that she grew to fear ALL spices. Her cabinets and fridge were filled with everything reduced sodium, fat free, sugar free, etc."
"Her cooking made me realize why I had to twist my ex's arm to try REAL meatloaf and baked ziti the way it's supposed to be made. She had no idea what she was doing in the kitchen."
That French FlanMelissa Barrera Eating GIF by VidaGiphy
"I was in France and stopped by a place in Paris."
"I had been travelling for several months and missed Mexican food. When the owner found out I was Mexican, she insisted I try the flan she just made as a first attempt."
"The food was pretty alright, not like home but it hit the spot. She brought out the flan and stood there expectantly waiting for my response."
"It was absolutely the worst flan I had ever had in my life."
"Like it just tasted BAD. Like eggs that were off? Flan is a custard and the temperature line between custard and sweetened scrambled eggs is a fine one."
"I couldn't hide my reaction and she became visibly upset. I ate a little more to be polite but just couldn't anymore."
"I told her I'm just very picky and suggested a few things as I had worked in a bakery that had made some in the past (aside from family recipes). I gave her my contact info and a few weeks later got an email thanking me."
"A group of Mexican musicians came through and told her while it wasn't traditional, it was very tasty and had a good texture."
"She said any time I was back to please stop by for a meal on the house. Unfortunately, the next time I was back the place had closed down."
Wiggling Away...Cake Shaking GIF by Miss PettyGiphy
"Lots of my family still thinks aspics are a necessity for family dinners, so there'll usually be a variety of jellied salads. Tomato salad, shredded cabbage salad, usually some kind of weird olive and hard boiled egg combo for some reason."
"All sitting on their plates, perfectly rectangular, wiggling away..."
"People in the 50s and 60s put EVERYTHING in gelatin. I’m pretty sure there’s a recipe out there for roast chicken jello."
"Because way way back before gelatin came in a packet, it was really time consuming to extract it from bones. Aspic was seen as a kind of status symbol, as well as a creative and colourful thing to make for parties."
"And then when it did come in a packet in the 50s and 60s, there was a huge drive to try and market something which was essentially a biproduct of the meat industry as a food staple."
"One of my ex girlfriend's grandmothers had the whole family over for dinner one night. She cooked spaghetti."
"My ex's mom pulled me aside and warned me that it would be terrible. Not just bad. Terrible."
"Boy, was she right."
"Her grandmother boiled water, put in the noodles, DID NOT DRAIN THE WATER, and then dumped some salt, pepper, and KETCHUP into the pot and served it. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could dry heave over the toilet."
A Redemption Arcjames franco sandwich GIFGiphy
"This one has a redemption arc."
"My then-girlfriend brought some leftover Ethiopian food and kept talking about how awesome it was and had me try some injera (like a giant sourdough pancake) after she reheated everything."
"It was absolutely revolting. Dry and brittle and weirdly grainy and the wrong side of chewy. Seriously the worst thing I had ever had in my life."
"Fast-forward about a month and we go to that restaurant. I wasn't excited, but whatever. I figure there has to be good stuff and I can avoid the injera bread pancake disaster, right?"
"The staff there tells me the injera is your UTENSIL. You're supposed to tear off bits and use it to pick up your food with."
"You're not supposed to eat it by itself, it's purposefully flavorless. They also say never put it in a fridge or microwave it; at which point my girlfriend stared at the table mournfully as she had served it like that."
"The order arrives and I take a breath, pick up some red lentils with the injera expecting that same dry brittle grainy weirdness ... and I discovered my death row meal, folks."
"It's the greatest food on the planet. The fresh injera tastes amazing and only highlights everything you pick up with it! Gored gored (beef pan roasted in berbere that's super spicy and amazing), injera, and red lentils are now the best food I've ever tasted in my life!"
"If you're ever in Memphis, go to Abyssinia on Poplar. Try the red lentils."
This Old Mans Recommendationgross vomit GIFGiphy
"My dad was finishing our basement in our old house, and he had an elderly man from our old church helping him out with hanging the drywall, electrical wiring, that kind of thing."
