Small towns make for the best stories, don't they? The ability of a small group of people to close ranks and pretend nothing happened is mystifying. See, I grew up in Manhattan - where there was no way small town style secrets were happening. We may not snitch to any authorities, but we absolutely know and we absolutely talk about it while we're in line to get a slice. New Yorkers know, we just tend not to care. We don't have time to judge or keep secrets for generations - we're busy checking the MTA to see where the f*@! our train is at.
Small towns, though... that's where the secretive magic happens. One Reddit user asked:
Whats a small town dark secret you know?
Get your popcorn, folks. There's enough murder and mayhem in here for a Tarantino film; and Satan makes an appearance more than once! Here are some of the more popular responses.
Arson And The Town's Image
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When I was a firefighter we had an arsonist in the city. They would walk around at night until they found a garage door that was left open, and then they'd start a fire in the garage. It did not matter if the residents were home or not.
We had no leads other than it was a college student, as there was a discernible pattern of the fires stopping during winter and summer breaks.
The police, fire department, and the highest levels of local government worked to keep the nature of fires a secret as they were worried about how it would impact the town's image. So, instead of telling people to close their garage doors at night, nearly 20 families lost their homes. The arsonist was never caught, and presumably is still lighting fires in some other town.
Satanic Lesbians?
The "Devil House."
Now, it had been around my hometown for decades. Enough different generations of kids had their own mythos. I had an English teacher that went to the same school in the late 80s. By then it was vacant but someone had painted a pentagram on the wall. You had to know where it was. Pull over on the old highway coming in to town at a certain point. There was no driveway or anything, but you could see a gate if you knew where to look. Then you go into the woods a bit and BAM, it almost appears out of nowhere on you. That's how well it was hidden. For the most part, every high school class would have a couple of people venture out to see it and leave their own small mark. Everyone was just sure Satanists or witches were meeting there occasionally.
But later, I found out the real story from my Dad. I'd asked him, but he didn't make the connection between that house's original purpose and the later myths until I showed him. The reason that hidden house was built was for a former wealthy farmer's lesbian daughter. Didn't have the heart to disown her, so he hid her away there in the late 60s. Because 60s, there were some wild parties out there and girls were "converted" to lesbianism (read, already knew damn well they were gay) so of course that small southern town assumed the devil was behind it.
The Makeout Mines
There are these old abandoned mines (as in mineral mines- think man-made caves in the side of a mountain) near my hometown town where kids used to go to smoke weed and make out before they put metal gates over them.
When I was in high school there was this huge thing where a cop went missing, car and all, while he was on-duty. He just didn't show up at shift change. (This was before gps and smart phones etc.) People thought he'd been killed by gang members or something (there were no gangs in the town but everyone was convinced that they came down from the nearest big city to do crimes).
Eventually they announced, they found him, accidental death, very sad. Wife & young kids etc.
What wasn't in the news, but everyone knew through word-of-mouth: he and another cop's wife were having an affair and they were found in his patrol car in one of the makeout mines, dead of carbon monoxide poisoning.
The Famous Addict
My hometown has a "famous" drug addict - i.e. everyone knows who he is, he's lived there for ~70 years and his crimes are town gossip. Most of the time it's small stuff: Stolen bikes (and once a canoe) that he just leaves somewhere, living in a park when he doesn't feel like going home for a few days, shit like that. He's mostly seen as a harmless, funny character. His brain is seriously damaged after hard drug use since his early teens.
What is rarely mentioned is that when he still had a house he used to steal dogs and beat them to death in his basement.
- DaJoW
"Accidental Shooting"
This was in a small town, generally run by a half dozen big family names that almost act like redneck mafia families / cartels. If you're related to one of those families, you can figuratively get away with murder... and sometimes quite literally.
Years back, one of the locals "R", was supposedly out deer hunting & drinking, and noticed a "not from around here" guy out horse riding in the woods. R just shot him and left him out in the woods to die... either for shits and giggles, or because the guy was "from California", as R likes to claim. He tends to gets drunk and brags about it frequently, so it's more common knowledge than a secret... nothing has ever been done though, since he's from one of the "big families" in the area, and is related to several officers, a former judge, and a decent chunk of the town. The cops never bothered investigating - just said it was an accidental shooting, and there was no evidence or suspects.
Same story they gave when some kids found a couple dead migrant workers in a drainage ditch behind the high school my senior year - cops just said "we'll never know" and that was it.
God, I hate that town.
Attacking A Pony
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A few months ago there was a brief media kerfuffle in the local papers about someone breaking into a barn and "attacking" a pony.
- JakeGrey
Sh*t In The Sink
I live in a super small town (see all the same people constantly). And back in the 80s there was a group of guys my mom went to high school with who were rumored to have killed this poor old man in town and rob his house blind of drugs and nice belongings. They got away clean except for one of the idiots decided to shit in the sink. The police collected the sample but at the time there wasn't the technology to find out who the shit belonged to. Well around 10-15 years later they finally had the technology and they tested that sample. They found out who it belonged to and the guy ended up in prison after getting away with it for so long.
Swinging Satanists
Back in the 80s they'd closed down the old middle school in my town and built a new one fairly close to it. Because the building wasn't that run down, they'd let the little league (grades 2-6) teams practice in the old school and leave big kids alone at the new school. I'm not really sure how, but a rumor started that there was a satanist club underneath the gym. People claimed they could hear chanting and loud banging noises from under the floor and it freaked everyone tf out so the school mostly stopped using it.
I found out the truth recently from my friend's mom. Apparently some locals ran a swingers club down there and she knew because went once just to see what it was like.
"I Heard The Gunshot."
