Has anything ever happened and you just feel every part of your body clench up in response?
Alternatively has someone ever said something and you just feel a little part of your soul fly out the window?
Well, you are not alone. Daily, someone, somewhere is cringing to hard that they're dying a little on the inside.
Here were some of their answers.
Farted and sneezed at the same time whilst queuing at a fast food place. Because of the sneeze, the fart shot out so fast it actually hurt my butt so i screamed "ouch!" As it happened.
Felt like a proper fool. Kl0pp0s
In the 7th grade.....
In the 7th grade, I got my back to school clothes. For some reason, I thought yellow pants and a yellow Hawaiian shirt looked AWESOME . I was excited to wear this new outfit. We were not wealthy, so having new clothes like this was a big deal for me.
Sitting in my English class I received a note. It said "Are you the mustard man?" and was signed by every.person.in.the..class and as I read it, they all burst out in laughter. All of them.
Its a moment in life where you have to laugh or cry and either way you die inside.
I chose to laugh.
Kids are cruel. siberian
When I was 18 and at a carnival with a group of people I knew from school, including my long-time crush. At some point, people started dropping off from the group, going on rides, getting food, that kind of stuff. Eventually, it was only me, my crush and my little sister (little as in almost 16). I kept waiting for her to leave, too, to go find some of her friends or whatever.
After hanging out together for another 15 or so minutes, it slowly dawned on me that it wasn't him and me waiting for her to leave, but them waiting for me to leave. They shortly after became a couple for a few months.
It later turned out that they got to know each other at my 18th birthday party two months prior (they never met before). When my sister got back later that evening she told me that and said "you don't mind, do you?"
I did mind, very much. WgXcQ
I hate getting packages.
I received a set of boxes in the mail with no return address on a Monday morning. When I opened the boxes I started noticing stuff that is my mom's (her handwriting on notes) this seems to be some sort of care package from my mom! (Was in college at the time). As I opened more, there were all these documents? I was confused, then I found the note. My mom committed suicide but planned it all out. She sent me a list of "things to take care of now that she's gone". Now I hate getting packages. Natyskillz
I was 10.
When my dad told me he was obligated to love me, but he didn't have to like me.
I was 10. And I was absolutely crushed. levelonesc
"I have baby brains"
I found a resident at my work (CNA) crying and when asked what was wrong he responded;
"I have baby brains."
For some context, I work at a traumatic brain injury center. For these types of people, this is their permanent home. And coming from someone who is usually caught in a three sentence loop, the self realization was something I didn't think he was capable of.
"EWWWW NO I DON'T!"
In 4th grade, my school had a fundraiser around Valentine's Day where you could buy a carnation for $1, or a rose for $2; it would then be delivered with a message to the person of your choosing. I liked a boy in my class, so I decided to buy him a rose and write a note from his "secret admirer."
Well, I couldn't wait for the rose to be delivered, so I wrote a note and slid it under his book when he got up to go to the bathroom. His friend saw because I'm about as stealthy as an elephant on roller skates. Friend took the note, read it out loud when the boy got back. The rose came not long after. The boy took it, looked at me, snapped the rose in half, and threw it in the trash.
Also there was the recurring instance of being the target of "My friend likes you!" "EWWWW NO I DON'T!" Does wonders for a girl's self-esteem, especially since my mom continued the insults at home lol. ymcmbrofisting
When you gotta blow....
When I was about 9 I was in a school assembly (all 400~ students and all teachers). At our school assembly's the students sat cross legged on wooden floor in the sports hall.
Well, I had to fart, and I assumed it would be quiet. It was not. It ended up being extremely loud and was amplified by the wooden floor. letsgetblitzed
At a company event. As we left, my colleagues were nowhere to be found as I walked outside. So I waited there. Turns out they were taking a group photo without me. Breadstick_Bowtie
Was on a Skype call for work with about 25 other people. Had the mic on my computer turned all the way up and was typing on my computer almost continuously. About 15 minutes into the meeting, someone finally IM's me to turn off my mic because nobody could hear what was being said. DeathSpiral321
I had a customer who was holding and examining an awkward, fragile, and expensive item with one hand... I asked her to please hold it with two.
She turned to look at me. She only had one arm.
When I was in high school I used to swim competitively, so speedos, hat, etc etc.
One morning session I was running a bit late and got changed super quick and went out to the poolside with my gear getting ready for the training session, when one of the girls (who I happened to fancy at the time) informed me that one of my testicles was hanging out the side of my speedos. I thought it felt a bit breezy as I ran out the changing room but never crossed my mind what had happened. I look back and laugh about it now but my god the embarrassment at the time. I still wonder how many others saw and didn't say anything hahaha
At The Bee
5th grade spelling bee. I made it to the school-wide level, which was the third round in (first i had to beat my own class, then beat the other 5th grade classes, and next was the whole school).
