'I Love Your Sister More Than You' And Other Brutal Things People Have Been Told

In a perfect world, those who are closest to us wouldn't hurt us so deeply. The opposite seems to be true, however. Other times, other people say things seemingly out of the blue that can have devastating effects on another individual's health and well being.
Today's burning question came from Redditor Sarah_Rosa, who asked the online community: "What i the most painful thing someone has ever told you?"
Warning, some sensitive material ahead.
38.
I remember seeing my uncle in the waiting room of emergency. I was taking a bus to see my mom after surgery, and he wanted to intercept me before I got up to her room. My uncle had clearly been crying. He sat me down and told me that my mom had terminal cancer.
37.
For the last few months my girlfriend of 2 years has been in between jobs and I've been helping her find something new. In the mean time I've been paying all her bills. Last week she broke up with me because she couldn't handle the guilt of her cheating on me for the last 2 months.
36.
I have ulcerative colitis. A few years ago it nearly killed me. I went from 210 lbs to 110 lbs at 6' tall. I had 1/3 the red blood cells of a normal male. I was always tired, always winded. Bleeding profusely from my intestines. The doctors were amazed I was still conscious let alone walking. I had to literally run to the toilet every 15-20 minutes. There was no holding it, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't live my life and go do the things I loved in fear of sh!tting myself.
My dad constantly berated me for being lazy for missing work, which was still a rare occurrence. Driving to work was a gamble of hoping I didn't get stuck in traffic. It happened a few times. I'd call my boss tell him I had to go home and I'd be in a few hours late. Go home and shower wash my clothes out and get dressed and go back.
One time it happened my dad was sitting on the computer right inside the front door. He asked me why I was home and I told him. He said, "How the hell could you do something like that? That's disgusting." With a look of just pure resentment and disgust on his face.
35.
"I don't love you anymore, I love him, maybe not as much as I have loved you but I will, in time I will love him even more"
Most painful thing she ever said. it still hurts me to this day and this happened almost 2 years ago.
34.
My mother wrote me a letter, detailing how I was a waste of flesh, I was a disappointment to everybody, She should have had me aborted...yada yada yada.
Anyway carried it around in my wallet to remind me to prove her wrong and what a horrible person she was.
I told her about where I kept it, said if she ever used me as an excuse for her rampant alcoholism again I'd show the rest of my family.
Few years later it went missing at a family gathering, along with my wallet.
33.
"The growth is not benign."
The "not" made it even more of an emotional rollercoaster, as your expectation (what you want to hear) is that your fear has not come through, so I expected the "not" to be followed by a different word.
32.
"I just needed someone"
Said by my then-girlfriend the day before she broke up with me via text. I was so madly in love then, and thought it was mutual. She had a new boyfriend 3 weeks afterwards.
It was years ago but I still haven't felt right about myself since then. I always feel like I'm just a "someone" in every relationship. Maybe I'm a little extra dramatic because I recently got dumped in the same fashion, by a girl I was madly on love with who told me she could talk to me about things no one else seemed to understand. New boyfriend in less than a month. And yet again, I'm just a "someone".
I can't shake it off. It's getting old.
31.
"He left because he didn't care about you."
What my aunt told me when my dad abandoned me while I was going through chemotherapy at age 10. That's not something I needed to hear.
30.
"I am sorry, there is no heartbeat" at 9 months pregnant, 7 days before my due date...
Nothing else comes close for me.
29.
Nothing. After telling my best friend how much she meant to me silence was the response that I never would have thought would be the most painful.
28.
"I'm so sorry, I truly feel as though I've failed you as a mother", my beautiful mum said in tears when she found out how incredibly suicidal I was and had a nervous breakdown in front of her. She certainly hasn't failed me, we have our ups and downs but she is the best mum I could ask for. I felt like I failed her as a daughter when she said that.
27.
My mother: "I wish you'd never been born."
I reacted with "I don't want you to be my mother then." I ended up not talking or seeing her for over five years.
26.
To be honest, the most painful thing didn't need to be said. We all knew.
It was Mother's Day. I was 35 weeks pregnant, and getting prepared to go to my maternity shoot. I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right, and had my husband take me to the hospital to reassure me that everything was okay. I knew the second she put the Doppler on me, that my worst fears were about to be realized.
Tears started to flow from me, and the (now panicked) nurse was trying to reassure me that sometimes a heartbeat can be hard to detect depending on baby's position, and that they were going to get me into an ultrasound immediately. She was holding back tears. I knew. I just knew.
They wheeled me into a dark room with a large screen. I saw the ultrasound of my son's lifeless body. Every nurse in the room started to weep. "I'm so sorry" was the only thing I can distinctly remember hearing. Everything is a blur. It was a f*cking nightmare.
25.
The dead, awful silence was worse than anything else.
"Dad, you made me. What is my favorite color? My favorite food? What is my girlfriend's last name? Why don't you know anything about me?"
"I made mistakes, son."
"I'm not dead or missing, dad. I'm right here, in front of you. My whole life I wanted to be here just once because you wanted me here. All you had to do was make the slightest effort. Why am I the black sheep? What did I do so wrong as a son that you never wanted me?"
"..."
24.
"I can't let you talk to her."
