
In a perfect world, those who are closest to us wouldn't hurt us so deeply. The opposite seems to be true, however. Other times, other people say things seemingly out of the blue that can have devastating effects on another individual's health and well being.
Today's burning question came from Redditor Sarah_Rosa, who asked the online community: "What i the most painful thing someone has ever told you?"
Warning, some sensitive material ahead.
38.
I remember seeing my uncle in the waiting room of emergency. I was taking a bus to see my mom after surgery, and he wanted to intercept me before I got up to her room. My uncle had clearly been crying. He sat me down and told me that my mom had terminal cancer.
37.
For the last few months my girlfriend of 2 years has been in between jobs and I've been helping her find something new. In the mean time I've been paying all her bills. Last week she broke up with me because she couldn't handle the guilt of her cheating on me for the last 2 months.
36.
I have ulcerative colitis. A few years ago it nearly killed me. I went from 210 lbs to 110 lbs at 6' tall. I had 1/3 the red blood cells of a normal male. I was always tired, always winded. Bleeding profusely from my intestines. The doctors were amazed I was still conscious let alone walking. I had to literally run to the toilet every 15-20 minutes. There was no holding it, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't live my life and go do the things I loved in fear of sh!tting myself.
My dad constantly berated me for being lazy for missing work, which was still a rare occurrence. Driving to work was a gamble of hoping I didn't get stuck in traffic. It happened a few times. I'd call my boss tell him I had to go home and I'd be in a few hours late. Go home and shower wash my clothes out and get dressed and go back.
One time it happened my dad was sitting on the computer right inside the front door. He asked me why I was home and I told him. He said, "How the hell could you do something like that? That's disgusting." With a look of just pure resentment and disgust on his face.
35.
"I don't love you anymore, I love him, maybe not as much as I have loved you but I will, in time I will love him even more"
Most painful thing she ever said. it still hurts me to this day and this happened almost 2 years ago.
34.
My mother wrote me a letter, detailing how I was a waste of flesh, I was a disappointment to everybody, She should have had me aborted...yada yada yada.
Anyway carried it around in my wallet to remind me to prove her wrong and what a horrible person she was.
I told her about where I kept it, said if she ever used me as an excuse for her rampant alcoholism again I'd show the rest of my family.
Few years later it went missing at a family gathering, along with my wallet.
33.
"The growth is not benign."
The "not" made it even more of an emotional rollercoaster, as your expectation (what you want to hear) is that your fear has not come through, so I expected the "not" to be followed by a different word.
32.
"I just needed someone"
Said by my then-girlfriend the day before she broke up with me via text. I was so madly in love then, and thought it was mutual. She had a new boyfriend 3 weeks afterwards.
It was years ago but I still haven't felt right about myself since then. I always feel like I'm just a "someone" in every relationship. Maybe I'm a little extra dramatic because I recently got dumped in the same fashion, by a girl I was madly on love with who told me she could talk to me about things no one else seemed to understand. New boyfriend in less than a month. And yet again, I'm just a "someone".
I can't shake it off. It's getting old.
31.
"He left because he didn't care about you."
What my aunt told me when my dad abandoned me while I was going through chemotherapy at age 10. That's not something I needed to hear.
30.
"I am sorry, there is no heartbeat" at 9 months pregnant, 7 days before my due date...
Nothing else comes close for me.
29.
Nothing. After telling my best friend how much she meant to me silence was the response that I never would have thought would be the most painful.
28.
"I'm so sorry, I truly feel as though I've failed you as a mother", my beautiful mum said in tears when she found out how incredibly suicidal I was and had a nervous breakdown in front of her. She certainly hasn't failed me, we have our ups and downs but she is the best mum I could ask for. I felt like I failed her as a daughter when she said that.
27.
My mother: "I wish you'd never been born."
I reacted with "I don't want you to be my mother then." I ended up not talking or seeing her for over five years.
26.
To be honest, the most painful thing didn't need to be said. We all knew.
It was Mother's Day. I was 35 weeks pregnant, and getting prepared to go to my maternity shoot. I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, and had my husband take me to the hospital to reassure me that everything was okay. I knew the second she put the Doppler on me, that my worst fears were about to be realized.
Tears started to flow from me, and the (now panicked) nurse was trying to reassure me that sometimes a heartbeat can be hard to detect depending on baby's position, and that they were going to get me into an ultrasound immediately. She was holding back tears. I knew. I just knew.
