People Reveal Which Scientific Breakthroughs Are Not Getting Enough Attention
Science. It runs our lives and is advancing every day, almost faster than we can keep track of it. The relentless pursuit of progress spans all disciplines, and thankfully there are people who follow the latest and greatest.
Flea_Shooter asked: What are some recent scientific breakthroughs/discoveries that aren't getting enough attention?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
15. Science we desperately need.
Microfragmenting - the scientific creation of coral (usual 25-30 years) done in 3 years! Helping the ocean and planet survive!
The warehouse attached to my property is heavily invested in this. It's really cool seeing the coral laid out under the huge specialist lights they have in there. Very futuristic industrial vibe.
Also they figured out why Cuba's coral is thriving while other reefs in the Caribbean are dying, it's because Cuba doesn't use chemical fertilizers due to the Soviet Union collapse.
14. It's in the bones.
Schizophrenia may start in your bone marrow. One guy got cured of schizophrenia by getting a bone marrow transplant
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/29/opinion/sunday/schizophrenia-psychiatric-disorders-immune-system.htmlAnd another guy got schizophrenia from a bone marrow transplant from his schizophrenic brother. https://www.nature.com/articles/bmt2014221
Some studies claim that schizophrenia is caused by autoimune response to certain brain proteins which are not yet indentified. Most of their patients got better after immunosuppession therapy or plasmapheresis. By changing bone marrow, you actually change persons blood cells, including the ones of the immune system. So that's probbably the reason of reported shizophrenia in bone marrow transplantees.
13. Well, what are you wheating for?
There's a good chance there will be a cure for celiac disease within the next 10 years. There's currently an active and ongoing clinical trial where participants (with diagnosed celiac) are getting infusions that will ultimately reverse the autoimmune response a person with celiac has when they consume gluten. It's still far from complete, but we are closer than we've ever been to curing celiac disease.
**The clinical trial is taking place in Cleveland, Ohio. I was asked to be a part of it but unfortunately I just don't have the extra time. If anybody local wants more information please message me and I can get you in contact with one of the researchers!
It would be great if this could lead to cures for other autoimmune disorders. I'd rather not have my body attack my thyroid.
12. Mobile burn units.
Pretty recently they started doing tests for an extremely mobile skin grafting machine. It use a kind of hydrogel out of the patient's own skin, and scans the area of the burn then just prints out the skin.
11. Chemo with fewer side effects.
My job is coming came out with a drug that reduces the damage chemotherapy does to the body and helps regenerate blood cells faster, allowing for stronger doses to be administered and treatment scheduled to be reduced heavily.
This allows doctors to treat cancer more aggressively.
Due to this blowing up:
- I am not part of research, I just work here. For those that dug through my post history, it's not uncommon for people to get degrees but work in different fields.
- The drug is already on the market.
- No, coffee doesn't actually cure cancer.
10. Whatever it is, I want stuff made out of it.
Earlier this month, scientists were able to
successfully weld glass and metal together using ultrafast (on the order of picoseconds, which are such a short unit of time that compared to it, a full second might as well be 30,000 years) laser pulses. This hasn't been successfully done before due to the very different thermal properties of glass and metal. This is actually a pretty big breakthrough in manufacturing and could lead to stronger yet lighter materials.9. Hopefully it won't be too late.
That we have figured out how to suck CO2 out of the atmosphere and now, very recently, how to turn it into solid flakes of carbon again. And not just under higly specific and expensive lab conditions, this process is apparently scalable.
https://bigthink.com/surprising-science/carbon-dioxide-into-coalWe still need to curb emissions but this does flip the equation quite a bit regarding global warming, allowing us to put some of the toothpaste back into the tube so to speak.
Coupled with wind and solar energy, I predict this will become a major industry by mid-century, and very pure carbon an abundant material.
8. He shall be mine, and he shall be my fluffy.
Don't know if anyone has pointed this one out... but pretty certain scientists have discovered a new species of orcas that live in sub-Antarctic waters. They are calling it the "Type-D Orca"... pretty cool looking animals. More rounded heads... smaller white eye patches... taller, narrower dorsal fins... being a soon to be marine biology grad, this excites me!
