I tell you what:
He would look at certain corners of the internet and immediately start crying.
"Jesus returns and sees our world, whats the first thing he says?"
The modern era of the world can be highly influential, and who can say what Jesus might be into the moment he arrives.
I'm Sure There's A Lot He'd Enjoy, First Off
"As carpenter, he would probably really dig the whole IKEA thing."
"As a fisherman you know he'd dig Bass Pro lol...."
"He'd enjoy the abundance of foot spas though."
On The Flip Side Of Those Feelings...
“Welp… time to tell dad to start from scratch again.”
" Dad, get the meteor. We clearly need a new f-cking creature to roam. "
"I don’t think he would say anything, he would just uncontrollably sob for a full 45 minutes before returning to Heaven to tell God to remove the Sun."
He'd Probably Be A Good Party Friend, Though?
“Anybody got water?”
"Best drinking buddy ever. Water is typically free at most restaurants, so I’d be getting free wine. Even at non-alcoholic places."
*rim shot sound effect
"I just flew in from heaven and boy are my arms tired."
"I love the idea of a Jesus that just like Michael Scott. Like he means so well, but is just the most cringe worthy person to listen to or be around."
"I’m picturing Buddy Jesus from Dogma with this personality"
His Tik-Tok Would Go Viral
"Don't forget to like and subscribe and leave a comment bellow!"
"This Rapture brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends"
Religion shouldn't be that hard. You attend service, take the lessons on how to be a better person to heart, and then use those lessons to help guide you and only to a more fulfilled existence.
It's certainly gotten twisted along the way, hasn't it?
Misusing The Point, Completely
*looks at Televangelists flitting about on private jets paid for by parishioners*
“Are you motherf-ckers back? No more humane catch-and-release, where can I get a glue trap big enough for temple moneylenders?”
It's Laid Out There For Us
"You guys couldn't follow ten simple rules?"
"9 out of 10. It's my neighbor's butt I couldn't leave alone..."
One Way Or The Other
"How's he coming about? If he descends from heaven as some kind of spiritual mouthpiece of God, it's probably going to be something along the lines of, "Wrong."
"If he goes the birth canal route again, it'll probably be, "Mama."
Hopefully, and this is a big hope, this world hasn't gotten so twisted that it's not possible to come back from.
Certain Demographics Really Don't Know Their Geographical History
"I died for this?"
"and WTF is this super white dude in all these pictures you're venerating?"
"I like the ones where he's draped in an American flag and holding an assault rifle."
Wonder What His Thoughts Are On All This?
"..... What's with all the crosses? Which part of my story made you think I liked crosses?"
"What's funny is that it was a stake rather than a cross and it was like a gallows - it was a common method of execution. They would put your hands above your head and drive a nail between your ulna and radius - you would slowly suffocate to death. That's why when they stabbed his side liquid flowed out, his lungs had filled with fluid."
"Like a lot of other religious customs it was adopted as part of bringing pagans who already worshipped a cross into the fold, they were allowed to keep their religious ceremonies and symbols just the meaning behind them was changed to be all about Jesus"
"What shouldn't be surprising is that the Cross and Christmas both rose to prominence around the same time."
Gone In A Flash
"One very audible sigh and just vanishes"
The day might never come, at least while we're all here, but we can only hope this world turns into the kind of one where the son of the great creator might be comfortable hanging around for a while. We should all work to turn this world into something a little nicer.
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Everyone has friends who you become less and less close to with each passing year.
This isn't always by choice, though, but simply by circumstance, when your lives both take different directions.
In some cases, however, we do find ourselves making a very conscious decision to stop spending time with certain friends.
Owing to the fact that these people might not be our friends after all.
In certain cases, the communication ends as the result of one specific moment.
Redditor D1Tytos was curious to hear the triggering moment when people decided to end their friendships, leading them to ask:
"What's the moment that made you realize your so called 'friends' were really just d*cks?"
Lack of Compassion
"When I got cancer and they never checked on me."- justagirlx19
Being Taken Advantage Of
"Worked with and rented a large house with my friend group after high school."
"Dumb and inexperienced with life, I didn’t know they were lying to me about bills and making me pay more/whatever they felt like until a family member asked about it."
"Eventually they all looked at moving into a new place without telling me."
"I felt guilty and confessed they would basically steal my money to shop with and planned on moving out while I was visiting family so I came back to an empty place and responsible for everything."- dylandbloom
"I found myself getting irritated whenever they called/hit me up."
"Because every time they'd only ask for something , never just to talk to hang out."- ybbetter_ratio
Happy Birthday Indeed...
"The last time I tried throwing a birthday party for myself."
"It always seemed like the ratio of people who said they'd come to people who actually showed was...lacking."
"But my final attempt."
