A lot has changed since we first started communicating via text and DM. Somewhere along the way, proper punctuation went from showing manners and etiquette to being rude in some cases.
Don't act like you've never gotten a text or a message and been like "oh you better NOT take that tone of text with me."
So now everybody is out here sending texts with no punctuation because we're concerned that proper punctuation makes us look rude. But really, it's just a dot. (I'm still not using one in a text unless I want you to truly understand that I am side-eyeing you.)
In any event, one Reddit user asked:
What feels rude but actually isn't?
and yeah... get ready to feel really uncomfortable with some stuff.
You Owe Me
snap pay you back GIF by Teachers on TV Land
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Asking for money that is owed to you. It seems awkward and rude but it really isn't, or at least shouldn't be.
If you have to ask the person to pay you back, just consider that money the cost of a lesson in that persons character.
- BenStillerIsntReal
Omg yes... Not only money.. Anything that belongs to you.. And you have to kindly borrow it back
Here But Not Here
Not being available 24/7 despite being reachable 24/7
As a long-time work-from-home employee, I've had to remind people of this countless times. Just because I work from home, it does not mean that I live at work.
I work remotely PART TIME for one of my jobs. They act like I should be available 24/7. I shouldn't have to make an excuse, but I often find myself saying "ooh sorry I was called into my other job at that time" instead of being honest and saying honestly I'm not "on call" just because I'm hourly and remote
Also not being reachable all the time. Like, I've had people get mad at me for not responding to their texts/phone calls. BRO I HAVE THINGS TO DO!!! I AM NOT JUST HERE FOR YOUR PERSONAL ENJOYMENT!!! PISS OFF!!!
- kronch_
Gotta Go
Ending a conversation with someone who is legit trying to commandeer your time.
100% this. I hate feeling like a d!ck for abruptly ending conversations with door to door salespeople after they steamroll through all my polite attempts to disengage.
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times. As I've gotten older and more confident I have started to shut down one sided "conversations" and made to feel it was rude. When I have rebutted that in actuality, it is the person that is commanding your attention while fully realizing you are not interested that is rude.
I just did this 20 minutes ago. I was taking my dog out and someone stopped me to talk about the census. It's 9pm here, my dog does not like strangers. I told her I already filled it out and said have a good night, she said "well what apartment do you live in? Can I ask you more questions?" I just decided to f*** politeness and said "nope. I don't want to and my dog isn't nice. I'm leaving now."
- pestiter
Calling In Sick
Calling out of work when I am sick. Most act like I'm faking it so makes me feel bad whenever I need to due to medical issues
I tried calling out once and was told to come in. I'd been vomiting all morning. Couldn't get it to stop. So I drove it work. Driving 20 minutes, I had to pull over twice to puke. I get to the office, and I tell the boss, and he insists I get to work. In my office, I puke in the trash can three times in an hour.
He calls me into his office to assign me some project. It's going good. I feel somewhat better. I go over to his desk to retrieve some papers. And proceed to vomit all over his desk/suit. He screams at me. Threatens to fire me. And I told him "I fcking told you I was sick and vomiting all morning!"
After he calmed down, he agreed that he handled it wrong. We both went home early (though he went back). I got 5 days off to recover. I felt better almost immediately after puking in his office, so I enjoyed the paid time off.
Honesty Is A Painful Policy
Being honest with someone about their abilities. There's a way to do it without being rude.
I spent 2 years studying a craft in a very competitive field and toward the end of the 1st year I started to fall behind and my instructor started to give me polite responses instead of actual feedback. So I followed him to his office one day and said I feel like I'm getting shrugged off, I know I'm not going as well as others but lay it on me.
He didn't want to because these are peoples life-long dreams and its hard to crush people's spirits. But he laid it all on the line, said I'm going hang on for a while and fizzle out within a couple of years.
I asked for specifics, he hit back even harder. I didn't take it hard and in fact I was excited because I was going to fail anyway before he was brutally honest but now I had specifics to work on and improve on!
