Reddit user jnsxx asked:
"What was the creepiest confession made on Reddit?"
In less than 3 months over 2,500 comments were posted. Here's the best:
45. The Power of 3...
The lady lactating from her 3rd nipple in today's confession thread. packerken
44. Come Home! Be A Phoenix!
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I cut off all contact with everyone I know and moved to Kenya, I tell people a fake name and a fake background and have made it appear to my family that I died on boat trip in the Pacific. No I am not joking. I am dead in the United States. Tomgoldaccount
43. I See You!
I still have "imaginary friends." I'm almost 30.
I lost them for a while. I don't know why or how, but it they were gone. I couldn't see them or hear them any more, not the way I used to when I was younger. It made me was miserable. I kept hoping for a way to get them back.
Two weeks ago, I somehow managed to finally break through whatever the barrier was. I have spent the past two weeks hanging out with, and talking to, a character from a well-known TV show.
I can't really "see" him visually, but I can see him with my mind's eye. He goes almost everywhere with me. He's sitting on my bed right now, waiting for me to get off my computer. (I promised I would get off a little while ago, but I had to check reddit one last time.) He's been coming to work with me every day for the past two weeks. I share my food with him. (I kind of mentally duplicate it for him, since he can't touch it in reality.)
I love it. I'm happy again. I realize most people would say he isn't real, but something about him is. I don't care. He's real to me. 863 points· 6 years ago·
42. Lead with forgiveness....
That guy who travelled far away SOLELY to beat the crap of a guy who scammed him online, and turned him into a paranoid cripple. DAVasquez-
41. UTOPIA?
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The story of a guy who met this creepy guy who seemed inhuman named Jimmy C. Who claimed to have committed suicide by jumping off a bridge and that he was meant to kill him. He's gonna kill him the next time he sees him and he'll be driving a black Mercedes with the license plate UTOPIA. scaredog20
40. That Stinks....
There was this guy obsessed with girls pooping. He talked about some girl on campus he had a thing for so he'd frequently follow her into the bathroom so he could listen in the next stall while she pooped.
He also talked about how one of the greatest moments of his life was when he got to watch his sister poop, and then was privileged to be able to wipe her butt. He described it all in graphic detail.
It all ends on a sad note. I believe he was a combat veteran with PTSD. The last post of his I saw implied he was planning to take his own life. I don't remember his user name. BarneyMorphine
39. Meow Mix....
The one that still bothers my sleep is the guy who accidentally cooked his girlfriend's cat. I can't find the thread anymore, but I felt bad for the guy because I like animals and I could see something like what happened to him happening to me, so I always double check my oven before turning it on. I think he was engaged and she dumped him. MrDreamThief
38. A Dangerous Woman....
A post on /r/relationships about this guy with a crazy wife. Everyone ended up giving bad advice like "Just suck it up and divorce her you dummy!" which led to him doing it (despite not wanting to in fear of his children) and his ex-wife killing his children. NumbuhOne
37. Unlucky 7....
A cop accidentally killed seven people in a car using carbon monoxide poisoning... Not a day goes by without him thinking of those seven people. MarieLuminous
36. Just Say No!
The one guy who tried heroine and got addicted. He made a post before he tried it and a few more afterwards about his addiction and recovery. Here's the link to his first post. birthmom1220
35. Trespass!
I once helped out my a female friend's family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. I found my friend's diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife. ThrownAway2389
34. Medium or Well?
Wasn't there a man that ate a corpse while his neighbor was watching? Pheeck
33. There Will Be Blood!
A bit of revenge towards someone that irreparably damaged a loved one I care deeply for. I deleted it because I felt fear for what I had said even though i was vague enough to leave out any information that could be used against me. I'm still afraid of that part of me, but I regret nothing. ZombehPlatypus
32. The Healing Waters....
Definitely the pee dungeon. Guy relieves himself in a urinal only to see an eyeball in the drain. Later he sees a guy covered in pee running out from the shop and they discover a small alcove made under the urinal large enough for a person to rest their head. Pinkfeatherboa