My first word was biscuit. Easy.
My second word was soccer. Also easy.
Except for the fact that I was a bit nervous being up on stage, with the whole school in attendance, including my mom who was there for support. It got in my head a little bit.
I heard soccer and thought "okay, this is easy. Remember, there are two C's in soccer. two C's, two C's..."
*step up to the microphone*
*instantly knew what I did*
*facepalmed myself in front of everyone*
Despite this realization, and the fact I had already lost, my brain kept the letters mixed up and I spelled the rest of the word.
Any COSSER fans here? Or, as you may call it in your country, BUTFOL?
Interviewing a potential student who is interested in my school, he has a huge green circle around his eye.
"Wow, quite a black eye! what'd you do?"
"I was born like this"
Up Up And Away
Once bought a bottle of Pepsi in a meal deal but didn't have space to put it in my bag. In my infinite wisdom, I decided to pour the contents into my reusable water bottle so I wouldn't have to carry both bottles. It was one of them bottles that has the straw in it and you flip the top up when you want a drink.
Opened it in a little hardware store later in the day and the gas had built up in the bottle and it spurted out like a water gun all over the wall and ceiling. I was so embarrassed and tried my best to clean it up for them but all the staff could do was laugh. One of them told me I was stood in the perfect spot for the CCTV to pick it up and he would be watching it back later.
In And Out
I went to an interview once where one of the two people interviewing me asked if I knew French. I said I knew core French so they decided to conduct the interview completely in French...
I can understand when someone speaks French to me, I can read and write fluently in French, but I cant for the life of me speak French. It was so bad that one of the interviewers got up and left halfway through and didn't come back.
Needless to say I didn't get the job.
Last year a work friend of mine died. After his funeral, a large group of us went to pub to have a few drinks in remembrance of him. Someone suggested to get a group photo of everyone there. I was asked to take the photo.
It probably shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did, but it did.
Pity Is The Worst
When my cousin (almost brother) died from a weird disease, and all our family members who'd watched us grow up together and be inseparable, would look at me with pity and silent compassion. it just made me feel worse every time. they still do it every now and then, even though tomorrow will be three years since he passed, and it still makes me feel awful.
Down The Drain
I knew I was coming down with what I was sure was going to be an absolute bastard of a cold. Already beginning to feel a little fuzzy in the brain, I decided to make myself some chicken soup in advance to get me through the worst of it. I chopped some carrots, chopped some onions, threw in a chicken carcass and over the course of about four hours made the most bomb stock you could imagine.
Then my dumb self poured it through a colander directly into the sink. It took me a good thirty seconds before I realised what I'd done, then I just sat on the kitchen floor for about ten minutes, gazing at the opposite wall and wishing real life had a CTRL-Z function.
When Their Joke Went Too Far
I crochet and my old boss at work asked me for a scarf. He requested lilac, which I thought was odd, but he was super insistent and even sent me a color chart pointing out the exact shade he wanted. I bought the yarn and made him a scarf, but then ran into him and mentioned the scarf again and he started cracking up saying he was joking. Definitely embarrassing but I'm glad I didn't actually bring it with me and give him the scarf only to find out he was being an jerk. I wound up giving it to another coworker who was watching the whole thing play out and she was super appreciative!
Love is crazy. I've finally come to that conclusion. And marriage, you take your life in your hands and just throw caution to the wind in hopes of survival with that step.
When love falls apart, things can get real messy, real fast. And I've always been stunned by people's behavior when love subsides.
More often than not, it's like they become different people. Sometimes people are beset by tragedy and grief and sometimes people smile wide and move on. It's a coin toss.
But my favorite post divorce personality has to be the sudden super villain. Oh honey watch out for them!
Redditor u/hyperyog wanted to hear all the tea from the divorcees out there by asking:
Divorced Redditors, what is the craziest thing you or your former spouse did after divorce?
I once had a friend who burned her ex's house down when he wasn't home. He had started seeing someone almost immediately, so she thought, lemme set their sparks. Yeah, she wasn't well. Whatever happened to just a quick goodbye?
Swipeddean winters crying GIF by MayhemGiphy
"She removed the retaining clips for my windshield wipers, but put the wipers back on the arms. First storm after I got my car back from her, driver side wiper flew off the car on Interstate 40. Good times."
