People Break Down The Stupidest Way They Ever Got A Scar
Image by _Nini_ from Pixabay

When I was ten I decided I was a dancing valkyrie. I would shimmy all over my mother's house with abandon, sometimes in her high heels. Ten year olds in high heels, breaking it down to Madonna can lead to some disaster. One cloudy day, I was lost in "Like a Prayer." My mother had this little rectangular sized stereo (vey hip at the time) and the music blasted through it. Without thinking I jumped on her bed, heels first, in a dark room. I decided to do a back flip as Madonna sent the song's crescendo to God.

You'd be stunned how sharp the edge of a little stereo can be. I landed directly on a corner, splitting the flesh above my lip. Some blood. Some tears. Five stitches and now a life long reminder. Lesson... don't do flips on a bed in heels.

Redditor u/Zander-dupont was wondering how everyone has blemished their bodies now and again by asking... What is the stupidest way you got a scar?

It will always be the small things that get you. The more simplicity involved, the higher the level of danger. If only we knew that tying a necktie or gardening in the yard could lead to catastrophe. Although if we're more aware of the world around us, we'd never leave the house. But we should stay vigilant. The following people probably wish they had.

Tied Up

grocery store falling GIFGiphy

I couldn't tie my laces as a kid and liked to walk with my hands in my pockets.

This led to me tripping over my laces, no hands to protect and landing face first onto a stone step, the corner of which went right between my eyes, leaving a small scar where my monobrow grows.

King_of_Dantopia

Soaked

I was holding a super soaker reservoir bottle underwater at a lake to fill it up. It slipped out of my hand and shot up out of the water, hit me in my lip and split it open all the way through to the other side. Needed stitches inside my mouth and right below my bottom lip. Got a small scar from it.

Way2GoBucko

Bad Veggie

Kid in the church nursery hit me in the eye with a plastic carrot. It was 40 years ago. I've still got a scar.

grh77

Carrots are good for the eye after all.

NO-THIS-IS-PATRICK24

Damn Corn

I was in a cornfield and grabbed a cob of corn to throw at a friend. The leaf from the corn stalk went between my middle and index fingers as I released the throw and sliced the webbing open deep enough that I could see my tendons. That was 25 years ago and I still have the scar.

Gubble_Buppie

I can't do blood; not mine, not yours. If a massive injury befalls you and I'm around... I hope it's a good death. I'll be passed out bleeding from the head, due to my fainting on the floor next to you. The next bunch of people have witnessed or survived a few instances that require a trigger warning. And I hate the word gnarly. It holds too many memories... you'll see.

Stitches Required...

My father fell off his motorbike and went through a bush that contained a barb wire fence. Tore his mouth up pretty bad.

But that's not the story I'm telling. No.

My auntie had knee surgery when I was a toddler and as she was just about able to walk she came over to visit. Toddler me, being a little fool, decided to go over to her with my plastic mallet and bopped her on her knee. My father laughed so hard that his stitches opened. :/.

P0sitive_Outlook

to be sure...

angry knife GIF by MunchiesGiphy

Someone said "that knife is for cutting tape, so it won't cut people" and I checked.

Appaismycopilot

face first...

The headrest of our bed was made of solid wood and had curved edges. It was wide enough for a 2 year old (me) to sit on and I used to love sliding off it. Well one night I sat on it to slide as usual with my legs on either side. My leg on the bed got stuck between the pillows and I fell face first on the floor. Got a cut on my forehead which required 6-7 stitches.

sleepingachiever

Gnarly Elbows

10 year old me shredded too hard on a razor scooter. I hit a bump going down the steepest hill in my hometown and gave the concrete a pretty good People's Elbow.....still have a 3 inch scar that wraps around my elbow and looks pretty gnarly for a razor scooter accident.

Rocks_4_Jocks

Sometimes we're just lacking in common sense. I have a broken tooth (now mended cosmetically) from the time I decided to swing around a pole like a lasso wrangled by a cowboy, with my eyes closed. I loved the feel of the air refreshing my face. However I wasn't paying attention to the ground beneath me, so when I tripped on my last spin, I smashed my face into said pole. And the rest is horror history. The next few dolts can relate.

Circles

Got a string tied around my ankle to see if it was strong enough to hold me back when I ran.

It was not.

The scar circles my ankle and hasn't changed in 20 years.

Diogenese-

I have a similar one from my dog.

Brought him to my mom's place on the coast, and while I brought my own normal-sized leash, my mom had one of those extend-o leashes with a tiny round cord, which I thought might be nice for him to run on the beach.

On the trail back from the beach, we came across someone walking another dog. My dog gets really excited about other dogs, especially now that we're all isolated and crap. In his frenzy he wrapped the leash around my shorts-clad legs and then yanked it tight. The stupid skinny leash worked like a garotte and sliced the mess out of my calf.

lurkmode_off

A Handout

Giphy

I stuck a hand between the gears of my grandmother's sewing machine while it was running.

Ouch!