The words I heard while I was in tears calling my mom asking to talk to my Grandmother, who I had found out had passed the day prior... through condolence wishes on Facebook.
23.
Growing up I was very shy and socially anxious. When we would go out places my dad would constantly say to me, why are you so rude, why don't you just talk to people?
For years my dad would just constantly say, what is wrong with you, why can't you just be normal and talk? What is your problem?
Which just led to me being even more self conscious, withdrawing even more, which led to my dad getting even angrier and the cycle worse.
Ended up developing terrible self esteem and depression as a teenager and am now 26 years old and having terrible relationship skills because I have such hard time opening up and trusting people.
22.
"You haven't been a very good son" For context my parents are going through a stupidly complicated and messy divorce.
Me and my dad were arguing over the phone and I was calling him these terrible names and said he couldn't believe I would say those things to him.
So I said "the reason I'm able to say those things is because you're not a good dad."
I explained to him that I never felt a strong connection or relationship with him; we never bonded or talked or had moments, he would just sit at the tv, watch football and eat potato chips. That's when he said I haven't been a good son.
21.
"I didn't want to hurt his feelings"
I was emotionally abused and manipulated by my best friend, and cousin, for years. She constantly used me as a means of taking out her anger and sadness from her personal life. Constantly came to my house to escape from her parents, used all of our electronic devices to talk to men she met online until five in the morning, yelled and screamed for me to always be with her to make her feel safe.
I always tried my best to comfort her and make her feel ok. I was always trying to be understanding and give her what she wanted. One day a boy got involved, he and I became a "couple". He used me to try to win the heart of my cousin, because he wanted to show her how great of a guy he was when dating me (ie. Buying my gifts, going out to dinner) In the end he cheated on me multiple times and lied to my face about talking to my cousin behind my back. When I found out that she had known he was lying to me and confronted her about why she didn't tell me, she said:
"I didn't want to hurt his feelings"
This was the biggest eye opener I experienced in my life. She did not care for me in the same way I had been there for her and put the feelings of some man between us. The relationship between her and I has been strained to this day, and there isn't a time where I can be in the same room as her without having to feel like I will always mean so little to her and bitter because I never received an apology. She's simply given excuses stating that she was young and didn't know any better. The words still hurt me to this day and she has no idea as to why it does.
20.
My childhood best friend and me grew up in a small town and ended up getting a our first flat together and he was very out going and loved his dirt bike.
As time went on he stopped socializing and would and spend a lot of time sitting in his parents garage avoiding the world. One morning he said I will see you in a few days going down south for work which he was a few days pass and his dad knocks on the door in a panic and asked if I have heard from will change his name to Sam and I could tell something serious has happened because he's missing.
I jump in my car to make the 4 hour drive down to were he was last seen with work a hour into the drive I had a feeling and knew he was dead hard to explain pulled over to side of road and decided to head home when I arrived his mum arrived she said he was found with a self inflicted gunshot wound to his head.
But the bit I got told by his uncle a year later that I constantly think about every day for the last 20 years is he was found about 200 meters from the gun he shot himself with that he didn't die straight away but started trying to go and get help can't imagine what he was going through breaks my heart.
19.
I was being a typical kid at 11 or 12 years old. My mom was very physically and verbally abusive. I thought she was going to hit me for something (I don't remember what I did) but she just lit a cigarette, stood at the kitchen sink looking out the window and said, "Maybe you'll end up in jail and someone's b!tch." I didn't understand what it meant back then, but it was something that always stuck with me.
When I came out she told me, "I think it's disgusting," and hung up on me. We didn't speak for almost a year. I called her out of the blue one day and she acted like nothing had happened. Over the next few years I did some self help stuff and tried to tell her how she had affected me, but she just copped out with, "I did the best I could." It was then I realized we probably never come to terms with each other.
18.
"i don't need you treating me like my dad." - an ex friend comparing me to her abusive father after i sat her down to talk to her about her unhealthy coping mechanisms because i was concerned about her. our relationship never was the same after that.
17.
I suffer with bipolar, thought I'd met someone who understood (they said they did). After destroying myself to give her everything, putting on fronts every day she wanted to go out with her friends etc and dragging me along to which I kept putting on a amiable facade which she never appreciated.
one day I was too low to do anything, I'd spent 2 days in bed just staring at a wall, not eating, seeing, showering, she asked me to go out with her friends again, when I asked if she really thought that was a good idea she hurled a load of abuse at me, threw some stuff at me but the worst thing was when she told me I was f---ed up in the head, incapable of love and that nobody could ever really love me.
Fast forward 3 years I left her and met a truly amazing woman who not only appreciates that things can be bad sometimes she truly loves me regardless. My mood swings even seem to be far less frequent. Although at the time what the other ogre said to me cut Dee over time it become a nothing comment, my new partner helped me realise that. I hope everybody else who comments on here feels better now than they did at the time, chin up guys!
16.
I came home from school and mum told me I needed to go see my nana (my best friend) she was in the hospital dying. We sped 2hrs in the car to the hospital ... I jumped out of the car and sprinted and sprinted down all the long hallways of a hospital I'd never seen ... I made it to the door looked in and saw lots of people looking at her, I see her eyes roll back and someone says "You've just missed her."
