We're all weirdos in our own right, but sometimes you catch someone doing something that REALLY has you doing a double-take. These people share stories of the weirdest thing they've ever caught someone else doing.
1/30. Walked in on my roommates injecting a syringe (no needle) of vodka into each other's butts. Open front door. Pants around one's ankles. Other one was forcing the syringe in. Deer in headlights look for both.
2/30. I was at a house party and we all crashed in the living room afterwards. I woke up early in the AM to get some water and as I am walking back to my couch I see my friend pissing on his wife as she sleeps on a recliner. She wakes up and says "Did you piss on me? Not again! You can't do this in someone else's house!"
3/30. A man on the subway casually took a halved lime out of his sock, squeezed the juice into his hands, rubbed it on his face and neck, and then put the half back in his sock as if nothing has happened.
4/30. I once saw a guy, with a camping grill in the passenger seat, making pancakes while driving his little Pontiac as fast as it could muster down a busy highway.
5/30. In middle school, I was kind of a nerd. I had a lot of clout with the teachers, and would often get handed their keys without supervision because they knew I wasn't going to cause trouble.
8th grade, after school, I needed to get into the science storage room for something. I couldn't find the teacher that normally had the keys anywhere - Mr. V. Anyway, I went up to the office and one of the ladies gave me the key.
I made my way back to the science room, and then to the back of the room where the storage room door was. I thought I heard giggling. I figured it was nothing, so I opened the door with the key. What I saw was the most bizarre display... I couldn't make it up if I tried.
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There was Mr. V, between the steel wire shelves, with his pants around his ankles, an Erlenmeyer Flask on his erect penis, and a test tube up to his forehead like a unicorn. He turned around and saw me, dropped the test tube (which shattered), and hopped to the back of the room, yelling "SHUT THE DOOR!!"
Needless to say I shut the door.
He resigned at the end of that semester. I don't know what the f*ck he was doing, but that image will be forever burned in my mind.
6/30. My friend used to like the smell of pencils. But not just plain pencils, pencils that had been in the oven for a while. It would be weird to walk into a room and he'd be sniffing hot pencils.
7/30. I was walking up to a friends place, and looked through the window and saw his roommate, sitting alone in the semi-darkness, chugging ranch dressing from the bottle. He saw me see him drinking it.
He put it down very quickly, and I went and knocked. The roommate answered the door, and I just pretended I hadn't seen him and never said anything about it to him to this day.
8/30. I walked into the bathroom at a bar and a guy was getting a bj while sitting in the urinal. Bare ass in the urinal.
9/30. I once saw an elderly woman at our storage unit. She walked in with a handful of letters and when she opened her locker there was nothing inside but a heap of unopened letters that was almost as tall as she was. We left before she did and she apparently had parked next to us, because there was a car that had the interior completely filled with mail. There was literally only a small space for the driver everything else all the way to the ceiling was mail.
10/30. I used to play with this one kid in my apartment building, and one time, I came by his place at the usual time, only to find him sniffing something/ dipping his fingers in and licking something in an old Ponds cold cream jar.
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I ask him what he's doing only to find his mouth covered in literal sh*t. This kid was pooping in the jar and then eating it. Safe to say I told his rather negligent mom and never hung out with him again. I was 8 years old and still get grossed out thinking about it 23 years later...
11/30. In college, I walked in on my roommate in the bathroom giving himself a nipple piercing with a paper clip.
12/30. My father saw this, but he worked at some Amish cheese factory or somethin', but one day he just saw a guy pick up some cheese and f*ck it. He just f*cked it like there was no tomorrow.
My dad refuses to eat any cheese. It's been 23 years since that happened.
13/30. I was the one who got caught... I was listening to a lot of DMX at the time and was practicing barking like him and practicing his raspy voice in what I thought was an empty room in my office. My coworker pokes his head around the corner and says "are you...barking?"
I was.
14/30. Park ranger here. Part of my responsibilities are to lock bathrooms after the parks close. Walked into a single stall bathroom to find a small, approximately 50 year old man in this bathroom. He was 100% naked, staring into the mirror, vigorously beating off. As soon as I walked into the room, he turned around, looked at me, then turned back to the mirror and continued.
Had no idea what to do. They don't train you for this sh*t.
15/30. I used to deliver pizza in Seattle, downtown. Cool job, got to know the whole city. As you probably know, it rains here often.