31. Paging Dateline....
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There was a guy who sold his house with an underground bunker attached to it or something like that. He proceeded to continue living in the bunker for an extended period of time, coming and going at night, unbeknownst to the new home owners. Details might be different, maybe someone can find it and link the comment. ECircus
30. I can't Listen!
Not a confession, but the creepiest thing/link/post I have ever seen on reddit was the link to the audio file of the Jonestown suicide thing where you can hear the kids crying because they don't want to take the cyanide pill. The parents are promising them it will be all right, but they are literally killing their kids on tape. not_a_russian_bot2
29. The Confessional...
There was a guy who got arrested after he used confession bear to admit to the murder of his sister's abusive boyfriend. He said he was a drug addict, so he gave him too much, and the cops ruled it an overdose. Until he made the post and got caught... dorkmax
28. The Poo Flinger!
I once took a poop In the bathtub and then realizing what a horrible mistake I'd made, I flung poo Into a hole In the wall.
My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there Is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.
Not even using a throwaway because I have no shame. ahemsoaptin
27. Pay Attention Parents....
I came very, very close to committing a school shooting
I was picked on A LOT in high school. I think it was because I tried so hard to be cool and everyone saw right through it. There were these 4 cowboy jock types that gave it to me the worst. After being publicly humiliated and beaten in front of a girl I liked (as she laughed/cheered), I decided that none of it was worth it anymore. I had no support at home being an only child and having parents that worked constantly, and cutting and burning myself didn't make me feel better anymore. So I got my dad's handgun out of the gun-safe (he uses the same combo for everything, the idiot) and brought it to school with me the next day.
I can't adequately describe to you guys how ready I was to kill these four. I had absolutely no fear or doubt in my mind. I wanted nothing more than to show everyone what happens when you push someone over the edge like they did. I had the gun tucked in my waistline. I was wearing this baggy pair of cargo shorts that i wore a couple times a week that day. I remember walking towards the cowboy's table, so damn ready for it to be over, when the gun fell out of my waistline, down my left short leg and made the loudest sound as it hit the cafeteria floor. I tried my best to grab the gun real quick, but people saw what it was and screamed, and one of the instructors tackled me to the ground.
They eventually concluded that I had brought the gun to school to impress people, and had no intention of using it. I was expelled and sent to live at a youth ranch in Idaho until I was 18. I did have the intention of using it though. I was going to kill all of them. I'm 24 now, and I still think about it all the time. I have not recovered from high school. I'm still terrified of people in general, and avoid having relationships because of what I fear I'm capable of.
I'm not looking for pity. I know that what I did was wrong, it just feels good to tell the story. Thanks Reddit. Reddit
26. Chastity is rough!
One of the weirdest was the dude that posted the three part saga about his wife who kept him in Chastity. Not for any kink or anything, but because she was scared he would cheat (she was out on business a lot). Of course she was cheating all along. They got divorced and he ended up with nothing but sounded so happy drinking his beer in his garden chair with pizza in his little flat. woodsoffeels
25. Married to Your Stalker
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A guy confessed that he stalked a lady for a year by hacking her love interest's computer, planted a load of proof that love interest had been stalking her and was into a load of weird and creepy stuff, revealed it to the lady, helped girl to get a protection order on love interest, used that as his own way in with the girl, and finally married her.
24. Wedding Bell Blues
Somebody said that he was supposed to cheat with his fiance's best friend the night before their wedding, but she died in a car accident on the way to the hotel.
23. The IT Guy
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...a guy that was hired as the second guy for what had been a one man IT team. He had a crush on a coworker and found out the main IT guy had a crush on her as well at the same time as finding out he was doing some illegal stuff with the payroll and financing software.
Guy reports the main guy who gets fired and he takes over the position as head IT, a position he uses to get access to HR files to essentially get inside info on the girl he fancies.
21. Tragic Accident
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The one where the guy confessed to burning his house down accidentally as a kid which claimed his family.
Still haunts me.
20. Recognizing an Unfaithful Husband
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Some guy casually talking about being unfaithful to his wife. Curious, I glanced at his comment history. And recognized him....
My old roommate's brother. I was new to Reddit back then (old account from years ago I've since deleted) and didn't know the rules against outing people. I commented "Wow, [the dude's name], is that you?!" He messaged me telling me to take his name out of my comment.
