Cringey coworkers, we've all been there. The worst I ever encountered was a male associate at a higher end jewelry store. He was good, his sales spoke for themselves, he looked like a model, which perfectly showcased the touches of diamonds he wore. Really, he didn't need to suck up to be noticed as a good employee...but he did anyways and it came back to bite him.
He would gossip to bring other salespeople down and make them look bad. After sharing an especially personal and mean-spirited comment about another coworker I looked at him in disdain and said "I would hate to hear what you have to say about me when I am not here." He sputtered a bit trying to say something along the lines of how I was different etc.
The environment wasn't for me and I left although months later it turns out he was fired after trying to spread false and damaging gossip to a regional manager about the boss. He could have just been nice to people and gotten promoted his own merits instead of tearing people down.
It's such commonplace for these situations to occur one Redditor by the name of ActualWater1994 wanted to her more cringe-inducing stories.
They asked:
"What's the cringiest/ worst examples of butt-kissing you've seen at work?"
Reddit did not disappoint.
That came back to bite her!
“Part of my job is delivering children's books to some agencies to hand out. One month our executive director didn't like the book that came in. There were a couple lines she felt were inappropriate."
“She asked me not to deliver them and she would order new books. A coworker of mine noticed I didn't deliver them and took it upon herself to do it. The executive director doesn't care for her and she was trying to get on her good side."
“She thought she could make herself look good by making me look bad. I thought she went to lunch, had no idea she was out there trying to do my job. She came back and proudly tells others that she did my job and maybe now the director will be pleased."
"She came to my desk and angrily says, in earshot of the director, 'I just went and delivered the books that you never delivered. I shouldn't have to do your job on top of everything I'm already doing for this agency'. I just looked at her and said 'Well that was dumb'."
"She went to the director next and told her that she delivered the books since she seen it hadn't been done and asked if there were any other tasks she could do for her. The director was pissed!!! She was planning on returning those books so she could order different ones."
"They weren't labeled with our logo yet either, which she would have seen if she checked. It's required that we put our logo on them. The director tore into her for overstepping her boundaries and trying to make me look bad. She tried so hard to kiss her butt and it backfired big time. Oh and I was praised in front of her for listening."
Blatant butt-kissery...
“My boss sent me out to get her boss a birthday card and gift, which was all fine and good as it meant an escape from her for an hour or so. The card was nothing out of the ordinary, but the cake was very fancy and not your typical office birthday cake. I then had to swing by Tiffany's to pick up the bracelet that was the actual gift, just from her to her boss. Expensive gifts to colleagues let alone managers, were not the done thing there (and it wasn't even like it was a bank or anything high end) so it seemed horribly out-of-place and blatantly butt-kissing.”
No one likes a braggart.
“Had a coworker in my marketing team who was a lead designer. He was often pretty dismissive of junior level employees, or would try and one-up everyone's stories (you tell him you stayed at a hotel at the beach over the weekend, he tells you he stayed in a penthouse at the same beach for a whole week).”
“He also always tried to be in proximity of senior staff members and would brag loudly if they were within an earshot, hoping they would hear how awesome his life is, I would assume. One day, a VP from our company had come up to talk to somebody in a pod close to ours.”
“The pretentious designer loudly asked me about my weekend, I gave him an answer. He responded loudly, one upping my answer, noticed the VP wasn't paying attention to him at all, quickly got up, hovered behind the VP while he was talking to the other employee.”
“Eventually the VP cracked a joke and the designer let out the loudest, fakest laugh I've ever heard, startling the VP, who up until then was not aware that this guy was standing behind him. VP just got an awkward close lipped smile, quickly nodded his head, and walked away. Designer came back to our pod, sat down, and started working as if he was never mid conversation with me."
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"I just looked at him and kept walking.”
“I had this coworker at target that would go on the biggest power trip for no reason whenever he was on guest services. Guest services is the people usually at the front of the store where you do returns and stuff like that for anyone that doesn't know. We all would alternate doing it, and it was usually with a manager — there's literally nothing special about it besides that it was slightly more tolerable than being on a register."
“Whenever said coworker would be on guest services he would think he was manager and was the most unbearable person for the hour he would be doing it.
One shift I was walking to the bathroom, which you had to walk past guest services to get to, and he went out of his way to loudly ask me where I was going in that managerial tone I'm sure you're all familiar with as if he was a manager."