EDIT: A lot more attention than I expected, thank you guys! Here is a nat geo link for those who want to see pics or vids! Also, I do realize that these have been talked about and described for many years now... but this is the first time they have been videoed and sampled for DNA testing. "Type D" Orcas
7. Hubble's constant isn't so constant after all.
Astronomer here! Most of you have heard that the universe is expanding. Astrophysicists believe there is a relationship between the distance to faraway galaxies and how fast they are moving from us, called the Hubble constant. We use the Hubble constant for... just about everything in cosmology, to be honest.
This isn't crazy and has been accepted for many decades. What is crazy is, if you are paying attention, it appears the Hubble constant is different depending on what you use to measure it! Specifically, if you use the "standard candle" stars (Cepheids and Type Ia supernovae) to measure how fast galaxies are speeding away from us, you get ~73 +/- 1 km/s/Mpc. If you study the earliest radiation from the universe (the Cosmic Microwave Background) using the
Planck satellite , you get 67 +/- 1 km/s/Mpc. This is a LOT, and both methods have a lot of confidence in that measurement with no obvious errors.
To date, no one has come up with a satisfactory answer for why this might be, and in the past year or so it's actually a bit concerning. If they truly disagree, well, it frankly means there is some new, basic physics at play.
Exciting stuff! It's just so neat that whenever you think you know how the universe works, it can throw these new curveballs at you from the most unexpected places!
Edit: some are asking if dark energy which drives the acceleration of the universe might cause the discrepancy. In short, no. You can read this article to learn more about what's going on, and this article can tell you about the expansion of the universe. In short, we see that the universe is now accelerating faster than we expect even when accounting for dark energy. It's weird!
6. Esketamine, technically, but this is showing great promise.
The FDA just approved ketamine as an antidepressant for treatment-resistant depression in the form of esketamine as a nasal spray. It's of the few unique and hopeful approaches to treatment-resistant depression that we've seen in years—some stats put the rate of recovery as high as 80% (not full recovery, but alleviation at least).
5. There is so much lost history.
Göbekli Tepe - ruin discovered in Turkey that dates back to 11000 BCE, or further. This throws a massive wrench into our understanding of what people were capable of at that time, and hints at advanced civilizations having likely existed long before we thought they did. It has also only been about 10% excavated.
I've actually read some articles over the past few weeks about archaeologists using LIDAR technology to uncover Mayan ruins, and they've found that Mayan civilization was much more extensive than originally assumed; at its height, its now believed that its population may have numbered near 15 million citizens, and that they engaged in extensive trade with their neighbors to the North and South; these LIDAR scans have revealed evidence of vast cities, farmlands and roadways. And this was all without any pack animals or wheeled carts.
4. Popped a Molly now I'm better.
If the final trials go well (they are predicted to and the previous trials have done), MDMA-assisted psychotherapy will soon be an FDA-approved treatment for PTSD. It is administered in a couple of doses over a few weeks and has lifelong effects. The group doing this research got FDA Breakthrough Therapy status for it a few years ago and have been carrying out the phase 3 trials since early last year. They were doing research into the same thing in Israel and it just got approved for compassionate use for PTSD in Israel this month. Organization is called MAPS and they do some really interesting work.
ETA: They are still recruiting people for these trials if anybody is interested. Also clarified it's MDMA-assisted psychotherapy, i.e. psychotherapy and MDMA used together.
As well as for PTSD, it'd be excellent if they could find a way for MDMA to be used in therapy for anxiety and depression. As someone who struggles with both, MDMA has been the best thing I've ever tried.
If we found a way to safely administer, moderate and use MDMA as means of therapy and treatment, it would be absolutely revolutionary.
Already being done! MAPS researchers have been doing work in this area for a while, plus a few people I can think of in the UK. The capability for treatment is very much there, it's just quite difficult to obtain funding and resources for the scale that pharma production requires, in part due to the massive stigma about working with it.
I don't know if you've ever looked into the history of MDMA as a therapeutic drug, but it's utterly fascinating. I think a lot of people know that it was an experimental drug popular with psychoanalysts and the like, but it's lesser known just how many experts tried to stop the DEA scheduling it
so harshly. They really tried! The person who founded MAPS was involved in this expert backlash.
