What's impressive to us as kids and what's impressive to us as adults are two wildly different things. The "flexes" that we did on other kids typically revolved around impressing other students at school with various weird things. Here are some of the best ones, as the people of Reddit look back at childhood.
u/Tempest_OW_ asked: What was your ultimate flex when you were a child?
Zoomin' past the haters.
I had an electric scooter, must have been flexin hard since some parents would harass me for riding it on school property.
After school, I had one lady who was so jealous that she would follow me on my way home and scream "you need a license for that thing I checked with the police". Meanwhile I'm 13 years old riding a toy designed for kids.
The most powerful super soaker to ever hit the market.
Some idiot of a person threw it in the trash as they thought it was just old. I miss it a lot as nothing compares to being physically exhausted trying to get those final charges in to pump it up to full power. When you maxed it out, you knew you were about to do a 'lotta damage!
Don't know what that means but I'm happy for you.
I got a Holographic Blastoise in my first pack of Pokemon cards.
My very first pack had a foil Poliwrath.
I'd be jealous too.
Bringing McDonald's to school during lunch time.
As for personal talents, absolutely NADA. I was as talentless as they came.
My dad worked with Steve Irwin and we often had dinners etc with his family.
That's not a childhood flex, that's a lifetime flex right there.
Now that's talent.
I can touch my nose with my tongue and I can pop my jaw, my dad has stated that whenever he hears me pop my jaw he's scared that my jaw is just going to unhinge like a snake.
I can do that and I used to purposely annoy my high school boyfriend by doing it while making creepy eye contact. The sound freaked him out. It was a fun way to win stupid fights.
How did they get them?
I had all these fake mobile phones they used for displays in stores. I used to sell them.
First to discover Minecraft in my school and spread the word around.
You got to flex over that? I was the first to discover Minecraft in my middle school, but everyone just called me gay for playing it instead of Call of Duty. It finally got big when it came out for Xbox, but nobody would have it when I tried to pull an I-told-you-so.
Bonus: My terrible username I still use to this day is the name I came up with, in a sudden moment of inspiration in the P.E. locker room in 6th grade, to use for a Minecraft let's play. I could say I'm "more epic than you" in every episode.
At the time I legitimately thought it was the best idea I'd ever had in my life. I even made this Reddit account to ask a question in a Notch AMA.
Always look on the bright side.
Me and my friends would compare how many cuts and bruises we had on our legs. I was always the winner. I have atopic dermatitis.
Way to turn a bad into a good.
"Smoking" a candy cigarette when I was 10 or 11 behind the convenience store, looking angrily at a younger kid and yelling with my new found machismo, "What are you looking at?!"
Did you call him a poser? There's no coming back from that insult.