A couple years later we were talking and he said "you know I was wrong about you" and I got to say "no you were so right. and if you hadn't told me all of that, I wouldn't have worked on it".
Because of his honesty I had two choices that were better than the path I was on. Either find something else to do with my life, or hone in on my shortcomings and work tirelessly on them and if it hasn't gotten better a year from now then I can find something else to do with my life. I got better over that year and now work in the field I'd started my studies in. That definitely wouldn't have been the case if that instructor had kept being polite and never gave it to me straight.
You gotta be honest with people you know. Not in a mean way, not fully unsolicited. But if you're not honest with something people are trying to get good at or pursue a career in, you're setting them up for failure by not pointing out weaknesses they can fix or by accidentally encouraging them to go down a path that leads to a dead end.
- BirdHawk
Perusing The Wares
When you're at a craft fair or farmer's market or some other outdoor event where people have a bunch of tables set up to sell their wares, go up to a table to check out what they're selling, and walk away. Either you don't like what they have, or they're selling their nice soaps for waaaay too much money.
They are looking at you this whole time with this happy, expectant look on their face, like "This is it, I'm going to get a sale!" Or worse, when you ask them what they're all about, and they go into this long pitch about their thing, only for you to realize that you're not interested. I always feel like a complete a$hole for going, "Yeah. Well, okay. Bye!"
This scenario causes me so much stress. When I'm at farmer's markets/craft fairs/etc, I want to go take a look then walk away - I rarely buy things in those environments, but enjoy browsing. It's so hard to walk away after giving them hope that they'd get a sale, but I also wonder that by showing no interest at all I'm hurting their feelings and making them feel that their products are unwanted.
So I'm stuck between getting their hopes up and wasting their time, or making them feel worse that no one is even interested in the first place.
That's Not My Name
Correcting someone if they mispronounce my name.
I have such a bizarre name that is so hard to guess the pronunciation of from the spelling (thanks, mom) that people mispronounce it constantly. It's just part of my life.
I've found the best way to deal with it is to say something like "close, lots of folks have trouble with it! It's actually [correct pronunciation]". That way it isn't rude and comes off as friendly and even conversational.
This is a bit easier for me because my last name is Italian and I don't think I've ever run into someone who has mispronounced it who hasn't said it with that tone of "I'm really trying here but I know I'm butchering it.".
I like to respond with the correction and give a little sort of "But you were close!" with a chuckle to let them know all is well.
The Food Dance
Hungry Full House GIF
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Saying "no thanks" when offered more food. Especially at a family function, there's always those relatives that offer so much. I really don't need to eat that much food.
My poor wonderful brother in law, right after he married my sister, they went to visit my grandparents. My family mindset is "it's rude not to offer more food, but it won't hurt our feelings if they turn it down" where his families mindset is "if food is offered, it's rude to refuse."
This poor man ended up eating like 3 or 4 full servings of dinner before my sister realized what was happening and stepped in. He'd finish what was on his plate and my grandma offered more and he felt obligated to take and eat it.
I have kind of an opposite story. I am from a culture where "I offer it once, take it or leave it" whereas my gf is from a culture where "it's greedy to accept the first offer".
In the beginning she was going hungry and then complained that I only offered it once and didn't give her time to think. Now I try to offer something a second time, and she tries to not feel guilty for accepting the first offer.
Boundaries
Telling people what you want as far as your boundaries.
"I really don't like being touched. Please don't touch me."
"I prefer not to text a lot during work hours."
"I don't like making last minute plans. Next time please let's set up plans ahead of time."
"I don't think we really click. I don't think this is working."
But standing up for your boundaries encourages people to stand up for theirs, too.
- VeryBun
Kiosk Conundrum
Rejecting kiosk workers feels rude, but i digress.
I went to a mall and I have really big, thick hair. One girl asked me if I ever straighten it and I said no and she was like "well, this straightener is easy, less damaging, let me try it on you!" And I said no thanks and then she's like "come on i insist!" And I was like noooooo f*cking thank you.