"He wrote suicide notes and put them in my kids backpacks for them/me to find. Then he turned off his phone and went to a coworkers house to play crib and have drinks.. all the while knowing I would be freaking out searching for him thinking he was in danger or worse. Thankfully my kids didn't see the notes and didn't know what was going on. This was just one of the many, many crazy things he did. Two years out and he just recently stopped showing up at my work and driving by my house at night."
A Sad End
"Died of a drug overdose. To be fair, her drug addiction was the reason for the divorce, so maybe that isn't too crazy."
"That's so incredibly difficult to have gone through. I unfortunately know the depths of this kind of pain, and while I'm sure the circumstances surrounding it are different, the loss that still happened is a tragedy. My condolences."
"Stalked me for 5 years. Would make fake social media profiles to try to follow me (which I would block endlessly) and would try to find where I worked so she could talk to me. This lady cheated on me with 7 different men 2 months after we were married. I kicked her a** to the curb and made her sign the court papers."
"When we had our day in court she cried in the judges office while I just wanted to get this crap done. After, my dad was with me and he threw 50 dollars at her and told her to "change your freaking last name." Good guy Pops. I haven't seen or heard from her in about 5 years, thank goodness."
Take it All!skin care spinning GIF by Primal Life OrganicsGiphy
"I had an ex-boyfriend go through my apartment and take back every gift he had given me that he could find. Then he went in my bedside table and took the condoms. And the vibrator he had given me."
See now, when I'm out... I'm out! I don't want to see you, hear from you or know you. I wish you well in life, but please live it far from me. Anyone agree? Clearly not the people here. Let's continue...
For the Boybicycling father and son GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"All I wanted was custody of my son, I gave her everything else except one of our cars. She fought me through 5 hearings, I won. She never came to see him again."
"My ex cheated on me the week my mom died in the hospital. She spent a year and a half trying to get in touch with me. She would call my old work and make fake accounts trying to message me on FB. It was insane. She later sends a certified letter explaining she was sorry that she did what she did and that she aborted our child."
"Wanted me to meet her somewhere so she could apologize face to face. She already married some other guy that she had children with and was still trying to get in touch with me. I never understood her."
"After years of telling me she wanted a child, that she wanted to be a mom, that her life's dream was to be a stay at home mom, she got pregnant with the first guy she slept with while we were getting divorced and put the kid up for adoption even before it was born. This was a long-standing thing with her, she always wanted something (car, house, dog, cat, marriage, etc) and the second she got it she immediately hated it."
"Called me and pretended he had been hit by a car while we were talking. He even tried to voice the crowd that had gathered around his "body." God-awful acting, but pretty funny listening to him try to mimic a woman's voice. Points for trying to be inclusive, I guess."
"I think he was trying to get me to re-live my trauma of being on the phone with a friend who actually HAD been hit by a car while we were talking. Too bad he didn't realize that hearing the real thing is worlds different than hearing a dumba** try to act it out."
"I was sending 600 dollars a month to support my daughter because she's the only thing I give a sh!t about. My ex texts me and tells me I need to be sending 1200 a month because she's broke and can't pay her bills and I should feel guilty about it. She left me for another guy while I was on deployment I told her to go screw herself--call my lawyer."
Pop OffTom Hanks Drinking GIF by The Good FilmsGiphy
"Took the sodas from the fridge as he walked out the door. Dumfounded."
See, I blame Alanis Morissette and her "Jagged Little Pill" album. All I'm going to say is... the secret song. I think she gave people ideas. (I love that song) Y'all, seek therapy if you can't shake people. When it's done, let it be done.
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Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is highly regarded for his delicious plates, his ability to run a solid restaurant, and, let's face it, his stage presence.
He's also a foul-mouthed Brit who is all too willing to dismantle people's self-esteems and compare them to livestock animals.
Alas, as watching all reality television goes, we love to see the crashing and burning.
But what if the shoe was on the other foot? What if you were the one being torn into by the sailor of all chefs, Mr. Gordon Ramsay.
Wondering what horrible dishes were lurking in unknown kitchens all over the place, Redditor FalloutSl*t413 asked:
"What's something you made that was 100% delicious but Gordon Ramsay would slap you for anyway?"
Some people talked about those purely functional meals that are just perfect for piling on enough protein and calories to get through the day.
"My mom used to make us 'Volcanoes.' Mashed potatoes topped with ground beef with some ketchup. I still tear it up to this day."
Quick and Easy
"I make weeknight 'enchiladas.' "
"You stick frozen taquitos in a casserole dish and cover them with canned or frozen chili and cheese. Bake them until everything's hot, serve with a dollop of sour cream. They sound disgusting but they taste amazing, and they take like, five minutes to prep."
