Full confession, my closest friends often tell me I'm the dumbest genius they know. I breezed through school, handle advanced concepts with ease - and I spent ten minutes looking for my phone in the dark by using the flashlight app on my phone. The saddest part is I didn't even realize how dumb I was being on my own. I tried to recruit my ten-year-old to help me and she just stood there staring at the phone in my hand with the sort of silent pre-teen judgy face you see in sitcoms.
She didn't even have to say out loud how ashamed she was of me. She just stared until I finally got it and went "oh... wait... the phone is in my hand." Then she sighed and walked silently back to her room.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the strangest thing your brain made you do on "autopilot"?
Since I do that sort of stupidly silly thoughtless stuff on a daily basis, I felt like maybe this would be the thread for me. I wasn't wrong. I'm taking comfort in the fact that I've never forgotten that I quit a habit or just showed up on my ex's porch by accident... yet.
60. Sock Trash
Went to put the trash in the clothes bin and the dirty socks in the trash can.
59. Sandwich Time
Made a sandwich with some expensive pate left over from Christmas and combined it with some lovely cheese from a local castle.
I then cut it in half and put the knife on the plate and threw half the sandwich in the sink where I was soaking a pan from earlier.
57. Man's Best Friend
Sleep deprivation from grief does things to your head. I live at home and work from home - when my dog I've had since childhood passed, I was utterly devastated. It was sudden, it was awful and I felt so guilty like, there was something I should've seen... But in the end, he was gone.
During my sleep deprivation period, I would wake up, go to let the dog out and feed him as part of my morning routine and then go make myself breakfast.
When I saw his food bowls weren't there on their tray, it didn't register to me. I thought he just knocked them under the table again. I got the door to the backyard open and called out for him.
And then it hit me all over again. The day he passed I went to go shove leftovers from dinner into his bowl when I had taken too much to eat and that set me off badly. With the calling him incident, I just went back to my room and curled up in bed until 3 PM.
I did things like that a LOT because I wasn't sleeping. At all.
That stands as the strangest... and saddest. Sorry...
- Storm137
56. In The Trash
Back in the 90's I had a long phone call (land line) with a friend. When the call was over, I threw the phone in the garbage.
55. Buckle In For This Jam
I sat down at my drum set, put my feet on the pedals and reached to put my seat belt on.
54. Chilled Electronics
I guess putting a remote or some other electronic inside the refrigerator? I don't even remember what it was, it's a common occurrence for me to sometimes just randomly put things that don't belong there after making a sandwich, maybe I should stop sleeping at 2 AM considering I have to wake up at 8.
53. Chalk Or Carrot
When I was like 3 or 4, I had chalk and a carrot in my hands. I bit into the chalk. I still remember this.
52. Lollipop
Back when I used to smoke, I had a cigarette in one hand a lollipop in the other. You can imagine the rest...
51. Green Means Go
I've stopped at green traffic lights as if they were stop signs after driving through many previous intersections that had stop signs.
50. It was for safe keeping
Made meat balls, out off a bag, in the oven. Kind of a meal prep thing so I made a lot. When they were done I put them in a Tupperware container and then put the Tupperware container back into the Tupperware drawer. Didn't even think about them until the following night when I needed more Tupperware. Glad I found them before they started to rot. 10ampfuse
49. That's not autopilot...that's Vodka!
Diving over 100 miles home and not recalling any of it. Suddenly waking up in the driveway wondering how i got there but don't remember doing it. MonKnee
48. It Burns!
Giphy
Once, I washed my eye makeup with nail polish remover. I can tell you, it hurt! madamecoucoucriss
47. What are your specials?
Bit late to the show here, but here goes.
Used to work 3rds at a fast food place, coming home most mornings absolutely exhausted. Came home one day and promptly fell into bed and passed out. Some amount of time later, someone showed up at my apartment complex and rang the security buzzer, which woke me up.
I trudged out of bed, shambled to the front door, and held down the 'talk' button. "Welcome to [restautant], how can I help you?" HuoXue
46. Old Habits
While getting acclimated to my new job, being half awake at 5:45, I have driven to my old job several times. I now consciously tell myself "don't turn here." rr_0223
45. Oh Jenahhhh!
I've got a few...
Take off my shoes and socks, in class.
Bit into my keys when my sandwich was in the other hand.
And this one was pretty stupid, but I was on complete autopilot while driving and, I guess because there was not car in front of me, I blew through a red and didn't even notice till my friend yelled at me.
Oh and routinely answering the phone with "hello this is jenahhh from eye best, what can I do for you?" After quitting my phone job there.