They wheeled me into a dark room with a large screen. I saw the ultrasound of my son's lifeless body. Every nurse in the room started to weep. "I'm so sorry" was the only thing I can distinctly remember hearing. Everything is a blur. It was a f*cking nightmare.
25.
The dead, awful silence was worse than anything else.
"Dad, you made me. What is my favorite color? My favorite food? What is my girlfriend's last name? Why don't you know anything about me?"
"I made mistakes, son."
"I'm not dead or missing, dad. I'm right here, in front of you. My whole life I wanted to be here just once because you wanted me here. All you had to do was make the slightest effort. Why am I the black sheep? What did I do so wrong as a son that you never wanted me?"
"..."
24.
"I can't let you talk to her."
The words I heard while I was in tears calling my mom asking to talk to my Grandmother, who I had found out had passed the day prior... through condolence wishes on Facebook.
23.
Growing up I was very shy and socially anxious. When we would go out places my dad would constantly say to me, why are you so rude, why don't you just talk to people?
For years my dad would just constantly say, what is wrong with you, why can't you just be normal and talk? What is your problem?
Which just led to me being even more self conscious, withdrawing even more, which led to my dad getting even angrier and the cycle worse.
Ended up developing terrible self esteem and depression as a teenager and am now 26 years old and having terrible relationship skills because I have such hard time opening up and trusting people.
22.
"You haven't been a very good son" For context my parents are going through a stupidly complicated and messy divorce.
Me and my dad were arguing over the phone and I was calling him these terrible names and said he couldn't believe I would say those things to him.
So I said "the reason I'm able to say those things is because you're not a good dad."
I explained to him that I never felt a strong connection or relationship with him; we never bonded or talked or had moments, he would just sit at the tv, watch football and eat potato chips. That's when he said I haven't been a good son.
21.
"I didn't want to hurt his feelings"
I was emotionally abused and manipulated by my best friend, and cousin, for years. She constantly used me as a means of taking out her anger and sadness from her personal life. Constantly came to my house to escape from her parents, used all of our electronic devices to talk to men she met online until five in the morning, yelled and screamed for me to always be with her to make her feel safe.
I always tried my best to comfort her and make her feel ok. I was always trying to be understanding and give her what she wanted. One day a boy got involved, he and I became a "couple". He used me to try to win the heart of my cousin, because he wanted to show her how great of a guy he was when dating me (ie. Buying my gifts, going out to dinner) In the end he cheated on me multiple times and lied to my face about talking to my cousin behind my back. When I found out that she had known he was lying to me and confronted her about why she didn't tell me, she said:
"I didn't want to hurt his feelings"
This was the biggest eye opener I experienced in my life. She did not care for me in the same way I had been there for her and put the feelings of some man between us. The relationship between her and I has been strained to this day, and there isn't a time where I can be in the same room as her without having to feel like I will always mean so little to her and bitter because I never received an apology. She's simply given excuses stating that she was young and didn't know any better. The words still hurt me to this day and she has no idea as to why it does.
20.
My childhood best friend and me grew up in a small town and ended up getting a our first flat together and he was very out going and loved his dirt bike.
As time went on he stopped socializing and would and spend a lot of time sitting in his parents garage avoiding the world. One morning he said I will see you in a few days going down south for work which he was a few days pass and his dad knocks on the door in a panic and asked if I have heard from will change his name to Sam and I could tell something serious has happened because he's missing.
I jump in my car to make the 4 hour drive down to were he was last seen with work a hour into the drive I had a feeling and knew he was dead hard to explain pulled over to side of road and decided to head home when I arrived his mum arrived she said he was found with a self inflicted gunshot wound to his head.
But the bit I got told by his uncle a year later that I constantly think about every day for the last 20 years is he was found about 200 meters from the gun he shot himself with that he didn't die straight away but started trying to go and get help can't imagine what he was going through breaks my heart.
19.
I was being a typical kid at 11 or 12 years old. My mom was very physically and verbally abusive. I thought she was going to hit me for something (I don't remember what I did) but she just lit a cigarette, stood at the kitchen sink looking out the window and said, "Maybe you'll end up in jail and someone's b!tch." I didn't understand what it meant back then, but it was something that always stuck with me.
When I came out she told me, "I think it's disgusting," and hung up on me. We didn't speak for almost a year. I called her out of the blue one day and she acted like nothing had happened. Over the next few years I did some self help stuff and tried to tell her how she had affected me, but she just copped out with, "I did the best I could." It was then I realized we probably never come to terms with each other.
18.