3. Wouldn't mind some bionic parts.
I would have to say prosthesis.
You can get hands and feet that are pretty close to the actual thing that operate by feeling the muscles that remain.
We will soon be long gone from the days of military style hooks and lumps of solid plastic.
2. Climate change, caused by humans, is decimating insect populations.
It isn't just the bee colonies that are dying, it's all our insects. Recent research and predictions are saying that our insect populations, particularly that of butterflies and moths are on track to extinction in 100 years due to pesticides and climate change. If our insects continue to decline we will see a cascade flow into other animals, birds etc including our own species.
Environmental scientists are saying we're at the beginning of a mass extinction event. Truly terrifying and very little is leaking to the public via mass media or being mocked as a conspiracy theory.
Well that's scary.
You want scary? In certain areas of the world insect numbers have already plummeted to next to nothing causing the animal life that relies on insects for food to also almost vanish.
1. It's even worse for marine life.
Pretty much all water and food we consume contains microplastics. Cool!
What does that mean for us?
What does that mean for us?
Constant exposure to particles that emit estrogenic compounds. The plastics are found lodged in mouse kidneys fed municipal tap water. The same is likely true for us. Its a particularly bad place to fuck with hormonally.
It may be the reason western men's sperm counts are catastrophically dropping. It may also contribute to obesity, heart disease, and cancer rates. Constant exposure to outside hormones is a bad thing.
You can filter the water with reverse osmosis to remove the plastic, but meat and esp seafoods are laden with it. Even most vegetable products are.
Most microplastics in our water supply (and that makes its way to the crops and oceans) come from fibers from clothing as it gets washed. We need to switch to natural fabrics immediately.
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The internet is so fascinating.
And messy.
Thanks to YouTube and TikTok, so many hours can be spent lost in the world of video.
You pick a simple topic or name to check, and then it's tomorrow... and you've binged every army family reunion story.
And so much time to waste, depending on your keystroke choices.
Redditor imboredaa wanted to discuss all the ways so many of us get lost watching things on the internet, so they asked:
"What are some of the craziest/strangest rabbit holes you’ve ever been down?"
I constantly get lost on talent show audition rabbit holes.
And I am proud!
Restored
"YouTube videos of old chainsaw restorations. No idea why, but I guess that’s why it’s a rabbit hole. I don’t even own a chainsaw or have a need for one."
aretelio
'rooms/shared'
"I really enjoy going on a city’s Craigslist, then to 'rooms/shared' (or whatever it is for finding a room mate) and then typing words like 'warning' or 'beware' in the search to see what kind of horror show nightmare room mate scenarios people have decided to write about... it's usually some juicy headline like 'warning!!!'"
"Do NOT rent from this woman!!!! She is a PSYCHO!!….'"
"And after reading it, it’s always a guess to decide who is the actual crazy person, the landlord or tenant. Could be a bitter ex, tenant, or a scam, or whatever. But it’s an easy way to dive quick into some weird corners of the internet that are filled with drama."
After the Ice
"I spent a bunch of time about 12 years or so ago reading about all the details of the Titanic, how it sunk, what happened as it was sinking, who died, who survived. I got into the life stories of the people who died, and what became of the people who survived. And then I very nearly bought a piece of carpet from the Titanic."
SweetCosmicPope
Expeditions
"Andrée's Arctic balloon expedition"
"Dumb, then numb, a** thought he could fly a balloon to the North Pole. They had cyanide capsules and all, in case they crashed and were about to freeze to death. Or get eaten by a polar bear during a three month night. He and his assistants somehow managed to do both."
"Plot twist: Andree, the worst captain of all time, noticed the balloon was leaking the night before they were about to leave, pumped it up a bit, and said 'f**k it that'll do.' It did not do."
Needydadthrowaway
Thanks John
"An Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Started with 1 and ended up with a 20+ collection."
originalsanitizer
"Uncle John's Bathroom Readers are so addictive."
evanman69
Toilet time can be knowledge time.
Living Sky High
"Turning old planes into houses! About 10 years ago I found a company that would do it for you. The wings were decks and the plane was mounted to a pedestal that allowed it to be rotate with the sun!"