I responded by saying I just e-mailed a link to his account to his mother-in-law (I didn't really, I was just being a cheeky monkey.) He thought I was serious and called his wife to do some damage control... and inadvertently outed himself and later got a divorce.
Oh, and he went through my comment archive and found out who I was (never take selfies in uniform!)
His whole family absolutely hates me now.
19. Reckless Driving
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I remember one where the guy as a joke while driving with 4 friends reached over and jerked the steering wheel to mess with his buddy.
The car crashed claimed the other 3 people but left him alive. He never told anyone he caused it and has to live with it every day.
18. Revenge
My best friend dated my ex. I got revenge by sleeping with his mom.
[deleted]
17. Accident or Negligence?
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The apartment manager who confessed:
I put a rag into a new water heater exhaust to keep debris out and installed it in a rental. I get a call a week later, there's been an accident. I show up and there's a ton of EMS and police. They ask me where the gas shutoff is, and I go down to shut the gas off and see the end of the rag I forgot sticking out of the top of the heater.
Ripped the rag out, shut the gas off and head upstairs only to be told all the tenants had passed.
I drink all day now and sleep. It's killing me from the inside every single day, but if I say anything my family is ruined. We have a bunch of rental properties and we'd be shut down.
16. Stranger Danger
A guy who confessed that he would go into people's houses if they left their door unlocked. He would check doors, if they weren't locked he'd let himself in and just sort of wander around their house looking at their stuff and sometimes helping himself to their food.
[deleted user]
15. Your Eyes
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It's crazy how a picture can affect you. You're simply scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and- BOOM. There they are. Looking right back at you.
You. Can't. Move.
You lock eyes with this person like you have a thousand times before, only they can't see you this time. No, this time you take the opportunity to drink them in like you regret not doing before. You're overwhelmed by this wave of nostalgia mixed with something else... Pain? Love? Resentment? You don't know. But you stare into those eyes like you did all those times before, and it's like you're in each of those individual moments all over again.
You remember melting into those eyes when they first captured you. You remember dreaming of those eyes when he first told you he loved you. You remember gleaming into those eyes when he proposed. You remember surrendering into those eyes when he promised himself to you in that church. You remember searching for answers in those eyes for the very last time... when he left.
It's crazy because there was a point in time when you knew everything about this person. It's nearly impossible to think that you were once the most important person in their life, as they were in yours. It continues to blow my mind how I used to know every Thing about him... And now the only thing I know about those eyes is that they're staring at her everyday- the second set of eyes looking back at me in that picture.
Two months after my divorce, and my ex-husband is engaged.
So I keep scrolling, and that's that.
14. Reality Check
Everything that I do, everything that I say, everything that I see, I stress that what I think I'm experiencing isn't what other people are experiencing.
I could be doing the most normal thing like walking my dog, and then a thought in my head pops up "what if you're actually not walking your dog, instead you're just dragging a leash around looking like a maniac", a thought that makes me reach down to pet my dog to make sure he's real, then afterwards, scold myself for thinking otherwise.
But then it comes back, what if I was just dragging a dog leash around looking crazy?
I don't know, there's a strong feeling in my chest that I'm not really doing the thing that I think I'm doing, instead, I'm doing something else entirely that is making others really uncomfortable.
I'm so scared man.
[username deleted]
13. Looking For Answers
You were in my dream last night. It's the only place we see each other now. I haven't seen or talked to you in over a year.
I asked you why you broke up with me and you said I was too depressed for you. And now I'm awake and upset that I'll never see you again. I wish that I could just forget you.
[username deleted]
12. Loosing Control
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I'm not writing this for any reason other than that I have to need to make sure others know how badly I messed up. Most people have bad things happen to them from chance or minor mistakes, but I ruined not just my life, but so many others in an awful way and can't keep silent anymore.
I left for college several years ago. I had the chance for a full ride scholarship, but for reasons I still can't remember, I threw it away and decided to take out a loan (with my parents as cosigners!) for the same amount to go to a prestigious university many hours away from home instead. College life started off well, but I did not pay attention to my mental health and wound up cracking under the stress. I returned home, but rather than taking time to recover, I decided to go straight back to college into a similar program that I hated, albeit closer to home and with several friends.