"Well, this old geezer knew my family liked beef heart (side note: beef heart is delicious, but you have to be ready for the ventricles - they can be a bit weird to chew on if you don't cut them out of the piece of meat that you're eating), so he says we are gonna love kidneys."
"My dad always loved liver, so he just assumed it would be something similar."
"NOT. EVEN. F*CKING. CLOSE."
"My dad did everything he could to spice this rancid meat up and make it not taste like pure, unadulterated sadness. Nothing worked - it smelled like piss, the house reeked of it for weeks after."
"My dad refused to even try it, my mom took a bite and spat it out, and then they made my brother and I eat a bite. I can still smell that stench..."
"So anyway, we end up ordering pizza and that old fart sat down and ate an entire pound of that acrid organ. Mind you, this is the same old man that would eat bulbs of garlic like they were f*cking apples in the middle of church, so I don't know why that wasn't a red flag right from the start to my parents."
That Last SentenceSeason 7 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy
"In High School I got pizza from the pizza shack in the lunch area. The pizza was soggy as hell from the grease. Upon taking a bite, it tasted like alcohol."
"The bread had fermented."
"That last sentence was like a punch to the gut. Wtf"
"I think I tasted this comment 🤢"
Turtle TeaSipping Kermit The Frog GIFGiphy
"I lived in China for a while. My employer took we to an extremely fancy restaurant once, one that was apparently listed as one of the 'eight treasures of Chinese cuisine' by the CCP."
"It specialized in accurate recipes from a period that, if I recall correctly, was about 700 years old. They were ... intense."
"They served a tea that was basically just a baby turtle boiled in water and served, turtle and all."
"Beyond the unpleasantness of opening your little cup and finding a whole boiled baby turtle, it tasted like week old gym socks."
Alright, you've made it through Reddit's horror stories, it's your turn.
What have you eaten that you seriously wish you could un-eat? Do you actually like any of the things listed here?
Share your thoughts in the comments.
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Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Secrets, we all have them. Some will be spilled over time and some will go to the grave.
Mine are going to the grave. Just in case you were waiting for a truth sharing moment, there it is.
Others often feel the need to shed their secrets. Secrets can weigh on you.
So every once in awhile people start letting loose, because it's the only way to free yourself.
That's why you get a therapist, to share the most shocking, intimate details of your life. To spill and be free.
Or... naturally, you come to Reddit.
Redditor General-Pea2016 wanted see who would be willing to spill some tea about life, they asked:
"What have you never told anyone?"
I am a keeper of secrets. Not a spiller. Unless of course a there is a jug of top shelf cosmos around. Then we may have trouble.
“wedding”Episode 12 Wedding GIF by FriendsGiphy
"No one, and I mean absolutely no one (aside from my wife) who attended my “wedding” knew that it was actually our one year anniversary party." ~ Reddit
"I had this lucky streak as a kid...s mall stuff usually, like free 20oz on a soda cap. My mom and I didn't have a great relationship (not bad, just distant because my sister died) but she was always super excited about it. So when it hadn't happened for a while, I started creating situations to keep her attention." ~ SyninHex
"I grew up raised by my grandfather, when I was 21 he had a stroke. I called 911 and practically drove behind the ambulance the entire way to the hospital I ended up stayed with him there for 2 days while his kids flew from across the country to see him. I remember him laying there as I held his hand, he kept saying my name over and over again, and he just passed like that sometime in the night, I never told my uncles or aunts exactly what happened, it was just to surreal for me." ~ Echob0_
"That I'm very lost in life and don't know what to do, like in a point of where I have free time I don't do anything productive just lay in my bed for hours. Sometimes at night thinking whether I'm going down the right path, or am I doing things right, or just thinking about how my closest friends n family will react if I just end it one day. But that won't happen since I'm too afraid to do it." ~ Error_Code505
Steveyacht rock GIFGiphy
"I like the song 'Oh Sherrie' by Steve Perry un-ironically, and when I watched the music video for the first time in years a few years ago, I cried. I don't know why, maybe it was the nostalgia (I was a kid in the 80s)." ~ napalmnacey
Such scandal. And such innocence. I was waiting for tragedy and mayhem. Let's see...
