People Who've Known A Murderer Describe What They Were Really Like

People Who've Known A Murderer Describe What They Were Really Like
Bill Oxford/Unsplash

There are people in this world who have, for whatever reason, taken another's' life. For some it's a tragedy, and a hero for others. Some people didn't even know they were talking to a murderer until later.

How can you tell if someone is a murderer in the first place? They can seem just like regular people.

So VentSauxe went to Ask Reddit to find out what that experience was like.

VentSauxe asked the question:

"People who have met murderers, what were they like?"

What's most fascinating is the stories when we these people would be locked away forever are still out in life to this very day.

Dodged a bullet.

"I once accidentally scratched a car on a parking lot. When I went to find the owner to sort it out, (a friend lived there, he told me which door to knock) an old (about 60 yrs old) sweet tiny lady opened the door. She was really cool about the incident, told me not to worry about it and I went on with my day."

"Found out later that this woman had apparently been a part of several murders in the 80's where the victims had been chopped to pieces and stuffed into trash bags."

"Thanks for giving me a heads up several hours after it was necessary, unnamed friend."

- Randers420

"'Been a part'?"

"How was she involved? A suspect or what?"

- AmazingAd2765

"She was one of multiple (3 IIRC) perpetrators involved in these murders. I unfortunately don't have any more details, but I remember there were at least 3 or 4 murders."

"This is a second hand story from 5+ years ago, so take everything I say with a few grains of salt."

- Randers420

"How was she not in prison though? I mean you definitely dodged a bullet."

- VentSauxe

"Quite literally perhaps.Our justice system is disturbingly loose, especially regarding violent crimes. Apparently a "life" sentence means 12 years over here. (double checked, no set length for a life sentence, on average they serve 14 yrs)"

"Since these murders happened in the 80's, approximately 30 years before I met her, she could've served 2 life sentences. I'm just going to assume for my sanity's sake she did at least 10 years. Sadly I have no way to confirm if she served any time at all, or if these murders even really happened."

- Randers420

Not surprising.

"I have a relative who murdered someone and I saw him a few times decades before that when we were kids. He was a bully. I'm not surprised he turned out to be a murderer. He cheated on his wife and got the girl pregnant. She was going to tell his wife and he killed her."

- I_am_Mog

Was it justified?

"I owned a local bar and there was a couple who would come in about three times a week since they only lived around the corner. Both in their early sixties. He would occasionally come alone and sit on the patio and read his newspaper while having a drink. I would talk to them both together and him alone. Super nice ,friendly and great senses of humour."

"I learned that he killed his abusive father when he was nine and was in juvenile detention until being released at sixteen. It didn't change my opinion of him in the least."

- ppkgga

"I think your experience highlights the difference in situations surrounding the crimes. He was probably in living hell so its, [in my opinion], justified, whereas someone that has killed in true cold blood or taken away a life for no apparent reason does not deserve sympathy or kindness, again all in my opinion."

- lowhangingfruit12

"It is very possible could be considered self defense or likely would not be pursued heavily given the circumstances. There was a good case that highlights this from I think Texas like a decade ago. A dad came home and found a tutor in the process of molesting his son. He either beat him to death or very very close and was never charged as the DA said and I agree, 'he was a father defending his son.' This does not obviously happen everyday but I think it is an excellent use of discretion on the part of the DA."


No regrets for revenge.

"I used have a buddy I met through work that went to prison for 25 years for killing the man that assaulted his little sister. He was a super chill person, he had no regrets about it all."

- Timshe

"He will probably get on pretty well all things considered. Most inmates will show him respect for his actions. The officers will like him too even if they aren't allowed to show it. I'm sure they all imagined being in that position of it was their little sister or daughter."

- Nuttinwrong

"Agreed. From what I've heard, rapists aren't treated well in jail so with what he's done, he will be alright."

- Operator__

He met the man that killed his father.

"Saw my dad's murderer in court. He smirked right at my younger brother when my little brother made eye contact with him."

"I think that should say enough."

"They say it's 'life time imprisonment' for his charge of second degree murder but really, he gets parole after 20 years."

- halfastormyevening

"Yeah those are the kinds of people who are stains to society. I hope your family's ok."

- VentSauxe

"I hope he's off the streets in in prison for the rest of his life."

- Duckyboi10

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"Write the parole board about the incident in court. There is no way he'll ever get parole after that."

- D1rty87

"You can even attend in certain situations. Depending on the state I would visit their parole board site and read about your rights as a victim."

"Here is a a really good guide that gives an overview of rights by state, looks like it's from 2019 so fairly recent. This shows what kind of rights you have (notification, ability to write or ability to be present) for most inmate circumstance changes (early release, furlough, clemency, escape, death etc)."

"Also, once his 20 years are up there will be a few parole hearing every x amount of years so it's usually not a one-and-done. Here is an excerpt as an example:"

"For some inmates, federal law requires a parole hearing every two years. Many inmates have several parole hearings before they are found suitable for release by the Parole Commission. Some parole-eligible inmates are never released to parole supervision."