"I know it looks like, smells like, and probably tastes like cat food but potted meat sandwiches. Look, when you're poor as hell and you can make 3 sandwiches with one little can that cost like 20 cents, it's pretty good."
"While I'm at it, Treet and bologna are pretty great. I have the taste palette of a raccoon and I like it that way."
"When I was younger I would make this thing where it was a patty melded of:"
- "a can of tuna"
- "two eggs
"And I would eat that almost daily, pan-fried, for lunch. Just slap me now and lets get it over with."
Others shared the recipes they make to feel fancy despite being totally trashy.
A Nuanced Process
"I call them 'chicken puffs.' Some par-cooked chicken (white or dark meat, either works) with sauteed serrano peppers and onions and garlic."
"All wrapped in crescent roll dough in little balls (a bit smaller than a baseball), put in a casserole tray filled juuuuust above the top of the little dough balls with cream of roasted chicken soup. Baked to completion/safety."
"Overly indulgent and delicious."
A Famous Side
"I consistently make a box of pastaroni angel hair and herbs as a side with meals I prepare for people. EVERYONE always asks for the recipe LOL please don't tell my secret"
Just a Couple Additions
" 'Fancy Ramen' Ramen made normal. Don't mix seasoning. Drain water. Add Mayo. Then mix in seasoning. And Volia. A lot of people question it. Until they try it."
Others outlined the things they eat that combine some ingredients it may seem disgusting to mix together.
Throw An Egg On There
"Fu** it lasagna, alternating layers of bread and shredded cheese (your choice which, I use cheddar) then crack an egg on top and put it in the microwave. Old depression meal, but it still holds up."
Hard to Wrap Your Head Around
"As a kid I would eat a banana with a cheese slice. Haven't tried it in years but it might hold up" -- Send_it_to_me
"Let's not" -- Sea-Entertainer-4974
"When I was younger I would make toast with peanut butter on it, then add pepperoni. Delicious then but I cringe thinking about trying it today"
The truly horrifying thing? There are so many more recipes out there that would leave Ramsay trembling.
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People love to talk about food. There are blogs, books, television shows, conversations in bars and farmers markets. In all likelihood, there is a recipe swap happening right this second in some deep corner of a suburb somewhere.
But sometimes talk is a lot of hot air. And the topic of food sure isn't immune to that criticism.
You can't get through a day without some telling you what "you gotta try."
The problem is, talking about food is often far more exciting than the food itself.
Redditor anicaodha asked:
"What food is overhyped?"
Many people were angry about garnishes. They hated the way restaurants try to entice people to eat certain menu items by slapping some kitschy ingredient on there.
A Very Expensive Burger
"Anything with gold flakes, absolutely pointless." -- Spend_Total
"ugh, i just remembered throwing up gold flakes from goldschlager, yuck!" -- spaceygracie12
"Aka how to add a crunch to your dish like a douche." -- CakeBot_TheReckoning
Catches the Eye Though
"Any rainbow food, rainbow grilled cheese, rainbow smoothie..."
"Just a cheap money grab."
No Breath On My Meal Please
"Dragon's breath/ nitro puffs or any dessert that contains liquid nitrogen to make it look cool." -- throwjango
"This stuff exists? God, I'm out of the loop." -- -The-Magic-8-Ball
"Truffle oil, usually doesn't contain a single truffle." -- BlckontheMoon
"The 1 thing I love about Truffle oil is I've never seen someone use it on a cooking competition show and not lose." -- igotmadshirts
Some people talked about the big trends that they just never could quite figure out.
That Almighty Nectar
"Remember when people were treating Nutella like it was the second coming of Christ?" -- Grapezard
"I had an Italian friend once invite me to his birthday party in high school. His mom made a Nutella pie and it was one of the greatest desserts I've never had the pleasure of trying again. It was so simple, like a soft flaky dough covered with Nutella."
"I don't want to come out of the blue and ask this kid for his mom's recipe 15 years later so I'll just suffer I suppose." -- JupiterTarts
"Red velvet is literally a red chocolate cake that has nowhere near enough chocolate and to much red food coloring. It literally was invented when done dudes chocolate turned kinda red when he added vinegar to the chocolate cake mix."
"Friends loved the color, but it was finicky to get the red color without changing flavor of cake, so he decided to use red food coloring."
"Fu**ing Avocado Toast.
"Avocado is a buck. Toast is few cents. Avocado Toast is $10+"
And some discussed the things that people insist are fancy and delectable, but are really just run of the mill entirely.
Meat is Meat?