There's a stretch of old highway 99, aka Aurora Ave, just barely North of downtown where the road starts to change from a highway into a city street. Old hotel there that has too many stories for comfort. Also, importantly, a dip in the road over by the curb where rainwater would pool during heavy precipitation.
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Puddle Man would stand right there, on the corner, in the rain. Right next to the fast moving highway and the large pool of rainwater on the road. We saw him all the time. Puddle Man wore a yellow rain slicker with the hood up. Sometimes he was under an umbrella. You know, because he didn't want to get rained on. Pretty sensible. Oh, except he forgot to button the rain slicker up. And he forgot to wear pants.
Puddle Man would stand right there for hours, in the perfect spot to get COMPLETELY SOAKED by the huge bow waves of water that would be splashed up by all the cars driving past. Calmly, facing the street, no expression on his face, rain bouncing from his hood or umbrella. Just letting the waves wash over him as car after car fwoomed through his puddle.It was weird, but it was awesome. It looked fun! I and the other pizza drivers would swerve toward him a little, just to get deeper into the dip and make a bigger wave. I almost knocked him off his feet during one particularly heavy downpour. I like to think that he appreciated that. He never seemed to get tired of it.
16/30. I was caught by one of my employees at work... eating a bag of cheetos with chopsticks. I thought the lack of orange fingers was brilliant...
17/30. I was waiting in my car to pick up my boyfriend from campus and a guy was making his way across the otherwise empty sidewalk gesticulating wildly while conversing angrily with a squirrel.
The squirrel was following him and every few feet he turned around to yell at it. It would stop and listen but every time he tried to walk off the squirrel resumed following him and the whole cycle would start over. It was amazing. I'll never forget it.
18/30. A little girl in tears was screaming at an owl to bring her mommy back.
19/30. I walked in on my sister completely naked, wearing only flippers and a snorkel. IN WINTER.
20/30. Worked at a factory, was taking a dump, opened the stall door when I was finished and I see this coworker who was kind of a nutty older guy. Anyway we had these big round metal fountain style sinks in the middle of the floor. So he is standing there wearing his work pants and his shirt is off and he is fully lathering up his whole body with soap and water. I'm just looking at him like what the f*ck?
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More stories of catching someone in the weirdest act on the next page!
Finally I say, "We can't shower in here man."
Turns out a hydraulic hose had burst soaking him in fluid. He was just trying to clean it off while someone fetched a company picnic t-shirt from a box in the office that he could wear home.
It was really funny though, I really thought he had finally cracked.
21/30. I was in the bathroom at work when a man maybe in his 30s or 40s entered. While I was washing my hands he cupped his under the automatic soap dispenser, filled them with soap, and put the handful of soap into his mouth. He just kinda swooshed it around before swallowing it, doing that satisfied lip smack thing, and walked out of the bathroom.
22/30. I caught somebody walking in on me masturbating.
23/30. Caught my brother making out with a poster sized photo of Marilyn Monroe.
24/30. 10-11 yr old boy jacking off in the frozen section of a grocery store.
25/30. Not necessarily in the act but scrolling through my amazon fire sticks photos, which all of my families kindles and amazon products are connected, found nude pictures of my brother that he didn't realize got uploaded to the cloud...
More stories on the next page!
26/30. I work for the fire department and we had to cut off a stick shift handle of a manual transmission car because a girl tried to masturbate on the "T" handle stick shift and got stuck on it. It was real tough to keep a straight face throughout.
27/30. Was at some beach when I was like 10 years old, walked into the change room / toilets to find some naked 60 year old man standing on top of some benches slathering shampoo all over his body. I just 180'd it out of there and told my brother to go inside, he came out with the biggest "WTF" face ever.
28/30. Got an apartment with a guy I knew from high school. I walked in on him painting my bicycle with a paintbrush. "What are you doing with my bike?" I asked. "Oh it's yours? I found it in the back porch.. I was going to sell it." He retorted. "You can't sell my bike!" ----"Don't worry, I'll split the money with you."
29/30. Friend of mine spent the night. He woke me up because he was humping the spare mattress. I acted like it wasn't happening. A year later, he stayed over again. I was playing Star Wars Galaxies and he was on my bed watching 2 Fast 2 Furious. Dude started humping the mattress again. While I was maybe 3 feet away and still awake.
Like I had better movies to hump a mattress too, man.
30/30. Caught my step brother once. Had his ankles by his ears, a**hole in the air. He had caked himself in baby powder and was farting, laughing at the clouds that it made.
He was 15.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.