I leave to the hospital carpark, someone is playing their radio very loudly song by the Black Eye Peas "Tonight's gunna be a good night."
15.
My brother was caught shoplifting when we were kids. When they asked his reason, it was because he said he wanted to play with me. It still hurts to this day because I usually keep to myself. It's hard being open for me.
As an adult, a lady I asked out reported me and when they questioned her, they said she was sorry for leading me on. Cut deep.
14.
"You're the middle child, you have it the easiest. No one cares about you anyway"
My mom told me when I was 13.
13.
"If you disappear like that again I will not look for you. Do you understand? I will let you go"
My ex wife after she found me after I tried to kill myself.
12.
Growing up I was very shy and socially anxious. When we would go out places my dad would constantly say to me, why are you so rude, why don't you just talk to people?
For years my dad would just constantly say, what is wrong with you, why can't you just be normal and talk? What is your problem? Which just led to me being even more self conscious, withdrawing even more, which led to my dad getting even angrier and the cycle worse.
Ended up developing terrible self esteem and depression as a teenager and am now 26 years old and having terrible relationship skills because I have such hard time opening up and trusting people.
11.
Probably not as bad as losing someone but for me it was devastating. Long story short when I was in the army the pain in my leg wasn't a pulled muscle. It was a blood clot. I went to the base hospital and they told me that I had to give myself injections in my stomach (no big deal, I was a medic) to make it smaller. I had to also avoid physical activity that could cause it to get loose which could cause it to go to my brain or lungs which could be fatal. I was literally about a 3 weeks out from deploying to Iraq.
The doctor tells me that I won't be able to deploy with the unit. I was crushed because I had worked really hard preparing for this deployment and was promoted to a position I had been aiming for for quite a while. I was going to be a line medic with an infantry unit. I had spent the entire year training with my platoon and worked my way into a position of trust and confidence. Not one single leader in the platoon I was assigned to would call me "Doc".
They addressed me by my name and rank. But eventually they say what kind of medic I was and even the hardened combat vets started to call me Doc. Not only was I proud but the entire medic platoon was as well. I felt like my guys knew they could count on me and now I wasn't able to go and they had to work with a replacement that they didn't know.
Anyway I was told that I would most likely be able to rejoin my unit in a few months. That's fine because I could avoid all the bullshit that happens the first month or two on deployment while you set up your shop and get your gear sorted out. But that didn't happen.
During some blood tests the doctors discovered that I had a rare medical condition that made my blood much more likely to clot like this and were quite surprised I never had one before. They put me on blood thinners and I was told I would no longer be able to serve in the army if I was on blood thinners.
That's like one of the few medications you can't be on in the Army. 12 years in with 8 or less (my retirement points were getting high because of the war) to go for full retirement down the drain. Not only was my career over and I had to restart my life at 36 but pretty much all I left with was the money I had in the bank. Not even a hearty handshake since everyone I knew was in Iraq.
And I never heard from any of them again. I've never heard from anyone I was in the Army with ever again. And now for the rest of my life I need to go to the hospital and have a vial of blood drawn and tested every month. Sometimes more if I forget I have a test and drink a couple of beers a day or two before it.
10.
"You haven't been a very good son" For context my parents are going through a stupidly complicated and messy divorce.
Me and my dad were arguing over the phone and I was calling him these terrible names and said he couldn't believe I would say those things to him so I said "the reason I'm able to say those things is because you're not a good dad."
I explained to him that I never felt a strong connection or relationship with him; we never bonded or talked or had moments, he would just sit at the tv, watch football and eat potato chips. That's when he said I haven't been a good son.
9.
This happened very recently, so it still hurts a lot, but maybe for the purpose of this thread is better like this: My crush told me that not only she didn't like me, but that she only was my friend because she pitied me.
I was making good progress in trying to attenuate my depression, but because of this not only I'm back to square one, but I also lost my hope in ever making progress again. Honestly I still regret not killing myself that night.
8.
That one of my exes, one I was in a serious relationship with a few years prior, had been brutally murdered.
My dad called and told me. He saw it on the news. He confirmed her name and address with one of the local TV stations to make sure it was her, and it was.
7.
When my ex cheated on me, it was painful. It was a LOT more painful when I asked her for how long this had been happening.
Turns out they were at it for a couple of months already. The fact that it wasn't just a one time mistake but also emotional cheating, hurt like hell!
6.
I was working the tills on a busy Friday night in the local fish and chip shop. My boss grabbed my arm and took me out the back. He was grey and told me something bad had happened. He had tears in his eyes and I thought something happened to my dad who was sick at the time. He brought me outside to my auntie. She drove me home and told me my 14 year old cousin had hung himself that night. I didn't believe it so walked back to work and tried finishing my shift.
I still remember how you looked at me the day before, at the bus stop, when you said goodbye. I wonder if you knew it really was goodbye. It's been just over 2 years and I still cry for you, Patrick. My heart will always miss you wee man
5.
I've always struggled with my weight and have a lot of self confidence/mental issues due to it. When I met my current boyfriend in person after a year of online talk, he relayed to me that I was "fatter than he expected". He didn't have any malice behind it since he's supportive of me and great but those words still come back to me every now and then.