It was an environment that was on par with any frat house, but I had to live in it. Once again I would wind up failing out of school due to my inability to stay on top of things or manage my well-being. I was pretty much the stereotypical successful high school student who failed out of college due to wanting to party and poor study habits. I didn't stay in touch with my parents, most of my friends, or even myself. The story doesn't end there though.
When the lease expired, I had the chance to go back home, but I could not face my family. Massively in student debt, and with a low paying job, I decided to continue rooming with these people that I had considered my friends. And they were my friends, it was my fault that my life had deteriorated to this point. But now, out of school for a year, and with a job that does not even cover my monthly expenses, I slowly sunk into debt, hiding myself away from the world until it was too late.
No matter how much trouble I caused, or how much ruin I bring on myself, my friends and family still showed me love and support, and I can't bear to see them in this condition. Now, bills are finally catching up, my friends are realizing how I have skimmed the house's finances to make rent, and my college loans are crippling my family. I could have had some sort of decent life, but instead I chose chaos and ruin and spread it to everyone I know. I have lived for several years with nothing but hatred for myself, and have had every chance to turn it around, but I only tightened the noose around my neck.
I'm not sure how much longer people will remain in my life when the full details of what I've done come to light.
11. Step Away
I'm very attracted to my partner's stepdad. I would like to say I very much love my partner. He is my first real relationship with a man, I even moved across the country to be with him. Before all this happened we were in a long distance relationship where I would occasionally visit and he would do the same. He met my family we all got along great. When it was time for me to meet his mom and step dad we decided to go to dinner.
The time came and as soon as we walked in the door this very good looking man caught my eyes and attention. As we kept walking we were getting closer and closer to his table and then it him me, that was his family, his mom was sitting in the same table I just hadn't notice anyone because I was so distracted by this man that had just pulled all my attention towards him.
Fast forward after me moving my sexual attraction only got stronger and I actively started to try and flirt with him discreetly. He would send me mixed signals and even between the both of us there was always this attraction where I would catch him watching me from across the room during family functions.
My head tells me to not touch this situation with a ten foot pole and let it be and not ruin my relationship or his.
10. For The Children
I married a guy. He admires other girls and he's embarrassed by me... so I cheated on him. And we're pretty much only together for our son...
9. Crushed
Almost 20 months ago, a practical stranger left a note on my car confessing his crush on me. I told him I had no feelings for him. We became friends after he confessed a secret to me, and for the next month everything seemed fine.
Then he told me that he still had feelings for me. I told him, again, that I had none for him.
He ended up betraying me. Big time.
That was when I knew that if I played this correctly, I would be on top of a very good opportunity.
So I forgave him. And I began playing him. I teased his feelings out. I was subtly flirty, friendly, and caring. Six months after he had first confessed his feelings for me, I told him I would be willing to attempt to have a relationship after he wrote me a letter once again confessing his feelings (but I told him this under the guise that I had mixed feelings towards him, and I was still working it out).
Then we went back to college, and I met someone and fell in love. For the most part. My relationship was honestly a sinking ship. But I persisted with it. Out of stubbornness and out of spite.
During the entire eight month relationship, I continued to spend time with my now best friend. We did everything together. We were in the same clubs, classes, major, minor, etc. We even ended up living together when I moved in with my boyfriend (who conveniently lived with my best friend).
We got closer and closer. He started taking me on 'dates' because my boyfriend would not. He started rubbing my shoulders, buying me presents, showering me in gifts. When he was losing faith in my loyalty to him and my promises that I was to be his future husband and that this was just a step in my 'training' on how to be the best husband on the planet, I moved my pawns so he wouldn't topple his king. Ever time he wavered, I was there.
He kept a diary, mostly related to us (we had a stupid celebrity name). I stole the password from him and read it every night to make sure my next move wouldn't upset him too much, but just enough so that it would hurt.
Finally, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was heartbroken despite the issues (I still loved the guy...).
We fought less and less in the months that followed. He began trusting me blindy, and finally he asked if we wanted to start a relationship.
I told him I had to figure out how to love him. That I was working every day to figure out how to love him. That I was dedicating my SOUL to trying to love him.