At my high school, years ago, we had a kid commit suicide with a gun in the annex bathroom during school. It was awful and everybody was distraught that something like this would happen.
What they didn't tell people, which I know now because my parents were administrators at the time, is that the suicide was an accident. He hid a shotgun in the ceiling over a toilet and the investigators determined that the gun shot would was not that of someone who was intentionally trying to kill themselves. He also had more ammo and homemade explosive devices in his locker.
Basically, he was about to go ape shit on my school but shot himself trying to retrieve his weapon from the bathroom ceiling.
All of the news reports and letters sent home said that he was disturbed and sadly killed himself at school. My parents waited a few years to tell me but it gives me goosebumps to this day. I was in gym class, which was the closest room with people in it. I heard the gunshot.
- Pruzzy24
Technically Legal, Still Super Creepy
One of our high-school gym teachers does this thing where he sleeps with girls at their graduation parties (if they're of age).
A lot of people know about it. He's done nothing illegal that we know of, but it's super creepy considering he's their teacher from ~13-18.
The Cattle Fortune
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In my small town, three men stole an incredibly large amount of cattle and sold them off, making a small fortune.
They bought some land and built three houses for their families on it. After the construction of the homes and a few months had gone by somehow the police got wind that they were the perpetrators of the crime.
When they got wind of the investigation one of them went to the police to take the fall for all of them. He went to jail for over a decade and when he got out, his family and friends were waiting for him. His other two partners had ensured that everything with his estate was taking care of, that his kids and wife had everything they needed, and that his home always stayed in perfect condition. He took care of them, so they took care of him and his.
Now that he has done the time for the crime, they all live out on the same property together, each guy raising his own family and with a common large swimming pool for all of their kids.
The Pastor And The Grieving Mother
Married man has affair, rumor mill starts churning, both cheaters leave their spouses and run off together, leaving young children behind. Not terribly uncommon, I know. Slightly more unusual was the cheating woman was a grieving mother in our church whose son had recently died and the philandering man in question was our pastor.
Kidnapping Grown Men
In the last few years grown men have been disappearing off the street where I live. They vanish at very odd times of night, usually bar hours. People always excuse their disappearances as them getting drunk and trying to stumble home, falling in the lake/river or snowbank and just never getting found.
There was one man that they did find though - 3 months after his disappearance, in a lake town 45 minutes away from where he was last spotted walking on foot looking really drunk. They found him face down in a lake in an area where supposedly he had no relatives or friends.
Recently, a 20-something-year-old came out with a post on Facebook about how he was roofied at a bar in town. He's a big guy who was hanging out with all of his friends. His friends were getting ready to leave and they noticed him acting weird so they called an ambulance for him.
Some motherf*cker is out there kidnapping grown ass men in my area.
The Right Supplier
Knew a small town that was ruled by a cop whose son dealt drugs. People who were found in possession were punished hard, but if they managed to identify the supplier with a certain truck and a certain description they got let off and told forcefully to shut the fuck up. Was a country town. Lots of open space...
- [deleted]
Small Town Church
Used to go to a church in a small town. The pastor's son was a pedophile, there's no other way to say it. He was close to 30, and started dating a girl in the church when she was 13. They kept the relationship under wraps until she was about 17. They had sex in the church basement.
He got involved with the youth choir as a way to get friendly with the other underage girls. His parents knew about it the entire time. Pastor's son finally messed with the wrong girl and she got the law involved. When it got out, the pastor swept it under the rug and said that his son was very sorry and God had now made him a changed man, and begged the other churchgoers to forgive him.
He got caught two more times, each time the pastor insisting that he'd really changed this time. His son would put on this big show, crocodile tears at the alter, thanking everyone profusely for giving him another chance. Needless to say, our family hightailed it out of there quick.
I just caught word that he's in jail now for a probation violation. I'm sure he violated more than his probation.
No Electricity, Yes Chocolate
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An autistic man in his 70s lives in the centre of the village with no electricity or running water. He lives off ice cream and chocolate, and spends his days collecting wood to burn in his fireplace. He has no caretaker. Nobody does anything to help him all that often. Although it's not really a secret, because everybody knows...
Scared For Him
One of the ladies in a neighboring town has had 3 husbands die... All under "mysterious" circumstances. She comes from a very... Italian family. She's collected multiple multi-million insurance payouts, as well as inheriting multiple millions.
She recently started dating a friend of mine, who is just getting separated from his wife.
I'm scared for him. (Yes, I've mentioned it to him - he knew already)
Richie's Statue
There's a statue in my town that made for a man named Richie when he died, who was well known in our town.
The sort of "unspoken secret" is that in life, everyone knew him, and tried to avoid him because he wouldn't leave anyone alone. People let him do whatever he wanted since he was a bit challenged. He didn't understand boundaries or social conventions very well. As an example, he would walk behind bank counters when transactions were being processed, and people wouldn't say anything to him. He just kept talking to everyone. People avoided him, and talked how annoying he was, but in death, they dedicated a statue to him because they felt bad.
A Foreign Minor
The year before I moved here a man, who lived in one of the nicest houses in town, was discovered to have kidnapped and kept a foreign (I can't remember where she was from) minor captive.
She was able to escape and knock on doors to save herself.
I was told this by multiple people but have not been able to find any media coverage which isn't unusual. It's a very conservative area and there are reporting laws that protect children in media coverage as well.
- People Explain What Their Hometown Is Most Famous For - George Takei ›
- Kidnapping Survivors Share How They Escaped - George Takei ›
- People Divulge Their Darkest Family Secrets - George Takei ›
- People Divulge The Worst Things To Happen In Their Small Town... - George Takei ›
- People Confess How They Really Feel About Monogamy - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.