It's funny because I used to have a presence online before I met him and the number one thing people would target me for was my weight. I got used to it but his comment still felt like a hot blade.
4.
had a friend who had a rocky relationship with her dad. She was once telling me about a friend she knew who was abused by her father and a sudden look of revelation came over her face.
I asked her what she was thinking about. She responded, "I just realized how lucky I am. My dad could have hit me a lot harder than he did."
She sounded grateful when she said it, and I tried to pretend it hadn't broken my heart.
3.
When I was a kid my parents got me a kitten. Life circumstances changed shortly after, we became very, very poor. My dad slipped into a depression he never really came out of and turned quite abusive.
The cat really hated him after that. Started sh!tting in his shoes and attacking him. I went to school one day and came home and the cat was gone and my parents told me he ran away. I spent years looking for him when I went outside to play, and cried when the weather was bad because I imagined him out in it somewhere.
My mum casually told me over the phone late last year that she thinks my father killed it. She said he took the kitten into the woods and came back alone and then nobody saw the cat again.
I feel sick whenever I think about it. That cat deserved better.
2.
My best friend (of 10 years) was diagnosed with epilepsy almost 3 years ago, she knew she had it but didn't feel like treating it, about a year ago (after an argument we didn't talk for a year) I finally spoke to her again and her first words to me were "I'm sorry, what's your name again?" I had to step away and sob.
The seizures had done so much damage to her brain, she had no memories we shared together, she didn't remember my name or anything. It truly broke me to bits. I'm now left with the memories and the ptsd from all of her seizures (anytime someone even twitches, I have a full panic attack) and she got to leave those memories and me behind and become a new person.
1.
"Grow up and get help. We're done, now move on. If this continues, I'll go to HR."
I remember every word like it was yesterday. She was one of my best friends until that point. She wanted to date and I didn't. I tried to set boundaries. She wanted to come over to my house alone. She wanted to take a vacation together. She wanted to have sex. No. No. No.
Despite everything, we were friends. And she had the audacity to talk like I'm the ahole.
Still hurt though.
Every decade we learn and grow.
Well, we hope we do.
Everything changes with the passing of time.
Sex is especially fluid.
They say the older you get the better it gets.
I'm not sure for myself, but it sounds like it's working out for a lot of other people.
20s are full of verve and energy.
30s are full of bitterness and regret from the sex in the 20s.
Though that can be hot too.
Redditor Infinite_Werewolf395 wanted to hear about how things can change over the course of a decade when it comes to sexy time, so they asked:
"What is the biggest difference between sex in your 20s and sex in your 30s?"
I guess I was maybe little more confident in my 30s.
That was a plus.
Never Settle
"I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want and say what feels good to me and what doesn't. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys."
"Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex."
mynamecouldbesam
Continue
"20s: It didn't really take a lot to get me going, just 1. being in my bed, and 2. being mostly nude was enough."
"30s: I really need them to be into it, too. Like... if they act like they're only doing this to make me happy, I pick up on it and I just can't continue. I also need them to like, show some interest in me too, or it takes some monumental effort to be in the mood. I'm more particular, and more aware of what the other party is doing and how they're reacting, etc."
We1tfunk
Real Struggle
"The amount of time you have available."
frenix5
"Not necessarily. In general, life just gets busy. My husband and I are in our 30s with no kids and still find this a struggle. Life just gets busier the older you get. We have to work hard on prioritizing our relationship."
TheSilentBaker
"There’s a hell of a lot more planning involved. Gotta schedule that crap out in advance."
KosstAmojan
Learning
"I'm 35 dating a 27 yr old. I tried the pills and all kinds of different things. Eventually, we had this one time where I was really Into it (never happens anymore really. Can't keep it up so it's hard to comply when it's initiated cause I know it'll just end in disappointment for both of us) and It was the best sex we'd had in years."
"I'm still not sure what factors were different that day but I honestly think it was probably mostly emotional reinforcement. Usually, she just starts grabbing at me and there's no romance so it's hard to get... hard. I think that day we actually did some foreplay. Anyways this has really helped me a lot reading all the responses. I figured I was just freakin' cursed. Never got much action in my prime."
"It just seemed appropriate that when I was finally getting some my sh*t would stop working lol. Good to know that I'm not the only man who puts importance on the emotional component of sex. Thought that was my problem for a while too. Guess I just have emotional needs that aren't being met and it's bleeding into other facets of my life."
MurphNastyFlex
Still Hot
"Sex in the 30s are about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things."
probablyurprofessor
I didn't find this to be true.
That's me though.
The Process
"Sex got better. I finally figured out what my wife likes. Though a long tedious trial and error process."
SaiyanGodKing
Ruts
"Exploration is difficult once you’ve fallen into a rut. Routines become commonplace. I’m such a sub these days that I don’t mind bad sex for me as long as I can make my partner climax. It’s easy to tell with men, but with women partners I'm always afraid they’re faking or acting, so there definitely needs to be established trust first."
pissoff1818
Decades of Learning
"Teens: did it like a nympho, but sex was mediocre. 20's: did it like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30's: started figuring out what I wanted. Did it a little less, but better quality. 40's: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before."