Then like an hour later I walked by the same kiosk again and a different guy was working and asked to try the straightener on my hair and I said no, and he asked "why not" and I said because I don't like straightening my hair. He's like "well this is not time consuming!" And I got really mad and kinda yelled "I'm not buying a hair straightener from you!"
- assliam
First Class
Had my honeymoon last December, and I upgraded our seats for the long flight. Of course, this includes higher boarding priority than coach, which I had never experienced before.
Boarding the plane for the trip home we walked up to the gate just after our group had finished boarding and I walked past the line, straight to the front and boarded ahead of everyone still queuing for coach. A few people made comments like "I guess they think they're more important than we are", which was pretty rude if you ask me.
There was nothing wrong with it, we actually boarded later than we should have and couldn't put our bags in the "reserved" overhead space because it was filled.
I used to be a flight attendant, people in coach complaining about the perks of first class happened on almost every flight. It got to the point where I would just straight up say yes, when you pay more you get more.
Knock Knock
Not answering your own door when someone knocks.
People, you don't need to answer your own door. You don't have to hide so the person doesn't see you either. Stare at them through the window until they walk away if you want. It's your house, they are bothering you.
There are a hundred reasons why a person won't answer their door--you're napping, you're in the bathroom, you're on the phone, you're in the backyard, you're sick, you're eating, you're too lazy, you don't feel safe, etc, hell you just don't fcking feel like it--hopefully the person picks one in their head quickly and kindly fcks off your porch.
- Waddlow
Don't Touch My Hair
Okay, sooo I'm a black woman. If someone asks to touch my hair and I say, "no," that should be all there is to it. Please don't get mad at me because I don't want you, a stranger to touch my fro.
OMG, this. My girlfriend is black and keeps her hair natural. The number of times people don't even fcking ask before putting their hands in it makes me stabby.
Ok I'm white, and I guess us white people have boring hair cause we don't get asked that, but I live in a mostly black neighborhood and I hear a LOT of black women get asked that like when they're out shopping or whatever, and I just think....wtf why do people just go around touching y'all's hair???!!! I cannot imagine why anyone would think it's fine to just come up and touch your hair BUT IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. Wtf.
Leave Me Alone
Asking your family to not interrupt when you're working.
Some people just don't get that if I'm on page 600 of marking a 650-page paper, and you interrupt me to argue about politics, or complain that the dog just shat on the carpet, I have to go back to page 1.
And then you wait until I get to page 630 before you walk in and interrupt me again. Back to page 1.
And when I'm on page 649, just leave me the hell alone.
Genuinely Interested
Asking further questions after someone shares a personal, sometimes traumatic story. Don't want to come off as I'm fishing but I'm genuinely interested.
Gravel
art photoshop GIF
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Turning down a useless or unwanted gift.
I feel like a dick because the person is being kind to give me something, but at the same time I don't want to carry around the gravel you tried to give me when I told you I like rocks.
Feels similar to turning down food you don't enjoy.
Not Your Therapist
Refraining from offering support/giving advice to someone when you know you are not emotionally able or comfortable. The amount of times I've had complete strangers and acquaintances unload heavy emotional news on me is insane.
I had a camp counselor that I met once during a university sponsored event repetitively text me out of the blue about their 3+ disorders every time they had a major depressive episode (which was frequently). Of course I helped out a much as I could and they were already receiving professional help, but at some point I knew that being their emotional rock was literally causing me mental anguish myself.
I'm an extremely empathetic person, so I tend to take on other's emotions in my own, so I just stopped responding. I can't be your psychiatrist or therapist, I'm sorry.
Hygiene or More Work
Taking a new plate for every serving you take from a buffet. I know it has to do with hygiene but hear me out. I was raised in a family that believes you can take many servings so we don't take a ton of food every go to avoid food waste.
Because of this, my plate is never very dirty and I always feel like I'm giving them more wash up work when I could just use the plate again.
- Lark1987
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Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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