"steak is good, and I'd even say a high quality steak can be very very good. But people act like it's better than busting a nut and that's just not true. It's just meat"
"Lobster. It's good, but poor value given it's almost always the most expensive protein available."
"Plus most places just drown it in butter, which again, fine, but if all you taste is butter, why spend that much?"
Depends on the House
" 'Housemade' ketchup. Give me the damn Heinz and get your banana aoili mess away from me." -- peanutbutterallytime
"I live in Pittsburgh and I have seen multiple restaurants try and fail to make housemade ketchup work. Every single time they go back to Heinz." -- HooBoy401
So if you find yourself tired of hearing people go on and on about something you don't go wild over, know that there are others fuming too.
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It's not easy to always do the right thing.
Which is why most people don't usually do the right thing. Doing the right thing involves a lot of thought, empathy for others, and a self-awareness of your place in the world. You're not making a choice just for yourself, you're more often than not doing it for someone else. This, in itself, presents a difficult hill for most people to climb so, usually, they feel it's easier to make the selfish choice.
Doesn't mean people always do. They can surprise you sometimes.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
What's the hardest moral decision you've ever had to make?
Even when the choice amounts to something small, it can still matter to someone else.
How Dare You Make Me Morally Astute?!
"This is small potatoes compared to most of the people on this thread but many years ago I was travelling and had very little money. I went to a stall at a market, handed them a 10 dollar bill. Item cost 5 dollars but instead of handing me a five dollar note, the handed me a 50."
"I was walking away from the stall when noticed. My first thought was BONUS. But I had lately been hanging out with a bunch of people who were really into karma. So I stormed back to the stall, slammed the 50 down on the counter and told them off for making me make moral decisions. Lady behind the counter was like "ahhhhhh, thanks"
Didn't Believe The First Time, But Can't Deny Visual Evidence
"I told a co-worker his wife was cheating on him. It ruined our friendship for a good amount of time, until he caught her himself."
"To bad he couldn't just believe you."
Owning Up To The Mistake
"Fessing up to an error I made at work that cost the company 5k. I was a manager and misinterpreted a sales promotion. I almost lost my job, this is the one time that telling the truth actually saved me. It's true what they say that the cover up is usually worse than the crime. Lesson learned.."
Doing something morally correct when it comes to family can be tricky. On one hand, you don't want to ruffle the feathers of the people you're going to be related to for the rest of your life...which is how family works.
On the other hand, do the right thing.
Making The Best Call For Your Children
"Removing the mother of my two sons out of their lives completely as she was unfit and abusive while I was on deployment. They were 3-4 years old then and now they are 17 and 15 with their mother never attempting to come back into their lives which I would prefer at this point."
Because They're Going To Be Sad Later...
"My grandmother died, and I lied to my parents about it."
"My grandparents were 95 and my parents hadn't had a vacation in 30 years. So when she passed away with only 5 days remaining on their vacation, my family decided not to ruin it for them; instead, we'd plan the entire funeral and if my mother wanted to make adjustments when she returned, we'd arrange it for her; there was nothing they could do to get her back."
"Having to decide on the DNR (do not resuscitate) order for my father who had been victim to a massive stroke..."
"I know millions have done it before and millions will again but to me it was devastating....."
"As a health worker, you did the right thing by your father. I've come across families of patients who keep them alive for their own peace of mind while the patient themselves is tired and in alot of pain mentally and physically from the constant treatments and would rather rest from it all. Don't feel bad for your decision."
Never doubt your actions when it comes to protecting children.
"Calling CPS on a student's family after she begged me not to. CPS did an investigation and she was pissed at me for months until the vice principal had a talk with her and explained that I only did it because I care and didn't want her to get hurt."
"That VP is awesome. I sat in his office while he coached me through the call, since it was my first time calling CPS."
Standing Up For Your Friend, Even When No One Else Will
"I was in high school and my best friend was being bullied on the bus. She brought a knife to school and had previously mentioned a list of people. I cried a lot when I went to the principal to turn her in. I knew I was ruining her life but I wanted her to get help. I didn't want anyone to get hurt because we were all just kids. She was expelled and forced into therapy. We had been friends since we were 11."
"My mom listened on the phone line when I was trying to comfort my friend (while absolutely not admitting it was me) and my mom jumped on and told her I'm not allowed to be her friend anymore. I had told my mom I had turned her in and she had no empathy for this girl. Because I had been bullied and stood up for myself and never "did anything like that". My friend was getting cornered on the bus by 4 people whereas I was normally taunted in public and was lucky enough to always have an upperclassmen or school employee around to help me out. I felt guilty about turning her life upside down for many years but would do it again because she did get help."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/