"(Edited to add: had kids in late 20's, early 30's. Kids consume so much time and energy. Kids are getting older now, so more time and energy for sex again. Honestly sex in 40's has been the freakiest, wildest, most fulfilling yet)."
ChristyCurious
Let's Sleep
"20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex!"
"30s: sex? Hmmm okay but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep but also we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! F**k it who cares wait what was that oh one of the kids is at the door."
Hopeful_Jello_7894
Perfection
"Oh man, it's so much better in my 30s than it's ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before."
Leebollomew
Learning and Growth
"I’ve got something I haven’t seen yet..."
"20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts."
30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest."
Slappyhandz
A decade can really change everything.
Farewell youth.
CW: Suicide.
When it comes to our family histories, it seems like there are two kinds of people: those who have very little access to family documents and history, and those who know practically everything there is to know about what each of their family members has done since the dawn of time.
But even for those who seem to know everything, all families have their share of secrets.
And those secrets or more over-the-top stories can really enrich our understanding and appreciation of our families.
Redditor Careless_Put_4770 asked:
"What is the most interesting story you have of an ancestor (past your parent's generation)?"
A Dark Past
"The Uncle of my grandfather was part of Hitler's personal SS Corps."
- Eichelhaeher-Hermann
"I have a friend whose uncle of a grandfather was a bodyguard of Hermann Göring."
"He lost both his legs after he messed up and was sent to the Russian front as punishment, but still praised Hitler and the Nazis until he died."
"I also have an SS grandfather who dug up human remains at the Swiss border in 1941."
"Some general advice here: Don't ask your German friends about their family history. You're gonna have a bad time."
- Monarch-Of-Jack
Ranch Hand for Theodore Roosevelt
"I don’t know the date’s exactly off the top of my head but they’re written down at home."
"My Great Grandfather (Grandma's dad) was born in the Black Hills Germany. He allegedly killed a German officer and went on the lam to the United States."
"He worked as a ranch hand for Theodore Roosevelt for some years before he married my Great Grandma. He was gifted a buffalo rifle from Roosevelt which was taken by one of grandmas brothers after their dad died."
- Anonymous_Whale1
For the Woman He Loves
"My great grandfather killed my great grandmother's suitor and kidnapped her a night before her wedding."
"Apparently in the region of South India I'm from, women used to pick their future husband off a lineup of men wishing to marry her."
"My great grandfather was rejected by my great grandmother, and so he went about executing the dude chosen by her and kidnapping her, which apparently was seen as an extremely macho move."
"My Grandfather was born in 1896 so the time period would've been around 1860-1880."
- Glock_and_Dagger
An Impressive Gift
"My great-grandfather lost one of his arms during WW1, and right after the war, he decided to ask my great-grandmother to marry him."
"To show her how much he loved her, he decided to give her a really nice pair of shoes from a good shoemaker who lived in the countryside, and cars were not that common at the time."
"He took his bike and rode 70 kilometers (43 miles) to the closest big city to get her a really nice pair of shoes and rode 70 kilometers back with the box on his lap to give it to her. WITH ONLY ONE ARM."
"Pretty romantic, but that's not the end of the story."
"The shoemaker f**ked up big time and gave him two left shoes by accident, so my great-grandpa took his bike the next day, and did the 70 kilometers back and forth to exchange one of the shoes."
"And they lived happily married ever after."
"Every time I tell the story to someone married, they look at their husband with disdain, which I find pretty funny (I never told the story to any of my girlfriends, though)."
- Albescents
Family Lineage
"If you trace my family line back far enough you get to Norwegian royalty. It's a second son of a third son, kind of thing."
- LoveDistinct
A Supportive Family
"I come from a VERY conservative family, and when I realized I was gay, it terrified me to come out. I came out to my mom and she didn’t have an easy time handling it, but within 48 hours, she was my best friend and a strong advocate."
"The turnaround was very strange. She also told me to never be scared to tell anyone in the family, which again seemed like being set up for failure. But it really wasn’t. Everyone was super supportive and kind and very defensive of me."
"For years I wondered why and then one day I was at a family do with my grandmother and her four sisters, the Matriarchs of each branch of the family and the five most terrifying but loving women you ever met."
"They pulled me aside and we’re VERY interested in how I was doing if anyone in the family had been mean to me, and if anyone had given me a hard time about being 'special' as they called it."
"I said no, surprisingly everyone in the family had been lovely. They didn’t ask any more questions but told me to come to them if anyone was being mean."
"This was so overwhelming to see these elderly, super-conservative women being so supportive, so I cornered my mom and demanded to know why they were so nice."
"Then my mom told me about Ravi. Ravi was a beautiful, charismatic, loving, kind, sweet teenager who was my grandmother and her sisters' best friend in the 1940s. He was allowed to hang out with the women because he was 'not a threat' (he was super gay but you didn’t talk about it)."
"My gran and her sisters absolutely adored Ravi, until one day his personality changed. He became dark and withdrawn. Eventually, he killed himself."
"My gran and her sisters were devastated and didn’t know why, until they found out that Ravi had fallen in love with a boy and his parents had figured out. Ravi’s parents destroyed him psychologically through isolation, berating and eventually questionable medical interventions. Ravi’s soul was broken so he took his life."