"I just looked at him and kept walking.He would do similar things like that to everyone and it was just the cringiest thing I've ever seen. I've never seen someone become such a kiss-*ss because they did a slightly different role from everyone else for an hour — and everyone did guest services like we literally just alternated throughout the shift."
No one wanted to work with him...
“Happened recently at work. One particular co-worker is almost insufferable with his behavior. Constant trumpet blowing with his lackluster work, endless comments about how much money he has, degrading other team members to get some kind of moral high ground and get in good graces with management."
“Whats more cringe is his posts and interactions on the team member WhatsApp group, really fake or cheesy crap that definitely is not his character at all. Basically everything that he does involves trying to sh*t on someone to look better at his job."
“Anyway, he thought he was top sh*t after one of the managers recently left and applied to take the advertised Duty Manager role. He was shut down almost immediately and apparently one of the night managers straight up told him that they did not want him to work nights due to nobody wanting to work with him."
Former Flat Earthers Explain What Finally Made Them Come Around | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
That’s the way the cookie crumbles...
“Other receptionist at my work is a huge *ss kisser. Calls herself head receptionist when she's really just a part-timer that doesn't do her job right. Will constantly have 'meetings' with the bosses and take credit for things other people do. Most recent example is when a client brought us donuts and left them at the front desk."
“I was in a room but heard the convo between the client and her about the donuts being a gift. Then heard her walk to the back and announce to our boss that she (receptionist) ordered them donuts because they work so hard"
They added the sweet ending to their coworker's donut deception in another comment.
"I walked into the breakroom when the boss was in there, pretended to see the donuts and went 'Oh! Mr C did stop by with those donuts after all!' My boss must've suspected something cause she got a look on her face but smiled at me and told me to add him to the thank you card list."
"I guess it got back to that receptionist that I 'tattled' on her because the next time she was in she critiqued me on a bunch of things. Most annoying trait about her though for me is when she talks to me, she hardly ever makes eye contact and will just stare at my arms (which have scars). Only me, no one else."
“Just be yourself.”
“My supervisor is always trying so hard to be best friends with management where I work, there are many examples to choose from but this one makes me cringe the hardest due to the sheer expense: my manager is a big lover of fresh coffee. So yeah, my supervisor spent a small fortune on a fancy coffee machine for herself, even though I remember having a conversation with her at one time about how she can't stand the taste of coffee.”
“She comes to work everyday with the branded travel mug that came with the coffee machine, but, instead of coffee inside it's extremely milky tea. I asked her about it and she uses the machine for hot water. Just be yourself, people would like you more god dang it all!“
Office baby shower...
“I work with a woman who threw a baby shower for a manager's (not her manager though) wife, thrown in our office. Meanwhile her equally pregnant ‘friend’ in the office was invited to the party but received no shower of her own or even an acknowledgement from the suck up.”
“Funny thing is everyone hates the manager so nobody really stayed longer than they had to. Also she tries to call us out for not getting gifts for for the manager on national boss's day as if him being paid more to f**k things up for us isn't enough already.”
Magic the Gatheing cards...
“One of my co-workers knew the branch manager was obsessed with magic the gathering, so he pretended to have 'connections' with someone at Wizards where he got 'free cards'. Turns out this guy was actually just buying the cards."
“One of my other co-workers saw him buying a booster box at a Walmart nearby. He was literally bribing the boss for favors with magic cards that he paid full price for. The sad thing? It worked."
“Everyone knew this dude got preferential treatment. When he f**ked things up, manager dude would always cover for him. He got promoted to a position he definitely didn't deserve over someone else who was way more qualified."
“We even tried letting bossman know that he was just buying the cards at the walmart nearby, but he didn't believe us. So yeah, a few thousand in magic cards got the buttkisser raises worth 5x that."
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Dating the boss's daughter, *mega-cringe*.
“The worst was a guy I worked with at my last job doing HVAC...because the boss was going to get a full report on whatever crew he worked with that day. If you said something negative about the boss, he was going to tell. If you were a minute or two late coming back from lunch, he had a pic on his phone with the time stamp."
"If you didn't hang something perfectly level or straight, he'd toss a level on it, snap a pic, send it to the boss. He also came in every Sunday and washed all the trucks (with no pay) to make sure we kept a good image. Found out eventually it had nothing to do with the job...he was just dating the boss's daughter and he was trying to 'prove' himself."