44. A bathroom comfort
Leave my purse on the counter by the sink in a multi-stall restaurant bathroom. My work has a single bathroom with a shower and everything so I guess setting my stuff on the counter by the sink became a habit. It was a good thing no one else came in and that my friend was waiting on me. Lol
43. Ding Dong Gratitude
When I worked at Panda Express, everytime a customer would round up to the next dollar to donate to charity, we would have to ring a bell and everyone yells "Thank you!" Well for awhile after I quit everytime I heard anything close to a bell sound I would randomly yell thank you. It's happened multiple times.
42. Great Minds
Not super strange, but a funny coincidence. I stopped to get gas, I pulled up to the pump went inside and bought a soda then got in my truck and left. Didn't realize I forgot gas until a mile later when my gas light came on so I pulled into the next station where my brother happened to be walking out of the store with a soda. I told him what I just did and he looks back at his car, parked not a pump but at the store, and says "holy crap I was about to do the same thing." So we had a good laugh and got our gas and went our separate ways.
41. How About a Snuggle?
Arriving exhausted from work, walked like a zombie to the house, straight to my room and completely undressed as soon as I got inside, completely forgetting that a friend is with me. A lady friend that is...
We still laugh about it to this day... lgfmjr
40. Life in Sleep
I am a sleep walker. Apparently, everything, including but not limited to, walking, cooking, moving furniture, sex, going outside, eating anything, and one one occasion driving. It's always played for laughs on TV, but it can be terrifying.
39. Shady Pines Ma
I sat on the toilet and was about to pee before I realized I still had my pants on.
38. Maybe You Should Rest
Giphy
Drove to my ex-wife's house, my old house, after work about ten years after leaving. I even wondered who the heck was in my driveway, which reminded me I don't have a driveway anymore.
Using a flashlight to look for my flashlight in the tent.
Using my phone to call my phone because I couldn't find it.
Sigh... 40_watt_range
37. I like Free Pizza!
I wouldn't necessarily call this "autopilot" as it's only happened once, but I was on a first date with this girl, and we were walking past a pizzeria that had an open-air dining area that was right next to the sidewalk, separated with a short fence. While walking past a table that had a couple eating, I just grabbed a piece of pizza. I don't know why I did it, my body just acted. I immediately apologized afterwards and offered to pay for the pizza, and was COMPLETELY embarrassed.
36. Rinse, lather, repeat!
Was attempting to wash hair in the shower, grabbed body soap instead of shampoo and rubbed that into hair. Realized what I'd done, proceeded to wash soap out and go for the shampoo. Grabbed the body soap AGAIN, rubbed it into hair a second time, pondered all of my life's mistakes as I re-washed it out. orangeintheovercast
35. Stare at it long enough, it'll change.
Waiting for the stop sign to turn green. dandalyisgod
You know what? One time I treated a stop light like a stop sign and did not even realize until I was about 30 feet passed the red light I had just ran. I gasped. Really lucky it was night time and no one was around. That could've been really bad. FiddleSticks3333
34. The Effort Counts....
Make a beautiful stock out of a chicken carcass. Pour it into a colander to filter out the bones. Thus resulting in a colander full of bones and the stock down the drain. TheseWereThePlaces
33. Always finish the coffee!
Woke up. Grab the salt and pepper shakers I kept in my room when I was a teenager. Brought them out to the kitchen. Started making coffee while still holding the shakers. Halfway through realized I was still holding the shakers. Put them back in my room. Got dressed for school and left.
My mom yelled at me that night for not finishing making the coffee. Trackingwest
32. As clean as can be!
Put hand soap on my toothbrush like I'd done it 1000 times. Kakorat237
31. Let's have peace!
A guy threw a chair at me when I was a bouncer from the second floor arcade and shattered it on my head. I turned around, saw the guy staring at me in absolute horror, pointed at him keeping eye contact the entire time, gently grasped him by both shoulders and walked him back down the stairs, out the front door then sat down on the sidewalk curb and then came to my senses around 4 AM at the emergency room with a text containing the security footage of me doing this because I had suffered a pretty bad concussion and don't remember anything that night.
30. Who is gaslighting me?
Giphy
In my twenties i once took something out of the freezer and placed my tv remote back in there. It took me 5 days to find it, i looked everywhere for it. I looked in the car like 4 times alone even though i knew it couldn't be there, i looked under the mattress, removed all the pillows from the couch I don't know how many times. Every drawer at least 3 times.
The worst part is that I didn't find it, a friend of mine did, he was visiting and asking if he could have something to eat i said sure take whatever you like, check the freezer. 2 minutes later he said "why is your remote in the freezer?"
Mind blown.