"My grand and her sisters never ever forgave their community or Ravi’s parents for what they did to him, so when my mother called my grandmother weeping and screaming that I was gay, my grandmother came down on her like a ton of bricks with all the power and might that she could muster. She told my mother that if I was ever treated differently, If I was ever isolated or bullied by a member of the family, they would have to face the consequences of dealing with grandmother and her sisters."
"Her sisters also told all their children to treat me with respect and love, all without me knowing, because they never wanted anyone to go through what their best most loved male friend had all those years ago."
"I owe my happiness to that man, fly free my brother, wherever you are."
- Astro493
Such a Punch Line
"My Great-Grandmother had two suitors: a man in America and a man in Manchester, UK."
"The guy in America bought her a ticket to cross the Atlantic and be with him, and she was set to go, but at the last minute, the guy in England proclaimed his love and won her over."
"And that’s how my great-grandparents got together, as opposed to my great-grandmother dying on The Titanic."
- BigRagu79
A Pirate's Life for Me
"My great great great great grandfather was abducted by pirates as a boy and raised as one… in Canada. They were river brigands. My mom has a book on him."
"Her parents were from Czechoslovakian and Germany though, so I’m not sure how that happened. I always told people I was part pirate, though."
- iluvgrannysmith
A Wild Story
"Great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa Andrew threw rocks through his landlord's windows in Cork, jumped onto the next ship to Canada, started a farm on the Ottawa River, changed his surname to MacDonald so people would think he was Scottish, and imprisoned the tax collector in his cellar when they came to demand land taxes from him."
- ImperialistDog
Aerial Escape
"My grandad was an engineer for the British army in Egypt during World War Two."
"He and a buddy got drunk one time and slept in this small town, when they awoke they discovered the Germans had taken over the town. So they evaded capture and discovered an old plane that required maintenance, and the two ended up repairing the plane and flew it over German lines and into Allied territory."
- DeviousMelons
Wild, Wild West
"One of my ancestors was Curly Bill Brocious, the leader of the infamous Cowboys gang which fought against the Earps in and around Tombstone Arizona in the 1870s/80s."
"He was killed by Wyatt Earp himself by a shotgun blast that reportedly tore him in two."
- EppurSiMuove00
Family Trees
"My grandma (mother's side) was abandoned in an orphanage by my great-grandmother because she wanted to run off and marry another man, and he would not take her children. So my great grandfather, who was in the army during WW1, came to see them and promised to come back after the next battle. It was the somme, he died."
"The same grandmother did not know how old she was, by the time she obtained a copy of her birth certificate later in life, she found out she was a year older than she thought she was."
"My Dad's Grandfather was an advertising artist, semi-famous at the time, there is an original of his passed down in our family, it is with my dad's oldest brother now. It is of a boy running down a famous road in my northern city past a famous theatre still being used to this day."
- dracolibris
The Consequences of Love
"One of my great-grandmother’s grandma was an aristocrat. She fell in love with a peasant boy working on their lands. Her father told her he would disown her if she wanted to be with that boy. So one dark night the boy got my grandma escaped from their home and they ran away. Needless to say, she was disowned."
"And that’s the story of why I have to work now, instead of just seeing my monthly allowance show up on my bank account."
"Omnia vincit amor."
- Healthy_Chipmunk_990
Connections, Connections Everywhere
"My mom and my stepdad share an ancestor about four generations back."
"Also somewhere in this range, my great-[ex?]-grandma received a letter from her brother that had left Austria."
"He said, 'Come to America. If not for your sake, then for your children's sake.'"
" She talked her husband into it, they moved to the Midwest, and several generations later I was born."
- CrumblingInInverse
Anything's Possible
"I'm 34 but my paternal grandfather was born in 1895. He got shot through both knees sideways in Belgium during World War I then had to limp miles to safety... Sounds impossible but I have a newspaper article about it!"
"His brother also survived WWI, only to die in the Spanish flu pandemic. Sadly my grandfather died quite a while before I was born."
- Fit_Peanut_8801
It's amazing how far back some of our families go and how far back some families are able to trace their family's history. Knowing a little more about what our family has done can really tell us where we have been, so we can decide where we will go next.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
At least when it comes to entertainment, we're all taught to believe that being kind will take you far and that the good guy always wins over the villain.
But even in movies and TV shows, sometimes that isn't true anymore, and that can make a far more compelling story.
Note: there are massive spoilers below. You have been warned.
Redditor careater asked:
"What is a good 'the bad guy wins' movie?"
Man on Fire
"Man on Fire."
- Sapphic_Butterfly
Nightcrawler
"'Nightcrawler,' definitely. Only a few people mentioned it in this thread, which I find surprising. It fits the definition of the 'bad guy winning' perfectly and it is also a really good movie."
- belshezzar
Valkyrie
"'Valkyrie.' Crazy to think that Hollywood didn’t have to embellish much because those events actually happened in real life."
- lawontheside
Unforgiven
"'Unforgiven.'"
"Eastwood's character is the bad guy. He killed women and children and everything that walked or crawled. He was a hired vigilante."