DiagnosisTeddy Bear Hug GIFGiphy
"That I’m pretty sure I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and as I get older (especially this past year) I see signs that I may be incapable of being happy." ~ Giveushealthcare
"Back in high school, my friends and I had a secret alcohol stash in the woods. They pissed me off one day, so I took the stuff I wanted to drink for myself. They later discovered the best stuff was gone and they never suspected it was me. They thought a parent or sibling had found out and almost gave away their own secret trying to find who did it. It was entertaining for sure for me." ~ TeenageDream1234
Thanks for listening...
"I never got over the trauma of a bad relationship 17 years ago. It has negatively impacted every aspect of my life and although I’ve seemingly bounced back a very long time ago. Anyone that knows me would be shocked at the level of despair and depression I’ve been in for years."
"No one would ever know everything looks good on the outside. At this point I can barely remember much about the guy — yet I feel like he defines my entire adult life. I’m stuck on the loss of what could’ve been. It has nothing to do even do with him at this point, it’s more of what he represented. Time I will never get back, mistakes I’ve made."
"I beat myself up over the time I lost, the opportunities I missed and for not being able to just pick myself up and fully move on. It’s very painful to face wasted time and yet to continue not to live in the moment. And the years decades of hiding and pretending like all is well is maddening. The pandemic has made me face this head on and it hasn’t been pretty being alone with my thoughts. Thanks for listening." ~ Due-Time-8151
"That I had the biggest crush on my best friend back during high school and about a year after or so. I’m pretty sure she’s connected the dots ever since I told her and my close group of friends that I’m bi, but we’ve never discussed it and I hope we never do. It’d just be kinda awkward and there’s no point doing so." ~ good-ol-beat
StayGIF by Leroy PattersonGiphy
"If my ex husband had only said once 'I love you and I don’t want to break up, let’s work on it,' I would have stayed married." ~ landofmold
Don't harbor shame. Shame is not a secret to hold. If you need help don't be afraid to ask. You're not alone. And tell the truth about love.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Sometimes it's time to stop the world for a few minutes, relax, and unwind. Slip into a warm bath or have a nice glass of wine on the side to really drive that comfort and relaxation home.
We work ourselves to death most days without any acknowledgment for the absolute limit to which we are pushing our bodies. With the world constantly swirling around us as this happens, it can feel a little like there is no respite.
That's why we need to learn things that really comfort us. About the world, about other people, whatever. We need some comfort to take so that we can bring some stillness into our crazy world.
Redditor lofisky asked:
"What are some very comforting facts?"
Here were some of those answers.
Thanks For Not Hating Me
"That dogs usually understand that you stepping on their tail is an accident."-CyanBlue78
"I hope so, since they’re always underfoot when cooking."
"Our prior dog was a chihuahua who lived to be 16, and no matter how many times he got stepped on would still stay underfoot when cooking."
"He must have figured the benefit of getting a scrap of food that wasn’t a vegetable was worth the risk."-EmperorPenguinNJ
Oh Well The Country Will Survive, So *Phew*
"Scientists highly doubt that yellowstone will ever have another supereruption. In fact, it's unclear if it even has enough magma beneath its caldera to erupt again at all, let alone have a supereruption."-thecyriousone
"That's good to know because this was a weird fear of mine as a kid, despite living no where close to Yellowstone and having never visited it."-BlackbirdKnowsAll
Use What Ya Got
"Sesame Street writes real life events into their plot lines a lot. For example when one of the actors died, they killed off his character and had an episode to teach kids about grief."
"One of the child actresses quit so she could go to college, and they had her character do the same and had a going away party for her on the show itself. It’s kind of heartwarming."
"Also Sesame Street has been on air for so long that there was an episode about that character’s mom being pregnant. The actress’s childhood was basically a wholesome version of the Truman Show."-Savitribaii
Do you already feel some of the tension beginning to lift out of your body?
"A study with rats showed that empathy is a shared trait among mammals. When two rats were tested with one being stuck in a plastic trap, the other rat usually became distressed and freed it really quickly."