- JBits001

Not what you'd expect.

"He was an angry drunk. When he wasn't drunk, he was funny and gentlemanly. He ended up murdering my mom."

- bluegrassmommy

"That ending caught me off guard, I'm so sorry."

- memelord263

"Please tell me that guy is in prison for life without the possibility of parole. I'm so sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace. Stay strong. My heart goes out to you and your family. Hope the guy gets what's coming to him. Hope you and your family got justice and that you guys are doing ok."

- Awesomejuggler20

"No. He only spent a year. He still lives in the same house where he shot her to death. We never got justice. He took away my best friend and a grandma to my kids."


Housing a escapee.

"An escaped convicted murderer stayed in our student house (our group took him in while drunk after he approached us claiming to be a former student who missed his bus)."

"He was small nerdy and awkward. Funniest part was us laying down the law not to eat our food just before we left him sleeping in the common room."

"It was sometime later we connected that he'd escaped that night and was convicted of murdering his parents."

- Jiltedjohn

The Redditor continued the story in a comment:

"In our drunken haze we were suspicious that something was awry, he was wearing an assortment of uncoordinated light clothing and it was in the middle of winter, he claimed he attended the university but had no idea about the campus layout, the classes he claimed he took didn't match up, etc."

"That all said we were too tired to figure it out and just crashed in our rooms, by the morning he was gone."

"We didn't realize he was an escapee until some time later, one of our housemates who hadn't gone out that night with us, casually asked at dinner who the f was that person was eating cereal at 4am. He'd assumed it was a friend of ours but 'he looked liked that escaped murderer that was on the news.'"

"We kept quiet."

"We never told the police or even the rest of the house what happened and he was caught shortly after."

- Jiltedjohn

"Yeah, you see, this is why I don't pick up hitchhikers. I know, different situation, but same idea."

"This just reinforced that rule in my head."

- Nancy_Bluerain

"The irony is that our house didn't even volunteer to take him in, after the murderer gave us the sob story of old times missing the bus etc., one of our friends from a different house said 'you can go stay at JiltedJohn's,' we were just too spaced out to say f no."

- Jiltedjohn

A county jail worker's perspective.

We left part of this comment out because of the extremely graphic nature.

"I worked at a county jail that housed federal inmates and also a state prison. Most of my time at the state prison I spent in a unit that housed inmates who had committed serious offenses like murder and also had some kind of mental health issue like schizophrenia or anything like that. It was one of two maximum-security units in my state.

"It goes without saying that all people, and by extension murderers, are different. Some show regret for what they've done while others are completely remorseless. One cried at night sometimes because he felt bad he'd killed a man and he knew that he would probably do it again if let out due to a number of mental health issues."

"Some are incredibly aggressive and openly violent. Almost more animal than human. They will take any opportunity presented to assault treatment, medical, or security staff. These aren't the scary ones though. I would always try to explain this to new officers I was training. The ones who are known for assaulting staff and are openly malevolent are intimidating to new officers because they're often big, loud, and show an appetite for violence."

"But, because of that you're always on guard around them. There's always extra officers present when those inmates are out of their cells and you know what to expect when you open that door. The scary ones are those that are feeble looking, smallish, and well spoken. They don't use profanity or have lots of tattoos. They aren't physically intimidating. They are always yes sir and no sir and greet you when you come on the unit for the day. They are also the ones who will be friendly with you for months while they plan to assault you or even attempt to kill you. This happened to a friend of mine. He was slashed with a sharpened toothbrush in his neck. 97 stitches and missed his jugular vein by 4 millimeters."

"Keep in mind these are the worst of the worst in my state and most of what I've said doesn't really apply to the kind of guy that has one too many beers and causes a DUI death. I guess if you want real specifics you'd have to specify what kind of killer."

- Nuttinwrong

A man on the run.

"The name he went by was Sid. I didn't know much about him except that he came from out West, he was quiet, Mexican and a hard worker. I was running a tire shop with a max of two other employees and some nights it was just me (27F) and Sid closing the shop."

"At one point Sid, who had only worked at my shop for about a month, stopped showing up. We had a high turnover rate, so I thought nothing of it. Months later a pair of detectives show up at my shop with some pictures of a man that looked familiar. It was Sid, of course! They wouldn't tell me why they were looking for him, but a quick Google search pulled up his warrants for arrest in several states, including Arkansas and Texas. He had murder charges for several people, not to mention firearms charges and theft. Turns out, when my company hires someone, they only check your background for local warrants, not federal , so my guy truly worked just long enough to round up a couple paychecks, and then disappeared off to who knows where!"

- 69BeesInMyKnees

Many of these stories brought up questions in our justice system. Who get's to decide who is a hero and who is a villain? When they are back in society, can we justify their crimes when they integrate back?

It makes you wonder about our societies moral compass and how we decide who we want in community with us.

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