29. The Soft Spark
I wanted toasted marshmallows so I found the grocery list and a pen. I wrote "Marshmallows" and "Fire." Stopitpoodle
28. Denny's it is!
Woke up, took a shower, packed my lunch, then started driving to work. About 20 minutes into the drive a realized it was very dark. It was about 3am. I worked 2nd shift, didn't need to be in until 1:30pm. Also it was a Sunday, the shop was closed on Sundays. Decided to eat breakfast at Denny's before heading back and going back to sleep. ZefyrGaming
27. A Universal Pass.
Bought a coffee from the little shop at the train station, and tried to pay for it by holding my monthly pass up at the barista. nullagravida
26. Information is Key?
Tried to unlock my locker using a usb stick. It was a flip up usb as well so I first put it against the lock, saw that I hadn't flipped out the bit you stick into a computer so pushed that out and then tried to unlock my locker again. Marshmallowboats
25. Bravo to Whomever!
My dad was watching some awards show on tv while I was on my computer. The crowd clapped after a winner was announced and I started clapping along even though I wasn't paying attention in the slightest. interrupting_milk
24. Look Down
Keep in mind I was in grade 1.
I was wearing my snow pants while frantically running around asking everyone where my snow pants are. Why did no one tell me. Nexio8324
23. Just Hold Me
Giphy
Seriously sleep deprived new dad; standing still in the fresh produce isle pushing the trolley back and forth, like a pram. A very nervous cleaner came up to me and asked me if I was ok. I was doing it for about 10 minutes.
A few months later, baby is with the grandparents, standing outside, holding my wife, and we both start rocking back and forth. Our non-parents friends burst out laughing. maxil_za
22. Where was I going?
Noticing my fuel light was on, I pulled off the highway to fill up. As I start to fuel, the attendant comes up and explains that they do the fueling in Oregon; it's not self serve.
Oh alright. I step aside and begin to sort out my priorities for the day. Let's see, I left my house in Tacoma to go to Costco. So what am I doing in Portland? lacedstraight
21. Uniformed Sleep
Woke up, changed, wore my school uniform, almost got out the house when my mum stopped me. Turns out, I was napping after I came from school. So I just woke up, changed from the uniform, put it on again, then was about to leave. riot_ball
20. The Stroke
Brushing my teeth one time while wondering round the house and without thinking I just spat the toothpaste out on the floor.
Thought I had a stroke or something
19. The Night Nurse
I used to work in telephone triage (the nurses you call at all hours of the night for advice), and would sometimes have to call the on-call doctor for additional help or to call in a prescription.
And on nights when I wasn't working, I would call my mom at night and our conversations would end with "Good night, sweet dreams, I love you!"
You see where this is going...
One night around 1am, I called the on-call doc to ask a question and she ended the conversation with "Good night".
So my sleep-deprived autopilot brain immediately responded with "Good night, sweet dreams, I love you!"
The best part? Her equally sleep-deprived brain responded with "Ok, love you too!" before hanging up.
She called back about 2 minutes later and we had a good long laugh about it.
18. Dream Clock
Morning alarm went off (in winter, so still dark) got up, made coffee, fed the dog, took her out, looked around and realized it was 'too' dark came back inside and realized it was 3AM not 6AM, I had dreamt the alarm and never questioned it... the pathetic thing is we have many decorative clocks. I must have walked by 5 while getting ready.
17. Spit
I was driving my car and had a build up of saliva. So I rolled down the window to spit outside. I then looked down, and spat directly on my crotch while driving.
16. The Ex's Front Porch
Drove myself to my ex girlfriends house when I was supposed to be going to dinner with my new girlfriend. I didn't snap out of it until I was on my ex's front porch about to knock. I went to turn away when my ex opened her door asking why I was there and if everything was okay. I just awkwardly stumbled over my words, turned away and walked back to my car and drove off.
15. Ka-Chunk-Flash-Flash
Spend a good minute trying to unlock my front door with my car remote, while my car is sat about five yards behind me going ka-chunk-flash-flash every time.
14. I Forgot I Quit
I stopped at a gas station, went inside and bought a pack of cigarettes. I went to my car, opened them. Wadded up the foil pieces, removed a cigarette and lit it. It tasted like I just licked a dirty ashtray. That's when I remembered that I had quit 6 months earlier.
I went back inside and left the pack on the counter, told the guy working that I forgot I quit.
- Euphtech
13. A Whole Shelf
Put ALL the toilet paper in the fridge. There was a whole shelf of cold toilet paper.
12. A Few Too Many
I went to a bar near my ex's apartment. The whole night I was thinking I can have a couple more than usual if I want to, I'll just walk home. It was only when I was walking up the stairs to her apartment that I remembered that we broke up two weeks ago and I live on the other side of town.
11. The Train Ride Home
Left work and walked a mile to the train station. Then I took the 45 minute train ride back to my home town. I got out of the train like normal, looked around the parking lot... and suddenly remembered that I drove to work that day.
- Hrekires
10. Don't Swallow The Ring
I believe mild heat exhaustion came into play in this scenario, it was a summer day & my boyfriend and I were hanging out by my pool and ended up falling asleep in the sun for a few hours. We went inside for a snack & then napped in my room, with the door shut so no air circulation.