"Little Bill was the law. But he was also a belligerent a-hole who beat a man to death and let another get away with cutting up a woman’s face because she was a w**re. He got what was coming whether he deserved it or not."
- PoorPauly
Starship Troopers
"'Starship Troopers.'"
- B3taWats0n
"It still baffles me that some people don't get that the humans are the bad guys. Neil Patrick Harris becomes more and more Nazified over the course of the movie until he's just wearing an SS uniform in the last scene."
- SergeantChic
"Consider:"
"At no point is there any evidence to the audience (unless presented by a newscast of a fascist regime) that the bugs are the aggressors."
"No fighting takes place on human territory."
"There is no clear cause for the bugs to throw a rock at the earth."
"The bugs did nothing wrong."
- couchsurfingpotato
Infinity War
"'Infinity War.'"
- O5CR
"Serious question for anyone who's seen that movie more recently: did Thanos have a 50% chance of wiping himself out of existence when he did the snap?"
- Discuffalo
"Yes, and this was confirmed by the Russo Brothers in a Q&A as well. That's why he seems surprised and gives a little smirk before teleporting away after the snap; he sees himself being exempted as proof that he was doing the right thing."
- fredagsfisk
"Titan Roulette."
- WayneAndWax
Halloween
"Basically ALL the 'Halloween' movies. Michael wins every single time except for 'Halloween Ends,' which is a real absolute first, to be honest."
"First runner-up: 'The Collector.'"
"Second runner-up: every single 'Saw' movie."
- whitehack
Midsommar
"'Midsommar' if you treat the cult as the bad guy."
- tkdyo
"The cult is definitely the villain of the story."
- A**_a**_in99
X-Men: First Class
"X-men: First Class (2011)."
"'I prefer... Magneto" what follows is the most bada** villain theme since imperial march."
- TeamAlphaSquad
"'I've been at the mercy of men just following orders. NEVER AGAIN.'"
- killingjoke96
"Magneto is the deuteragonist of the film."
"Shaw is the Bad Guy. And he gets a penny for his thoughts (a coin through his head)."
- streakermaximus
Lad Abiding Citizen
"Depending on your perspective, 'Law Abiding Citizen.'"
- lyzaros
"I can’t stand watching that movie. Every time I hope Gerard Butler will win, and Jamie Foxx catches him every d**n time…"
- KidAndrogynous
"Such a bulls**t ending. It's like they passed out of having Gerard Butler's character win, like they couldn't show a man with 10 years of planning pull off his vengeance plan against the justice system in case the audience got ideas."
"It seemed like a case of Jamie Foxx wouldn't allow them to make his character 'lose', but this is a myth apparently. It's still s**t, though."
- vaguebiscuits
"Yeah, it p**ses me off that Butler's character loses."
"The 'good guys' only won because they broke the law. The cop and the lawyer didn't get a warrant, and it was literally shrugged away as they broke into and entered the garage. If they were actually sticking to the rules they espoused, as they should have, Butler's character would have gotten away with it."
"I know, I know... The good guys have to win, Butler's character was a murderous psychopath, ends justify the means, etc. But I think the ending was a copout."
- cstretten
Gone Girl
"'Gone Girl.'"
- solitamaxx
"Well done movie, absolutely hated it and will never watch it again. Made me so d**n mad, but I understand it did exactly what it was meant to."
- Raccoonanity
Skeleton Key
"'Skeleton Key.'"
- nursesarahrn78
"A very interesting movie. The ending... whew!"
- Forsaken_Button_9387
"The scream I scrumpt when she said, 'Baby, you just trapped yourself!'"
- soljjr
Fallen
"'Fallen.' That movie was f**king awesome, great ending."
- TheRealOcsiban
"Did I ever tell you about the time I almost died?"
- crazym108
"Now remember, I told you I was going to tell you the story of the time I ALMOST died."
- whyisreplicainmyname
"Tiii-i-i-ime... is on my side. Yes, it is..."
- AKeeneyedguy
Cabin in the Woods
"'Cabin in the Woods.'"
"Well, the bad guys actually lose, but the world ends as a result."
- Jonny-Max
"It's one of my favorite twists on a horror movie ever."
- careater
"Are they really the bad guys though? Sure, they act like a**holes about killing people, but it’s kind of important that they do it."
- Freedom_7
"The gods they are trying to appease, it’s movie audiences like you and me. We are the actual bad guys."
"If what we expect to see doesn’t happen, like a virgin sacrificial ritual, we will destroy the movie at the box office. That’s the big hand you see at the end."
- Initial_E
"So ... our nostalgia and need for cliches is the bad guy? We're the reason Hollywood only does remakes now?"
"F**k... that's darker than I realized."
- konsf_ksd
Arlington Road
"'Arlington Road.'"
- Dapper_Interest_8914
"This should be top."
"'Infinity War' and 'Empire Strikes Back' are not the ending of the story, and as we know, the bad guy eventually loses."
"This is one of the only movies where the bad guy wins, and that's it, the end. He doesn't die and win like in 'Se7en.' There's no sequel to make right the wrong. The baddies just f**king trick the protagonist big time and win."
"Leaves you feeling almost angry, stunned even."
- 8blackJack8black
Everyone can appreciate a happy ending, but these movies go to show that a movie can still be great without the good guy coming out on top.