BeeEyeAm
Doggerland
"Mega tsunamis. Thousand foot walls of water moving at hundreds of mph? It happens more than you would think. The Azore-Gibraltar fault will cause one one day. There evidence they happened a few times in the Pacific. It doesn't take a meteor to happen, it could be an underwater landslide (Doggerland), or a large section of a volcanic island shearing off and falling into the ocean (Oahu). Doggerland is another rabbit hole that is worth googling."
KD_Burner_Account133
Hitting the Keys
"Mechanical keyboards. I wanted to buy one, so I started researching and watching videos of reviews. I went deeper and deeper, seeing special cables, obscure companies, the tons of switches, etc etc."
"I stopped when a Youtuber I watched made a video asking her viewers and discord users to stop bullying and harassing her for using some kind of switches or keycaps. I bought my keyboard and never went back to that crazy fandom."
NirvanaForce
In the Sky
"I worked in administration at an aviation academy for a few years and decided I’d start listening to aviation podcasts since I didn’t know much about it. I came across a plane crash podcast that talks about crashes in history and how it improved the safety of flying."
"I was fascinated by it, and found myself gradually needing to know more and listening to more of the same type of podcasts, watching videos, and listening to black box recordings. It was eerie but interesting at the time. Now, I regret it tremendously because since then I’ve developed horrible anxiety when flying."
contagiousphrase
The Big Questions
"Spent a lot of time in the 'quantum consciousness' rabbit hole. I had just deconstructed from religion and wanted answers about life, death, and reality. It was long before I made peace with not knowing. I spent around a year obsessed with quantum experiments, psychedelics, and the general philosophy of consciousness."
excusetheblood
Lives (and chores) can be put on serious hold when you find a juicy enough topic to research!
Well, what rabbit holes have you gotten lost in? Let us know in the comments below.
CW: Graphic imagery and accidents.
No one leaves this life without scars.
We witness so many awful things on a daily basis.
How could we not be followed by it all?
Messed up things are just part of the deal of living I guess.
One minute you're walking along on a bright sunny day, then boom, you're a witness to a murder.
Or some such craziness.
That's why I stay home a lot.
Redditor Who_Did_You_Expect1 wanted to hear about the things from our memories that still haunt our nightmares, so they asked:
"What's the most f--ked up thing you saw that still haunts you to this day?"
Living through peril is unimaginable. I've been luckier than most.
Tragic
"I watched cancer kill my baby brother. He was in grade school when I was in college. 25 years, and I still see it in my dreams."
TheDigitalRanger
Ay Dios mio, Dios mio!
"When I was about 8, my sister and I were walking with my mom to a bus stop to see my grandma in Mexico city. There was a lady on a bike crossing the intersection that we had just crossed ourselves but she didn't stop in time to the next one and didn't look both ways, she didn't have time to stop her bike. All I remember is the lady making the beginning of a scream as a white old muscle car ran over her (bike and all) at a high speed."
" remember the sound it made as it broke everywhere. My mother took her sweater off as she screamed and covered both my sister's and my head from looking, but it was too late. I remember looking at my sister with tears in her eyes, and I was too shocked to react or comprehend what I had just seen happened. A lot of people immediately surrounded the place, and the driver came out of his car and held his head with his hands after seeing the lady on the pavement."
"I didn't look at the lady anymore. I remember hearing people screaming in shock. My mother told my dad later as she cried. I remember hearing her wake up screaming for weeks after this saying: ay Dios mio, Dios mio! Still makes my heart race when I think about it."
amahied
I Quit
"I was a news photographer for a while in the 90’s. I got called out to an accident. A high school girl ran into the back of a semi. As I was shooting, I noticed her wallet was on the ground. It had a plastic picture holder and the wind was flipping back and forth. I saw her prom pictures and shots of her with her family."
"I quit being a news photographer shortly after. I never forgot that day, and it still haunts me."
No_Confusion4720
Images
"I saw the aftermath rather than the actual event. A woman was walking home from the grocery store late at night. She crossed the road without using the crosswalks and got hit by an SUV. The two images cemented in my mind are of her, embedded in the windshield, and the driver of the car standing a little ways down the street vomiting. I've never seen someone look so utterly broken as the way the driver looked. I can't imagine what he was going through."