Woke up suddenly in the dark to my phone alarm to take my birth control, and in my disoriented state I opened the ring box on my night stand & popped the ring inside into my mouth. I sat there feeling the metal on my tongue for a solid thirty seconds thinking something didn't feel right, but arguing with myself that this was something I did every day. I won the argument and didn't swallow the ring.
9. Wrong Hand
When I was around 12 I got given a $10 bill to go buy a sub from Subway. In my other hand I had a receipt which I intended to throw away. One thing in each hand so I couldn't mix them up, right? Wrong. I used the wrong hand. I put the $10 in the trash and walked to subway before realizing what I did, luckily it was still there when I looked in the trash can!
- ClubWRX
8. Buckle Up For This Jam Session
I sat down at my drum set, put my feet on the pedals ... aaaaaaand reached to put my seat belt on.
7. Desolate Roads
Strangest? Let's say scariest.
I live in very rural Midwest, and spend lots of weekends driving flat, straight, 1 and 2 lane highways/interstates with very little traffic and nothing to look at off the highway.
Several trips I have completed, and when arriving at my destination, think to myself where the heck the past X hours just go? I don't remember a moment from them. It's like my brain just shuts off out of boredom.
People will try to be justice warriors and condemn anyone who texts and drives at any chance they get, but you don't know how desolate the country can be (especially those in populous states/cities). Some of the drives require absolutely bare minimum attention. So naturally I gravitate to my phone, music, the views around me, etc. and it's baffling how little I actually pay attention to the road sometimes.
I should clarify, when I get into residential areas, any sort of traffic, etc. I put my phone down. I do consider myself to be a good, responsible driver. But I do believe that "absolutely no texting and driving ever" is unrealistic.
6. Calling The Dog
Sleep deprivation from grief does f*cked up sh!t to your head. I live at home and work from home - when my dog I had since childhood passed, I was utterly devastated. It was sudden, it was awful and I felt so guilty like, there was something I should've seen... But in the end, he was gone.
During my sleep deprivation period, I would wake up, go to let the dog out and feed him as part of my morning routine and then go make myself breakfast.
When I saw his food bowls weren't there on their tray, it didn't register to me. I thought he just knocked them under the table again. I got the door to the backyard open and called out for him.
And then it hit me all over again. The day he passed I went to go shove leftovers from dinner into his bowl when I had taken too much to eat and that set me off badly. With the calling him incident, I just went back to my room and curled up in bed until 3 PM.
I did sh!t like that a LOT because I wasn't sleeping. At all.
That stands as the strangest... and saddest. Sorry...
- Storm137
5. Soaked Sandwich
Made a sandwich with some expensive pate left over from Christmas and combined it with some lovely cheese from a local castle.
I then cut it in half and put the knife on the plate and threw half the sandwich in the sink where I was soaking a pan from earlier.
4. Wet Clothes
My nightly routine involved changing into my jim-jams, having a wee then putting my clothes in the laundry hamper. One night I dumped my clothes into the toilet bowl and was half-way to peeing in the hamper before I clicked back to reality.
3. Back To The Start
I was walking back to my flat from the train station. I have to wait near a bus stop to cross the road. It takes me about 2 minutes to walk home from the bus stop. All I need to do is wait for a break in traffic and cross.
The bus arrives while I'm waiting. For whatever stupid reason, I get on the bus. I then pay for my destination, which is the train station, right back where I started from.
The station is 20 minutes walk away from my flat - I should know because I JUST WALKED IT. I would have had to wait for another bus to leave, which would have taken another 30-40 minutes. So I walked. Again.
God, that was an excruciating journey home.
- smidgit
2. The Bathroom Key
I do it all the time with the bathroom at work. My office is inside of a larger office building so we share a bathroom with the other tenants. It's also locked to prevent non-employees from using it.
I can't count the number of times I've been on auto-piloted and did weird things with the key. Like putting the key in my pocket right away and then being confused why the bathroom door wouldn't open;
I've gone to the bathroom and completely forgotten the key; I've tried to unlock our office door with the bathroom key; I've tried to use the office key to unlock the bathroom; I've tried to use the bathroom key on the inside of the office lock when leaving for the bathroom.
You'd think that something as simple as opening a bathroom door wouldn't cause so much trouble, especially after using it at least once a day, five days per week.
1. Porch Diapers
We cloth diaper my son. A normal change goes: stuff new diaper with inserts, take off old diaper, clean butt, button new diaper. Wipes in the trash, diaper in the bucket by the washing machine.
I stuffed the clean diaper, took off the old one. Wiped his butt, put the old one back on, and threw the clean diaper on our front porch.
My brain was telling me i needed to feed the dog (on the porch) after the diaper change. My poor kid was still laying on the floor like, "This isn't right..." and my husband told me to go take a nap.
H/T: Reddit
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.