Gatorade: The Love Quencher! 

I liked a boy in the seventh grade. Every day I would buy a Gatorade and pretend I couldn't open it and ask him to. One day I did open and panicked. I tried to close it again as tight as I could and give it to him to open it for me. He called out on how easy it was to open and looked like it had already been opened. I wanted to climb under the bleachers. medicalprofessional1

Woof! 

I asked her out by parking outside her house and writing it on the windows of my car in car chalk. She sent the dog outside and said "You should leave. My dog is outside he's pretty mean." discoslimjim

You didn't happen to steal that chalk from your work did you? A coworker of mine told me a similar story. Harry_Potthead

You should have said "Ok, lets see the dog then." It will display your dominance and value as a man. Shadow_Of_

There is persistence and then there is crazy! 

(I was young!) Called crush's phone every 60 seconds for an hour (no answer, repeat). I figured she'd pick up once she got home and I wanted to talk to her ASAP. Unfortunately, she was on the phone with someone else the entire time, getting the "you have another call" notifications about incoming calls, just wasn't responding to them. After about the 60th time she picked up and screamed WHAT!?!?!?!?! and I tried to worm out of it like it wasn't me that had just called her over and over and over. She didn't buy it of course. This one still keeps me up at night 30 years later. catthedd

That was your best plan?

My crush was a kid who lived down the block from my house. I stole his dog from his yard and then went to his front door to return it and get to talk to him. He said he saw me take it. sociallyineptmilk

So how is witness protection working out for you? fuqmook

Yes, he is watching and thinking 'WTF is she doing with the dog'... then it becomes clearly uncomfortable. Once_An_Optimist

Good to know another language. 

We had a foreign exchange student my Freshman year of High school.

She was French and absolutely gorgeous, so naturally, all of us boys were smitten with her. She was in choir and sang really well, so I figured since I was a musician as well, that was my "in" with her.

So, I busted my butt and learned a love song from a very popular French Opera. It took me a really long time to memorize and I thought it would be a bold gesture. So, I sang it to her flawlessly and asked her how she liked it, thinking that taking the effort to learn a love song in her language would be a great gesture.

Well... That day, I found out that she was Swedish, not French. I'm stupid. Chingparr

Don't runaway...

In kindergarten, I proposed to my crush by yelling across the playground. Uh... didn't get an answer back.

In high school, I got some presents for my (different) crush's birthday (barely talked to her in person because I was painfully shy, but always talked to her on AIM) Went up to her awkwardly with a red face, gave her the presents, said happy birthday and walked away immediately out of sheer embarrassment.

She told me later she liked the gifts. strangehobbies

What happens in Fight Club... 

In 12th grade I had a huge crush on this guy in one of my classes. I knew his favorite book and movie was Fight Club, so I Googled everything about it (along with watching the movie). On Valentine's Day, I sent him a card that said I want to have your abortion and gave him my phone number. PregnantMexicanTeens

This made me choke on my f**king juice thank you for that laugh! DefenderoftheSinners

And it didn't work?

That would've worked stupendously on me - especially considering that that's one of my favorite lines. Bonus points cos it's from the book, you definitely did your homework at very least... InfectedByDevils

Never not try... 

Sheepishly handed her a letter and ran away in like 10th grade that would have been like a D- rambley mess in speech form that basically said "Hey you're cool want to hang out sometime?" in three paragraphs because I was nervous as all hell and didn't know how to people.

Funny thing is that she brought it up again in senior year and asked if I wanted to catch a movie or something.

In the letter, don't really remember. She (Her family) had some horses and I remember mentioning that and asking her if she wanted to hang out sometime outside of the context of the horses.

When she brought it up senior year, that's around when I was finally learning how to people so I was able to laugh about it and say sure, give her my number. And by my number I mean my parents number because this was before cellphones were really a thing (Like 2005). She ended up leaving me a voicemail, played phonetag a bit, movie thing didn't work out and I don't remember exactly why but we just never ended up doing anything. Didn't have any opportunity to hang out in school either, only had one study hall together for one quarter and no common classes senior year. dkf295

There are no accidents! 

Once I was was 14 I "accidentally" sent a picture of me in a super fancy dress to my crush because I wanted him to ask me to the dance. remyrf

I did something similar: I took in actual physical prints of photos of myself doing what I thought were sexy poses. For some reason, I did these poses in striped rain-boots [edit: and a men's button down shirt as a dress] in my wood-paneled basement... and then at school I "dropped" the pictures out of my bag in front of my crush. He helped me pick them up and didn't have much to say about it, so I just shoved them back into my bag.

At some point during the rest of the school day, they must have fallen out of my bag. I didn't notice. About a week later, this girl brought half of the pictures to me and said something like, "These were on a bench in [park in the neighboring town], I thought you might like them back."

I have many times imagined what their mortifying journey to that park must have been like. I never got the other half back - someone might still have prints of me at 13 posing in rain-boots.

It was an embarrassing and edifying experience. Now I'm just really glad that I didn't have cellphone picture messaging at the time or the pictures could have made it a lot further than just the park in the neighboring town. outlawforlove

Stop Staring! 

High school. I brought a mirror to school so I could stare at the guy on the down-low, except he immediately noticed and pointed it out to his buddies sitting next to him. Then at break time he told me to stop staring at him, and subsequently avoided me like the plague.

Felt bad, man. JustAnotherLemonTree

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