GrowlyBear2
Everyday
"When I was 16 I was in a car wreck with my best friend since 3rd grade. I pulled him from the car with a broken shoulder while he was bloody, lifeless, limp. He died within the hour, not long after the ambulance got us. It’s been 18 years and I still think about it every single day."
oil_can_guster
I couldn't imagine living with that.
I also couldn't move...
"Coming to after getting hit by a vehicle as a pedestrian. Was face down, all I could see was blood soaked road and thought 'f**k, that doesn't look good.' I also couldn't move. The last thing I remember seeing before that was the grill of the vehicle. I still get jumpy when I catch a vehicles grill out of the corner of my eye and I'm not expecting it to be there."
"I'd seen a lot of accidents prior to that, but something about it being my own blood hit different."
"And yes, I had the right of way and was crossing in the proper place, at the proper time. Driver plain a** wasn't paying attention. It was daylight to boot, so no reason they couldn't see me."
Sweet_Force1478
Bad Dreams
"I was volunteering with my k9 working with NYC emergency services and chief Patell during 911 WTC attacks. We were in the middle of where the twin towers used to stand The thick gray dust, horrible smell of burnt things and dead people was all around but when the dogs started to find bodies and body parts it really freaked me out and I will forever live with this reality that seems like a bad dream."
DjCanicus
Missing
"A family of four that had burned in a plane crash. I used to do a woodland search and rescue, and we saw a lot of wild crap, but I still have dreams about what I saw when we went to look for a missing plane."
JalenTargaryen
Goodness life is dark sometimes.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Let's just be honest: the dating scene can be rough, especially when you're not sure if that person likes you back or not.
Some people, however, are very comfortable with their dating histories and believe there's a certain "cheat code" to confirming if someone is interested.
But for those of us who have always been bad at flirting and consider ourselves "oblivious" to other people's advances and compliments, maybe there could be some hope for us after all with these tips.
Redditor Independent_Slide932 asked:
"What are signs that there's sexual tension between you and someone?"
Their Undivided Attention
"It's serious eye contact for me, like when they would rather admire you than look anywhere else. It just makes it so obvious."
- GoGoHesHere
Butterflies
"For me, it's not just the eye contact itself, but when the eye contact is made, the two of you are in your own little world. There’s communication happening in that eye contact that you aren’t having with other people."
- la_metisse
The Thrill of the 'Chase'
"To answer the actual question OP asked, it’s finding reasons for eye contact."
"It’s 'accidentally' making physical contact. It’s always ending up sitting next to each other in a group."
"It’s a tingly tight feeling in your guts."
"It’s a beautiful pain to experience. It’s almost more fun than actually 'getting' the other person."
- AllAfterIncinerators
Literal Physical Attraction
"Angling. Always feeling like your center of gravity is shifting towards them."
- thelibrariangirl
Interested or Not?
"There's a regular who comes into my work who makes serious serious 'seductive' eye contact with me and has a smile that looks flirty."
"But he's also hot as f**k. He's just incredibly attractive. So like, just because it's making me turn to jelly doesn't mean it's anything other than just being friendly and having a regular smile to him."
- MangoMambo
It is, Indeed, ...Tense
"It's that awkward, 'I want to f**k this person, and I'm pretty sure this person wants to f**k me, but I'm not sure enough about it to actually make a move.'"
"That's sexual tension."
- Grueaux
Sounds Awkward
"It can manifest in a lot of ways. Usually, sexual tension develops when two people are attracted to somewhat attracted to each other. The funny part is, sometimes they aren't even fully conscious of it, or want to acknowledge it."
"That is where the tension lies. There is a reason why both are not participating in healthily acknowledging attraction for each other. It can look like tense awkwardness, constant fighting, overt flirtatiousness without any progression, and even consciously ignoring/avoiding the other person."
- EimiCiel
Silent Communication
"It's a shared gaze that at once leaves you both relaxed and on edge. It's like being old friends with a stranger."
"It's like an inside joke that isn't funny, it's sexy. I mean, it could be funny or sexy, but you see what I mean, it's a common understanding."