"I had 20+ people say they'd show."
"Exactly one actually came."
"I've never had a birthday party since."
"But I'm still good friends with the one guy who showed."- Lachwen
"They asked to not have one of the people in our group over."
"They didn't want to tell him there was no game, they just wanted him to knock and pretend no one was there."
"I wasn't very cool with this but they didn't want to be 'confrontational' with said person."
"Before the next week rolled around they were saying 'there wasn't going to be anything going on' that Saturday."
"I knew they were full of sh*t, but went by to confirm they were all there that Saturday, and sure enough they all were."
"Just dropped them like a sack of potatoes and never spoke to them again, no reason to."- MickCollins
"Had 3 friends."
"2 I liked and 1 I didn't really like at all."
"Turns out they had a secret group chat where they just called me slurs and talked about me behind my back."
"The guy I didn't like sent me screenshots of this and me and him have been friends 3 years now."- c_a_t2·
"When I stopped drinking and realized that’s all we had holding our friendship together."- BillieBoJangers·
"I remember I was severely depressed and I called someone I thought was my friend."
"When he realized I wanted to talk about real sh*t he made up an excuse to hang up."
"After that he kept ignoring my calls."
"What's crazy is I was there for that dude when his wife left him for another guy."
"There were times where I wanted to escape his depressing stories, but sat there and listened because he was my friend."- horsetoothjack@ss119
"Couples retreat of 3 pairs, other 2 girlfriends flaked last minute, leaving mine."
"They still came, then had the nerve to tell mine the trip would’ve been better without her right to her face when I was out surfing."
"This was never established as a guys trip at any point."
"She fed them, organized the trip as a whole, etc."
"Guy lies about his well-being being bad cus he loves how worried someone reacts."
"I called him out on it when he lied to someone else and he literally said 'I enjoy winding people up, I love how they react when I say x'."
"That's gross to me."- PastaNotFound
Ending a friendship is never pleasant.
But time heals everything, and over the course of a couple months, it might become evidently clear how much better off your life is without certain people in it.
We all have songs that we can't get out of our heads, resulting in our randomly humming them while walking down the street.
Among the most infectious songs are theme songs to TV shows.
Be it from tuning in every week to catch up with Friends who will always" be there for [us]", or being "stuck in the middle" of a Grace And Frankie binge, we often find ourselves humming the theme songs of our favorite shows more often than we find ourselves quoting the best lines.
Even if it means humming an infectious melody to a wordless piece of music (Will & Grace or Seinfeld anyone?)
Redditor LinksOtherUncle was curious to hear what people considered the all time greatest theme song to a TV show, leading them to ask:
"What is the greatest TV Show theme song of all-time?"
"Duck Tales, of course."- Beautiful-Stranger20
"Believe It Or Not It's Just Me!"
"Greatest American Hero!"- GayHole
"The Truth Is Out There"...
"X Files"- CheliBeanBeardx files GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"Bum Bum BUM bum...bum bum BUM BUM bum bum bum..."
"Sanford and Son"- jkulpa
The Original MCU
"90s X-Men."- Ourobius
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale..."
"Gilligan's Island"- Cantbetoobad1953Bored Gilligans Island GIF by TV Land ClassicGiphy
"It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights..."
"The Muppet Show theme song!"- Poorkiddonegood8541
"A World Of Criminals Who Operate Above The Law"
"Knight Rider!"- BladeBronson
"Heroes in a half-shell, TURTLE POWER!"
"The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon theme."- Petulant_Platypusninja turtles GIF by Teenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesGiphy
"You want to go where everybody knows your name."
The only thing more comforting than turning on our TVs to revisit a familiar town with familiar characters, is the comforting familiar music which greets us on our return.
Who hasn't had a moment when they learned what they thought was a revelatory piece of information, ran to share it with their friends, and were then greeted by a barrage of stone faces?
Owing to the fact that what we only just learned a few minutes ago, was apparently common knowledge.
These include your favorite movie star was in fact the offspring of another movie star, what gelatin is actually made of, or little tricks and strategies which make certain experiences so much more pleasurable.
For no particular reason, some people learn these things far later than just about everyone else.
Redditor Big_Piccolo_8369 was curious to learn which bits of common knowledge people were late to the party in knowing, leading them to ask:
"What is common knowledge that you found out way too late?"
"Always eat before shopping at Costco."- mtl_jim
Sometimes Silence Is Golden
"Just because I hold an opinion on something doesn't mean that I need to share it."
"I spent WAY too much of my early adulthood inserting my viewpoint into discussions that I wasn't really a part of."- xjuggernaughtx
How To Hold People Accountable
"Always get it in writing"- GKnivestake notes GIFGiphy
How To Keep Friendships Strong
"Simply asking 'how are you' once in awhile is all it takes to not fall apart from old friends."- a_burdie_from_hell
Know Your Worth
"Hard work isn’t always the answer."