InteractiveDinner

Scars, like tattoos can be very sexy. However, you don't want too many. So be careful out there. Look both ways at crosswalks, be methodical in action. Literally tripping over a soda can can kill you... true story.

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I may not be popular for saying this, but I think comedy is the best form of entertainment.

However, it’s not always easy to find great comedy.

There are lots of comedians who make me smile or even make me laugh at a joke or two. Yet, it’s really hard to find a comedian who can keep me laughing through their whole set.

If you’re having trouble finding those kinds of comedians, or are just ready to find a new comedian to enjoy, Redditors are here to help.

Probably hoping to find a great comedian themself, Redditor Plastic_Ad_6179 asked:

"Who's the best comedian of all time in your opinion?"

Sean Lock

"Sean Lock"

"For many reasons, but mainly for being the undisputed champion of the world in...Carrot In A Box:"

– Rymundo88

"What a HUGE talent. Luckily he left a lot of great footage. Terrible loss."

– Pan-tang

"The comedians comedian"

– FrederickBishop

George Carlin

"George Carlin."

"Honorable mention to Bill Burr."

– gobigred3562

"When I turned 21, my mom took me to Vegas. We saw Carlin perform and we laughed solidly for 90 minutes. I don’t remember any of the jokes, but I have never laughed like that since. He was a true master of the art."

– drCrankoPhone

"Carlin is the only correct answer. Nobody will ever touch that level of wit, wordplay, satire, and social commentary."

"Nobody."

– reflUX_cAtalyst

Mike Birbiglia

"I went to a Mike Birbiglia show at Zanies in Nashville back in 2008. Guy killed…got up on stage, told 1 story. Took him 90 minutes to get through that story. The whole time, he’s veering off on tangents that seemed completely natural, conversational even. Each tangent was a tiny hilarious story itself. The show seemed so smooth and flowed so naturally, that I could hardly believe it was written. It was masterful. Sure, he doesn’t tell jokes that leave you breathless with laughter, but he does tell jokes that get 90% of the way there with such consistency that I’m actually more impressed with that than the former."

– mavol

Norm MacDonald

"In terms of:"

  • "Being at the top of his game for a long period of time"
  • "Being perfect at timing and execution"
  • "Understanding comedy to a degree that other comedians notice and respect"
  • "Being clever and witty on the spot"
  • "Having memorable jokes and killer standup routines"

"Norm MacDonald"

– warpus

"My favorite story about Norm MacDonald I've heard is that when he was coming up if he bombed he'd wait in the back of the club after the show to shake everyone's hand in their way out. If he killed he wouldn't. What a legend."

– SixPieceTaye

"If you asked a group of comedians who their favorite comedian is I'd bet Norm would be near the top of the list. So much of his material was a deconstruction of comedy itself. If Norm MacDonald tells you a bad joke, and you laugh, is it still a bad joke? Why is it funny? Are you laughing at him or is he laughing at you?"

– foldingcouch

Mitch Hedberg

"Mitch Hedberg. RIP."

– onepotatotwopotato3

"I used to love that guy. I still do but I used to too."

– ChefHannibal

""I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.""

""F**k you, zzzzzzzzzzip""

– StarktheGuat

Monty Python

"Monty Python, as a group."

"I don't think there's been a single more influential comedy act than Flying Circus."

– EarlyBirdsofBabylon

"I agree with it just because it’s one of the few non-American mentions here. People seriously think that humor ends on American Stand Up and television…"

"Also Monty Python is ALWAYS funny"

– RockThePlazmah

Robin Williams

"Robin Williams."

– Flicksterea

"Live on Broadway stands as one of the most memorable things I have ever watched."

– Grimlock64

"Idk why he isn’t higher on this list or mentioned more often. Robin Williams had absolutely insane improv skills. Watch the episode of Who’s Line with him as the guest star, the rest of the cast can’t keep it together."

– _xXmyusernameXx_

Lucille Ball

"Lucille Ball"

– LusciousofBorg

"Scrolled this far to find a female comedian! Love Lucille Ball"

– boonybun

"I saw I Love Lucy was streaming a couple months ago. Having watched it as a kid, I figured I’d put it on for a nostalgic chuckle. I was not ready for that show to be so, so funny—I nearly passed out I was laughing so hard."

– mypantsareawesome

"She was a comedic genius."

– DrWorm_DD

Rowan Atkinson

"Rowan Atkinson (John Cleese closely second)"

– DarkFluids777

"Atkinson is such an amazing physical comedian that it’s basically overlooked that he’s a first-rate stand-up, as well."

– HilariousSpill

Eddie Murphy

"Eddie Murphy"

– onterrible1

"He saved SNL. They wouldn't be on air today were it not for Murphy"

– Blackgurlmajik

"Goat of comedy"

– IndependenceScary644

Comedy may not be everyone’s favorite form of entertainment, but it is a can’t miss, so long as the comedian in question is a good one.

Luckily, we’ve got some great suggestions above.