People Divulge The Real Reason They Never Wanted To Have Children

Children require a lot of resources--all the resources a human being needs and then some. Plus they require a lot of emotional and mental energy--having a baby truly changes the course of your life.

And so many people make the choice to simply not have any children. And while that's an unpopular and often criticized choice, it is still a valid one.


So when Redditor _LickitySplit asked:

"What is your reason for not having a child?"

Here were some of those answers.

Mental Health

"Sometimes I snap pretty bad when I'm overwhelmed and I'd hate for a kid to be put through that."

"I mean not that I'd do anything to the kid, it just wouldn't be fair to a child for me to just freak out and become a sobbing pile on the floor."

"Sometimes I think I'd like to have a kid, because it would be fun to go to a museum and teach them things, and all the little holiday traditions would be fun to pass on, and I'd love seeing what things they build with Lego or what funny shi* I could pretend they said for twitter clout."

"But then sometimes I'm so overwhelmed by my own broken brain that I guess it's good there's no kid around. Although if I had a good partner I think that would help."-OneGoodRib

Money Sucks

"I've never wanted them. All the other reasons, like the massive amount of financial and emotional commitment they require, is just icing on the 'I don't want one' cake."-oursavageduet

"My mom loves telling the story about how at four years old I told her I wouldn't get a husband or have children. Still winning on both counts."-swansung

Still A Wee Baby

"I, myself, am still a child."-Omni_the_Ferret

"I'm turning 30 soon and still feel this is why I haven't had kids yet. Can't believe my dad was five years younger than I am now when I was born. Taking care of my very good and easy dog, having a job, and doing housework is too much already."-drsandwich_MD

"Hell, I'll be 40 in just over a year and I still feel this way. I like having a dog, and he's enough responsibility for me. I have a bunch of concerts I'm going to in the near future, and I like being on my own schedule."-BenTwan

After all do we really want to put a child through where we are in our current lives?

No But Seriously The Money

"I will never financially recover from this."-no-eggs-

"The strangest part of all of this is that it was only a few generations ago that people would have as many children as they could for economic insurance."-the_future_is_wild

"I have 2. One in school, one in day care. Day care alone costs around 15k a year with government subsidies. Would be 30k a year without it. Australia. Yes theyre f**king expensive."-travlerjoe

Koala-Tea

"I can't afford to give a child the quality life I want for them yet. I think it's important that everyone remembers that quality life may not mean the same thing to everyone, and there are multiple factors that influence quality of life."

"Some people may feel financial pressure because they can't provide basic essentials, while at the same time, some people may the feel the same pressure because they can't provide a private school education."

"Some people may feel they don't have quality time to dedicate to raising a child and might be putting their career first for awhile. Some people may have moved multiple times in their lives and will only feel secure when they have a stable home to provide a child."

"You do not have to be rich to have children. But you do have to be in a place in your life where you prepared to provide for them, love them, show up for them, and help them when they need it."

"This includes making sure that ones self is also mentally and emotionally prepared to make that commitment and follow through."

"It's not just money. It's not just time. It's not just assets or liabilities. It's not just mental health. It's all of it and it looks different for everyone. Please keep your judgments to yourself."-ohheyhihellothere25

A Poor Relationship

"My mother put me last a lot of the time -- for example, she would make me wait outside my school for hours and wait while she did whatever she wanted, sometimes just relaxing at the house, making me feel entitled to ask her to pick me up on time."

"She never wanted to teach me how to drive because she made it seem like its a hassle for her. I am now 23, and still don't have a license."

"But I finally have a job and make enough money to pay for my own lessons ($1500 down the drain because she could never bother teaching me)."

"I understand to a certain extent, but it's part of a parent's job to teach your kids life skills, right? I've had so much trouble with this idea."

"Now it's completely on my ball to have a relationship with her. She doesn't reach out at all or ask me to visit and it's up to me to call her and visit."-lavamountain

Keeping Myself Away

"I'm fundamentally a selfish person, and I believe raising a child properly requires unselfish behavior."

"Another question I think people should ask is if they would be emotionally prepared to raise a severely disabled child? If the answer is no, then you should approach having a biological child with more consideration."-PartyCryptographer8

And it might be that we truly don't see a pathway coming up in our lives as they are that would be conducive to a child.

Time Was Always On My Side

"Money. Time. No desire at all. My mom used to say having a child is like getting a tattoo on your face. You better be damn certain you really want it."

"I'm 43 F[emale] married for 14 years. My husband and I are on the same page. My mom first said this to me and my sister when were were In high school."

"So mid- late 90's. She probably read it in a women's magazine. She was a teenage mom and really pressed into my sister's heads that becoming a mom can not be taken lightly."

"She was a great mother who unfortunately died in 2010. I'm glad something she told me 20 + years ago still resonates!"-Bunnyisfluffy

For The Genes, Not The Baby

"I've chosen not to pass on my mental and physical health problems. I can see negative traits from both my mother's and father's family and decided not to continue the line."

"I do, however, want to adopt. Along side my unwillingness to curse a human with my genetically-passed ailments, I also want to care for a child that has been left or abandoned. They need love before I create something that needs love."-Lost_Ad_8970

We'll Keep Checking ;)

"Myself (f[emale]31) and fiance (m[ale]33) have been together 12 years, no kids. Within past few years we've both finally got jobs we've been working towards and a nice income."

"We like our life, being able to go away for a night or two or out for nice meals as we can afford it. Then have quiet evenings watching Netflix."

"Neither of us want a child enough to actually have one. We talk about it frequently to check we're on the same page. Working well for us."-anxiousoneisme


It is no longer a social imperative to have a child. Some people may literally never, and that is truly their choice.

And if you are feeling any of these feelings, it is okay for you, too, to not want a child.

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