"i don't need you treating me like my dad." - an ex friend comparing me to her abusive father after i sat her down to talk to her about her unhealthy coping mechanisms because i was concerned about her. our relationship never was the same after that.
17.
I suffer with bipolar, thought I'd met someone who understood (they said they did). After destroying myself to give her everything, putting on fronts every day she wanted to go out with her friends etc and dragging me along to which I kept putting on a amiable facade which she never appreciated.
one day I was too low to do anything, I'd spent 2 days in bed just staring at a wall, not eating, seeing, showering, she asked me to go out with her friends again, when I asked if she really thought that was a good idea she hurled a load of abuse at me, threw some stuff at me but the worst thing was when she told me I was f---ed up in the head, incapable of love and that nobody could ever really love me.
Fast forward 3 years I left her and met a truly amazing woman who not only appreciates that things can be bad sometimes she truly loves me regardless. My mood swings even seem to be far less frequent. Although at the time what the other ogre said to me cut Dee over time it become a nothing comment, my new partner helped me realise that. I hope everybody else who comments on here feels better now than they did at the time, chin up guys!
16.
I came home from school and mum told me I needed to go see my nana (my best friend) she was in the hospital dying. We sped 2hrs in the car to the hospital ... I jumped out of the car and sprinted and sprinted down all the long hallways of a hospital I'd never seen ... I made it to the door looked in and saw lots of people looking at her, I see her eyes roll back and someone says "You've just missed her."
I leave to the hospital carpark, someone is playing their radio very loudly song by the Black Eye Peas "Tonight's gunna be a good night."
15.
My brother was caught shoplifting when we were kids. When they asked his reason, it was because he said he wanted to play with me. It still hurts to this day because I usually keep to myself. It's hard being open for me.
As an adult, a lady I asked out reported me and when they questioned her, they said she was sorry for leading me on. Cut deep.
14.
"You're the middle child, you have it the easiest. No one cares about you anyway"
My mom told me when I was 13.
13.
"If you disappear like that again I will not look for you. Do you understand? I will let you go"
My ex wife after she found me after I tried to kill myself.
12.
Growing up I was very shy and socially anxious. When we would go out places my dad would constantly say to me, why are you so rude, why don't you just talk to people?
For years my dad would just constantly say, what is wrong with you, why can't you just be normal and talk? What is your problem? Which just led to me being even more self conscious, withdrawing even more, which led to my dad getting even angrier and the cycle worse.
Ended up developing terrible self esteem and depression as a teenager and am now 26 years old and having terrible relationship skills because I have such hard time opening up and trusting people.
11.
Probably not as bad as losing someone but for me it was devastating. Long story short when I was in the army the pain in my leg wasn't a pulled muscle. It was a blood clot. I went to the base hospital and they told me that I had to give myself injections in my stomach (no big deal, I was a medic) to make it smaller. I had to also avoid physical activity that could cause it to get loose which could cause it to go to my brain or lungs which could be fatal. I was literally about a 3 weeks out from deploying to Iraq.
The doctor tells me that I won't be able to deploy with the unit. I was crushed because I had worked really hard preparing for this deployment and was promoted to a position I had been aiming for for quite a while. I was going to be a line medic with an infantry unit. I had spent the entire year training with my platoon and worked my way into a position of trust and confidence. Not one single leader in the platoon I was assigned to would call me "Doc".
They addressed me by my name and rank. But eventually they say what kind of medic I was and even the hardened combat vets started to call me Doc. Not only was I proud but the entire medic platoon was as well. I felt like my guys knew they could count on me and now I wasn't able to go and they had to work with a replacement that they didn't know.
Anyway I was told that I would most likely be able to rejoin my unit in a few months. That's fine because I could avoid all the bullshit that happens the first month or two on deployment while you set up your shop and get your gear sorted out. But that didn't happen.
During some blood tests the doctors discovered that I had a rare medical condition that made my blood much more likely to clot like this and were quite surprised I never had one before. They put me on blood thinners and I was told I would no longer be able to serve in the army if I was on blood thinners.
That's like one of the few medications you can't be on in the Army. 12 years in with 8 or less (my retirement points were getting high because of the war) to go for full retirement down the drain. Not only was my career over and I had to restart my life at 36 but pretty much all I left with was the money I had in the bank. Not even a hearty handshake since everyone I knew was in Iraq.
And I never heard from any of them again. I've never heard from anyone I was in the Army with ever again. And now for the rest of my life I need to go to the hospital and have a vial of blood drawn and tested every month. Sometimes more if I forget I have a test and drink a couple of beers a day or two before it.
10.