"It's like, 'You've got a secret, and I know it, and I've got a secret, and you know it, and the secret is the same thing, and we both know it, and it's so f**king delicious that we both know that without discussing it. The secret is nothing and everything, it's the knowing and sharing and the edging that is wonderful."
"It is something that is involuntary, but also once you've experienced it (enough), you can put yourself in that mode, make eye contact with a sexy stranger, and they may respond positively. It won't be as good as spontaneous mutual attraction, but you can put the signals out, 'Hey, I dig you, are you interested?'"
"Some people that you have that intense mutual attraction for aren't the right one(s) for you, except that they are the right ones to practice making that connection with. The person who is perfect for you might be someone who grows into the right emotional responses... and that's true of you, for them, as well."
"And lastly, you can choose to ignore both the mutual and asserted versions; the right relationship choices are both an emotional and intellectual decision, don't rely on one exclusively."
- im_dead_sirius
A List of Obvious Signals
"Reading signals is tough, I’m glad I don’t have to date these days."
"But some legit signals I’ve learned, in no particular order:"
"Prolonged or suggestive eye contact."
"Body positioning mirrors yours or stands closer than typical in your culture."
"Playing with hair when you interact."
"Light unconscious brushing up against or touching."
"If seated, leaning forward towards you frequently and/or touching you hand in a friendly way."
"Flushed or light blushing when they interact with you but not others."
"Suggestive teasing."
"Excessive awkwardness that isn’t the case with them around other people. Especially if they straight up start babbling like a loon."
"Awkward silences you could cut with a knife but they still keep seeking you out."
- AndrogynousRain
When Someone Gets It Wrong
"It’s hard to explain. Basically, it’s a nervous, delicious breathless feeling when they are close to you. You both go out of your way to stand just a little bit closer to each other."
"The sad thing is, some people think they 'feel' this with someone just because the other person is being friendly and misread signals. I once had a guy insist that we had sexual tension simply because I twisted my hair."
"He told me that twisting my hair was a 'mating signal.'"
"I told him that I had been twisting my hair has been a nervous habit of mine since I was a toddler, but of course, he wanted to believe I was interested and insisted that I must secretly want him."
- Joygernaut
Obvious to Other People First
"When other people pick up on it."
- The_She_Ghost
Responding to Looks
"When they suddenly look and hold eye contact and then look away. (Low)"
"When they look and notice you're looking then they run their hand through their hair. (Medium)"
"When they notice you looking and suddenly gently bite their lip looking away. (High)"
"When they notice you’re looking and do something to draw attention to their body either stretch and reveal skin or adjust an intimate part of their clothing. (Extreme)"
"Each of the above will make you get butterflies as you know that she knows AND that she knows that you know."
- DragonofDojima_
Trying to Keep the Conversation Going
"When there's a lull in the conversation, and eye contact is maintained while you both are trying to figure out what to say next."
- djpack
Looking But Not Looking
"Catching glances, by either party. The kind where they’re looking at you and don’t think you’ll look up or at them. Then suddenly the ceiling is really interesting to them when you make eye contact."
- HuxEffect
The Classic Note Trick
"When they hand you a piece of paper that says:"
"'Do you think that there is sexual tension between us?'"
"'[ ] Yes or [ ] No'"
- xaradevir
While we'd all love for the dating scene and general flirting to be straight-forward, simple, and stress-free, this thread serves as a reminder that it comes easily for some while being a puzzle for others.
At the end of the day, if you're interested in someone, the easiest thing to do, though it's terrifying, might be to ask them.
Anyone with any amount of dating experience knows at least a few things that they love in a relationship and a few things they find unsavory.
Just like discovering our boundaries and what qualifies as a relationship deal breaker, most of us generally have a few rules that we tend to live by in every relationship, whether it's romantic, platonic, or professional.
Curious to learn some rules to live by, Redditor aytmamatov_musa asked:
"What relationship rule have you memorized forever?"
Actions Speak Louder than Words
"I can't remember the exact wording, but something to the effect of: Pay more attention to how invested your partner is in the relationship, not how much they say they are."