"'The rescuers did not seem to have an ulterior motive for freeing their trapped cage-mate: they continued to do so even when the experimental set-up was changed so that the two rats would not be able to benefit from touching and interacting after the liberation.'"
"'Moreover, the plaintive calls of the trapped rat were too infrequent to suggest that the free rat acted simply to get some peace and quiet.'"
"They also did another test where the rat could choose between chocolate or freeing their trapped companion, they would free the trapped rat AND share some of the chocolate with them."
"'Most surprisingly, says Bartal, although the liberator could choose to eat all the chocolate before freeing their cage-mate, they were more likely to share.'"
"'“They were very generous. It is really impressive for rats,” says Bartal. “It would be impressive for people too.”'"
Great Now Let's Get Rid Of It
"In 1820, 94% of the world's population lived in extreme poverty. In 1990, 34.8%, and in 2015, just 9.6%. Within the last 100 years we've almost eradicated extreme poverty."
"Absolutely insane to think how long humans have lived on this planet and just how far we've come in the last 100 years."-PainAndAbel
Dyin' Ain't So Bad
"I’m sure it varies by person, but I went into brief cardiac arrest, and it was similar to falling asleep. When I came to, it was more 'that was it?' than anything."
"I did make some pretty significant changes in diet and exercise afterward. I even lost about 40 lbs! But the truth is there wasn’t any of the grand catharsis you see in movies."
"Even though I gained a change in perspective, there was no instant improvement in character or huge jump in maturity. It was more of a nudge in the right direction rather than a shove into the light."
"The experience is much more mundane than you’d think, but that’s the reason I believe it was so impactful. I didn’t stress about work as much."
"I didn’t worry about how people perceived me as much. Because I saw how it all ends, and it’s nothing to lose sleep over. So now after 2 years of progress, I don’t really lose sleep over anything. It’s nice."-FrostedBanner
Made Of Starstuff
"You are entirely composed of things that were forged in the bellies of long dead stars. It took billions of years to make the basic blocks from which you are built."
"You are not a passenger in this great universe, you are a reflection of its awesome, immeasurable, infinite possibilities."-The_Squiggy
A sigh of relief is already forming in your guts as you read each fact.
Ignorance And Want
"Overall, we humans are living in the most peaceful, most advanced, most rich world we have ever known."
"Of course there are pockets of violence, ignorance and want. The rest of us can use our gifts to help those in need. Don't give in to the merchants of despair."-Mokurai
More Positivity Needed
"Data has shown that, statistically speaking, crime is trending down. Studies have also shown that negative events stick out more to the human psyche because, evolutionarily speaking, that can help you survive."
"Sure, remembering the cute butterflies 50k years ago might have been pleasant to your ancestors. But is as useful as remembering that their friend got eaten by a bear that lived near that butterfly?"
"So while the world seems like it’s going to sh*t, that’s only because evolution has crafted your brain to remember negative events more prominently."
"And because of the rise of the 24/7, worldwide news cycle that brings you all of the terrible things happening across the planet in nearly real-time. The world is slowly but surely improving, little by little and day by day."-modsareflaccid
"My pet fish have a bedtime. To further explain, fish, like most animals, have a circadian rhythm. This means they generally need to sleep and be awake at around the same times every day."
"I see this quite easily in my fish tank because when I turn the lights off in the tank and room then come back 30 minutes later, the fish have fallen asleep."
"It is easiest to see in my neon tetras. Normally they are bright orange and blue and they are super active. But when they sleep they become almost transparent and they will sort of hover in the same spot."
"Eventually if I leave the light on enough they wake up but because I want them to be comfortable, I try to keep the lights off once they go to bed."-ET318
Perhaps the most comforting bit about all these facts? They quite literally keep the world running. So they're not just comforting, they're also necessary.
The world needs comfort to function.
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Everyone has an opinion and apparently that opinion is golden advice. (Two different things)
You can give opinions, but know what you're saying and sharing.
Advice is more... heavy. It's definitive.
So beware and take "advice" with a grain of salt.