These are some serious cringe-inducing work moments. Sadly enough, most of the attempts would have gone over better if the person had just been themselves and worked together the first place. Others though, well, flattery can get you everywhere...
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Money and debt are my two biggest issues. Debt just keeps building if you don't get on it. I'm too afraid to call the student loan people. I'll do it tomorrow. Whoops...
MOST IMPORTANT!!!
Think About It Reaction GIF by IdentityGiphy"Mental health. It took me years to realize how much I've dissociated. It became how I deal with everything. There are so many unhealthy ways to live your life by ignoring mental health."
Check the skies...
"Terminal velocity."
"Birds crap at up to 26,000 feet, or 14000% higher than the CN tower. When was the last time someone got killed by falling avian feces? But no, seriously. I used to work on tall buildings and radio towers. I'm also afraid of heights, so while I was up there I'd work out out how fast various things would hit the ground to distract myself."
"Air resistance is a real witch, and rotational effects make it even slower. Pennies dropped off the tallest building west of the Mississippi, the one I was on top of, would barely break 22mph. Harking a loogie over was no worse to pedestrians than pigeons."
"It was only once I got into the tools I was using that there would be an injury. A 9/16 wrench dropped 900 feet might actually kill someone, if it hit them in the head just right. The 1-inch would kill someone most of the time. Needless to say all my tools were on loops, and undroppable."
- technos
"participate"
"Disassociation. Your brain is an incredibly powerful force and it can start working against your best interests so quickly while telling you that everything is fine."
"Thank you for this. I looked up dissociation in Google from this thread. I realize I have been struggling with both derealization and depersonalization in teens, and even now to some extent. I too think physical activities and activities I am really passionate about are the ones I "participate." I can say I have been a spectator to many years of my life and not feel my own experience. It is really strange, how do we come out of it??"
I'm scared to be honest...
"Mental and emotional abuse. Damn, I'm 36 and still trying to undo the damage done my whole childhood. The pain of beatings doesn't compare to how mental and emotional abuse screws with me every day in so many ways. And even stupid stuff. I go into fight or flight mode if my boss wants to talk to me. I constantly think my friends and my husband are mad at me or sick of me. I'm scared to be honest about my feelings sometimes because I don't want to be ridiculed."
Need Zzzz...
Stressed Episode 19 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"A severe lack of sleep. I have no longer been able to sleep at night for some odd reason, so my brain causes me to essentially pass out during the day."
Open your mouth...
Richard Kiel Smile GIF by James Bond 007Giphy"Take care of your TEETH. Unless you want to end up with a molar shattering one day and having to get a quadruple root canal."
Dear Doctor,
"Just got gallbladder surgery! I had a pain under my right ribs off and on. Then at one point it wouldn't go away and kept getting worse. Had an ultrasound and emergency surgery like two days later. I had a huge gallstone blocking my bile duct, and it would have ruptured. Yeah pain can come and go, but if it gets to the point where it is there all the time, go to the doctor!"
Love your skin...
"Strange skin growths. One of my wife's uncles was at a family gathering that was also attended by my BIL, an ER doc. The uncle mentioned that he'd had this odd growth on his leg for some time but hadn't bothered to do anything about it. Showed it to my BIL who adamantly advised him to get seen immediately. Uncle still took his time—too many other things to do or whatever. A year on an the man is just riddled with cancer. I don't think there's much to be done other than making him as comfortable as possible at this point."
Messages...
"Email. My kid almost lost the financial aid award because it's summer; I don't have to check my email. It was an intense hustle to get everything squared away and not lose that spot at college."
- awill237
"At the beginning of all the grad school classes I TA'd for I always ended the first day by asking, "Who here has a smartphone? Who has an email app on their phone? Who has their student email account synced with the app?"
"It was always all hands raised, all hands, two or three hands. I would make them set it up before they left. Checking your email in the morning and evening takes maybe 5 minutes on average unless you are a very important person in some organization who should really be checking more often!"
the long list...
list GIFGiphy"Headaches, skin cancer, tooth pain, kids, UTI which can turn into kidney infection, wound infection, bowel disease, debt, bad relationship."
The list is endless. So just start chipping away. Stay on top of it. Teeth and mind first. Stay calm.
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