- why_im_single
Know Who Holds the Power
"I remember when I first realized that the person who has the most control in a relationship (especially ending it) is the person that cares about the relationship the least."
"When I thought of all the relationships that I had been in (not just sexual) and how one person decided sometimes months ahead of time that the relationship was over, I remember how oblivious the other person was when it ended."
"By the way, this can also be applied to employment relationships as well."
- Mo_Jack
Don't Fight for Someone's Attention
"If someone does not want to hear you, there is no way you can phrase anything to make them listen."
"This applies to all types of relationships, but I learned it from trying so hard to have a healthy relationship with my mother. Then when I left at 25, she responded by filing a missing person's report, hiring a PI (Personal Investigator), harassing my friends, and hacking my email and bank accounts to monitor my activity."
"This also ties into: abusers see you taking away their ability to abuse you, as an egregious theft of their rightful property."
- CurrentSingleStatus
Be a United Front
"Problems aren’t You vs Me. They’re Us vs The Problem."
- FilecakeAbroad
No Codependent Relationships Here
"You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped."
- Diesel07012012
Be Honest About Your Feelings
"Listen to how you describe your partner to friends, or how you think at the moment how you're describing your partner to them. That will tell you a lot about how you feel about them."
"If you're nervous about introducing them, listen to why. If you're apologizing for their actions, pausing to reframe positive ways to speak about them, or ignoring the red flags, then listen to that instinct. If you're constantly talking about the problems or hiding them, pay attention to why."
"I remember being in one relationship and having those feelings of, 'Should I introduce her to the family, when I talk to others about her, I'm exhausted from some argument, etc.'"
"I remember another relationship, thinking, 'Oh, I would love her to meet the family, she'd get along with everyone's kids, my friends would love her, I just had this great moment with her, and I wanted to tell people about it, I enjoy talking about her.'"
"When you experience that difference (and you have the wisdom and experience to know you're not being deluded by things like abuse or newness or getting caught up in a big fire that's going to burn out fast), it tells you so much."
- ConvenienceStoreDiet
Be Mindful of Reciprocation
"Something a friend of mine once told me was, 'Always ask yourself if this relationship isn't taking more from you than it is giving you.'"
"It saved me a lot of heartbreak."
- Interferonno2fan
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
"If they don’t respect your boundaries while dating, they won’t respect them in marriage."
- Rachel1578
Cheaters Gonna Cheat
"My best mate got with a woman who cheated on her then-boyfriend to be with him. Then my mate and she stayed together for four years, but she ended up cheating on him with another guy that she is now dating."
"I warned him in the beginning and advised him not to get into a relationship with her to start with. If she can do it with one guy, she can do it with another."
"His argument was that her then-boyfriend was not good enough for her which was why she is cheating on him. But what he failed to realize was that no one is the best in the world, and if she decides that he isn’t good enough for her in the future, then she will cheat on him too. And that is exactly what happened."
- dp9116
Acknowledge Red Flags
"Red flags look like normal flags when wearing rose-colored glasses."
- Mezame_Drgn
Common Interests Aren't Everything
"Having a lot in common doesn’t equal a good relationship. It’s just a decent starting foundation."
- ironicallyunstable
Don't Go to Bedroom Angry - Or Do?
"I wouldn't say forever, yet, but since becoming a wife, I have learned that it's okay to sleep off a fight. Don't have to 'resolve' everything right then and there. Give each other space to let steam off and talk in the morning."
- beanedjibe
Be Loved for Who You Are
"Do not change your personality if you don't want to... I didn't realize until the breakup, that my ex did not like me, just the idea of what I could be..."
- Bethedr
Know the Difference
"When an argument comes out of nowhere, ask 'Are you yelling at me, or to me?'"
"It's helped with a lot of arguments. Sometimes we just need a backboard to scream at, and nine out of ten times, that backboard is your significant other."
"A lot of arguments get bad just because they don't know you are releasing anger, which is healthy in the right way."
- spenser1994
Some of these seem pretty simple, but they can make a huge impact in a relationship, if not also to the trajectory and health of a person's life. By understanding our own worth and how it's valued by others, we gave give ourselves a much happier ever after than we might have otherwise settled for.