He said he would wait for me forever. That he was in love with me. That he has been in love with me since the first day we met and he knows that we were destined to be together. That he would try to become perfect for me. That he would only think of me when he had fantasies, that he would never touch another guy until I was ready to seal the deal.
I'm planning on using him for the next two years to continue to get free stuff and food and attention. Then I'm going to tell him that he has been worthless to me this whole time, and that this is all because he devastated my trust four years ago in a parking lot at my high school.
8. WOW
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On the day of our 10 year wedding anniversary I found that my wife had been talking to a guy online, trading pics, talking about possibly leaving me for about a month and a half. I sort of knew the guy through the Guild my wife and I were in (world of warcraft). The night before when I got home from work she was telling me some jokes he had told her and I found it strange that she found them as funny as she did. I felt like it wasn't something she would normally laugh at. So while we were on the couch watching TV, I logged into her discord account and the first thing I saw was "I'd send you butt pics but I'm being supervised".
I immediately excused myself and went to bed, I didn't know what to think so I just shut down. Upon waking up in the morning I googled a script that would download their chat history from discord and I read it all. My heart broke when I read "I'm so angry at (husband) when he's not with me, but I'm fine when he's here". My heart shattered the first time I saw her say "I love you" in the chat logs. It shattered again when I saw "I thought banging (husband) a bunch would cure my horniness but it hasn't). I haven't cried in...
I can't even remember the last time I cried but I cried 3 times while reading the logs. It was a sick train ride of deep sadness, despair, and anger seeing the progression of this happening. Getting further into the logs I see them arguing, resolving said arguments and then arguing again. At one point she exclaims to him she doesn't know why she's doing this and that she really loves me but he's like her kryptonite and she can't help it. I can see both of them pushing each other away, yet still trading pics (presumably through Snapchat although I can't prove it) every so often. It seemed like any relationship had run it's course and they were just mechanically (or habitually?) doing this.
I confronted her. Said "happy anniversary.... Do we have another year?" Told her I found the logs and read them. She explained how it happened, that we did have another year, she didn't know how to end it once she realized what she was doing, that she didn't REALLY cheat on me (eyeroll), that she would immediately block him on everything.... I was pretty catatonic for almost a week. It's about 6 weeks later now. We seem to be doing fine now I think.
The trust is still broken though, and I still find myself wanting to log into all her accounts to check on things if she leaves her phone out or computer on. I am doing mostly ok at this point, though sometimes I'll hear or see something that reminds me of everything (like when I saw this post title) and I'll have... an attack of depression...? I guess. Hard to explain. I haven't talked to anyone about this because I still love her and I don't want my family and friends to hate her.
Now, I feel like I should note why she was angry with me since I mentioned it but didn't really explain. She was angry because she felt like I wasn't doing anything/enough around the house. She talked to me about that (while she was already talking to him). Now, I felt like I was doing plenty and she just wasn't recognizing it. However, I still took her complaint seriously. So I started writing down EVERYTHING I did around the house in a sort of daily journal: from picking up trash, cleaning up cat puke, taking care of the 'lil one, to picking up her old coffee mugs and used Splenda packets.
I'm still doing this, because I realized while I was doing things around the house before I started the documentation it was hard to say how much I was actually doing because most of it seems inconsequential by itself and I would forget what I had done making it hard to say I wasn't just being lazy. when tracking it though it's much easier to remember (without looking at the journal) and it all added together is actually alot that I do. Plus, it's just satisfying to see the pages fill up from margin to margin with all of that stuff.
[deleted]
7. Bottled Up
Over a two month period earlier this year, I unexpectedly dropped about 30 lbs of weight from 220 lbs to 190. I was urged by friends and family to seek medical help, so I did. I was diagnosed with gastritis. After failure to successfully treat it, they realised there was a misdiagnosis. I've been misdiagnosed since then with crowns disease, diverticulitis, and ulcerative colitis over a few months. Last thursday, I received the diagnosis of stage four gastric cancer.