In fact, it might even make these movies all the move impactful and memorable.
When people feel as if they've been wronged, their initial instinct is to retaliate.
Getting revenge is a negative impulse in which the victim feels they can only move on from the situation only after inflicting a similar level of emotional or physical pain or embarassment.
That's not everyone's style, however, and it's not up to us to stoop to the lowest common denominator and give in to our darkest urges to seek justice.
But if you take a moment and consider other alternatives, certain forms of revenge can be sweet.
These were explored when Redditor Fronzie7 quoted a famous music icon to ask:
"Frank Sinatra said, 'The best revenge is massive success' What's a real-life example of this?"
Everyone loves a good Hollywood ending.
You Know You've Made It When You're On A Lunchbox
"Michael J.Fox has a great story about when he started out. Some big wheel at the network didn't like him for the role of Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. He was too short, not cute, not heart throb enough, you're never going to see his face on a lunch box. But the producer cast him anyway and the show shot to number one and stayed there."
"Fox sent him a Family Ties lunch box with his face on it and then Back to the Future 1,2,3 lunch boxes."
– Hazelsmom64
A Rocky Start To An Amazing Career
"Sylvester Stallone as well. Casting agents told him he was too stupid looking and he'd only get small roles as the thug who got beaten up. He said he literally went to every casting agent in NYC and got rejected by all of them."
"Even after he wrote Rocky and found producers, they didn't want him to star in it."
– YounomsayinMawfk
The Dreamgirl Who Never Stopped Dreaming
"Jennifer Hudson lost American Idol and became more successful than the winner."
– Stashdragon
"She is a recent EGOT winner and the youngest woman to do it. 7th Place looks fantastic on her."
– jdmccoy
Against all odds, the end result was a victory for these accomplished individuals.
Home Surveillance Home Run
"The guy who invented Ring cameras went on Shark Tank and was rejected by everyone. They all thought it would fail….we’ll you know the rest."
– Ruzzthabus
"He went back on Shark Tank after that, but this time as one of the sharks."
– 1Land_1Keep
The Skies The Limit
"Ron McNair had the police called on him when he was little because he was black and reading in a library. He grew up to be an astronaut and the library he was kicked out of was later named after him."
– sperdush
"For those who may not be familiar with his name; he was one of the Challenger crew members on January 28, 1986."
– This-Marsupial-6187
Emerged From The Shallow
"When Lady GaGa was in college, some of her classmates had a Facebook group called 'Stefani Germanotta, you'll never be famous.'"
"Pretty sure she proved them wrong."
– NotHisRealName
Now these are smart business moves.
Recipe For Success
"Erin French, chef-owner of restaurant The Lost Kitchen in rural Maine."
"Co-owned a restaurant in the town of Belfast with her husband; a very tumultuous relationship ended with him changing the locks on the building with all of her equipment inside."
"She licked her wounds, leased space in an old mill building in her tiny hometown of Freedom, and built from the ground one of the best restaurants in the country, with a coveted reservation that is fabled for its difficulty to get a table. Has her own multi-season documentary on TV and is absolutely killing it in the culinary world now."
– Girhinomofe
A Toy Story
"George Lucas got the ownership of the toy rights to star wars because they don’t think it would be successful. He made an absolute killing on those."
– Birds-aint-real-
"Not just the toy rights, he got the entire IP in exchange for waiving is salary."
– xdert
Lamborghini Origin Story
"Italian industrialist, builder of tractors, made a mint out of it and rewarded himself with a new Ferrari."
"Ferrari broke down. Needed a new clutch. Wealthy industrialist waited patiently for his new clutch to arrive, and after many weeks it finally showed up - same clutch he was putting in his tractors, more than twice the price."
"A little bit annoyed at this, he rang Ferrari to complain. They told him 'go back to building tractors, leave supercars to us.'"
"And Lamborghini was born..."
– RaffiaWorkBase
Gaming Victory
"Sony and Nintendo were working on a console together before the N64 came out, intending to utilize Nintendo's gaming hardware combined with Sony's sound tech to create games with more immersive sound capabilities than have been seen before. Partway through development and immediately following Sony's announcement of their partnership, Nintendo backed out of the deal, which if you're not aware of Japanese business etiquette, is kind of a d*ck move."
"Nintendo backed out to work with Philips to put Nintendo games on the CDi, which resulted in the worst-received Nintendo games of all time."
"Sony, out of spite, went on to make the PlayStation, one of the best-selling consoles in gaming history, and cement themselves as a massive player in the console wars to this day."
– Critical-String8774
Be Kind And Rewind
"Blockbuster laughed baby Netflix out of the room with their idea. Then later, grown-up Netflix killed blockbuster."
– ChurroForSure-o
"Best thing for Netflix, really. Blockbuster would have driven themselves and the Netflix rent model out of business through mismanagement."
"I don't know about you, but I can't live in a world without Voltron: Legendary Defender."
– Tobias_Atwood
So what's the moral of the story?
Basically, always be kind and never make anyone feel less than they deserve. You never know what the future brings, and you putting down someone for your own fleeting gain will come back to haunt you.
Also, remember that karma works in mysterious ways.