"You haven't been a very good son" For context my parents are going through a stupidly complicated and messy divorce.
Me and my dad were arguing over the phone and I was calling him these terrible names and said he couldn't believe I would say those things to him so I said "the reason I'm able to say those things is because you're not a good dad."
I explained to him that I never felt a strong connection or relationship with him; we never bonded or talked or had moments, he would just sit at the tv, watch football and eat potato chips. That's when he said I haven't been a good son.
9.
This happened very recently, so it still hurts a lot, but maybe for the purpose of this thread is better like this: My crush told me that not only she didn't like me, but that she only was my friend because she pitied me.
I was making good progress in trying to attenuate my depression, but because of this not only I'm back to square one, but I also lost my hope in ever making progress again. Honestly I still regret not killing myself that night.
8.
That one of my exes, one I was in a serious relationship with a few years prior, had been brutally murdered.
My dad called and told me. He saw it on the news. He confirmed her name and address with one of the local TV stations to make sure it was her, and it was.
7.
When my ex cheated on me, it was painful. It was a LOT more painful when I asked her for how long this had been happening.
Turns out they were at it for a couple of months already. The fact that it wasn't just a one time mistake but also emotional cheating, hurt like hell!
6.
I was working the tills on a busy Friday night in the local fish and chip shop. My boss grabbed my arm and took me out the back. He was grey and told me something bad had happened. He had tears in his eyes and I thought something happened to my dad who was sick at the time. He brought me outside to my auntie. She drove me home and told me my 14 year old cousin had hung himself that night. I didn't believe it so walked back to work and tried finishing my shift.
I still remember how you looked at me the day before, at the bus stop, when you said goodbye. I wonder if you knew it really was goodbye. It's been just over 2 years and I still cry for you, Patrick. My heart will always miss you wee man
5.
I've always struggled with my weight and have a lot of self confidence/mental issues due to it. When I met my current boyfriend in person after a year of online talk, he relayed to me that I was "fatter than he expected". He didn't have any malice behind it since he's supportive of me and great but those words still come back to me every now and then.
It's funny because I used to have a presence online before I met him and the number one thing people would target me for was my weight. I got used to it but his comment still felt like a hot blade.
4.
had a friend who had a rocky relationship with her dad. She was once telling me about a friend she knew who was abused by her father and a sudden look of revelation came over her face.
I asked her what she was thinking about. She responded, "I just realized how lucky I am. My dad could have hit me a lot harder than he did."
She sounded grateful when she said it, and I tried to pretend it hadn't broken my heart.
3.
When I was a kid my parents got me a kitten. Life circumstances changed shortly after, we became very, very poor. My dad slipped into a depression he never really came out of and turned quite abusive.
The cat really hated him after that. Started sh!tting in his shoes and attacking him. I went to school one day and came home and the cat was gone and my parents told me he ran away. I spent years looking for him when I went outside to play, and cried when the weather was bad because I imagined him out in it somewhere.
My mum casually told me over the phone late last year that she thinks my father killed it. She said he took the kitten into the woods and came back alone and then nobody saw the cat again.
I feel sick whenever I think about it. That cat deserved better.
2.
My best friend (of 10 years) was diagnosed with epilepsy almost 3 years ago, she knew she had it but didn't feel like treating it, about a year ago (after an argument we didn't talk for a year) I finally spoke to her again and her first words to me were "I'm sorry, what's your name again?" I had to step away and sob.
The seizures had done so much damage to her brain, she had no memories we shared together, she didn't remember my name or anything. It truly broke me to bits. I'm now left with the memories and the ptsd from all of her seizures (anytime someone even twitches, I have a full panic attack) and she got to leave those memories and me behind and become a new person.
1.
"Grow up and get help. We're done, now move on. If this continues, I'll go to HR."
I remember every word like it was yesterday. She was one of my best friends until that point. She wanted to date and I didn't. I tried to set boundaries. She wanted to come over to my house alone. She wanted to take a vacation together. She wanted to have sex. No. No. No.
Despite everything, we were friends. And she had the audacity to talk like I'm the ahole.
Still hurt though.
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
Don't ask...
A Late Run
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
TopOcelot13
Beefed
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
TheRockMan31
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
livesarah
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
apocalypticradish
Yummy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
Nobody_Wins_13
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
Rhalellan
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
tikkichik21
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
Brendanlendan
Go
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
Caramel_Cappucino
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
L8NiGHTFLiGHT
second time...
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
olivinemultichrome
Gross
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
barontayto
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
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Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"

These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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