Redditor PsychedelicAirFusion wanted to hear about the times other people should've just stayed quiet with their opinions, by asking:
"What's the worst advice you have received?"
I try to just give my thoughts. I always preface... "I just think," and then I alone own it. And if they don't agree, then no one is hurt. We can't live each other's lives.
Pain Managementhead feels GIFGiphy
"Surgeon - The pains I’m feeling are normal and he doesn’t need to see me until a follow up 6 months later and I can have my staples removed at any health clinic. I almost died from sepsis. It took 12 weeks to recover from this." ~ Valen258
Not the Fix
"Talking to a friend about some normal relationship problems, college age boyfriend-girlfriend, and she suggested getting pregnant to fix it and win all the arguments. (By way of poking holes in condoms after I said we weren’t into trying for a baby and he’s adamantly anti-child). She had a baby at 16 and I never judge anyone for having a kid that young, but I have an inkling of why and how she did it now. Also, after that red flag we did not remain friends." ~ saturnspritr
National Park visitors Center...
"Best and worst from same person. Wife and I hiked from our campsite to National Park visitors Center. It took us almost 2 hours with temperatures in high 90s F (30+ C). We saw no other hikers because no one else was that stupid. We were exhausted. Park Ranger told us we should always bring snacks (nuts, fruit etc) as water is not enough. That was good advice. Then suggested that I hike back on my own to get the car and return for my wife! Bad advice." ~ antmakka
"Don't study Computer Sciences. Everybody will do it, the market will be saturated and you will have a tough time finding a job." (my parents around 2010)." ~ CrystalButcher
"Ha! I got pretty much the same advice, but it was 'don't do computer programming; you're too personable. You should do sales."'
"It probably set me back 10 years doing sales jobs I hated until I got back into software development. Not sure why I listened to those people." ~ JohnBarnson
Know your worth...The Office Boss GIFGiphy
"Never ask for a raise. Your supervisor should be able to see if you are working hard and give you a raise when the time is right. SMH." ~ julianned32
See there? A lot of ruin. You don't have to take advice. Oh my... that is good advice.
WTF?Season 3 What GIF by On My BlockGiphy
“Just down a bottle of vodka and punch yourself in the stomach” - a friend when I thought I was pregnant." ~ Space-cash
"Don't do something if you're not good at it. Listen kid, that is so wrong you don't even know." ~ subscribe_for_facts
"Having perfectionist parents I was basically raised to believe this. I'm in my mid twenties and trying so hard to break out of it. It's given me a lot of resentment towards my parents for never letting me learn to do things I wasn't immediately good at or just trying new things in general." ~ Chanmanklein
“turbo boosters engaged”
"A friend told me that if I fart during sex, I could save face by saying 'turbo boosters engaged' and then pound faster and harder. Once I started having sex I realized how normal noises are and I stopped caring. But I guess he was just trying to be a bro." ~ Christophisatitagain
"Noises sure but don't fart on them during." ~ CaptainHindsight92
"When I went to college on the Pell grant, which basically covered the tuition for each semester and there was an extra $1000 left over for books and whatnot. Also available to me was a $5000 loan each semester, which I didn't need. After the first year, my father said "'take the loans too, if you get a civil service job, you can have the loans forgiven.' Fast forward 15 years and I still have $25K worth of student loans I never needed to take. :( " ~ odenwalder1
"My mom was persuaded"
"I was told by a guidance counselor as an incoming freshman (who didn't know me from anyone else, by the way) that taking more than one honors course plus being in band was too much. My mom was persuaded. I had to fight both of them to ignore the advice."
"I ended up taking every honors and AP course possible throughout high school, finishing with a perfect 4.0 GPA, then doing the same in college. Don't take advice on what you should or shouldn't do from someone who doesn't know you. Always take into account your personal strengths and weaknesses when considering any advice in life." ~ Kooky_Finding8516
MedsSeason 2 Nbc GIF by New AmsterdamGiphy
"‘Don’t go on meds, just exercise’ for depression. Meds ended up practically saving my life." ~ Introvertedpanda3
Let's all try to just live our best lives. That is not an easy mission.
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