Finally, one of the doctor's I've been seeing decided to do an endoscopy, where they run a tube with a camera down into your organs to get a better look. They found a tumorous growth inside of my stomach. It proves to be malignant. Theyve found that it has spread to nearby lymphnodes and I have an appointment tomorrow for them to check other organs they now believe may have also been affected. I do not know how to tell my family about this.
My symptoms have been persistent nausea, blood in vomit and stool, disinterest in food and even when hungry I feel full after a couple bites, I've continued to lose weight and am now down to about 175 (I haven't weighed 175 since middle school.) I'm constantly fatigued, which sucks working 60hrs a week doing physical work. Fairly constant discomfort in my abdomen as well. I've been diligent in hiding all of this from my wife, kids, parents, siblings, coworkers, and friends. I never told them much after the diagnosis of Crohn's disease and diverticulitis.
I do not want anyone to treat me differently or try to do things for me that I can still do. I just want to stay useful for as long as I can. I don't want to burden anyone with such news, and I'd like to keep my dignity for the time being.
This is my secret, and I will keep it from everyone but you, Reddit. As nobody in my personal life uses this site, I can rest assured you will keep it too. It does feel much better to get that off my chest, I appreciate those who took the time to read it.
[deleted]
6. Silent But Deadly
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I fart in my coworkers small office all the time.
We're friends and all, so it's nothing malicious.
I know when he leaves and usually how long he's going to be gone so I'll hold my farts and when he leaves I'll walk into his office and air out.
It's honestly hilarious. He will sometimes comment about it. He thinks that it's because he shares a vent with the bathroom 2 doors down the hall (He doesn't) but the office between his and the bathroom never stinks so there goes his theory.
Sometimes I'll go let one off then like 10 minutes later get an IM like "Dude, this office man. It fucking reeks in here. I don't think they've changed the carpets in years. This is nuts"
Meanwhile I'm holding my sides in laughter.
5. Lars In Real World
I own a 5 foot tall love doll while living with 2 grandmas & my mom. It was interesting ordering the doll and getting this big box weighing 80 pounds into the house with no one noticing. (I sat outside waiting for UPS to arrive just so no door bell was rung.) Had to go through the front door- through the hallway then into my room.
Somehow I did it with no one seeing. After owning her for about a week it's a real trouble trying to keep her clean with people around - so strategizing clean up times in the bathroom sure is a chore. One time I had her in the bathtub to clean up and just took a shower so no one would question, then I open the bathroom door to see my grandma waiting to use it.
I just had to pray she didn't open the shower curtains while doing her business- in which she didn't. So a few months go by, some family needs to move in. I would now share my room with my brother and his girlfriend temporarily. I hide the doll in a big enough box, inside my closest. No one knows I have this life sized doll- and I would rather keep it that way.
4. Mamma Mia
I had a baby when I was 15 and he was adopted. Closed adoption. Most painful thing I've ever gone through.
He turns 18 in a few months and if he so chooses, he can find me. I'm married & have kids now, and my kids have no idea he exists. I really, really want to meet him, but I'm terrified he's got mental disorders like his biological father (who is now in prison for murder.)
3. Brain Drain
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I have two:
1. That I have night terrors that I can't even explain. Usually dealing with bizarro scenes you'd see out of an American Horror Story episode. Usually about friends, family, acquaintances, old friends I haven't seen in years. Literally anyone to the point of waking up crying and being scared to sleep.
2. That I think I am actually developing Alzheimer's at age 23. I have a hard time remembering anything nowadays. I couldn't even tell you what I did yesterday. It's as distant as being 5 years-old in my mind.
I don't tell anyone because I don't like the feeling of people thinking there is something wrong with me. I already struggle with the idea that I actually have autism and everyone just interacts with me to be nice.
2. Warped Reality
I think that I am beginning to hallucinate every once in a while. Its mostly little things that are there, and then they aren't.
1. Meeting Your Maker
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I'm deeply afraid of death. I'll remember that I will die some day, and have a panic attack. It's been happening on and off since I was a child, and the first ones were around xmas, so I now hate it. No one but my close friends know, and it sucks because everyone I talk to a therapist about it, they write it off as something else, like being afraid of growing up (dude no, I just told you, it's death). Now that I'm single, I'm finding these panics harder to manage. I don't know what to do.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.