"When I worked a minimum wage job, I would work hard and not take breaks, so a great job, and always finish early."
"I just then got told to pick up the slack for the employees who spent their time goofing off."
"Never got a promotion, raise, or even a 'hey, good job'."- Disco-Onion
Think Twice Before Lending Money
"That when people ask to borrow money especially if it's a friend or family just expect to never see it again."- Different-Chest-5716Loan Borrow GIFGiphy
Being well-educated in one area doesn't mean that a person can't be a total idiot in other areas."- Red-belliedOrator
Never Make Decisions When Angry
"'Every action made in anger ends in sorrow'."
"An attorney, when I was 24."- yours121110
"Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings."- YoschnitzelAngry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
The Importance Of Sleep
"Going too long without sleep can impair your ability to drive the same way as drinking too much alcohol."- SuvenPan
We're all bound to be looked down upon every now and then for just learning something everyone else already knows.
Though always remember, the wisest ones are those who never want to stop learning.
I'm a simple person when it comes to video games.
I prefer to go with nostalgia.
All of these fancy deals put me on sensory overload.
But my goodness the technology really has come a long way.
And there are actual storylines and drama.
Good for y'all gamers.
Redditor TolisKoutrowanted everyone to list their thoughts on the greatest of the great.
"What video game do you consider a masterpiece?"
I love you Ms. Pac-Man. Always and forever.
It's a Ridevideo game physics jet GIFGiphy
"Roller Coaster Tycoon 2."
"Loved RCT2. The canned child laughing sound and the chain lifts noise are permanently burned into my brain."
my whole childhood...
"Man I miss Valve... Their games were designed in a way many developers could only dream of, they were revolutionary in almost everything they laid their hands on."
"Yeah that’s my whole childhood, still some of the best games… and actually playing HL- alyx for my very first VR experience was nuts. Loved it."
"They made a new game based in the Portal universe. It’s really short but it’s free and funny."
Better than Perfect
For real. The first one was absolutely perfect and then they somehow managed to make the second one even better."
"Portal 1's only fault is that it's very short. I just replayed it a decade since I last touched it and I cleared it in under 2 hours. Portal 2 had so much more room to add more mechanics, more puzzles, and more story. It's the perfect sequel."
"Half Life 2 was brilliant. After that I'd call out WoW Classic. It's hated now, but the first couple of years it was magic. It was a completely new experience exploring such a massive open world and nobody knew anything. So much fun on Ventrilo. Will remember forever. Championship manager in the early 90s. Maybe what I have played the most. I'll mention Fallout series, Witcher and Skyrim as well."
Simply the BestMovie Raise The Roof GIF by Star WarsGiphy
"Star Wars knights of the old Republic. KOTOR. Surprised it hasn’t been said."
"Absolutely! I played it as a kid and it practically taught me life lessons. KOTOR 2 is a little darker but quite good also."
How can you even tell any of the Star Wars games apart?
FAVE!!Episode 8 Mario GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"Super Mario World. It’s perfect. I don’t think there’s a single thing about it that I would change."
"That game is awesome. That and Mario 64. But I love the soundtrack from Yoshi’s Island."
"Deus Ex the first one."
"At the time the open ended options and story presentation were both really impressive. You could really appreciate that the developer committed to that (e.g. you could physically destroy most locked doors). I think a lot of games stop short of doing that because they don’t want to allow brute force solutions in addition to more elegant ones."
"Journey. Not as long and vast as many games here but an artistic masterpiece in my books. It’ll age much better than most games too because of the simplicity."
"I absolutely love journey; the music mixed with the visual story telling is absolutely stunning. Also it has, imo, one of the most interesting multiplayer experiences of any game."
"It’s def one of my top three games, but Gris’ artwork and music are peak for me. Also if you really enjoyed the exploration of Journey, you’ll probably love Outer Wilds. Great game, it’ll leave you wishing you could forget it and play it all again."
"Chrono Trigger, if you know you know, and if you don't, go play it immediately."
"Definitely, I feel like some of the best RPGs came from the SNES and Sega era. Chrono Trigger, FF 6, Secret of Mana, super Mario RPG, Earthbound, shining force 2, Phantasy Star 4. Still some of my favorites that i try to revisit every year or so."
"Came here for Chrono. Time travel just makes for amazing stories, and I love how you can make the game different each play through."
i can see your...Master Chief Game GIF by HaloGiphy
"Halo 3. Incredible story and thrilling gameplay. Hilariously fun multiplayer. Fantastic community. Nostalgia."
Video games have surely come a long way from Atari.
What would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.